Things I Love And Loathe

The Next Food Network Star is over and Melissa won.

Whoop-Tee-Freakin-Doo! I didn't like her at all.

She portrayed herself as the 'Mom' cooking for stay-at-home moms, but she wasn't a stay-at-home mom. And she had weird eyes. Don't believe me. Find a picture of her--I would post one but, seriously, her eyes scare me--and cover up her mouth. The eyes look mean...even when she's smiling the eyes look mean.

Mean Eyed Melissa the Not-Stay-At-Home Mom.

Pfffft

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Ryan O'Neal hitting on a woman as they load Farah's casket in the hearse?

Some woman hugged him and he asked if she wanted to have a drink or if she had a car. The woman, apparently flustered, could only mutter: "Daddy, it's me, Tatum."

He hits on his own daughter at the funeral of the love of his life.

I've heard of moving on, but this is the Speed Of Light Moving On.

I've heard of I Will Love Again, but not I Will Love Again This Instant.

Pig.

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Birthers.

You're racists.

Simple.

If Obama wasn't black you'd have nothing to say.

So shut up already.

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Members of Congress who are trying to hold up any form of health care reform for the country.

Why do we expect asshats who have access to an amazing health care plan to give a flying fuc....fig about us.

If your representatives and senators fall into that category of not doing anything, write to them and tell them that the next election you will work to vote their flabby do-nothing asses out of office.

And. Then. Do. It.

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"You have to know how much to do and when to do it. I recommend doing a little bit at a time, otherwise you look like you've been through a wind tunnel. Robert Redford looks like he's in the Witness Protection Program. He could actually kill a man and get away with it now."

Joan Rivers on the perils of plastic surgery.

Yes, that Joan Rivers.

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Sixty-something year old women who still act like the Mean Girl from high school. It doesn't get more sad. Or pathetic.

If you can't find happiness in your own life don't try to tear it out of your friend's life.

That, um, isn't friendship.

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Mowing the lawn.

I. Am. Loving. It.

When we bought the house in Smallville Carlos was thrilled to have a lawn to mow--we didn't have one in Miami. Now, on the other hand, I had grown up mowing the lawn for my Mom and Dad and I hated it.

Until now.

I have recently become the de facto grass cutter of our Smallville yard and I love it. it takes a long time, because it's a huuuuge yard, but I love it.

Crazy.

I know!

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Paris Hilton.

Lindsay Lohan.

That's all.