Monday, May 22, 2017
Sunday, May 21, 2017
David Horsey, Nate Beeler, Adam Zyglis, Steve Sack, Jack Ohman, Rick McKee, Clay Bennett, Gary Varvel, RJ Matson, Nick Anderson
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Miley Cyrus, who gave up being Hannah Montana to be a Twerking, tongue-sucking, pot smoking nudist, has now decided to be more like Hannah Montana again because no one is interested in Miley Cyrus any more. And so how does she drum up gossip for her newest, oldest, incarnation? She tells stories that don’t make a lot of sense.
Cyrus—wait, isn’t that her Dad’s name now?—recently announced that her oldest and dearest friend in the world is Katy Perry, and that it started after Perry Katy wrote I Kissed A Girl about Miley. And, not only was the song about Miley, but it also jumpstarted her do whatever it takes to get noticed addiction.
“She’s been a friend of mine for a really long time. We were actually just realizing the other day that next year, we’ll have been friends for 10 years. I think that’s my friend that I’ve known the longest. Which is really, really weird. I Kissed a Girl, I was doing the Hannah Montana movie, and I heard her on the radio. They said, ‘Who did you write that about?’ She said me! I screamed and started freaking out, and then she asked me to go to the VMAs with her. That’s when I started doing my whole VMA controversy. I was like, ‘I’ll go with Katy Perry!’ So that’s how we met and we just stayed friends.” When [Perry] came out with
Wait. You met after she said she wrote the song about you? So, then, you weren’t the girl she actually kissed and liked it?
Huh? I think all that weed has affected Miley’s memory and storytelling ability and self-importance because Katy Perry herself says the song was about Scarlett Johansson:
“I was with my boyfriend at the time, and I said to him, ‘I’m not going to lie: If Scarlett Johansson walked into the room and wanted to make out with me, I would make out with her. I hope you’re okay with that?'”
To be fair, Miley and Katy have kissed; but it was during Miley’s Look At Me phase, long after the song was written.