Monday, May 22, 2017

It's Just A Coincidence ....

You know, there are some who say there is no such thing as coincidence and, yeah, they’re right ...

On the same weekend that First-Son-In-Law and Russian Pal Soon To Be Under Investigation If He Isn’t Already Jared Kushner—Complicit’s husband—brokered a $100 billion arms deal with Saudi Arabia—the largest arms sale in U.S. history—the Saudis donated $100 million to Complicit’s female entrepreneurship fund.

The fund has already received donations from countries like Canada, Germany and the United Arab Emirates, and while Complicit is quick to point out that she doesn’t directly solicit donations, the fact remains that Daddy loves anything Complicit does and it appears that countries that want to appease this President-For-Now can do so by writing a big check for First Money Grubbing Daughter.

Yup ... nothing to see there, except collusion, conflicts of interest and That Family using the White House to help themselves before helping this country.

As my mother might have said, “Pardon my French, but .... Fuck ‘em all.”

Okay, my mother never would’ve dropped an f-bomb, but still ...

The GOP Should Treat _____ Like They Treated Clinton, Unless They Want To Look Like Asshats

I think we should take the GOP at their word, er, words.

I mean, during the 2016 election campaign, Hillary Clinton was continually vilified by Republicans who claimed she was unfit to lead because she used a private email server as Secretary of State.

But then cut to last week when President-For-Now _____ revealed highly classified information to Russian officials during a White House meeting. That information, given to the United States by a partner—ALLEGEDLY Israel—in an intelligence-sharing arrangement, did not concern specific intelligence sources and methods, but _____’s disclosure could compromise our relationship with that partner.

Now, to be fair, the president—even one who is an idiot—has the authority to declassify information at will, so _____ did nothing illegal, but we still have those GOP words of wisdom about Hillary that just might bite the Grand Old White Men party in the ass ... like a Tweet by the Not-Yet-President-For-Now, who said:
“Crooked Hillary Clinton and her team "were extremely careless in their handling of very sensitive, highly classified information." Not fit!”
Add to that, House Speaker, Paul Ryan, or as I like to call him, Pandering F%k, who took to Twitter at least once a month from July to November to call Clinton “reckless” and “downright dangerous”:
“It's simple: Individuals who are ‘extremely careless’ w/ classified info should be denied further access to it.”
“The American people need to know what accountability Sec. Clinton will face for her mishandling of classified info.”
“It’s no small matter to hand over classified info to a person as reckless w/ national security info as Sec. Clinton.”
“The documents from the FBI demonstrate Hillary Clinton's reckless & downright dangerous handling of classified info.”
“I renew my call for the Director of National Intelligence to suspend all classified briefings for Secretary Clinton.”
These documents further demonstrate Secretary Clinton's complete disregard for handling classified information.”
And let’s not forget Little Marco Rubio, who may have taken a day off from attending an ALLEGED foam party, to Tweet:
“The FBI's decision regarding Clinton's mishandling of classified emails once again proves that she is DQ'd from being Commander in Chief.”
And then there’s Rand Paul, who, like Rubio, was a massive failure in securing the GOP nomonation for president, but did take the time to suggest Clinton be jailed:
 “The appearance is terrible. The decision is astounding. Ppl have gone to jail for less severe classified breaches and national security.”
Yup, they wanted Clinton jailed, they wanted her out of any chance of being president, because, maybe, maybe, her use of an unsecured server could have, could have, leaked information, but when their candidate, who every single day reminds us all that he is clearly unfit to be president, actually does divulge classfiifed information to the Russians, who helped him win the office, the GOP looks the other way.

Of _____’s ginormous gaffe, Pandering F&k said this:
“We have no way to know what was said, but protecting out nation’s secrets is paramount.”
Huh, Pandering F%k, you had no proof that anything Secretary Clinton did harmed this country in any way, but you do have proof, clear proof because the asshat admitted it, that President-For-Now _____ is unfit to serve and yet you sidestep.

I am so hoping the people of Wisconsin wise up and vote your ass out of office because you, sir, are exactly what is wrong with politics today; the GOP’s Tribal Hypocrisy, in condemning others for the same things you do and doing it gleefully and without batting an eye, is disgusting.




The lot of them.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

It's Snarkurday!

Last week a story came out that Steve Harvey doesn’t want his staff speaking to him. He actually sent a memo—that was leaked to the press—suggesting they make an appointment if they needed to speak to him; it read, in part:
“Do not come to my dressing room unless invited ... Do not approach me while I’m in the makeup chair unless I ask to speak with you directly. Do not take offense to the new way of doing business. It is for the good of my personal life and enjoyment.”
Harvey didn’t apologize for the memo, he just claimed it’s “annoying” when people take advantage of his valuable time by talking to him.

Well, now Andy Cohen is playing that tune ... for a laugh. On a recent episode of “Watch What Happens Live” Cohen gave his Instagram followers a tour of his dressing room and showed off his brand-new accessory: a Steve Harvey doorbell that features picture of Harvey with a red nose that reads, “Ring to Enter”:
“This is my dressing room. We made a Steve Harvey doorbell and the Steve Harvey memo. If you open my door expect to be removed! Do not come into my f–king dressing room!'”
Cohen is joking; Harvey thinks he’s something special.
For a while now we’ve talked Johnny Depp and his crazy spending habits, but all that may change if Depp doesn’t change his behavior.

At one point, Depp was ALLEGEDLY worth $650 million, mostly due to his exorbitant salaries from those endless Pirates of the Caribbean films, and some generous backend deals, but that may be over because he’s not as bankable as he once was, and he’s a lot to handle ... as evidenced by rumors of his behavior on the set of the latest, last, please, Pirates film.

It seems Disney execs are worried that Depp’s personal peccadilloes might impact the marketing of the $230 million-budget film and future of a $3.7 billion franchise. It’s been six years since the last Pirates movie—which earned a billion worldwide—and Depp’s last Disney project, Alice Through the Looking Glass, lost hundreds of millions of dollars for Disney.

So, this one better work or Johnny may find himself out of a pirate job and less likely to drink $35,000 bottles of wine.

Sources close to the production say the entire shoot was a mess, between Johnny’s ALLEGED excessive drinking, the ALLEGED physical fights with now ex-wife Amber Heard and the ALLEGED habitual tardiness on set, which left hundreds of extras waiting for hours on end and dollars being wasted.

Several times, the production staffers raised the matter of Depp’s tardiness with him, both on set and in his trailer, to no avail; so, producers actually placed a staffer in an unmarked car outside Depp’s rental home to call and alert those on-set that the lights had come on in Johnny’s house and he was awake:
“When he got up, he’d turn on the light, and the moment the light went on they’d call the line producer, who would then call the directors: ‘He’s up! He’s getting ready!’”
In addition to his tardiness, Depp also injured himself, slicing open his finger in what was rumored to be a booze-fueled fight with Amber, though the story put out by the studio was that he got it caught in a car door, or caught in a sliding door.

Gosh, it sounds like Disney is still spinning fairy tales in an effort to save their Billion Dollar Baby, but they may have to spin several more if they want to make their money back on a Johnny Depp film.
Gabourey Sidibe, wanted to buy some glasses at the Chanel store in Chicago, but says she was treated worse than a Julia Roberts Movie Hooker on Rodeo Drive by the staff at the store.

It seems that when Gabby asked about the eyewear, the sales clerk—You work on commission, don’t you? Big mistake; huge—said they didn’t carry optical glasses and referred her to the discount store across the street.

Wait ... there’s a discount store across from Chanel? In what motherf**king universe?

Anyway, instead of wasting her time arguing with snotty Chanel store bigots, Gabby wrote an essay:
“I’d love to pretend she was being polite, and I’m sure she would love to pretend she was polite, but she was actually condescending. … I knew what she was doing. She had decided after a single look at me that I wasn’t there to spend any money ... I suspect it’s because I’m black, but it could also be because I’m fat. Maybe my whole life, every time I thought someone was being racist, they were actually mistreating me because I’m fat. That sucks too. That’s not OK.”
And, following the publication of Sidibe’s essay, Chanel issued an apology, saying:
“We are sorry that she felt unwelcome and offended. We took her words very seriously and immediately investigated to understand what happened, knowing that this is absolutely not in line with the high standards that Chanel wishes to provide to our customers.”
Wow, that’s not really an apology is it? It’s like a yawn-ology; a quick ‘Sorry’ and a ‘We’ll see about it.’

Hey Chanel? Gabby needs eyewear, a Chanel suit, custom-made in size Fabulous and a lifetime supply of No. 5. All on your dime. M’kay?
Beyoncé never met anyone, or anything, she didn’t want to make a profit from, including her own child. See, she wants to trademark her daughter Blue Ivy Carter’s name, but apparently some wedding planning company with the same name keeps giving her the side-eye and a shake of the head.

And now Blue Ivy event-planning has now moved against Queen Bey for a second time ... the courts sided with owner, Veronica Alexandra, once in 2012, but Beyoncé will not give up—I think she’s looking for coins to pay for that lip work she had last week or something—and so now she has stopped trying to trademark Blue Ivy, and is trying to trademark Blue Ivy Carter in hopes that it’s different enough to make a difference.

Bey supposedly wants to start a whole “Blue Ivy Carter” brand that will include video games and beauty supplies. What? But, Blue Ivy—the wedding planner—says Beyoncé is a liar and just doesn’t want anyone else to use the name. They contend that Beyoncé’s motive for applying for the new trademark is to simply make sure others aren’t able to obtain the name, and not to market products themselves.

Well that sounds about right. I mean, video games and beauty supplies? Howsabout auto parts and lingerie, Bey?

Let it go. Besides, Blue Ivy Carter sounds like a mid-range brand of indoor outdoor carpeting.
It looks like a New Couple Alert is in order ...

Yup, 67-year-old David Foster and 33-year-old Katharine McPhee were seen on a romantic dinner date at Nobu in Malibu recently and ALLEGEDLY treated fellow diners to some heavy-handed PDA:
“David and Katharine were very intimate during their dinner. David was seen grabbing Katharine’s face and kissing her cheek several times. Katharine was doing the same to David’s face and they were acting as if they were a couple. By the end of the date, Katharine sat on David’s side of the table and cuddled him with a blanket.”
Both these folks get around ... Katharine was recently linked to her Scorpion co-star Elyes Gabel, and before that, while she was married, she was ALLEGEDLY cheating with her also-married Smash director.

David Foster has been married four times—his most recent split was last year from wife Yolanda Foster—and he’s been rumored to have dated Selma Blair and Christie Brinkley.

Yeah, this one sounds like it has a sell-by gate of early June.
Well, the feud has spilled off TV and into real life, er, “real life”, as several of the “Real Housewives of New York City” are privately complaining that Bravo has a favorite wife in Bethenny Frankel. And it appears that the feud also includes other “reality show stars” from other Bravo shows like “Vanderpump Rules” and “Below Deck.”

Below Deck, really? Isn’t that like the Ugly Stepchild of Bravo reality shows?

Anyway, it all started when Frankel was the only Bravo star—besides former network exec and current on-air host Andy Cohen—invited to Bravo’s parent-company, NBC’s upfront presentation at Radio City Music Hall.

An NBC Universal spokesperson, trying to clear the air, and keep the table-flipping, wig-pulling, champagne tossing to a minimum, says Frankel was there not as a member of the “Real Housewives” cast but to pitch her new show with “Million Dollar Listing’s” Fredrik Eklund, which has the working title of “Keeping it Real Estate With Bethenny and Fredrik.”
But that may not be entirely true, because just last year, NBC invited many Bravo “stars” to the upfronts, like “Housewife” Luann D’Agostino, and “Housewife” Kyle Richards and not really a “Housewife” Kenya Moore, along with castmembers from “The Shahs of Sunset.”

A source—and it might be jailbird Teresa Giudice—says:
“The cast members all want to go to hobnob at the upfronts. They always feel insulted if the networks don’t want to parade them out in front of the advertisers. And another sore spot is if they hear their castmates are invited and they aren’t.”
Bravo isn’t saying a word, and for once, Frankel is also quiet.

And is that a bad thing?
At this year’s Met Gala there was brouhaha about the self-entitled celebrities who invaded the bathrooms to smoke and dish and made it near-impossible for the self-entitled non-celebrities to use the powder rooms.

So, what does one do if one is, say, JLo?

Well, since Jennifer Lopez doesn’t wait in long lines—unless it’s in the New Boyfriend Pickup line, or the Botox Injections line—she brings bodyguards to block the doors.

See, when JLo had to use the bathroom at the Robin Hood Foundation Benefit this week, four of her security guards closed it down so JLo could have complete privacy.

And so a long line of twitchy ladies, jumped and jiggled and wondered who was inside, and they finally figured out it was JLo when they saw her future next-ex-husband Alex Rodriguez loitering near the door. And once JLo had reapplied, security opened the bathroom to the general public again.

But, JLo and A-Rod, or as I call them, A-Hole, didn’t have security just for pee breaks; nope the team was also there to prevent them from being around regular people.

And regular people everywhere say, Thank you.
Miley Cyrus, who gave up being Hannah Montana to be a Twerking, tongue-sucking, pot smoking nudist, has now decided to be more like Hannah Montana again because no one is interested in Miley Cyrus any more. And so how does she drum up gossip for her newest, oldest, incarnation? She tells stories that don’t make a lot of sense.

Cyrus—wait, isn’t that her Dad’s name now?—recently announced that her oldest and dearest friend in the world is Katy Perry, and that it started after Perry Katy wrote I Kissed A Girl about Miley. And, not only was the song about Miley, but it also jumpstarted her do whatever it takes to get noticed addiction.
“She’s been a friend of mine for a really long time. We were actually just realizing the other day that next year, we’ll have been friends for 10 years. I think that’s my friend that I’ve known the longest. Which is really, really weird. When [Perry] came out with I Kissed a Girl, I was doing the Hannah Montana movie, and I heard her on the radio. They said, ‘Who did you write that about?’ She said me! I screamed and started freaking out, and then she asked me to go to the VMAs with her. That’s when I started doing my whole VMA controversy. I was like, ‘I’ll go with Katy Perry!’ So that’s how we met and we just stayed friends.” 
Wait. You met after she said she wrote the song about you? So, then, you weren’t the girl she actually kissed and liked it?

Huh? I think all that weed has affected Miley’s memory and storytelling ability and self-importance because Katy Perry herself says the song was about Scarlett Johansson:
“I was with my boyfriend at the time, and I said to him, ‘I’m not going to lie: If Scarlett Johansson walked into the room and wanted to make out with me, I would make out with her. I hope you’re okay with that?'”
To be fair, Miley and Katy have kissed; but it was during Miley’s Look At Me phase, long after the song was written.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Have A Smile ... On Ivanka

Ivanka _____ “wrote” a book. I put quotation marks around wrote, like I do when I say she’s a “jewelry designer”, or a “fashion designer”, or a “political strategist”, or “climate change expert” or “working mother.” You know, cuz it #FakeNews.

Clearly, someone wrote a book and Ivanka slapped a label—perhaps one made in China by a woman making $62 a week as with her “fashion” line—with her name on it, but, karma is a bitch, and karma is, many times, a highlarious bitch.

At Barnes & Noble stores people are having a hard time finding her book, and when they do, they usually find a discount sticker on it. The discounts are hilarious as new books almost never receive them unless they are not selling and B&N wants them gone or ... Someone who works at B&N, and who has access to the discount stickers, is messing with us.

But the best laugh at Ivanka’s expense happen when you come across a display for Ivanka’s “book” and hers is gone, replaced by books like, ahem ...
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Toxic Parents
Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Disarming the Narcissist
Children of the Self Absorbed.

And one of the best things, besides the jokes and the discounts is one review that calls Ivanka’s “book” “‘vapid’ at worst, ‘earnest’ at best, and ‘a strawberry milkshake of inspirational quotes.'”

Thanks for the laugh, Ivanka.

I Didn't Say It ...

_____, on Stephen Colbert, who referred to _____’s mouth as Putin’s cock-holster:

“You see a no-talent guy like Colbert. There’s nothing funny about what he says. And what he says is filthy. And you have kids watching. And it only builds up my base. It only helps me, people like him. The guy was dying. By the way they were going to take him off television, then he started attacking me and he started doing better. But his show was dying.”

This from the guy who said he just walks up to women and “grabs ‘em by the pussy” because he’s rich and can get away with it.
So, which is worse, a comic who says filthy things for a laugh, or a president who said filthy things because he’s a misogynistic fuck-monkey?
PS That’s a rhetorical question.
Kellyanne Conway, on Anderson Cooper’s sexist eyeroll:

“Could you imagine … having a male anchor on the network roll eyes at Hillary Clinton [or at] a female spokesperson for President Obama or President Bill Clinton? I think not.”

Perhaps not, Kelly, but those woemn aren’t considered liars and hacks.
Bolwing Green.
Fake news.
Alternative facts.
I’m surprised Anderson’s eyes didn’t roll out of his head with the sh*t you spew.
John McCain, Republican Senator, ron reports that _____ asked former FBI Director James Comey to halt the bureau’s investigation into Michael Flynn:

“I think we’ve seen this movie before. I think it appears at a point where it’s of Watergate size and scale … the shoes continue to drop, and every couple days there’s a new aspect ... It’s not going to be over until every aspect of it is thoroughly examined and the American people make a judgment. And the longer you delay, the longer it’s going to last.”

There, he said it: Watergate.
And he’s right, the more _____ stalls and lies, the more people will dig, and the more they dig, the more corruption and collusion they’ll find.
David BrooksNew York Times columnist, on _____:

“At base, Trump is an infantalist. There are three tasks that most mature adults have sort of figured out by the time they hit 25. Trump has mastered none of them. Immaturity is becoming the dominant note of his presidency, lack of self-control his leitmotif.”

Sandra Lee, TV chef, on Paul Ryan, whom she was asked to do a cooking segment with on Fox & Friends ... until he left:

“At first what occurred to me is that we are both from Wisconsin. And I realized he is the one thing from Wisconsin that I cannot tolerate or stomach. I just do not stand for anything he stands for. I was so angry I was shaking, and I never had that experience before in my life or on any show. I love ‘Fox & Friends.’ That was the only time that happened to me. I do not get angry for too long. He left the set, and I was back to Sandra Lee. I have been really surprised about the reaction ... I think it is because I have never stated my opinion. Just because I chose not to state my opinion does not mean I do not have one. When it comes to health care or childhood hunger issues, I am not going to be quiet, tolerant or silent about my experiences or my convictions.”

She should’a set him on fire.
Okay, maybe not, but she could’a poured hot grease on him ... accidentally.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Random Musings

After a lovely weekend, we are getting ready to leave the house for work; well, Carlos for work, and me for a visit to my hunky dentist Dr. Will. Carlos had made the Cafe con Leche, we’d had breakfast, watched the news, bitched about _____, and I went into the bathroom to make myself purty for the doctor.

When I come out, I see that Carlos has made the bed, and is sitting on the end of it. He says:
“Don’t panic. I think you need to take me to the hospital.”
First off, Don’t panic? Have we met? He knows the phrase ‘don’t panic’ sends me into a panic,  especially when the word hospital follows. I am normally a happy-go-lucky gay, but when I hear Don’t panic, my mind goes immediately to death and destruction.

At any rate, I asked what was wrong, and he tells me that he had a moment some three days earlier where he’d had to stop what he was doing—he was hoisting some yard refuse into the back of a friend’s truck—because he couldn’t catch his breath. And all.weekend.long he was short of breath and felt a pressure on his chest. All.Weekend.Long. I could have killed him for that alone.

So, off we go to the Smallville Hospital—yes, our small town has its own very good hospital—and the emergency room. He is seen almost right away and explains to nurses and doctors about his shortness of breath and his pressure. Any surgeries, they ask. He tells them he had his appendix removed some four, maybe five years ago, but looks at me because I’m better with dates.
“It was sixteen years ago.”
Oy! That man and dates. But again I digress ... they do blood-work and an EKG and a chest x-ray in the ER and all look very good. But they want him overnight to do more tests, like an echogram and a stress test.

I’m feeling relieved at the news, but still ... me, death, destruction. Carlos gets taken upstairs to a room and we sit and visit and he makes his phone calls, telling friends he’s in the hospital and No, it’s not for a face lift.

The next day he does the echogram and his cardiac doctor tells him they rarely see a perfect echogram but his is near perfect; the stress test is next—they either make you run on a treadmill, or they just stimulate the heart to mimic running. He does all that and then it’s wait and wait and wait.

Finally, at the end of the day those results come back and everything is good and normal, or Carlos’s normal, and he can come home.

We’ll see his primary care doctor next week for a follow-up, but it does appear that it was only a muscle pull or something that caused shortness of breath and pressure on the chest.

Now, I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but that was my diagnosis from the jump ... well, after I stopped panicking, so why he didn’t listen to me ... oh, yeah, better safe than sorry.

Anyway, life is back to being good.
Now, on something just odd ...

Richard Patterson, 65, of Margate, Florida, above, is accused of second-degree murder in the choking death of his girlfriend, Francisca Marquinez, 60.

At his trial, Patterson would like the jury to see the weapon with which he ALLEGEDLY choked his girlfriend.


Patterson’s attorney claims his client accidentally choked Marquinez while she was performing oral sex, and to prove it, they would like Patterson to show his penis to the jury, saying its size is relevant.

The prosecutor had all sorts of questions:
“Is it going to be erect, or is it going to be flaccid?”
I would think erect because Patterson may be a grower not a shower. And, to be blunt, erect is how this all happened. The prosecutor also wondered how it would be presented to the jury.
“Do we do it in the back?”
Excuse me? Oh, my mind went there.
“Do we do it in open court?”
Yes, and have the court open wide .... ALLEGEDLY.
One nurse in the ER with Carlos this week heard his accent and asked where he is from; to be fair, his accent is part Spanish and part something else because even Latino people wonder where he’s from.

He told her, Mexico, and she said he was a long way from there; and then she looked at me and said,
“And you don’t sound like you’re from Smallville either.”
I told her I was from California, and she asked how Carlos and I ended up here from Mexico and the West Coast; I replied
“Witness protection.”
And then just smiled.
At the U.S. Coast Guard Academy graduation ceremony yesterday, presented _____  with a ceremonial sword and, jokingly[?], told _____ to “use that on the press, sir.”

Note to both Kelly, left, and _____, equal asshats:

Have you never heard the old saying that the pen is mightier than the sword?

Yeah, a pen will bring down this White House and no
t one sword can stop it. The pen s will work overtime until every last one of these asshats are gone from office, like ....
House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy—a Republican, because of course, and one of _____’s  closest allies in Congress—who told Paul Ryan, a month before _____ clinched the Republican nomination that _____ could be the beneficiary of payments from Vladimir Putin:
“There’s two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and _____.”
Rohrabacher is a Republican, because of course, Congressperson from California, who is also a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.

And when Ryan heard these words from McCarthy he instantly stopped the conversation from going further, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

McCarthy and Ryan had just come from separate talks with Ukrainian Prime Minister Volodymyr Groysman, who had described a Kremlin tactic of financing populist politicians to undercut Eastern European democratic institutions.

So, there you have it, two more GOP goose-steppers putting their party before their country; demanding silence and looking the other way. Every one of these enablers and traitors needs to be voted out of Congress.

Well, every week since January we’ve heard tale of it being _____’s Worst Week Ever but clearly this week, with him giving confidential information to the Russians and the news that he tried to get former FBI director James Comey to stop investigating Michael “Lock her up” Flynn, is the worst so far ... especially with these new polls:

One shows that, for the first time, more voters—48%—support impeaching _____ versus 44% who are idiots. Just 43% of those polled think _____ will serve a full term, while 45% think he won’t.

And, as with those folks in England who voted for the Brexit and then went, “Wait, what?” it appears that, by an eight-point margin, 49% to 41%, people wish Hillary Clinton was President.

Even better ... by a sixteen-point margin, 55% to 39%, they wish Barack Obama was still in office instead of Trump.

Cue Tweet Storm .
We watched Bad Moms the other night and it was better than I thought, though it did veer wildly from sweet and lovely to F-bombs and dick jokes. One thing it did have going for it was Jay Hernandez as the Hot Guy. He was the Hot Guy.

Also, while I don’t watch Dancing With The Stars—because, really, dancing? Stars?—I did cruise by the channel Monday night and saw one Rashad Jennings, apparently a football player of some sort, dance ... shirtless.

And, yeah, hot.
Well, _____ supporter, soap actor, and recent Chippendale dancer, Antonia Sabato Jr, has announced he might want to run for office.

His estranged wife, though, has announced Sabato is a drug addict and an adulterer.

So, yeah, he’s running as a Republican.
Sitting with Carlos in his hospital room, I kept seeing nurses and orderlies pushing the meal carts up and down the hallway.

I think they should do like flight attendants and have a drink cart for those people sitting with the patients.

I mean, I could’a used a margarita at several points during the last couple of days.
On Mother’s Day, Paul Ryan stepped out of Hell to pose with his Mother and Tweet this ridiculousness:

Luckily, David Frum, former G. W. Bush speechwriter, is, while still a Republican is also part of The Resistance, and so he trolled Paul Ryan for being the hypocrite that he is: