I Ain't One To Gossip But ... First ...

JP is back to blogging, as he says, tentatively. If you never read him before at his old blog, try stopping in at Still Me: the same just different. His take on the world and people and food, from his patch of earth in the UK, is lovely and wonderful and thought-provoking and beautifully written.

Stop in, read, and say Hello!

Damn, why couldn’t I have had a front row seat??

Idris Elba appeared at the Brit Awards this past week, looking rock-n-roll smooth in a bright pink Gucci bomber jacket and black jeans, but sharp-eyed viewers noticed that his zipper was open on his pants.

Sadly, when Adele came onstage to accept her award, Idris Elba held the cue cards in front of his groin in an attempt to cover his embarrassment, and Twitter went wild:

“Someone needs to tell Idris Elba to close the front door.”

“Why the hell are people complaining that Idris Elba’s fly was open at The Brits? They’re acting like that’s not the best possible outcome.”

Actually, again, the best possible outcome would be me sitting front row center and then bounding onstage to hold Idris’, um, cue cards.

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On the opposite end of that conversation, is the fact that Nelly was trending on social media this week because he, ahem “accidentally” posted a video of himself getting a blowjob to Instagram.

Well, we guess it was Nelly, because it was just his dick in the scene while the woman’s face was on full display. But, still, Nelly claimed his dick, which leads most folks to wonder, ‘How does one accidentally post a video to Instagram, unless the accidentally part is just a front because, really, who the fuck is Nelly and how thirsty is he?

Also, the post comes the same week that Nelly saw Madonna’s scantily clad Instagram photo from just last week and said: 

“Some things should be covered up!”

And other things don’t ever need to be seen.

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I’m beginning to think we change Kanye’s name to Karen.

While he’s spent recent weeks going after ex-wife Kim Kardastrophe and Kim’s “boyfriend of the moment” Pete Davidson, he’s taken some time off to go after … Billie Eilish.

Kanye Karen is demanding that Billie apologize to Travis Scott over some recent remarks she made disparaging the rapper. And if Billie doesn’t make the apology, then Kanye Karen will not perform at Coachella. :::foot stomp::: But the trouble with this is that Billie Eilish never said a thing about Travis Scott. See, the incident that has Kanye’s granny pants in a snit happened last weekend in Atlanta during her Happier Than Ever The World Tour. In the middle of the show, Billie stopped performing to check on a fan who seemed to be having issues. Billie asked to give the fan a little room and then told the audience:'

"Relax, relax, it’s OK. We’re taking care of our people.”

Well, clearly that was a dig at Travis Scott who recently let fans get trampled and die while he kept performing, right? At least it was in the mind of Kanye Karen who stepped into the middle of what was nothing and tried to make it something. Karen posted a picture of a headline claiming that Billie “dissed” Travis, and wrote his ultimatum in ALL CAPS because he’s serious:

COME ON BILLIE WE LOVE YOU PLEASE APOLOGIZE TO TRAV AND TO THE FAMILIES OF THE PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR LIVES NO ONE INTENDED THIS TO HAPPEN TRAV DIDN’T HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING WHEN HE WAS ON STAGE AND WAS VERY HURT BY WHAT HAPPENED AND YES TRAV WILL BE WITH ME AT COACHELLA BUT NOW I NEED BILLIE TO APOLOGIZE BEFORE I PERFORM

All caps and not one single sign of punctuation. Stay in school, kids and stay on your meds. But, Billie, clearly the adult in this story, popped into Kanye’s comments and stated the obvious:

“Literally never said a thing about Travis. Was just helping a fan.”

It looks like Billie will not be doing an Apology Tour and that Kanye Karen will, still perform at Coachella because he’s just a drama queen looking to stay relevantly irrelevant.

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And speaking of thirsty celebrities, JLo and highly likely soon-to-be ex-fiancé Ben Affleck appeared on the red carpet at JLo’s new film, Marry Me, and the bitch was wearing a wedding dress from Giambattista Valli’s “Love” collection. She even dressed Ben up as a groom. I'm stunned she didn't have a minister out there to perform the ceremony.

Seriously, how thirsty is she?

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Bobservations

Monday morning I walked into our home office and Carlos said to me:

“You know what I want for my birthday? A new pair of pants like these.”

I looked at his pants and countered with:

“You know what I want for my birthday? You, not telling me what to get for your birthday in 12 weeks, and instead of that you talking about my birthday in two days.”

That’s my way of saying it’s my birthday today and we will be gone for the weekend.

I will return on Monday!

And for those who don’t see the hypocrisy, know that this president and not the former guy, called that reporter the very same day and apologized for what he said.

Something Thing 45 has never done.

PS  Joe calling Doocey that was an early birthday gift for me, I think!

If you've seen No Time to Die, you know Daniel Craig is not returning to the role. And that means the search is on to find the next 007, and according to Bond producer Barbara Broccoli, Idris Elba's name is firmly in the hat.

His name should be on the script. Okay? Give that to me for my birthday!

Sarah Palin, who just last week said she would take the COVID vaccine over, ahem, her “dead body” has tested positive for the virus.

Dreams do come true … for my birthday.

I have been watching Showtime’s Billions since it premiered because it features some really great actors, notably one Paul Giamatti who plays Chuck Rhodes. Last season, Rhodes’ nemesis Bobby Axelrod, played by Damien Lewis, left the show, and was replaced by Corey Stoll.

Stoll and his smirk and his wink-and-a-nod performance, along with his fabulously bald head, float my boat.

That’s it; that’s the post. Corey Stoll with icing on his bald head for me to lick off.

Sure it’s Camden, and this is a bit much, but I think it screams It’s My Birthday!! ! And I’m a big ol homo!!

Last week I bought a chicken to make sandwiches and, well, it doesn’t. It just shits all over the floor.

What am I doing wrong? I mean, it’s my birthday!!

The executive committee of the Arizona Democratic Party [ADP] formally censured U.S. Senator Kyrsten Sinema over her vote against changing rules in the chamber to steer through voting rights legislation.

Now it’s up to the people of Arizona to vote her ass from office and send her back to obscurity. Wouldn’t that make a lovely birthday gift?

In what is surely a rip-off of Weekend At Bernie’s, this week two men in Ireland, brought a dead man into a post office in an attempt to collect his pension.

The deceased man was propped up by two other men, which clearly alerted the staff who contacted emergency services and police rushed to the scene.

Life imitates art … and gives me a good laugh … for my birthday.

This is Will Willets, a model represented by Silver Fox Management. His ideal holiday is lying in a hammock with a margarita on a Mexican beach … now that’s a birthday present … but the question is: Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

At work this week—we are now all officially working from home—my boss was trying to figure out staffing; there were some who refused to come in, some who wanted to come in, some who couldn’t.

So, he was asking who wanted to work and who wanted to stay home and I suggested that maybe Racist Co-worker work from home:

Me: I think she has a pre-existing condition.

My boss: She does? What is it?

Me: No one likes her.

My boss loves me.

Last week a federal judge in Charleston has blocked South Carolina’s Department of Education [SCDE] from enforcing a sex education statute that discriminated against the LGBTQ+ community and other protected classes of citizens.

The statute would have banned any and all discussions of so-called “alternative” lifestyles. In addition Judge Norton  ordered SC superintendent of education Molly Spearman to circulate a memo to local superintendents across the state providing them with a copy of the decree and informing them that sex education curricula should be “designed and implemented without regard” to the offending statute.

South Carolina. Dragged into 2020.

Idris Elba, My-Husband-In-My-Head has tested positive for coronavirus:

“I feel ok, I have no symptoms so far but have been isolated since I found out about my possible exposure to the virus. Stay home people and be pragmatic. I will keep you updated on how I’m doing. No panic.”

This proves that warmer weather won’t kill the virus, because Idris is the hottest man on Earth, and he got it.

Sidenote: I have messaged Idris about coming to Smallville and letting me take care of him. Oh, and tend to his needs for the virus, too.

Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving place.

Mar-a-Lago resort won’t be open to the public for a while as it undergoes a deep cleaning after several guests of _____ tested positive for the coronavirus.

It should have been closed years ago because, as a ______, property you know it’s infested with bed bugs, rapists, con artists and grifters.

And, true story, Mar-a-lago tested positive for coronavirus after hosting a lavish birthday party for Junior’s 100% plastic mistress Kimberly Guilfoyle.

But, and this is about con artists and grifters. Did Junior pay for Botox Barbie’s Birthday Bash?

Nope; when it came to picking up the tab, Daddy’s supporters paid, because the _____’s pay for nothing. Welfare family.

I only post this, not because I believe it, but because I love the idea of having to deny it …

Oprah took to Twitter to dispel reports that she had been arrested for sex trafficking after a raid at her Boca Raton home.

Seriously. Orpah had to say:

‘I haven’t been arrested for sex trafficking.’

Wow.

Dan Lipinski, the only House Democrat who refused to sponsor the Equality Act, supported the Defense of Marriage Act and voted against marriage equality and LGBTQ non-discrimination bills, and opposed a woman’s right to choose, was beaten by Marie Newman.

Bye hater.

In these trying times, we look to our leaders to keep us clam, to show us the way, to, well, in the case of Prime Minister of Spain, Pedro Sánchez Pérez-Castejón, and French President, Emmanuel Macron, and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, to get my motor running while I self-isolate.

I’d like to limit my social distancing with these three. Just sayin’.

Bobservations

I don’t have a Carlos story this week, really, because we are dealing with some health issues for his parents. Things in Mexico City are kind of a mess and the family there is trying to help his mother and father; Carlos, for his part, will be given Power of Attorney, but in Mexico, nothing is ever easy.

We have an appointment with the Mexican Consulate in North Carolina for obtaining the Power of Attorney, but just learned that he’ll need two Powers of Attorney, one for the sale of property, houses and cars etc., and the other for making healthcare decisions. And to get both Powers we need two separate appointments at the Consulate and will have to drive to Raleigh to get things done.

Not a huge schlep but … I overheard Carlos on the phone, trying to make the appointments, and he was telling the person that we live six hours away and don’t want to make two trips, and could we get both appointments the same day.

Yes, we can. Carlos was thrilled and came out to tell me that our first appointment will be May 31st at 8:15AM! But then I reminded him that he told the woman we live six hours away, and unless we were going up the day before we’d have leave Smallville at around 2AM.

That was when he freaked, and squawked and railed, until I told him it was only about a three-hour drive …we’ll still have to leave around 5AM, but we should get both done in the same day, and really, that’s all that matters.

Still, the look on his face when he thought we’d have to leave at 2AM was kinda worth it.

I don’t usually like to share horrible news, heartbreaking news, gut-wrenching news, but if I keep this in, it might just kill me.

Idris.

Elba.

Is.

Married.

And NOT to me! Idris married Sabrina Dhowre last weekend in Marrakesh.

I would have married him in Marrakesh. Budapest. Muncie.

My heart will go on, cracks and all.

Well, someone is desperate to keep their job.

Brad Parscale, _____’s 2020 campaign manager, anticipates the re-election bid will cost at least $1 billion.

It costs that much to keep a racist in office.

On the Woman’s Right to Choose front, the Kansas Supreme Court ruled that the state’s Constitution protects a woman’s right to an abortion.

And that ruling now stands as the law of the land in Kansas with no path for an appeal, making abortion legal in Kansas even if Roe v. Wade is ever reversed by the U.S. Supreme Court.

Now, if only other states could be like Kansas.

Many Americans were shocked by their tax bills this month, but the new GOP Tax Scam really went after our nation's Gold Star families, who saw the taxes owed on their survivor benefits skyrocket.

Theresa Jones has been a single mother to Anthony and Hunter for almost six years since her husband Landon died Operation Enduring Freedom in 2013.

It's been a challenge for Jones, especially financially, but they’ve been able to stay afloat because of the survivor benefits they received … until now.

While her sons each received about $15,000 in survivor benefits last year, Theresa  Jones was hit with a tax bill of $5,400 for them, up from $1,100 from the previous year.

Because a surviving spouse can't receive both Veteran Affairs and Defense Department benefits simultaneously in full, Gold Star parents often sign the taxable DOD benefits over to their children. But the new GOP Tax Scam puts the children of dead veterans into a bracket known as the "kiddie tax" which sits at 37%, much higher than their previous tax rate.

The Treasury Department says it is "evaluating what can be done to solve this issue" but let’s be clear, while the GOP and the Hair Furor love to send men and women to war, when our veterans return home, or goddess forbid, never come home, this country, this government, this administration screws them.

Ain’t that America.

One of my favorite actors,  Judith Light has been named the 2019 recipient of the Tony Awards' honorary Isabelle Stevenson Award.

Light, a Tony winner herself for performances in both The Assembled Parties and Other Desert Cities, will be presented the humanitarian honor in recognition of her advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights and in the fight against HIV/AIDS, from her early involvement in the AIDS Memorial Quilt in the '80s to partaking in the 100-mile African AIDS Trek in 2002 to her continued efforts with such groups as Broadway Cares/Equity Fight AIDS, GLAAD, and LGBT community centers around the country .

"The HIV/AIDS and LGBTQ+ communities are inspirations and demonstrations of how to be and live in the world; courageous, honorable, and uplifting. They inspire me and it is my privilege to be of service to them. I am humbled by this recognition from my theater family, whom I so respect, honor, and love."—Judith Light

Love her, and no one deserves the recognition more.

… is MSNBC guest Chandelle Summer who says that because Pete Buttigieg kissed his husband—a loving gesture made by heterosexual candidates nearly every single time they appear with their spouses—he was making his sexual orientation “an issue” :

“Clearly Pete Buttigieg has made his gayness an issue in this campaign. He’s brought his husband up on stage. They shared a kiss during his announcement. … I think he made it a huge issue. He talked about his spouse, Chasten, and the fact that they were married. This is not a typical candidate. He made it an issue. He could have ignored it. He could have said nothing. And people would speculate about it. But he made it an issue.”

His gayness, and stop with the ridiculousness of that word already, isn’t an issue. Like any other candidate he introduced his husband and gave him a quick kiss.

It’s called ‘love,’ Chandelle, and maybe when you find it, you’ll understand it when you see it.

Sorry, not sorry, Jussie Smollett.

While  Empire will be returning to FOX for a sixth season Jussie Smollett will not, at least as things stand right now, be appearing on the show.

You made your bed ….

I have been watching A Discovery of Witches on BBC America because I love all things witch and vampire and demon, and this one takes the cake.

It also has some Hot Men and I do love me some of those, too, like … clockwise … Daniel Ezra, who plays Nathaniel Wilson, one of the demons; and David Newman, who is Stephen Proctor; also, Edward Bluemel plays Marcus Whitmore, bloodsucker; and lastly, Gregg Chillin, who plays swarthy vampire Domenico Michele.

Huh, maybe it’s just the vampires I love?

Bobservations

Last night, lying in bed, getting ready to go to sleep, I told Carlos about that tweet up there. I literally read it to him from memory and then laughed; but Carlos didn’t get it and actually said to me:

“Oh, because her sister’s a lesbian?”

“What?”

“I don’t get it.”

So, I explained again about the election in Kansas and how it swung Democratic and then Ann Coulter Tweeted that and Carlos still didn’t get it. So, I said:

“In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy’s house gets picked up by a tornado and taken to Oz where it falls on the Wicked Witch of the East and kills her. Then the Wicked Witch of the West goes after Dorothy. The person who wrote the Tweet is joking that Coulter is the Witch of the West and that she hates Kansas after the election or because Dorothy’s house fell on her sister.”

And Carlos actually said to me:

“I don’t remember that part in the movie.”

I screamed into my pillow so as not to disturb the neighbors, though I’m sure they’ve heard it before:

“That’s the whole movie. The whole movie is about the Wicked Witch of the West going after Dorothy because she ‘killed’ the Witch’s sister and took the ruby slippers and Dorothy wanting to get home!!”

“I’ll have to watch it again.”

“And I’ll have to call HOMO HQ and have your gay card rescinded because you clearly don’t get a Wizard of Oz reference.”

Oy.

Marco Rubio mocked critics of _____’s attack on birthright citizenship when he Tweeted:

“History will remember this as the week liberal politicians & legal ‘scholars’ transformed into constitution originalists ...well at least as it relates to the 14th Amendment.”

Rubio is a f**king hypocrite. He was born in 1971 but his parents did not become citizens until 1975, so maybe he ought to put his money where his idiotic mouth is and renounce his US citizenship.

I mean, it’s only right; right Little Marco?

Last week, whilst watching American Horror Story, there was a scene where the son of Satan, Michael, was hallucinating, trying to communicate with his daddy, the Devil. One of his hallucinations was an angel … that man up there, swaddled in a wee diaper, though wearing huge angel wings.

As the image flashed across the screen, I said to Carlos:

“If that’s what angels look like, I’m’a have to start being nicer.”

I could find that picture, with the full angel drag, but that picture below is of the actor, Garrett Westton, who played the angel.

I’m’a have to be really good.

Oh my …Norman Goldwasser, a practitioner of “gay conversion” therapy has been outed as a user of Manhunt and BearNation.

Goldwasser, an Orthodox Jewish therapist at Horizon Psychological Services, who compares homosexuality to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and misleads them by claiming their sexual orientation can be changed with his special brand of … ahem … therapy, was nailed soliciting sexual partners on Manhunt and Bear Nation, using the profile “Hotnhairy72”.

He can’t cure people of The Gay anymore than he can stop himself from hooking up with randos for a quick suck and f**k.

Just sayin’.

I missed this one yesterday, but Pennsylvanians elected Malcolm Kenyatta to its House making him the first out gay black man to elected to that state’s legislature.

Brian Sims, below, was also re-elected, doubling the LGBTQ representation there.

Bravo, gentlemen, bravo!

Finally, People Magazine got it right because this year’s Sexiest Man Alive is, and yes, I’ll say it, My-Husband-In-My-Head, Idris Elba.

I think, after all these years,  People figured out what 'sexy' means.

In Self-Loathing Gay News, gay billionaire Peter Thiel has announced he will support _____’s reelection campaign. He $1.25 million to the _____ campaign in the 2016 because he was confident _____ would expand and not restrict LGBT rights as president.

Yeah, that happened, so clearly Thiel is more about making his coins than working to help the LGBTQ community, which, under _____, is slowly being figuratively and literally erased.

Kiss my ass.

We’re kind of Hot Man-centric today …not that there’s anything wrong with that, so here’s a couple more…

Outlander returned this week, with the dashing, and often nude, Sam Heughan, but this isn’t about him; it’s about a river pirate, Stephen Bonnet. He’s evil, cruel, mean and, yes, kinda cute; he also piqued my interest several years back playing a valet on Downton Abby.

Either way, helping the elite get dressed or robbing people at gunpoint, he’s hot.

And then there’s Paul Adelstein who appears on a comedy I feel Bad. The show is kinda bad, though there are hopeful glimmers of some irreverent humor that could be amped up, but this isn’t about that.

It’s something about Paul Adelstein that I just find sexy as Hell; I can’t explain it, but it’s spectacular.

Just sayin’.