Snarky Thoughts

As if California doesn’t have a full court docket already, between the one-percenters and their thirst for watering their massive lawns in a drought, and Erika Girardi being sued again and again by almost everyone, Dancing With The Stars dancer, Cheryl Burke thought it would be the perfect time to take her ex-husband, Matthew Lawrence, to court and sue over custody of their French Bulldog, Ysabella.

My Thought: One-percenters are dumb.

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Rumor has it That Woman spent nearly $1,000 on edibles and got so high with daughter Khloé Kardastrophe and boyfriend caregiver Corey Gamble that she began playing peek-a-boo behind her napkin.

My Thought: The headline said That Woman Gets Stoned and it was the wrong kind of stoning for me.

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The ongoing saga of Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen‘s crumbling marriage can now be solved: it’s over. After pleading with her ego-centric husband for years to quit football and stay home with the family, Brady agreed and retired, and then promptly unretired, and now Gisele has hired a divorce lawyer and Tom is pissy.

My Thought: Check your giant ego at the door and realize you have a wife and children who might like to see you.

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Since she took Katy Perry off her Hate List, Taylor Swift has a lot of free time on her hands so what’s a tacky, second-rate “singer” songwriter to do? Go back and reignite an old feud from 2013 with Kanye West, with a side of Kim Kardastrophe, and issue a diss record top clap back ten years.

My Thought: Taylor? Honey? You’re a grown ass woman, not a sophomore in high school, so please act like it and move on. IT’S BEEN ALMOST TEN YEARS!!!!

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The theme for the 2023 Met Gala has been announced—c’mon, you know you care—and it’s a doozy: Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty.

My Thought: I imagine Anna Wintour, since she has the power, will have Lagerfeld’s body exhumed and place him front and center and no one will notice since, even alive, he looked like a corpse.

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Sharon Osbourne, the former “The Talk” co-host who was, agrees with Kanye West about Black Lives Matter being a “scam” and said she gave “$900,000 to [BLM] and like my money back please.”

My Thought: For someone who was fired from “The Talk” for looking and sounding like a racist, Sharon hasn’t learned her lesson.

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Snarky Thoughts

Apparently King Charles III has an issue with fountains pens leaking while he signs royal decrees and such. And when he had another incident where a fountain pen expressed its displeasure that Prince Harry was not allowed to wear his military uniform to the Queen’s vigil since he’s not a working royal anymore he really lost it.

My Thought: During a phone call to Camilla Parker Bowles, while he was married to Princess Diana, Prince Charles said he wished he could be a tampon so he could be inside Camilla Parker Bowles all the time, so clearly he knows all things that leak.

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This week GQ published an article about the growing popularity of leg lengthening surgery, claiming that more and more men are getting a “a radical and expensive surgery” that adds three to six inches to their height. Unfortunately, it requires having both of your femurs broken.

My Thoughts: Anyone seen Tiny Tom Cruise lately?

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When "Frasier," the "Cheers" spin-off, was confirmed, former “Cheers” Kirstie Alley called producer David Lee to say she wouldn't be on the show because she didn't believe in psychiatry as a Scientologist.

Lee replied, "I don't recall asking."

My Thought: Big mistake, Kirstie. Huge. Does anyone remember “Veronica’s Closet” or “Fat Actress” starring Alley? Uh huh.

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Is he trying to Out-Madge Madonna? Forty-seven-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio  is rumored to be dating 27-year-old model Gigi Hadid just weeks after breaking up with 25-year-old model Camila Morrone.

My Thought: Is he dating her or adopting her? And maybe he and Madge should share notes, you know, break up a young couple and she gets the boy and he gets the girl.

PS That’s Leo and his Nana, er, his Madonna … just friends because they’re both way too old for each other.

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This brings me joy … it appears Kim Kardastrophe had a rather awkward moment at New York Fashion Week’s Fendi show last Friday. Kimmy, who was seated next to the vile Sarah Jessica “Why The Long Face” Parker, stood and clapped as the show ended. And that’s when Anna Wintour came across the catwalk. Kimmy smiled and reached out her hand and Anna smiled and outstretched her arms … and hugged SJP.

My Thoughts: When I stop laughing I may have a thought on this, though I have a newfound love for Nuclear Wintour.

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Finally, a little talk on racism, and how it hurts all people, no matter your social standing or status in the world.

At one of the [too] many celebrations and viewings of Queen In A Box, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle held hands while leaving Westminster Hall, unlike King Charles III, Queen Consort Camilla, William and Kate Middleton, and some people went off:

“They’re part of the procession. Is it too much to expect them to walk in their line? even the horse could stay in their position for 20+ minutes walk. yet meghan [and] harry couldn’t keep the formation at least until they reach the door?”

Another argued that Markle had “no class,” writing:

“I see Meghan still couldn’t manage the whole service without holding on to Harry.”

Oddly enough, though, Harry and Meghan weren’t the only ones holding hands in the procession. Princess Anne’s daughter, Zara Tindall, and her husband, Mike, were also holding on to each other as they left Westminster and there was nary a word about their PDA.

My Thought: One of these things is not like the other and that’s why vile people spew their venom.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton were the ‘It Couple’ for a good long time until Bennifer 2.OMFG showed up, so how does the old ‘It’ stay relevant when a new ‘It’ comes to town?

If you’re a thirsty Gwen Stefani you Photoshop yourself over your new husband’s ex-wife in an old, old picture and share it on social media because nothing says thirsty like trying to erase an ex:

Oh, and you up the ante by getting yourself some shoes with your husband’s face on them:

Seriously.

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It was a year ago—goddess how time flies when racists and their store-bought wives are gone—that Melanie unveiled her raping of the White House Rose Garden:

There were ALLEGEDLY technical reasons why the Rose Garden had to be dug up … replacing cables …better drainage, but  Melania remade the garden in Thing 45 style … lifeless and all-white. No color; no more rose bushes from First Ladies; no more Jackie Kennedy’s crab-apple trees.

Well, historian Michael Beschloss pointed out that this month is the one-year anniversary of Melanie’s unwanted unveiling, and Melanie, in a secure room somewhere in a Mar-a-Lago basement, came for him … as “The Office of Melanie _____” Tweeted out:

“[Michael Beschloss] has proven his ignorance by showing a picture of the Rose Garden in its infancy. The Rose Garden is graced with a healthy & colorful blossoming of roses. His misleading information is dishonorable & he should never be trusted as a professional historian.”

I’m not sure what Melanie was trying to prove with this Tweet but she’s clearly incensed that her raping of the gardens is still an issue. And someone who’s had more plastic surgery than most is a little too thin-skinned.

I really don’t care [how upset she is] do U?

PS I recently saw a Tweet that said:

“Why does Melania always look like she’s trying to spot a lighthouse in a deep fog?”

Dying.

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Anna Wintour is as cold as they come, but it might be true that she can be thawed out with a wad of cash.

Anna pretends she’s a huge Kanye West fan. Now, maybe she isn’t any longer—after he went full-MAGA in 2016 and she’s all Icy Blue Dem—but at the start of Kanye’s fashion career … hold for laughter … Anna was a fan. She ALLEGEDLY liked his music too, hiring him to perform at various Vogue events.

Why? WHY??? Well, some say Wintour’s acceptance and promotion of Kanye within the fashion world was all about his work and connections—he went to Paris, he studied at the ateliers, he befriended Riccardo Tisci and other rising stars in the fashion world—but was it more? What if Anna’s Kanye-love was nothing more than a pay-to-play situation? Is Anna Wintour Kanye’s beck-and-call girl?

Rumor has it that Kanye West paid Anna Wintour $1million to be accepted in the fashion industry, according to the always dependable … hold for laughter … Janice Dickinson, who says Kanye “hired” Wintour to “get him on his feet” when he first launched that Yeezy clothing line. Anna’s spokesperson denied Janice’s claims, saying:

“There is no truth to this.”

I know, cuz it’s Janice, but still … how else do you explain Kanye and Anna?

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I like Demi Lovato. Good voice; political and socially aware … well, perhaps not socially. You see, when Lollapalooza happened over the weekend of July 29th to August 1st ,with over 170 performers on eight stages, and an estimated 100,000 people in attendance each day, Lovato—whose pronouns are they and theirs—took to their Instagram Stories and wrote:

“C’MON Y’ALL!!! Good morning from Lollapalooza. Yes this pic is real. THERE IS STILL A PANDEMIC HAPPENING!!!”

Nice, but … a week later, they threw up another Instagram story about Demi performing at the Sad Summer Festival 2021’s stop in Anaheim. Now, the crowds weren’t as large as Lollapaloser—not a typo—but it was still a crowded event in the midst of a year-long, and longer, pandemic, and Demi seemed fine with that.

I guess when they’re getting paid large crowds are okay.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

More Anna and Andre? Sure …

You probably know that Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour is about as cold and unfeeling as an actual rock, hence what Maddie calls her: Nuclear Wintour. And if you read this same blog last week you’ll know that Anna released an internal email to Vogue staff members last week, in which she acknowledged the lack of diversity at the magazine and tried such placating phrases as “we will do better” and “I value your voices” and “someone get my shoe carrier in here, my feet hurt.”

Okay, maybe I made that last one up, but former Vogue editor-at-large, André Leon Talley, who has written a book all about Anna, and a little bit about himself, and appeared on Sandra Bernhard’s SiriusXM show Sandyland to discuss Anna's statement. He claims that Samira Nasr, the newly appointed—and first black female—Editor-in-Chief of Vogue-rival Harper’s Bazaar, will affect Anna’s power base and that’s why she issued her Mea Culpa:

“The statement came out of a world of white privilege. I want to say one thing: Dame Anna Wintour is a colonial broad. She’s a colonial Dame … she’s part of an environment of colonialism. She is entitled and I do not think she will ever let anything get in the way of her white privilege. Own up to it, dear, all I’m asking for his human decency and kindness.”

There we be a real Nuclear Winter before Wintour owns up to that.

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I know Jeremy Piven was in Entourage but I remember him best when he appeared on Ellen, Ellen DeGeneres’ comedy about a girl names Ellen before she was a lesbian.

What I didn’t know about Piven was that he was ALLEGEDLY blackballed by Hollywood when he was accused of some #MeToo sexual perversity; he made a big show of taking, and passing a lie detector test, but his career has been less-than ever since.

As I said, I only remember him from the original Ellen show in the 1990s so …

Jeremy Piven today is offering his services—such as they are—to the public through Cameo. Yes, if you’re stuck at home during lockdown and have some extra cash on hand, say, oh I dunno, about $15,000, you can have a 10-minute Zoom call with Jeremy Piven.

Again, Jeremy who? Piven, whose ego knows no bounds because he’s not the only celeb selling their time, he just thinks his is worth more.

Lance Bass is charging $249 for recorded video or $1250 for Zoom Call. Sean Astin costs $295 for video or $599 live, while skating legend Tony Hawk is charges $200 for recorded  videos and $1,000 for live chat.

Just think, a few months back you could have had Tori Spelling for $95. Good thing you waited because I think she’s in the bargain bin for $19.95.

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In the middle of a pandemic how are our soap stars supposed to do those oh-so-sexy sex scenes? Well, one such show, The Bold and The Beautiful, which is set to go back into production next week, has a solution … they’ll be enlisting the help of the real-life partners of their actors for some kissing scenes and …wait for it … it’s epic … dolls for the sex scenes.

Barbie and Ken may have new careers.

Yes, The Bold and The Beautiful, the first US TV soap to start production, will enforce social distancing up to and including the social distancing of the actor’s nether regions. Bradley Bell, the executive producer, tried cutting out all the kissing scenes but it made the show awful.

Or, more awful. But fear not, the sex is back and here’s how it’s done … each actor in the sex scene will perform solo and then the two scenes will be spliced together; Bell explains:

“They’ll look like they’re nose to nose, in the throes of passion. But they’ll be shooting scenes all by themselves.”

It’s called the Masturbation Process? But for the sex they will enlist the aid of what Bell describes as “life-like blow up dolls that have been sitting around here for the past 15 years, that we’ve used for various other stories—[like] when people were presumed dead. We’re dusting off the dolls and putting new wigs and make-up on them and they’ll be featured in love scenes.”

Wow. Dust off the corpse of dead Aunt Sandy doll, slap a new wig on her and send her in, legs spread, heels to Jesus and mouth open …

Seriously.

UPDATE: BandB  was supposed to make its grand return to filming this week but … production was halted the first day of shooting to, ahem, beef up safety protocols.

Maybe one of those blowup dolls tested positive?

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I imagine Lindsay Lohan is hoping her rebooted career as actress/singer/high-class … I kid … hooker gets into gear because she has one more mouth to feed.

No, LiLo isn’t preggers! Mama Dina, who we last left fighting another DUI charge has become engaged to her internet boyfriend of six years, whom she hasn’t even met yet!

Yes, Jesse Nadler, Dina’s online boyfriend slipped a virtual ring on it even though the two have yet to set actual eyes on one another. And then, to make it Social Media Official™ he mailed her the ring!

Nadler says he sent Dina the ring through the mail because they’re unable to travel due to coronavirus. He’s in California caring for his ailing mother while she’s on Long Island nursing a box of Chardonnay.

And one wonders how Lindsay got so effed up? This is why:

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I guess when the nice lady gets pushed, she suggests maybe she should change.

After her season of discontent—a Twitter user urged people to post nasty stories about her and then she did her show from home and compared it to being in prison—Ellen DeGeneres is trying hard to shove her image back to likability, and stepped in it badly when she tried to show compassion for the murder of George Floyd by tossing a Palinesque word salad Tweet:

“For things to change, things must change.” 

And when the backlash ensued, Ellen deleted that idiotic fluff Tweet and said she will do and say more to help the Black Lives Matter movement and become a more useful ally:

“I stand with the protestors who are exercising their rights and I want to be an ally fighting for change. As a white person, I don’t always know what to say. I think right now white people have to just sit in our discomfort and we have to admit there’s a lot we don’t know about black people’s lives and about a black person’s experience. There is horrible injustice towards black people that has been ignored for far too long. I like to think that I’m doing my best, but I think it’s time that we have to look at ourselves and we have to say we have not done enough. I want to learn how to be a better person, how to do better. I was the dancing lady for a little while and now I want to help educate my audience. I want to educate myself.”

Nice Ellen, but you forgot you’re a rich white person, so that makes you less like even white people in this country. You at a protest would probably get an escort out of the march, while if I was at the same protest I might be bludgeoned by the police.

What I’m  saying, El, is less talk, and more action. Words are meaningless unless you actually do something.

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Even though Lori Loughlin pleaded guilty to being a horrible mother trying to bribe her kid’s way into a good college, she’s not giving up on coming back to TV …as an actress and not a defendant.

Lori and her husband Mossimo Giannulli finally pleaded guilty for their involvement in the College Admissions Scandal, in which they paid $500,000 to Rick Singer to get their nearly illiterate daughters. Lori took a plea of two months in prison, while Mossimo agreed to five, and if a judge signs off on the plea deal, Lori must pay a $150,000 fine, do two years of supervised release, and 100 hours of community service, while Mossimo must pay $250,000, serve two years of supervised release, and complete 250 hours of community service.

But after that Lori wants to get back to acting. I think a good place to start would be Lori Loughlin “acting” like she felt remorse for being a terrible parent, a horrible human being, and a despicable self-entitled ass.

But that’s just me.

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After Faith Stowers called out the racism she experienced while working Vanderpump Rules, Bravo was forced to take action and fired four cast members over a plethora of racist behavior and tweets and stupid, stupid comments.

Gone are longtime reality show idiots Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute, along with newcomers Max Boyens, and Brett Caprioni. Kristen and Stassi were the original members called out—Stassi had a long and recorded history of racist talk—but Max and Brett faced backlash for their own racism-is-funny-until-I-get-caught-and-then-I-havepretend-remorse tweets earlier in the season of the show.

Faith said she felt “vindicated” by the action, but it seems she’s not done trying to clean house; she also wants VPR’s manwhore, Jax Taylor, fired , too:

“I didn’t even know the depth of the crazy things that they were saying [but] I got DMs from other shows, from other females on other shows saying that Mr. Taylor had said some crazy things to them that were racial. So, I think he gets a pat on the back a lot. But I think that if you’re going to do it for [four] people, they should do it for some other people as well.”

Billie Lee, who used to appear on VPR, has already called for Taylor’s firing saying that he refused to work with her because she’s trans.

So, racist and transphobic, a manwhore, and a basic douchebag; not all fireable offenses but …

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Last week Justin Bieber crapped out a statement in which he apologized co-opting black culture as his own, um, musical style. But is that the only time Justin used the black community to push himself ahead?

Not according to one Lil Twist, AKA Christopher Lynn Moore, who was a member of Bieber‘s posse ten years back. This week, Twist revealed that while he was rolling with The Biebs, he was used by Justin’s management team to take the fall for drug charges.

Appearing on Mina SayWhat’s podcast Mina’s House, Twist says that Justin’s team was awful to him, and that he “took that heat” for weed charges:

“If they would have put weed charges on Justin in his early career. It would have been bad on him. So, I got a call one day saying, 'Twist, do you really love this kid?' I said, 'Yes.' They said, 'Cool, if you love him then you can take the heat for him because you can come off a little weed charge. You’re associated with Lil Wayne. You’re a rapper.'”

And so, he did it because, well, clearly, he’s a moron. Twist was arrested in 2013 twice while in Justin’s cars and also ALLEGEDLY had a huge weed-filled party at Justin’s mansion; he even says that sometimes he wouldn’t even be at the scene of the crime and would still get blamed:

“It got to a point where I didn’t even have to be there at times and they were putting it, ‘Twist did it, Twist did it, Twist did it,’… It became overwhelming.”

A source—and it’s possibly Justin, co-opting another friend—says Justin doesn’t remember doing anything of the sort:

“Justin and Twist don’t have a relationship anymore, Justin wishes Twist well and finds these comments unfortunate and completely untrue.”

I’m kinda Team Lil Twist, because Lil Justin seems like a Lil Liar.

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I can’t believe it, but it appears that Hell has finally frozen over:

After several in the fashion biz, most notably Andre Leon Talley, called out Anna Wintour for being a bitch and perhaps even a racist, Anna … Wintour … is … apologizing in a note sent out to staff last week:

“I want to start by acknowledging your feelings and expressing my empathy towards what so many of you are going through: sadness, hurt, and anger too.”

And stop. Anna Wintour and empathy go together like Chanel and Crocs, but:

“I want to say this especially to the Black members of our team — I can only imagine what these days have been like.”

And stop, because, like Ellen, a rich white powerful woman knows what it’s like to be black. No, Anna, you cannot imagine, but:

“But I also know that the hurt, and violence, and injustice we’re seeing and talking about have been around for a long time. Recognizing it and doing something about it is overdue.”

And stop; but then, if you know it’s overdue, why haven’t you done something before now? Oh, because you, and Vogue apparently have a history of not promoting, hiring, helping black employees:

“I want to say plainly that I know Vogue has not found enough ways to elevate and give space to Black editors, writers, photographers, designers and other creators. We have made mistakes too, publishing images or stories that have been hurtful or intolerant. I take full responsibility for those mistakes. It can’t be easy to be a Black employee at Vogue, and there are too few of you. I know that it is not enough to say we will do better, but we will—and please know that I value your voices and responses as we move forward. I am listening and would like to hear your feedback and your advice if you would like to share either.”

But please go through proper channels because, well, Anna can’t make room for just anyone with a complaint.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Big Pandemic News! Oprah Winfrey cannot make her own bed.

Yup, with a crisis going on around the country, Oprah has been forced to do her own chores, and took to Instagram to complain that she didn’t know how to properly stuff a duvet into a duvet cover.

Hey O? Gimme a call. I’ll tell you how to stuff it.

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This was supposed to be Anna Wintour’s week. As always, the first Monday in May would find Anna Wintour perched atop the Metropolitan Museum of Art stairs in couture to preside over the Met gala. But then came COVID-19 and the party was shut down.

And out came former BFF André Leon Talley and his memoir, Chiffon Trenches, in which he trashes Wintour as a horrible friend and vicious human.

Now it’s Talley’s friend, designer Ralph Rucci, choosing to fan the flames on Wintour Dirt, writing on Instagram:

“[The] door has been OPENED WIDE [to criticize Wintour] … There has been so much personal evil and destruction, and now perhaps others will feel safe to speak.”

In simpler times, the very idea of bashing Nuclear Wintour would have been career suicide, but times have changed. Some industry insiders are relishing this Battle Royale because it “vindicates” those who have felt snubbed by Wintour over the years and exposes cracks in the almighty power she once[?] wielded over her fashion magazine empire.

Talley’s book was scheduled to drop this week, the week of the Met Gala, but was moved to September because of the pandemic. However, with juicy tidbits being released, and people coming forward with their tales of horror, the book will come out next week.

May is not a good month for Wintour. I think she may cancel the whole month next year. If she still wields any power.

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French Canadian musician—at least that’s what they say—Grimes gave birth to her first child, a boy, with Elon Musk. I know, who cares, right?

But remember back in the good old days when Contagion Paltrow named her daughter Apple and people freaked out? Times change … Musk and Grimes … sounds like a pandemic right there … named their little boy:

X Æ A-12 Musk.

And they’ve already picked out a therapist for the child to work through his soon-to-appear issues. First, though, they need to figure out how to pronounce it.

The state of California took one look at the birth certificate and said:

“Oh, hell no.”

You see, California state law does not allow some Xenu Scientology captcha ass mathematical equation bull. Names can only use the 26 alphabetical characters of the English language, according to the state constitution.

I suggest: XAEATWELVE, cuz that makes just as much sense.

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Elly Jackson, the lead singer of the pop act La Roux, appeared on Phil Taggart‘s podcast last March but the gossip is just now coming out because … who is Elly Jackson?

Yeah; I don’t know either, but … Elly dished on working with Republican Christian Nutcase Kanye West back in 2010, saying he’s not “100% normal” and when she told a mutual friend about his weird-ass behavior, Kanye demanded an apology letter from him.

Now, perhaps he wanted the letter because this isn’t the first time Elly has trashed Kanye. In 2014, she was first asked about working with him and said:

“No, fuck him. Nobody likes him.”

And now she’s back for more because, again, who is she? Elly and Kanye worked on his song All Of The Lights back in 2010 and also did a remix together of her song In For The Kill. She said she witnessed behavior she found “upsetting and unsettling”:

“I just saw some behavior that wasn’t directed toward me, but I saw some behavior that I can’t approve of as a human being—I can’t approve of… He’s one of those people that’s not 100% normal. He’s kind of fascinating. It’s a fascinating world to be in for, you know, like a few days. … [But] you can’t just have a normal conversation. I didn’t manage to anyway—I found it impossible. He’s on [a] show 24 hours a day, it’s just him. It’s also kind of amazing to be around. You know, I’ll never be around anything like that again. It was really strange.”

Then when Elly spoke to a mutual friend about Kanye’s weirdness, the friend ran straight to Yeezy  with the tea, and he was so insulted that he asked her to write him an apology; she did:

“I remember writing it. I was sat there on my sofa lol’ing to myself like: “Dear Kanye”.”

I would’a written just two letters: F and U.

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I always love when people I don’t know, never heard of, make the gossip news because it inspires me to think that regular folk are as fucked up as even pseudo-celebrities.

Apparently, NFL player Earl Thomas, currently of the Baltimore Ravens, is good at football  but sucks at being a faithful husband. See, while under lockdown, Earl had a spat with his wife, Nina, over his love of brown juice and left the manse with his brother, Seth, picked up some women, and had an orgy at an Airbnb in Austin.

Yes, with his brother, y’all. And before you get all Poor Nina and Team Nina on his ass, there’s more:

Nina used Snapchat to figure out where Earl went and used it to track his ass down … with a gun and two of her best girlfriends. When they arrived at the house, they “discovered Earl and Seth naked in bed with other women.” That’s when Nina pulled out the gun and put it to Earl’s head. Now, she claims to have removed the magazine—she just wanted to scare Earl—but didn’t realize there was still one bullet in the chamber. We know this because one of females involved in the orgy recorded it all on her phone … the attempted murder, I’m guessing, not the brother-brother orgy.

Earl wrestled the gun away from Nina, but not before she hit him in the face with it, but it still wasn’t over. By the time police arrived, an orgy goer with a phone, clearly the police say they observed Nina Thomas chasing a shirtless Earl Thomas around a vehicle.

One of the women, Earl’s ALLEGED mistress—he’s at an orgy with his brother and his mistress and at least one side-piece—claims Nina also threatened her and the other woman in the house, when she pointed the gun at them and shouted:

“I got something for all you ho’s!”

After speaking with everyone, police arrested Nina and both members of her posse. Nina was booked for burglary of a residence with intent to commit aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

The best part—other than Nina is required to stay 200 yards from Earl and his alleged mistress—is the recording of Earl that he posted to Instagram to get ahead pf the story before TMZ broke it, in which he says:

“Sometimes things don’t go as planned [and you get caught in a four way with your girlfriend and your brother and] stuff like this happens [when you get caught in a four way with your girlfriend and your brother.]”*

Man, lockdown is something else at the Thomas house, eh?

*My thoughts in parentheses.

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