I'm sure y'all heard the story about the Wisconsin man who was cheating on his wife with three other women. Yeah, he was a busy bee, all right. Well, it seems hell hath no fury like three women scorned who then have access to SuperGlue.
Three of his, uh, girls, including the wife, tricked him into coming to a motel, where one decided to tie him up a little before the fun began. When he was sufficiently bound, she sent text messages to her accomplices and they whipped out the aforementioned SuperGlue and glued his, um, member, okay, I'm not on the The View, his penis to his stomach or thigh--depending on which version of the story you hear.
People laughed. Women laughed. But would they laugh if it had been three men SuperGluing a woman's, oh, i don't know, say, breasts, to her belly?
I didn't think so.
The women were charged with being party to false imprisonment, a felony, and one is charged with fourth-degree sexual assault, a misdemeanor..
Now, however, in the sick column, the man has also been arrested. He was accused of hitting his daughter and stealing the ashes of his estranged wife's dead father.
Crazy.
Crazier still, is that the day after his being tied-up-and-glued, he left a voice mail for his estranged wife telling her that he had taken her dead father's ashes and if she didn't call him he was going to throw "a cup of them" away for every hour he waited.
Craziest.
One of the man's alleged lovers told investigators the man said he wanted to confront his wife by ramming her vehicle off the road while she delivered newspapers and "bash her with a rock." He told investigators he made the statement but wasn't serious.
The man also, allegedly, talked with one of his alleged lovers about taking out a $1 million life insurance policy on his wife because he had a friend who had been in Iraq and was a sharpshooter. The man said the plot would require him to be shot but not killed and that the only flaw was that, since he had told his lover, "he would have to kill her too."
And I thought War Of The Roses was just a movie.
Those str8s sure go to a great extent to protect marriage, don't they?
ReplyDeleteSome people just don't get the concept of divorce.
ReplyDeleteHonestly. The best revenge doesn't have to involve SuperGlue.
ReplyDeleteA friend learned that her husband had been cheating on her via an online dating site -- and had been bedding dozens of women -- and they hadn't even been married a year.
Anyway, while he was away on a business trip, she scanned his online pic and replaced all the framed art and photos throughout their house with his online profile pic. When he got home, his lying, cheating, smiling online mug was smiling back at HIM.
Oh how I wish I'd been a fly on a wall when he returned home.
Their divorce should be finalized within the next month or so.
Thankfully we have THESE people to uphold the sanctity of marriage.
ReplyDelete