The Funny Papers

Dave Whamond, Mike Luckovich, Jesse Duqette, Jack Ohman, Max Espinosa, Michael de Adder, Marc Murphy, Kevin Necessary, Nick Anderson, RJ Matson, Christopher Weyant, Lalo Alcaraz, David Horsey, Darrin Bell, Gary Huck, Bill Bramhall,

I Didn't Say It

John Fetterman, Pennsylvania Democratic Senator, mocking Fox News over a report about the loosening of Senate dress code by taking down Fox, the GOP and Bobo:

"I figure if I take up vaping and grabbing the hog during a live musical, they'll make me a folk hero."

Aaaaaand scene!

photo

Cassidy Hutchinson, former aide to Thing 45 lapdog Mark Meadows, smacking down Florida GOP loon Matt Gaetz after he claimed they dated:

"I will give Matt credit [to] his part of the statement that we did have an amicable working relationship and we were good friends—at points [but] Matt Gaetz, in my opinion, is somebody that I personally do not hold in high regards in terms of trust, and I do not think that Matt Gaetz has the best track record for relationships. I will say for myself: I have never dated Matt Gaetz. I have much higher standards in men, and Matt, frankly, is a very unserious politician ... I don't really have much else to say to somebody that is more concerned about a soundbite than actually passing legislation."

So, basically she’s saying Matt Gaetz is a moron who is woefully out of his depth and nowhere near her league.

Sounds right; he’s one of those social media politicians who want clicks but have no real interest in doing their job.

photo

Vivek Ramaswamy, smarmy GOP presidential candidate, discussing transgender youth at this week’s debate:

“Transgenderism, especially in kids, is a mental health disorder… It is not compassionate to affirm a kid’s confusion. That is not compassion, that is cruelty.”

I wonder when this slimeball used car salesman asshat became an expert on transgender and why he disputes the American Psychiatric Association which says diverse gender expressions “are not indications of a mental disorder.”

Perhaps he’s just catering to bigoted MAGAt asshats ... or he’s just a lying fuck himself.

photo

Tim Scott, at that same GOP debate the other night, saying that welfare assistance was harder than slavery for Black Americans:

“Black families survived slavery! We survived poll taxes and literacy tests. We survived discrimination being woven into the laws of our country. What was hard to survive was Johnson’s Great Society, where they decided to put money—where they decided to take the Black father out of the household to get a check in the mail.”

Funny, sounds a little like Scott might actually be acknowledging systemic racism, something he says does not exist.

As for welfare being harder than slavery … I can’t.

photo

Tim Burchett, Tennessee’s GOP Representative, on Kevin McCarthy and his future as Speaker:

“I have my doubts right now because I’m seeing—we need leadership … We don’t need someone just to say we’ve got 218 votes or whatever that jumps on the train after it leaves the station. Speaker Pelosi, I don’t agree with her ever, hardly on anything, but she was pretty successful. And the way she did it was she put an issue out amongst her caucus. She met with them. She figured out what they wanted, and then they put it out on the floor and they passed it and they rallied around it. A lot of work goes into that but I’m not seeing that work right now. And it’s very disappointing to me.”

Cuz it’s all games, Tim; it’s all show for Matty and Marge and Bobo, and Kevin’s hanging onto his power by a thread, so they can’t get anything done. Your party doesn’t work; it stopped working a long time ago and in the last six years has become a group of traitorous jokes.

photo

Howard Stern, embracing being called “woke” by the wingnuts:

“I kind of take that as a compliment, that I’m ‘woke.’ To me, the opposite of woke is being asleep, and if woke means I can’t get behind [Inmate # P01135809], which is what I think it means, or that I support people who want to be transgender, or I’m for the vaccine—dude, call me woke as you f—ing want. I’m not for stupidity. I am woke, motherf—er. And I love it. I think that’s a compliment. These guys who I see on the internet who say they’re not woke, but they seem to be really angry, super against gay people—especially transgender. Am I for kids being able to read about anything in school? Yeah, I am. I don’t give a s— what kids read. Give me vaccines, man. I’m all for it. I like being woke.”

The opposite of woke is asleep, and the Republicans, many of them, in America, are asleep as to what they’re being told; they’re too fast asleep to even question the lies; they’re far too sleepy to see that what they’re being fed is hate.

Unless they all just hate, which might be true, too.

PS  A USA Today-Ipsos poll released in March found that 56% of Americans have a positive association with the term “woke,” understanding it to mean to “be informed, educated on, and aware of social injustices.”

I feel sad for the 44%.

photo

The Funny Papers

Marc Murphy, Bill Day, Tim Campbell, Drew Sheneman, Gary Huck, David Cohen, Nick Anderson, Dave Whamond, David Horsey, Mike Luckovich, Rick McKee, Ed Wexler, Clay Bennett, MacLeaod, Lalo Alcaraz

I Didn't Say It

Jinkx Monsoon, RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 7, on the current strike from the Screen Actors Guild [SAG] and the Writers Guild of America [WGA] and asking drag performers to strike in solidarity:

“I want to talk to all my fellow drag entertainers and queer artists, content creators, and influencers. I am a member of SAG, so I have a vested interest in the actors and the writers’ strike right now. But I am also a drag artist and queer entertainer who’s worked in this industry for 10 years now. And I know firsthand that drag artists, queer entertainers … we are not fully taken seriously yet. Especially drag artists. Lots of times we’re treated like a novelty. We’re treated like we’re interchangeable with each other. I know as a drag artist and queer entertainer that you never know when your next gig is coming and we live off our gigs, so it’s scary to turn down work. But if a company approaches you right now to promote new work, to act in new work, to write for new work, and you take that job, you will be considered a ‘scab.’ What that means is that SAG will no longer consider you eligible to ever join the actor’s union. This could affect your career in the long run when this strike is over. Taking a job right now could prevent you from getting work in the future.”

Monsoon also noted how important it is for LGBTQ+ performers to stand strong right now in order to prove how valuable our community is to Hollywood studios.

​A few commenters criticized Jinkx for supporting the strike but still going on the road with her current Everything at Stake Tour but she reminded them that the strike does not apply to live entertainment that has no connection to any major studio, film or TV show, which is Monsoon’s case.

So see a drag show, but stand with all the actors and writers, straight and LGBTQ+ who are on strike.

photo

Charles Barkley, NBA legend, standing up transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney and Bud Light in a bar and in his own inimitable style:

"So I’m gonna buy some drinks for y’all and I’m gonna buy Bud Light. All you rednecks or assholes who don't want to drink Bud Light—fuck y'all. Hey, y'all can't cancel me. "I ain't worried about getting canceled. If y'all fire me and give me all that money, I'm going to be playing golf every fucking day. I got three cases of Bud Light. If you're gay, bless you. If you're trans, bless you. If you have a problem with that, fuck you!"

This is what we … and I’ll channel my inner Charles Barkley … fucking need is allies to stand the fuck up against the bigots and the haters and fucking shut them down every fucking time they spew their ignorance.

Fuck them; and bless Charles Barkley.

photo

Robert Garcia, out Democrat Representative from California, calling out Large Marge for her publicity stunt of trying to humiliate Hunter Biden by showing naked pictures of him in a Congressional  hearing:

“Today’s hearing is like most of the majority’s investigations and hearings: a lot of allegations, zero proof, no receipts, but apparently some d**k pics. Now, at a certain point, the American people need some actual evidence, actual evidence, but we’ve seen absolutely none. This is, of course, in stark contrast to the _____ crime family. The majority conveniently glazes over the _____ family’s foreign dealings. The _____ family, who, of course, were actually appointed to White House senior jobs, from Ivanka’s Chinese trademarks to Jared’s Qatari real estate bailout and two billion in Saudi private equity money. So where’s that investigation? They were actually in the White House.”

Of note: Hunter Biden doesn’t work for the president or have a position in the White House, but Marge thought it a good idea to show nude photos of him during another hearing on Hunter not paying taxes.

They have no evidence that President Biden did anything wrong but, like Benghazi, they will beat this dead horse. Yet, sadly, the dead horse I refer to is not Marjorie Taylor Green.

photo

Ted Cruz, going after Barbie because … of who the hell knows … for the attention:

“There’s a scene in Barbie, where there is this map of the world, and it’s drawn like with crayon. I mean, it’s really a very simple cartoon. And so they have this blockish thing that is called ‘Asia.’ And then they’ve drawn what are called the nine-dashes. This is Chinese communist propaganda in which the Chinese are asserting sovereignty over the entirety of the South China Sea. And they don’t have any right to it under international law, but they are trying to take it away from their neighbors there.”

The image in question that has Rafael’s panties bunched shows a crude map of the world with Barbie standing in front of, and an outline of land labeled “Asia” with eight dashes drawn in the sea.

And this has Rafael pissed; not the excessive heat in his home state that’s been going on for weeks, or the murder of immigrants in the Rio Grande, or Climate Change or anything else.

It’s Barbie.

photo

Vivek Ramaswamy, businessman and GOP candidate for the presidency, proving he’s perfect for the GOP by flip-flopping on January 6 and the Thing 45 indictments:

“My concern is unless we reconcile ourselves with what the truth of the matter was that led to Jan. 6, that’s really just going to be a friendly preview of what’s to come in this country. I think every American has to look, especially much of the Left in this country that denounces Jan. 6 and the supposed threats to our democracy. Everyone in this country has to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask ourselves what role each of us played in getting to that day.”

Well, Vivek, I played no role in it; I didn’t amass a mob at the White House and rile them up and tell them to march to the capitol and “take back our country.”

And what’s funny is that your change of heart about January 6 occurred mere hours after Thing 45 talked about you as a possible running mate. And what’s especially funny is that you felt very differently about Thing 45 and 1/6 right after it happened:

photo

Kerry Kennedy, sister of Democratic presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr., speaking out about his conspiracy theory that Covid-19 was “targeted to attack Caucasians and Black people” and that Jewish people are most immune:

“I strongly condemn my brother’s deplorable and untruthful remarks last week about Covid being engineered for ethnic targeting. His statements do not represent what I believe or what Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights stand for, with our 50+-year track record of protecting rights and standing against racism and all forms of discrimination.”

Kerry Kennedy is president of the non-profit group Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights.

How lovely to have a brother like that and to constantly distance yourself from his inane ramblings and half-truths.

photo