The Funny Papers

Bob McDonnell Steps In It .... Then Steps In It Again

Earlier this month, before the Virginia General Assembly voted to reject Tracy Thorne-Begland—see post HERE-- a gay judicial nominee, Bob McDonnell, the GOP governor said homosexuality should not disqualify someone from serving as a judge. And he said that's always been his position.

“I have long been an advocate of judicial selection based on merit,” McDonnell said on WTOP’s “Ask the Governor.”

Except that's not exactly true, and WTOP host, Mark Seagraves wanted to know about it.

He recalled for the governor, who, like most Republicans, has difficulty remembering which bigoted remarks they uttered and when they uttered them, the time back in 2003 when McDonnell himself lead a successful effort to unseat a lesbian Circuit Court judge. See, then-delegate McDonnell actually questioned whether someone who had engaged in oral or anal sex could serve as a judge because that behavior would violate the state’s anti-sodomy statute.

And, when asked about that today, McDonnell said to Seagraves, “No, I think you got that out of context.”

And Seagraves asked, "What is context for it?”

"Bob McDonnell, stammered, as he tried to recall his open bigotry from 2003 and how to mesh it with his closeted bigotry of 2012, and said, “What I said was someone, at the time, actually there were certain acts that would be a crime —”

“It’s 2003. Anti-sodomy laws,” said Mark Seagraves.

McDonnell responded, “Right. If someone had [committed] a crime, honestly that would call into question their ability to be a judge. But I was very clear in other statements of the time that those factors should not be an element of the decision making.”

Now, digging back into history, that lesbian, Judge Verbena Askew was not reappointed for a second, eight-year term, though McDonnell says it had nothing to do with her orientation. It was due to the fact that Askew had been accused of sexually harassing a female court employee and had not disclosed the woman’s lawsuit against her, as required, on her judicial application.

“There were a lot of things, Mark, that led to that decision,” McDonnell said. “This [her homosexuality] was not a factor. And so I’m disappointed that people still would say that.”

But, Seagraves wanted to know, what if there had been no sexual harassment allegation? What if there had been no undisclosed lawsuit to raise questions about her truthfulness? What if she’d simply been a gay judge having gay sex at a time when that was illegal in Virginia? Would that have been okay?

“Mark, that’s 10 years ago,” McDonnell said. “When somebody violates the law, then it’s going to make it hard for them to be a judge, don’t you agree? ... But that’s not what happened in that case.”

The U.S. Supreme Court struck down anti-sodomy laws later in 2003 and so Seagraves asked if the now-invalidated law might still be used to disqualify those gay judicial nominees who were sexually active in Virginia before the Supreme Court ruling because they would, in fact, be criminals.

The question appeared to catch McDonnell off guard: “What I, the law at the time, and so, I —”

Once he was able to compose himself, and fighting the pain of his own past words biting him on the ass, McDonnell said he would not object to a gay nominee “if they are otherwise qualified to be on the bench based on merit, ability, judicial temperament and ability to follow the law regardless of what their political beliefs are.”

But that's today. That's not the Bob McDonnell of 2003, no matter how much he tries to spin it. And it certainly wasn't Bob McDonnell who stepped in on behalf of Throne-Begland and asked the Virginia House to keep his sexual orientation out of their discussions.

So, McDonnell hasn't really changed, has he? He's just keeping his bigotry a little closer to the vest these days.

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Virginia Caves To ISBL Asshat of the Week: Pissy Bobby Marshall

It seems like only yesterday that Virginia state representative Bob Marshall was names ISBL's Asshat of the Week and.....what's that? It was yesterday? See post HERE.

But it gets worse. The Virginia General Assembly rejected a man for a Richmond judgeship because he's gay. I mean, they say they have other reasons, like they say he might not uphold the Virginia law that says marriage is between one man and one woman.

But really, it's because he's gay. And has a partner. And they have children.

Virginia conservatives argued that  Tracy Thorne-Begland 's support for gay marriage and his challenge to the military’s now-defunct “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy make him unfit for the bench. The House of Delegates voted 33 to 31, with 10 abstentions, to make Thorne-Begland a General District Court judge in Richmond, but he needed 51 votes in the 100-member chamber to win appointment.

And why did pissy Bobby Marshall vote against Thorne-Begland? “He holds himself out as being married,” Marshall said.

And he won't have a man being married to a man on the bench.

And even the Virginia Senate chickened out; they didn't vote on the nomination itself, but the Republicans killed it by passing it by for the day--the very last of this year’s General Assembly session. The decision to pass it by cleared cleanly along party lines, although one Democrat,  Yvonne Miller didn't vote.

Democratic Senator Adam Ebbin, Virginia’s first openly gay state senator, was sickened by the way this was handled. “The debate in the House of Delegates was homophobic and embarrassing and showed disrespect to a chief deputy commonwealth attorney and decorated veteran who was honorably discharged. It’s offensive that the Senate wouldn’t even grant Lt. Thorne-Begland the courtesy of a vote.”

And even the governor, one of the biggest wingnuts in the GOP, Bob McDonnell said, through a spokesman that a judicial nominee’s sexual orientation should not be an issue: “The Governor believes candidates for judicial vacancies must be considered based solely on their merit, record, aptitude and skill. No other factors should ever be considered and the Governor has long made clear that discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is not acceptable in state government.”

Let's end with some more bigotry and just plain ignorance, from Granny Panty Pissy Bobby Marshall, who actually said, “I would guess--law of averages--we’ve probably nominated people who have homosexual inclinations.”

First off, Pissy, it isn't an inclination. My inclination is to believe you are a closeted self-loathing homosexual who is so petrified of being outed that even voting for an openly gay nominee to a district court sends you into a tailspin of hate.

That's an inclination, asshat.

But then Marshall goes on to get more pissy because Tracy Thorne-Begland came out as a gay Naval officer on “Nightline” more than twenty ago to challenge DADT. Marshall says the action amounted not just to insubordination, but to a waste of taxpayer dollars, since it resulted in his dismissal from the Navy: “The Navy spent $1 million training him. That’s cheating the country out of the investment in him.”

Oh, Pissy, you are just too stupid. He didn't come out so he could leave the military and waste the taxpayer dollars that trained him; he came out because he didn't want to live a life as a hypocrite and a liar.

You should try it.

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I Didn't Say It.......

Maggie Gallagher, NOM High Priestess of Hate, on  Dan Savage's "sexual ethic" of valuing honesty over fidelity and the disaster that, she says, will be his upcoming MTV show:

"There was a thoughtful analysis of [Savage's] sexual ethics in the Washington Monthly recently, for folks who want to get a taste of what he writes. The essay, by a Lutheran Minister, ends by pointing out where Savage ethics lead. A young man, in love with his girlfriend, with whom he has had a rather open and satisfying sexual relationship, but is tempted by more "sexual variety" asks how he can ask for that without ruining his relationship, which he values. Savage, who for all his experience, does not know what women are like, advises him to tell her openly and honestly what he wants, because otherwise the young man will just cheat on her. The Lutheran minister, wiser in the ways of men and women, suggests that this young man is going to get pretty lonely looking for another woman able to give him all this young woman does--and who doesn't mind his playing around on the side. The possibility of taming one's sexual desire for the sake of another, or of a vow, is not in the Savage moral imagination. Libido will have out, and honesty about that is the best policy. He brings, in other words, the best of gay sexual ethics and experience to a straight audience, with potentially disastrous results."

And Maggie thinks we should take our moral cues from either her, or a Lutheran minister, about sexual ethics.
Maggie, those who can, do; those, like you, who can't, try to impose their limited worldview on the rest of us.

Dan Savage, responding to Maggie Gallagher:

"I do not intend to 'educate your college students,' Maggie. Your college students—the offspring of NOM supporters—are being 'educated' at Brigham Young, Liberty University, Bob Jones, Seattle Pacific University, and other Christianist madrassas. My college tours typically take me to secular institutions of higher learning where the kids were hooking up and having sex long before my visit to campus. I know what women are like. I may not know what women taste like—I've never gone down on one—but I do know what women are like. My mother was a woman, my sister is a woman, my aunts are women, my favorite bartender is a woman, lots of my friends, neighbors, and coworkers are women. And as someone who sleeps with men and is a long-term relationship with a man, I know what (straight) women have to put up with. I'm not the first gay man that women have turned to for advice about love and sex, Maggie, and I won't be the last. And aren't you a practicing Catholic? Not knowing what women are like (or taste like) has never stopped the Pope from offering his unsolicited advice to women—no birth control, no abortions, no oral, no anal, no handjobs—and it's hypocritical of you to suggest that I'm not qualified to advise women, since I won't fuck 'em, without first telling that old fag in Rome to STFU already."

Again, Dan, Brazilliant!

Glenn Beck, on his cancellation, er, "transition" out, of his FOX News program:

"I took the job two years ago because I thought I had something important to share. I really thought that if I could prove my case that something wicked this way was coming, something in America was wrong, America would listen. And, they have. I'm surprised at both the number that have and haven't even with all of the facts....When I took this job I didn't take it because it was going to be a career for me. Paul Revere did not get up on the horse and say 'Hwaa I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life!' He didn't do it. He got off the horse at some point and fought in the revolution..."

Difference is, Glenn, your ignorant fuck, is that Revere got off the horse of his own free will. He wasn't pushed off because he was a moronic gasbag out of touch with the real world, and pandering to the lowest wingnuts he could find.

Diane Gramley, head of the Pennsylvania chapter of the American Family Association, announcing a new campaign against the repeal of DADT:

"We are undermining our military [with this policy] and thus undermining our national defense, so we are encouraging them to get into the thick of the battle because that's what it's going to take to get this terrible law thrown out. If we allow this implementation to go forth, then it will destroy our military, and there's no doubt about that. So we're encouraging Pennsylvanians to contact Congressman Bill Shuster and Congressman Mark Critz and ask them to protect our military."

So, um, Diane, honey?
Equality undermines people?
Treating everyone the same is bad for our national defense?
You need to dig your fugly mug out of the sand and realzie that equality for any oif us is eqaulity for all of us, and only works to make things better.
And seriously, honey, a little blush and some eyeliner would do wonders.

Former Australian High Court judge Michael Kirby, on how he wants marriage equality, but would probably never take advantage of it with his partner John van Vloten:

"After all our engagement has gone on for 42 years so it's getting a bit late in the day. But it ought to be there for those who want it. Religion should butt out of this. This is a matter of the civil rights of fellow citizens and it's really not acceptable to deprive fellow citizens on the grounds of the religious views of some."

Nicely put, but it's never too late to tell your friends and neighbors, and countrymen, and the world, of your love for your partner, and your commitment to your partner, and your desire to be seen as a legally wed couple, no matter how many years are under your belts, like everyone else.

American Family Association's Bryan Fischer, proving again why his little group is listed as a hate group:

"Welfare has destroyed the African-American family by telling young black women that husbands and fathers are unnecessary and obsolete. Welfare has subsidized illegitimacy by offering financial rewards to women who have more children out of wedlock. We have incentivized fornication rather than marriage, and it’s no wonder we are now awash in the disastrous social consequences of people who rut like rabbits."

Wow, just when you thought he was rabidly anti-gay, you find out he's a big old sheet-wearing-cross-burning-job-denying-stereotyping racist.

Virginia wingnut Governor Bob McDonnell, on opposing a proposed regulation to ban discrimination against adoptive gay parents:

"I don’t think we ought to force Catholic Charities to make that part of their policy or other similar situated groups. Many of our adoption agencies are faith-based groups that ought to be able to establish what their own policies are. Current regulations that say you can’t discriminate on the basis of race, color or national origin I think are proper. I think previous efforts to expand that to a number of other classes are going to have very strict scrutiny to make sure that we don’t inhibit the very fine work some faith-based organizations are doing."

Yes, let's keep the kids in foster care and in orphanages instead of allowing them to be placed in the homes of people, who just happen to be gay, who want to raise a child, and nurture a child, and love a child.
That would be horrific, and so un-"christ"-like.

Bob Smith, comedian and author, on Facebook:

"Read that Arizona Gov. Brewer wants to tax obese people because they cost more for health care. If the Republicans take this national, then Rush Limbaugh, Gov. Christie, Haley Barbour, Roger.Ailes, (head of Fox News) and Huckabee's sons could pay off the national debt. These guys aren't right-wing, they're right Buffalo wing dipped in blue-cheese dressing."

Too bad Brewer doesn't want ignorant racist delusional fucks to pay higher taxes, because she could pay off the debt all by her lonesome.
Still, "right Buffalo wing dipped in blue-cheese dressing" is high-larious.

Bill Maher, on how the Democrats should get tougher:

"Republicans don't run from unpopular stances and they stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies, and ancient books filled with primitive morality and magic people, but convictions nonetheless."

Maher's right.
The Republicans keep saying the most hateful, and wrong things over and over again and then people start to believe them--well, at least irrational people.
Prime example: Michelle Bachmann, who wouldn't know the truth if it knocked her in the head and straightened out her crazy eyes.
The Dems need to get tough, and stay tough, and stand up, and fight.
And the GOP will implode on their own inconsistencies.

Teabagger wingnut, and complete moron, Louie Gohmert, a Republican from Texas, on how the US action in Libya is actually a false flag operation meant to exhaust the military's resources so Obama can call up his super-secret army as authorized in the health care reform bill:

"It's a bad bill. And then when you find out that the prior Congress not only passed that 2,800 page bill with all kinds of things in it, including a new president's commissioned officer corps and non-commissioned officer corps. Do we really need that? I wondered when I read that in the bill. But then when you find out we're being sent to Libya to use our treasure and American lives there, maybe there's intention to so deplete the military that we're going to need that presidential reserve officer commissioned corps and non-commissioned corps that the president can call up on a moment's notice involuntarily, according to the Obamacare bill."

Point proven.
The GOP, and it's Hounddogs From Hell, making completely fabricated statements as though they were the gospel.
And we all know how members of the GOP follow the tenets of the gospel.
See, the Ready Reserves Corps of medical personnel created in the health care reform bill, are meant to serve in national emergencies, like, say, Katrina, but Gohmert and his ick, er, ilk, say they will actually be an army of Obama's private henchmen.
Gohmert also fails to mention that the concept of the Ready Reserves Corps was first put forward by the Bush administration after 9/11. He also fails to mention that he makes these claims from the podium of an empty House chamber.
Yes, no one was listening, and no one has the chance to call him on his asshattery.

Crazy Eyes, Michele Bachmann, who selectively forgets that these tough economic times started under the Bush regime, the regime that started an illegal war for oil, based on lies and fear:

"I think that the agenda that we have seen - we know that sixty-three percent of all households have seen a major decline in their personal wealth, a decline in their personal income, and an increase in their debt level. That's all attributable directly to Barack Obama's principles. I don't think it's by accident we're seeing people struggling and we're seeing redistribution of wealth. I think Barack Obama is getting exactly the outcome that he hoped for. All of us, I think are perhaps giving the President too much credit thinking, well, he probably just doesn't understand that liberalism actually makes people poorer. I actually think that this is what the President wants. I believe that he wants to see redistribution of wealth because if you ever notice, the President seems to be angry and irritable and sarcastic about people who have succeeded in the United States and job creators. Those seem to be the two sectors that he most wants to punish."

There are no words.
Bachmann will make this her new mantra no matter how many times she's proven wrong.
She's either a crafty little liar, or a completely delusional asshat.
I think it's both.

Donald Trump, on why he's opposed to marriage equality, and how he thinks Obama will come out in favor of it: 

"I just don't feel good about it. I don't feel right about it. I'm against it. And I take a lot of heat because I come from New York...I'm opposed to gay marriage...We have other problems in this country. I don't think a president should be elected on gay marriage or not gay marriage...Based on everything I see, I think Obama is going to come out in favor of gay marriage."

Trump.
Using his money and his ample hair, to pander to the lowest common denominator.
He "just doesn't feel good" about marriage equality.
But he's felt good enough about traditional marriage to have done it three times.

Montana GOP Representative, and bar owner, Alan Hale, speaking out against a bill that would stiffen the state's DUI laws: 

"These DUI laws are not doing our small businesses in our state any good at all. They are destroying them. They are destroying a way of life that has been in Montana for years and years. These taverns and bars in these smaller communities connect people together. They are the center of the communities. I'll guarantee you there's only two ways to get there: either you hitchhike, or you drive, and I promise you they're not going to hitchhike."

Ladies and gentle-ladies, I give you the future of the GOP.
Blind to facts.
Deaf to reason and logic.
But most of all, Dumb.

Donald Trump, again, riding the Birther Train:

"A lot of the so called birthers, these are great people, these are really great American people. These are hard working, unbelievable, salt of the earth people. I'm proud to be, I mean I'm very proud of it. I don't like the term 'birther.' I think it is a demeaning term to the people that believe that he should have a birth certificate, that some people believe he was not born in this country. And when people ask me that question I just can't be sure because nobody knows. I have a birth certificate. People have birth certificates. He doesn't have a birth certificate. He may have one but there is something on that birth certificate — maybe religion, maybe it says he's a Muslim, I don't know. Maybe he doesn't want that. Or, he may not have one."

It's demeaning to call them birthers, but it isn't demeaning to question a president, for the first time in history--and oddly enough the first Black president--about his birth certificate.
It's racism, Trump, and you'rte pandering to it.