Bobservations

Carlos doesn’t like kids; he says they’re loud and dirty and obnoxious and the only thing he likes about them is when I am asked if I like children and I say:

“Yes. Deep-fried with a side of Ranch dressing.”

But I digress. Carlos was set to translate at the courthouse here in Camden and I dropped him off on my way to work. He knows the building very well and finds his way around with ease. The courts were slightly back up so he sat on a bench in the hallway waiting for the lawyer and client to be called for their hearing.

As he sat there, two screaming girls were running amok in the hallway and finally their mother put the kibosh on the shenanigans. So, they walked to the bench where Carlos sat and began talking to him:

“What is that?”

“My cane.”

“What’s it for?”

“It helps me get around because I can’t see.”

“You can’t see?”

“Nope.”

And that started a long game of how many fingers am I holding up, until one girl asked him how he got to the courthouse:

“Did you drive?”

“No, someone dropped me off.”

“How did you get up here.”

And he talked about counting steps and listening to the sounds in the hallways to find the elevators and the stairs and the courtroom doors, and those little girls sat with him and questioned him and studied him and chatted with him learned a little something from him about being differently abled.

I said:

“See you do like kids.”

“No I don’t.”

“You do because I would have asked to have them fried and served with Ranch.”

And I wasn’t wrong. But he is far sweeter and more patient with kids than he likes to let on.

He’s really a sweetheart.

This Tuxedo Says is from July 2020:

"Tuxedo has been trying to explain the asshattery of All Lives Matter on Facebook for weeks now … this time he chose a direct route."

And we can continue to do that every day since then, y’all.

Right before other state lawmakers were set to be sworn in, Texas Democrat Representative Venton Jones asked his boyfriend, Gregory Scott Jr., to marry him:

“In a time when our love and our very existence are challenged, often in the halls of this very building, this moment is a reminder that love conquers all. Gregory and I stand as proof that progress is unstoppable, and no amount of hate can erase the truth of who we are.”

In Texas, y’all; in the statehouse!

Of note, the Democrats gave us our first African American President and our first African American Vice President.

Republicans gave us our first Convicted Felon President.

See, there is a difference.

Last week on Jeopardy, journalist and hottie Drew Goins showed up to the competition in a sweater that gave us well-rounded pecs and nipples to gawk at.

PS He won.

South Carolina’s Nancy Mace descended even further into madness this week after Democrat Representative Jasmine Crockett called her a child:

“I am no child! Do not call me a child. I am no child. Don’t even start, I am a grown woman, 47 years old.”

And then Nancy Mace, a grown woman, not a child, asked Crockett if she wanted to “take it outside.”

Doesn’t get more childish, Nancy.

As The Felon prepares to return to the White House, Amazon has cut commitments protecting Black and LGBTQ+ people. Statements that said Amazon supported the rights of transgender people and LGBTQ+ and Black employees disappeared from a company webpage in December.

So, if you’re trans, Black or Gay, Amazon has clearly stated they don’t give a fuck about you and if you still want to shop there because it’s easy peasy, then maybe you don’t give a fuck about equality either.

When I heard that Carrie Underwood was going to perform at The Felon’s inauguration, my first thought was to boycott her music and then I realized I have been boycotting her music since she first started singing.

PS The flag is not meant to be worn as a tank top, hon; that’s not patriotism.

During a confirmation hearing for defense secretary nominee, alcoholic, homophobe, sexual predator and misogynist Pete Hegseth, GOP Senator Eric Schmitt complained about Wokeness in the military. while sitting in front of a sign that misspelled the word “military.”

You cannot make this shiz up.

Matthew Djordjevic is a model from Australia and is repped by Ford Models, Kult Models, and FiveTwenty Model Management but all I need know is, Would You Hit It?

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

This past week on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, embattled “housewife” Erika Jayne tried to explain the deposit of $20 million into the bank account of EJ Global, an LLC in her name, as something she did not know about because she wasn’t allowed to look at the books … again in an LLC in her name.

Trouble is, lawyers for the trustee overseeing the Girardi Keese bankruptcy found that Erika Jaynes “company” spent more than $25,000,000 on her American Express bill, a team of assistants and a glam squad. The lawyers ALLEGE that money was transferred from her estranged husband Tom Girardi’s law firm into Jayne’s company and notes that she is the sole owner of the company. Jayne’s lawyers say that “no money whatsoever went to Erika” and that she never had a role in managing her husband’s company.

But, Erika, honey, lying honey, you said you never saw the books, and had no idea the $20 million was out in there, so how did you know you could pay $25 million in expenses. I mean, if you made that much money as a singer, you’d have left your “terrible” husband years ago.

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It looks like another celebrity has defected from the Cult of Scientology as we now know that Laura Prepon, formerly one of Scientology’s most visible celebrities, has announced in a People magazine article that she no longer belongs to L. Ron Hubbard’s little cult. Laura had been a Scientologist since the That 70s Show days, on which she starred alongside noted Scientologist, and accused rapist, Danny Masterson, and dated his Scientologist brother Christopher for eight years.

But all that changed three years ago when she met and married Ben Foster and became the mother of two. Though many people assumed that when she and Ben met he was also in the Cult, and signed his own billion-year contract and converted from Judaism, Laura now says she hasn’t practiced Scientology in five years and that when she married Ben she was officially out of Co$:

“I’m no longer practicing Scientology. I’ve always been very open-minded, even since I was a child. I was raised Catholic and Jewish. I’ve prayed in churches, meditated in temples. I’ve studied Chinese meridian theory. I haven’t practiced Scientology in close to five years and it’s no longer part of my life.”

Good for Laura for waking up, but, if I were here, I’d keep an eye out for Kirstie Alley, who may come lumbering up behind her, or for John Travolta, who may stop smooching his pilot long enough to bash her, or Tom Cruise, who is probably throwing a hissy fit right now, because with Laura out of the Cult, who will get things of the high shelves for him?

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Country singer Carrie Underwood does not get political, though it’s assumed she’s a big old Republican, but now it seems she is also an anti-masking fool as well.

See, Carrie recently “liked” an anti-mask Tweet by Matt Walsh, a conservative commentator who writes on topics ranging from “Modern Feminism’s Assault On Womanhood and It’s Your Fault If You’re Offended to Why White Privilege Is A Ridiculous Myth and Why Transgenderism Is A Ridiculous Myth.”

At a recent Nashville School Board meeting, Matt shrieked that COVID-19 posed “almost no threat to our kids at all” [note: the Delta Variant has infected many children] and called masking children “child abuse.” And Carrie saw that and was like, “Yeah, me too,” and hit the like button.

But the best part about this, and had Carrie Underwood even bothered to check, she’d have found that Matt Walsh had no business at a school board meeting because he homeschools his children … and they don’t wear masks,

Oh Carrie. Let Jesus take the wheel.

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I guess if you’re gonna cheat on your spouse, go all out and really cheat. 

Amirite, Amber Rose? This week Amber Rose took to her Instagram Stories to accuse Alexander “AE” Edwards, her boyfriend, and father of her youngest son, of cheating on her with at least twelve other women.

Talk about your dirty dozen. The best part though is that AE went on Instagram Live's The Neighborhood  Talk and admitted that he’s an NBC … Natural Born Cheater. AE also admits that, while he “might” stop putting his dick into any hole that comes his way for “a good, solid six months, and deprive myself from my true nature as long as I could take it,” he doesn’t want to live like that.

Gosh, AE makes Khloe Kardastrophe’s cheating ex, Tristan Thompson, look like a choir boy. Amirite, Amber?

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Over the weekend Barbra Streisand appeared on an Australian talk show and dragged the Lady Gaga/Bradley Cooper adaptation of A Star is Born. Barbra starred in the 1976 version, which was based on the iconic 1954 Judy Garland version, which was based on the original 1937 film starring Janet Gaynor.

Barbra, who visited the set and was photographed with Gaga, and gave the film a rave review when it was released, now says the 2018 version was “the wrong idea” and should have been more original, like her version … the third version … of the story.

Barbra says that when she starred in A Star Is Born she wanted it to be different than the other versions … unlike the original about an actress, or Judy’s about a musical movie star or Gaga’s about a rock-and-pop star, Babs played a “guitar-playing singer-songwriter” in her reboot. Yes, it was oh so very different. Barbra also now says she would have preferred an earlier proposal of the 2018 film that would have starred “integrated actors” like Will Smith and Beyoncé … so it would have been an R & B star?

“At first, when I heard it was going to be done again, it was supposed to be Will Smith and Beyoncé, and I thought, that’s interesting. Really make it different again, different kind of music, integrated actors, I thought that was a great idea. So, I was surprised when I saw how alike [the 2018 film] was to the version that I did in 1976.”

And then, as the knife pricks the skin, Babs jams it in farther saying:

“I don’t care so much about success as I do originality.”

Says the woman who made the third reboot of a film, but changed the lead from musical star to guitar playing star.

Damned if you honor Barbra, damned if you don’t.

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The Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame Inducts Linda Ronstadt

Yesterday was our monthly — well, really every five weekly — trek to the CostCo in Charlotte. It’s a nice drive through the country back roads and Carlos loves to visit CostCo for the snack ladies, but that’s another story for another day.

Back at home I perused the DVR for the weekend highlights. We had a Free HBO weekend, so I loaded up on movies — including, thankfully, and finally, The Normal Heart — and the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame telecast. This year’s inductees included Peter Gabriel, love him, Cat Stevens, like him, Kiss, thank goddess for fast forward, the E Street Band — who apparently were not inducted alongside Bruce Springsteen which makes no sense — Hall and Oates — Oates needs to lay off the surgery — Nirvana — the best part was Courtney Love getting booed— and Linda Ronstadt.

Well, I have been a Ronstadt fan, er, fanatic, since the very first time I heard her sing way, way, waaaay, back in the day. I could listen to her sing Country rock, Rock, Punk ,Pop, Operetta, Latina, Big Band and Blues and she sings them all flawlessly.

Seriously. I’m a fan. As a kid, the family took a motor home trip from California to Texas for a family reunion — yes, I have, had, have, family in Texas — and during a stop at the Grand Canyon, I found a cassette — for you youngsters, go ahead  and Google that — called Linda Ronstadt: a Retrospective. On that cassette she sang everything from “I Fall To Pieces” to “Hobo” to “Faithless Love” to “Rock me On The Water” to “Blue Bayou”.

And, during those long straight stretches of highway when my Dad would let me take the wheel of the motorhome I would pop in that tape and play it back and forth, round and round, again, and again, until Dad took me off driving duty or someone in the family threatened to jump out.

Like I said, fanatic.

So I was ready to hear me some Linda this weekend, but as she was inducted by Glenn Frey, of The Eagles, he told the audience that Linda no longer travels, and a quick Googling this morning revealed it’s because she suffers from Parkinson’s. And because, well, she’s Linda Ronstadt so let’s have her tell why she’s not really all that upset about missing it.

"I haven't given it one thought, I have to say. It wasn't anything I ever thought about. I never thought of myself as a rock' n' roll singer; I sang it, (but) it's just one of the things I sang. I sang a lot of different stuff. I didn't go the last two times I was nominated for a Grammy, either. I don't have anything against it; you just don't do things for those reasons. If you're working for prizes, you're in trouble. There's nothing wrong with it. I don't mind it. It's just not anything I ever gave a thought to." 



Linda never wanted to be a star, though with her voice she couldn’t help herself; she just wanted to sing, and to sing whatever struck her fancy, no matter the genre.

And so she did, and she did them all to perfection.

But I digress — again, fanatic. See, as I waited for her to sing, and then heard she wasn’t even there, I was disappointed. Then, when I heard there would be some women who called Ronstadt an inspiration paying tribute I was intrigued. The first person was, and my heart sank, Carrie Underwood. Luckily, though, there would also be Stevie Nicks, Bonnie Raitt, Emmylou Harris and Sheryl, because, well, Carrie Underwood. 

Here's Stevie, Sheryl,  Bonnie, Emmylou and Carrie.

But, first we heard Carrie. Now, I don’t mind Miss Underwood. I think she’s passable, but a little too slick, not enough heart; glitter and heels and not at all Ronstadt. But, she came out first to sing “Different Drum” and she knocked that sh*t out. Toned down, no glam, no back singers, no pyrotechnics; just a voice.

And it was beautiful — not Ronstadt beautiful — but a beautiful tribute to a great singer.

Random Musings

St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral has become the first Episcopal Church in Oklahoma City to embrace same-sex unions, according to the Very Reverend Justin Lindstrom:

“We ask God to bless all types of relationships, and so for us to formally ask God to bless same gender couples seems very appropriate to this community.”

Meanwhile, Brian Hobbs, communications director for the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma, says Oklahoma Baptists believe marriage is the union between a man and a woman:

“Southern Baptists’ long-held position on the biblical meaning of marriage is well known. As recently as our annual meeting in November, Oklahoma Baptists reaffirmed marriage as the union of one man and one woman joined by God for life.”

Funny, then, that Southern Baptists aren't working to stop heterosexual divorce, but then i guess "their" God isn't so strict about that 'for life" mumbo-jumbo after all.

I love me some American Horror Story: Coven and Jessica Lange, but seriously, hasn't there always and ever been just the one Supreme?

It took a lawsuit, but the day after legally married, same-sex employees filed a federal lawsuit against the company, the National Railway Labor Conference, which represents the major railroad companies in the U.S., announced that they will begin providing health care benefits to same-sex spouses of their employees. 

Should equality really need a lawsuit?

So, last week was the big Sound of Music Live! event on NBC and people ripped Carrie Underwood a new one. No, not so much for the singing, but for the bad acting. But Carrie wasn't playing, and after reading some of the Tweets about her performance, she took to Twitter herself to say: 

The passages she noted , well, they're long and stuff, but boil it on down and it comes out like this: Haters will hate people of faith.

Except, I read some of those Tweets, and some were mildly hilarious and others were highly hilarious and some were downright mean, but not one mentioned anything about Carrie's faith, unless she's switched from Christianity to the Church of Method Acting.

Enough with the phony, Don't be mean to me because I'm a Christian Carrie; the dings were aimed at your laughably bad acting talent.

Talent. That's funny.

Last week, Rio De Janeiro became the 14th Brazilian state to legalize same-sex marriage and on that day over 130 couples married in a mass wedding at the state's Superior Court of Justice.

Snap.

What's all this made up BS about the "War on Christmas"?

There is no war, unless it's the war Christmas started on Thanksgiving, but that doesn't count because Christians were out shopping for new stuff right on the heels of giving thanks for all they have.

Here's the deal: Holidays is derived from Holy Days so when some says Happy Holidays there is actually a religious connotation to it, if you care to hear it. If not, maybe someones saying it because they don't know which, if any, faith you practice, and rather than insult you, they make a blanket statement that applies and appeals to everyone.

Except Christians who seem to think they are the one true faith.

You're not, so sit down. Oh, and Happy Holidays.

Speaking of a happy holiday ... howsabout that hot Santa on Glee last week? Bryce Johnson. Shirtless Santa. Shirtless gay, or at least sexually ambiguous, Santa.

Happy. Happy Holiday, indeed.

Color me wishing I had HBO.

Bette Midler, the Divine Miss M, is taking on the great Mae West, as both star and executive producer. William Friedkin [The Exorcist] who will direct and gay icon and legend Harvey Fierstein will write it.

The story will be based on West’s autobiography Goodness Had Nothing To Do With It and will chronicle Mae’s rise to stardom writing and starring in her scandalous Broadway show Sex.

I think Midler is perfect; short and curvy like West; bawdy like West.

This could be good.

Add one more high-profile political leader to the list of folks planning to boycott the Sochi Winter Olympics in Russia because that country is run by homophobes and closeted bigots. I'm looking at you Putin.

Now European Union commissioner Viviane Reding and German President Joachim Gauck will not be attending. While Gauck's decision is thought to be in response to Russia's human rights violations, Reding made it very clear that she won't be going because of how Russia treats its minorities:

I will certainly not go to Sochi as long as minorities are treated the way they are under the current Russian legislation.

Maybe we can get some folks to stay home. I know the Olympics won't be playing on my TV as long as the games are held in such a country. I'll read about them in the paper.

So, at this weeks Memorial to Nelson Mandela, where all sorts of world leaders were in attendance, President Obama shook hands with Cuban President, and brother of Fidel, Raul Castro, and the Teabaggers went nuts.

Because a man at a memorial shook the hand of another man at a memorial.

Oh yeah, one's black and one's a Communist.

So, yeah, there's that, too.

Random Musings

Last weekend we had The Three; when bad things—or in our case, not bad just inconvenient—happen they usually come in Threes:

Number One: we have a fake tree — I have a yard full of pine trees, real pine trees, so I don’t like the idea of cutting one down just to decorate it and then throw it out — and we were putting it up when we realized that only about ten-percent of the lights worked in spotty areas of the tree. So we made a note to get some more lights for the tree on our way out.

Number Two: on our way out, we pushed the button to open the garage door and the bar that attached the door to the track so the door can be raised, snapped off the door. The pin that held the bar to the door had broken. So, we stopped in at The Homo Depot for lights, a pin, and a couple of cotter pins to fix the door.

Number Three: upon returning home I made a sandwich and sat down to watch some TV. There was a giant green strip running down the TV splitting the picture 70/30.

Threes.

Sidenote: Good news. While we debated on having the TV repaired or buying a new one if it was too expensive, we checked with one of our Smallville TV repair shops. The owner told us to try our DVD player and see if the green stripe was there, and then to turn off the TV and all its components at the power surge switch for five minutes.

Guess what? No more stripe. Apparently it had something to do with the cable rebooting itself and so the TV had to reboot as well. And that fix was free thanks to the good folks at Hall TV Repair!

Big news in the Coming Out Department this week …

Tom Daley didn’t Come Out. As gay. He came out saying he was dating a man, but didn’t feel the need to label himself.

“One thing I consider to be pretty important is to have some form of private life and you're probably thinking 'well why did you do a book and why did you do a documentary and stuff' but I've only ever talked about things I feel comfortable talking about. …It’s one of those things where in an ideal world I shouldn’t be doing this video because it shouldn’t matter but recently I was misquoted in an interview and it made me feel really angry and frustrated. Emotions that I’ve never felt before when reading quotes about myself. 

Honesty, for me is something I really do believe in. And I’ve always been honest. I may have been vague in some of my answers, but one thing I’ve never felt that comfortable talking about are my relationships, because it is what I get asked even if I’m doing sporting interviews ‘do you have a girlfriend, who are you seeing’ all that sort of stuff. 

I mean, I've been dating girls and I've never really had a serious relationship to talk about. Now I kind of feel ready to talk about relationships. Come Spring this year, my life changed, massively, when I met someone and they make me feel so happy, so safe and everything just feels great. 

Well that someone is a guy. And it did take me by surprise a little bit. It was always in the back of my head that something like that could happen. But it wasn’t until spring this year that something just clicked, it felt right. And I was like: OK. 

Like I said, my whole world just changed right there and then. Of course, I still fancy girls, but right now I’m dating a guy and I couldn’t be happier. I feel safe and it just feels right. “

Lotsa folks, gay and straight, are annoyed that he didn’t say, with trumpets and flags, I’m gay but what does it matter to us. He said he found someone he loved and who made him feel safe and that someone is a man.

Good for Tom.

PS That secret someone didn’t stay secret for long, because it was revealed a day later to be none other than screenwriter and LGBT activist Dustin Lance Black.

Congrats to the happy couple.

Overheard at work:

Female coworker: “Wow, Bob, I like your new haircut.”

Bob: “I like yours too, though I do think Bette Davis wore it better in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?.

So the OMM—er, the One Million Moms … er, the 47,000 Moms to be accurate—is mighty pissed off at Macy’s for including a performance from the Broadway musical Kinky Boots during their annual parade:

“The annual tradition for family entertainment had a not-so-discrete agenda this time around. This year's parade chose to send a Politically Correct message, but their plan backfired and the statement they really sent to families is that Macy's cannot be trusted.

"Raise You Up" was not suitable for families for many reasons. The inappropriate act starred Kinky Boots, referencing a musical written to celebrate the differences in each other and included: (all) the men and women in thigh-high boots [mostly red pleather while others were sparkly "hooker" boots], a man in boxer shorts and men in burlesque and Moulin rouge costumes prancing around expressing themselves, RuPaul (famous drag queen) along with several men dressed in drag, transgender and transvestites, singing and dancing as an expression of "diversity" and honoring whatever sexuality you want.

The performance was sexually charged and quite offensive. Here are some, but not all of the lyrics to the song they chose to sing, to give you a better idea:

Accept yourself and you'll accept others too.Let love shine.Let pride be your guide.Change the world when you change your mind.Just be who you wanna be.You're beautiful; it's beautiful! 

Shame on Macy's for promoting this. We cannot trust Macy's Dept. Store any longer. This is the straw that broke the camel's back. It is clear that Macy's does not have our children's best interest in mind.

Macy's needs to know that trust must be earned and once trust is lost it is difficult to get back.”

A couple of things:

Those lyrics are offensive? Accept yourself? Have pride? You’re beautiful?

And, um, OMM, that wasn’t RuPaul, that was Tony winner Billy Porter. Not every Black man in drag is RuPaul.

So …. TV

Also at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade was a performance of the upcoming Live! TV airing of Carrie Underwood in The Sound of Music!

Except the performance was “I Am Sixteen Going On Seventeen” a cute, but kinda nonsensical choice. Why not have Carrie sing ♫♪ The hills are alive with the sound of music ♪♫ or ♫♪ Doe, a deer a female deer … etc ♪♫?

Well, maybe because we’d all be reminded that Carrie Underwood, while a capable singer, is no Julie Andrews.

I was reading that the new CBS show Mom was actually getting better. I watched the first episode — produced by the same dude that does 2.5 Men — and found it to be cheesy and dumb. But, hey, maybe changes were made, and I do like Ana Faris and Allison Janney, so I went back,

Cheesy and dumb.

Not nearly as cheesy and dumb as Kirstie Alley’s new show, Kirstie! With her former Cheers co-star Rhea Pearlman — trying not to be Carla — and former Seinfeld co-star Michael Richard — still playing Kramer … at least in the pilot.

Dumb.

Also in the Coming Out Department is actress Maria Bello who announced that she is, and has been in a relationship with a woman named Claire.

But, like Tom Daley, Bello isn’t saying she’s gay, she’s simply saying that she’s in love with a woman.

Do we need to hear the words? Do we need to label folks? Or, can we just be happy that people are in love?

Okay, it’s no secret that I loathe Mama Grizzly Bore™. I have since the moment McCain plucked her off the Alaskan tundra where she was looking at Russia to be his choice for Veep.

I loathe her ignorance; he aw shucks-itude; her holier than thou rollerness; and her stupidity.

And I loathe how she turns every anti-Obama speech she gives into something about slavery. She did that recently when talking about US debt to China, and said she wasn’t a racist but that’s what all racists say before they say racist things.

Then, Martin Bashir of MSNBC took her to task for the slavery remarks, and told vile stories of how slaves had been treated; including one where a slave who dared to talk back to his master was held down, his mouth opened, so another slave could defecate in his mouth.

Bashir thought MGB™ might deserve that same treatment.

And I thought he went too far; MGB™ is full of sh*t, there’s no doubt, but his analogy was wrong and stupid and insensitive. And it has apparently caused him to resign from his post at MSNBC following a so-called vacation from the airwaves.

I imagine the Mama Grizzly Bore™ is killing wolves and moose in celebration as we speak.

So, remember Dayna Morales, the gay server who said she got an anti-gay message on a credit card receipt in lieu of a tip?

Well, apparently she is out of a job. The Gallop Asian Bistro, where Morales worked, posted on their Facebook page that Dayna “is currently not on our employee schedule while (we) are still working to complete our investigation.”

I hope, if it turns out that Morales lied — and how hard would that be to prove, just look at the original receipt which the restaurant must still have — that Dayna gets kicked to the curb.

We have enough people in this country that hate us for being gay, we don’t need this kind of attention.