It's Snarkurday!

Bryan Singer is a well-known and respected director of films like The Usual Suspects and four of the X-Men films, but he’s also been the subject of a lot of rumors about how he abuses young men. Now, to be fair, it’s mostly whispers, like when actor Noah Galvin muttered something and then apologized about it last year, but there were a couple of lawsuits: Michael Egan filed sued Singer and two other men, accusing them of sexually abusing him when he was a minor, and a second suit by an unnamed British man claimed something similar, but nothing ever came of either story. Still, the rumors, and in the wake of Weinstein, Spacey, Lauer et al, people wondered when the other shoe would drop on Singer.

And maybe it has, or is about to, because Fox has unexpectedly halted production on Singer’s Queen biopic, Bohemian Rhapsody, due to the “unexpected unavailability” and “a personal health matter” for Singer; meaning no one knows where he is. Singer did not return to set after the Thanksgiving holiday, leaving producers nervous about the production and talking about potentially replacing him. So,is a story about to break? Stay tuned …

UPDATE:  Bryan Singer has been fired from Bohemian Rhapsody according to Twentieth Century Fox, because of a growing clash between Singer and actor Rami Malek—at whom Singer ALLEGEDLY threw something—and actor Tom Hollander, who plays Queen manager Jim Beach, who briefly quit the film due to Singer’s behavior, but was persuaded to return.

Singer has switched his story from a “personal health issue” to saying he is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder because of the tensions on the set. Now, I call bull shiz on that one since the tension on the set is mostly due to Singer’s behavior. But we’ll need to wait and see if there’s more there…

And there is … Singer is now being sued for the ALLEGED rape of a 17-year-old boy at a party on a yacht in Seattle in 2003. The suit claims it was a party populated by young gay males, including the plaintiff, Cesar Sanchez-Guzman, who says Singer offered to take him on a tour of the yacht. And when they got to a bedroom, Guzman says Singer thrust his body on Guzman, forced him to the floor, shoved Guzman’s face against his crotch and demanded he perform oral sex. Guzman says Singer pulled out his penis, smacked him in the face with it and forced it into his mouth. The suit goes on to ALLEGE that Singer forcibly performed oral sex on Guzman and also forcibly anally penetrated him.

Guzman says Singer told him that he was a producer in Hollywood and could help Cesar get into acting as long as Cesar never said anything about the incident; Singer also ALLEGEDLY said no one would believe him if he ever reported the incident, and that he could hire people who are capable of ruining someone’s reputation.

Singer is denying those claims, saying he is suffering health issues related to the stress he endured caring for an ill parent:

“I wanted nothing more than to be able to finish this project and help honor the legacy of Freddie Mercury and Queen, but Fox would not permit me to do so because I needed to temporarily put my health, and the health of my loved ones, first….Bohemian Rhapsody is a passion project of mine. With fewer than three weeks to shoot remaining, I asked Fox for some time off so I could return to the U.S. to deal with pressing health matters concerning one of my parents. This was a very taxing experience, which ultimately took a serious toll on my own health.  Unfortunately, the studio was unwilling to accommodate me and terminated my services. This was not my decision and it was beyond my control.”

And perhaps, the stress of an approaching lawsuit?

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Remember last week when Halle Berry said she was done with relationships and needed “a minute” for herself, and then took a new boyfriend, Alex da Kid, on vacation with her? 

Maybe she meant she wanted a one minute relationship because Halle dumped Alex on that vacation.

But wait, there’s another minute coming up …

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Nothing worse than a has-been actress, best known for the way her boobs bounced in slow motion and her marriages and divorces, speaking out about sexual abusers. Amirite Pamela Anderson?

It seems Pammy thinks Harvey Weinstein’s victims should have known better; known better than to go to a meeting their agent set up; known better than to have a conversation with a well-known producer; known better than to dress a certain way.  And, in an interview with Desperate Megyn Kelly, Anderson said:

“It was common knowledge that certain producers or certain people in Hollywood or people to avoid, privately. You know what you’re getting into if you’re going into a hotel room alone.”

Odd words coming from a woman who has detailed her own experiences with sexual abuse as a young actress, but she does go on:

“I know that Hollywood is very seductive and these people want to be famous. Sometimes you think you’re going to be safe with an adult in the room. I don’t know where this security comes from, but somehow I’ve dodged it all. I’ve been offered lots of things. A condo and a Porsche to be someone’s number one girl. I just naively said, ‘Well there must be a number two then, so I’m not interested.’ Money, homes, roles in movies. And I just didn’t want to do it that way. I had no desire. I’m a romantic and it didn’t appeal to me.”

So, you escaped being the victim of sexual assault, but you then blame any other woman who was a victim? Siddown, Has-Been.

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In another case of a sexual predator losing their job we have Danny Masterson, who was fired from the Netflix comedy, The Ranch, after stories broke that he raped four women years back.

Masterson’s firing comes amid the news that the LA County District Attorney and LA Police Department are investigating the allegations.

One thing I find troubling is that Masterson is a Scientologist and the Church Cult of Scientology has provided the LAPD with fifty affidavits, no doubt all given by Scientologists, that Masterson says proves he didn’t assault anyone.

And we know the Co$ doesn’t lie, right?

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And then there was Geraldo Rivera defending Matt Lauer after his story of being the Pervy Guy at NBC broke, and the world was reminded that Geraldo used to be, and might still be, a member of that same club.

In fact, the Divine Miss M, Bette Midler reminded him, and everyone else, of the time she accused Rivera of drugging and groping her.

See, in the 70s, Geraldo interviewed Bette and she claimed, way back in the 90s in a Barbara Walter’s interview, that Rivera and a producer shoved poppers under her nose and pushed her into the bathroom where they groped her. And now, in the light of Lauer and Rose and Keillor, Geraldo has come forward to apologize, sort of:

“27 years ago I wrote a tawdry book depicting consensual events in 1973-45 years ago-I’ve deeply regretted its distasteful & disrespectful tone & have refrained from speaking about it-I’m embarrassed & profoundly sorry to those mentioned-I have & again apologize to anyone offended. [And] although I recall the time [Midler] has alluded to much differently than she, that does not change the fact that she has a right to speak out & demand an apology from me, for in the very least, publically [sic] embarrassing her all those years ago. Bette, I apologize.”

Wow, so he admits he did it, but says it wasn’t exactly like she said? Take a seat alongside Pammy, Geraldo, and keep your hands to yourself.

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Matt Lauer, unemployed predator, has ALLEGEDLY decided to go after some coins from NBC by demanding a huge payout after the network fired him for his pervy ways. Lauer’s lawyers are working on a plan to snag $30 million for the Early Morning Predator since he had a year and a half left on his $20 million-a-year contract when he was canned.

So, he thinks he deserves it. Well, I say give it to him and let all the women he harassed, exploited, fondled, groped, and ridiculed all line up for a lawsuit seeking hundreds of millions in damages.

Matt? Go.Away. Like, um, your wife?

The current Missus Lauer, Annette Roque, is, and has been, out of the picture for years … probably about the time she realized her husband, despite all the coins, was a pervert.

It seems that they have been living apart since, well, the time she first filed for divorce amidst claims that he was emotionally abusive and cruel to her.

Sure, they eventually reconciled, but it appears they basically lived separate lives since then.

I’d like to add Annette’s name to the long list of women who should sue Lauer for every penny in his pocket.

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TV star—and I use the term loosely—Katherine McPhee, who is ALLEGEDLY dating decades older composer David Foster, accidentally crashed a weekend wedding in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, and was kicked out by the bride.

And McPhee, who was with producer pal Hilary Shor, decided to bash the bride on social media because that’s what grown folks do, you know.

Shor posted their snarky commentary about the incident to Instagram, calling the bride who denied the wedding crashers entry to her nuptials a “loser.”

One video, captioned “Bride Bitch,” shows McPhee in her room snottily noting:

“What bride does her own wedding security? If you’re doing your own security, you have a problem.”

I guess McPhee thought she could off a Beyoncé move, crashing a wedding and being welcomes, but McPhee is not Beyoncé, she’s, well, not really anyone.

Like I said, Grown Folks.

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Selena Gomez was honored by Billboard Magazine as their woman of the year but it was something Billboard did, something so horrible, which forced Gomez to close her Instagram account…

Selena was offended that the Billboard journalist saw a giant teddy bear in her house and wrote about it. And, before turning her account private, Gomez took to Instagram to vent:

“Never will I let another human guess my words ever again. Or invite them in my home. That is so hurtful. The most ‘ridiculous’ part of that is no one knowing my heart when I say things.”

Note to Billboard: teddy bears are off limits … especially when the “star” is so childish.

Update: A day after being Teddy Bear Offended, Gomez has once more opened the doors to her Instagram account, and tweens everywhere breathed a sigh of relief.

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Earlier, we had Katherine McPhee crashing a wedding and then acting the bitch on social media, and now we have Fergie getting Hot Mess Drunk at The Trevor Project’s TrevorLIVE L.A. Gala.

Fergie was seated at the head table next to Husband-In-My-Head Armie Hammer and the night’s honoree, Tom Ford and was getting her Happy on with fellow tablemates Elizabeth Chambers and Isla Fisher. But, when Armie got up to present Tom his award, Dronk Fergie made her move and actually walked onstage to interrupt him in what some thought was a planned move but quickly realized was a Liquor Induced Plan because Fergie started to sing … badly. Armie Hammer looked like he needed a shoulder to cry on and, damn, I wasn’t there!

Fergie finally left the stage and Armie gave the award to Ford but Fergie was far from done; when Shoshannah Bean took the stage to give the evening’s final performance, something happened, a technical glitch or something, and Fergie again made her move. She saw her victim, an unattended microphone, and leapt to the stage to croak out “A Little Work” and try to get the stunned audience to join in.

Many in the crowd were supportive of Fergie, and Isla and Elizabeth were recording her with their phones, but most people were stunned.

Look out partygoers, Fergie has a new album coming out and will apparently use any event to promote it … even when she’s not invited to do so.

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Fresh from jail after beating up her hsuabnd on the streets of a tiny West Virginia town, Naya Rivera flew back to LA and quickly filed for divorce from Ryan Dorsey for the second time.

Naya cited “irreconcilable differences” and is asking for joint legal and physical custody of their 2-year-old son Josey, and has asked the judge to block both of them from getting spousal support.

I guess she has some Glee coins left? The best part, though, is that Naya listed the date of their separation as November 24th, one day before she was arrested and charged with domestic battery for beating on Ryan during walk.

I guess they wanted one last walk, and one last punch, before ending it all?

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It's Snarkurday!

I guess when you TV show goes off the air you have to decide what to do with your life and in the case of former Glee co-star, and Lea Michele frenemy, Naya Rivera, the choice was to be a husband beater.

Rivera was arrested and charged with domestic battery this week in West Virginia after her husband, Ryan Dorsey says she started slapping him around while they were taking their two-year-old son Josey for a walk. I can see that memory ingrained in the child’s head: I saw Mommy beat the crap outta Daddy on an evening stroll.

Anyway, police were called and when they arrived on scene Ryan told them that Naya had “struck him in the head and the bottom lip” during their family outing. He even produced a cell phone video of the assault.

Naya was arraigned, her bond was set at $1000, and then Ryan’s Daddy came and picked her up from jail. Well, it is West Virginia, so it doesn’t get a lot more hillbilly. And who knew, after Glee, that Naya’s next film appearance would be grainy cell phone video of her beating up her husband?

Lea Michele, that’s who.

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There was big news in the HGTV world earlier this year when the Shiplap King and Queen, Chip and Joanna Gaines of Fixer Upper fame, announced that this would be the last season of their hit show because they were going to take a breather and spend more time with their family.

Rumors swirled of trouble in the marriage, trouble at home, trouble at The Silos—you’d know if you watched—but maybe it’s not trouble it’s just that they angling for more coins.

It now appears that Chip and Joanna were quitting HGTV until Discovery could buy Scripps—HGTV’s parent company—and then Discovery would open up the wallet and coins would rain down on the Gaines’. See, Chipper and JoJo had ALLEGEDLY been battling with HGTV for a while about how they would only “fixer upper” if the new version of the home was full of their Magnolia merch. HGTV wasn’t keen on it, and the Gaines’ walked … 

Until Discovery scoops up the show and then they’ll be back with more shiplap, more metal letters on the wall and more money in their bank account.

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Oh Ivana Ivana Ivana. Every time she does an interview you wonder what she’ll say; sure, since her ex became the Fat Bastard she walked back those ALLEGATIONS that he once raped her, but she does like to throw shade at the third Missus Fat Bastard. And she drags Donny and Mellie every chance she gets, like a few months ago when she called herself the real First Lady and Melania’s face nearly cracked in two.

Ivana recently appeared on the Irish talk show The Ray D’Arcy Show and couldn’t resist the opportunity to remind us all that she is The First Wife and Baby Mama. Then Ray, who knows when to strike, asked Ivana about that whole “First Lady” snark and he asked Ivana how Melania is doing as First Lady:

“I thinks she's trying her best.”

Maybe that explains why Melania decorated the White House for Christmas with a Hall of Horrors and a witch’s cauldron in the East Room where she’s learning how to drown a Voo Doo doll of Ivana.

And least “I thinks’ so.

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Halle Berry recently broke up another of her marriages with French actor Olivier Martinez and declared that she would be single for a while and taking some Me Time. And she did, for a hot second; she spent some time in India on a spiritual retreat. But when Thanksgiving rolled around and Halle took off for Bora Bora, she didn’t go it alone, and she didn’t go with her children. She went with 35-year-old music producer Alex da Kid.

To be fair, Halle announced she had a new boyfriend via Instagram in September, but that was just a couple of weeks after she gave an interview to People where she said she was on a dating hiatus and wanted a “minute to be with myself.” 

Minute was right.

And I imagine Halle will be getting married again real soon and then getting divorced real soon after that and taking another minute.

PS Is it just me or does Halle look like she’s being taken hostage by her new beau in that photo?

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Don’t mess with Beyoncé. And don’t call your company Feyoncé Inc. because Bey will slap a lawsuit down on you so hard you’ll feel like you were Jay Z and you’d just been caught cheating again … or found yourself in an elevator with Solange.

Feyoncé produced a line of engagement-themed mugs and shirts featuring the word “feyoncé” in Beyoncé’s preferred typeface—one that, apparently, no one else on the planet is allowed to use—and Beyoncé sued faster that you can say I wanted that Grammy they gave to Adele.

Now Beyoncé doesn’t have a trademark on the word feyoncé, so she had her lawyers claim it’s a blatant allusion to her song “Single Ladies” … huh, what, huh … and Feyoncé Inc. responded by saying their website doesn’t mention Beyoncé, and they don’t market themselves as having any association with her … well, except for, you know, selling mugs that say “He put a ring on it” under a word that looks suspiciously like Beyoncé’s name.

But, as for their name, Feyoncé claims it’s simply a phonetic way of spelling “fiancé” and they are calling Queen Bey a “bully” who feels her famous name entitles her to take pennies from their pockets. Feyoncé Inc. also argued that no one would ever confuse Beyoncé’s expensive merchandise with their, ahem, cheaper goods:

“Beyoncé products consist of expensive products with sophisticated consumers. This factor weighs against a likelihood of confusion because the customers are highly sophisticated and would exercise heightened care before purchasing the goods of defendants.”

Wow; they dog Beyoncé by misappropriating her font and misappropriating a line from one of her songs—a line no one else in the history of the world has ever uttered—and they dog their own clients as cheap.

I’m loving it.

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So Mariah Carey dated billionaire James Packer for about nine months—in fact, she was engaged to the man—until it all fell apart one night when he saw her eating a chicken, bones and all.

Well, maybe not, but still … Mariah felt she deserved some coins for her time spent as Packer’s fiancé, not to be confused with feyoncé, and  she sued him for the breakup.

Yes, she did. She first asked for fifty million dollars because she moved to LA to be near him and she doesn’t do LA., and this week a settlement was reached: Mimi gets to keep the million dollar ring and Packer is paying her somewhere between $5 and $10 million dollars in settlement for a marriage that never happened.

Even on the lower end of the settlement—the five mil—Mariah made about $1800 a day for the duration of their relationship which finally proves my point that Mariah Carey is the highest paid hooker on the planet.

I cannot wait for the say she breaks up with backup dancer Bryan Tanaka and sues him for a bag of Doritos. And wins.

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This was the week of morning show dudes accused, and fired, for sexual harassment. We started with Charlie Rose and then switched almost gleefully into smug Matt Lauer.

CBS and NBC down; who’s the perv at ABC?

Apparently Matty sexually assaulted a female staffer during the Sochi Olympic Games in 2014; he apparently thought luge meant lewd, and the ski jump was ski hump. But, after all the recent developments, the woman went to NBC HR with her story, which was enough to kick Lauer’s ass to the curb, but presented them with other evidence of his behavior toward other women.

But, before we all say Good for NBC maybe think that the network was just trying to save face and get ahead of the news that was coming since, ALLEGEDLY, CNN, The New York Times and Variety had stories pending about Lauer.

Which, and this is where I get pissed, a lot of people knew or suspected that Matty was showing off Little Matty to female staffers—after locking them in his office with a button hidden under his desk—and making lewd comments while on camera and wearing a live mic.

Seriously, several years ago Lauer was caught, on camera, ogling a female on the set and saying, “I love that sweater, Bend over some more.”

So clearly NBC knew their perv was Lauer, but since Middle America liked him why not let some women fall victim to his lewd comments and sex toy giftage.

Sorry, Matt, not sorry. I hope you never work again.

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Oh JLaw, you’re a big star now, though your last couple of films have bombed … careful on the way down … and yet you still don’t know who pays your bills.

We The Public.

Apparently Jennifer Lawrence has admitted to being a bitch to fans because, you know, she cannot be bothered to smile, say hello, listen to a compliment, or pause for a selfie, and will do whatever it takes to avoid that, like …

“Once I enter a public place, I become incredibly rude. I turn into a huge asshole. That’s kind of like my only way of defending myself, is just being like, an asshole. Like, see somebody walking towards my table, and just go [wags finger no], or like ‘Can I have a selfie?’ and I’m like ‘No!’ That’s like my only defense.”

True, JLaw doesn’t always act the rude bitch; sometimes, after she shrieks “NO PHOTOS.’ She mutters something about it being her day off.

But, and this is where she doesn’t get it: those people asking for an autograph, or saying Hello, or wanting a picture, are the people who buys tickets to see her movies, and when acts all C U Next Tuesday to her fans, she’s only cutting off her nose to spite her face because once she’s pissed off enough fans, er, former, fans, she’ll be back at The Gap folding t-shirts and begging Selena Gomez for a photo.

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It's Snarkurday!

After last week’s ALLEGED shooting, or at least hostage-taking, incident at Chris Brown’s house, he announced he was done with partying at home.

I guess that means all the criminal activity will go back to the streets? Or maybe at USC; see, this week Chris showed up at Power 106’s annual All-Star Celebrity Basketball Game yesterday at USC started off refusing to stand for the National Anthem — he’s a dick, you know, but that’s his right, right?

But, rather than keeping his mouth shut during the anthem, Brown laughed with his friends and made faces at people because, you know, not an adult. And then he started a fight with a stranger because he believed the person was sitting where they shouldn’t sit … which would be near Chris Brown.

Eventually the police got involved and broke up the fight before Chris could go Full Metal Brown on anyone, but it begs the question: if he’s not gonna stay home and party do we need more police on the streets to protect strangers from this little bitch and his ego?

To prove that she’s not all brokenhearted over her break-up of her “fauxmance” with Tom Hiddleston, Taylor Swift went out last night … with a girlfriend who was on a date with her boyfriend.

I guess if she can’t get and keep a man, she’ll just go Third Wheel on your date.

Remember when music service Tidal hit last year and everyone was all, Ooh, Jay Z and Bey are the King and Queen of all things? Yeah, not so much. It’s ALLEGEDLY a disaster.

Tidal has let go of its CEO and 25 employees and then began firing others, and so now, Jay Z is said to be suing Tidal’s previous owners for inflating the number of subscribers they claimed they had.

Um, it’s called due diligence, Jay, meaning you should’a looked into it before you decided to make millions off it. Maybe you would have seen no subscribers and the millions of dollars lost last year.  And maybe you and Bey wouldn’t have to be downsizing from the gold chains and the weaves about now.

Amber Heard’s friend, the oddly named iO Tillett Wright has been dogging Johnny Depp all the way through the mess of Amber and Johnny’s marriage and divorce, even writing an essay about it last June.

iO said he lived with Amber and Johnny for about a year, and knew Johnny to be a gentle soul with a temper until drunken and drugged Jonny went nuts. And now iO is saying that it actually cost Amber money to be married to Johnny.

iO ALLEGEDLY is still very close with Amber but not so much with Johnny — shocking, right? — but says that when this d-i-saster of a marriage was finally allowed to die, and Amber was given $7 million — which she says she gave away to charity — iO is saying that never happened and that poor Amber had to pay all of her own legal fees.

Poor Amber. A couple of years ago no one even knew her name and now she’s all the rage, so if she had to pay her own legal bills to get out of her marriage, too bad, and if she didn’t get the $7 million, maybe she should have waited to give it all away and paid her own bills.

Back in 2015, Drake appeared on a track by Future called “Where Ya At” in which he rapped:

“I’ll buy the neighbor’s house if they complain about the noise.”

And apparently that’s true;  Drake bought a seven-bedroom mansion four years ago and this summer he bought the four-bedroom house next door.

Now, I dunno if he bought the house because the neighbors complained, but I would like to know if he wants to buy the house next to me, play his music loud and then buy my house.

Earlier we discussed Third Wheel Swifty going on date’s with her BFFs and their boyfriends and it looks like that is over before it became a habit … and an album of teenage angsty songs.

See, Swifty wants a new man and, like she did with Tom Hiddleston—setting her sights on him and hunting him down like a dentist on safari — Taylor Swift now wants Zac Efron.

A source — and you know it’s Swifty — says,“[Swift] has been talking about him nonstop since her breakup with Tom. She’s always said she feels a strong connection to Zac, but could never act on it because they’ve always been dating other people.”

Except when Calvin dumped her and she bagged Hiddleston; I guess Zac wasn’t on her radar then?

Seriously, isn’t there a law against serial murder, because Taylor Swift and her constant dating and breakups are murdering all of us with the "music" it makes.

For his part, though, Zac Efron is said to have gone into hiding until Taylor spots something shiny and loses interest in him.

So, Naya Rivera, formerly of Glee before she was fired, not-fired, doesn’t have much going on so she write a book! And she is spilling the tea.

In  2014, Naya was dating Big Sean — they were Kim and Kanye Lite — until their relationship ended because Big Sean liked to let Little Sean out to play … ALLEGEDLY.

But, right after breaking up with Naya, Big Sean started dating pipsqueaker, donut-licker Ariana Grande and in her new book, Sorry, Not Sorry, Naya is telling all about it.

Naya says she and Big Sean had been fighting for five days straight while he was away and when he returned home she went to see him, though he didn’t let her into his house; well, she sued her keys and says she walked into his home and spotted a “little girl” … oh, the shade of it all … on the couch listening to music.  Naya won’t say the girl’s name but actually did say it rhymes with, wait for it, “Smariana Schmande.”

Smariana Schmande! I love it.

And Naya also dishes on her former Glee co-star Smea Smichele — okay, she calls her out by her real name Lea Michelle — and admits they weren’t friend, especially after Naya’s role on the show became more prominent:

“As the show progressed, though, that friendship started to break down, especially as Santana moved from a background character to one with bigger plot lines and more screen time. I think Rachel – erm, I mean Lea – didn’t like sharing the spotlight … Lea and I definitely weren’t the best of friends, and I doubt we’ll ever sit on her couch and eat kale together again, but the rumors of our ‘feud’ were blown out of proportion.”

Yeah, I don’t think so. I think Smea Smichele might join forces with Smariana Schmande and do a Naya Rivera take-down.

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Oh, hell to the No-prah. Lindsay Lohan took a giant payday and then failed to deliver as promised though she kept the money?

Indeed, it's true; Lindsay Lohan has turned out to be a losing bet for Oprah’s OWN network because, not only did her reality show docu-series fail to score big ratings — in fact it was often trumped by SpongeBob Squarepants — now an OWN insider — either Gayle King or Oprah's personal cupcake feeder—says:

"Lindsay agreed to be authentic and give the cameras full access to her life, but she didn’t. Instead, she didn’t film when she agreed to, did almost no publicity for the show and was drinking since almost day one of filming.”

And so now it looks like the once in-the-works Season Two of Lindsay will never, ever happen. See, the Big O was planning on renewing Lindsay’s reality show  docu-series if it turned out to be a success, but even the premiere was a bust, seen by just 700,000 viewers, which may seem like a lot, until you realize that reruns of The Big Bang Theory — re-effing-runs — average about 4 million viewers.  Lindsay was more like infomercial numbers, though most people ain’t buying what she’s selling.

And so it sounds like soon-to-be-out-of-work Lindsay can keep doing the sit-com-guest-shot career, though she might wanna hurry because her last appearance, on CBS’ 2 Broke Girls, was their lowest-rated episode of the season. In fact, as I saw promos several times before that 2BG episode aired, and not once was the name Lindsay Lohan uttered as a guest star; you only got a brief glimpse of her.

Huh. Sounds like just another day in her, ahem, career.

The Tale of Two Rings.

After consciously uncoupling last month from Gwyneth 'Is This My Head Or Is It A Macy's Parade Balloon' Paltrow, Chris Martin went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame without his wedding ring on and apparently had a grand time. 

Meanwhile, Poor Gwynnie is traipsing all over LA flashing her wedding band, like she's trying to make it seem like Chris is the one who wanted to uncouple, and boasting to pals that she STILL has Martin wrapped around her finger, and if she wanted him back, she'd have him back.

But Chris is telling friends that Gwyneth is so self-involved that she believed she was more evolved than him, and so she could better emotionally handle screwing other men while maintaining the picture of a happy marriage to her public.

My take: they've both been banging whomever they've wanted to for years only now, from what I hear, though rumor has it that Chris Martin might have actually fallen in love with one of his trysts and that sparked the uncoupling.

Uncoupling. It still makes me giggle.

Shortly after Johnny Weir returned from the Sochi games, everything fell apart in his marriage in spectacular fashion. Chronologically, just before Weir left for the Olympics, his husband Victor Voronov accused him of assault, only to drop the charges, and that was when Johnny announced they were splitting up.

Then it got crazy. Johnny and Victor both lobbed accusations at one another; Johnny claimed Victor assaulted him, and added that Victor was trying to blackmail him with some old nude photos of Johnny that Victor had taken; and there was talk of emotional abuse, and who got the purses and, well, it was a mess.

I say was, because now, unlike Gwynnie and Chris, Johnny and Victor are consciously recoupling.

Over the weekend Victor and Johnny agreed to reconcile and Johnny plans to move back into the family home this week, though there are some strings; Victor wants Johnny to sign a document agreeing to publicly apologize for all the nasty things he said about Victor, and Johnny must also agree in writing that he will no longer let his mother meddle in the marriage and will her nose out of their finances.

It's a post-pre-nup, I guess.

Dina's guilty, y'all. Yup, earlier this week Dina Lohan set down her box of wine long enough to appear in court and admit to being a drunk who drives.

Shocking though, that unlike her daughter she didn't find a way to blame it on literally everyone else, including, but not limited to, Franzia, the city of New York, the Long Island Expressway, any and all cars ever made, or me.

Since it was Dina's first DUI, the judge gave her 100 hours of community service and she’ll have to take a DUI class, though, if she's anything like Lindsay she won't do either and then go to court with the words 'F**k you' painted on her talons.

Her license was also revoked, and an interlock will be put in her car and she’ll have to pay a bunch of fines, so hopefully Lindsay can scam another TV show into giving her a guest shot because all that Oprah money is gone and Mama needs to stay out of the Big House.

Miley Cyrus had to cancel a concert in Kansas City this week because she was rushed to the hospital with an :::cough cough::: “allergic reaction”  to some antibiotics she was on, and not any kind of drug or alcohol related issue no matter what anyone says.

Now, who would like to buy a bridge?

The hospitalization comes on the heels of Miley's beloved dog, Floyd, dying, and then her Mama sending a new dog in to take the place of the old one without bothering to get an identical dog so Miley would never be the wiser. Sheesh, has this woman never seen The Brady Bunch? You always replace a dead pet with an identical looking one so no one knows Floyd died.

But, Miley knew it wasn't the same dog so she instantly gave it away and then ALLEGEDLY partied away her pain which lead to "antibiotic allergies."

Still, while Miley may have been rushed to the hospital because of a reaction to antibiotics, it seems the reason she was on the meds in the first place was because she wore herself down by partying extra hard since her dog was taken to a farm where he could run around in an open meadow. 

Yeah; that's easier to buy than an allergic reaction to penicillin.

I don’t watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta because those women are so trashy, but every so often I peek in on the reunion show to watch all the drama balled up into a neat little package.

Well, this seasons’ reunion might be better than a Jersey Table Flip because it seems that one of the “housewives,” Porsha Stewart [right] found herself arrested for assault after attacking Twirling Kenya Moore [left] during a reunion taping.

And Andy Cohen who never met drama he didn’t want to sign to a contract, says:

“To me, it came out of nowhere. The other women felt that Kenya kind of provoked her a little bit and was provoking her. I think I was just so shocked and so surprised, and I was just really upset. I don’t want that happen. I think it’s gross, and I think it’s just totally inappropriate, it’s wrong, it’s not entertaining. It’s just bad.”

Yet he’s airing it and talking about it. But he did give Porsha her pink slip for the attack, so maybe he’s sorry about it, or maybe he’s angry she didn’t attack all the women.

When Kim Kardashian and Beyoncé Knowles were both spotted leaving the same L.A. dermatologist on the same day last week, fans wondered if they’d finally bonded during a girls’ day out. But it appears that the dual skin appointments were just an accident, because ain’t no way Beyoncé is gonna hang with the Kash Kow no matter how much Kanye begs.

She ain’t gonna fold like Anna Wintour, y’all.

Apparently,when Kash Kow arrived at the doctor’s office, she “seemed so excited to see Beyoncé and ran over to her like an eager puppy, but Beyoncé looked like she wanted nothing to do with Kim and was really trying to stay away from her.

To be fair, the two women did have a brief chat — though I guess it was mostly Beyoncé saying, ‘Sorry. Who are you again? — about their respective oddly named children, Green Hydrangea and WestCoast thought the attempt to bond over mommyhood was not exactly well-received.

Beyoncé looked like she couldn’t have cared less,” a source — possibly That Woman, in for her weekly lamb placenta facial — says. “It seemed so clear that she did not want to talk with Kim and was just being polite to her. They really didn’t look at all like friends.”

And why would they be? Beyoncé, Jay Z, and, yes, even Kanye, are entertainers and performers who’ve based their careers on talent and drive.

Kim based her career on being able to lie on her back with her heels to God.

A not so Glee-filled set? Rumors are flying that Lea Michele — who considers herself the star of Glee — and Naya Rivera are battling divas both on-camera and off.

The Naya Fans say that Lea held up production while she dealt with a 'personal issue,' and Naya went to the producers to complain about the hold up. Well, Lea heard about this and dramatically exited stage left and never came back to the set.

The Lea Fans naturally have a different story. They say that Lea and Naya weren’t even shooting scenes together when she asked for a break, and never knew Naya complained about her. But, the Lea Fans say that it was Naya who was kicked off the set and was subsequently fired, though Team Naya says ain’t never happened.

Still, there was an interesting Blind Item circulating around the net this week which might help explain all the drama:

There was a TV actress who broke up with her musician boyfriend after she read text messages on his phone between him and one of her co-stars whom he ALLEGEDLY screwed on the side. While both sides are spinning their own ‘truth’ publicly, we do know that there are two facts that both sides privately acknowledge as being true:

#1: She broke up with him; and

B: She ended it because he cheated.

It seems kinda clear that this blind item is about Naya and Big Sean who recently broke off their engagement, and most people suspect that Sean was banging on Lea’s door which may, or may not, have lead to one diva, or the other, walking off the set.

Stay tuned. And maybe stay tuned to Glee because their ratings are way down and they either need better stories or some hot gossip to keep folks interested.