Bobservations

I have a morbid sense of humor and I love it; some folks, though, do not.

As y’all know, Gloria passed away last week, but she had been in declining health for several weeks before that. While we were in Oregon, we were having lunch in Portland and Carlos got a call from a Family Member. Family Member told Carlos Gloria was dying, and did he want to say his last goodbye; he did, and then I did. And then he and I sat in the restaurant and cried.

Thing was, Gloria did not die. A few days later Family Member called again; Gloria’s breathing was very shallow, she seemed to be unconscious, and her blood pressure was falling. We once again got on the phone and told her we loved her and all that she meant to us, and then we cried again.

And again, Gloria did not die. Family Member called us on two other occasions to tell us The End Was Near only to find out it was not. I reminded Carlos that Gloria never really liked Family Member, and that perhaps Gloria, because she was La Bruja , was feigning the dying, just to irk the Family Member.

And I may have been right, because the day Gloria passed, Family Member called us in the morning to say that Gloria had slept well, eaten a little something, and seemed to be very comfortable.

A few hours later she passed.

She went on her own timetable, her own terms, and not the one set by Family Member . I will love that forever.

Even Tuxedo can see that the GOP doesn’t run for office on what they can do for you, but they run on fear and scare tactics and threats that disappear as soon as the ballots are counted.

Rightwingnut and anti-vaxxer loon Sherri Tenpenny was one of the asshats at the ReAwaken America rally held last weekend at right-wing pastor John Hagee’s Cornerstone Church in Texas.

And how, other than being a rightwingnut and anti-vaxxer loon, do we know Tenpenny is a nut? Well, at that rally she called giving vaccines to children an effort to carry out “very, very, very, very late-term abortion.”

"Late term" as in five to thirteen years after the child is born. Seriously.

The Wyoming GOP has voted to no longer recognize Liz Cheney as a Republican because she is not a traitor to her country and a minion of Thing 45. On the other hand, the Wyoming GOP has no issue whatsoever with Paul Gosar, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert and Matt Gaetz.

That speaks volumes. 

As traitors and insurrectionists and rightwing snowflakes ransacked the Capitol on January 6, and Thing 45 stood watching and getting a wee orange woody in his pants, both Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin each thought about using the 25th Amendment to remove him from office.

The only trouble was that, by January 6, it was too late because it would have taken too long and the inauguration would have happened before Thing 45 was removed.

Now neither Pompeo nor Mnuchin will comment because … little bitches.

ABC News reporter Jonathan Karl's new book, Betrayal, gives an account of the final days Thing 45s administration and we learn how tone deaf and complicit the Feckless C*nt and her Eunuch behaved.

Ivanka and Jared had a dinner party at their home the night after the insurrection and never made a single mention of what happened the day before. Why? It appears it was because Ivanka hoped that by ignoring it she could set herself apart from it and one day run for President herself.

Feckless C*nt.

I can’t look at this and not laugh. This is an actual ad for condoms that has been appearing in Brazilian magazines and posters and on TV. It’s perfection.

Marjorie Taylor Greene says Speaker Pelosi has fined her over $60,500 in mask fines. She still refuses to wear a mask and is not vaccinated and seems proud to stand against the tide. But, when this asshat travels by plane, she is fully masked inside the airport and on the flight to avoid being removed from the flight and arrested.

She is, again, a pandering, lying hypocritical POS.

Just so we're clear that the judge in the Kenosha Murderer’s case is a biased racist fuckmonkey, remember that he dismissed the charge of  "possession of a dangerous weapon by a person under 18" even though the murderer was 17 when he killed two people in cold blood.

In this week’s edition of Would You Hit It we feature Anton Lap, a model, dancer, photographer and fitness trainer.

Would. You. Hit. It. Yes or No?

Goodbye My Tia

Our beloved Tia Gloria passed away on Saturday at the age of 95, after a short fight with cancer. I think she knew she had little time left, which was why she didn’t really put up a fight when Carlos wanted her to move back into the family home. This way she was surrounded by family as her health declined, and family was in the room with her as she breathed her last breath.

Gloria was a force … her brother, Carlos’ father, called her a witch, and not in the bitchy kind of way, but an actual witch. She was often called La Bruja, the witch, and it was a title she loved. But, like in Oz, she was a Good Witch not a Bad Witch.

Other than Carlos, Gloria was my first friend in Miami, and when I went to meet my future husband—though I didn’t know that at the time—and he had to work, she would take me around Miami, Over to Calle Ocho, and down to Little Havana; Coral Gables; Coconut Grove; Homestead. She took me to La Carreta where I had my first Caldo Gallego, and to this day when we go back, our first stop is La Carreta and that delicious Chicken Soup.

She took me to The Breakers in Palm Beach for a fancy lunch, and as we sat down, she asked me if I thought we should have a drink. I figured I’d let her set the tone and was prepared for her to order a White Zinfandel or a Strawberry Daiquiri or something. But La Bruja ordered a Kamikaze, and we toasted to our new friendship.

When I returned to Miami a few months later and began life with Carlos, she gave me a baseball cap, emblazoned with the word Angelito, because, to her she said, I was a Little Angel. OH, she came to find out I wasn’t so angelic, but to her I was always Angelito, and Carlos because The Other One.

She instantly made me a part of her family, and she instantly became my Tia. She eventually moved back to Mexico City but often came for visit, and when we moved to South Carolina, she would visit us here. Gloria’s favorite holiday was Thanksgiving—she loved the food and family, the same things I cherish—but as she was getting older, November in Camden was a bit cold. So, we would invite her up in March, as the weather here was turning warmer, for her birthday, and we would make her birthday dinner of turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and pumpkin cheesecake. That’s my favorite memory of Gloria, smiling as we settled around the table and gave thanks to our Tia Bruja.

As with her life, Gloria’s death came on her own terms and when she was ready to go. We spoke every day, told we loved her, we would miss her, and that she could go when she was ready.

Last Saturday she was ready; she was holding the hand of a family member and closed her eyes for the last time. She was one of my first friends in Miami and became one of my treasured family members and I will miss her something awful.

I will miss her calls on my birthday and hearing her sing Happy Birthday through the phone. I will miss calling her on her birthday, and telling her that I really meant happy birthday, but if I sang, it wouldn’t be such a good thing.

Goodbye my friend …Rest In Peace.

Bobservations

When Carlos was dealing with moving his Aunt Gloria back to the family home in Mexico City, the hardest call he had to make was to Gloria to tell her. Even at 95, she’s feisty and conniving, and told Carlos that if anyone tried to take her out of the house in Salvatierra she would call the police. Carlos replied:

“Good, they can help get you into the car.”

The good news is that she was neither feisty or conniving and did not call the police, but went nicely, and even bought dinner for the family members taking her home. We spoke with her Tuesday morning and she’s seemed happy and glad to be back with her sister-in-law and a great-nice.

Hopefully, she will thrive back at home.

Tuxedo just wants Travis Tritt to hear two words: Eric Clapton. He also opposed mandates until he realized he wouldn’t be making as much money by cancelling shows.

Take a seat Travis Karen. 

Did you ever wonder if arm wrestling wasn’t invented so men could hold hands and stare into one another’s eyes?

I have.

The GOP said Bill Clinton would make the country socialist during his eight years in office? The GOP said Obama would do the same during his eight years as president? The GOP said the same about Biden.

Anyone on the right care to explain why, after 16+ years America is not a socialist country despite all their fearmongering?

Oh yeah, lies.

Timothy Hale-Cusanelli, an Army reservist charged in the January 6 insurrection, has been demoted and discharged from the reserves.

One look at that face should have been clue enough.

Facebook is planning to change its company name next week to reflect its focus on building the metaverse.

I suggest LieBook …MisinformationBook … FuckMarkZuckerbergBook.

At a retreat for the National Republican Senatorial Committee last week, Thing 45 railed about the witch hunt and, even though no one  asked, made sure to tell the crowd he is not  into golden showers:

“It was all phony shit, ok. I’m not into golden showers. You know the great thing, our great First Lady — ‘That one,’ she said, ‘I don’t believe that one.’”

She doesn’t believe that one.

ESPN college football and basketball reporter Allison Williams is leaving the network over parent company Disney’s COVID-19 vaccine mandate.

Good. Bye.

Daniel Rodriguez, the Thing 45 loon who stormed the Capitol on January 6 and was arrested for electroshocking D.C. Metropolitan Police Officer Mike Fanone a month after he was identified spilled his guts to the FBI after his arrest, repeatedly crying as he told special agents he was a “fucking piece of shit.”

He got one thing right.

Assistant Health Secretary Dr. Rachel Levine, the first out trans Senate-confirmed official in US history, was sworn in as Four-Star Admiral in the US Public Health Service Commissioned Corps., becoming the first out trans four-star officer in US history.

This additional honorific makes her not only the highest ranking official in the US Public Health Service, but it also makes her the first woman to get four-stars in the service.

The march goes on …

In this week’s edition of Would You Hit It we have Alabama born Southern gentleman Clint Mauro, a tall drink of water.

So, the question is: Would You Hit It? Yes or No.

Aaaaaaaaah

The houseguests have left and the house is back in order. It's always nice to have visitors, and it's nice to have visitors......leave. A great visit, lots of fun and good food and drink, but now it's back to what Carlos and I call 'normal'.
His Aunt Gloria, who lived in Miami for many years before retiring back to Mexico City, arrived last week with her friend, Luz Maria, for a week-long stay. Carlos calls Gloria his 'Second Mother' and, one day this week while she and I were chatting, she told me that Carlos is the 'Son of Her Heart.' Very sweet way to put it.
Gloria has always loved hearing Carlos play the trumpet, so she planned her visit to coincide with the Camden community Band's Winter Concert to hear Carlos play. It also didn't hurt that the visit would include the day of her 83rd birthday.
Eighty-effing-three. Amazing. And she still drives. In Mexico City. Where traffic is a nightmare of epic proportions.

For her birthday we took the ladies up to Biltmore in Asheville. I thought she'd been before, but it was her first visit and she was thrilled to tour the house and gardens--and, as thrilled as I was to do some wine-tasting. Hopefully, when she comes for another visit, we can tour the house in Spring, when the flowers are blooming, or in the Fall, when the leaves are turning. And, well, Christmas is beautiful there, too.
One of Gloria's favorite holidays is Thanksgiving, which she began to celebrate after moving from Mexico to Miami. She loves the turkey and every single thing that goes along with it. But, sadly, her last visit here, for a Thanksgiving--several years back--was so cold that she was miserable. So, we told her that since Thanksgiving is about appreciating and enjoying many things in life, like family, that we could have a Thanksgiving Dinner whenever we wanted one. Which we did, on her birthday.

So, Thanksgiving in March-slash-Tia Gloria's Big 83 was a wonderful meal. Turkey. Stuffing. Gravy. Homemade cranberry sauce. Margaritas and Mediterranean Sidecars, and wine. And good friends David and Neal, along with David's sister, Barbara. Such a great meal, after which Carlos presented the aunt he calls 'La Bruja'--the witch--with an actual witch for her birthday. And she loved it. And loved touring Smallville, and the surrounding Smallvilles, as well as going in to Carlos' job and meeting his co-workers.
All in all, a lovely, lovely visit.

I'm still getting teary over that whole 'Son of My Heart' business.

Checking In.....

Just a quick drive-by this morning.

The houseguests--Carlos' Aunt Gloria and her friend Luz Maria--have been here since Friday and having a lovely time. Gloria came for two, maybe three reasons. 

Carlos started playing trumpet with the Smallville Community Band and they were having a Winter Concert last Sunday. She's always loved listening to Carlos play, so she definitely wanted to see that. 

In addition, she loves Thanksgiving, but November in Smallville is too cold for her, so we told her we'd have Thanksgiving Dinner whenever she comes; and luckily, except for a trip to Asheville yesterday where we got some snow--our Smallville weather will be perfect.

Thirdly, and more importantly, tomorrow is Tia Gloria's 83rd birthday. So, our "Thanksgiving" will be for celebrating that. Around the way gays, Neal and David, as well as David's sister Barbara, will be joining the celebration.

Yesterday, also as a birthday gift, we took The Ladies to the Biltmore Estate in Asheville. They had never been before and loved touring the house and gardens, and, of course, doing some Biltmore Wine Tasting. 

Afterwards, we drove into Asheville and had dinner at the Tupelo Honey Cafe. Fried Green Tomatoes over Goat Cheese Grits, Mama's Meat Loaf, Southern Fried Chicken Saltimbocca with Country Ham and Mushroom Marsala Sauce, Stroganoff, Y’all, and because I cannot see Ahi on a menu without ordering it, Gingered Ahi Tuna Steak. Banana Puddin' for dessert and that was all she wrote.

All in all, a good day, and now we begin preparations for La Brouha's [Spanish slang for witch, not because Gloria's a real witch, but because she likes witches] Thanksgiving Birthday Feast.

Hope y'all are doin' well, and, after some more pre-planned rants and stuff, I'll be back, fresh, on Monday.

Feliz Cumpleaños Tia Gloria!

Today is Tia Gloria's birthday.

She is, technically, Carlos' aunt, but she has been an aunt to me ever since I met her almost ten years ago. I had flown to Miami to meet Carlos face-to-face, and, while he had to work a few days during my trip, Tia Gloria took me around Miami. We ate at La Carreta, one of he favorite places, we drove to Homestead, we took an airboat ride through the Everglades. She took me to lunch at The Breakers in Palm Beach, and she ordered a Kamikaze.

I liked her instantly.

One of my favorite Tia stories was when I was visiting Miami, and Carlos and seven, yes, seven, cats. One of them, a bitch of a Calico called Spunky, was dubbed "The Mean One," and one day, as I headed downstairs for breakfast I met Spunky on the stairs and scooped her up, and upside down, into my arms. When I entered the dining room Tia Gloria came out of the kitchen, saw me with Spunky, and exclaimed, "Charlie! Look! He has The Monster!"

Tia retired and moved back to Mexico City but we still have emails and phone calls and pictures and visits. I love to sit back and watch her and her friend Luz Maria cooking in the kitchen; like a well-oiled machine. And the food? Oy! Fantastic.

So, I'll take a moment to wish my friend, my drinking buddy, my Miami tour guide, my Tia, a Feliz Cumpleaños!

Hurt

It's midnight in Smallville and I was in bed a few minutes ago, listening to Carlos Breathe Right, but I cannot sleep, so here I am.

I received an interesting email from Carlos' aunt, Gloria, who lives in Mexico City; those of you who've been here awhile may remember her as the aunt who had a, shall we say, unpleasant stay here last fall. She and Carlos fought and words were exchanged and the last thing she said to either of us is that we would never see her again.

Well, times change, and the wounds of that last visit have healed. Carlos and his aunt talk all the time, and she and I email back and forth. I was glad about that because she has been so very important in Carlos' life, and, with my arrival in his life, mine, too.

The email she sent was in response to an email a friend of ours in Miami had sent her. Gloria talked about the swine flu epidemic in Mexico, and how many places are closed, from churches to Burger King. She told us about people wearing the masks in the street, and how you can't find masks anywhere anymore, so the soldiers stand on street corners giving them away. She doesn't sound too worried, but she is taking every precaution.

But Gloria is less computer knowledgeable than either Carlos or myself, so she sent her response to our friend in Miami to us as well. The only problem is that in her response was the original email our friend had sent her.

This friend starts off telling Gloria about the wonderful weather in Miami, the cool breezes, the low humidity, the fragrance of the gardens around her house, and then, she says this:

"Carlos reminded me the other day that he and Bob have been together for about 8 years. (actually it's nine years) I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. I still think that Bob is not good enough for Carlos, but after 8 years, I have stopped hoping. You know what they say: We can't change other people; we can only change ourselves."

I felt my face flush and my heart began beating so fast. i was so angry, and then disappointed, and finally hurt, that she would say something like that to a woman i consider my aunt as well. And I stared at the email for a long long time, wondering what to do.

Anger I can handle. I have a sharp wicked tongue and know how to use it.

Disappointment I can deal with, because I speak my mind.

it's the hurt that I don't handle well.

This is a woman who has said to my face how glad she is that Carlos and I found each other; how lucky we are to have one another. This is a woman who has said to me time and again how good I am for Carlos. And, apparently, these were not the truth.

So, I sat, and stared at the email, wondering what to do, what to say. Carlos was asleep, but his aunt had sent her response to him as well, so i wondered if he'd read it and what he thinks. But that discussion is for the morning.

I finally decided I needed to write to this friend, and express myself. I held back the anger, though the hurt and disappointment came through, I think.

"Hello ____,Gloria made a small mistake when responding to your email in that she sent her response to both Carlos and myself, and I was quite shocked/disappointed/hurt that you would say this to her:
"I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. I still think that Bob is not good enough for Carlos, but after 8 years, I have stopped hoping. You know what they say: We can't change other people; we can only change ourselves."
I'm sorry you feel this way. And sorry you felt the need to share it with Gloria.Bob"

I sent it and thought it would make me feel better, but the whole thing is keeping me awake. I'm not posting this for a Bash The Friend Pity Party; I'm not posting it to get back at her. I think I'm posting it to get it out me, and out in the atmosphere, and away from me.

Here's hoping it works.

Explosion

Carlos blew his top.

We had been out with "the ladies" looking all over for a particular CD they wanted. We had driven out to Columbia, and looked all over until we finally found it; at a place called 'Sounds Familiar' a funky old new and used music store. I myself stocked up on a new BoDeans and a Billie Holiday I didn't have.

But I digress.

After going around looking for, and finding the music, we drove into Columbia and headed for West Columbia. Carlos asked if the ladies were hungry. "No." said La Bruja. So we drove on. Carlos then suggested a place for a coffee and pastry.

"We'd like to have salad," ordered La Bruja.

So off we went for an short, uncomfortable lunch at Cafe Strudel in West Columbia, after which we headed home. It was cold and rainy, so La Bruja decides to sit in the sunroom--surrounded on three sides by glass with two skylights overhead. The heat comes on and La Bruja waddles back to Carlos and says, "We'd like more heat."

That was all it took for the Carlos Bomb to go off. He went out to the kitchen and did his version of the dressing down. He ranted about spending six hours shopping. He railed about La Bruja wanting to waited on hand-and-foot. He roared about the absence of Please or Thank You. He was loud, but not as loud as I would have been. I was in the back of the house and I heard the raised voices. I crept into the hallway just in time to hear: "We're going out to a nice dinner and tomorrow we'll drive you back up to Charlotte so you can go home!"

My man. He's a sweetheart, but you can only push him so far before the TICK TICK BOOM!

Aftermath

So the dinner is over, leftovers stored, wine bottles emptied and dessert and coffee served.

What do we have to look forward to now?

Oh yes. The guests getting the hell out of our house!

Carlos' aunt and a friend of hers, whose names I will keep to myself--oh hell no, it's Gloria and Luz Maria--arrived on Monday and were staying until Monday, but are now leaving Sunday morning. And that won't come soon enough for me.

It's not that they're awful women--at least one of them isn't, for Luz Maria speaks very little English. But as for the other one, La Bruja (The Witch) as Carlos calls her, can be a demon spawn. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, because she's almost eighty and quite set in her ways, but she can be brutal.

On Tuesday, Carlos took the day off from work and took them to Columbia to go shopping. Carlos. Hates. Shopping. But it was his aunt and her friend, so off they went, for SIX HOURS. He watched them buy key chains, and nail clippers, pens and comb sets, three-dollar T-shirts and anything shiny and made of plastic. I think they were buying souvenirs for all of Mexico City. And upon their return, how thankful and gracious was Gloria? Um.............................Not.

The next day I was off and Carlos worked. I was staying home to do some pre-Thanksgiving dinner prep, but the ladies wanted to go shopping again! I suggested the nearest spot, and offered to drive them down there; I gave them my cell phone so they could call me to come get them. In the short drive to the shopping center, La Bruja must have thanked me, and told me I was the sweetest person ever, about twenty times. But Carlos? Bupkus! Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Thanksgiving Day Carlos and I cooked and baked and set the table and poured the wine and served the dinner and prepared his dessert and served his dessert and cleared and washed and scrubbed and rinsed, and wiped down counters and stoves and the table.

La Bruja? Left the room....but not before she asked in that voice of hers, "Can we have some more heat please? We'll pay the difference."

Where's my gun?

The next day, Black Friday, they ask to go shopping again. On Black Friday! With all the lunatics and soccer moms. Well, Carlos and I are shopping for a new flat screen TV, so we went. We drove into Columbia, to the Target store, and dropped them off while we parked. We walked the half mile or so back to the Target and La Bruja and su amiga are waiting on the curb. "What are we doing here?" she asked. "We have no more shopping to do!"

Again. Gun?

So we let them loose in Target while we looked at Circuit City for TVs. Then it was back to pick them, oh yes, and their purchases up, and head home. Gloria passes out in the sunroom for a couple of hours and, upon waking, asks where we are taking her now. Mind you, the woman doesn't want to do anything but shop.

So, Carlos offered to take them into town and wander through the antique malls. La Bruja agrees, and Carlos gets ready to go. Then she changes her mind and says she's hungry. The she asks us to make whipped cream for her dessert. Make. Whipped. Cream. If I could have made it into a gun and used it, I would have.

Drop everything and feed her. Gun? Anyone?

Again, not a lacquered fingernail is lifted in reheating their food or setting the table, serving, clearing washing..........it's like Groundhogs Day because I'm reliving the day before exactly as it happened the FIRST TIME!!!

They had coffee with dessert. I got the big wine goblet out.

T-minus 41 hours and counting.