I Didn't Say It ...

Adam Kinzinger, GOP congressman, condemning _____ for quoting Pastor Robert Jeffress’ warning that impeachment might cause a Civil War:

“I have visited nations ravaged by civil war … I have never imagined such a quote to be repeated by a President. This is beyond repugnant.”

Surprised, Adam? He’s been repugnant since that first day in _____ Tower where he called Mexicans murderers, rapists and drug dealers.

photo

Mike Pompeo, Secretary of State, blatantly obstructing the impeachment inquiry by the House of Representatives.

“I’m concerned with aspects of the committee’s request that can be understood only as an attempt to intimidate, bully and treat improperly the distinguished professionals of the Department of State. Let me be clear: I will not tolerate such tactics, and I will use all means at my disposal to prevent and expose any attempts to intimidate the dedicated professionals whom I am proud to lead and serve alongside at the Department of State.”

Let me get this queer, Mike. You think it’s bullying and intimidation to investigate the president because he, okay, ALLEGEDLY, bullied and intimidated the president of Ukraine into investigating Joe Biden?

Have I got that, you dimwitted, goose-stepping asshat?

PS Why’d you lie about not being in on “the Call” if there was nothing to it?

photo

Lil Nas X, rapper, on the challenges of growing up as gay, and on anti-gay bullying:

“I knew [I was gay as a kid]. Especially around my teenage years, I was just like, you know, praying, praying, praying that it was like a phase. Yeah, go away. [But I’m treated differently than the average gay person] … ’cause, me being in this position, it’s easy for me, but, like, some little boy, ten miles from here, it’s not going to be good for him. I think [coming out is] gonna always help, you know it’s gonna. You still have a long way to go. … There’s still a lot to be done of course but I do believe it’s helping.”

It’s true, every person, especially those with some level of fame, who comes out, helps someone else come out because that person feels less alone, less different, less afraid.

Especially in the black community; especially in the rap community.

photo

Jeff Flake, telling Republicans they still have time to save their souls:

“Now for the easy decision. If the House decides against filing articles of impeachment, or the Senate fails to convict, Senate Republicans will have to decide whether, given what we now know about the president’s actions and behavior, to support his reelection. Obviously, the answer is no.”

Jeff still lives up to his last name, because instead of staying and standing up against this president, and maybe enabling other republicans to do the same, he turned and ran, and now speaks from the sidelines.

Take a seat, flake.

photo

Jacob Frey, mayor of Minneapolis, on _____’s upcoming MAGA rally there:

“Under ordinary circumstances it would be an honor to welcome a sitting President of the United States to Minneapolis and to showcase all our city has to offer on the national stage. But these aren’t ordinary circumstances. Since taking office President _____’s actions have been reprehensible and his rhetoric has made it clear that he does not value the perspectives or rights of Minneapolis’ diverse communities. On October 19, our entire city will not stand behind the President, but behind the people and communities who continue to make our city—and this country—great. While there is no legal mechanism to prevent the President from visiting, his message of hate will never be welcome in Minneapolis.”

Word. Thank you, Mayor Frey.

photo

Rami Malek, the villain in the new Bond film, on his “moment” with Daniel Craig on set:

“We had this scene that was a very complicated scene and we were rehearsing for it with our terrific director, Cary Fukunaga. And, we were sitting at a table over hours just batting about ideas back and forth. And we finally cracked this really challenging scene. And he grabbed me, picked me up—and I can’t tell if I initiated the next moment, if it was him or I—but, a kiss transpired between the two of us. And I’m gonna say that Daniel initiated it and I was very taken aback … I took a moment, caught my breath, and I looked out and said, ‘So, does this make me a Bond Girl?'”

I.Would.Have.Died.

Seriously; Daniel Craig kisses me? I would die.

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Remember Chris Hansen from To Catch A Predator? I’m guessing his new show is Catch a Check Bouncer because that’s what Hansen was arrested for in Connecticut this week.

Hansen ALLEGEDLY bounced $13,000 worth of checks to a company called Promotional Sales Limited for branded items like mugs, t-shirts and vinyl decals. And then to top that off, he was evicted from his NYC apartment for owing some $4,000 in back rent.

But hey, go bounce a check for a t-shirt, dude. Oh, and to make matters worse, Hansen’s soon to be ex-wife, Mary Joan, wants alimony and a “fair division of property and debts.” 

Oh honey, the man cannot buy a coffee mug without bouncing a check and you think there’s alimony? No … no.

photo

And speaking of someone who wants the coins, ex-CBS head, and sexual predator, Les Moonves is demanding his $120 million payout from CBS, even though the network has already said “Dee-nied.”

CBS reached its decision after a three-month investigation into how Moonves behaved while at the network, and they uncovered all sorts of pervy shiz … like ALLEGATIONS of Moonves forcing oral sex on aspiring actresses and maybe cancelling Cybill when Cybill Shepherd refused to sleep with him.

Even worse, Julie Chen Moonves is now totally relying on CBS and Big Brother to pay the bills at Chez Moonves … until she evicts Les from the house.

photo

I guess it pays to be the asshat son of a famous person, because Lionel Richie’s son, Miles Brockman Richie, is a free man aafter ALLEGEDLY claiming he was in possession of a bomb—which he threatened to detonate—and then punching a security guard at London’s Heathrow Airport because he was denied entry to a flight.

Richie was given a “caution” for “communicating false information, battery, and causing a bomb hoax” after authorities discovered he was lying about the explosives. In England, receiving a “caution” means the person involved accepts responsibility for their actions and is allowed to go on their way without being arrested or charged.

Seriously? Lock that asshatted, terrorist up.

photo

I love me some Leslie Jones. I love her loud mouth and her irreverent sense of humor. But today, Leslie, honey, take a seat.

This week Jason Reitman  he was rebooting Ghostbusters, the movie his father, Ivan Reitman, directed in the 1980s. Jason says his reboot will forgive [forget] the all-female Ghostbusters that came out a minute ago, and be an actual sequel to his dad’s movie. And that sent Jones over … the … edge …

“So insulting. Like fuck us. We dint count. It’s like something _____ would do. ‘Gonna redo ghostbusteeeeers, better with men, will be huge. Those women ain’t ghostbusteeeeers’ ugh so annoying. Such a dick move. And I don’t give fuck I’m saying something!!”

And I’ll say something …Leslie? Did you see the all-female remake? It sucked. It wasn’t funny. It was bad. You should be thrilled for this sequel because it’ll make people forget your version.

Love you.

photo

Chris Brown. He’s been in Paris recently, attending fashion shows—which begs the question: why do designers need Chris Brown at their shows? But, ALLEGEDLY, he was doing something else.

See, Brown and some members of his entourage were arrested for assault and suspicion of rape after a 24-year-old woman claims Brown assaulted her in a hotel suite in Paris earlier this month.

Brown, like he did when he beat up Rihanna—which doesn't necessarily mean that he's a rapist—has yet to comment on the ALLEGATIONS but, I believe Chris Brown is the guy that beats up his girlfriend and leaves her by the side of the road. I believe he’s the guy abuses, stalks and harasses his ex-girlfriend to the point where she doesn’t feel safe being alone with him. I believe he’s the guy who meets a girl in a bar and invites her to his hotel room and rapes her.

It’s called escalating.

photo

I’m a cynic. Sue me.  But this Bryan Singer mess, and Rami Malek’s ”Who? What?” attitude? Not.Buying.It.

Bryan Singer directed more than half of Bohemian Rhapsody before leaving the film under a storm of controversy that he had missed days and days of work, that other people had to step in to complete the film, and that Singer and Malek clashed on the set and that Singer even “threw an object” at Rami. And this all happened around the time that Singer was sued again for raping another teenage boy. Sidenote: four more accusers have come forward this past week saying Singer fondled them or raped them when they were teenagers working on one of his films.

But here’s my thing …the stories of Singer and underage boys have been around for years, long before Bohemian Rhapsody was a thought, and before anyone even knew Rami Malek. And yet Malek is now saying he’d never ever heard the stories about Singers ALLEGEDLY infamous Boy Pool Parties?

Sorry, Rami, but if I could hear the story here in Smallville, surely you heard the story in Hollywood, especially after you announced you’d be working with Singer.

Just sayin’.

photo

We all know Lady Gaga is thirsty for Oscar because then she can carry it around as a prop in case she runs into Madonna and can shove it in Madge’s face, so does anyone … anyone … actually believe Gaga when she said this about the Oscar nomination for A Star is Born:

“I didn’t know anything about it.”

Yes, Lady Gaga who has been campaigning for an Oscar for months now, says she actually slept through the nominations and didn’t wake up until three hours later.

You woke up three hours after your nomination was announced and no one … no one … called you to share the news?

Sure, Lady, sure.

photo

Globes Fashions Made Simple ... Plus, Screaming Hot Oscar Isaac

BEST DRESSED

Helen Mirren … showing all those younger girls how to pull off sexy and chic and glamorous all at the same time. Head to toe, she knows how to dress for these shows.

GREAT

Jennifer Lawrence knows fashion, though sometimes she goes over-the-top. This time she was a cool, calm, collected and perfect Ice Princess On Fire.

VERY GOOD

Julianne Moore was rockin’ the sequins at the Globes, looking every inch a glamorous star. Totally covered up, totally sexy.

GOOD

Lady Gaga dragged her Inner Marilyn onto the carpet, though she gave it a kind of Morticia Adams edge to the whole thing.

OKAY … I’M FEELIN’ IT

Usually the comics tend to get it wrong—I’m looking at Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig from years past—but Amy Schumer looked cool and sophisticated and not-at-all try hard.

THIS SHOCKED ME

JLo usually brings out the ass or the legs or the bazongas, but this year — except for the Jolie Leg — she kept herself covered up and worked it. She might have scored higher, but that face she makes on the carpets always looked, um, constipated to me.

WTF

Cate Blanchett loves couture, but I’m getting fringy pink skeletal x-ray, or bad curtains in an Old West brothel.

WORST

Katy Perry. When I firsts potted her I thought, Oh look, Lisa Vanderpump is there in an ugly dress. But it was just Katy looking decades older in a Rite Aid Bump-It™ and a too-tight dress. If she was going Old Hollywood, she just stopped at Old.

HOT MAN

Rami Malek looked so put together. He’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but there’s just something about him that gets my moor running … especially in a dark blue tuxedo.

SCORCHING

Oscar Isaac. I can’t with him because he just makes me crazy … crazy hot. I’m usually not a full facial hair guy, but on Oscar it works. Hell, on Oscar, anything works.