I Didn't Say It

Pete Buttigieg, Secretary of Transportation, clapping back at GOP Loon Marjorie Taylor Greene’s bizarre insult where she accused Pete and his husband Chasten Buttigieg of creeping around girls’ bathrooms by saying she’s not even a mediocre Congresswoman:

“The reason you hear somebody like that making nonsensical—literally nonsensical comments like that, I don’t know what you’d do with an electric vehicle in any bathroom—is because they don’t want to talk about what we’re actually working on. So they’re going to keep tripling down on anything that can divide and demonize and demoralize, and through that capture attention. If I were to make a list of the 10… or 20… or 50… or 200 members of Congress whose commentary or thoughts or words it would be the most constructive to be debating or weighing right now, it wouldn’t be the two or three members of Congress who get the most attention on Twitter for whatever outrage they try to outdo each other on.”

In other words, don’t do battle with an idiot, because she’s just out there for attention and has done nothing worthwhile since being elected to office.

Stay strong, Pete.

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Will Smith, apologizing for physically assaulting Chris Rock on the Oscars stage Sunday night:

“Violence in all of its forms is poisonous and destructive. My behavior at last night’s Academy Awards was unacceptable and inexcusable. Jokes at my expense are part of the job, but a joke about Jada’s medical condition was too much for me to bear and I reacted emotionally. I would like to publicly apologize to you, Chris. I was out of line and I was wrong. I am embarrassed and my actions were not indicative of the man I want to be. There is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness. I would also like to apologize to the Academy, the producers of the show, all the attendees and everyone watching around the world. I would like to apologize to the Williams Family and my King Richard Family. I deeply regret that my behavior has stained what has been an otherwise gorgeous journey for all of us. I am a work in progress.”

Nice, but kind of meaningless because he’s still blaming “the joke” for his actions. Clearly, people higher up have questioned whether it’s worth it to hire Smith, and the Academy is said to be considering action, so Will is trying to save his career.

A child knows you don’t hit people for making a joke.

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Ron DeSantis, Flori-duh’s Governor, Walt Disney Company’s plan to repeal the state’s ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill:

“For Disney to come out and put a statement and say that the bill should have never passed and that they are going to actively work to repeal it, I think one was fundamentally dishonest, but two, I think that crossed the line. This state is governed by the interest of the people of the state of Florida, it is not based on the demands of California corporate executives.”

Except, Ron, you ignorant POS, when exactly did the PEOPLE of you state rise up in overwhelming numbers and demand a ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill, because it looks like the only folks who wanted it are you and your bigoted, homophobic, transphobic, racist fuckmonkeys.

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Jim Carrey, on that slap, and the reaction to Smith’s Oscar win, and what he would have done had been the victim:

“I was sickened. I was sickened by the standing ovation. Hollywood is just spineless en masse and it really felt like this is a really clear indication that we aren’t the cool club anymore. [And] I’d have announced this morning that I was suing Will for $200 million because that video is going to be there forever, it’s going to be ubiquitous. That insult is gonna last a very long time. If you want to yell from the audience and show disapproval or say something on Twitter, [that’s OK, but] you do not have the right to walk up onstage and smack somebody in the face ‘cuz they said words. I wish him the best, I really do … He’s done great things. But that was not a good moment. It cast a pall over everybody’s shining moment.”

Carrey’s right. It was disgusting to see anyone standing for Will Smith after he assaulted Chris Rock. And that video will be around forever, though I think Smith comes off looking like a petulant bully, so maybe it’ll be worse for him … and I’m good with that.

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Madison Cawthorn, alleging that “people” Washington, D.C. have invited him to orgies and done cocaine in front of him:

“I look at all these people, a lot of them that I’ve looked up to through my life, I’ve always paid attention to politics. Then all of the sudden you get invited to, ‘Well hey, we’re going to have kind of a sexual get together at one of our homes, you should come.’ I’m like, ‘What did you just ask me to come to?’ And then you realize they are asking you to come to an orgy.”

Cawthorn also claim he has seen people who advocate for fighting against addiction do cocaine in front of him.

Well, golly Maddie, then speak up. I mean if you’re so sickened by what folks in DC politics are doing call ‘em out by name and get them out of office, unless you’re just a liar an—Oh yeah, never mind.

SIDENOTE: Little Maddie admitted in a tense meeting with House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy that his claims were "exaggerated".

AKA Lies.

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Wanda Sykes, saying after the slap, Chris Rock apologized to her:

“The first thing he said was ‘I am so sorry. It was supposed to be your night. You and Amy and Regina…I’m so sorry, because now this is going to be about this.’ That’s who Chris is.”

That’s a helluva lot better, and more adult that the Smith family.

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Chris Wallace, confirming what most of us already knew:

“I’m fine with opinion: conservative opinion, liberal opinion, but when people start to question the truth—Who won the 2020 election? Was January 6 an insurrection —I found that unsustainable. Some people might have drawn the line earlier, or at a different point. I think Fox has changed over the course of the last year and a half. But I can certainly understand where somebody would say, ‘Gee, you were a slow learner, Chris.’”

But you learned, and left.

Wallace confirmed reports that he was so alarmed by Tucker Carlson’s documentary “Patriot Purge”—which falsely suggested the Capitol riot was a “false flag” operation intended to demonize conservatives—that he complained directly to Fox News management.

Nothing was done, and he packed his bags.

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Chris Rock, in his first standup show since the slap:

“Whoa, OK! Yo, let me do the show! How was your weekend? I don't have a bunch of shit about what happened, so if you came to hear that, I have a whole show I wrote before this weekend. I’m still kind of processing what happened. So, at some point I’ll talk about that shit. And it will be serious and funny.”

An audience member then chanted “Fuck Will Smith!” but Rock ignored the comment and began his hour-long set.

Again, adult in the room.

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It's Snarkurday!

Will Smith and his beard wife Jada Pinkett Smith must be r-i-i-i-i-ich, and they must have really dumb friends, because the Smith’s just gave Tyrese $5 million to stay off social media.

With Tyrese is in a custody fight with his ex-wife, Norma Mitchell Gibson, who has temporary custody of Shayla, and a temporary restraining order against Tyrese based on alleged abuse, he decided to take his angst to the interwebz to whine and kvetch about being broke; and this was while he was paying huge fees to have banners flown over his daughter’s school as a way to “talk” to her; and then he even goes on Instagram to flaunt his extravagant lifestyle, jetting here and there, while, again, crying broke. He even went on a Tweet frenzy worth of a child-like fat bastard president.

Enter Will and Jada and their Hush Fund; a pay-off to keep him quiet so maybe a judge will find him worthy of joint custody of his child.

Note to the Smith’s: I’ll take $5,000 to stay off Twitter. Just sayin’.

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Oh, this could have gone so wrong, but Martha Stewart has finally been reunited with her favorite pie dish.

It seems that last month, the Domestic Diva was featured in a magazine article about her first New York apartment, which is now owned by Tom D’Agostino, who was married to Real Housewives of New York’s Luann de Lesseps for about seven minutes last summer.

In the magazine piece, Stewart makes a note of the fact that she brought an apple pie to the shoot in her very favorite pie dish and the dish was ::::gasp:::: never returned. Did D’Agostino steal it? Was he trying to lure Luann back to the marital bed with the promise of pie? That can’t be true because about a half minute after divorcing Luann, D’Agostino married one of her friends.

Tom and his people—sheesh ... everyone has ‘people’ ... I need ‘people’—then said they tried to return the dish and added, snarkily, that it was just a cheap Pyrex number anyway.

Really? Martha Freaking Stewart brings a pie in Pyrex? Bitch, please.

Luckily, before she unleashed the hounds on him, D’Agostino found the missing pie dish, and gave it to his doorman who passed it along to a Stewart minion.

Just in time for cobblers at Thanksgiving.  A bullet dodged.

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I like Chris Rock and I like politically incorrect humor, but it can cross a line especially when it’s a wee bit too soon for the joke and even more so when the jokes don’t land.

Apparently Rock tried out some new material about sexual harassment at the Comedy Cellar last week, and the women in the audience weren’t happy because he joked that he won’t hire women anymore because he would need a crew of witnesses around him at all times so he wouldn’t be accused of rape.

Yeah, rich Hollywood men raping women is not exactly fun times, Chris, who also added:

“They cry rape because they want money.”

As people booed and left the club, Rock asked his friend, Jeff Ross, who was waiting to go up for some new material; Ross yelled:

“Talk about growing up in Brooklyn.”

But Rock kept going back to sexual harassment. He left the stage after twenty minutes to near silence from the audience. Jeff Ross then got a laugh with:

“Now that we got that Chris Rock kid out of the way ...”

Note to Chris: rape isn’t funny.

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The only person who likes Taylor Swift more than Taylor Swift is her lawyers because they make bank with all her lawsuits. And recently TayTay put her team of shysters, er, lawyers to work going after a writer who wrote some things about Swifty that hurt her Hello Kitty Feelings™. The writer, a blogger actually, wrote that Taylor didn’t like her popularity in the white supremacy community, but, you know, there’s a thing called Free Speech and it even applies to juvenile pop stars.

It all began when the writer, Meghan Herning, posted ... “Swiftly to the alt-right: Taylor subtly gets the lower case kkk in formation” ... on the left-leaning blog PopFront. The post was about Swifty’s ever-increasing popularity with white supremacists and neo-Nazis, and Meghan wrote that Taylor’s recent single Look What You Made Me Do has served as a “subtle, quiet white support of a racial hierarchy.”

It seems the alt-righters are loving the idea of white girl—Taylor Swift—getting revenge on a black man—Kanye West—who did her wrong, and so in her post Meghan called for Taylor to speak up and denounce her white supremacist fan base.

At first, Taylor had her minions send a strongly-worded letter to the white supremacy community informing them that she isn’t their pin-up poster gal for hate; I don’t know why she didn’t just turn the letter into a song and make some coins while she was at it, I mean that’s what she does, right? But that letter didn’t work so now TayTay and her lawyers are going after Meghan Herning in a letter stating that the story was “provably false and defamatory,” and accusing Meghan of attacking Taylor Swift ... of all people:

“It appears to be a malicious attack against Ms. Swift that goes to great lengths to portray Ms. Swift as some sort of white supremacist figurehead, which is a baseless fiction masquerading as fact and completely misrepresents Ms. Swift.”

The letter also defends Swifty’s decision to say nothing about being the poster gal of Neo-Nazis everywhere and to keep her political affiliations to herself. And so, Meghan shared the letter with the ACLU, who feel that what Meghan wrote is political commentary that falls under the protection of the First Amendment and they say—and they actually quoted one of Swifty’s songs—that TayTay needs to “shake it off,” put her big girl panties on, turn her drama into a badly written, poorly sung song that her fans, on the left and the alt-right can tap their toe to.

Amirite?

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Well, yet another parent has claimed that Kevin Spacey got her 18-year-old son drunk and sexually assaulted him. It happened in Nantucket, and now there is an open investigation into Kevin Spacey.

And, like Harvey Weinstein, Spacey is being punished monetarily, though not yet criminally.

First Netflix canceled House of Cards, and now Sony has announced that they were pulling out of their AFI Fest premiere of All the Money In the World in which Spacey has a smallish but significant role. Even worse, though, is now the director of that film, Ridley Scott, is completely editing Spacey out of the finished film and recasting the role. The film was due out next month, but now the reshoots and the Kutting of Kevin will push back its release date.

Christopher Plummer will now play the role of J Paul Getty in the film, and work is expected to go so fast that it will still be released at the end of December, in time for Oscar consideration.

Wouldn’t it be ironic if Plummer won for his reshoot of Spacey’s role? Just sayin’.

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The May-December-Of-The-Following-Year romance between thirty-something Katharine McPhee and nearly-seventy-something David Foster may be less than it appears.

A friend—and who needs friends like this—says it’s all about:

“Publicity. They are using each other.”

Could be true, because the, ahem, “love birds” recently sat courtside at a Lakers game and were sure to be photographed smiling and gazing into each other’s eyes. But the source says Foster knows nothing about sports and has never attended a Lakers’ game until that night with his “girlfriend.”

The next night, the “couple” went to Craig’s in Beverly Hills, a paparazzi-magnet restaurant, where they were photographed again.

And since Foster has been working since 2008 on a musical about the iconic cartoon character Betty Boop, with a part that would be perfect for McPhee, maybe it is all publicity; especially given that Foster’s daughter Erin Instagrammed a photo of the couple with the tagline:

“Excited about my new step mom.”

A story McPhee calls a joke. Uh huh. Or just a way to keep yourself in the public eye so when you go to Broadway people won’t say, “Katharine, who?”

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Weinstein. Spacey. Louis CK. Ed Westwick. All accused of sexual harassment, assault or even rape. And now we have another name to add to the list: Mariah Carey.

No, not Victim Mimi, but Predator Mimi, because one of her former security guards has coughed up a lawsuit containing some messy allegations.

Michael Anello’s security company was employed by Mariah from June 2015 to May 2017 and, according to the lawsuit, Michael claims Mariah stiffed him on money, sexually harassed him, and said some racist things.

First the money, Michael claims that Mariah owes his company $221,329.51 in unpaid invoices; he also says Mimi promised him two more years of work worth $511,000, for a total of $732,329.51.

But the juicy bits are in the harassment claims; Michael, who is white, says Carey often referred to him and a colleague as Nazis, skinheads, and KKK members, and made it known she wanted to be surrounded by “black guys” and not white people. Michael also accuses Mariah of performing “sexual acts” with the intent they be seen by him, and that during a trip to Mexico, Mimi asked him to come to her room and move some luggage. When he arrived, Mimi’s LadyBits were on display in a see-through negligee that was open in the front. As he tried to leave, she demanded he stay and move her luggage, but he left and says there was no physical contact.

Mariah’s people say they’re working with his lawyer to pay some of the outstanding invoices, but Anello’s not happy with their offer and so maybe that’s why he coughed up the sexual harassment claims.

I don’t know about you but I’d be annoyed that she asked her security team to move her luggage; I mean, wasn’t there a bellhop or a much younger boyfriend to do the heavy lifting?

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Last Summer, when Universal released its reboot of The Mummy starring Tom Cruise, they had planned to create their own Marvel-style Dark Universe franchise full of rebooted classic horror films. But, you know, The Mummy tanked worse than a Tom Cruise marriage and the plan was scrubbed.

Still, Tom wants some kind of horror film franchise and it’s been suggested—perhaps by me—that he do a Scientology Trilogy cuz nothing is scarier that that abortion-coercing, money laundering, child abusing cult.

Just sayin’.

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It's Snarkurday!

I have always found Colin Farrell hot ... even dirty, drunk, sloppy, bordering on Johnny Depp-like messiness, I’ve always found him hot.

Well, Colin was on Ellen this week and played a game called Celebrity Confessions which involves the guest confessing to something in exchange for a $10,000 donation to the charity of their choice.

So, Colin talked about the time he gave his pubes a bad haircut. See, he was about to shoot a sex scene for Tigerland and he asked director Joel Schumacher for pubic hair removal approval ... is that a thing in Hollywood? 

Colin wanted to trim it ... Joel said “Do it.” ... Colin grabbed a beard trimmer from makeup-and-hair and went to town; and then went through town and out of town and all around town.

Suddenly his big bush was a landing strip and, well, his pubic hair did not make their film debut after all.

Note to Colin: Um, I’m pretty handy with a pair of clippers so the next time you’d like to manscape down there, gimme a call. I’d be happy to lend a hand or ... since I’ve seen that video ... two.

Just sayin’.
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This makes my skin crawl, but I’ve got a duty to snark so ... Cindy Rueda, former personal chef to Puff-Daddy-P-Diddy-Sean-Combs-Whatever, has filed a sexual harassment suit saying she was exposed to improper sexual activity and commentary while working in the Diddy manse.

In the complaint, Rueda ALLEGES that she was “regularly summoned by Mr. Combs to prepare and serve entrees and appetizers to him and his guests while Mr. Combs and/or his guests were engaged in or immediately following sexual activity.”

Ooh, Roman Orgy-style? And, Rueda ALLEGES, once when Combs asked her to prepare a “post-coital meal” he asked if she was attracted to his naked body.

I believe she may have hurled on Little Diddy. I would have.

Another time “a male house guest of Combs approached plaintiff in the nude to ask her to look at and admire his genitals after he had engaged in sexual activity with another house guest.”

Perhaps she wasn’t just serving crabs, but checking for them as well?

Rueda—who began working for Diddy but never diddling Diddy in 2015—is also claiming that she was required to work from 9AM until 2:30AM for just $150 a day, and that she traveled with Diddy for no extra pay.

And, she ALLEGES, that a year later when she complained about the long hours, the low pay, and the orgies and meals, she was fired ALLEGEDLY for  stealing a watch she says was given to her by the housekeeper, who found it in the trash.

What? Here’s the deal, girl: if you’re working 17 hours a day and getting just $150, you quit. If you’re working for a man who wants to serve him and his sex-guests an after orgy meal, you quit. If Sean Combs says, “How do you like my junk?” you throw up and then you quit.

You don’t stay for over a year and then bitch when you get canned.

Okurrrrrrrr?
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On last week’s RuPaul’s Drag Race, the queens were challenged to film a parody of Beverly Hills, 90210 called Beverly Hills, 9021-HO. The scenes were directed and judged by former 90210 stars Tori “Can’t pay my bills” Spelling and Jennie “Where is my career?” Garth.

And during the judging Tori and Jennie proved they are still bitchy mean girls by throwing shade at their 90210 co-star, Tiffani “There used to be an Amber there” Thiessen.

See, while critiquing Aja’s performance—a parody of Tiffani’s character Valerie Malone—Jennie refused to say Tiffani’s name, and Tori replied by calling Tiffani “That which we don’t speak of.”

And here’s why: the fued goes back to 1994 when Tiffani joined the cast in 1994. Things were cold in the beginning, but then warmed up a little and she became good friends with Jennie.  But, when Tori cheated on her first husband, Charlie, with her second husband-to-be, Dean, and then divorced Charlie, Tiffani’s friendship with the Mean Girls fell apart because Tiffani’s best friend was Charlie’s roommate.

And so, apparently, a decade later Tori and Jennie are still Bitter Bettys about it.

Gosh maybe Ryan Murphy can make this into a season of Feud ... or, if not a whole season, at least a very disturbing PSA.

Anyway, as feuds go, I tend to pick a side and I’ll stand with Tiffani because Tiffani has a job on Food Network and so, unlike Tori, she can pay her bills, and unlike Jennie, she’s working. But mainly I fall on Team Tiff because she worked for years on White Collar and got to stand within inches of Matt Bomer and that means we will always be on the same team!

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The list of things Justin Bieber needs to have while he’s on tour—it’s called a ‘rider’—have been exposed by music journalist Arjun S. Ravi, and, well, Bieber's a bigger douche than I originally thought ...

Ravi Tweeted what he claims is Bieber’s rider for his Purpose World Tour in Mumbai this week and it is something. Here now, is what Justin Bieber demands for himself and his entourage of 120 while he’s in India for one single show:

A helicopter to take him from his hotel to the concert venue.

A dressing room draped entirely in white curtains.

A lot of food, like bags of Swedish Fish and sugary cereal.

Ten luxury cars and two buses for his entourage, in addition to a Rolls Royce solely for himself.

Two five-star hotels, with three full floors and a private elevator reserved only for him in one of the hotels.

He will be shipping in his own ping pong table, sofa set, washing machine, and fridge.

He demands purple carnations, 100 hangers, a massage table and a female massage therapist in his room.

He demands that the five-star hotel chefs prepare him 5 special meals a day, each of which is renamed after his songs ...

Never Say Never to Mac’n’Cheese? What Do You Mean There’s No Pie? Love Yourself Like I Love Cheese Pizza?

He also wants a “yoga casket” containing essential oils, books on chakras and yoga asanas.

Oh, and last but assuredly not least, no lilies! I guess he’s a’scurred a’lilies.

Seriously, he out-divas JLo and Mimi and they've been around for half a century.

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So Suicide Squad. Out and gone in a relative flash, but now comes a tale of Jared Leto’s extreme method acting. 

It seems that his Suicide Squad co-star Ike Barinholtz was the recipient of Jared Leto Acting 101.

During an interview with Howard Stern, Ike talked about playing a prison guard in the film and shared a scene with Jared in which Let’s Joker offers to help Ike’s character out with some gambling debts.

Jared played the scene real close to Ike and even planted an unplanned kiss on him, saying and doing several things that were never in the script:

“I do this scene with Jared Leto and he’s supposed to be intimidating me. He comes in ... and he starts squeezing my tits. He’s like [panting and moaning] ‘You’re a big guy’. This is while we’re filming. Then he fucking grabs me and kisses me. On the mouth, full kisses me. I thought, OK, I’m just gonna go with it. But then he’s like, [panting and moaning again] ‘Did someone piss their pants?’ I’m like, now I did because you said I did!”

Man, first I miss out on manscaping Colin Farrell's nether regions and now I lose out on a steamy Leto kiss?

I need to get to Hollywood; I’ve work to do.

Oh, and I'm a whore.
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Beyoncé’s representative is not happy with y’all. In case you’ve forgotten, Beyoncé is still pregnant with her twins, and spends her days posting pictures to Instagram lest the Beyhive come for her.

But, in one photo—up there—it looks as though her lips have been Jolie’d. And as people talked about the visits to the Lip Doctor, Beyoncé’s publicist, Yvette Noel-Schure, lost her damned mind and told anyone and everyone who thinks Beyoncé’s lips look fake to f**k off:

“What do you know about the effects of pregnancy on a woman’s entire body? Please tell me. Did you know that in addition to weight gain there is often a dramatic change in the blood flow in the system and increased fluid causing swelling? Do you know that often women’s gums get swollen? Do you know that it sometimes affects our speech, our ability to chew intently and a host of other things? But the sacrifice to our faces, our feet and our entire bodies is something we welcome because we bring beautiful humans into the world who will one day combat your hate and negativity. I stood silent during Beyoncé’s first pregnancy when you thought it was okay to bully her like the cowards you are, when you accused her of never being pregnant, but I simply cannot this time. You are the saddest individuals and picking on a pregnant lady is tantamount to possessing the coldest, despicable heart. You need to find something else to do with your time and maybe stop by a store that has happiness on sale because you need to buy some.”

Sorry, Yvette. Maybe we didn’t know that, like most women, Beyoncé suffers a little baby weight gain ... in.her.lips.
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Rumors have swirling ever since Chris Rock revealed in a comedy routine that he’d cheated on his ex-wife with three different women, including a big star. And now foils are saying the big star is Scandal’s Kerry Washington.

A source—and it could be Lohan, still trying to get Mean girls: The Musical on Broadway ... in a high school gym, on Broadway—says:

“He was cheating on his wife with Kerry when they were filming [‘I Think I Love My Wife’] about him, ironically, having fantasies of cheating on his wife. That went on for a while, for like six months, and she found out. There’s no gray area.”

Rumors about the Chris-Kerry Tryst have been around since 2007, when Rock was married and Washington was engaged to actor David Moscow who, when asked about the ALLEGED affair, uttered, “No comment.”

Still, some say it was a joke because Chris also said he cheated with a member of Destiny’s Child, but not Beyoncé.

Hmmm, I wonder what Beyoncé’s lips looked like then?
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So, Conrad Hilton, Paris Hilton’s little brother; you thought she was a self-entitled spoiled rich kid, well, she’s got nothing on her baby brother.

Conrad used to date Hunter Salomon, the daughter of actress E.G. Daily—“Dottie” in Pee-Wee Herman’s Big Adventure—and Paris Hilton porn tape co-star Rick Salomon.

This week Conrad was arrested for ALLEGEDLY trying to break into her house—again—last Saturday morning; and, in addition to trying to break into the home, he’s also ALLEGEDLY charged with grand theft auto for stealing E.G.’s ex-husband, and Hunter’s dad, Rick Salomon’s, Bentley from HIS house before the break-in.

Hunter filed a restraining order when they broke up in May of 2015, but Conrad violated it almost at once; this, in fact, is the second time he’s broken into her home, and now E.G. is talking about Conrad’s scary behavior towards her family that has been going on for years. She’s even talked to his parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton, and tried to cut Conrad a break, if he’d just stay away, but, you know, rich, white, drug addicted stalkers are hard to keep at bay.

Especially when they keep getting arrested and yet their bail is set at a measly—by Hilton standards—$60,000.

Oh, and lest we forget what a vile human being Connie Hilton is, he exploded on police who showed up to arrest him for breaking-and-entering in a spree of homophobic slurs, racial epithets and rape accusations, in addition to making even Reese Witherspoon cringe at the ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ of it all:

“I’m Conrad motherf***ing Hilton, don’t you forget it.”

How can we forget you Connie when you keep getting arrested. We’d love to forget you if only your punishment would fit your crimes.
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Now, in sweet news, longtime unmarried lovebirds Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn both got their stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame; and they are side-by-side. And they gushed about one another in their acceptance speeches:

“Goldie, to you, I owe my wonderful life. Simply put, Goldie, I cherish you. All of the stars in the sky or on the boulevard don’t hold a candle to that.”

Hawn and Russell never tied the knot, and yet they’ve stayed together for 33-years. Russell, accepting his star, joked that it “will be subjected to the constant harshness of the blazing California sun” and “stray dogs of both the canine and human variety — perhaps in need of a little relief.” He said it will “trod upon by the soles of shoes caked with earth from all corners of the world.” And the added:

“There’s no one else I’d rather be next to for all of that than Goldie Hawn.”

Goldie, for her part, began by asking a question:

“Can we just get married? We’ve never had a celebration like this before, but I’m not going to pop the question.”

Sweet. After the sludge above it’s nice to end with sweet, eh?

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