I Ain'tOne To Gossip But ....

Remember that cringeworthy moment at the Oscars a few years ago when totally-not-gay John Travolta introduced Idina Menzel as “Adele Dazeem”? Yeah, well, he’s at it again.

At this year’s MTV VMAs Travolta, along with totally-not-closeted Queen Latifah—do I sense a theme?—presented the Video Of The Year award to Taylor Swifty for You Need To Calm Down. And Travolta handed the statuette to a drag queen he thought was Swifty.

Perhaps he didn’t know who Swifty was, even though she opened the show … and when she won for her video, she gave Classic Swifty-Who-Me-Realness, and still Travolta picked a drag queen—Jade Jolie, from RuPaul’s Drag Race—as the real Taylor Swift.

But at least he got her name right.

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Methinks he doth protest too much.

Prince Andrew recently claimed in a second official statement that he knew Jeffrey Epstein and saw him once or twice a year, but that he never saw Epstein do anything inappropriate with underage girls.

Back in 2009, Paul Page, a former police officer who served in the Royal Protection Command [RPC] talked about Andy’s ALLEGED visitors at Buckingham Palace, and now, thanks to The Mirror,  his words are out there for everyone’s enjoyment … well except for Andy and his mum, The Queen.

Page made the ALLEGATIONS against Prince Andrew while on trial in ’09 for investment fraud; he was found guilty and given six years in jail. Page’s testimony about Andrew was locked up, but now it’s out there:

“It was not just the royalty protection officers who abused their position, members of the Royal Household also frequently did. The biggest culprit was Prince Andrew … [who] … would often have lady friends come to visit, including frequent visits by Ghislaine Maxwell, daughter of the disgraced late Robert Maxwell.”

Ghislaine Maxwell is the woman who ALLEGEDLY recruited women for Epstein’s sex trafficking ring, and Page says Maxwell made frequent palace calls and always brought young women with her. Page claims Ghislaine and the female guests never signed the Buckingham Palace gate book, and that members of the RPC would drive the secret female guests home.

Page’s  former RPC boss Dai Davies confirmed that members of the Royal family can bring in guests without checking them in, because it’s “their home.” Davies also confirmed that Prince was known to have many “glamorous good-looking young ladies,” but that he wasn’t aware any of them were underage.

To be fair, having random women show up at the palace probably isn’t anything new, but if they were brought to Andy by Ghislaine Maxwell, it doesn’t look good, eh?

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Lori Loughlin, the star of College Admissions Scam, went back to court this week with her College Admissions Scam designer husband, Mossimo Giannulli and if you saw her enter the courthouse, you’d know she thinks her goose is cooked.

The first time she appeared in court Loughlin was smiling and waving to “fans,” and may have even signed an autograph or bribery check, but this week, she was head down, eye contact avoiding and rushing into court.

Why? Well, Lori has ALLEGEDLY been Googling herself—and not in the fun way—and is a’scurred this won’t turn out well. But that’s what happens when you pay some hustler half-a-million dollars to make up fake credits, fake resumes, fake accomplishments, to get your two less-than-intelligent daughters into USC.

And even worse than waiting for a Google alert about yourself is the fact that Lori and Mossimo have seen their neighbors become just so busy they can’t come to the pool party, or return that cup of sugar, or be a character witness for them.

Prison might be a nice change.

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Well, Billy Bush … yes, that Billy Bush, the one who laughed as _____ talked about grabbing women “by the pussy” … has got a new gig.

Bush is set to host a revamped edition of Extra, now called ExtraExtra—who thinks of these names, they’re a genius?—and swears he will be better at this job than he was the last one.

Meaning that if a racist blob of orange goo jokes about grabbing women’s pussies, he won’t laugh.

Bitch, please, you will always be known as the man, the husband and father of daughters, who laughed about sexual assault. But, hey, at least you’re making coins again, right?

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Nothing funnier than a TV judge getting busted. Amirite, Judge Mathis?

It appears that a valet in Detroit has accused Mathis of being a cranky diva by shrieking at him and spitting at him because Mathis had to wait for his car like regular folk.

I hope the valet sues and Mathis goes before Judge Judy because she will hand him his ass in a hot minute!

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Oh, the Stewart-Goop Feud is heating up again, and I am living for it!

It seems that the Bloods and Crips of the lifestyle brand market—Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow—are at it again, and Martha has backup.

While on the season premiere of Barstool Sport’s The Corp podcast, Martha was asked by host Alex Rodriguez about her long-standing spat with Poop, er, Goop, and we learned that the beef is real, and still on-going. A-Rod asked Stewart about her businesses in the lifestyle, cooking and publishing markets, and then asked about Goop—because he’s banging JLo and he loves some tea—like this:

“How would you describe what Gwyneth Paltrow is doing today versus what Martha Stewart created years ago.”

And Martha, who has politely asked that Paltrow stick to acting … hehe “acting” … pulled an ‘I don’t know her’ moment about Gwynnie, saying:

“I don’t follow goop. Sometimes I look at products that she’s selling … I wish every young entrepreneur well and I hope that there are many, many, many different kinds of entrepreneurs … if they’re movie stars or hardworking women like I am, who are not movie stars… If they have a good idea, I want them to be able to succeed. So good luck, Gwyneth.”

If they are movie stars or hardworking women like I am.

Damn, Martha, you still got. Whoever said prison would soften you didn’t know what they were talking about.

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In the wake of the Is-Taylor-Swift-A-Drag-Queen  moment at the VMAs John Travolta is back on damage control for being a bona fide asshat.

Travolta was on Dallas-Fort Worth’s Hot 93.3, and when asked about the mess-up, he shrugged and made it sound like he didn’t mistake Jade for Taylor … except he did … and also said that no matter what he does … like totally f**king up Idina Menzel’s name, it makes headlines:

“There’s so many people that bombarded the stage, that I was looking for [Swift]. So, the video has me trying to find her, and you know, I thought it was so funny the way it was interpreted. And it’s cool, I didn’t care.”

But the point, ma’am, is that Swifty cared. You practically Kanye’d her again!

But the real gem of the interview is when he talked about other things he’s done that make news … and, no, he’s not talking about that lip-lock with his private pilot a few years ago; it’s this:

“If I shave my head, it’s headlines.”

Shave your head? Bitch, please, you took your rug off.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Shep Smith, Fox News, on the Michael Flynn plea agreement:

“The list of people who lied is getting longer and longer. That this is a ruse, that this is fake news—is a lie.”

Even Fox News, well, one person at Fox News, knows _____ is lying.

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Billy Bush, in a New York op-ed Times, on _____’s new claim that the Access Hollywood PussyGate tapes aren’t real:

“Of course he said it. And we laughed along, without a single doubt that this was hypothetical hot air from America’s highest-rated bloviator. Along with Donald Trump and me, there were seven other guys present on the bus at the time, and every single one of us assumed we were listening to a crass standup act. He was performing. Surely, we thought, none of this was real. We now know better.”

The Fat Bastard has yet to respond probably because he’s reliving his pussy groping moments.

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Dianne Feinstein, on building a case for obstruction of justice against _____:

“I think we see this in the indictments, the four indictments and pleas that have just taken place, and some of the comments that are being made. I see it in the hyper-frenetic attitude of the White House––the comments every day, the continual tweets. And I see it, most importantly, in what happened with the firing of Director Comey and it is my belief that that is directly because he did not agree to lift the cloud of the Russia investigation. That’s obstruction of justice.”

I cannot wait for this long national nightmare to be over.

Resist. Vote Blue.

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Gloria Estefan, accepting her Kennedy Center honor, and on how she feels that _____ did not attend:

“People here think you can never lose this, but you can lose this. We all have to stand up for what this country is, for its values. [And] I’m thankful he chose not to come. All it does is overshadow the accomplishments of people who spent a lifetime trying to do something.”

We won’t lose this because we can and will turn this around.

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Barack Obama, former, fabulous, president, responding to Akkai Padmashali, a transgender activist who runs the LGBTQ advocacy organization Ondede, who asked how she could make a difference in an anti-transgender world—specifically India’s Section 377, a law criminalizing homosexual acts that was reinstated in 2013:

“I think the answer is, it begins with what you just did, which is to find your voice and be able to articulate your views and your experiences, and tell your story. And that’s true of any group that is marginalized, stigmatized. Finding that voice, and being able to tell a story so that the perceptions somehow that you are different are broken down, because they start seeing their experiences in you. They see your humanity. Once that voice is there, hopefully others join you. So now you have networks, and organizations, and allies. And then, once that happens, it’s a matter of applying political pressure and being able to mobilize public opinion. Now, there is just an open acknowledgement, even among many conservative parties, that we should not be discriminating against persons because of sexual orientation. And that happened, in respect to human history, amazingly quickly. Now, in the span of one person’s lifetime, that can seem painfully long. But it requires a steady education of the public, and then a political strategy that puts pressure on elected officials, and that’s going to take some time.”

I miss him.

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Al Franken, Democratic Senator from Minnesota, resigning in the wake of sexual assault allegations from multiple women:

“I am well aware…there is irony that I am leaving while a man who has bragged on tape about assaulting women is in the Oval Office and a man who has repeatedly preyed on young girls is running for Senate with full support of his party.”

I hate to see him go, but you cannot demand that the Fat Bastard be ousted, or Roy Moore not elected, and then let a Democrat slide.

Harassment is harassment is harassment.

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It's Snarkurday!

Poor pitiful Billy Bush—who let a lunatic say vile things about women, including Bush’s own wife and daughters and all women everywhere—had hoped a recent Hollywood Reporter cover and interview, plus a GMA chat would jump-start his career ... it didn’t.

“He thought he was going to be welcomed back by the world ... and the only thing you learned ... is that Billy wants to be on TV. He felt that taking seven or eight months off, he’d slip his way back in, get some press and people would be beating down his door, and no one did.”

But those close to him—no doubt on his payroll—say Billy has already fielded a few offers, including one for a syndicated major show hitting this fall.

Um, yeah, I call bull shiz on that, because if any major show wanted Bush, he’d have jumped at the chance since, after eight months of being ‘away,’ most of the country, and the world, were like, ‘Billy who?’

Take a seat, Billy, we’ll call you when we need but don’t hold your breath.

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Gosh, when people who have a modicum of fame, but no real job, fight, it becomes news.

I’m looking at you, Brandi Glanville ... and your ex-husband, Eddie Cibrian and his current, though clearly not last, wife LeAnn Rimes.  These tools are still fighting and sniping, and now Brandi says that LeAnn has been stalking her and her boyfriend Donald Friese on social media because, that’s what all the kids ... and self-absorbed, unemployed grown-ups ... are doing, apparently.

And so Eddie released a statement saying LeAnn would never stalk someone on social media—though we all know she has—and then accused Brandi of being a drama-creating mess—and we all know that’s true:

“Brandi was very drunk and after already being at our table, started to come back again. Her boyfriend ‘ran interference’ and came to ask if she could take photos with the kids ... I was concerned about what pictures Brandi might post. We looked at their socials after we got home to make sure there was nothing of concern. That’s exactly how it all went down.”

Uh huh. Nice try, Eddie, but get a job, and a life, and a wife that has a job.

Then Brandi, whose ‘career’ was a short-lived stint on reality TV as a drunken mess, shot off her own statement, er, “proof” of the ALLEGED stalking ... a screen grab from Snapchat:

“[Eddie’s] statement does not explain why LeAnn and her assistant were both viewing my boyfriend’s Snapchats prior to our arrival at the restaurant. At the moment we saw them at Nobu we questioned the timing and saw they had viewed the Snapchats prior.”

Gosh, Brandi, set down the liquor and get a job. Be a parent to your children and not a child yourself.

Sheesh! All y’all grow the eff up.

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Last year, Reese Witherspoon was part of an Entertainment Weekly round-table for leading ladies and revealed that she started her own production company because she was sent an awful script for a romantic comedy and was offered the “girlfriend part”; she was told that several A-list women were chasing this terrible role and that’s when she knew she needed to start her own production company. She ended up by throwing shade at the actors in that film:

“And by the way, two Oscar winners did it.”

Rumor is that the film in question was A Million Ways to Die in the West and Charlize Theron was the Oscar winner who stooped to playing the “girlfriend.

Now, Reese has taken part in another roundtable—this time for The Hollywood Reporter—and dredged up that story again and then shaded someone else in a new blind item:

“I was talking to this very famous actor and I said, ‘How did you prepare for this role?’ He said, ‘Well, I went into the woods for three weeks and I didn’t talk to anybody.’ And this person has a lot of kids and is married. And he’s like, ‘You did the same thing for Wild, right?’ I was like, ‘Uh, no.’ If I went away for three weeks and no one could call me, everybody would’ve had a mental breakdown. I got on a plane and was shooting within 24 hours.”

People are saying this latest shade was at Leonardo DiCaprio, though Leo isn’t married or have kids. So ...maybe  Matthew McConaughey? He sounds like he’d play the method actor line as an excuse to get away from his wife and kids and play the Nude Bongos again.

But the big question is: who knew Reese could throw so much shade?

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So, to sell more music Katy Perry did what was billed as Katy Perry’s Witness Live Stream, where she live-streamed her life on YouTube for four solid days. One of the high points—low points—was when Katy rated three of her ex-lovers ... John Mayer—first place—Orlando Bloom—second place—and Diplo—dead last.

The Diplo Tryst was a one-off in between Mayer and Bloom and he had his own response to Katy via Twitter:

“I don't even remember having sex.”

Ow. So he’s her worst, and she’s the one he doesn’t remember.

Again ... ow.

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Poor Tom Cruise ... after the awful opening weekend of The Mummy many are saying he’s in a “slow motion career meltdown” and soon studios won’t even want to invest in trying to make another Cruise franchise happen because, for the first time, Tom Cruise is getting a big chunk of the blame for a film failure. 

Usually, everyone else involved with the film will fall on their swords to ‘save’ someone like Tommy, but not this time, and Variety has a deliciously dishy piece on how The Mummy’s failures are all on Tom ... like:

Cruise “had an excessive amount of control” over the reboot, set to be the start of a mega-franchise for Universal Pictures, but instead, it’s a textbook case of a spoiled movie star gone wild because Tommy exerted nearly complete creative oversight on the film ... down to the smallest details.

And Universal let it happen; they contractually guaranteed Cruise control of of the project, from script approval to post-production decisions, marketing and release strategy. And so, with terrible reviews, The Mummy, which cost as much as $190 million to make and a $100 million more to market, will struggle to make its money back.

And part of the problem is that Cruise selected Alex Kurtzman, a relatively untested director with no experience directing a big-budget action film, and then Cruise acted as though he was the director while Kurtzman “struggled to adjust to scope of the project.” Cruise also brought in two of his friends—Christopher McQuarrie and Dylan Kussman—to rewrite his part into that Standard Tom Cruise Hero Role; and people say this bulked up Tom’s part, and his ego, while diminishing the roles of others in the film. He also hired his favorite editor and then “spent time in the editing suite overseeing the cutting’ to make sure he looked good. People speculate that it was less about making a good film than it was about making Cruise look good.

And while there are some who say that Cruise was doing whatever he could to save a movie that was doomed from the start, most people on the film are saying the mess is all Tom Cruise’s fault ... because his ego is out oif control and he’s desperate to create another movie franchise so he can bank millions and still give millions to Scientology.

Poor Tom, if only he’d unwrapped L. Ron Hubbard and brought him to the premiere the film might have done better ... or, maybe he should have asked Brendan Fraser, star of the 1990s The Mummy to come along, because all of Fraser’s Mummy movies made more than this mess.

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If you ever thought that Poor Chris Brown gets a raw deal in the press for being an abusive, ego-maniacal man-boy with a bad temper, think on this:

Earlier this year, his ex-girlfriend Karrueche Tran got a temporary restraining order after Chris ALLEGEDLY threatened to kill her.

And now, Karrueche was back in court telling the judge that things got bad after she and Chris broke up. He wanted her to return several rings he gave her and when she refused, he  threatened her in a text messages, ALLEGEDLY beat her and then wrote “Imma kill blood” under a photo of her and Michael B. Jordan.

Chris didn’t show up in court, but tried to phone in until the judge denied him. Then the judge sided with Karrueche and gave her a permanent restraining order valid for the next five years.

Five.Years. No judge does that just because of a bad breakup. Chris Brown is a menace.

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I remember when Halle Berry won the Oscar for Monster’s Ball and then followed that up with Gothika. Huge comedown from Oscar winner to Awful Film Choices.

And I remember when Charlize Theron won the Oscar for Monster and then followed that up with Aeon Flux. Huge comedown from Oscar winner to Awful Film Choices.

But that’s not all Charlize and Halle have in common anymore ... at least not now that Charlize is dating Halle’s ex, and one of her Baby Daddy’s, Gabriel Aubry.

A source says Nahla, Gabriel’s daughter with Halle, and Charlize’s son Jackson go to the same private school and so they see each other in the pick-up lane after school.

And now, rather than wave hello in the carpool line, they wave goodbye after breakfast.

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Leonardo DiCaprio was forced to surrender an Oscar originally won by Marlon Brando to the U.S. government because it was given to him by an ALLEGEDLY dirty movie production company now in the feds’ crosshairs. The Department of Justice is also looking to seize the rights Dumb and Dumber Too and Daddy’s Home, as well as a trove of valuable art and movie memorabilia belonging to Red Granite Pictures.

The feds say money that was ALLEGEDLY stolen by corrupt Malaysian officials was funneled through Red Granite and used to finance films.The department filed a civil suit last year demanding all profits from DiCaprio’s 2013 film The Wolf of Wall Street claiming it was financed with laundered loot.

Red Granite gave Leo the Oscar Brando won as a thank-you for his work on the film and he has now passed it along to the government.

I wonder what will happen when the National park Service comes for his The Revenant Oscar?

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So, Scott Disick used to be married to a Kardastrophe ... I don’t know which one and, well, I don’t care ... and that. marriage ended because he was ALLEGEDLY a drunken adulterous mess. Now that he’s single, he’s given up the adultery but stayed with the drunkenness.

At some point Scott Disick and some actress called Bella Thorne hooked up and then went to the Cannes Film Festival to pose in front of photographers. And then ... as soon as it started it was over because Bella couldn’t stand Drunk Disick and said as much in an interview:

“Scott is really nice, sweet, charming. I don’t drink, and he really drinks a lot. And it just ended up … I just wasn’t down ... I love to go out and have fun, I love to fucking dance, but I just don’t party hardcore like that and it was way too much for me. I was like, ‘Woah, this is not the way I live my life, bruh.’”

I’m’a let the ‘bruh’ lie there—although it’s another on my Do Not Say List—and simply end with this:

Bella? Had you watched just one episode of that Kraptastic Kardastrophe show you’d have known what a drunk Disick could be and you never would have gotten on a plane, or, ew, in a bed with him.

Just sayin’.

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Finally, some sweet news ...

The Bat-Signal shone over Los Angeles City Hall this past Thursday night in tribute to the late Adam West—the campy TV Batman from the 60s—who passed away last week at the age of 88.

In Batman comics, movies and TV shows, the Bat-Signal was shown on the night sky as a call for Batman’s help.

Batman is often referred to as the Dark Knight, but West’s children said in a statement that Adam West aspired to positivity and always saw himself as “The Bright Knight.”

RIP Adam "Batman" West.

Bam! Pow!

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I Didn't Say It ...

Pete Buttigieg, on those Notre Dames grads who walked out on Mike Pence:

“What I appreciate about it is it’s clear that the students want to express their commitment to tolerance and the values that they believe a Catholic University ought to uphold, and that this administration is not compatible with those values. And at the same time, I think they found a very respectful way to do it.”

Let me make this queer: the school has a right to ask Pence to speak, and Pence has a right to speak, and the students have a right to walk out in protest.

It’s called Free Speech for a reason.

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Wilbur Ross, U.S. Commerce Secretary, on the absence of protestors in Saudi Arabia:

“There was not a single hint of a protester anywhere there during the whole time we were there. Not one guy with a bad placard.”

Saudi Arabia often beheads protestors, something Wilbur didn’t really seem to care about.

PS Wilbur is the same f%k who called _____’s bombing of Syria the “after dinner entertainment” at Mar-a-Lago.

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Billy Bush, trying to revive his career after being _____’s sidekick in PussyGate:

“My [then] 15-year-old, Mary, called me ... in tears: ‘Dad, Dad, Dad,’ and I said, ‘Everything is going to be fine, Mary. Everything’s going to be OK.’ It’s just instinctively what you say to your daughter. And she said, ‘No, why were you laughing at the things that he was saying on that bus, Dad? They weren’t funny.’”

Odd that a fifteen year old girl knows how disgusting that conversation was and Dad had no idea, even though he was raising daughters.

He never once thought that this could be _____ speaking about his girls, his wife, or any woman he worked with; he just laughed.

And now he’s trying to redeem himself.

Sorry Billy, you’ll always be the guy who laughed about sexual harassment.

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Mo’Nique, actress and comic, who won an Oscar for Precious, on being shunned by Hollywood:

“What is that black d—k connected to? That black man? So no, I was not blackballed. I was white-balled by some black d—ks who have no balls. Thank you, Mr. Lee Daniels. Thank you, Mr. Tyler Perry. Thank you, Ms. Oprah Winfrey. I know they like to say, ‘Mo’Nique, you talk too motherf—kin’ much.’ It would kill me not to say the real s—t … You are not paying me equally. You are not treating me fairly, so you can suck my d—k if I had one. I got a phone call from Lee Daniels [in 2015] and he said to me, ‘Mo’Nique, you’ve been blackballed.’ And I said, ‘I’ve been blackballed? Why have I been blackballed?’ And he said, ‘Because you didn’t play the game.' There have been people that have said, ‘Mo’Nique, she can be difficult.’ They could probably be right. One of the networks said to [Daniels] that I was ‘really difficult to work with.’ And I said, ‘Well, that’s funny, because I’ve never even worked with them, but OK.’ I was offered the role in ‘The Butler’ that Oprah Winfrey played. I was also approached by ‘Empire’ to be on ‘Empire.’ And I was also offered the role as Richard Pryor’s grandmother [in a new biopic about the late comedian]. Each of those things that [Daniels] offered me was taken off the table. They all just went away. But that’s just part of the business, you know? I can’t be upset at anybody, ’cause life is too good. It’s just what it is.”

Strong opinionated black woman.

Just sayin’.

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Jason Chaffetz, saying that people who leak information, even about crimes like colluding with Russia to steal an election, should be punished:

“I don’t care who it is. Democrat or Republican, you cannot have that happen. You probably ought to put some handcuffs on them and put them in jail.”

Yeah, the people who speak out about the crime, even anonymously, should be punished, while those who commit the crimes go free?

And then what about _____ who leaked confidential information to the Russians, Jason? Where are your cried of ‘Lock him up’ now. You pandering f%k?

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