Bobservations

I like to scare Carlos because, well, I’m a child. So, when I come home from work I often sneak into the house, knowing he’s in the back office. I creep down the hallway stand at the door watching him on the computer and says:

“Boo.”

He always jumps and I always, again, because I’m a child laugh and clap my hands. Now, he has tried to do the same to me, but he doesn’t succeed because, since I do it to him, I am always ready for him, so when he jumps out and says ‘Boo’ I just say ‘Hello.’

One day this week I pulled into the garage and thought of a new tactic. I sent him a text saying I was just leaving work and would be home soon. I crept into the house, and I could hear his Siri reading him my text. Then he sent one back to me saying that dinner was ready. I crept down the hallway; I stood outside the office and saw him on the computer. I texted him, and he asks his Siri to read it to him:

‘Bob sent a new text: ‘Boo.’

And then I yelled ‘Boo’ and had to peel him off the ceiling.

I am such a child.

As I told Carlos, you may think Mary’s outfit was too short, but at least I didn’t see her vagina. Can’t say the same about Melanie.

Remington, the maker of the rifle used in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting to murder 20 first-graders and six teachers in 2012, has been ordered to pay victims’ families $73 million in damages.

Good. It’s a start.

It's OK for a cat to run away and hide under the bed when visitors turn up, but when I do it, I’m called antisocial.

The GOP is outraged about inflation and will running on that in 2022, but …

The Federal Reserve—which is in charge of fighting inflation—has 5 open seats to which President Biden nominated 5 highly qualified candidates and yet the Republicans didn’t even show up to the hearing.

Inflation is the fault of the GOP because they will fuck you and this country to keep themselves in power.

Thing 45’s new social media platform touts the return of Free Speech … if you have $4.99 a week to spend on it.

PS The truth is that $4.99 per week is going right into Thing 45’s pocket.

Dr. Deborah Birx has a memoir coming out that will focus on her contentious time as White House coronavirus task force coordinator in Thing 45’s administration.

Sorry, Deb, not interested in how you goose-stepped along with misinformation and outright lies while people died. You should have had a spine installed when you had the chance.

Sometimes when Carlos is in a hurry, he just hooks my leash to a chain outside the store while he shops inside.

Lauren Boebert has been named “Hottest Woman in Congress” by some MAGAt group, and she proudly posed alongside the award.

Note they spelled her name wrong on the award, and someone used a Sharpie—the Official Pen of QAnon loons and Traitors—to correct it.

Even better, the award came with a gift certificate to Red Lobster.

Garrett Swann is a digital marketing strategist and a social media influencer and model, and openly gay man, and kind of a salt-and-pepper hottie. So, Would You hit It?

Bobservations

I have a morbid sense of humor and I love it; some folks, though, do not.

As y’all know, Gloria passed away last week, but she had been in declining health for several weeks before that. While we were in Oregon, we were having lunch in Portland and Carlos got a call from a Family Member. Family Member told Carlos Gloria was dying, and did he want to say his last goodbye; he did, and then I did. And then he and I sat in the restaurant and cried.

Thing was, Gloria did not die. A few days later Family Member called again; Gloria’s breathing was very shallow, she seemed to be unconscious, and her blood pressure was falling. We once again got on the phone and told her we loved her and all that she meant to us, and then we cried again.

And again, Gloria did not die. Family Member called us on two other occasions to tell us The End Was Near only to find out it was not. I reminded Carlos that Gloria never really liked Family Member, and that perhaps Gloria, because she was La Bruja , was feigning the dying, just to irk the Family Member.

And I may have been right, because the day Gloria passed, Family Member called us in the morning to say that Gloria had slept well, eaten a little something, and seemed to be very comfortable.

A few hours later she passed.

She went on her own timetable, her own terms, and not the one set by Family Member . I will love that forever.

Even Tuxedo can see that the GOP doesn’t run for office on what they can do for you, but they run on fear and scare tactics and threats that disappear as soon as the ballots are counted.

Rightwingnut and anti-vaxxer loon Sherri Tenpenny was one of the asshats at the ReAwaken America rally held last weekend at right-wing pastor John Hagee’s Cornerstone Church in Texas.

And how, other than being a rightwingnut and anti-vaxxer loon, do we know Tenpenny is a nut? Well, at that rally she called giving vaccines to children an effort to carry out “very, very, very, very late-term abortion.”

"Late term" as in five to thirteen years after the child is born. Seriously.

The Wyoming GOP has voted to no longer recognize Liz Cheney as a Republican because she is not a traitor to her country and a minion of Thing 45. On the other hand, the Wyoming GOP has no issue whatsoever with Paul Gosar, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert and Matt Gaetz.

That speaks volumes. 

As traitors and insurrectionists and rightwing snowflakes ransacked the Capitol on January 6, and Thing 45 stood watching and getting a wee orange woody in his pants, both Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin each thought about using the 25th Amendment to remove him from office.

The only trouble was that, by January 6, it was too late because it would have taken too long and the inauguration would have happened before Thing 45 was removed.

Now neither Pompeo nor Mnuchin will comment because … little bitches.

ABC News reporter Jonathan Karl's new book, Betrayal, gives an account of the final days Thing 45s administration and we learn how tone deaf and complicit the Feckless C*nt and her Eunuch behaved.

Ivanka and Jared had a dinner party at their home the night after the insurrection and never made a single mention of what happened the day before. Why? It appears it was because Ivanka hoped that by ignoring it she could set herself apart from it and one day run for President herself.

Feckless C*nt.

I can’t look at this and not laugh. This is an actual ad for condoms that has been appearing in Brazilian magazines and posters and on TV. It’s perfection.

Marjorie Taylor Greene says Speaker Pelosi has fined her over $60,500 in mask fines. She still refuses to wear a mask and is not vaccinated and seems proud to stand against the tide. But, when this asshat travels by plane, she is fully masked inside the airport and on the flight to avoid being removed from the flight and arrested.

She is, again, a pandering, lying hypocritical POS.

Just so we're clear that the judge in the Kenosha Murderer’s case is a biased racist fuckmonkey, remember that he dismissed the charge of  "possession of a dangerous weapon by a person under 18" even though the murderer was 17 when he killed two people in cold blood.

In this week’s edition of Would You Hit It we feature Anton Lap, a model, dancer, photographer and fitness trainer.

Would. You. Hit. It. Yes or No?

Tuesday Thought #3

Tuesday Thought #4

Tuesday Thought #4

Tuesday Thought #2

Bobservations

Reasons Not To Vote Republican #62158

Florida GOP Congressman, Gus Bilirakis is “excited” to announce his first “annual” summit for women that will feature “relevant topics” for women “that have a direct impact on their lives.”

Like gardening. And weight loss. Yup. And nope; he’s not kidding.

Bilirakis opposes Obamacare, a health care law supported by most Americans, but one that especially benefits women by making their basic health care, including contraceptive care, more accessible and affordable. He doesn’t like that part, so instead he’ll give gardening tips.

Bilirakis also voted many times against reauthorizing the State Children’s Health Insurance Program [SCHIP] which provides access to health care for children of low-income families., but, hey, he has some low-cal recipes for y’all.

The summit also features financial planning advice for women, even though Bilirakis voted against equal pay bill in 2007, and voted against the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009.

Bilirakis also opposes marriage equality. And he voted against the Violence Against Women Act. And against paid parental leave for federal workers.

But again, he’ll tell you how to grow your own salad.

Balenciaga—Spanish for “suckers will buy anything”—already pranked fash-holes with a $2,145 hideous knock-off of the luxurious IKEA bag and created CROCS on steroids, has a new shirt for y’all.

Balenciaga’s website is selling the “double” shirt; the one on the left sells for $1,490) and the one on the right is the cheaper version, for $1,290.

And, no, you’re not seeing things: the shirts are button-down dress shirts sewn onto t-shirts.

That’s all.

Reasons Not To Vote Republican #79631

Complicit _____ has been keeping a lower profile lately, well, at least after her cheerful smiling selfies in Jerusalem while children were being murdered a few miles away.

But this week she reappeared on social media and posted a picture of herself with one of her children … while Daddy’s Corrupt Administration is fighting off rumors that they lost 1500 immigrant children that they took away from their parents.

Out of touch doesn’t begin to explain it …

Mitt Romney revealed this week that he voted for his wife, Ann “Let Them Eat Cake” Romney in the 2016 presidential election because he couldn’t vote for _____ or Clinton.

His wife also revealed this week that she didn’t vote for Mitt in the 2012 presidential election.

Reasons Not To Vote Republican #91456

Alabama GOP Congressman Mo Brooks, who just a week ago claimed rising sea levels was due to rocks falling into the oceans, now claims that “people who lead good lives” don’t have pre-existing conditions, and people without pre-existing conditions have “done things the right way.”

So, you know, if you get cancer, it’s your fault.

If you have a heart attack you’re to blame.

Basically, Books is claiming that people don’t deserve affordable healthcare because “people who lead good lives” don’t have pre-existing conditions; and if you do have a pre-existing condition, you probably deserve it because you have not been living a “good” life.

Again, the GOP does not care about anyone but themselves and their donors.

Kim Kardastrophe met with _____ this week at the White House to discuss prison reform.

Seriously. Two of the bigest asses in the world in the same room!

Reasons Not To Vote Republican #12866

GOP Congressman Dana Rohrabacher told a group of Realtors that homeowners should be able to refuse to sell their property to LGBT buyers:

“Every homeowner should be able to make a decision not to sell their home to someone (if) they don’t agree with their lifestyle. We’ve drawn a line on racism, but I don’t think we should extend that line. A homeowner should not be required to be in business with someone they think is doing something that is immoral.”

His ignorance ignited a protest by a Realtor gay-rights group, prompting the National Association of Realtors to withdraw its recommendation that members send campaign contributions to Rohrabacher.

Perhaps we should suggest that homeowners be allowed not to sell properties to Republicans?

I have been sharing this everywhere because it makes me giggle … It was posted on this here blog in my post about Roseanne by Debra She Who Seeks, and she said...

The best joke I've heard so far about this is:

Use "Ambien" in a sentence, Roseanne.

"I Ambien a racist!"

I’m still giggling.

 Reasons Not To Vote Republican #17311

New York Republican Congressman Peter King had a _____-sized Twitter meltdown last week when New York Jets acting owner Christopher Johnson said he would pay the fines for any of his players who continued to kneel during the national anthem:

“Disgraceful that @nyjets owner will pay fines for players who kneel for National Anthem. Encouraging a movement premised on lies vs. police. Would he support all player protests? Would he pay fines of players giving Nazi salutes or spew racism? It’s time to say goodbye to Jets!”

Yes, he equated a peaceful, nonviolent protest against racism and discrimination in America with being a Nazi.

On this rainy Memorial Day weekend, at a home in Smallville, one husband said to the other husband …

“You wanna see a movie today? There’s a documentary on Ruth Bader Ginsburg at the Nickelodeon in Columbia. We could go and them have lunch at Michael’s after.”

Long pause and then the other husband says …

“What do you wanna do today?’

I know!

Not to be outdone in the GOP Idiocy Contest, we have a Democrat …

Democratic Florida state Congresswoman Kim Daniels, an exorcist preacher whose bill requiring all public schools to display “In God We Trust” goes into effect this summer, has some thoughts about dolls:

 “Most idolatry is rooted in fetishism. Simply put, a fetish is an object with a spirit attached to it. If we’re not vigilant, we can open doors to familiar spirits in our lives and homes simply by the items we possess and the practices we keep.”

Dolls have filled with sprits invading our homes from toy stores.

Last year Daniels went on Facebook Live to pray against the witches attacking Trump, and she also made news this year when she thanked God for slavery because otherwise she “might be somewhere in Africa worshiping a tree.”

Seriously, shouldn’t she be a Republican?

Okay, I posted my bit about Roseanne, but the same day that happened, we learned that 79-times as many people as we thought had died died in Puerto Rico during Hurricane Maria.

Over 4,000 people dead.

Keep that in your head and let Roseanne wash away.

Reasons Not To Vote Republican #21916

Republican Missouri Governor Eric Greitens resigned this week amid a sexual misconduct scandal and allegations of misuse of a charity donor list; Greitens had previously said he would not quit his post despite the allegations against him and a possible impeachment,.

The traditional family values candidate, and _____ lover, was accused of taking and transmitting a non-consensual—partially nude—photo of a woman with whom he was having an affair.

What? A family values Republican cheating on his wife? Who’d a thunk it?

We stared watching Trust this week, the story of the Getty family. It stars Donald Sutherland so, yeah, it’s good. But the butler, Bullimore, played by Silas Carson is kinda tickling my ivories.

We’re also watching Genius: Picasso, and Charlie Carrick plays one of Pablo’s mentors; he could mentor me any day. Am I using that word right?

And on this washout weekend, I watched Mark Felt: The Man Who Took Down The White House and loved, for all the right reasons, Marton Csokas as acting FBI director L. Patrick Gray; he could interrogate me any time.

Just sayin’.

Bobservations

This past Monday evening, as I was picking Carlos up from work, I said:

“I’m gonna take tomorrow off and finish priming the bedroom.”

I have some personal days and thought I’d use one. Carlos said fine, mainly because we are tired of sleeping in a queen-sized bed with three cats. That next day, I drove him to work, went home and began painting. Around noon, the phone rings and it’s Carlos:

“I called work and they said you didn’t come in.”

I replied:

“I told you I was taking the day off to paint.”

“But you said ‘tomorrow,’ so I thought you meant Wednesday.”

“Honeybunch? When a person says ‘tomorrow’ on Monday, they mean Tuesday, because on Monday Wednesday is the day after tomorrow.”

Lord, that man.

Sidenote: when Carlos called me at work that Tuesday, my boss thought I hadn’t told Carlos I was taking the day off, and didn’t want to get me into any trouble, or insert himself into what he thought might be a fight, and so he told Carlos I was ‘indisposed.

After Ben Carson tried to buy a dining table for $31,000, we found out that the Interior Department spent nearly $139,000 on a work order labeled as “Secretary’s Door.” The project was carried out by a Maryland company called Conquest Solutions … the only company to bid on the job … that specializes in building automation systems, like costly doors.

Now comes the part that’s hard to believe, I mean, if you believe a door can cost $139,000; a spokes-idiot for Interior Department Secretary Ryan Zinke claims the cost of the doors was news to her, and that the work was requested by career staffers as part of a building modernization effort; she claimed that historic preservation requirements and new locks raised the cost.

Uh huh; so, you do know the cost, or you don’t know the cost? And if this is part of an historic restoration, how does an automatic door fit into that.

Let’s have Democratic Congressman Adam Schiff have the last word on the matter:

"What a waste. Just think how many dining sets you could have bought or private jets you could have chartered with that money."

The grifters are running the government, people. Get out; resist; vote.

After allegedly threatening to take his life last month over allegations that he raped two underage boys, Ronnie Gorton, a married father and pastor of The Awakening Church in Tennessee, was indicted on 47 counts of illegal relations with three underage boys including five counts of aggravated sexual battery, 17 counts of sexual battery by an authority figure, two counts of continuous sexual abuse of a child, 16 counts of statutory rape by an authority figure, two counts of exploitation of a minor by electronic means, two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, two counts of purchasing alcohol for a child, and one count of rape.

Yup, the pastor f**ks children.  Just sayin’.

In Bye Felicia News … Victoria Miller and her three daughters, the Christian owners of W.W. Bridal Boutique in Pennsylvania have decided to close their business due to fears that impending ordinance would require their public business serve all the public and stop denying service to lesbian couples:

 “The members of our town council have made it known they will pass an ordinance soon. We have chosen to close rather than be forced to go against our faith.”

Um, Victoria, you can still practice your Bigotry and Hate Faith, you just can’t use it to deny services to people.M’kay?

Look! A grifter! It looks like _____ isn’t the only _____ with potential conflicts of interest in the White House.

Ivanka “Complicit” _____, an ALLEGED senior White House adviser will pull in more than $1 million a year from the family business that has continued to develop luxury resorts across the globe during the ______ sham presidency.

And, some of those _____-branded developments are hiring state-owned companies for construction, receiving gifts from foreign governments in the form of public land or eased regulations and accepting payments from customers who are foreign officials.

Yes, she’s a thief and lair and grifter and con artist, just like her husband and her daddy.

Meanwhile, Back at Ben Carson’s $31, 000 dining table for his office.

When the story broke, Carson and his staff claimed they had no knowledge of the cost of the table, but since they all work for _____, we now know that was a lie.

Newly released emails show Carson and his wife selected the furniture themselves. The email, with the subject line “Secretary’s dining room set needed,” sent to Carson’s assistant refers to “printouts of the furniture the Secretary and Mrs. Carson picked out.”

The Secretary picked out.

Yup, it’s a swampy slime-fest in DC, thanks to _____ and his ilk.

Dennis Alexander is a teacher and a reserve police officer.

Dennis Alexander was teaching a course about gun safety for his Administration of Justice class.

Dennis Alexander accidentally fired that gun inside the classroom injuring three students.

But, by all means, arm teachers. What could possibly go wrong?

The NRA proved once again what a disgusting group of terrorists they are, and in doing so are practically guaranteeing that millions of teenagers, who will be old enough to vote for the first time in November, will be Democrats.

In an effort to counter calls for new gun control legislation on Wednesday, the same day that thousands of students across the country, and the world, walked out of schools to protest gun violence, the NRA tweeted a picture that image depicting an AR-15 style rifle, the same gun used in the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting, with the caption, “I’ll control my own guns, thank you.”

Vile. Mocking students who watched as classmates were slaughtered by the very same kind of weapon they want everyone to own.

I hope these students keep marching and talking and protesting and voting. I’ll be doing the same right alongside them.

South Carolina’s GOP Governor, Henry McMaster, who just yesterday called the student walkout “disgraceful”, proved how disgusting a man he is by issuing an executive order Tuesday that allows foster care providers to discriminate based on religion without losing their license.

For decades, the Greenville-based Miracle Hill Ministries has only allowed foster children to be placed with parents who share the organization’s Christian beliefs. That practice came under fire when a new regulation took effect thanks to My President, Barack Obama, that prevented publicly licensed and funded foster care agencies from servicing specific religions.

But McMaster is all about discrimination. Luckily, he’s up for reelection and I’m hoping the people of South Carolina put an end to his career.

Palate Cleanser… this week on Homeland, Carrie enlisted a team to help her get information out of a suspect, and, well, if I was ever going to get roughed up for information, these three sides of beef could dot …just saying.

Clockwise, from the top, Hot Ginger William Popp, Beefcake Clé Bennett and snarky James D'Arcy.

Interrogate me, boys!