The Funny Papers

Kevin Siers, Deb Milbrath, Ann Telnaes, JD Crowe, Darrin Bell, Drew Sheneman, MacLeod, Nick Anderson, Lalo Alcaraz, Mike Luckovich, Dave Whamond, Bill Bramhall, Michael de Adder, Jack Ohman, Bill Day, Clay Bennett,

Bobservations

The other night Carlos was at a rehearsal—he joined another musician playing at our local Catholic Church—and I was home. I let Ozzo outside and saw a black-and-white cat on the deck. I thought nothing about it, but then I couldn’t find Consuelo and I thought what I’d taken as black-and-white was actually Calico in the twilight, so I headed to the back deck again. I walked outside and the little black-and-white cat came up and rubbed against me and purred; then she rubbed against Ozzo. She seemed well-fed and perfectly healthy, so I assumed she was just visiting Casa Bob y Carlos … and Ozzo. I told Carlos about the cat when he got home and he said:

“We can’t have another cat.”

I replied:

“To be fair, we once had seven cats, so we can have another bringing us to four, but we don’t need another cat, and this one belongs to somebody in the neighborhood.”

Cut to Christmas Day and the little cat returned, to the front porch this time, and Carlos … wait for it … it’s grand … took the cat dinner.

We are never going to get rid of this cat, I told him as he began thinking of names.

UPDATE: The cat, which … wait for it … Carlos has named Comet … visits our porch every afternoon for dinner. It’s only a matter of time before Comet comes inside.

Even Tuxedo looks at this talk show quack with a side-eye … and he’s not fond of Dr, Oz either.

Well, I felt the earth move … this past Tuesday we had an earthquake in Smallville, registering 3.3 on the Richter scale and centered just a few miles from Casa Bob y Carlos.

We shook, but nothing broke.

Republican asshat Rand Paul has accused Democrats of stealing elections by … wait for it … he’s the dumbest man on planet Earth … by convincing people to register as democrats and then vote in every election.

No, seriously, this is his idea of stealing.

As the goddess is my witness I thought the delivery man said, ‘Sign my package’ and not ‘I need a signature for the package.’

GOP Congressman Adam Kinzinger said the House select committee investigating the January 6 attack on the Capitol is looking into whether Thing 45 acted criminally in connection to the Capitol riots.

Prove it, and then have Hillary Clinton go on TV to shout:

“Lock him up!”

That would be Must See TV.

Smallville, AKA Camden, is the oldest inland city in South Carolina, having been established in 1733, and the folks here, the older ones, do not like change.

That picture above is an old bank at the corner of Broad and Dekalb in Camden. The faux stonework on the front is being removed and the old windows are being put back in and people are outraged, most notably, because the twirling sign on the front of the building, which gave time and temperature is being removed.

The building is being restored back to the way it looked when it was built in the early 1900s—see below—and the folks on Facebook, clearly older folks, are asking how they will tell time and temperature now,

Best answer: look at your damned phone.

Michele Morrone is an Italian actor, model, singer, fashion designer hunk of prosciutto.

Would you hit it?

The Funny Papers Pt 2: The Rest