Thursday, April 27, 2017

Random Musings

Ivanka _____ was in Germany this week, attending a women’s summit and getting booed for saying her father, AKA PussyGrabber, empowers women.

At the same time, PussyGrabber, AKA President _____, was hosting UN Ambassadors at the White House and asked those assembled if his pick for Us Ambassador, Nikki Haley, was being nice to them; he then added, “If she isn’t, we’ll get rid of her.”

Ah, that’s empowering.
There was a recent piece of legislation proposed in Maryland called the Rape Survivor Family Protection Act, which would have allowed women who have children as a result of rape to block the rapists’ parental rights.

See, if a woman chooses to raise the child herself, it could mean her rapist would become a part of her life for the next 18 years; or, the rapist could hinder efforts to place the child up for adoption by demanding parental rights.

The panel reportedly ran out of time on the last day of the state’s General Assembly and let the legislation fall by the wayside.  The Assembly isn’t set to reconvene until Jan. 10, 2018. Maryland remains one of seven states without a law that protects women from being forced to share custody with their rapists.

Oh, and before I forget, there was not one single woman on that panel; it was a group of men who let that legislation fall by the wayside.
The first season of Feud ended Sunday and it was fabulouuuuuus! Now, they’re working on Season Two about Princess Diana’s tumultuous marriage. But, because the show is so popular, the third season is in the works and creator Ryan Murphy has said it will be gay-themed.

As if Feud: Bette & Joan wasn’t gay-themed? But I digress ...

Since he’s done female-on-female and male-on-female face-offs, he’s got a male-on-male feud in mind:
“I have one good idea, but I have to get the right actors. It’s something Mark Ruffalo and I had talked about hearing. He’s a buddy of mine from The Normal Heart, so we talked about something, but I don’t know yet. I haven’t locked into it.”
Beyond that, though, his lips are sealed—he won’t begin Season three for another year—so we’ve got time for the details, but ...

Who do you think a gay-themed third season of Feud should involve?
So ... two new shows, two hot men.

Starz has a new bodice-ripper, The White Princess, about King Henry VII and Elizabeth of York. It stars Jacob Collin’s Levy, right, as Henry and, well, I’ll just say, one episode in, Henry has a fine ass.

Also, Showtime has Guerrilla, about the Civil Rights movement in England in the 1970s and it stars perennial Hot Man, Idris Elba—left ... swoon—although he’s wearing an awful haircut in this one; still, he’s Idris Elba.

That’s all.
Shawn Barber, Canadian Olympic pole vault champion, has come out as gay in a Facebook post:
“Gay and proud! Thank you to my parents for being such a great support. I continue to grow as a person and have a great support group. My parents are my greatest support and have helped me through a lot recently. To my friends, you are always my friends and I love you too!”
Of course he’s gay, I said to Carlos, he’s a “pole” vaulter. He's also a hottie.

I apologize for that, and send Shawn, a hottie in his own right, a copy of The Gay Agenda and the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven from HOMO HQ.

Welcome out, Shawn.
President _____ went to Walter Reed National Medical Center last Saturday where he awarded the Purple Heart to Army Sergeant First Class Alvaro Barrientos, saying:
"When I heard about this, I wanted to do it myself. Congratulations … tremendous.”
Congratulations on receiving a medal given to soldiers who were wounded or killed in battle.

I ‘m thinking most soldiers do go into battle hoping to be given a Purple Heart but then Draft Dodging Donald wouldn’t know that.
Erin Moran, Joanie from Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi, died this week and while most of her former castmates remembered her fondly, _____ supporter and all-around fuckmonkey, Scott Baio, said this about Moran:
“For me, you do drugs or drink, you’re gonna die. And I’m sorry if that’s cold, but… God gave you a brain, gave you the will to live and thrive, and you gotta take care of yourself.”
Erin Moran died of stage 4 cancer and Scott Baio is a heartless dick.
I was born in Biloxi, Mississippi, but remember nothing about it because we moved to California when I was six months old and I have never been back.

That may change because, this week, Biloxi has made the decision to remove the Mississippi state flag from all city buildings because it bears the Confederate battle as part of its design.

That symbol of hate will no longer fly in Biloxi; good on them.
Embattled homophobic Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore lost his effort to regain his job this week when the Alabama Supreme Court upheld his suspension for urging defiance of that federal ruling regarding same-sex marriage.

Moore, unhinged as ever, lashed out at the ruling, saying he considers his suspension to be both illegal and a "clear disregard of the will of the people who elected me chief justice."

Except that, as a judge, you fuckmonkey, you failed to follow the law.

Moore is said to be considering a run for the Alabama Senate.

Seriously, Alabama? You look bad enough already; don’t make it worse by electing this idiot to any other public office.
So, there’s a new film being shopped around that would chronicle Madonna’s early years—when she was relevant—as a recording artist in New York in the 1980s; Elyse Hollander’s script for Blond Ambition topped the 2016 “Black List,” an annual ranking of the best unproduced screenplays in Hollywood. Michael De Luca, who produced Fifty Shades of Grey, is set to produce but there are no details on who will play Madge.

There are all kinds of details about how Madge feels about the idea though ... she is not happy and took her mood to Instagram:
“Nobody knows what I know and what I have seen. Only I can tell my story. Anyone else who tries is a charlatan and a fool ... Looking for instant gratification without doing the work. This is a disease in our society.”
Funny she says that now, but failed to ever say it about any other film biography.

How long until she describes the film as a kind of rape or an anti-women idea?

Sit down Madge.
Lord, the things people make, the things people buy, and the prices they pay for them.

Apparently Fergie created a pair of holey jeans with a fake piss stain on the crotch and was charging $2,300 a pair for them. Seriously; the “I Pissed Myself” jeans?

But now, another loony entrepreneur, PRPS, is selling a pair of $425 jeans for people who want to look like they’ve been working in the farm all day but don’t want to actually work in the farm all day.

Yes, the jeans are designed to look as though you’ve been working in the mud all day. On the Nordstrom website they’re described like this:
“Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you’re not afraid to get down and dirty.”
Come on down to Smallville; I’m headed to Goodwill to stock up on old jeans that I’m going throw in a mud puddle out back and sell for $300 a pair.

Or, a better idea, I’ll just head to the local high school and shove kids in the dirt and mud and charge them a hundred bucks for my Fashion Advice.

Until I get arrested ...

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Architecture Wednesday: Konieczny’s Ark

I don't know much about this one, except it's not on Mt. Ararat, and it doesn't have all the animals two by two.

But I love the simplicity of shape and design; and I love the avantgarde shpae and design, too.

It's an ark, of concrete, so I don't know how it'll float if the Great flood returns, but it's pretty sitting on the side of a hill.


Dow Gives _____ $1 Million To Destroy Kid's Brains With Nerve Gas Derivative

Dow Chemical makes chlorpyrifos, diazinon, and malathion—a bunch of pesticides that bring lots of coins into the pockets of the company; in fact, Dow sells roughly 5 million pounds of chlorpyrifos alone.

But there’s a wee problem, or wee problems, for Dow. You see, chlorpyrifos and those others were originally derived from a nerve gas developed by the Nazis, and scientists have found that chlorpyrifos, diazinon, and malathion are harmful to almost 1,800 “critically threatened or endangered species.”

Naturally, the Environmental Protection Agency [EPA] and most rational folks are against the killing of these species just so Dow can line its coffers, which is why the EPA and two other groups that it works with to enforce the Endangered Species Act are “close to issuing findings expected to result in new limits on how and where the highly toxic pesticides can be used.”

Good, eh? Not so much for Dow which is where greed and corruption and that Rich White Men’s Club, and its President _____ come into play.

The good news for Dow is that the EPA is now run by climate-change skeptic and basic asshat Scott Pruitt, who has vowed to reverse “an Obama-era effort to bar the use of Dow's chlorpyrifos pesticide on food after recent peer-reviewed studies found that even tiny levels of exposure could hinder the development of children's brains.”

Kids brains? Corporate profits? It’s a no-brainer, eh? Pun intended.

And it doesn’t hurt Dow that its CEO, Andrew Liveris, right, is chummy with _____. In fact, Dow spent nearly $14 million last year lobbying the government to allow the use of pesticides that harm, not only fish and game, but children.

Dow and two other companies that manufacture these pesticides have sent letters to the EPA, the Department of Commerce, and the Fish and Wildlife Service, asking them to “set aside” the results of the studies, claiming that they are “fundamentally flawed” as was proven by a study paid for by Dow, and performed by Dow scientists, that says these pesticides, derived, again, from nerve gases, are fine ... just fine.

But Dow also has an ace in the hole in this fight because Liveris is a close adviser, close friend, and million dollar donor to _____ and his inauguration committee; so much so, that when _____ signed an executive order “mandating the creation of task forces at federal agencies to roll back government regulations” Liveris was literally right by _____’s side.

So, let’s see ... the CEO is buddies with _____; the CEO gave _____ a million dollars; _____ appoints a climate change denying, environmental buffoon to destroy the EPA and benefit Dow.

Done and done.

Nothing to see here, except rich white men get richer while children made suffer brain disease and the environment crashes and burns.

But then cockroaches like Liveris and _____ will survive all that.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

My Two Cents: Neil Gorsuch, Arkansas, The Death Penalty and Ledell Lee

I am against the Death Penalty in every single instance; sue me.

I used to attend protests at San Quentin whenever there was a murder scheduled. I have my reasons, and I have my arguments, but let me spell them out plainly:
If murder is illegal, than state-sanctioned murder should be illegal.
From a monetary standpoint, it’s actually cheaper—costing taxpayers, you and me less money—to sentence a murderer to life without parole, than to sentence someone to death, which give them years of appeals that are costly to the state.
What if we put someone to death but then find out later they were innocent? We murdered an innocent person; I don’t want that blood on my hands, do you?
If you argue that, what if someone murdered someone I love, wouldn’t I want that person dead? No; I mean, unless it could bring my dead loved one back, but it wouldn’t and so I won’t sink to the level of advocating death.
That’s me; sue me. But this isn’t about me; last Thursday night Arkansas executed Ledell Lee—the state’s first execution in 12 years.

Lee was one of eight men Arkansas had planned to kill—like some kind of celebration of executions—over 11 days before one of the drugs used in the 3-drug lethal injection cocktail expired.

Oh, so it was cost effective to have a Lethal Injection Spree!

Four of the men received stays of execution, but Ledell Lee’s final plea to the Supreme Court was rejected by a 5–4 vote with _____’s appointee, Justice Neil Gorsuch casting the deciding vote to put Ledell Lee to death.

Lee had insisted upon his innocence from the day of his arrest through the night of his execution, and, before you say it, I know most murderers do. But Ledell Lee also begged the state to let him take a simple DNA test and compare it to results collected at the scene of the murder he allegedly committed; Arkansas refused.

Seriously? A chance for definitive proof that you are right about the man you are sentencing to death and you’re like, “Nah, why bother”?

Ledell Lee also presented evidence that the judge in his case was not impartial because the judge was having an affair with the assistant prosecutor at the time, but Arkansas, and Neil Gorsuch, didn’t care.

Lee claimed his trial attorney provided ineffective assistance of counsel because the man actually appeared in court drunk and slurring his words, but, hey, why stop the trial for that; why start over and make sure Lee had every option available to him?

When Lee’s requests for a new trial, requests for a DNA test, were denied, he then claimed that Arkansas’ use of the drug midazolam to render him unconscious before stopping his heart was cruel and unusual—in violation of the Eighth Amendment—because the drug might not actually induce unconsciousness and, in fact, because it hadn’t, had already caused other executions to go awry.

But, again, the Supreme Court split 4-4 and Gorsuch opted for death in his first decision. He ordered a man murdered who may have been innocent; he ordered a man murdered after a trial where the judge had a severe conflict; he ordered a man murdered who’d been represented by a drunk.

But, you know, Arkansas wanted to save some coins and use their lethal injection drugs before they were deemed ineffective, so let’s have a Lethal Injection Party supported by the Supreme Court ... who voted the way they did because of _____ appointee Neil Gorsuch.

First vote; first blood.

Ledell Lee was declared dead shortly before midnight last Thursday and there’s a chance, slim or otherwise, that he might have been innocent; and there’s a chance, slim or otherwise, that he unduly suffered because the drug administered to render him unconscious didn’t work.

It was a great day in America.

And it makes me sick.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Georgia Is Trying To Tamper With Elections To Thwart Jon Ossoff

You know, last week when Democrat Jon Ossoff won that special election in Georgia’s 6th Congressional district, resulting in a run-off between Ossoff and Republican Karen Handel, the White House, and the GOP, tried to play it off like it was no big deal. They tried to play it off that the 6th district would stay Republican as it had for decades and there was nothing to worry about.

Really? Then please to explain why the state of Georgia is facing a lawsuit over its efforts to block newly registered voters from voting in that upcoming run-off?

The GOP-controlled state is saying that the old rule—where you had to be registered 30 days ahead of an election to vote—is wrong, and that the new rule should be that you have to have been registered 30 days ahead of the pre-run-off election to vote in the run-off.
See what they’re trying to do? There is an increase in support for Jon Ossoff and so Georgia is trying to shift the rules so that those new voters—most likely to vote blue—cannot vote.

In America.

On Thursday, the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law filed a complaint in the federal district court, arguing that Georgia is violating the National Voter Registration Act which sets 30 days before a federal election as the earliest permissible deadline for voter registration.

Ezra Rosenberg, co-director of the voting rights project at the Lawyers’ Committee, says Georgia cannot change the registration deadline for the June 20 runoff; he says Georgia’s position is like saying that to vote in a general election you have to have been registered in time for the primary, meaning that only people registered before March 20 can vote in a June 20 run-off.

But, if the registration deadline is 30 days before the run-off, Democrats and the Ossoff campaign can keep registering new voters until May 22.

It isn’t rocket science; it’s clear the Republicans in Georgia are trying to control an election and its outcome.

Who do they think they are, Russia?

ISBL Asshat of the Week: Republican Warren Davidson.

Another day, another GOP town Hall where a Republican ... because, of course ... proves just how out of touch they are with their constituents.

At this Town Hall in Ohio, a woman told Republican Congressman Warren Davidson that her grown son lacked health insurance for four years, because his job in the service industry did not provide it. But he then received coverage through Medicaid when Obamacare expanded the program by offering to pick up almost all of the costs for states that lowered their eligibility thresholds. The woman explained that she is worried about _____’s plan to rollback the Medicaid expansion because it will leave her son with basically no insurance at all:
“Can you explain why my son and millions of others in his situation are not deserving of affordable, decent health care that has essential benefits so that he can stay healthy and continue working?”
Davidson told her that if her son wants decent insurance when, or if, Obamacare gets replaced, then he should get a better job.

Yes. He did.
“OK, I don’t know anything about your son, but as you described him, his skills are focused in an industry that doesn’t have the kind of options that you want him to have for health care. So, I don’t believe that these taxpayers here are entitled to give that to him. I believe he’s got the opportunity to go earn those health benefits.”
Naturally, the crowd, that understands that it’s not so easy to go out and get a better job, booed. And then, because he’s living off the dime of his constituents, who pay his salary and voted him into a job where he gets free healthcare, added:
“If he doesn’t want a catastrophic care plan, don’t buy a catastrophic care plan. If you don’t want a flip-phone, don’t buy a flip-phone.”
Davidson’s comment echoed those of Republican ... because, of course ... Jason Chaffetz who suggested in March that people should not buy iPhones if they wanted the money to pay for health insurance.

But this mother, and others at the Town Hall, reminded Davidson, who is clearly clueless because his bills are taken care of, that buying health insurance is completely different than buying a phone.

Although _____ and the GOP have already failed ... twice ... to negotiate an Obamacare replacement bill, they are dead-set on trying again as part of negotiations to continue funding the government.

Their latest ploy, offered up by budget director, Mick Mulvaney, direct from Smallville, I’m sorry to say, involves involve trading Democrats a dollar in Obamacare funding for every dollar they approve for construction of the wall.

Yeah, the wall that _____ promised Mexico would pay to have built.

Asshats, both, _____, Mulvaney, but for today the honor of ISBL Asshat of the Week goes to the out-of-touch, hopefully one day out-of-office, Warren Davidson. 

Saturday, April 22, 2017

It's Snarkurday!

Oh Paltrow ... really? Rumor has it that Gwyneth Paltrow is trying to make GOOP appeal to, um, well, those of us who can’t afford a $2,000 t-shirt; those of us who live in what Paltrow once politely termed “flyover” states—as in states you’d never visit unless there was an emergency landing; those of us she considers “peasants.”

And so, if you aren’t into letting Stanley Steamer clean your hoo-haw, and you aren’t into Barefoot In The Dirt therapy, er, um, Earthing, she is now trying to make fast-food the In Thing.

If you go to Dairy Queen GOOP recommends the “50-calorie fudge bar” and not much else. Chipotle? GOOP says have a bowl, with some brown rice, or “if you’re hungry. Load up on the veggies, skip the dairy, add black beans, and you’re good to go.”

At Wendy’s you can eat “Power Mediterranean Chicken Salad” with no hummus, or, if having a burger—and the Shamers will come for you—at least switch the fries out for a baked potato ... with no sour cream EVER!!!! And try the veggie-heavy sandwich at Subway ... but don’t eat the bread! Throw it away!

Look, here’s the deal, Gwyneth Paltrow is a spoiled self-entitled rich bitch who thinks she knows what’s best for everyone ... at least everyone with a substantial bank account. She did not go to any one of these places and try the food; she no doubt had testers that were ordered to try the food but don’t swallow ... if you want to keep you job.

Paltrow and Fast Food is like _____ and the Truth; they have never met.
That Woman is on a rampage to restore her crap-fest “reality” show to its former glory now that the ratings are in freefall. But what can she do? Kim cannot get robbed again? Kanye cannot get any crazier? Should the drunken ex-husband come back into the fold? Should one of the younger ones get pregnant? What does a FameWhoring Mother do when her children don’t make sex tapes she can sell?

She turns to her newest trainwreck, Rob and Blac Chyna, and tries to get them back together if only for the sake of the show; let ‘em crash and burn for ratings like a normal family.

And, in order to do that, That Woman is hurling some coins at Blac Chyna ... and since Chyna is used to having coins tossed her way, or dollar bills slipped into her g-string, she’s on-board.

See, now that the KUWTK ratings are down, That Woman needs ... neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds ... Rob and Chyna’s show, Rob & Chyna, to be the hit she so desperately craves because, you know, she doesn’t have a job other than whoring out her kids; so she offered to cut Chyna a child support check.

Oh, not to support the child she had with Rob; no, silly, these coins are for the child Chyna had with Rob’s sister’s ex-boyfriend, Tyga, who, for some reason, cannot afford child support. And That Woman will cut the checks only as long as Chyna stays with Rob and works on their show.

Gosh, with Mother’s Day coming up, I now know who should get top honors ...
Janet Jackson has always been secretive about her life; she even got married, and divorced, twice, with nary a word about it. Then, earlier this year, she announced she was with child, had the baby at fifty and then divorced her billionaire husband, Wissam Al Mana.

There were some who thought Janet waited to have that baby knowing that her coins from the prenup would double if she had a child, but that might not be true ... except it is. And so now Wissam is coming out to dish about the Missus.

Wissam went to his website, because that’s what one does, to give some snark about Janet in the form a few cryptic passages from the Quran:
“You shall most certainly be tried in your possessions and in your persons; and indeed you shall hear many hurtful things from those to whom revelation was granted before your time, as well as from those who have come to ascribe divinity to other beings beside Allah. But if you remain patient in adversity and conscious of Him—this, behold, is something to set one’s heart upon.”
Sounds like Wissam is coming for Janet.

Where is my bucket of popcorn?
Apparently being the daughter of a multimillionaire media tycoon isn’t enough to save you from financial dire straits.

Tori Spelling.

It appears that the IRS—tired of waiting for a check—has emptied the bank accounts of Spelling and her adulterer husband Dean Something-Or-Other.

Last July, it was reported that the couple—who had their fifth child in March—were slammed with a federal tax lien for $707,487.30 in unpaid federal taxes for 2014. And then Something-Or-Other’s—quick Google search reveals the deadbeats last name is McDermott—ex-wife, Mary Jo Eustace, threatened him with jail over unpaid child support and Dean sobbed to the court that he and the Missus have, ahem, “fallen on hard times.”

And that might be true, because in November 2016, the couple was sued by American Express over an unpaid credit-card balance of $87,595.55; AMEX sued them earlier in year over a $37,981.97 bill.

So what do Tori and Dean do? Well, their tried to turn their lives, and this fifth child, the Band-Aid baby they created in the hopes of salvaging their marriage and their bank accounts, into a reality show but, yeah, no one is buying.

Perhaps when she goes to jail she can turn that into a show? Tori and Dean In The Big House While Their Children Live With Nana?
Mel B’s huge bust-up with ex-husband Stephen Belafonte was ALLEGEDLY sparked by his accusation that she had slept with ... get ready to huuuuurl ...Simon Cowell.

And that’s what started the fight that ended their marriage because, after Belafonte made those allegations, as Mel prepared for the talent show’s final in December 2014, she ended up missing the first night of the two-parter due to an ALLEGED drug overdose. But she was back the next night—with bruises on her face and arms—and hiding the fact that she had been accused of having an affair with Cowell.

But it wasn’t just Cowell, Belafonte was jealous of, it was also fellow judge Cheryl Cole; Belafonte ALLEGEDLY lost his temper backstage after Mel playfully grabbed Cheryl’s rear-end and walked into her dressing room wearing next to nothing. Mel subsequently filed for divorce from Belafonte and won a restraining order against him.

I’ve a feeling it’s only going to get uglier, but can it get uglier than someone thinking you’re cheating with Simon Man-Boobs Cowell?
Poor Tommy Mottola; he was married for a short time to  über diva Mariah Carey, and he probably thought that was insane. But his current wife, Mexican superstar Thalia, is ALLEGEDLY giving Carey a run for the title.

Thalia is being sued over a 20-year deal with EDF Brands to license products in her native country after the company accused her of skipping promotional duties and charged them $120,000 for travel, which is way beyond the bounds of their contract.

For a two-day trip for a product launch, Thalia ALLEGEDLY demanded a private plane from New York to Mexico City for $65,000, hotel rooms for $15,000, security for $25,000, hair and makeup for $6,000 and a stylist for $10,000.

However, unlike Carey, she didn’t ask for money to have someone carry her through the hotel lobby like a giant stripper rag-doll, so, yeah, there’s that.
On Tuesday we learned that basketball player, and, well, player, Carmelo and La La Anthony’s marriage of seven years is over because, ALLEGEDLY, Carmelo got a stripper pregnant and, funny thing, a lot of wives don’t like that.

And so, even though the couple signed a prenup, get ready for Cash Battles when the pair files for divorce. He has a $124 million contract with the Knicks and has earned more than $200 million during his career; he also has contracts with Nike Jordan and Foot Locker.

Now, that’s some bank, right there and even though the couple has a prenup, rumor has it that, like most premarital contracts, there’s a cheating clause and so this pregnant stripper business could mean a big pay out for La La if she decides to challenge the prenup.

I see a lot of extra zeros on the check Carmelo will be writing to La La.

Just sayin’.
Recently, at the premiere of Clive Davis’ documentary, “The Soundtrack of Our Lives,” legends like Aretha Franklin, Dionne Warwick and Barry Manilow took the stage to perform, but it was Carly Simon who was the standout ... though not in the way one might think.

It seems Carly performed a cringe-worthy  rendition of “Coming Around Again,” in a mash-up with ... wait for it ... it’s crazy ... “Itsy Bitsy Spider,” while flanked by a group of small children doing the nursery rhyme hand gestures.

One attendee wailed:
“Why is this happening?”
Someone else cried:
“This sounded a lot better when we were high in the ’70s.”
But apparently Simon has performed the song mash-up for years and no one has told her to stop ... so I will: Stop.
You know, when you’re Lea Michele and you were once the It Girl on a hit show like Glee and then followed it up with the role of Not It girl on not hit show Scream Queens, you need to get some attention. And what better way to do that than to announce to the world which famous women you’d hook-up with:
“I was just talking to Brad Goreski, who I love the most, and I was like, ‘Brad, if you were gonna be with a girl, who would you be with?’ He said Scarlett Johansson, and I stopped for a minute and was like, ‘Oh my God, I think me too. Also, Penélope Cruz, but I’ve been told that she kind of looks like me, so I don’t know what that says about me — that I’m narcissistic?!”
Yes, that’s exactly what it says; it also says you have a giant ego is you think you look anything like Penélope Cruz. But then she goes further and compares herself to ... I can hardly say it ... my head is pounding ... Cher:
 “It’s just gonna be me in bed with gay people and I’m gonna be alone forever like Cher, and that’s totally fine by me. That’s just the story of my f—kin’ life, all right.”
Stop, Lea, sit down. You are not Cher; on your best day you are not Cher on her worst day.

Stop; then go away.