It's Snarkurday!

Apparently Harvey Weinstein isn’t just a sexual predator, he’s also a man who holds a grudge and keeps tabs on his victims.

Ronan Farrow, who broke the scandal, says Weinstein paid a security firm full of ex-Mossad agents to keep tabs on the women Weinstein raped and abused. In fact, these “agents” even went so far as to directly contact Weinstein’s victims, using false identities and making sympathetic cover stories, or posing as film producers or investors, or even journalists.  But was it to keep track of the women and keep them from talking or was it just another way for Weinstein to “get off” on his victims? Imagine how much he loved knowing where these women were and what they were doing all of the time.

In addition, Weinstein ALLEGEDLY kept a master list of more than 100 powerful people that he feared might discover the depths of his depravity and take the stories public. Harvey used this list as part of a strategy to prevent accusers from going public with sexual misconduct claims against him. The list was distributed to a team hired by Weinstein to suppress claims that he had sexually harassed or assaulted numerous women.

Individuals named on the list were to be targeted by investigators who would covertly extract and accumulate information from those who might know of claims or who might come forward with allegations against the film producer. Feedback was then to be relayed to Weinstein and his lawyers.

Among those named were the actress Rose McGowan who accused Weinstein of raping her. Another was Laura Madden who claims Weinstein pestered her for massages at hotels in Dublin and London as far back as McGowan and Madden were among the first to speak out against Weinstein.

More than 50 of the names have been colored red to highlight those who should be prioritized by investigators as individuals Weinstein wanted to target. The names of the actresses McGowan and Madden are colored red.

Also on the list are names of victims who have already come out and told their stories, like Annabella Sciorra and Katherine Kendall, and Lauren O’Connor, who wrote the now-infamous memo for The Weinstein Company, describing Weinstein’s predatory behavior and the potential liability for the company.

Harvey may have thought he was outsmarting his victims, but if he kept tabs, on paper, of all the women he harassed, abused, assaulted or raped, that’s clearly an admission of guilt, eh?

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I guess with all these new allegations of sexual assault-harassment-abuse coming out daily, some folks try to get ahead of the story … eh, Seacrest?

Variety claims that Ryan Seacrest didn’t want to wait for E! to find out if an ALLEGED impending sexual harassment claim against him is valid or not, because he’s already apologizing for it … sort of.

Variety says that there was an “incident” involving Ryan and a stylist who worked at E! News that occurred about ten years ago though there are no details as yet … like, you know, was it a male stylist … but he still released a statement:

“Recently, someone that worked as a wardrobe stylist for me nearly a decade ago at E! News, came forward with a complaint suggesting I behaved inappropriately toward her. If I made her feel anything but respected, I am truly sorry. I dispute these reckless allegations and I plan to cooperate with any corporate inquiries that may result.”

So wait, no stylist has come forward, no one has uttered a sound, and yet Ryan Seacrest released a public statement apologizing for something no one has said he’s done because he wouldn’t do that?

Methinks there might be more to the story …

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Also on the sexual assault front, Jeffrey Tambor, who plays transgender women Maura Pfefferman on Transparent, has now up and quit the program entirely after several women accused him of harassing and assaulting them while working on the show.

Tambor’s ex-assistant, Van Barnes, a transgender woman, took her complaints to Amazon, who produce the show, and that triggered an internal investigation after which Tambor issued a statement saying it was all lies and misunderstandings.

But then transgender actress Trace Lysette came forward, saying that Tambor harassed her and groped her and Tambor issued another statement about lies and misunderstandings, but maybe that was just smoke.

Rumor has it that producers were looking for a way to write Tambor, their lead character, out of the show and apparently that’s what’s happening because Tambor quit:

“Playing Maura Pfefferman on ‘Transparent’ has been one of the greatest privileges and creative experiences of my life. What has become clear over the past weeks, however, is that this is no longer the job I signed up for four years ago. I’ve already made clear my deep regret if any action of mine was ever misinterpreted by anyone as being aggressive, but the idea that I would deliberately harass anyone is simply and utterly untrue. Given the politicized atmosphere that seems to have afflicted our set, I don’t see how I can return to ‘Transparent.’”

Wait, so you regret your actions but you did nothing wrong? You don’t quit a show if you’re being falsely accused of sexual harassment, you quit because you know a sh*t-storm is brewing and you want to get out of the way as fast as you can so none of it lands on you.

Too late; sorry, not sorry you’re gone.

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Tori “The Poorest Rich Girl In The World” Spelling and her Dean “Deadbeat Dad” McDermott do everything together, even appearing in court!

While McDermott is facing a contempt of court charge related to unpaid child support, a judge has demanded that Tori Spelling appear in his court and “bring all information on her assets because she blew off paying a $220,000 judgment she owes.”

These wacky kids; they keep having babies and then trying to skip out on their bills. So the judge wants Spelling in court to give a full accounting of her financial situation and to “also make it clear if Tori blows off the hearing, she faces an arrest for contempt of court.”

I see a new reality show: Tori and Dean in the Big House: Contempt of Court.

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Katy Perry desperately wants to live in the Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary convent in Los Angeles and has been working hard to buy it from the nuns who own it, but the nuns don’t want their sacred spot soiled by the likes of a pop tart and so they’ve been fighting the sale for years.

Sisters, actual sisters not Catholic nun sisters, Rita Callanan and Catherine Rose Holzman sold their convent to a restaurateur Dana Hollister but they never cleared the sale with the LA Archbishop Jose H. Gomez so a judge voided the sale and ruled that Katy could buy the convent.

In addition the evil judge ruled that Dana Hollister should pay Katy $1.57 million for all the “exorbitant” legal costs and lawyer fees Katy has racked up while trying to buy the convent. The jury also decided Dana owes the Archdiocese $3.47 million for the same reason.

I don’t really think Katy Perry needs the money, but that three million for the Archdiocese will help defray some of the Church’s legal fees in all their child rape cases.

So, Katy gets a convent, and the Church gets to ease their financial burdens. Win? Win?

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Get ready for the profusion of stories about the best way to plan a wedding, dress for a wedding, the food to serve at a wedding, and the best guests to invite to a wedding because …

Gwyneth Paltrow is getting consciously coupled again.

But let’s take a moment, before she begs to revel in her happiness—which she’ll tell us is the best happiness anyone anywhere anytime ever has ever felt—to remember that Gwyneth and her husband-to-be, Brad Falchuk ... looking so happy up there ... clearly … okay, ALLEGEDLY … had an affair that blew up both of their marriages. But with Gwyneth’s spin, and the fact that Brad Falchuk’s wife wasn’t well-known, it all played out like that’s how love works … you get a job, on Glee in this case, bang the boss, and you each leave your spouses and profess your love for one another.

That’s the Paltrow way.

At any rate, the cheaters are getting married … gird your loins.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Tim Gunn, on Kanye West, "fashion" designer:

“I’m totally perplexed about why the fashion industry has not looked at these, frankly, dumb, basic clothes and cried ‘hoax.’ Kanye West is a sphinx without a riddle. I just don’t understand why people are so in awe. [The models in the show were] basically wearing stretch undergarments. I think the only thing dumber than these clothes would be the people who would buy these clothes.”

Dumb clothes by a dumb, albeit very full of himself designer, bought by dumb people.

Yeah, I don’t see that ad running, though I can see Kanye going anti-Gunn in a rap somewhere, but Kanye, you fool,  don’t come for Tim Gunn unless he sends for you.

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Lord Ivar Mountbatten, Queen Elisabeth’s cousin, coming out as gay:

"Being a Mountbatten was never the problem,’ he says, ‘it was the generation into which I was born. When I was growing up, it was known as “the love that dare not speak its name”, but what’s amazing now is how far we have all come in terms of acceptance. 'Coming out” is such a funny phrase but it’s what I suppose I did in a rather roundabout way, emerging to a place I’m happy to be. I have struggled with my sexuality and in some ways I still do; it has been a real journey to reach this point."

Ivar is the first member of the Royal Family to come out, though, you know, there are a lot of royal gays.

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Robert Gates, former Defense Secretary, on The Rump:

“He has no clue about the difference between negotiating a business deal and negotiating with sovereign nations. A thin-skinned, temperamental, shoot-from-the-hip and lip, uninformed commander-in-chief is too great a risk for America.”

Don’t forget orange! Thin orange skin!

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Jeffrey Tambor, accepting an Emmy for playing a trans woman on Transparent:

“To you people out there, you producers and you network owners and you agents and you creative sparks, please give transgender talent a chance. Give them auditions. Give them their story. Do that. And, also, one more thing, I would not be unhappy were I the last cisgender male to play a female transgender [woman] on television. We have work to do.” 

I do think that any actor worth his salt should be able to play any role, but let’s make room for trans actors getting work, as transgender or cisgender; just let them work.

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Richard Sherman, Seattle Seahawks cornerback, at a team press conference after the police shootings in Tulsa and Charlotte:

“So, today, obviously we’re playing San Fran and they’re a great opponent. They’ve got some weapons: Torrey Smith, Carlos Hyde. They’re running Chip Kelly’s offense. … But I’m not going to answer any questions today, and it’s no offense to you guys. But I think the state of things in the world today is very interesting. I think you have players that are trying to take a stand and trying to be aware of social issue and try to make a stand an increase people’s awareness and put a spotlight on it and they’re being ignored. Whether they’re taking a knee or whether they’re locking arms, they’re trying to bring people together and unite them for a cause. I think the last couple days, a couple more guys have gotten shot and killed in the middle of the street. And more videos have come out of guys getting killed, and I think people are still missing the point. The reason these guys are kneeling, the reason we’re locking arms is to bring people together — to make people aware that this is not right. It’s not right for people to get killed in the street. I do a lot of community service. I go out there and try to help kids and try to encourage them to be better and to aspire to more. And when you tell a kid, ‘When you’re dealing with police, just put your hands up and comply with everything.’ And there’s still a chance of them getting shot and no repercussions for anyone, that’s an unfortunate time to be living. It’s an unfortunate place to be in. There’s not a lot you can tell a kid. There’s not a lot you can try to inspire a person when you say, ‘We need black fathers to be in the community to stay there for your kids,’ but they’re getting killed in the street for nothing, for putting their hands on their cars. And I think that’s the unfortunate part, that’s the unfortunate place that we’re living in. And something needs to be done. And so when a guy takes a knee, you can ignore it. You can say, ‘He’s not being patriotic, he’s not honoring the flag.’ I’m doing none of those things. I’m saying — straight up — this is wrong, and we need to do something. So thank you guys, have a blessed day.”

There was a meme on Facebook that summed it up:

You get angry when a black man takes a knee, but do nothing when a black man takes a bullet.

Something does need to be done.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Jeffrey Tambor, who plays transgender Maura Pfeffermen, on an airport encounter with a stranger:

“I thought he was going to lay me out. But he said, ‘Thank you. Thank you for teaching me about something I did not know.’ The world is changing. They’re not going to stand for this hatred. They’re not going to stand for this nonsense and this misgendering and all of this crap. It’s a brand new world.”

The more people talk, the better educated people become; the better educated people become, the less ‘phobic’ they are.

It’s a good thing.

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Garrison Keillor, on The [t]Rump:

“The cap does not look good on you, it's a duffer's cap, and when you come to the microphone, you look like the warm-up guy, the guy who announces the license number of the car left in the parking lot, doors locked, lights on, motor running. The brim shadows your face, which gives a sinister look, as if you'd come to town to announce the closing of the pulp factory. Your eyes look dead and your scowl does not suggest American greatness so much as American indigestion. Your hair is the wrong color: People don't want a president to be that shade of blond. You know that now. … Meanwhile, you keep plugging away. It's the hardest work you've ever done. You walk out in the white cap and you rant for an hour about stuff that means nothing and the fans scream and wave their signs and you wish you could level with them for once and say one true thing: I love you to death and when this is over I will have nothing that I want.”

One can dream that when this ends he will have nothing he wants; and one can dream that he’ll do the one thing he said he’d do if he lost and go away.

But he’s a pathological liar, so he’ll hang around and bitch and moan and whine … cuz that’s all he does.

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Megan Rapinoe, United States women’s national soccer team star, on joining other professional athletes and refusing to stand during the national anthem:

“It was very intentional. It was a little nod to Kaepernick and everything that he’s standing for right now. I think it’s actually pretty disgusting the way he was treated and the way that a lot of the media has covered it and made it about something that it absolutely isn’t. We need to have a more thoughtful, two-sided conversation about racial issues in this country. Being a gay American, I know what it means to look at the flag and not have it protect all of your liberties. It was something small that I could do and something that I plan to keep doing in the future and hopefully spark some meaningful conversation around it. It’s important to have white people stand in support of people of color on this. We don’t need to be the leading voice, of course, but standing in support of them is something that’s really powerful.”

The other day I heard Whoopi Goldberg talking about this, and she told a story of black soldiers fighting for America in World War II and then coming home to find that they couldn’t eat at the counter, drink out of the fountain, sit anywhere they wanted to in a bus or a movie theater.

The flag, the anthem, this country, need to represent all of us; all of us.

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Jewel, at a Rob Lowe Roast, on ‘why gay men love Ann Coulter:

“Two minutes into hearing her speak, they remember why they hate pussy.”

And one minute after looking at her reminds me that, somewhere, a horse needs to be fed.

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Shia LaBeouf, on  Steven Spielberg, who directed him in that awful Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: 

“I grew up with this idea, if you got to Spielberg, that’s where it is. I’m not talking about fame, and I’m not talking about money. You get there, and you realize you’re not meeting the Spielberg you dream of. You’re meeting a different Spielberg, who is in a different stage in his career. He’s less a director than he is a fucking company….I don’t like the movies that I made with Spielberg. The only movie that I liked that we made together was Transformers."

And so I imagine he won’t be making any more movies with Spielberg though the decision won’t by Shia’s … it’ll be Spielberg’s.

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