It's Snarkurday!

Blac Chyna first came for Rob and his Sock Money and now she’s set her sights on all the Kardastrophes.

Chyna—real name Angela White—filed a new lawsuit this week against her ex-fiancé Rob Kardashian—as well as his mother, That Woman, and his sisters Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall and Kylie—over claims of assault, battery, domestic violence, defamation and interference with prospective economic relations ... meaning they tried to stop her from making her coins. Chyna’s suit claims:

“Rob Kardashian is an abuser intent on destroying Angela White, the mother of his baby, who left him in 2016. In revenge, the Kardashian-Jenner family became media predators, slut-shaming her on social media and killing her hit television show [“Rob & Chyna”], which had already begun filming a second season.”

Um, hold up Chyna, so you mean to say that even though you and Rob broke up and you sued him for custody and support you still wanted to do your TV show with him? Gurl, bye.

Chyna, who was the victim of Rob’s revenge porn this summer, says she created a new social media account to quell any damage:

“‘He stressed me out my ENTIRE PREGNANCY!!! Accusing me of cheating, going crazy on me with massive text blast daily! being an absolute lunatic & then covering it up with gifts! I was verbally abused every other day.'”

And yet you wanna film a show with him? Gurl, please.

Chyna is ALLEGING Rob physically abused her, “violently knocking” her to the ground during one past instance when she tried to call her other child’s father, Tyga.

And you’d like to continue working with this man? Gurl. Gurrrrrrrl.

In addition to the battery and harassment claims, Chyna says the Kardastrophes “intentionally interfered” with the show “Rob & Chyna” so E! wouldn’t bring it back for a second season, which “harmed” Chyna “personally, professionally and financially.”

See, it’s about the coins, always and only. She really is a Kardastrophe, if only by giving birth to one of their spawn.

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Megyn Kelly, former Fox Blond, is finding out that she’s not really all that and a bag of chips. I know she figured she could parlay being _____’s Twitter Punching Bag into a solid career at a real news outlet, but it just isn’t happening for her.

It seems Kelly isn’t the Popular Girl she thought she was and, as people and critics have discovered, her new show, as part of Today’s four-hour morning stint, kinda sucks. And it’s about to get, well, suckier, as more and more celebrities are refusing to appear on TV with Kelly.

According to Variety, one high-powered publicist said she would be thrilled to book her clients on any part of The Today Show, except Megyn Kelly’s part:

“I’m not booking anyone on her show. I literally haven’t pitched anyone even from right out the gate. The buzz that is out there is so bad.”

To be fair, Megyn shouldn’t have expected to get big name guests in the first place because her show was always a bit of a gamble; it was shilled out to big publicity firms as a “lighter, more inspirational” Megyn Kelly. And most people were all:

“What? Huh? Who?”

And, as a result, only a few celebrities agreed to appear, at the beginning, and now that number is dwindling.

Debra Messing had appeared with the cast of the rebooted Will & Grace but found the experience so distasteful she won’t return; that was the show where Kelly asked a gay man if W&G “made” him gay. And Jane Fonda went on to discuss a new film while Kelly tried to corner her about her plastic surgery; I saw the look Fonda gave Kelly at the line of questioning and I’m surprised she didn’t turn into a ball of flames on the spot.

NBC, for their part, are assuring people, the public and advertisers, that they have no problem booking she show; they pint to the fact that Miles Teller is coming on as an example.

I know, who? I see a long future as a Midwestern weathergirl in Kelly’s future.

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As we know Kathy Griffin won’t be invited to the White House by this president—or probably any president—and she won’t be giving Andy Cooper the Giggle Fits on CNN this New Years Eve, and has apparently lost other gigs too as a result of her idiotically stupid decision to post a photo of herself holding the severed head of Donald _____.

And she’s still whining about the jobs she’s lost because of that choice she made ... taking to Facebook to show how The Hollywood Reporter [THR] took back their invite for her to speak at its annual Women in Entertainment Power 100 event this year. Kathy posted the email THR sent asking her to deliver the opening remarks at the breakfast:

“I’ve attended this event numerous times, including last year when they honored Megyn Kelly (and yeah…I playfully flipped her the bird when she continued to praise _____). I was honored to FINALLY have my chance to take the mic at an event I admired and to address my peers directly. Unfortunately, they rescinded my offer and I am no longer invited to speak. I do not buy their official reasoning and I believe ‘the word has been put out’ on me. I can’t help but take this as another occasion where Hollywood is blacklisting a woman and silencing her.”

Well, THR has the right to invite, and disinvite, whomever they choose, for whatever reason they choose, but let’s be clear: the invitation to Griffin was rescinded four days after Kathy entered an AIDS fundraiser in L.A. wearing a _____ mask and flipping off the audience.

Hey Kathy, why don’t you grow up and stop this nonsense. You took the photo, thought it was funny until the backlash, then you apologized, and yet now you’re trying to ride that for more free press?

Get a job somewhere else, and stop playing the victim. That is so D-List.

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So ... Kevin Can Wait star Kevin James is up next to explain why the producers of his comedy show decided to kill off his character’s wife.

When the show ended its first season, it was announced that Kevin’s TV wife Donna—played by Erinn  Hayes—was going to die during reruns, and that season two would find a new leading lady for Kevin: his wife from his first TV show, The King of Queens, Leah Remini, because Leah was better for ratings.

But Kevin James says that’s not true ... he says they killed Donna “to give life to new storylines”:

“It really felt like a thing like this was needed for this show to drive forward. Now, I have to deal with my daughter in a different way, and she’s gonna go to college, or one’s getting married, or the holidays. And it deals with things in a different, weightier way.”

Yeah, I’m calling bull shiz because of a couple of things:

Number One: nothing says comedy like having your wife die, and ...

B: if that was the case then why bring Leah back?

Um, because it’s better for ratings, better for dollars, better for the show. Everybody knows that Kevin.

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I’m sure you know that Dance Moms villain Abby Lee Miller has given up the dance studio for prison, right? I mean she was jailed for tax evasion or fraud or maybe just for being a TV bitch, I don’t know.

But what I do know is that she is less liked in prison than she was while she was free. It seems her fellow inmates have barred the 51-year-old former reality show “star” from performing in their upcoming Fall Festival because they’re “fed up” with her bad attitude!

A source—and it could be Roxie Hart—says:

“Aside from the few friends that she’s paid off with commissary cash, the majority of the women think she is a narcissistic bitch!”

Whoops! Abby’s buying friends with ciggies and tampons? You’d think she would have used those goods to get herself a starring role in the festival.

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She may be gone, but Carrie Fisher still knows how to serve ... In the wake of the Weinstein Scandal comes the story of the time her friend, actress Heather Ross, who says she was once invited to dinner by an “Oscar-winning producer” who he picked her up in his car and then, during the drive, pulled over, climbed on top of her and pinned her down. She was able to push him off and as she escaped he yelled:

“You’ll never make a movie in my town and get the fuck out of my car.”

Heather told Carrie about it and Carrie, who doesn’t take assholery lightly, decided to do something about it ... Heather says:

“About two weeks later, she sent me a message online and she said, ‘I just saw [blank] at Sony Studios. I knew he would probably be there, so I went to his office and personally delivered a Tiffany box wrapped with a white bow.  I asked her what was inside and she said, ‘It was a cow tongue from Jerry’s Famous Deli in Westwood with a note that said, ‘If you ever touch my darling Heather or any other woman again, the next delivery will be something of yours in a much smaller box!’”

God I love Carrie Fisher.

I mean, who else would deliver a tongue in a Tiffany’s box with the BEST.NOTE.EVER?

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I Didn't Say It .... Carrie Fisher Said It

I adored Carrie Fisher; not so much the Star Wars Carrie Fisher, but the writer Carrie Fisher, the humorist Carrie Fisher, the mentally ill Carrie Fisher. I liked the way she could take what life dealt her and have a laugh at it, while still showing us that her issues were serious issues. She did so much for mental health in this country just by talking about it and joking about it.

I read Wishful Drinking and quoted it for days; we saw Wishful Drinking and laughed and laughed;  I recorded it on HBO and am so happy I saved it so I can always have a Carrie moment when I need one ... so here's some Carrie Fisher ...

... on her appearance

"They always do [ask me to lose weight]. They want to hire part of me, not all of me. They want to hire about three-fourths, so I have to get rid of the fourth somehow. The fourth can't be with me."

... on having her body compared to Elton John's

"Blow my big bovine tiny dancer cock."

... on Hollywood expectations

"Even in space there's a double standard for women."

... on aging

"I'm not happy about being older, except what are the options?"

... on her place in history

"I am Princess Leia, no matter what. If I were trying to get a good table, I wouldn't say I wrote Postcards [From the Edge, her best-selling novel]. Or, if I'm trying to get someone to take my check and I don't have ID, I wouldn't say: "Have you seen When Harry Met Sally?" Princess Leia will be on my tombstone."

... on her place in the Twitterverse

"Please stop debating about whether or not I aged well. Unfortunately, it hurts all three of my feelings. My body hasn't aged as well as I have. Blow us."

... on relationships

"Everyone drives somebody crazy. I just have a bigger car."

... on her natural demeanor

"I act like someone in a bomb shelter trying to raise everyone's spirits."

... on her sanity

"I feel I'm very sane about how crazy I am."

... on what kept her sane

"I don't think I was ever suicidal, and that's probably because of drugs."

... on keeping sane

"If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable."

...on suffering mental illness

"The world of manic depression is a world of bad judgment calls." 

...on finding happiness

"Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell."

...on patience 

"Instant gratification takes too long."

... on wisdom

"I basically consider myself street smart, unfortunately that street is Rodeo Drive."

...on the best and worst parts of success

"The best part is money, traveling and the people you meet. The worst part is, again, money, travel and the people you meet."

... on her Hollywood families

"Who's more famous than Debbie [Reynolds] and Eddie [Fisher]? C-3PO and Darth Vader."

...on having famous parents 

"I am truly a product of Hollywood in-breeding. When two celebrities mate, someone like me is the result." 

... on how her father, Eddie Fisher, helped Elizabeth Taylor after her husband's death

"He first dried her eyes with his handkerchief, then he consoled her with flowers, and he ultimately consoled her with his penis. This made marriage to my mother awkward."

... on her father's autobiography

"I'm thinking of having my DNA fumigated."

... on religion

"You know how they say that religion is the opiate of the masses? Well, I took masses of opiates religiously."

... on her aspirations

"I am hoping to get the centerfold in Psychology Today."

...on bottling up feelings

"Resentment is like drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die."

...on death

"No. I fear dying. Anything with pain associated with it, I don't like. I've been there for a couple of people when they were dying; it didn't look like fun. But if I was gonna do it, I'd want someone like me around. And I will be there!"

Rest in Peace, Carrie, you’ve earned it. And thanks so much for the laughs and the tears and the insights.

Random Musings

This picture breaks my heart ... little Carrie Fisher waiting backstage while her mother, Debbie Reynolds, took her curtain call ... how art kinda becomes life, and death.

I am stunned at the loss of Carrie Fisher. I have adored her for years, though not, as many have, from the Star Wars films. I was in awe of her wit and wisdom, her writings, her words; the way she faced down adversity with a quip and a smile; the way she took on mental illness with a vengeance and had us laughing about it.

I will miss her; I will miss the woman, who, during a question-and-answer period at a recent event, was asked what she would do with “the force” if she had it, and replied:

“I’d stop Donald _____.”

And then, just as the hurt over Carrie’s loss we learned about her mother, Debbie Reynolds’ passing. Carrie’s brother, Debbie’s son, Todd, said one of the last things Debbie said was that she wanted to be with Carrie.

Kathy Seldon, Singing In The Rain; Molly Brown in The Unsinkable Molly Brown; Tammy in Tammy and the Bachelor; and so many more ... but I’ll remember her as the feisty, funny, fabulous Bobbi Adler, Grace’s mother, on Will and Grace. Gosh, she had me smiling and then laughing out loud from that show.

So sad that they are both gone, though never forgotten.

RIP Carrie and Debbie.

John Tereska’s family are rabid _____ supporters, so John knew the perfect gifts to hand out on Christmas Day.

He gave them all gift boxes and when the boxes were opened the family discovered that John had donated, in their names, to groups like Planned Parenthood, the Human Rights Commission, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and the Sierra Club.

But he made a special donation in the name of his brother ... a donation, in his brother’s name, to the Democratic National Committee.

Revenge is a dish best served cold ... or as a Christmas present.

Carlos and I have been watching Good Behavior on TNT mostly because it stars Michelle Dockery as a drug-addled, bail-jumping, scam artist and petty thief, Letty Raines. And, yeah, this is the same Michelle Dockery that played the prim and proper, bitch in a kitten heel, Lady Mary on Downton Abbey, so it’s fun.

And it doesn’t hurt that it also stars Juan Diego Botto as Javier, Letty’s love interest. That’s him on the left; he’s been here before but he’s always welcome.

This week, however, the show introduced Todd Williams, on the right, as Sean, Letty’s Baby Daddy, a former meth-head, porn producer who says he’s now a changed man.

I see no reason to change ... he’s hot.

British TV presenter Richard Hammond, who co-hosts the automotive series The Grand Tour with Jeremy Clarkson, is making headlines for remarks he made on the show suggesting that if you eat ice cream, you’re gay, and not really a man.

Yup; the remarks came as Clarkson showed off the interior of a Rolls-Royce and said: “The only problem is that in one of those, you couldn’t enjoy a chocolate Magnum ice-cream.”

Hammond said: “It’s all right, I don’t eat ice-cream. It’s something to do with being straight.”

Clarkson was taken aback that the audience applauded Hammond’s remarks: “Are you saying everyone who likes ice cream is….?”

And so Hammond said: “Ice cream is a bit, you know…but a grown man eating an ice cream, you know, it’s a bit….it’s that way rather than that way.”

“You’re saying all children are homosexual?” responded Clarkson.

Seriously. Ice cream is gay? I’ve heard it all. Oh, and Richard Hammond is a homophobic asshat who, and I'll go low here, looks a little like someone who'd love to lick a Mr. Softee.

So, over the Christmas holiday the Republican National Committee’s seasonal message was released and, in it, they seemed to imply that Donald _____ is ... wait for it ... the Second Coming of Jesus Christ:

“Merry Christmas to all! Over two millennia ago, a new hope was born into the world, a Savior who would offer the promise of salvation to all mankind. Just as the three wise men did on that night, this Christmas heralds a time to celebrate the good news of a new King. We hope Americans celebrating Christmas today will enjoy a day of festivities and a renewed closeness with family and friends.”

This Christmas celebrates the good news of a new King? Yup, the RNC seemingly says _____ is just like Jesus except ....

They didn’t mean that at all, at least according to RNC spokestool Sean Spicer, who Tweeted—cuz that’s all these morons do—that the reference to “a new King” was not a reference to _____:

“Christ is the King. He was born today so we could be saved. Its (sic) sad & disappointing you are politicizing such a holy day.”

Except ... you said “new” King.

Donald _____ is the least Christ-like person on the planet. In fact, he’d be, in my mind and possibly the minds of the majority of this country considering less than 50% of us voted for him, the complete opposite of Christ ... whatever that is the ... the .... the ... oh yeah, the anti-Christ.

Just sayin’.

Remember when Pamela Ramsay Taylor, the director of Clay County Development Corp [CCDC], a West Virginian non-profit, called Michelle Obama “an ape in heels” and was fired from her job? See post HERE.

Well, guess what? On December 23, Pamela Racist Taylor was quietly reinstated once the firestorm over her racism dissipated and what the CCDC called a “month of quiet reflection and re-education.”

The CCDC kept Pamela Racist Taylor’s reinstatement quiet to avoid distraction ... or to keep people from realizing the powers that be at the CCDC might be as asshatted and racist as Pam, but when the Charleston Gazette-Mail learned the news, the story was out and people took to the CCDC Facebook page to protest.

Luckily, at least one person in charge at the CCDC recognized that Pamela Racist Taylor is a racist, was a racist, and will always be a racist, and so when West Virginia reviewed their contracts with the non-profit, it was decided that Pamela Racist Taylor would be fired ... again ... and for good this time.

Bye Felicia.

Well well well ... La Big Gay Scandal?

It seems someone went on Snapchat and kinda declared themselves to be actor Michael B Jordan’s gay lover ...

And that sent Jordan into a tizzy ...

 “I usually don’t comment creep but, you know, sh*t, today I got time. So look, whoever’s angry, bitter, upset for whatever reason, grow the f**k up ‘cause karma’s real. And I usually take the high road. I usually don’t say sh*t, I just let it roll ‘cause people are going to be people. Everybody got they opinion. That’s what the Internet’s for. They going to say whatever….On second thought, why am I even giving energy to that s**t on this day. Y’all my fans. Y’all don’t need to hear me ranting about some BS. So enjoy your family, enjoy your blessings, enjoy the people you hold close and cherish that. I think that’s more important than some comment.”

Um, Michael, as a gay man let me say, first of all, thanks for that top photo cuz, you know, scorching.

But, and this is where I get pissed, when actors are called gay, or implied to be gay, and they get all pissy it does one of two things to me: it makes me think you are gay—and I couldn’t care less, really—and it also pisses me off because when you get angry about the rumor that you might be gay, it perpetuates the myth that being gay is a bad thing.

It’s not; and so I’d think about that next time you wanna get pissy cuz some “anonymous” dude called you gay.

But, if you are ... again, thanks for that top photo.

Hell, thanks for the top photo anyway.

Random Musings

Man oh man, whoever told Bill Cosby how to play it during his perp walk really nailed it.

The confused old man with a cane, being held up by his team after he trips over a curb. How could he have possibly sexually assaulted fifty women?

PS That's fifty Cosby mugshots, one for each of the women he has ALLEGED to have sexually assaulted.

Celine Dion returned to Caesar's Palace Las Vegas this week and first thing she covered was Adele’s “Hello.”

Celine Dion ruins everything.

So, over the holidays we watched a few films we had line dup on the DVR, so the Hot Man Watch was working overtime …

First up is openly bisexual — though he lived most of his life with a man — actor Farley Granger, whom we watched in Hitchcock’s Strangers on a Train. He’s just dreamy.

Then we had Max Irons in The Riot Club, about a group of over-privileged rich kids at Oxford University; he played the kinda good one. Sidenote: his father is actor Jeremy Irons.

Next up is Aml Ameen from The Maze Runner; so hot, died — in the film anyway — too soon.

Next up, continuing clockwise, is Jack O’Connell from Unbroken; it was a very good film, a brilliantly told true story, and Jack is oh so swoonworthy.

Lastly, we have Garrett Hedlund, also from Unbroken, who met up with Jack o’Connell’s character in a prisoner of war camp.

That was some hot camp, is all I can say.

According to No Homophobes.com, the word ‘faggot’ has been tweeted on Twitter over 34 million times since it began tracking in July 2012 … that’s 19 times a minute, y’all.

And finally they’ve done something about it. Twitter will begin banning accounts that tweet abuse or threats that use homophobic or transphobic slurs.

‘Bout effing time.

So, Colton Haynes is cute; adorable; maybe gay. Who cares?

Apparently a lotta folks. The world, or at least most of the gay corners of the world, are buzzing that Haynes came out as gay in a coy post on Tumblr after a fan said this:

“when I found out colton haynes had a secret gay past i got so excited even though i know it makes absolutely no difference in my life.”

Colton Haynes replied:

“Was it a secret? Let’s all just enjoy life & have no regrets :).”

Questions about Haynes’ sexuality have surfaced before, mostly from photos of him kissing another guy in an issue of XY Magazine back in ’06.

Haynes has never publicly addressed the rumors and this isn’t him addressing them now.

Build a bridge people, though, I will say again: he is adorable.

It seems like we have a lot of hot guys in Musings this week, so let’s talk Carrie Fisher and the body shaming she’s been enduring online since the new Star Wars film opened.

People are seemingly stunned that she looks so different from the first time she appeared in a Star Wars film … in 1979! Yes, the poor woman had the audacity to age over the course of the last forty years and no longer look like a bikini-wearing slave girl.

I’d like all y’all that are dogging Carrie to take a look back at how you looked forty years ago, and when you pick your chin up off the floor, shut your yap.

But still ... Carrie knows how to take on her detractors so let’s allow her that honor …

Now, unlike Colton Haynes, this gay story does have me intrigued …

The internet is going wild for a theory that Star Wars will soon feature its first gay romance.

Just before Star Wars: The Force Awakens opened rumors spread that there might be a gay romance between two of the film’s main male characters. And the film does film features a close bond between Resistance pilot Poe Dameron — played by scaldingly hot Oscar Isaac [right] — and stormtrooper Finn — played by also scaldingly hot John Boyega [left].

And, while doing press for the film Oscar Isaac added fuel to the fire by hinting at a gay romance saying:

“I think it’s very subtle romance that’s happening. You know, you have to just look very close — you have to watch it a few times to see the little hints. But there it was.”

Let me just say this: I haven’t seen Star Wars yet but if there’s to be a gay romance featuring Oscar Isaac, I’m’a get in line now.

And, if that romance is with John Boyega, I’m’a be buyin’ tickets for every show.

Just sayin’.