The Funny Papers

Clay Bennett, Pedro X Molina, Lalo Alcaraz, Matt Wuerker, Trevor Irvin, Nick Anderson, Robert Unell, Tim Campbell, John Branch, Daniel Boris, Barry Blitt, Dennis Goris, Mike Luckovich, Michael de Adder, Jesse Duquette,

Bobservations

We’re in a bit of a fire warning stage here in South Carolina because of the heat and while Carlos and I were out running errands on Tuesday we must have seen four or five fire trucks racing down the roads and here’s what gets me …

PEOPLE DON’T GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!!

They speed up and maybe move slightly to the right but they keep driving and it pisses me off so I began a rant to Carlos about people not getting out of the way. As you know, my rants go on and on and on and how I think fire trucks should have cameras and any car that doesn’t get out of the way their license plate should be tagged and they should be fined. When I finished I looked at Carlos for his reaction.

Asleep.

“Are you sleeping???”

“No!”

“What did I say?”

“You were talking about the drivers.”

And so I guess he was awake but then I thought again …

“What about the drivers?”

“That they all drive too slow and brake too much.”

“And the fire trucks?”

“What fire trucks?”

Gotcha!

This Tale of Tuxedo is from January 2011 …

You know, what goes around........

Tuxedo was my feline caregiver when I was sick--with Carlos being my human nurse. He was sitting at my side, or rather, he would sit on me, leading me to think he was one of those Death Cats, waiting for me to, ahem crossover. Now, I know that all he wanted was for his Daddy to get better.

And I am getting better.

So, when Tux needed a little pampering, well, he got it. He curled up in a Afghan my mother made for me, and napped, while I periodically checked on him, and brought him snacks, and sat on him, well, by his side.

Here's to my Round-The-Clock Nurse, Tuxedo.

Ian Charleson [left] told the theater company he was recovering from sinus surgery when he was actually dying of AIDS and had just agreed to play Hamlet at the National Theatre. The part became available after Daniel Day-Lewis walked off the stage mid-run, collapsing during the scene where Hamlet meets his father's ghost; Day-Lewis later claimed he had seen his own ghost. So, Ian  Charleson took over, and outside a few close friends only the director, Richard Eyre, knew what it was costing him to stand up there.

He opened on 13 November 1989 and actor Ian McKellen was in the audience that night and so overwhelmed by Charleson’s Hamlet that gifted Charleson his own Best Actor award. But after that first night Charleson never appeared on a stage again. He died eight weeks later, on January 6, 1990 at age 40.

But this isn’t about his brilliant performance it was about what he did after he died, something nobody in Britain was doing in 1990: he left instructions that his cause of death, AIDS, be made public and his was the first show business death in the country openly attributed to AIDS.

A hero and an icon even in death.

American audiences know Charleson from Chariots of Fire, where he played Eric Liddell, the Scottish runner who wouldn't race on Sundays. And now Andrew Scott [right], an out gay actor and quite a handsome fella, is playing him now in Elsinore, the story of Charleson’s life and death, which opens in London in October and reaches US theaters in November.

I only found out the neighbors were having a party when the cake deliveries began showing up … I’m looking forward to my invitation.

I’m gagged … South Dakota ex-Governor and ex-Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi DogKiller Noem has unveiled a statue of herself.

Seriously. But the best part of all this was the influx of alternate Noem statues with her cross-dressing husband, or her love of plastic surgery, or her audition statue to play Freddy Krueger, or the one of her killing her dog.

The only one I couldn’t find was of Kristi on all fours taking it from behind by her married lover Corey Lewandowski.

Noem is said to be mulling over her future in politics but I think she’s better suited to statuary.

Recently, under orders from DUI Hire Pete Hegseth the Navy ended a 43-year contract with The Sewing Box, a Black-owned family business who made the Blue Angel uniforms. The last five-year contract with The Sewing Box paid out $400,000 to the business but rather sticking with a long-term arrangement Hegseth signed a new contract with another company and is paying them $1.69 million.

Sounds about white for a racist, misogynistic, transphobic drunken former Fox News talking head.

Taylor Fresh Foods (Taylor Farms) has issued a recall on 20 ready-to-eat products containing jalapeños due to potential Salmonella contamination. The recall follows a prior July voluntary recall of iceberg lettuce over Cyclospora concerns.

Boycott Taylor Farms until they can prove their products are safe.

It's not so much that Cankles snuck away in a catering container because of some threat that Iran was going to shoot the plane down; it's that he left the entire Air Force One crew and the innocent Press Pool behind as decoys while he crawled into a food truck.

He doesn't have a single moral fiber in his body though he does have an ass the size of a VW that had to be lubed with Hellman's Mayo to squeeze it into that food cart! 

Antonio Ortega is an international fashion model represented by top-tier agencies such as Wilhelmina, Next Management and Modelwerk; born in Mexico he is 6’1” tall with brilliant green eyes which seem to ask, Would You Hit It?

Meme Dump

The Funny Papers

Jeff Stahler, Chris Britt, Ann Telnaes, Nick Anderson, Max Espinoza, Trevor Irvin, Dennis Goris, Daniel Boris, Michael de Adder, Lalo Alcaraz, Gary Huck, Pedro X Molina, Clay Bennett, Jesse Duquette, Benjamin Slyngstad