About a week ago, 27-year-old singer August Alsina—and, to be fair, I have no idea who he is—revealed that he had had an affair with 48-year-old Jada Pinkett-Smith a few years ago and fell in love with her. Okay, whatever; but then he also dropped a nugget about having Jada’s husband, Will Smith’s approval to bang his wife. Okay, whatever, because there have long been rumors that Will and Jada are not the most monogamous couple on the planet and rumors have also swirled that Will may swing both ways.
BUT … where this story gets rich is that as soon as Alsina told his tale, Will and Jada jumped on it and said it never happened, wasn’t true, and that Alsina was a flat-out liar.
BUT … now the Smiths have come clean. Jada even used her Facebook talk show, Red Table Talk, to admit that she’d had an affair with Alsina but that … wait for it because it stinks like the first time … she and Will were separated at the time.
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Jada and Will ran to Jada’s “show” to talk about her ahem, ‘relationship’ and began by lying again when they said their denial of the affair didn’t come from them; oh, yeah, it came from your people who work for you, and say what you want them to say, but when they heard Jada was banging a two decades younger man they released a denial on their own?
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Jada also mumbled some mess about “healing” over the separation and that about four years ago, she met August—who was a friend of her son, Jaden—and that August was “really, really sick” at the time and it was all about helping him; cuz banging him will soothe what ails him since Jada’s vagina has healing qualities.
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She also ALLEGED that Will had dumped her ass shortly before she began banging her son’s friend; or as she called it, an “entanglement,” as in their limbs are all entangled on the bed at the closest No-Tell Motel.
So, Jada thought Will was ever going to talk to her again—wonder what caused that split, because her banging her son’s friend didn’t end the marriage—and she just wanted to feel good and August heal his mental state.
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And so she used her therapeutic vagina to help someone with mental issues by f**king ‘em?
Will and Jada ended the episode by saying this together:
“We ride together, we die together, bad marriage for life!”
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