I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Sharon Osborne is one of those faux-celebrities—you wouldn’t even know her name if she wasn’t Missus Ozzy Osbourne—that seem to think she comes off as just regular people like you and me.

She doesn’t.  Appearing on the Christmas special of the BBC show Would I Lie To You?, Sharon was tasked with telling a story and the other team would guess if her story was true or not; she says this is true:

“I once sacked a member of my staff because he showed absolutely no sense of humor during a house fire.”

Here’s what happened. Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne started a fire in their mansion via an unattended candle, and, well, since she wouldn’t put all her plastic surgery at risk going back into the house to save her art collection, she sent in her assistant. He suffered smoke inhalation and when paramedics arrived, she ALLEGEDLY ripped the oxygen mask off his face and used it on her dog while ordering the assistant back inside the burning house.

Later, as she and Ozzy laughed about the whole thing, the assistant was not amused, and Missus Faux-Celebrity said:

“If you don’t think that’s funny, do you think this is funny? You’re fired.”

And, again, she swears that’s a true story. My Christmas wish is that the sacked employee gets a copy of the show and sues her ignorant ass for all she’s worth.

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This’ll be a short one.

Zac Efron was filming his new reality series in Papua New Guinea when he ALLEGEDLY contracted a “deadly illness” and had to be med-flighted to a hospital in Australia.

The name of Zac’s new series? 

Killing Zac Efron.

You cannot make this shiz up.

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If you’re a celebrity, your every little move is noticed and recorded, and so when you try to play fast and loose with your personal history, well, it’s not a good look.

Case in point: actress Michelle Williams. It appears that People Magazine recently did a piece on Williams and her pregnancy, and engagement to Hamilton director Thomas Kail and glossed over the fact that right about the time of the unprotected sexual contact resulting in the pregnancy both Williams and Kail were married to other people.

That omission led tabloid-ologists to speculate that the Williams’ camp gave the exclusive to People on the condition that they not mention the overlaps in relationships and getting knocked up.

Thomas Kail directed 5 of the 8 episodes of Fosse/Verdon, which began filming in November 2018. Michelle’s divorce from musician Phil Elverum came in April 2019, right about the same time Kail left his wife, actress Angela Christian.

That leaves a lot of wiggle room for some hot unprotected sex with someone other your spouse.

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Lock up your liquor cabinets and hide the car keys, Lohan is coming home to America.

During their New Year’s Eve special for CNN, Lindsay Lohan warned Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen that 2020 will have her coming back to the US. And then she said, again, and again, and then again, that she has a new film in the works and will also be managing her sister Ali’s music career.

Lohan can’t even manage to keep a car out of a ditch or her ass on a bar stool and she’s gonna manage someone else’s career?

Like I said, lock your doors and hide the keys.

Lohan is back. ALLEGEDLY.

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There could be no better way to ring in the New Year than by seeing Sandra Bernhard toss out the old snark and bring in the new.

The actress and comedian poked “good natured” fun at designer Donna Karan’s pricey Urban Zen store during her “Sandy’s Holiday Extravaganza: A Decade of Madness and Mayhem” show at Joe’s Pub.

“Karan met us with global love ideas and her sweeping new coffee table book, ‘African Twilight.’ There’s nothing more heartwarming at the holidays than stories about overprivileged children now in their 50s carting off rare artifacts from their parents’ house. I’ve had it up to here with white ladies and their foundations in Africa!”

A dig at gal pal Madge? Hmmmmm.

Then she unleashed other fabulous Bernhard bon mots:

“Like the Dalai Lama said . . . the closing of Barneys is one of the greatest tragedies of mankind.”

And riffed on selling her Studio City home:

“[It’s] right around the corner from Hortense. Is that Hortense? No, she’s always that way.”

She’ll be there all week.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

JLo had that stripper movie that was supposed to earn her an Oscar nomination …

Hold for laughter.

… but the film really underperformed and so what’s the old girl to do now?

First, wear that cut-down-to-there-and-up-to-there Versace dress that earned her all sorts of notoriety twenty years ago again this year and then suddenly have an old interview “unearthed” where you go JLo on everyone’s ass …

The Movieline interview is from 1998 and people are “rediscovering” it as Lopez starts her campaign for an Oscar nod …

Hold for laugher.

… so here are some highlights:

When asked about Cameron Diaz, JLo said she’s “a lucky model who’s been given a lot of opportunities I just wish she would have done more with. She’s beautiful and has a great presence, though, and in My Best Friend’s Wedding, I thought, ‘When directed, she can be good.’”

Jennifer Lopez, acting critic. But then she goes in after Paltrow, saying in that hushed JLo voice:

“Tell me what she’s been in? I swear to God, I don’t remember anything she was in. Some people get hot by association. I heard more about her and Brad Pitt than I ever heard about her work.”

Says the woman who dated Paltrow’s ex, Ben Affleck. Next up: Madonna:

“Do I think she’s a great performer? Yeah. Do I think she’s a great actress? No. Acting is what I do, so I’m harder on people when they say, ‘Oh, I can do that—I can act.’ I’m like, ‘Hey, don’t spit on my craft.’”

Acting is what I do? Don't spit on my craft?

Hold for laughter. But she goes on … she was “never a big fan” of Winona Ryder but thinks Claire Danes is a “good actress” and finally goes in on Salma Hayek:

“She’s a sexy bombshell and those are the kinds of roles she does. I do all kinds of different things. It makes me laugh when she says she got offered Selena, which was an outright lie. If that’s what she does to get herself publicity, then that’s her thing.”

Man, this Oscar campaign will be delicious with JLo’s own words coming back to haunt her.

JLo. Oscar.

Hold for laughter.

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Well, it looks like the girl that Miley Cyrus jumped off of Liam Hemsworth to jump onto is out of the picture.

Sadly, just a few short weeks into their love affair, Cyrus and Kaitlynn Carter are finished, though sources say Miley is doing fine this time around, she is “looking forward to being single.”

Until the next relationship/publicity stunt is arranged in …five …four …three…two …

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Dean McDermott, AKA Mister Tori Spelling, because, let’s face, that’s all he’s known for, recently came back from a 10-day Hawaiian vacation with his five kids and wife, and described it as “an orgy in your honor with your five kids.”

I don’t know how many orgies McDermott goes to but if they involve your kids someone should call CPS on this asshat because, in his own words, he shows that he is the worst parent ever:

“You have paradise right in front of you. You’re scuba diving and paddle-boarding, and they’re like, ‘Hey, Dad! Come and watch me do s**tty cannonballs in the pool.’… I’ve seen so many bad cannonballs. God bless them. They’re so excited about it, right? But for 21 years — my oldest is 21 — I’ve seen all this stuff.”

Yeah, so who cares if your kids are having fun.

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I’ll start off by saying I don’t care for Beyoncé. Drum me out of the Gay Club, I don’t care. To me she is an ass-shaking, weave-snapping, self-promoting so-so singer. Sue.Me.

For a few years  now Beyoncé has been trying to trademark her daughter’s name and has been in litigation with Wendy Morales, who has used “Blue Ivy” as the name of her wedding planning business since 2009. In 2012, Beyoncé and Jay-Z filed for an application to trademark their daughter’s name a month after she was born but learned about Morale’s company and lawsuits began.

Beyoncé tried to circumvent the suit by adding “Carter” to the trademark application, but Morales had that one blocked too, and has also refused to give up the rights to Blue Ivy unless Beyoncé wants to buy it for $10 million.

Beyoncé doesn’t give up coins that easily and so now she has a new argument in her case as to why she’s the rightful owner of the trademark: She says the words ‘blue’ and ‘ivy’ are synonymous with her daughter because no one in their right mind would ever ask, “Blue Ivy…the Boston-based event-planning company, or the daughter of Beyoncé?” And Beyoncé, who sings about girl power but doesn’t live it also shades Morales’ company by saying it’s “regional” and “small” business, with only three offices, a handful of employees, and a small social media presence.

Morales snapped back that she believes Beyoncé has no intention to use the trademark for business reasons, but Beyoncé disagrees:

“Indeed, the circumstantial evidence, including Blue Ivy Carter’s fame, her interest in fashion and design, and her familial relationship with two of the most famous performers in the world all support BGK’s intent to use the BLUE IVY CARTER trademark in connection with building a brand consistent with Blue Ivy Carter’s interests and skills.”

She adds that “Blue Ivy Carter is a cultural icon who has been described as a “mini style star” and has been celebrated for her “fashion moments” overs the years. Her life and activities are followed extensively by the media and the public.”

Quick, someone grab Beyoncé’s ego, it’s getting blown awayby the wind machine.

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While we’re talking former Destiny’s child singers, let’s talk about forgotten DC member, Michelle Williams. She is furious because people are confusing her with Oscar-nominated, Emmy-winning actress Michelle Williams and wants this nonsense to stop.

Destiny’s Child Michelle Williams took to Instagram Live to ask everyone to stop tagging and fighting with her over the gender wage gap speech that World Famous Actress Michelle Williams gave after winning an Emmy last Sunday night.

To be fair, if you confuse Destiny’s Child Michelle Williams, who is a black woman, with World Famous Actress Michelle Williams, who is white, you’re a special kind of moron, but still Destiny’s Child Michelle Williams should be grateful anyone at all is even talking about her because, before this, she was known as the girl Beyoncé literally stepped over.

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Former TV actor and hot drunk mess, Andy Dick, is in trouble again.

An arrest warrant has been issued for Dick—that sounds odd, doesn’t it—stemming from a 2018 incident in which Dick ALLEGEDLY groped an Uber driver … while he was driving … from the back seat … and groped the man’s crotch.

That’s some Dick, Andy.

This latest incident is not to be confused with the ALLEGED 2019 groping incident in a New Orleans club .... or the July 2018 incident in which he groped a woman on the street … or the time in 2017 when he was fired for ALLEGED sexual harassment for groping people’s genitals on the set of an independent film … or the time he was sued for rubbing his dick in some guy’s face.

This is new. Kind of. New story, same old Dick.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Billy Porter, making history at the Emmys this week as the first out gay black man to win an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama for Pose, saying:

“The category is love y’all, love! I am so overwhelmed and I am so overjoyed that I have lived long enough to see this day. James Baldwin said ‘it took many years of vomiting up all the filth that I had been taught about myself and halfway believed, before I could walk around this earth like I had the right to be here.’ I have the right, you have the right, we all have the right. We as artists are the people that get to change the molecular structure of the hearts and minds of the people who live on this planet. Please don’t ever stop doing that, please don’t ever stop telling the truth.”

Word, Billy, word. And keep telling it.

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_____, tossing a Sarah Palin-esque word salad about the White House “transcript” on how he used his office to persuade a foreign leader to investigate a political opponent:

“Just so you understand; it’s the single greatest witch hunt in American history, probably in history, but in American history. It’s a disgraceful thing. The letter was a great letter — meaning the letter revealing the call. That was done at the insistence of myself and other people that read it. It was a friendly letter. There was no pressure. The way you had built up that call, it was going to be the call from hell — it turned out to be a nothing call. Other than a lot of people said ‘I never knew you could be so nice.'”

God, we should impeach him for being a nonsensical tool who can’t string a single coherent sentence together.

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Patricia Arquette, winning and Emmy for her performance in The Act, on her trans sister Alexis, who died in September 2016 of complications related to AIDS, speaking out against transgender persecution:

“In my heart I’m so sad. I lost my sister Alexis. Trans people are still being persecuted. …. I’m in mourning every day of my life Alexis and I will be the rest of my life for you, until we change the world until trans people are not persecuted. Give them jobs. They’re human beings, let’s give them jobs. Let’s get rid of this bias we have everywhere.”

Brava, Patricia, and we’ll remember your sister, too.

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Corey Lewandowski, _____ Flying Monkey, on appearing before congress and acting like a lying jackass:

“I’m very, very seriously thinking about running for the United States Senate. After this week, no American citizen should have to go through what I had to go through, should never have to be disparaged or attacked the way that I was by these committee members because they didn’t like my politics. When you attack a _____ supporter, it’s okay. There are two different sets of rules. And the American people are tired of it. And I believe the people of New Hampshire, they want a fighter in the United States Senate. And I’d say this week was a clarification of that’s who I am.”

You say fighter while I say whiny little bitch who got butt-hurt before Congress.

Take a seat, traitor.

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Frank Bruni, New York Times writer, on Lewandowski’s “performance”:

“Did that look of unalloyed contempt come naturally to Corey Lewandowski, or did he rehearse it? I picture him in front of a mirror as his “testimony” before the House Judiciary Committee approached, fine-tuning his sneer, perfecting his glare, testing different tilts of his head to see which conveyed maximal disgust with his inquisitors. He was hellbent on acing this performance. And ace it he did, if the goal was to distill the _____ ethos into a few ugly hours. A flamboyant defiance of authority? Check. An extravagant disdain for precedent and procedure? Check. Cockiness, a persecution complex and a proudly situational relationship with the truth? Check, check, check. Bashing the media and even taking a whack at Hillary Clinton, he was Donald _____ in absentia, Donald _____ in excelsis, showing his former boss and future patron how scornfully _____like he could be.”

Practice in front of the mirror!

Funny, cuz it’s probably true.

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Michelle Williams, who won the Emmy for Best Lead Actress in a Limited Series for Fosse/Vernon, on race discrimination and equal pay for women in Hollywood:

“I see this as an acknowledgment of what is possible when a woman is trusted to discern her own needs, feels safe enough to voice them, and respected enough that they’ll be heard. When I asked for more dance classes, I heard, ‘Yes.’ More voice lessons? ‘Yes.’ A different wig, a pair of fake teeth not made out of rubber? ‘Yes.’ And all of these things, they require effort and they cost more money, but my bosses never presumed to know better than I did about what I needed in order to do my job and honor Gwen Verdon. And so I want to say thank you so much to FX and to Fox 21 Studios for supporting me completely and for paying me equally because they understood that when you put value into a person, it empowers that person to get in touch with their own inherent value and then where do they put that value? They put it into their work. And so the next time a woman — and especially a woman of color, because she stands to make 52 cents on the dollar compared to her white male counterpart — tells you what she needs in order to do her job, listen to her, believe her. Because one day, she might stand in front of you and say thank you for allowing her to succeed because of her workplace environment and not in spite of it."

If you recall, Michelle Williams was in the film All the Money in the World, and when the director reshot some scenes in the movie to replace Kevin Spacy with Christopher Plummer, Williams was paid scale—about $1,000—while Mark Wahlberg was paid millions.

And had she been a woman of color, it might have been even less.

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Megan Fox, actress, on her six-year-old son, Noah’s fashion sense:

“Sometimes, he’ll dress himself and he likes to wear dresses, sometimes… And I send him to a really liberal, like, hippy school, but even there–here in California–he still has little boys going: ‘Boys don’t wear dresses’ or ‘Boys don’t wear pink.’ So we’re going through that now, where I’m trying to teach him to be confident no matter what anyone else says. He had stopped wearing dresses for a while–he just wore one two days ago to school, and he came home and I was like: ‘How was it? Did any of the friends at school have anything to say?’ And he was like: ‘Well, all the boys laughed when I came in… but I don’t care, I love dresses too much.’“

Good on him, and good on Mom.

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Billy Porter, again, this time on rumors that he threw shade at RuPaul after RuPaul’s Drag Race won its Emmy:

“Let me make this clear right now in this room to everybody. Right now. There was never a side-eye coming from me. There’s never anything negative coming from me. You’re never going to get from it. Okay. It’s all love, all love, it’s all positivity. Don’t come to me with that.”

Billy doesn’t do fools.

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It's Snarkurday!

Anyone who watches The Real Housewives of New York knows that former besties Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel had a huge falling out in 2010 and stopped speaking. But this week, when Jill’s husband, Bobby Zarin, passed away, it looked like the fences would be mended.

On camera, at least.

Frankel was in Aspen when she learned of Bobby’s death and chartered a private jet to whisk her back to New York for the funeral, and she arrived just before the start of the ceremony. But Bethenny wasn’t alone; no, she had an entire camera crew from RHoNY following her … at … a … funeral. And even more pathetic, is that Jill Zarin knew they’d be filming at Bobby’s funeral and she was fine with it.

And, naturally, Bethenny Tweeted a photo of she and Jill holding hands:

“Today is a sad day with a silver lining. I laughed. I cried. I saw old faces & watched a family come together surrounding a loss. ‘I have a dream’ that Bobby’s death makes us realize what is important & treat each day as our last.”

Wow, she co-opted Martin Luther King.

Reality stars, like Frankel, and former reality stars like Jill, have zero shame.

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Oops; fashion photographers Bruce Weber and Mario Testino stand accused to sexual harassment of male models.

Last month, a male model named Jason Boyce sued Bruce Weber for ALLEGEDLY sexual harassing him during a photo shoot in 2014.  Since then, fifteen more models have come forward claiming Weber of asking them to join him in private clothing-free “breathing exercises” in which he would ALLEGEDLY guide their hands over his body and vice-versa.

Now, Mario Testino also stands accused of inappropriate behavior by thirteen male assistants and models going back as far as the mid-90s; accusations included subjecting them to unwanted sexual advances, groping, and masturbation. Two former Gucci models claim it was well-known that if you wanted to advance your career, you met with Mario for a nude shoot at the Chateau Marmont.

Weber released a statement:

“I’m completely shocked and saddened by the outrageous claims being made against me, which I absolutely deny.”

Testino’s lawyers also questioned the credibility of the models. You know, blame the victim.

Luckily, many in the fashion industry believe the models and have kicked Weber and Testino to the curb. In fact, brands Michael Kors and Stuart Weitzman both said they will not to work on future campaigns with Mario Testino, while Ralph Lauren, who frequently works with Bruce Weber, announced that they will not do business with anyone who “behaves in a way that compromises” their commitment to a safe work environment.

But best of all is that Anna “Nuclear” Wintour issued a statement denouncing sexual harassment and assault in the fashion world, and announcing Condé Nast would no longer be working with Mario Testino or Bruce Weber.

They pissed off Anna?

Bye Felicias!

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More sexual harassment stories? Matt Damon.

No, he hasn’t been accused by anyone, but when the stories and stories and stories began to break, Matt kinda wished these women wouldn’t talk so much about it.

Now Matt has had a change of tune … and when he was asked what he learned from the whole mess, he said:

“I really wish I’d listened a lot more before I weighed in on this. I think ultimately what it is for me is that I don’t want to further anybody’s pain. With anything that I do or say, so for that I’m really sorry.”

And then he added:

“I should get in the back seat and close my mouth for a while.”

Good on Matt for learning.

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Last week we learned that Mark Wahlberg was paid $1.5 million for ten days of reshoots for All the Money in the World while co-star Michelle Williams earned about a $1,000.

Michelle did the reshoots because she believed in the movie, because she didn’t want to be a nuisance, and because she wanted to “fix” the film after Ridley Scott decided to edit Kevin Spacey out.

Wahlberg just wanted more money and threatened to not do the reshoots if the coins weren’t served up to him; he didn’t care if the movie was saved, he didn’t care about Plummer’s recasting or any of that.

It was cash.

And when it was revealed that Wahlberg’s talent agency is the same agency that represents Williams, and that they screwed her over in favor of MarkyMark, suddenly Wahlberg looked like a greedy self-serving ass…because he is.

And so, after a week of people calling him a douchebag, Wahlberg announced he donate the$1.5 million to Time’s Up.

Oh, Mark, let’s all clap you on the back for doing the right thing, but not because you wanted to do the right thing, but because you were shamed into doing it.

Siddown.

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Selena Gomez’s mom loves to talk and kinda loves throwing her daughter under the bus:

Case in point: Selena recently worked with sexual pervert Woody Allen and when Selena’s mom, Mandy, was asked about that: 

“No one can make Selena do anything she doesn’t want to. I had a long talk with her about not working with [Woody Allen] and it didn’t click… She makes all her own decisions. No matter how hard you try to advise. It falls on deaf ears.”

Well, now Selena and her team want you to know that she donated her salary from the film to Time’s Up, okurrrrr?

After Timothée Chalamet and Rebecca Hall pledged to donate their salaries from Allen’s A Rainy Day in New York to Time’s Up, some fans criticized Gomez for not following suit, and so Gomez, who has yet to make a similar public stand against Allen, had a “source” announce that she “made a significant donation anonymously” to the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund that “far exceeded her salary for the film.”

Wait. What. She donated anonymously and then released a statement saying she donated?

Selena is trying to have it both ways – she wants to work on Woody Allen films, but not have to explain why she’s working with an accused predator, and then, of all the nerve, she wants to give herself credit for her anonymous, large donation to Time’s Up.

Bitch. Please.

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A little over three months ago, Jane Fonda appeared on Megyn Kelly’s NBC show and threw a shade face at the host for asking about her plastic surgery.

This week, Jane was on the second hour of Today with Lily Tomlin when she clocked Megyn who wasn’t even there!

Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie interviewed Jane and Lily Tomlin about the third season of Grace and Frankie and when Hoda brought up their friendship and wondered how long they had known one another, Lily looked at Jane and said:

“Oh my God… Before your first facelift.”

Jane snapped back:

“Who are you, Megyn Kelly?”

Lily countered:

“Oh, that’s right, I forgot she was the one!”

Both Hoda and Savannah tried to keep from laughing because Megyn Kelly was clearly nearby.

Still, good on Jane and Lily.

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It's Snarkurday!

You can’t keep a cougar down … Rumer, er, rumor has it that 55-year-old Demi Moore, who never met a young man she didn’t have to have, is shacking up with 25-year-old Nick Jonas.

It’s all on the DL, and the two meet at her friend’s downtown LA loft for their good times. Angeles loft because, for now, Demi doesn’t want y’all to know. But, ALLEGEDLY, it was Demi’s 29-year-old daughter, Rumer, who told Mama Cougar she had another younger man for her, according to a source, most likely Rumer herself:

“Rumer knows Demi is attracted to younger guys, and she figured that since Nick is single and has experience with older women, he’d be up for a love connection. They hit it off — and now Demi and Nick are hooking up.”

Demi was married to 16-years-younger Ashton Kutcher before he left her for the fat younger Mila Kunis; then she hooked up with 31-year-old rocker Sean Friday, 36-year-old Pink Taco owner Harry Morton—who also dated Demi’s daughter Rumer, and 31-year-old art dealer Vito Schnabel.

Nick is Demi’s youngest, so far, because her next boyfriend just graduated from seventh grade.

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Last year, two songwriters, Sean Hall and Nathan Butler, sued Taylor Swift for ALLEGEDLY ripping off the lyrics to “Shake It Off” from the 2001 3LW hit “Playas Gon’ Play.” Taylor, who loves to sue, but hates getting sued, tried to get a judge to throw the lawsuit out.

The two men say Taylor’s chorus of “Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate” was suspiciously similar to the chorus they wrote, “Playas they gonna play, and haters they gonna hate” and they wanted credit … coins … for their work.

And again, TayTay, who loves to earn her coins from suing over intellectual property is not in the mood to play play play … and her lawyers are arguing that the phrases “Players, they gonna play” and “Haters, they gonna hate” are too short to get legal protection on, and therefor they don’t belong to anybody.

Unless, you know, TayTay says she wrote them.

Swifty’s lawyers also argue that Sean and Nathan can’t monopolize the ideas of players playing and haters hating because there is only one person in the music industry capable of attempting to monopolize the act of hating, and that’s Taylor Swift.

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Paris Hilton recently got engaged to Leftovers actor Chris Zylka who ALLEGEDLY proposed with a $2 million ring.

Clearly, Paris is the one with the coins in this pairing so clearly she bought the ring, gave it to him for the proposal, and then flashed it all over social media.

But if you remember that Paris was once besties with Lindsay Lohan, who has a penchant for thievery, especially, of jewelry, it seems only fitting that Hilton has hired 24-7 security to guard her ring.

Hasn’t she heard of a safe? Doesn’t she know that Lohan is out of the country? Why didn’t she just let her fiancé buy the ring, and then, if it was stolen, you’d just have to shell out another $199 to Zale’s?

Just sayin’.

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Last week the women, and men, to be fair, wore black in solidarity of women and the sexual abuse they face, the discrimination they face, and the pay inequity they face, not just in Hollywood but everywhere.

Still this is Snark, so we’ll deal with Hollywood, and Ridley Scot’s film All the Money in the World. You’ll remember it co-starred Kevin Spacey until we learned what a creeper he was to young boys. Then Ridley cut Spacey from the film and replaced him with Christopher Plummer trouble was, the film was finished, so Scott asked some of the films co-stars, Nark Wahlberg and Michelle Williams, to come back and reshoot some of their scenes with Plummer.

And of course they’d get paid for their work … and therein lies the rub.

Rumor has it that while both are equally billed in film—even though Williams is getting raves and Wahlberg is not—and both returned to film for the same number of days—Mark Wahlberg was paid $1.5 million while Michelle Williams was given a check for … wait for it, it should really piss you off … about $80 per day, for a total of about $1,000.

Even worse, none of the other actors brought back in were paid, and even Ridley Scott, the director, wasn’t paid. But Wahlberg’s team of lawyers and agents and accounts negotiated that hefty fee.

Women in Hollywood might be wearing black every day especially given that Williams and Wahlberg are represented by the same agency and that agency worked a huge payout for their male client and basically no deal for their female client.

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The New York Times recently published an op-ed entitled “Publicly, We Say #MeToo. Privately, We Have Misgivings” written by Daphne Merkin, who feels that #MeToo will lead to the end of flirting.

Right?

In France, the movement is cause for great concern because many … many women … think flirting is life …and maybe flirting is coming out of your hotel bathroom naked and asking your employee for a handy … I guess.

A collective of about 100 French women signed an open letter published in Le Monde rejecting what it sees as a new puritanism in the wake of the sexual harassment and assault scandals:

“Rape is a crime. Insistently or awkwardly hitting on someone is not.”

And there were many women of note who signed on to this nonsense, like doctors and lawyers, female politicians, even Catherine Deneuve.

Um, ladies, no one is saying that flirting is out, but they’re saying that asking for a rubdown, exposing yourself, groping a woman, touching a woman, without her consent is no longer happening.

There’s a difference between a simple bit of flirtation and whipping your dick out and asking an employee to suck it.

Last time I checked that wasn’t flirting.

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Hugh Grant is going to be a dad for the fifth time at 57-years-old. This will be his third child with 35-year-old girlfriend Anna Eberstein; they already have a two-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son, but this is where it gets itchy …

Hugh had a “fleeting affair” with Tinglan Hong which resulted in a child being born in 2011; Hugh and Tinglan didn’t pan out and so then he met Anna and they had their first child in 2012.

Then Hugh and Tinglan got back together for the second half of their fleeting affair in 2013 and they had another child.

But, alas, that was over, and Hugh went back to Anna and they had a child together in 2015.

Now in 2018, he and Anna again are going to be parents.

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Disney always knows how to make coins. They make a feature length cartoon and make billions from that and then turn it into a Broadway show and then a live action film; they bag tons of money for the same project.

But Disney needs to learn a very simple lesson: blackface is over.

So far, Disney and Guy Ritchie are making a live-action version of Aladdin and took some heat for casting a non-Arab Princess Jasmine and then adding a new random white character to, you know, get white people in the seats. But this is too much …

There are accusations that Disney is making up extras to look more brown. The accusations come from a background actor named Kaushal Odedra who says when he arrived on-set he noticed an awful lot of white background actors. And then, a few hours later, those same white actors were suddenly brown:

“Aladdin was the perfect time to show diversity but also be accurate. They’re being out of touch with what’s going on around them.”

But Disney has an excuse … and it’s just about the lamest nonsensical POS I have ever heard:

“Great care was taken to put together one of the largest, most diverse casts ever seen on screen. Diversity of our cast and background performers was a requirement and only in a handful of instances when it was a matter of specialty skills, safety and control (special effects rigs, stunt performers and handling of animals) were crew made up to blend in.”

Oh, so they admit to using brown people as extras but when it comes to crew and animal handlers and the like, only white folks were available?

Try again Disney. When you making a film set in the Middle East about Middle Eastern people, why not, oh I don’t know, cast Middle Eastern actors in the parts. Except then the fear is that white people wouldn’t see the film and so there’s be fewer coins to be had.

Shame on you, Mouse House.

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Tonya Harding Is back y’all, and why we’re suddenly celebrating this criminal is beyond me.

But she’s the topic of a new film and so she’s being interviewed by everyone everywhere, though maybe some aren’t thrilled by the idea.

Like Piers Morgan of Good Morning Britain who wasn’t afraid to remind everyone that it’s really Nancy “WHYYYYYYYYY” Kerrigan who is the victim.

Piers kept trying to get Tonya to admit she was involved in the 1994 pipe attack on Nancy. Tonya’s ex-husband Jeff Gillooly said she knew all along of the conspiracy to take down Nancy and even Tonya said in her 2008 autobiography that she wanted to tell authorities about the pending assault but didn’t because Jeff threatened her life.

Still, Piers was having none of it:

“Maybe it suits you to play the victim. But I think the victim in all this wasn’t you. It was Nancy Kerrigan who had her Olympic dream shattered.”

But Tonya is delusional and has been playing the victim card for decades, so she will never admit that she planned it, knew about it, and wanted it done.

Girl, bye.

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We haven’t heard from Kanye in a while, not that I’m complaining, but here he is again, going after people for their fashion sense, even if he’s married to the perpetrator.

Apparently, Kim Kardastrophe revealed that she received an email from her husband … they don’t actually speak? … in which he put her on blast for her sunglasses:

“[Kanye] sent me a whole email like, ‘You cannot wear big glasses anymore. It’s all about tiny little glasses.’”

And instantly she was in tiny glasses because, you know, what Kanye says ….

Clearly, because now all the Kardastrophes are wearing tiny glasses like the Tiny Man ordered.

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