It's Snarkurday!

Perhaps it’s because Lohan was all over the news last week bringing the crazy back, so this week Paris Hilton has crawled from the ooze to suggest that she lives in fear of being attacked by … wait for it … ISIS.

“I’m constantly moving around from one country to another and I’m a famous person who could be a definite target for an attack and that is something that sometimes terrifies me.”

Um, honey, most of the attacks are in cities, like Paris … a city in France … not Paris, as in a dim-bulb socialite with too much time on her hands and an inflated sense of self.

Sit down, Paris Hilton, because you’re an idiot.

Since the demise of Prince some members of his “family” have come crawling out of the woodwork to request their fair share on Purple Rainchecks.

See what I did there?

Over 30 people have laid claim to his reportedly $250 million estate but the judge in the case, Judge Kevin Eide, sent most of them back home to their mother’s basements to await another celebrity death and another shot at being in the will. The judge also ordered six money grubbers to undergo genetic testing to prove that they’re blood relatives of Prince, or at least human, while two women, Brianna and Victoria Nelson, who claim to be his niece and grand-niece, will get a swab in the mouth soon enough.

Five claims were thrown out because those folks say they were adopted, thereby “severing any relationship to Prince even if he had been their biological father,” and because they lacked “crucial documentary proof.”

Look, you can’t just call yourself some indecipherable symbol and expect a boatload of coins to be dropped off at your shanty. Okay?

Jean-Claude Van Damme is back and he still thinks he’s a star.

JCVD is doing a speaking tour — insert accent joke here — in Australia next month and gave several satellite interviews from Bangkok to promote it.  But things got testy because most reporters didn’t know who he was, why he was talking, who would listen to him and, again, who he was. So JCVD pulled a Naomi Campbell … he dropped a few F-bombs, removed his mike and stomped out of the interviews.

“What the fuck is going on with Australia? What the fuck is going on? I cannot do this, I’m too natural, you can blow this stuff away. What is this.”

Maybe he did it for the drama, or maybe he didn’t want to be late to his dinner shift at the Bangkok Chipotle.

Britney Spears has auto-tuned some new music and was out promoting on Australia’s Kyle & Jackie O radio show where she played a game called "Who Would You Rather?" The hosts asked if she’d rather sit next to Katy Perry or Taylor Swift on a 24-hour flight, and BritBrit says she never met TayTay:

“I don’t know! I don’t know, that’s hard. They’re both so cool, I don’t know. I’ve briefly met Katy Perry at the Smurfs movie premiere. Maybe because I’ve met Katy Perry I would say Taylor Swift, because I’ve never met her before.”

Except she has; now, either she’s going all Mimi v JLo and throwing all kinds of shade, or all the meds she takes have erased her memory because there are scads of pictures of BritBritTayTay together at the 2008 MTV VMAs.

To be fair, Britney was riding the Crazy Train in ’08 so she probably thought Swifty was a blow-up-live-action-figure-doll and so she only talked with her for an hour or so.

And Taylor probably thought Britney was one of her back-up dancers.

Speaking of crazy … during a recent interview Kanye West confessed he’d like add “furniture designer” to his list of, um, talents. In fact, he even went so far as to contact IKEA and asked if he could create “a minimalist apartment inside a college dorm.”

He even made the pilgrimage IKEA HQ in Sweden and then Twatted out his need to create build-it-your-self desks and chairs, but, sadly, or not, IKEA wasn’t feeling it:

“Although we are really flattered by Kanye West’s high interest in IKEA and the speculation around a joint venture, we have no plans to collaborate at this point in time.”

Perhaps it was Kanye’s suggestion that the company change its name to IKANYE?

And … can you imagine an IKANYE Kollection? I mean the man charges hundreds of dollars for a white tee-shirt — who does he think he is … Paltrow? — and so one of his chairs would run into the high six figures, and the instructions would be an indecipherable multi-page rant.

So, it’s long been rumored that the Cult of Scientology [C0$] auditions women to be Tom Cruise’s girlfriend … well, at least after Nicole Kidman.

I mean, Katie Holmes got the part and held it for five years until she was able to gather together enough strands of her own hair and weave it into a rope she could use to scale the fences at the Cruise Compound and run off into the night.

Now, it’s actress-voice-over-artist-comedian, Cathy Schenkelberg who claims she auditioned to be Tommy’s Girl — though she didn’t know it at the time — and when she was asked about the diminutive “star” she called him a “narcissistic baby,” said she “hated him, even before she joined Scientology,” and claims to have been heartbroken when he dumped Nicole Kidman.

And it was that smacktalk of Tommy that lead to Cathy’s departure from Co$ in 2009 after 14 years in the cult and millions of dollars given to the cult for her, um, training. She was forced to undergo auditioning to find out why she hated Tommy and that cost her millions and forced her into bankruptcy.

It’s only now that she’s clawed her way back and has decided to spill the Tea in a one-woman Scientology tell-all show called “Squeeze My Cans.”

I wonder if Tommy will bring his new “girlfriend” to the show?

SIDENOTE: Cathy, honey? I’m no Scientologist, but even I know you don’t diss the Money Machine to the Head honchos, m’kay?

Okay, so we all know Justin Bieber travels with an entourage ... to carry him over puddles and find buckets for him to pee in, and so on, but last week he had a dentist appointment and brought along six bodyguards with him because he was scared.

Look, I hate the dentist, too, but what are the bodyguards there to do? Hold his hand and apply cold compresses to his forehead while his teeth are prodded and scraped?

Seriously, man up little boy.

It’s been a while since Gwen Stefani last wept about her divorce from Gavin Rossdale while crowing about her new Insta-Love Blake Shelton, so it’s about time, no?

Gwen is once again talking about her “relationship” with Shelton, only now she’s kind of admitting that NBC may have played up their flirting on The Voice for ratings.

You.Don’t.Say.

Look, when Taylor Swift wants the paparazzi to follow her., she sends out the Flying Monkeys to alert the media … like when she and her I-Wanna-Be-The-Next-Bond-So-I’m-Dating-This-Nitwit boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston, are out on a “date” and smiling and giggling and holding hands and looking like a couple in Celebrity love.

But, when Hiddleston is gone and TayTay has nothing to promote — like a fake relationship — this is what she does:

While leaving a gym in LA recently, and having called the paparazzi to alert them as to where she was and when she’d be leaving, Swifty exited the back door of the gym and walked to her car backwards so the photographers couldn’t get her face in a photo.

Or, maybe she knew that if she just walked out the door like a normal person she wouldn’t get any attent ….

Just when you thought it’d be a Lohan Free Snarkurday …

Last week the Cracktress claimed to be pregnant by her on-the-way-out-the-door-from-crazy ex- fiancé Egor Tarabasov, and her dad, Michael Lohan, who hoped to get a check from a rag magazine by spilling the Tea on a Lohan spawn, confirmed the rumors.

Except … Lindsay’s partying, and drinking up a storm on a yacht, and so her mother, Dina, pulled her head out of a gallon jug of Jose Cuervo to say that Lindsay is definitely not pregnant, and that the distended belly seen in photos of Lohan on the yacht are just Drunk Girl Tummy.

Dina says Lindsay made up the lie to get revenge on Egor for ALLEGEDLY hooking up with a Russian hooker, but, by “revenge” Dina means “big paycheck” because Lindsay was hoping Egor would send some coins her way.

You know, so she could buy more booze and ciggies for her yacht party. 

It's Snarkurday!

So, Beyoncé spilled the tea about her cheating husband, Jay Z, in her album ‘Lemonade,’ and some people went nuts.

I remember that album from back in the day, only then it was by Fleetwood Mac and it was called ‘Rumors’ and it was much better. But hey, Beyoncé never met an idea she didn’t steal so …

With the release of ‘Lemonade,’ more focus is placed on Jay Z’s ALLEGED affair with Rachel Roy — who may or may not have been the reason for the Solange-Jay Z Elevator Beatdown from the past.

Roy, a fashion designer — and who appeared to out herself as “Becky with the good hair” from Beyoncé’s track “Sorry” — says that some “personal information” from her computer was “stolen” and might include some damming info about Bey and Jay. And Roy  — who apparently has no boundaries about to schtupping other women’s men — says that other famous married men she banged might also be uncovered via the emails.

A day after playing the Beyoncé lyric “He only want me when I’m not there/He better call Becky with the good hair” in a social media post, Roy appeared to taunt Queen Bey. Then, realizing she looked like a whore, she made a public statement dismissing herself as Jay Z’s “other woman” after incurring the wrath of the BeyHive.

Never mind the wrath or Beyoncé, because there isn’t any; as long as the story stays out there and people think Roy might be ‘Becky,’ more copies of Lemonade will be sold and Beyoncé will pocket more coins.

After all, it’s the money that counts.

Poor Jessica Biel. She spent YEARS putting together her so-called “kid-friendly” restaurant, Au Fudge and, well, it’s not going so well.

When Au Fudge two months ago, it was not well-received; the kid’s menu is short and overpriced, the place is a hot mess and ALLEGEDLY poorly managed, there are hygiene issues, the focus is on booze and the food isn’t even good.

And now it gets worse because Biel had asked her husband, Justin Timberlake, to help her out by promoting the restaurant and he said, um, ‘No.’

Even though Biel friends like Jason Bateman, Tobey Maguire and Rachel Zoe showed up to promote the business, there is not one photo of Justin at the event — though sources say he was there.

I guess he just didn’t want to be associated with the place? And perhaps that’s because Justin’s own venture into the food biz, Southern Hospitality BBQ is New York, has also been plagued by problems.

Still, your wife’s dream becomes a reality and then a nightmare and you sit on your hands? That’s love, eh?

Blac Chyna, whose Baby Daddy Tyga may or may not be still schtupping Chyna’s newest Baby Daddy, Rob Kardastrophe’s little sister, Kylie Jenner, is in it for the coins.

The Kardastrophe Koins, that is. Chyna will soon be Mrs. Rob Kardastrophe and so she’s filed papers to trademark her name. No, not the name Blac Chyna; she’s gonna trademark her soon-to-be legal married name … Angela Renee Kardastrophe.

Chyna wants the exclusive legal rights to the name Angela Kardastrophe for “entertainment services, namely live television and movie appearances” as well as “living as a social media celebrity, model, actress, and performer.”

Blac Chyna won’t be Blac Chyna anymore … she’ll just be Angie Kardastrophe … and then the ex-missus Rob Kardastrophe because, after all, you gotta keep the players moving, right?

Word of Caution: don’t move next door to Minnie Driver and begin a remodel of your home.

It seems Driver is being sued by her Hollywood Hills neighbor, Daniel Perelmutter, for ALLEGEDLY impeding construction on his home and causing damage to it.

Perelmutter says Minnie is “deranged” and “needs to be institutionalized” and claims she “goes into frenzies” causing damage to his home.

In his lawsuit, he ALLEGES that Minnie has pelted his home with baby food jars filled with black paint, that she told him she wishes he was dead, and that she has tried to kill him with her car.  He also says she has blocked his workers’ access for up to eight hours at a time and that he could even … wait for it … end up dead due to Driver-Induced Stress [DIS]. And last week, police responded to their homes to find Minnie and Daniel screaming at each other over a delivery truck blocking her driveway.

Of course, Minnie has a side, too; she filed a restraining order against Perelmutter last November — which was granted — ALLEGING similar conduct and claiming that he jumped in front of her car twice.

The feud between Driver and Perelmutter, AKA the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s, has been going on for more than a year but, perhaps they should just stop the dance and schtup already?

Or we can give Perelmutter  the last word, in a video he released to tell his side of the story:

“Since [Minnie] lost her job on TV she’s got nothing else to do but to fight with me. Until she gets a job, this is not going to end. Please tell Fox to hire her and get her out of my hair.”

Ouch.

So, Janet Jackson, at age fifty, may be expecting a child with her husband, billionaire Wissam Al Mana, but the rumors abound that this isn’t her first child.

Huh? What? There has been talk for years that Jackson had a daughter during her teenage first marriage to James DeBarge and kept the pregnancy a secret from him, and the world, and gave the child up for adoption.

Now, James DeBarge is talking. See, according to DeBarge, a young woman claiming to be his daughter reached out to him two years ago via email — though the two have never met — and that this woman asked for a DNA test, that hasn’t happened yet.

The woman claims in the emails to DeBarge that Janet had ALLEGEDLY put the girl up for adoption shortly before ending her short marriage to DeBarge. He says he suspected Jackson had a baby, and even went on a search to find her, but had no luck. He believes Jackson didn’t tell him about the child because of “fear and lots of pressure from every angle, from inside and outside… Not knowing how it could hurt her career.”

And now even James DeBarge’s mother is getting in on the story; she believes Janet was pregnant while married to James, but went away for a long time and when she came back, she ended the marriage.

Jackson’s rep did not comment on this story but will Janet’s baby have a much, much older sister?

No telling …

And speaking of babies …

In the last few weeks hundreds, yes, hundreds, of people have come forward claiming to be the son or daughter of Prince and holding a hand out for some of that Purple Rain coin. But, this isn’t about that; this is a feel good tale about Prince and his ALLEGED Kardastrophe Loathing.

Zooey Deschanel, of TV’s New Girl, was on Conan O’Brien’s show last week and told a heartwarming tale of how Prince’s power caused the staff of New Girl to burn all evidence of the Kardastrophes.

See, Prince was such a fan of the show that he offered to shoot a cameo for their Super Bowl episode. In the show, he played Prince — go figure — and was throwing a celebrity-filled party in L.A.  The producers then asked That Woman and Khloe Kardastrophe to be in the party scene and because they are a couple of bloodsucking famewhores, they said Yassssss!

And while they filmed their scenes before Prince arrived onset, Zooey told Conan that one of Prince’s assistants collected all of the scripts and calls sheets and anything with the name Kardastrophe on it and burned everything before prince saw it:

“I’m studying my lines. One of the PAs comes in and she’s like, ‘I need all of the scripts.’ She takes mine from me, takes everyone’s call sheets, so I’m like, What’s going on? I walk outside and she has like a bonfire. She’s burning all the scripts and the call sheets. And it turns out that someone from Prince’s camp said, ‘Who are the celebrities? I hope it’s not a Kardashian.’”

Yasssss.

We talked earlier about Rob Kardastrophe impregnating the woman who is the Baby Momma to his little sister’s boyfriend but let’s not more incestuous Hollywood …

Orlando Bloom was married to model Miranda Kerr who ALLEGEDLY, after the breakup with Bloom, rode Justin Bieber’s wiener a time or two, while Orlando decided to get even by allowing Bieber’s other ex, Selena Gomez, a free ride on Bloom Dick.

It’s a kind of a Circle Jerk, or a Circle of Jerks.

Then Orlando moved on from Selena and began dipping his wick into Katy Perry except … one night last week several cell phones caught Orlando Bloom and Selena Gomez making out at a Vegas nightclub. Orlando got very touchy-feely with the sixteen-year younger Gomez, though she ALLEGEDLY, after the make-out session, went home alone.

But what about Katy? She and Orlando were at a Met Gala after-party last week so they were still together … but I guess because she was in California and Orlando was in Vegas and he needed to cop a feel of a young girl and Gomez was handy … well, you get the idea.

But to keep the incestuous nature of the snark going, Miranda Kerr, Orlando’s ex and Justin’s one-night-several-night stand, was also in Vegas that weekend … at Selena’s concert.

I need a Bleach Bath. Or a Bleccch Bath.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Uh oh.
Even I know there are certain things you can't get away with, like calling Anna Wintour a bitch, but someone needs to give Lady Gaga that tidbit of info.

Gaga was recently honored at the CFDA Fashion Awards with the coveted...really?... Fashion Icon Award, and told an amusing 'story' of how she received the news.
“When I was told I won this award, [Vogue editor] Anna Wintour sent me a text message. She text messages,” Gaga said during her speech. “So she sent me a text message, and it said, ‘We’re so excited to tell you you won the CFDA Fashion Icon Award. And I actually thought it was Anna Treblin, who was one of my very close friends and [my stylist] Nicola’s assistant.”
Okay, you thought your 'friend' Anna would say something like 'we're so excited to tell you'? Keep going.
“So I have a couple Annas in my phone, so my reply was, ‘Yes, bitch, we did it.’ So quite quickly I got a reply that said, ‘How lovely, and we will all be waiting to see what you will wear.’ And then I thought, ‘Well won’t you be helping me choose what I will wear?’ And then I said, ‘Oh! It’s Anna Wintour,’” she added.
She.Called.Anna.Wintour.A.Bitch.
And lived to tell the tale.


Poor Elisabeth Hasselbeck. I know, I said poor Elisabeth Hasselbeck. I should have said stupid, because, well, what did she expect from the MGB­? Y'all remember when MGB® was runnin' fer vice president and Hasselbeck flew all over the country to kiss her ass, er, introduce at rallies? Hasselbeck was on Team MGB®.

Now, though, not so much. Now it seems that the former BFF's haven't spoken in months and all because of something Lizzie said on 'The View'.
A friend--and by friend I mean Sherri Shepard, who doesn't know when to close her yap--says, "I think Elisabeth is a good friend. She remembers birthdays and even with a busy schedule always takes time to stay in touch with her girlfriends. But S____ has let her down. Elisabeth has reached out to her several times but she never responds."
So why has the MGB® gone all silent treatment on Hasselbeck?
Well, Lizzie recently accused Sarah of "manipulating" the media to draw attention away from the more-serious Mitt Romney, and Hasselbeck actually mocked MGB®'s bus tour as yet another attempt to dominate the headlines, like when MGB® rolled through New Hampshire on the day Mitt announced his run for the White House.
Lizzie ranted, on 'The View,' "If I had termites [her metaphor for the economy] in my house, I'd get someone in there who could deal with it. Mitt Romney, right now, his specialty is the economy. I'd have him in there. Here's why we're not hearing it: because S____ P____'s on a bus, and right now she's manipulating, in terms of media attention."
Lizzie also condemned MGB®'s "crosshairs" imagery on a fundraising website, calling them "despicable" after Gabrielle Giffords, one of her 'targets' in the 2010 campaign, was shot during a voter meet-and-greet.
That insider--Hi Sherri!--says, "Elisabeth feels used by S____. When she needed her, she was all over Elisabeth and now she treats her like a stranger. It's sad."
So, MGB® is a manipulator and a user. We knew that, and now it just proves how stupid Hasslebeck is because she never got it.


Just a couple of weeks back, I talked about Zach Galifianakis going off on 'MadMen' star January Jones when she dissed him at an awards dinner.
I didn't know much about him, but I liked his style.

Now, Zach Galifianakis has words for a few other celebrities.
First off, in a Rolling Stone interview, he gives us his spin on self-proclaimed trashy pop star, Ke$ha: "I saw that Ke$ha woman the other day. She was sitting by herself, and I walked up to her and said, 'Listen, I got your e-mail. Your music is really bad! I don't know who listens to it, but I imagine it's, like, six-year-olds -- and it's a bad message.'"
And then he has a message for the little kids who stop him on the street and say they loved him in 'The Hangover'. He tells them they have awful parents, and "I mean it," he adds.
And he has a Sean Penn story. It seems that when Penn offered Galifianakis a role in 'Into the Wild,' Zach, ever the professional actor, said he couldn't talk because he had an appointment at Arby's and to "send my Jews the script."
So, either he's opinionated, and rather inclined to share his opinions about everyone with everyone, or he's being funny. Either way, he's always interesting.


Divas don't come tinier or more demanding than Prince.

In fact, the artist still known as Prince, does not want his picture taken. By anyone. Y'hear me, David Arquette?

Prince, a notorious control freak when it comes to his image, instructs his team of ushers on his concert tour to vigilantly enforce the no-photo rule, even if people try to snap them on their cell phones. And yet, the Little Diva actually encourages fans at his shows to take out their cell phones and wave them in the air like we did in the olden days, with lighters and such. And then he lets people snap a picture or two.

Crazy say what?
See, at one recent show, Mister Courtney Cox, AKA David Arquette, used his cell phone to take a picture of the wee one, and guards instantly descended on him. Arquette tried to talk his way out of it, and pointed out that other fans were using their cell phones to take pictures, too, because Prince had decreed that it was acceptable.
Prince's Flying Monkeys, er, guards, weren't buting it.
Arquette was given the boot. The size four sequined boot.


New Yorkers aren't easily pissed off. It usually takes a lot to rile 'em up.

But the Black Eyed Peas did it, and did it good.
At a concert in Central Park, the Peons, er, Peas, kept thousands of former fans waiting in the heat for six hours, and then made them wait two extra hours in the rain, and then said they weren't gonna perform and get all wet and stuff.
Brian Moriarty, of Queens, asked: "What, Will.I.Am can't play in the rain? Is Fergie's hair gonna get wet?" 
Yes, and yes, Brian.
The pre-show festivities, featuring Taylor Swift, Carole King and Tony Bennett were set to begin at 5 but were delayed due to bad weather, leaving folks like Moriarty stranded in the sopping wet heat waiting for the gates to open. And open, the gates did, at 7:45, but just as fans found their space on the lawn, the police department announced they were shutting everything down due to lightning.
And the crowd goes wild!
"We won't go," chanted the crowd of some 20,000. And they meant it; police had to close in on the groups who believed that by squatting in the meadow they would be treated to the Peas' musical stylings.
Now, of course, the weather is certainly beyond the control of the Peas, but they've yet to apologize or reschedule the concert. Fergie ALLEGEDLY said she was 'bummed' about the cancellation, but I don't think she was as bummed as 20,000 people leaving the park in the rain, in search of a cab.
Note to the Peas; a little archival search on Diana Ross, performing in the park, in the wind and rain and lightning, back in 1983.
Suh-nap. They don't call her Miss Ross for nuthin'.

I Didn't Say It.....

Deputy President of the Supreme Court, David Hope, on the Supreme Court of Britain ruling that LGBT people living in parts of the world which aren't so open-minded can find refuge in the UK:

“To compel a homosexual person to pretend that his sexuality does not exist or to suppress the behaviour by which it manifests itself is to deny him his fundamental right to be who he is. Homosexuals are as much entitled to freedom of association with others who are of the same sexual orientation as people who are straight.”

Sad to say, there are many LGBT around the world, and in this country, who are need of a safe place to live.

Former child star, Kellie Martin, on Miley Cyrus's future:

“I would tell Miley to go to college....It’s really, really important to get an education because when all of this is gone, then at least you have your education. Then you can do whatever it is you want to do. If tomorrow I decided to stop being an actor I could go do a lot of other things.
Knowing that makes me a whole person and have confidence in who I am as a whole person as opposed to confidence in who I am as just an actor. I’m capable of dealing with life things as opposed to having other people around me deal with all my life things, which I think is really important. She’s actually wildly talented, little Miley Cyrus, and she has a sweet family. If she went to college, she’d be totally set. She’d be set forever.”

Too late Kellie. Mylie has been a lifelong student in the college of Do-What-I-Can-To-Keep-Myself-In-The-Public-Eye to worry about having an education.

Joan Rivers, on the one scene she asked to have cut from Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work:

“I gave them carte blanche. There was only one scene in the film that I had them remove and it involved Edgar. Melissa asked that it be taken out. There was a scene where I walk by Edgar’s photograph, and I say ‘Fuck you’ for what he did. Unless you’ve lived through a suicide, you don’t know what it’s like. You never get over being angry with someone who leaves you like that. They were very nice about taking it out.”

Suicide is a very selfish thing to do, and leaves the "survivors" feeling angry at the ones who killed themselves.

Johnny Weir, on his sexuality:

"I've always been comfortable with who I am. When it comes to my sexuality, I just finished the chapter in my book [to be released in January] about my sexuality and my idea of it. I haven't discussed it—not because I'm ashamed of anything you'll read about when my book comes out—I just don't want to put it out there in a way where someone can twist my words. While I don't believe in masculinity and femininity, I don't believe in a purely gay person or a purely straight person. I have a very clear opinion of my own sexuality. I'm not saying anything about my sexuality because I want it to be out there in my own words."

Did everyone get that?

He's not saying anything because he wants to be the one to say it.

Prince, on the Internet:

"You must come and listen to the album. I hope you like it. It's great that it will be free to readers of your newspaper. I really believe in finding new ways to distribute my music. The internet's completely over. I don't see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won't pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can't get it. The internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

Yeah, it's over. It was just a fad like cars and flying through the air, or going into space.

Popular Mexican actress Kenia Gascón, coming out in the weekly magazine TV Notas:

"I've spent my entire life pretending, pleasing others out of fear of losing my job or other opportunities. But in the end, you lose your identity, ultimately limiting yourself."

I wonder if we can get Johnny Weir to spend a few minutes with Kenia.

Maybe then he'll understand that, while one's own sexuality is one's own business, it's important to come out, so that you can truly feel free, and trul be yourself.

Welcome, Kenia, your toaster oven and copy of the Gay Agenda, now available in English and Spanish, should be arriving soon!

Fiddy Cent, on Diddy [these are actual names of men and I'm gay?]:

"Puffy is a bitch. He wanted to be the hot bitch in his group… You know how an ugly bitch surrounds herself with pretty girls? Well, he is the pretty bitch with the other girls around him. He will suck the life out of everyone he is around. His music sucks. It's bad. He's not an artist anyway, so it doesn't really matter. When you think about it, is he a rapper? Because he says he doesn't write rhymes, he writes cheques. Nobody's buying ['Last Train to Paris'] he even said it himself that he doesn't expect it to sell."

I hate when divas fight, and this might get uglier thasn the longstanding Mariah-Whitney feud!