This These Bitches

Remember This Bitch? GOP Senate candidate Tim Sheehy who claimed he’d been wounded in battle and still had the bullet in his arm to prove it? Except he told a park ranger he’d shot himself when he dropped his pistol;? And a doctor who saw the X-ray of the bullet said it was from a handgun and not a military type of weapon? Remember that Bitch?

Well, he got all kinds of pissy when people suggested  he made the whole thing up, but now comes a National Park Service report that includes a detailed written statement from Sheehy to a law enforcement officer regarding Sheehy having accidentally shot himself on October 18, 2015; Sheehy apologized and asked for leniency in 2015.

Sheehy now says that story, the one he apologized for and asked for leniency about was a lie. He has told voters he has a bullet in his arm from his time serving in Afghanistan because that sounds better than shooting yourself in the arm.

Liar.

The Diocese of Brooklyn, led by Bishop Robert J. Brennan, has entered into an agreement with the Office of New York State Attorney General Letitia James regarding the diocese’s two-decade child protection policy. Both organizations have issued a press release on this matter.

But according to Hate Group, AKA The Catholic League, spokesperson, Bill Donohue, the Office of the Attorney General’s [OAG] account misrepresents the terms of the agreement reached with the Diocese of Brooklyn [DB]. Donohue says the OAG contends that “the agreement requires the Diocese to take significant action to prevent and address allegations of clergy sexual abuse” and make reforms such as “Installing an independent, secular monitor who will oversee the Diocese’s compliance with policies and procedures … ” but Donohue also claims it was the Diocese which proposed the appointment of an independent third party to monitor compliance, and then drops this whopper:

“As I recount in my book, The Truth about Clergy Sexual Abuse: Clarifying the Facts and the Causes, there is no institution in the nation that has a better record in combating the sexual abuse of minors today than the Catholic Church. This is not open to debate: the data are conclusive. And this has been true for decades.”

Wait, so the group that has paid out hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars to settle cases against pedophile priests—who were often shielded from prosecution by being moved to different parishes or even sent to the Vatican to avoid arrest and prosecution—has the best record in combating sexual abuse of minors?

Oh, Bill, you and your Catholic League and your Catholic Church and all your pedophile priests can fuck all the way off.

GOP Senator Josh Hawley—the guy who fist bumped the insurrectionists on January 6 but was then seen on video scurrying through the Capitol building as the rioters busted the windows and entered the building—went on Fox News to complain that American infrastructure is in disrepair; roads are failing, bridges are collapsing, and planes are falling apart in the sky.

Hawley, in case you forgot, because he clearly did, voted against that massive bipartisan infrastructure bill that passed in 2021; at the time, Hawley called it a “radical left woke politics bill.”

This is the problem with the GOP: the lies, the lies, the lies.

The Funny Papers

Kevin Kallaugher, Lalo Alcaraz, Clay Bennett, Jack Ohman, Gary Huck, Ann Telnaes, Winters Art, JD Crowe, Pedro X Molina, David Cohen, Bruce MacKinnon,

They're Everywhere ... Monday March 14, 2022

These really are the easiest posts to compile, because, literally, they're everywhere ... but that's what makes it so frightening.

MISSOURI

GOP state Representative Brian Seitz has introduced a bill that would ban the termination of ectopic pregnancies.

An ectopic pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg implants and grows outside the uterus, most often in the fallopian tube, and can be life-threatening for the mother if left untreated; in addition, the fetus cannot survive to be carried to term.

But Seitz’s bill, if passed into law, would make performing, inducing or attempting to perform or induce an abortion for such a pregnancy a class A felony carrying a sentence of up to 30 years in prison.

Woman of Missouri, is this what you want? A man telling you what to do with your body when he clearly has no idea what he’s talking about?

CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE.

FLORIDA

The GOP-controlled Florida Senate approved legislation—dubbed the ‘Stop Woke Act—to limit how workplaces and schools teach race and identity. The measure prohibits trainings that cause someone to feel guilty or ashamed about the past collective actions of their race or sex, and its passage clears the way for Governor Ron DeathSantis to sign one of his top legislative priorities into law.

Stop Woke is also known as The White Fragility Act on this here blog.

MARYLAND

GOP US Senator Ted Cruz visited the “People’s Convoy” in Maryland last week, even riding in the lead vehicle and waving to protesters.

I mean, other than running off to Cancun last year when Texas got too cold for Rafael, is there any other way to show that he has the tiniest dick in Congress than by climbing abroad a big rig and waving like a QAnon puppet.

Texas, really?

GEORGIA

Days before a key legislative deadline, Georgia’s GOP state senators have proposed their own ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill to deter teachers from discussing sexual orientation and gender identity in the classroom.

While the bill stands little chance of passing this late in the legislative session, it does show how bigotry and hatred are working their way around the nation.

Still a note to the GOP asshats: you may stop people from saying Gay, but you will never stop people from being Gay.

IDAHO

The Idaho House of Representatives passed a bill that could lead to librarians being prosecuted for checking out materials that are deemed harmful to minors. If this bill—ironically, it is House Bill 666—passes into law, it would remove an exemption that protects libraries, schools, museums, colleges and universities and their employees for “disseminating material that is harmful to minors.”

GOP state Representative Gayann DeMordaunt sponsored the bill and said it is necessary to protect children from what she described as pornography and obscene material she said has seen making its way into libraries where children can access it.

Idaho needs a Don’t Say Gayann bill.

ALABAMA

GOP Governor Kay Ivey has signed a bill that eliminates the requirement of a state permit to carry a concealed handgun.

Yep, no permit required; anyone can carry a gun, anywhere, anytime, ever. Ivey says:

“Unlike states who are doing everything in their power to make it harder for law abiding citizens, Alabama is reaffirming our commitment to defending our Second Amendment rights. I have always stood up for the rights of law abiding gunowners, and I am proud to do that again today."

I guess by ‘law abiding citizens ‘ she means the ones that shoot up schools and churches and Walmart and movie theaters.

Of note: you need a license to drive a car but a gun? Not so much.

TEXAS

Ed Young, the pastor of the multi-site Fellowship Church in Texas, said in a sermon Sunday there are levels of hierarchy in Heaven and warned Christians who do not use their spiritual gifts to serve God’s kingdom will not be elevated to a higher position when they die.

In other words., make sure you give a bunch of money to Ed Young ort else God will smite you.

Fucking Faux Christian.

FLORIDA

Negotiations between the state Senate and House of Representatives, both controlled by the GOP, broke down, with the two sides unable to agree on a bill that would require inspections of aging condo buildings and mandate that condo boards conduct studies to determine how much they need to set aside for repairs.

Florida Republicans did manage to find the time to create new laws attacking LGBTQ+ citizens, voting rights, women, and educators, but “ran out of time” to stop fatal building collapses.

That’s Flori-duh in a nutshell.

TENNESSEE

Republicans in the Tennessee Senate voted to confirm Jordan Mollenhour,  Governor Bill Lee‘s nominee to the State Board of Education, despite Mollenhour being involved in a lawsuit related to his online ammunition business, Lucky Gunner, selling ammunition to a 17-year-old who shot and killed ten people and wounding another 13 at a Texas high school in 2018. The company was also sued for selling over 4,000 rounds of ammo to the man who fatally shot 12 people at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, in 2012.

Jeff Yarbro, the Democratic Minority Leader of the Tennessee Senate said:

“There are nearly 7 million people in Tennessee surely to God the governor could have found one state board of education nominee who’s not in ongoing litigation about illegally selling ammunition used in a deadly school shooting.”

Mollenhour, who currently represents one district on the Education Board, sailed through his confirmation hearing: 26 of 27 Republicans voted to confirm. One abstained. All six Democrats voted against. The Tennessee House also has to confirm Mollenhour. The vote is scheduled for today.

IDAHO

The Idaho House of Representatives passed legislation to make it a crime punishable by life in prison for a parent to seek out gender-affirming health care for their transgender child.

GOP Representative Bruce Skaug says his bill is necessary because minors are too young to make life-altering decisions about their bodies.

The bill cleared the Idaho House by a vote of 55-13, and now heads to the Senate, where Republicans hold a 28-to-7 majority over Democrats.

Putting parents in jail for life because they love and accept their trans children.

Fuck off Idaho.

Get educated and save yourselves from The Stupids.

And CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE!

The Funny Papers

Matt Wuerker, Michael de Adder, Dave Whamond, Randy Bish, David Horsey, Darrin Bell, John Cole, Marc Murphy, Clay Bennett, Kevin Siers, Jack Ohman, Steve Sack, Ann Telnaes, Mike Luckovich, RJ Matson, Bill Bramhall, 

The Funny Papers

Kevin Siers, Joe Heller, Bruce MacKinnon, Mike Smith, Ed Hall, Mike Luckovich, Steve Sack, Dave Whamond, Michael de Adder, Steve Breen, Bill Bramhall, Darrin Bell, Jack Ohman, Drew Sheneman, Nick Anderson,

Bobservations

The other day Carlos came out of the sunroom and shouted:

“Well, fuck you, too!”

… and went into the kitchen.

“What’s going on?”

“Tuxedo wants to go outside.”

Sidenote: the cats do not go outside, but we take Tuxedo out and let him sit with us from time to time, and Carlos will carry him around the yard every so often. But it’s gotten to the point where Tuxedo’s ‘Meow’ has lost its first syllable and now it sounds like he’s saying ‘Out!’ And he asks all the time, hence Carlos’s mood shift.

“Take him outside if you want.”

“I told him ‘No’ and he told me to ‘Fuck off.’”

I know this is impossible because Tuxedo does not swear.

Speaking of Tuxedo, he really likes humans, but he definitely doesn’t understand y’all …

A statue honoring George Floyd in Brooklyn was vandalized with black spray paint and the name of a white supremacist group—Patriot Front—last week. The statue had been unveiled just a week earlier, on  Juneteenth.

Patriot Front also claimed responsibility for vandalizing a mural commemorating Floyd in Philadelphia.

Note to Patriot Front: you aren’t Patriots, you’re racist, ignorant, uneducated fools, and will stay that way until the day y’all die. Which, and I hate to act like this, cannot come soon enough for me.

Just a thought … if you don’t want to teach kids about slavery and want to preserve Confederate monuments, that’s call it Hypocritical Race Theory.

If you ever wondered just how dumb MAGAts are, these two are on their way to the Thing 45 rally in Ohio last weekend. Does anyone wanna tell them? Or perhaps this means they are Mr. and Mrs. Black? 

The temperature recorded in a part of Canada this weekend was 116-degrees, the highest ever recorded in the country. On Sunday, the temperature in Portland Oregon was 122-degrees, breaking a long-standing record.

But, yeah, let’s not talk about climate change.

In the Fucked-Up File … former Oregon state Representative Mike Nearman has emerged as the GOP’s top choice to retake the House seat he just lost after being expelled from the Oregon House once video footage emerged showing him planning a December incursion into the Capitol by right-wing demonstrators and then opening the doors to let the rioters inside.

He was kicked out of office, and now the Oregon state GOP think he’s the guy to take the job … again.

This week the House approved legislation to remove Confederate statues from the US Capitol, as well as a bust of Chief Justice Roger Taney, who wrote the Supreme Court’s Dred Scott decision that ruled Black people were not entitled to citizenship. The legislation passed with a vote of 285 to 120.

Nice; nicer that 67 Republicans joined all the Democrats voting in favor of the bill., but shocking[?] that 120 Republicans voted against it.

After vowing not to support GOP lawmakers who perpetuated the Big Lie, nearly three-dozen corporate PACs are again donating to those same RepubliQAnons. Toyota leads the way, giving $55,000 to 37 GQP candidates. And now Toyota is spinning this hypocrisy with this statement:

"We do not believe it is appropriate to judge members of Congress solely based on their votes on the electoral certification."

A 180-degree turn from where they stood just a couple of months ago. Fuck Toyota.

Elliot Meeten is 25-year-old model from the UK. He was discovered by a hairstylist when he was seventeen. He submitted his own photos to modeling agencies and signed with Models 1. I He gives great face … I was gonna say head but, well …

He looks lovely, briefly, and would like you to know that if he wasn’t a model he’d be working in either clean energy development or wildlife conservation; so, he’s smart and aware and hot?

But he does love shiny haute couture, and, obviously, ping pong, as well as the occasional grope.

And that ass … on the nude beach. Elliot relaxes when he’s home in Brighton & Hove, where a good day consists of a nice lay in, a round of golf with my friends at a beautiful golf course, and then to a nice Thai restaurant in the evening with my girlfriend.

He had me at lay in, lost me at golf, picked me up again at Thai food and lost me at girlfriend. Sigh.