The Funny Papers

Jeff Stahler, Chris Britt, Ann Telnaes, Nick Anderson, Max Espinoza, Trevor Irvin, Dennis Goris, Daniel Boris, Michael de Adder, Lalo Alcaraz, Gary Huck, Pedro X Molina, Clay Bennett, Jesse Duquette, Benjamin Slyngstad

Ain't That America ... Let's Celebrate A Little ....

Okay, we all know about the big Democrat wins last week … Zohran Mamdani won the New York City mayoral race … Mikie Sherrill is the next governor of New Jersey and Abigail Spanberger won the  Virginia governor’s races … and California voters approved Prop 50 to temporarily redraw the state's congressional districts to add Democrat-leaning districts, but there are other wins, smaller perhaps, but just as important, like …

In Georgia, Peter Hubbard and Alicia Johnson are the newest members of the state's five-person public utility regulator after earning roughly 60% of the vote. It's the first time Democrats have won a nonfederal statewide office there since 2006 and one where soaring energy costs and displeasure with incumbents dominated the race.

Pennsylvania voters retained three state Supreme Court judges that were first elected as Democrats after millions of dollars in outside spending tried to reshape the court's politics. Democrats also won special elections for a seat on Pennsylvania's Superior Court and a seat on its Commonwealth Court. Democrats also swept the top "row offices" in the purple-hued Bucks County, electing the county's first-ever Democratic district attorney and defeating an incumbent Republican sheriff; Democrats similarly won in county executive races in Erie, Lehigh and Northampton counties.

In Mississippi … yes, Mississippi … Democrats have broken a GOP supermajority in the state Senate after flipping two seats in that chamber and another seat the state House.

Democrats also expanded their control of the Virginia House of Delegates and gained a supermajority in New Jersey's General Assembly.

In Georgetown, South Carolina, Democrats flipped all three city council seats, while in Orlando, Florida the last remaining Republican city council member was voted out. And for the first time in fifty years Democrats control the Onondaga County legislature that includes Syracuse, New York, while in North Carolina Democrats saw a city council seat in Charlotte switch parties for the first time since 1999.

Beyond Mamdani's victory in New York City, the Democratic Socialists of America touted municipal wins for members in Detroit, Atlanta and Cambridge, Massachusetts, among others.

DNC Chairperson Ken Martin predicted that the party's success in special elections in 2025—Democrats overperformed prior margins by an average of about 14%—would continue into the midterm cycle.

Let’s keep this going into next year, and beyond …

Democrats are turning up the heat on the DOJ to release details on a probe into the Epstein's co-conspirators that was "inexplicably killed." Jamie Raskin, the top Democrat on the House Judiciary Committee, wrote in a letter to Attorney General Pam Bondi:

"I write to demand an explanation for why DOJ has abandoned the women and girls abused by Mr. Epstein, Ms. Maxwell, and their co-conspirators, fired or cut off career prosecutors from the case, and ceased its investigation into one of the largest sex trafficking rings in history."

But Cankles wanted this investigation killed because his name is all over the Epstein files so that’s what Pammy Jo Bondi did. Unfortunately for Cankles, the pressure to release more information on Epstein is bipartisan. Democrats and Republicans alike want answers and the moment that the government reopens there are going to be widespread demands for a full release. 

MAGA hack Judge Aileen Cannon—a partisan Cankle appointee who oversaw his federal criminal case and ruled that Jack Smith's appointment was unconstitutional—was ordered to release the remaining parts of Special Counsel Jack Smith's investigation into Cankle's classified documents scandal:

"By keeping this order in place, Judge Cannon is undermining both accountability and the rule of law. There is no legitimate reason for the report's continued suppression, and it should be posted on the court's public docket without further delay."

We The People have a right to know the full truth about Cankles the Felon.

When Josh White, owner of Heretic Coffee Co. in Portland, learned that many families could lose SNAP benefits on November 1, 2025, he couldn’t imagine parents struggling to feed their children so he made a bold promise: anyone losing assistance could come in for a free breakfast burrito and a cup of coffee no questions asked. Critics warned him it could destroy his business, but Josh said he was willing to lose everything if it meant children wouldn’t go hungry.

What happened next was wonderful, as people across Portland and across the world began donating to support his mission. In just a short time, over $300,000 was raised, giving Heretic Coffee the ability to serve thousands of free meals.

Josh never set out to be a hero; he simply refused to ignore people in need, which is what the Cankles Regime is doing … letting people starve.

Before announcing that she would be retiring from public service, Nancy Pelosi dropped a truth bomb on CNN when she said of Cankles:

“He’s just a vile creature. The worst thing on the face of the Earth.”

And  then she laid out the charges:

Turning the Supreme Court into a rogue arm of extremism.

“Abolishing” the House’s power like an aspiring king.

Intimidating the press.

Terrorizing immigrants who are here legally.

And she made it clear: her mission in Congress isn’t about legacy, chairs, or ego but:

“My only reason I'm in Congress this term is to win the House for the Democrats, to protect us from the poison of the [Cankles Regime.”

You can say what you want about Nancy Pelosi but she has, on more than one occasion, stared straight into the eyes of that wannabe dictator and called him exactly what he is:

A fascist racist rapist grifter predator and a liar.

Speaking of heroes, here’s Illinois National Guard Captain Dylan Blaha, who had his security clearance suspended by DUI Hire Paranoid Pete Hegseth after he urged his fellow servicemembers to not “obey illegal orders against Americans.”

In addition, he is also running for US Congress  in Illinois to make America affordable for all Americans.

That is The Resistance at work.

Steve Bannon, that unbathed lump of rightwingnut flesh, told the Conservative Partnership Institute, in his best Scalet O’Hara impression:

“As God is my witness. If we lose the midterms, if we lose 2028, some in this room are going to prison—myself included.”

So, um, Steve? What’s the problem exactly?

"Dr." Mehmet Quack Oz was front and center as Cankles unveiled a new deal with two pharmaceutical giants to expand coverage and reduce prices for their popular obesity treatments and Oz announced:

“Mr. President, our estimate, based on the company numbers as well, is that Americans will lose 135 billion pounds by the midterms.” 

Since clearly math and numbers are hard for the regime, let me spell this out: the current U.S. population is 342 million and every American would need to lose about 394 pounds over the next year to hit Oz’s figure. And if the group was limited to the estimated 146.9 million people on Medicare and Medicaid, each individual would need to lose an average of 900 pounds.

Seriously … stupid.

GOP Michigan Representative Lisa McClain, who is best known here for telling a Cankles rally crowd that he killed Osama Bin Laden, says the GOP had its ass handed to them because, well, let’s have her say it:

“Voter turnout from Republicans was not high. Not high at all. But I think part of that reason is because Republicans, for the most part, are happy with what’s happening.”

The MAGAts are happy with America so they stayed home and didn’t vote?

Sure Jan.

In Oregon last week U.S. District Judge Karin Immergut ... appointed by Cankles in his first term ... issued a permanent injunction barring the Cankles Regime from deploying the National Guard in Portland in response to protests against his immigration policies:

“This Court arrives at the necessary conclusion that there was neither ‘a rebellion or danger of a rebellion’ nor was the President ‘unable with the regular forces to execute the laws of the United States’ in Oregon when he ordered the federalization and deployment of the National Guard.”

Cankles can appeal the ruling if it wants to … when he wakes up from his nap.

It looks like Cankles AKA Sleepy Don was once again caught taking a nap in the Oval Office during a press conference. A Washington Post analysis of multiple video feeds found that Cankles spent nearly 20 minutes trying to keep his eyes open before nodding off. And, of course, the White House denied Cankles was asleep and suggested the question was out of line:

“The President was not sleeping; in fact, he spoke throughout and took many questions from the press during this announcement which represents a historic reduction in prices for Americans on two drugs that help Americans struggling with diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and other conditions.”

Yeah, keep spinning that story. 

Cankles wants the Washington Commanders to name their planned $3.7 billion stadium after him; a senior White House source said there have been communications with a member of the Commanders’ ownership group, led by Josh Harris, to express Cankle’s desire to have the stadium bear his name and even KKKarolying Leavitt jumped in:

“That would be a beautiful name, as it was [Cankles] who made the rebuilding of the new stadium possible.”

I have some suggestions ... Adulterers Arena  … Cankles Coliseum … Fat Fascist Football Stadium … Sexual Predator Park … Lying POS Stadium … Blithering Idiot Bowl ...

Do you have any suggestions?

It appears that the same day Cankles napped in the Oval  a man collapsed and a photo of Cankles standing utterly still, ignoring the commotion, while others attended to the man went viral.

If that isn’t a metaphor for what this Fascist Racist Rapist Predator Liar Con Artist Thieving Adulterer is doing to this country … standing by while Americans work without pay, while Americans go hungry, while his fascist Police Chief DogKiller Noem arrests and detains innocent people, while his DUI Hire Hegseth shoots boats out of the water in the Caribbean then I don’t know what it might be.

But it’s time to keep the Resistance up and keep the pressure on and work as hard as we can so that next November another blue Wave will take back America from the hands of  criminals.

Meme Dump

Good News and Hope from November 5th

We’re a couple of weeks out from Election Day and many of us are still angry and sad and frustrated from the election of The Felon. Like many Americans, I am left wondering what people were thinking by putting this liar, convicted felon, and sexual assaulter in the Oval Office again. What’s going to happen to us, and to the most vulnerable, marginalized among us? And when are the MAGAts going to realize what they’ve done by voting for a criminal?

I imagine it will be January 20, 2025, but then it’ll be too late; no do-overs. Still, there is some light in the darkness; we have many victories to celebrate …

After it was clear The Felon would win the election, he and his supporters declared that he had won an “unprecedented and powerful mandate” but did he?

The final Electoral College victory was 312-226. Sounds impressive, I guess, if this were a sportsball game, but by historical standards, it’s actually a very close margin. In fact, The Felon did only slightly better Biden’s 306-232 victory in 2020,  which was a hair better than The Felon’s 304-227 win in  2016.

To contrast: Reagan won with 489 Electoral Votes in 1980 and with 525; George H W Bush got 426 Electoral Votes in 1988; Clinton, 370 in 1992 or 379 in 1996; Obama won 365 Electoral Votes in 2008 and 332 in 2012.

Nothing “unprecedented” about The Felon’s victory.

But what about the popular vote? Sure, The Felon broke Republicans’ long losing streak by actually winning the popular vote for the first time in 20 years but his margin is nothing to brag about. According to CNN, The Felon leads Harris by 3.2 million votes, or 50.2% to 48.1% with 95% of the votes counted but with millions of votes left to count, including in very blue parts of California, that margin will close and it appears The Felon could end up with under 50% of the vote, with a winning margin of under 1.5%.Compare this with four years ago, when Joe Biden won by 7 million votes and 4.4% of the vote.

Sure, The Felon won, but the margin of victory was no mandate.

And while The Felon won the Big Prize, November 5th was an outright loss for other MAGA candidates. Look at Mark Robinson in North Carolina and Kari Lake in Arizona; both lost decisively. In North Carolina, Robinson lost to Democratic Attorney General Josh Stein by almost 15% and North Carolina voters chose a new Democratic Lt. Governor, Rachel Hunt, a new Democratic Attorney General, Jeff Jackson, and Democrats even flipped a state House seat to break the GOP’s legislative supermajority, which means Governor Josh Stein will be able to veto the worst of what Republicans try to unilaterally shove down North Carolinians’ throats.

In Arizona, Democratic Representative Ruben Gallego defeated MAGA election denier Kari Lake for the state’s open U.S. Senate seat by 2.5%. That makes Gallego the first Latino U.S. Senator from Arizona and marks the fourth Democratic U.S. Senate win in the state in a row. That means that Arizona, whose voter rolls boast 300,000 more Republicans than Democrats, has Democrats serving as both U.S. Senators, Governor, Attorney General, and Secretary of State.

We’re not dead yet, y’all.

In addition to Gallego, Democrats did very well in swing state U.S. Senate races, including several Democratic female candidates,: Senator Jacky Rosen in Nevada, Senator Tammy Baldwin in Wisconsin and Senator-elect Elissa Slotkin in Michigan. Now, with the loss of Senator Bob Casey in Pennsylvania, Democrats will be the Senate minority but imagine how much worse it would have been without those other wins.

The strong Democratic performance in North Carolina is going to be crucial in 2026 when Senator Thom Tillis is up for reelection and in 2028 when Sen. Ted Budd is up. Flipping those seats is the path back for Democrats to a Senate majority by 2028. And with North Carolina’s new state Representative-elect Dante Pittman, whose flip of a red seat kept the GOP from wielding an ongoing legislative supermajority, to Michigan where Democrats expanded their majority on the state Supreme Court, to Pennsylvania where Democrats held onto their state House majority, the work on the ground in swing states proved decisive in race after race.

That’s where we start to win and move that up the ticket.

And also look at the wins on progressive policies: out of the ten states that had abortion rights protection measures on the ballot, those initiatives passed in six of them, including in red states like Montana and Missouri where, thanks to these results, there will now be legal pathways to challenge the current restrictive GOP abortion bans. Abortion protection measures also passed in swing states Arizona and Nevada, as well as blue states such as New York, Maryland, and Colorado, where there will now be additional firewalls against future Republican attempts to restrict women’s freedom. 

And what about worker’s rights? In deep-red Alaska, Ballot Measure 1, which raises the state’s minimum wage to $15 per hour by 2027 and provides employees the ability to accrue paid sick leave, passed with around 57% of the vote. A similar measure in conservative Missouri, which would raise the minimum wage to $15 by 2026 and allow employees to earn an hour of paid sick time for every 30 hours worked, passed with 58% of the vote. And in Nebraska voters passed their own paid sick leave measure, winning nearly 75% of the vote.

All this points to a clear opportunity for Democrats moving forward by championing progressive economic policy so that working-class voters understand who is truly fighting for them at all levels of government.

And since The Felon will once again enter the presidency with majorities in both houses of Congress, it’s more important than ever for Democratic leaders around the country to align against his worst policy instincts and do what they can to minimize the damage. In the last week, we’ve seen Democratic Governors come out strongly asserting their intention to block attempts to undermine the rule of law and their citizens’ rights in their states.

Such as Governor Pritzker of Illinois, who said:

“To anyone who intends to take away the freedom, opportunity and dignity of Illinoisans, I would remind you that a happy warrior is still a warrior. You come for my people, you come through me.”

And Governor Newsom of California who convened special Legislative sessions of Congress to take on The Felon’s attacks on education, women and the LGBTQ+ community.

And let’s also remember the history-making Democrats voters chose to elevate last week, like Sarah McBride from Delaware, who will become our first openly transgender member of Congress; Senators-Elect Angela Alsobrooks of Maryland and Lisa Blunt Rochester of Delaware, making history; the first ever Korean American U.S. Senator, Andy Kim of New Jersey; Julie Johnson, the first openly LGBTQ+ member of the U.S. House of Representatives from Texas.

At the local level, Democrat Monroe Nichols is the first Black Mayor of Tulsa, Oklahoma, a city where Black businesses were once burned to the ground and its residents terrorized and killed by white mobs. And now young LGBTQ+ leaders of color: Rashaun Kemp in Georgia and Amaad Rivera-Wagner in Wisconsin.

So, yeah, we are all still heartbroken and shell-shocked but let’s not forget the wins, especially those in Red states, and those progressive policy wins, and those down ballot victories. That’s where you can find the hope as we move through the next two-to-four years. We, as a party, are in a good position to make gains in the next two years as The Felon inevitably overreaches with unpopular initiatives and dubious Cabinet picks, and his so-called “mandate.” 

Don’t sit this one out because that’s what the Right wants us to do.

h/t The Big Picture

Meme Dump