For Deedles ... Cuz She Asked For It!

Okay Deedles … the ‘Wee’ tour.

This is the powder room, remodeled by Carlos and myself, and painted and designed by me. I liked the idea of a man’s pin-striped suit, so I painted pinstripes on a black wall. Then with a new toilet and sink, mirror, light, and artwork—all photos taken by me, everywhere from Snoqualmie, Washington, to Brookgreen Gardens at Myrtle Beach—and we have a much nicer Rest Stop at Casa Bob y Carlos. The mirror is a horizontal mirror that I hung vertically after painting the old frame to match the frame on one of the photos.

PS This is the original powder room. I know!

Random Musings

You never know when something’s just gonna hit you, and kind of wreck you ... like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, my sister, and me.

See, the other night I was watching RHoBH with my favorite housewife Erika Girardi AKA Erika Jayne. Erika can sometimes appear aloof and cold, but this week she was talking about her grandmother dying of Alzheimer’s and how they talked all the time on the phone, until the calls because fewer then finally stopped as the disease took her grandmother’s mind and memories.

So, how does this relate to my sister? Well, it’s like this ... I last saw my sister when we went to California in August of 2014—she passed away in February 2015. At that time she and I talked, and she’d decided she wasn’t doing any more chemo or any more radiation; she knew it was a losing battle and she wanted to be ‘there’ in every sense of the word for her family. And so she told me to not come back out and see her, that she wanted me to remember her as she was in August. Then she made me promise that if I ever called her and she didn’t seem aware and didn’t seem to know what was going on, that she didn’t want me to call again; she didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable about the calls.

But I called, and she did seem oftentimes confused; and when I called during Christmas of that year, six weeks before she passed, she didn’t seem to know who I was; we chatted and I told her that Carlos and I were thinking n of her and she said, “Carlos?” And I knew; she, my sister, was no longer there, that the cancer had spread and she was forgetting things. And I remembered what she said about calling and so I didn’t call again.

And then she was gone.

I felt guilty ever since then because I think I should have called, if not to hear her, but so she could hear me, and it wasn’t until seeing an episode of RHoBh this week that I realized, she didn’t know me, wouldn’t know me, and all the call would do is further break my heart.

So, I cried a little watching that show, but now I feel better because, once again, my big sister was doing right by me, and watching out for me.

Just sayin’.

On to other things ... Tom Hanks recently sent a gift to the White House press room: a new espresso machine and a note:

"To the White House Press Corps

Keep up the good fight for Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

Especially for the Truth part."

I love that ... especially the ‘truth’ part because it will be the press that brings this president down and I will be thankful to them for it.

Last weekend we installed a new toilet in the master bathroom and, as we do, we do things wrong and then right them. But I tried to nip that in the bud this time and demanded that Carlos read the instructions first, and he said he did.

I should’a known ... as I unpacked the new toilet, I found this rubber seal, and I noticed it was to be set between the tank and the toilet base to prevent water from leaking out. I showed it to Carlos and told him what it was, and he replied that it was the ‘wax ring’ that goes under the toilet, attached to the flange.

Flange! Look at me all builder-y and shiz.

Anyway, I said, “It’s not a wax ring; we bought the wax ring when we bought the toilet. It’s rubber, and goes between the tank and the base.”

“No, it’s the wax ring.”

Then I showed him the illustrated instructions and the drawing of the rubber ring being placed between the toilet and the tank to prevent leakage.

Score one for me!

Then, as the toilet came together and the water was hooked up, Carlos was all excited until he realized that the seat needed to be attached to the toilet before the tank went on because you had to attach it from underneath. So, he’s on the floor, nestled between the toilet and the wall, and trying to put a rubber bolt up under the toilet to catch the screw that would hold the seat in place. I suggested that was odd, because if we ever had to replace the seat, we’d have to take the tank off the toilet to do so and that seemed dumb, but Carlos said that was how it was done.

“Did you read the instructions?”

“Yes, I know this is the way it goes.”

“Did you READ the instructions?”

“Yes!”

I get the instructions and we look at them and then Carlos says, and pardon his French, “I’m a f**king idiot.”

See, the rubber bolt is pushed through a hole in the top of the toilet base, then the seat is set in place and then the screw goes in so that, if you need to replace the seat you don’t take the toilet apart.

“I’m a f**king idiot,” he says again.

“Yes, you are,” I say, and we sat on the bathroom floor and laughed until we nearly peed ... with the toilet almost ready for us to use.

Remember when the Republicans would slam Obama when he played golf, and seem t suggest that he played more golf then acted as president? And remember that Donald _____ was one of his biggest critics about the golf?

“This guy plays more golf than people on the PGA Tour.” 

And after visiting flooded Louisiana, _____ accused Obama of playing a game rather than caring about the country even though those in charge in Louisiana asked the Obama to stay away for security reasons:

“Honestly, Obama ought to get off the golf course and get down there.” 

And then, during a 2016 campaign event in Virginia _____ promised that if he were elected he was “not going to have time to go play golf. I’m going to be working for you, I’m not going to have time to go play golf.”

Huh, then please to explain how the good folks at NBC did the math and have come up with the FACT that _____ is more apt to be on a golf course than in the Oval:

“Over the last five weekends [since he’s been in office], the president has visited his luxury resort four times – each trip costs American taxpayers about $3 million – and as of last night, Trump had spent 31% of his presidency at Mar-a-Lago.  He’s now played golf eight times since taking office six weeks ago.”

Eight rounds of golf in six weeks! And let's not forget the nearly ten million dollars it's cost We The People to let him got South every single weekend! How much will that be come impeachment day is anybody’s guess.

Years back I saw Malcolm McDowell in time After Time, the story of HG Wells and his Time Machine, and how Jack the Ripper steals the machine and travels to modern day San Francisco where his grisly murders pale in comparison to the violence of the 1970s.

Well, the movie has become a TV series with Jack the Ripper arriving in 2017 New York City and HG Wells hot on his trail ... hot being the operative word because Wells is played by British actor Freddie Stroma.

Hot and British. Yum.

Paul Burrell, Princess Diana’s former butler , has come out as gay and announced this week that he’ll be marry lawyer Graham Cooper after divorcing his wife of 32 years some six months ago.

Burrell made a name for himself after Diana’s death when he wrote a tell-all book about their personal relationship and then appeared in a string of reality TV shows like I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! 

A source says Burrell and Cooper will be having an opulent, circus-themed wedding ceremony so, naturally, we’d like to send along a Coming Out Getting Married Toaster Oven, perfect from crumpets, and a copy of The Gay Agenda.

Welcome out and congratulations!

Carlos dubs these photos as proof that Tuxedo and MaxGoldberg are homosexual cats. I think they just like to stay warm on cool mornings and Consuelo is not a snuggler.

The Bathroom Pictures .... Finally

The old, ugly, flesh-colored, badly tiled, brown-toileted kinda generic guest bathroom.

The floor needed to be replaced under the vanity because the vanity was actually set down lower than the sub-floor.

The walls are primed, and then painted a dark semi-gloss, almost black, gray.

The tape goes up for my pinstripe effect, and then the smaller stripes are painted a lighter shade of a matte gray.

The paint dries, the tape comes off, and, Houston, we have achieved pinstripes!

Our first ever attempt at tiling, and, with but a few mistakes, all of which were caught before becoming final, it turns out pretty good.

Finished product; dual-flush, water-conserving toilet and sleek pedestal sink with new light fixture. The mirror was a freebie find that I painted that cool shade of green, which matches some picture frames that are in the room as well.

Out with the old ... in with the new. It took longer than we expected, because we mostly did the work on weekends, but we love the finished look!

Random Musings

The bathroom is coming along … slo-o-o-wly. It seems we can really only work on it over the weekends and every weekend we have something else that needs doing, or we have plans, or, well, we’re just lazy. But I have done the pin-striping along the walls and, if I do say so myself, it looks darn nice.

Here’s my tutorial [click to emBIGGERate:

Paint the walls the color of choice; mine was a dark gray, almost black. Then, lay out where the stripes should be drawn. This involves math and calculators and pencils and try-and-error. But I figured it out so that each of the four corners would be a space between stripes and then the walls would have equally spaced stripes on them.

Next comes the chalk-line, with Carlos holding on a mark near the floor and me, on a ladder — we have nine-foot ceiling so it’s hard — holding the line to the mark near the ceiling. Snap the line and voila!

Next came taping the lines, which I wanted to eyeball at about 1/8-inch wide, but I wanted them to not be perfect all though the room. I liked the more fluid nature of the lines that were 1/8-inch, then maybe narrowed a hair, and then came back to the original width.

After taping all the lines, you go back over the tape with the original wall color. This is done to prevent the lighter stripe color from bleeding under the tape; no matter how you press the tape down, you might get some bleed-through and this step solves that problem.

Finally, you apply the stripe color — I wanted a lighter gray — and paint the lines from floor to ceiling. Remove the tape and you have …

Pin stripes!

Carlos gave the “It’s too dark” speech and I told him I had a vision and we’d have to see it through before he played that card again.

The National organization for Marriage [NOM] got yet another smackdown this week, this time from the United Sates Supreme Court.

It seems NOM wanted to halt the recently legalized same-sex marriages in Oregon and had asked Justice Kennedy to do so. Kennedy, though, referred the issue to the entire court, and they all agreed to not get involved.

Snap! Smack.

Speaking of same-sex marriages, Melissa Etheridge had another one last weekend.

Etheridge married her partner of four years, Nurse Jackie creator Linda Wallem, and Tweeted that image of their happy day with this message:

“True love…so blessed. ‘By the power invested in me by the state of California…’ Thanks‘ “

This Etheridge’s second wedding but her first legal marriage. She previously had a commitment ceremony with Tammy Lynn Michaels back in ’03, and that ceremony took place when same sex marriage was not yet legal in California.

Now, Etheridge is fully, legally married, and let’s hope this one sticks.

Juts sayin’, marriage is hard, gay or straight.

Bianca Del Rio is the Drag Superstar, thanks to her victory on RuPaul’s Drag Race, but her next step might just be movie star!

Bianca — AKA Roy Haylock — has begun crowd-funding a new film, Hurricane Bianca, teaming up with director Matt Kugelman for the new comedy, and wants our help to fund the movie.

Hurricane Bianca is a feature-length comedy about a New York teacher [Haylock] who moves to a small town in Texas, gets fired for being gay, and returns disguised as a mean "lady"[Bianca] to get revenge on the people who were nasty to him.

I think this could be truly hilarious, and, if you decide to donate to the film’s expenses, in return for your donation, Bianca and Matt are giving away some prizes, including the chance for an appearance on a web series called "Bianca Hates You."

OMG! Bianca could read you! Loving it, and hoping the film gets made.

In discrimination news this week, for the 17th time, Exxon Mobil shareholders have rejected a resolution that would have instituted new policy within the company to prohibit discrimination against LGBT workers.

Yeah, seventeen times they’ve voted for discrimination, with just 19% of shareholders voting against discrimination.

Just the reason I need to never get gas at Exxon, for the seventeenth year in a row, I might add.

When the previews for Maleficent came out a few months back, and I saw La Jolie done up as the evil one, I told Carlos we were seeing the film; and I told him every time I saw an ad after that until the film finally opened, and then I said we’d see it last weekend.

I.Loved.It.

Carlos.Hated.It.

I’ve buried him under the house. Sssssh.

I kid. He did hate it, because he wanted her to be more evil, and I explained that she ::::Spoiler Alert:::: wasn’t supposed to be evil, and that the film explained why she did what she did.

He still wasn’t having it; he wanted an unrepentant Maleficent a la Joan Crawford, I think.

In fact, he hated the movie so much he didn’t even comment once on the cute Prince Phillip, played by the totes adorbs Brenton Thwaites.

Someday my prince will come and … oh hell, who am I kidding? My prince came along fourteen years ago.

Last week I praised Justin Bieber for his $500,000 donation to amfAR, and then I heard that he made some kind of racist joke, using the N-word. I was not surprised, thinking the little turd is just that, a little racist turd, but then I heard that he made the stupid “joke” back when he was sixteen or seventeen, and so I kinda wanted to give him a pass because he was even dumber then, you know.

But now another video has surfaced where he’s changed the lyrics to one of his own songs, and sings about “lonely n*****s” and killing one so he can join the KKK.

His people say he was just reciting what he’d seen a comedian do onstage, but he can’t remember that comedian’s name or where he saw him.

I’d say these last two instances are just some extra nails in the coffin that was his career.

Here’s hoping.

Former presidential and senatorial candidate, and major asshat, Alan Keyes, who once compared same-sex marriage to nose-picking … huh… and claimed that it leads to totalitarian regimes … what? … is back and locked and loaded again.

He is now saying that gay sex "is not 'sexual' activity at all." 

I’m saying he’s probably not doing it right.

Need another celebrity, a la Alec Baldwin, shouting homophobic slurs at paparazzi? Well, Jonah Hill is your man! After, he says, being followed and harassed by a TMZ paparazzo all day long, Hill finally shouted to the man:

"Suck my dick you faggot!"

You know the drill; it’s the worst thing you can call someone, the biggest insult. Gay = bad. But, and there’s almost always a but, Hill came out almost immediately and apologized, unlike Baldwin who played the ‘I’ve got gay friends’ card and the ‘I never said that’ card.

Jonah Hill:

"This is a heartbreaking situation for me...I'm upset...From the day I was born, and publicly, I've been a gay rights activist...This person had been following me around all day saying hurtful things. I played into exactly what he wanted and I said a disgusting word...It's bulls--t and I shouldn't have said that. I'm happy to take the heat for using this disgusting word. What I won't allow is for anyone - it would break my heart to think that anyone - especially with all the work that I've done and all the loved ones that I have - that I would be against anyone for their sexuality."

Well, that was more a Poor me, I’m really a nice guy speech and not really an apology, but then Hill apologized again:

"There was a paparazzi guy and he was antagonizing me and calling me names, attacking me personally, and my family personally, and I was genuinely hurt by this, and made angry by this, and in response, I wanted to hurt him back, and I said the most hurtful word that I could think of at that moment.

 “You know, I didn't mean this in the sense of the word, you know? I didn't mean it in a homophobic way And I think that, um, that doesn't matter. How you mean things doesn't matter. Words have weight and meaning, and the word I chose was grotesque. And, you know...no one deserves to say or hear words like that. I've been a supporter of the LGBT community my entire life and I completely let the members of that community and everybody else down when I used a word like that...I'm genuinely and deeply sorry to anyone who has ever been affected by that term in their life.

“I don't deserve or expect your forgiveness, but what I ask is that at home, if you're watching this, and you're a young person especially; if someone says something that hurts you or angers you, use me as an example of what not to do, and don't respond with hatred or anger. Because you're just adding more ugliness to the world. I'm so sorry."

He could have stopped with I’m so sorry because that’s all we want; oh, and to never hear him say those things again.

I’m hoping Hill opens up a Celebrity Apology Center, offering free admission to Baldwin and Bieber to show them how you really, sincerely apologize.

The documentary How To Survive A Plague, detailing the early days of the AIDS crisis in America and the rise of militant gay groups like ACT UP, hit theaters last year but came nowhere near Smallville.

Luckily, though, it played on PBS this week and Carlos and I watched it. An amazing documentary that reminded me of things I’d seen, and of things I hadn’t—like AIDS activists throwing the ashes of their loved ones who’d died from complications of AIDS onto the White House lawn.

Powerful stuff.

Powerful stuff, seeing those men who have been given a death sentence and didn’t dare crawl away and hide, but rather stood up and demanded respect and treatment and fair access to medications.

Powerful stuff, watching these men being told they have AIDS and will soon be dead, not giving up, and then, years into the plague, finding relief in AIDS drug cocktails that helped them survive, though didn’t cure them.

I kept thinking what it must have been like to be told that you have AIDS and that you will die, and you reevaluate your life, reassess your choices, and become a fighter, knowing you are dying, only to have a reprieve in the form of new drugs How hard it must have been to go from living to dying back to living, with AIDS.

Heroes all; and all of us, infected or otherwise, owe those men, and women, gay and straight, a huge debt of gratitude for not just lying down and dying.

And then on the reverse side of the coin comes this …

In a discussion about a recent incident involving Brad Pitt where a crazed “fan” latched onto his groin, HLN host Nancy Grace regurgitated the 1977 pie attack on Anita Bryant, calling Bryant a "sweet lady" that reminded Grace of her mother.

Grace made no mention of Bryant’s voracious anti-gay crusades in Miami that spurred on the pie toss, and a guest on Grace’s show actually says maybe the pie thrower was jealous of Bryant’s beautiful voice.

Nancy Grace is a moron, I’ve always known that; a media whore who says anything if it gets her a shot on TV, but to call, a woman who clearly wanted gay people out of way, by whatever means, I might add, out of jobs, and homes, and out of Miami, sweet is the height of stupidity.

Random Musings

Just in time for Christmas weddings ...

The New Mexico Supreme Court has ruled unanimously in favor of marriage equality, making it the 17th state to allow its citizens the freedom to marry.

Congratulations New Mexico!

I’ve always wondered why I go to bed with perfectly normal hair and wake up looking like it went through a blender.

A few weeks back I suggested to Carlos that we forgo getting each other Christmas gifts this year; I mean, we really want for nothing, and really don’t need anything. I suggested that, in lieu of gifting one another, we redo the powder room at Casa Bob y Carlos. A new sink and toilet, new lights, new paint, new tile, new fixtures and we’d have a nice new powder room for guests.

Carlos was all for it and then this week he told me he was taking Tuesday off. I asked why, and he said he had some shopping to do. I asked him what he was shopping for and he said, ‘Christmas gifts for you.’

I reminded him of our discussion just last month and his lip went out and his face went sad and he said, ‘You mean I’m not getting anything for Christmas?’

Looks like I’ll have to hit the stores after all.

Oy.

President Obama has joined the leaders of several European nations in saying he will not attend the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi, but he’s going one step further. He has announced that he will be sending some openly gay athletes in what's being called a message to Russia about their strict anti-gay propaganda laws.

Lesbian tennis legend Billie Jean King will attend the opening ceremonies in a delegation led by former Homeland Security secretary Janet Napolitano, with Michael McFaul, United States Ambassador to the Russian Federation, Robert L. Nabors, Assistant to the President and Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy, and figure skater Brian Boitano joining in as well.

Also, out lesbian Caitlin Cahow, Olympic silver medalist and bronze medalist in women’s ice hockey will join the group for the game’s closing ceremonies; this group will be led by William Burns, Deputy Secretary of State, McFaul, Bonnie Blair, five-time Olympic gold medalist and one-time bronze medalist in speed skating, and Eric Heiden, five-time Olympic gold medalist in speed skating.

Good going, Mister Prez, though when did Boitano come out? Or is he part of the non-gay delegation?

UPDATE: 
Brian Boitano has officially come out as gay in a statement released by his publicist:

"I am currently skating in Europe but want to provide a statement regarding my appointment to the Olympic delegation. I have been fortunate to represent the United States of America in three different Olympics, and now I am honored to be part of the presidential delegation to the Olympics in Sochi. It has been my experience from competing around the world and in Russia that Olympic athletes can come together in friendship, peace and mutual respect regardless of their individual country's practices. 

It is my desire to be defined by my achievements and my contributions. While I am proud to play a public role in representing the American Olympic Delegation as a former Olympic athlete, I have always reserved my private life for my family and friends and will continue to do so. I am many things: a son, a brother, and uncle, a friend, an athlete, a cook, an author, and being gay is just one part of who I am. First and foremost I am an American athlete and I am proud to live in a country that encourages diversity, openness and tolerance. As an athlete, I hope we can remain focused on the Olympic spirit which celebrates achievement in sport by peoples of all nations."

Welcome out, Brian. Welcome Out. And of course since you love to cook, we'll be sending you the Coming Out Toaster Oven and a copy of the Gay Agenda.

Welcome out.

Just once I wanna read a story about a bakery owner who happens to be gay and refuses to bake a cake for a Christian wedding.

You think the Christian wingnuts would get their panties in a twist about that?

In the Giggle Dept:

Former Arkansas Governor, and quitter in the last presidential run, Mike Huckabee has told a group of pastors that he will let God decide if he should run for President again in 2016.

Like she has time for that!

So, White Collar. Imean, Matt Bomer is a given hottie, but Tim DeKay also piques my interest, but suddenly this season I’ve begun to notice one Sharif Atkins on the show.

He’s giving me a Bomer.

See what I did there ... just sayin’.

UPDATE:

Administrators at Holy Ghost Preparatory School suffered a sharp and swift backlash this week after firing Michael Griffin the day he applied for a marriage license to marry his partner—see original post HERE.

The school says they had no choice but to terminate Griffin, yet thousands of supporters have protested the move through Facebook groups and petitions demanding that Michael Griffin be rehired; some alumni have even pledged to withhold financial support.

Hitting this school in the bank account might be just the incentive they need. Or, folks could pull their kids and their tuition out of there as well.

Bill O’Reilly has jumped into the Megyn Kelly kerfuffle over Whites Only Santa and Whites Only Jesus for one of two reasons:

1] He’s irrelevant, even on FoxNews, or …

B] He’s thinking this will be a way to jump on Megyn Kelly.

Either way he’s a delusional asshat.

For the third year in a row, the AIDS Healthcare Foundation has a float in the Rose Parade but this time it will feature a live same-sex wedding.

From the AHF:

"Following a United States Supreme Court ruling in June that allowed same-sex marriages to resume in California, AHF’s float this year will celebrate same-sex marriage and the role it can play in helping to reduce new HIV infections among gay men.

As part of its ‘Love is the Best Protection’ theme, AHF’s float will include what is believed to be a first: a same-sex wedding performed live during the parade. …  Aubrey Loots and Danny Leclair, a gay male couple from Los Angeles together over a decade, will be ‘Living the Dream’ as they legally marry on New Year’s Day during the historic parade."

Now that’s what I call a wedding ceremony, with millions of guests watching!

Congrats to the happy couple.

The other night, while perusing the TV channels, I asked Carlos if he wanted to watch a DVR’d episode of Major Crimes and the conversation went like this:

“What show is that?”

“Remember the show last year with the detective who had all the HoHos and Twinkies in her drawer?”

“The guy with the raincoat?”

"No, not a guy. Her name was Brenda Lee Johnson and she always had cakes in her desk? And the actress left the show and they got a new boss, that tough woman?”

:::crickets:::

“Never mind you don’t remember the show.”

Several minutes later …

The guy with the raincoat? What was his name?”

“Columbo.”

“Yeah. Is that the show?”

“No. And Columbo wasn’t eating candy.”

“Yeah he was, he always had a lollipop.”

“You’re thinking Kojak.”

“Yeah. That show?”

“Yes, I’ve DVR’d a pair of shows featuring male detectives from the seventies, but I decided to call them Brenda Lee Johnson.”

“Oh, I don’t like that show.”

Oy.

Hostages features the most implausible storylines ever, but it does feature some delightful Man Candy. I mean, there’s Billy Brown, up top, who has always been a hottie, and now they’ve added Brian White, on the bottom, as an evil military man intent on killing the President.

Evil, but hot in some boxer brief’s y’all.