Catarina Orduña Pérez Loved Cock

Catarina Orduña Pérez, known as Doña Cata in the small Mexican town of Mislanta where she lived in for 99 years, was a mother, an abuelita, and a great-abuelita, and was so admired in her town that politicians sought out her endorsement.

And, as I said earlier, she loved cock, often bragging that her family was full of “vergas” … “cocks” … and claiming “verga” was a family emblem to her. Doña Cata instilled the message in her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren that they were “vergas” and could accomplish whatever they wanted, especially the women, in a country steeped in machismo. And she was right, because many members of the family went on to wide-ranging careers in education and politics.

Mota Limón recalled how his grandmother “saw life with great optimism and that problems shouldn’t overwhelm us.” She conceptualized that idea to the family with the metaphor of a penis, meaning when you’re verga, “one should not give up. When problems arose, you needed to face them head-on.”

Like many Spanish words, verga can mean a few things; best translated in English as “cock” due to its general use as a profanity, “verga” can be an insult, telling someone to go fuck themselves … “vete a la verga” … or that they’re not worth shit … “vales verga)” … or can be seen as a compliment, that something seen as “verga” is cool or badass.

And so years before Doña Cata’s death, she told her family that she wanted a monument to “verga” erected on her grave, and though they at first thought she was joking, they came to realize that Doña Cata is the epitome of “verga,” being cool and badass and wanting to spend eternity under a giant cock-and-balls.

And when Doña Cata passed away on January 20, 2021, her family decided to grant her final wish and hired a local engineer to craft that dick. It took a team of 12 about a month to make the verga and huevos—cock and balls—headstone, but it’s, um, been erected for all the town to see.

And many people in the town come to visit the “verga,’ and a few throw holy water at it while screaming, “Sucio!” … Dirty! … but it’s become a tourist attraction and a draw for dick lovers everywhere.

And Doña Cata would love that.

PS Note to some of you, and you know who you are: it's a headstone, not an amusement park ride.

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