Snarky Thoughts

Over the weekend Jennifer Lynn Lopez Noa Judd Anthony became Jennifer Lynn Lopez Noa Judd Anthony Affleck. In between marriages she also dated Diddy, Cris Judd, Casper Smart, Drake, and Alex Rodriguez.

My Thought: how long before this current “love of her life” fizzles.

Khloé Kardashian who began dating Tristan Thompson while his current girlfriend was pregnant,, and then had a aby of her own with him, while he cheated on her repeatedly, is having another child with him via surrogate so her daughter will have a sibling with the same father who is also fathering children everywhere else on the planet.

My Thought: not the best example to show your daughter or your, possible, son.

One of Hollywood’s Hot Chris’s, Chris Evans, who has no issue with onscreen nudity, says he is “laser-focused on finding a partner.”       

My Thought: I’m right here, Chris, and Carlos has given me a Hall Pass.

Cardi B and Offset’s daughter, Kulture, recently celebrated her 4^th birthday and, as most parents know, they gifted their child with the traditional Fourth Birthday Gift: $50,000

My Thought: cuz nothing says Mommy and Daddy love you like a basket of cash.

Jen Shah, of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, who was charged with defrauding elderly people last year and spent the season on the show screaming and crying about her innocence, even going so far as to create and sell “Not Guilty” and “Free Jen Shah” merch, has changed her mind and pleaded guilty in federal court. She faces 11 to 14 years behind bars and must pay $9.5 million in restitution.

My Thought: you’re a criminal, and you know it, so maybe don’t take a job on a reality show where you flaunt your “wealth.”

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

There’s nothing like a celebrity barfing up a forty-year-old story to get some fresh publicity. And I’m looking at you Brooke Shields.

We get into the Way Back Machine and head to 1980, when people lost their shiz at 15-year-old Brooke Shields’ Calvin Klein’s ad where she says:

“You want to know the only thing that comes between me and my Calvin’s? Nothing.”

It’s nothing compared to what we see today, but forty-one years ago it was escandalo! And so, to mark that four decades old mess, Brooke appeared on Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast and talked about a 1980 interview she did with Barbara Walters that she now calls … wait for it … “practically criminal” because Babs asked what her measurements were and if she was a virgin.

Call CPS! STAT! Except … five years earlier Brooke’s mother, Teri Shields, offered up her 10-year-old daughter, fully nude, dolled up and slathered in grease, as the subject of photos for a Playboy publication called Sugar and Spice so questions of virginity and measurements couldn’t have been that criminal.

Not like a mother having her prepubescent child pose nude. Take it down a notch, Brooke.

photo

Sarah Ferguson, AKA The Duchess of York, is back once again with another chapter for her ongoing life struggles in which she claims that she is “the most persecuted woman in the Royal Family.”

Oh, it didn’t just happen; The OG Fergie says she has been shunned and persecuted since she and her husband Andrew—with his own set of scandals—split up in 1992 and divorced in 1996. It’s like she’s pulling a Brooke Shields, dredging up decades old stories for some fresh publicity,

Referring to the negative media coverage she received following her separation from Prince Andrew, she says:

“I was maybe the most persecuted woman in the history of the royal family, but I’m still here.”

Now, she may have been the most dragged royal, but persecuted? Walk a minute in Diana’s shoes, hon, who was called insane and crazy by the royal family machine during her separation and divorce and was then hounded literally to death by the press.

Take a seat, Sarah. We’ll call you when wanna suck toes.

Google it.

photo

Now, onto to George Clooney, trying to prove he’s just like the rest of us.

Clooney did an interview with the Guardian to promote his new movie, The Tender Bar, and discussed fame, raising his twins during the pandemic, politics, his childhood, and the fact that he turned down $35 million for one day’s work in an airline commercial:

“Well, yeah. I was offered $35m for one day’s work for an airline commercial, but I talked to Amal [Clooney, the human rights lawyer he married in 2014] about it and we decided it’s not worth it. It was [associated with] a country that, although it’s an ally, is questionable at times, and so I thought: ‘Well, if it takes a minute’s sleep away from me, it’s not worth it.’”

Get a good night’s sleep, George. We remember the $30 million paycheck you got for those Nespresso commercials.

photo

Last week we discussed Madonna’s thirsty nipple and ass Instagram photos, and this week we discuss her attack on 50 Cent—whom she accused of “pretending” to be her friend—after he “talked smack” about those photos, posting to his social media:

“yo this is the funniest shit LOL. That’s Madonna under the bed trying to do like a virgin at 63. She shot out, if she don’t get her old ass up.”

And Madonna, never one to revert back to being a teenaged girl, posted a picture of she and Fiddy posing together on the red carpet saying.

“Here is 50 Cent pretending to be my friend. Now you have decided to talk smack about me. I guess your new career is getting attention by trying to humiliate others on social media. The least elevated choice you could make as an artist and an adult.”

And then she proves what a thirsty child she is by adding:

“You’r [sic] just jealous you won’t look as good as me or have as much fun when you are my age.”

I was kinda hoping for:

I’m rubber, you’r [sic] glue, whatever you say bounces on me and sticks to you.

But hers was enough because 50 Cent apologized, and the playground is safe again for the children.

photo

Y’all remember that Khloé Kardastrophe got together with athlete Tristan Thompson when he dumped his pregnant girlfriend to be with Khloé, only to dump Khloé for a hot minute when she got pregnant, and then they got back together because dumping pregnant Khloé is okay with Khloé? Remember that?

Well, it’s still going on because Thompson has knocked up another girl while he and Khloe were are were together, and Tristan is suggesting the woman is trying to extort money from him.

Um, no, Tristan, it’s called Child Support, and it’s what men have to pay because they can’t keep their dicks in their pants.

PS Tristan ALLEGEDLY tried to give this newest Baby Mama $75,000 if she dropped her paternity suit, which is something all men do when the baby in question isn’t theirs.

Keep.It.In.Your.Pants. If you can’t use a condom, dumbass.

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Now that Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes has wound down to nothingness, and the universe righted itself, Andy Kohen sat down with the Koven to discuss their, um, legacy?

It was all rather blah, from what I read since I have never watched anything Kardastrophe—I even turn off Khloé’s insipid commercials—apparently the audience was treated to Kimmy’s take on her minute’s long marriage to basketball player Kris Humphries.

Kim says she owes Humphries an apology—bitch owes the planet an apology— for the way she handled their 72-day marriage and divorce but he was apparently not in a forgiving mood, even when she ran into him the Beverly Hills Hotel a few years back and it did not go well:

“I saw him and all of his friends got up from the table, we had the tables next to each other. All of his friends got up and said hi to me and he literally just looked at me and like wouldn’t even speak to me.”

Kim says Humphries is “faith-based”—meaning religious, something Kimmy knows nothing of because she’s “fame-based”—and wanted an annulment,  which is why he claimed fraud in his filing:

“If I was mature, I would have wanted the annulment too. I wish I was only married once.”

Hey, you aren’t married now, or did you forget that Kanye already has a new side-piece he’s traveling with in Europe? You dragged Kris Humphries into marriage for a TV show and then dumped his ass when the ratings didn’t go up.

That’s what happens Kimmy when you live your life for social media.

photo

Britney Spears has been a pop star since the last century but has been laying low for several years now due to legal battles with her daddy about her money.

But, in a new Instagram Q&A, BritBrit says she’s not sure if she’ll ever sing again ... and the world heaved a sigh of relief.

There’s more to this story, but I want to leave it on a high note.

photo

Disney+’s latest superhero series, Marvel’s Falcon and the Winter Soldier, is a hit, but one of its stars, Anthony Mackie, seems a tad peevish that people online are saying his character Sam Wilson AKA the Falcon is secretly in love with Bucky Barnes AKA the Winter Soldier, played by Sebastian Stan.

First things first: I am in love with Sebastian Stan. Get that queer, Anthony. And now, back to snark …

Anthony has gone after the Twitterers who envision homo-love for Sam and Bucky, saying that two straight men can have a strong friendship without the “gay”:

“There’s so many things that people latch on to with their own devices to make themselves relevant and rational. The idea of two guys being friends and loving each other in 2021 is a problem because of the exploitation of homosexuality … It used to be guys can be friends, we can hang out, and it was cool. You can’t do that anymore, because something as pure and beautiful as homosexuality has been exploited by people who are trying to rationalize themselves.”

Wait; he calls homosexuality pure and beautiful, but doesn’t want you thinking Sam and Bucky are the new homo Sam and Diane?

Mixed messaging, Anthony. Luckily, the uber hot Sebastian Stan doesn’t share Mackie’s views; he says:

“I’m just happy that the relationship is embraced, and it should be embraced in whatever way or fashion that people desire and want it to be.”

Which is why I think they are gay and in love and that I’d like to be the meat in a Sam-and-Bucky sammich.

photo

In the Everything Old Is New Again File … Chris Brown has once again been accused of attacking a woman.

Police showed up at Brown’s home after a woman them saying she’d just been slapped in the face by Chris and the attack caused part of her weave to come out.

Chris responded via Instagram—because, why not—by telling everyone that the accusations are so damn “cap,” meaning people are spreading lies.

And so there you have it … known abuser Chris Brown says he did not abuse another woman.

photo

More from In the Everything Old Is New Again File … serial cheater, Tristan Thompson—who cheated on his baby mama with   Khloé Kardastrophe, whom he cheated on when she was pregnant—has been accused of allowing his penis out without a leash … again.

Apparently, Tristan went to the birthday party of YouTuber Tana Mongeau and was seen entering a room with 3 women and when he came out he was, um, “disheveled.” To be fair, he might have been helping them move furniture but … serial cheater.

As the story broke, though, it was reported that Tristan and Khloé broke up for the millionth time and the Koven wants you to know that the breakup happened weeks ago and so Tristan wasn’t technically cheating on Khloe … again.

Uh huh.

Note to Tristan: if you wanna end this now, just say you thought you were boning Khloé, and she’s had so many knew faces, you thought this was just the newest one.

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Kevin Spacey, former Oscar-winning thespian, current Hollywood perv, is, again, severely out of touch.

According to a new Hollywood Reporter piece detailing Spacey’s legal troubles, during a legal deposition, Spacey “sprung up from his seat” and performed a song-and-dance number.

Seriously. Sadly, no one had picked Kevin Spacey Channels Judy Garland During the Deposition on their Bingo card so there is no video.

But we do know from folks who witnessed the show, that Spacey’s performance happened during his legal battle with former employer, Media Rights Capital, who produced House of Cards, and are seeking tens of millions of dollars in damages they suffered after the allegations against Spacey came out. Spacey, of course, countersued, saying they owe him money.

Anyway, after more than a year of private negotiations, the Spacey case was submitted to an arbitrator in February 2020, right before the lockdown began. And, like everything in Spacey’s world, the legal proceedings quickly turned bizarre when Spacey sprung up from his seat and performed a song-and-dance number in the conference room.

No word on what he sang, or if he brought tap shoes but I’m guessing he’s practicing his fancy footwork as a way of getting out of this mess. Not guilty by reason of being a showman?

And this lawsuit isn’t Spacey’s only legal battle. While three of his sexual misconduct accusers have died—illness, suicide, hit by a car—he’s still being sued for sexual assault by one of his ex-acting students from the ’80s—who was 14 at the time; Anthony Rapp is also a plaintiff in that suit, and he was also 14 when Kevin allegedly assaulted him. And then there are the six sexual assault accusations out of London, where Spacey lived while running the Old Vic theatre. The Brits are still deciding whether to press criminal charges against him, based on findings made by Scotland Yard’s Child Abuse and Sexual Offences Command.

I wonder what he’ll sing at that hearing.

photo

In most of America when someone puts a For Sale sign in the yard, it means you wanna sell your house. But in Hollywood, people start wondering and gossiping.

Case in point: the recent story that 54-year-old director Sam Taylor-Johnson and her husband, 30-year-old Aaron Taylor-Johnson, put their house on the market is leading people to speculate that the Taylor-Johnsons are over after nine years of marriage.

Perhaps the rabid speculation spurred on by a For Sale sign is the relationship between Sam and Aaron. They met while filming 2009’s Nowhere Boy—she directed it, he played John Lennon; he was 18 at the time—just 6 years older than one of Sam’s children—and she was 42 and married, with two daughters. But Sam divorced her husband and started dating Aaron, and a year later they had a child together; 18 months later had their second child. And then they got married. So, she’s an older woman and she was his boss, so clearly there’s something creepy about all this and that’s why the rumors spread?

Or maybe they love each other and simply want to move, because everyone knows that, in Hollywood, if you want people to talk about your relationship ending, you take off your wedding ring around photographers.

But … but … if the story is true, and the couple are splitting up, and Aaron needs a place to stay, we have a lovely guest room here at Casa Bob y Carlos and it would take just a couple of minutes to move Carlos;’ things in there.

Just sayin’. I’ve seen Aaron fully nekkid in A Million Little Pieces and it’s spectacular.

photo

Once again Tristan Thompson has been accused of cheating on Khloé Kardastrophe.

Who did not see that coming? I mean, Tristan began dating Khloé after dumping his pregnant girlfriend for her; and then he knocked up Khloé and cheated on her while she was pregnant; and now, big surprise, he’s accused of cheating again with one Sydney Chase, an Instagram model.

Sydney is either a fool, the dumbest woman on the planet, or just a ho because she claims she had no idea Tristan had a girlfriend.

Khloé, on the other hand is either a fool, the dumbest woman on the planet, or just a ho because she doesn’t believe he cheated on her,

Again.

photo

Sure, these days you may know Alyssa Milano more from her work with the #MeToo movement, or her political Tweets, or her just plain outspokenness, but Milano made a name for herself on Who’s The Boss?, Melrose Place and Charmed.

So, recently, someone on social media went after Milano, claiming her career is basically over, and saying, “Sad how a washed-up actress is still trying to be important,” Milano was not having it. And because she’s the person who will respond to Tweets, she did so:

“I get a lot of those. Usually, it comes from people who identify as a different political party than I do. You see, I identify with the party who believes in equality and equity and opportunity for everyone, and also the party who fights for the most vulnerable and the marginalized communities. But beyond just that, just because you say something to be hurtful, it doesn’t make it true. I have consistently worked since I was 7 years old, and you can just fuck off now and move along.”

Zero fucks. I love that.

Simply put don’t come for Milano unless she sends for you.

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Well, Constance Wu seems to be loving her diva attitude … at least until the phone stops ringing and she stops getting hired.

Now the Crazy Rich Asians and Fresh Off the Boat ‘star’ is accused to sh*tting all over a rented penthouse. Well, to be fair, Wu rented the penthouse and then allowed her pet bunny—oh, isn’t she just so twee—roam wild around the space and take dumps wherever it pleased.

Wu rented the $6.5 million Chelsea apartment in NYC while she was filming Hustlers with JLo and, without the owner’s consent, she brought along her pet rabbit, Lida Rose, who proceeded to defecate and pee freely all over the place.

A housekeeper—hired by the owner to clean once a week—noticed the piss-and-shiz show and told the owner, who warned Wu to keep her pet in its cage, but Constance Wu only cares about Constance Wu so she ignored the warnings and the defecation continued until the owner eventually called Wu’s management and threatened to throw her out.

Wu is not talking because she’s an irresponsible egotistical wannabe star who will be a has-been before you know it … with a bunny who poops in a cardboard box under an LA overpass.

photo

If you’d ever thought that the Kardastrophe Koven was just a petri dish of incestuous relationships, you’re right on the mark.

Tyga, who is Kylie Kardastrophe’s—let’s face it, she’d lose the Jenner as fast as she could if given the chance—ex-boyfriend, was once married to Jordan Craig.

Jordan Craig has a child with Tristan Thompson.

Tristan has a child with Khloe Kardastrophe.

Tyga also has a kid with Blac Chyna.

Blac Chyna has a child with Rob Kardastrophe.

Do those people not know anyone else they can date or impregnate or be impregnated by?

That whole Klan needs a Silkwood Scrubdown™.

photo 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

When a family has spent decades relying on one person to pay their bills and buy them shiz, what does that family do when the Coin Machine™ is dead? Send them out on the road as a hologram.

Yes, Dead Whitney is going on tour because the Houston family needs the coins. Despite the fact she’s been dead for seven years, Whitney Houston’s estate is planning on releasing a new album and sending Whitney out on tour in the form of a hologram.

Estate executor, and sister-in-law to Dead Whitney, Pat Houston has plans for a Dead Whitney album, a Dead Whitney Tour, and a Dead Whitney Broadway musical because even a Dead Whitney makes more money than Pat Houston, or the family.

Funny thing, though, in 2016 there was supposed to be a duet between Dead Whitney the Hologram and Christina Aguilera, but Pat put the kibosh on that because it was tacky. I think they thought it was tacky because Christina would get some of the coins and the Houston’s want all of them for themselves.

It’s all about the coins that can be made off selling your dead family member,like Whitney Houston: Dead In Concert!

photo

So, to recap … two years ago Real Housewives of New York City‘s very own ex-Countess and wannabe singer Luann De Lesseps was arrested for trying to have sex in an empty hotel room and then attacking the police officers dispatched to haul her drunk ass to jail.

To avoid jail time. Luann agreed to go to rehab, and, to be fair, she did complete that stint, only to be released and start a new life as ex-con, ex-countess, ex-drunk cabaret star Luann De Lesseps.

But then she had a relapse and was sent back to rehab where she stayed for less than three weeks before leaving to take her act—whatever that is—on the road.

And that brings us to her third strike; Luann recently violated her probation by admitting to her parole officer that she’d had some cocktails after one of her recent “shows”. She says she just had mimosas, which aren’t really drinks, unless you’re a three-time arrestee who can’t stay sober for more than a few months at a time.

And the judge who heard her sob story was all, Sorry, bitch, and put her in handcuffs. Luckily, she wasn’t taken to jail, but  she was hit with more conditions added to her probation …

She will have a breathalyzer in her car, making it impossible for her to drive drunk, for which America thanks the judge; she will be getting weekly telephone counseling sessions, for which she cannot use the bartender at the nearest Red Lobster; she will have monthly in-person meetings with a psychiatrist; and she must start taking the prescription drug Antabuse, which treats alcoholism by giving Luann the effects of a very severe hangover should have even one drink … including a mimosa.

Luann’s representative, which may or may not be one of her drinking buddy backup dancers, told the media:

“She looks forward to completing the last couple months of probation and putting this entire situation behind her and moving on with her life.”

Funny, that’s what she said the first time she got arrested, and then when she went to rehab, and then when she fell off the wagon and went to rehab again.

It’s the same old song. Hey, maybe she could find a spot for that in her cabaret act?

photo

Boy George is a bit of a diva, though nowhere near Wu-level diva-ness, but … as a judge on The Voice Australia one contestant got under the Boy’s skin and he was off … literally.

During the blind auditions 20-year-old Daniel Shaw sang Beneath Your Beautiful while playing the piano, and it made all four judges—Kelly Rowland, Guy Sebastian, Delta Goodrem, and Boy George—turn their chairs and hope he’d pick them. Boy George asked if Daniel played guitar, and Daniel replied:

“I can play guitar, but no one really cares if I play guitar.”

Now, there was a touch of rudeness there, and Boy wasn’t having it. He asked:

“No one cares?” 

When Daniel shook his head, Boy George said:

“I do.”

Then he suggested Daniel pick any other judge, grabbed his phone and left the building!

Of course, though, because there's a contract and a check involved, the Boy came back and claimed he’d misheard Daniel.

“I just misheard what was said, and I just went, you know when you go in the moment? I am kind of fine now and I’m a bit embarrassed. I’m cool, I’m not annoyed, I was just annoyed in the moment. I’ve got to go and find somewhere not to be embarrassed. I’ll have to be tied to my seat.”

Now, to be fair, that’s not high gossip, because he came back, but it does give me a moment to share my favorite Boy George story: years ago, during the height of Culture Club realness, Boy was in Japan doing a photo shoot. After they put him in his wardrobe, he announced that he didn’t like the pants because they reminded him of a cheap hotel …

"No ballroom."

Get it?

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

The one good thing about Dina Lohan getting Catfish’d on national TV by longtime, unseen boyfriend-cum-fiancé, Jesse Nadler, is that it’s brought the Lohan’s back together. Dina’s first ex-husband, Michael, spoke out in support of Dina and her new man, and now Lindsay is speaking … because she knows a hot mess and a publicity op when she sees one.

Lindsay took to Instagram to congratulate Dina for her “performance” on Celebrity Big Brother—even though she lost to “celebrity” Tamar Braxton—but then Lindsay took on CBS for the way they treated Dina during the show … and then suddenly deleted the post; perhaps she’s looking to be the next houseguest on that idiotic show? Luckily, the internet lives on when people post and repost and share, so here goes …

“Finally #family @alianalohan #free @cbs_bigbrother you suck and get no Valentine’s from @lohanbeachclub @mtv. My mother is an AMAZING woman and she did so well. The secrets she told me a few hours ago are going to #EXPOSE #YOUALL #dinalohan #dfwm.”

Is she trying to support her mother, or her Vanderpump Rules knockoff show on MTV that is used mainly as a test pattern during the network’s off hours? I mean, the only thing Lindsay Lohan has ever exposed are her titties, her “firecrotch”, and her penchant for jewel theft, driving drunk, and bar fights.

Take a seat, Lohan, under the bar where you belong.

PS That’s an old photo of the Lohan’s, but since they will always be hot messes, I thought I’d resurrect it.

photo

Last week we learned that an unnamed male friend of Miranda Lambert’s got into a shouting match in a restaurant bathroom which caused Miranda to toss a salad, literally, not figuratively, on an unsuspecting woman. And this week we learned that the unnamed man is none other than Miranda’s next ex-husband, and self-professed ‘hot cop’, Brendan McLoughlin, whom she married on the fly in January.

This is all nothing new for Miranda because, remember, in February 2018, Miranda dumped Anderson East, her Blake Shelton jump-off, after several years together. Not bad, but this is also the month she began touring with Evan Felker. In April, Miranda and the married Evan Felker, profess their love for one another and Miranda ALLEGEDLY begins stalking Evan’s not-yet-ex-wife Staci on social media.

In August, Miranda and Evan seem to be drifting apart because Evan is friendly with the wife he left to get with Miranda, and just as the Felker’s divorce comes though, Miranda dumps Even because he “broke her rules.” Rules about staying friends with your ex? After a dry spell of about eight weeks, Miranda meets and falls in love with Officer Brendan McLoughlin, who has his own baggage because … in November Officer Brendan McLoughlin becomes a first-time father … with a woman he cheated on his fiancé with, while the fiancé was out of town.

Let’s get this queer … shortly after dumping Evan, Miranda met, hooked up with, and fell in love with daddy-to-be Brendan McLoughlin who left his Baby Mama, and his fiancé for Lambert.

It seriously seems that Miranda Lambert has never seen a home she didn’t want to wreck and didn’t fall for guys who were in the same frame of mind.

photo

You’d almost feel sorry for Khloe Kardastrophe if you hadn’t seen this coming a thousand miles away, but …

Khloe’s baby daddy, basketballer Tristan Thompson, who cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with Khloe, and then dumped that girl for Khloe, got her pregnant and then cheated on her while she was pregnant, has ALLEGEDLY been dribbling his balls on the court belonging to Jordyn Woods, not only a former model for Khloe’s clothing line, but also a BFF of sister Kylie.

Seriously, you can’t write this shiz up, but you know That Woman is looking for a way to film it for E! before Miranda and Brendan sell their story to Lifetime.

And that was the straw that ended their relationship; not that Khloe knew Tristan was a cheater when she met him, because he was cheating on his pregnant girlfriend with her, and not because he cheated on pregnant Khloe, but because he cheated with a friend of Kylie’s and, what amounts to, one of Khloe’s employees.

Set the cameras up for A Very Special Episode of Keeping Up With the Kardastrophes, where Khloe learns what the rest of the world knew a few years ago … Tristan cheats.

As for Jordyn Woods … apparently, none of the Kardastrophe-Jenner’s are following her on social media anymore; the ultimate burn.

photo

Remember when we talked about the doctor suing Gwyneth Paltrow for snowplowing into him on the ski slopes?

Well, she is outraged! Outraged, I tells ya, and she is counter-suing Dr. Terry Sanderson, claiming he skied into her and she should know because she basically invented skiing just before she invented yoga. And she wants coins in retribution … four quarters, or ten dimes, or twenty nickels or one hundred pennies …or just a crisp dollar bill. Yes, Gwynnie wants a dollar, y’all.

In the suit, Gwyneth claims that on the day in question—three years ago—she was, in fact, skiing at the Deer Valley Resort in Utah and was “on one of the easier runs … making ‘short turns’” when the incident occurred. Gwyneth has the resort’s incident report which states Sanderson “took her out from behind” which I hear is how she likes it, but that’s another post for another day. She claims Sanderson says in the report that “she appeared right in front of him, thus admitting he was the uphill skier.”

Sanderson maintains Gwyneth was out of control and hit him from behind, which might be how he likes it, and says he suffered several injuries.

Gwyneth claims that Sanderson told the ski patrol at the time that everything was fine, but now he wants $3 million plus a slew of damages; and she’s only asking for a dollar because she’s never actually seen such a small denomination and she wants it lacquered to a jade egg she can hold in her vagina while she chants.

Or something.

photo 1, 2

It's Snarkurday!

Look, I’ll just say it … Judge Judy is worth every single penny of the $47 million a year she makes. And now the Los Angeles Superior Court has agreed that Scheindlin’s salary is appropriate.

Judge Judy, the highest paid person in television, was named in a lawsuit brought against CBS by Rebel Entertainment who claimed that by CBS paying Judy that many coins was part of a plan to deny Rebel Entertainment their share of profit participation; Rebel was the talent agency that “originally packaged Judge Judy in the 1990s.”

Rebel Entertainment Partners asserted that it was entitled to a 5% share of net profits, but accounting statements seem to prove that the syndicated show runs at a deficit largely because Sheindlin’s salary was deducted as an expense. Rebel claimed that when CBS doubled Judge Judy’s salary a decade ago, it set fire to their profits.

I can hear her say it now …

“They don’t pay me $47 million, cuz I’m gorgeous, they pay me that because I’m smart.”

And deserves every penny.

photo

Russell Crowe’s divorce from Danielle Spencer, his wife of nine years, is close to being finalized., so he is celebrating by having a Divorce Sale through Sotheby’s Australia.

One item that was sold, for$7,000, was a leather jockstrap … from Russell’s nights at The Stud?

Sadly, no, it was part of a costume he wore in Cinderella Man, when he was younger and hotter.

Still seven grand for a used jock? In a tweet, Russell claimed that the collection, entitled “The Art of Divorce,” netted him $3.7 million in five hours.

It’s not Judge Judy money, but it’s nice, right?

photo 1, photo 2

John Barrowman—Dr. Who, Torchwood, Arrow and The Flash—is a hot, gay, sexy, nerdy, and a giver. And he doesn’t like anyone chastising him for his charity; are you listening West Hollywood Target store?

Barrowman, as he announced on social media, bought a “$40 gift certificate, jacket and shirt for a homeless man at the Target store located at 7100 Santa Monica Blvd” and was then lectured by Target staff who told him he shouldn’t buy anything for the homeless man:

“I am disgusted by what I was told. Arrest me for trying to help someone. The stupidity behind that rule. I want an explanation. How dare you tell me, as a customer, who I am allowed to buy for and what I am allowed to buy?”

Barrowman also noted that the people in line behind him thought his being admonished for caring about his fellow man was “ridiculous, also”:

“That gentleman needed help, a little bit of help to get him up, to make his day a little better, and Target you were trying to deny that. So I’m a little pissed off with you right now.”

Target heard of the kerfuffle and released an apology:

 “We’re very sorry for the experience you had at the LA Target store. We absolutely do not have a policy against this type of purchase, and are addressing it immediately with the team members involved. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.”

Bringing it to their attention? Since when does a store get to dictate for whom you are buying things?

Oh Tar-jhay, I am embarrassed for you.

Oh John, you are now even hotter in my mind.

photo

A couple of weeks ago, we talk about Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s daughter, Blue Ivy, being allowed to bid for art aat an auction; the child actually purchased apiece of art for several thousand dollars.

Now we find out that Blue Ivy has her own stylist … at age six. While most girls her age are dressed by their mothers, Blue Ivy’s mom don’t play that, and hired Manuel Mendez, her former personal assistant, to dress and style her child.

And he’s been doing it since Blue Ivy was 20 months old.

Seriously; that whole family is out of touch and raising a child who will be utterly helpless, not know the value of a daughter and be incapable of dressing herself.

Damn my mother and father for making me tie my own shoes!

photo

This is a mess.

Khloe Kardastrophe is expected to pop any day now with the bay she made with basketball player, and playa, Tristan Thompson. And then Thompson was outed, with video proof no less, as a serial cheater. And Kardastrope is in Cleveland, his hometown, awaiting the birth and is too far along to travel.

As the ALLEGATIONS that Tristan Thompson cheated, with more than one woman, and more than one woman at a time, on Kardastrophe, a source for the family—and you just know it’s That Woman—said:

“[This] has been a long time coming.”

Thompson was spotted spending Saturday night cozying up to a  brunette at the PH-D Lounge New York, with video of the duo entering his hotel at 5AM.There is also footage of a night back in October 2017 that ALLEGEDLY shows Thompson kissing one woman while a different woman gropes him.

That Woman The source says:

“Tristan has been consistently cheating on Khloé. He’s a serial cheater. And there will be more women to come out of the woodwork. First Lamar cheated on her and now Tristan. She’s been through so much.”

Look, do I feel bad for her? Kind of; but she picked him …and he left his pregnant girlfriend for her, so … and you just know this will turn into a Very Special Episode of Taking Out The Trash Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes.

And that’ll be a mess, too.

photo