This Bitch: Greg Abbott

Texas Asshat Governor Greg Abbott is asking the federal government for help adding COVID-19 testing sites in some of the state’s largest counties, including Dallas and Tarrant. Abbott who has consistently downplayed COVID, masks, social distancing, testing and vaccinations, made his request as the highly contagious Omicron variant spread throughout the state:

“Detecting COVID-19 and preventing COVID-related hospitalizations are critical to our fight against this virus.”

I wonder what happened to all that 'Secessionist/Leave Us Alone/Civil War' bull shiz?

The Funny Papers

Ed Hall, Mike Smith, Mike Luckovich, Clay Bennett, Nick Anderson, Bruce Plante, Michael de Adder, Adam Zyglis, Darrin Bell, JD Crowe,

Bobservations

Y’all know Carlos set his Siri to speak like an English man; and y’all know Carlos has a Spanish accent. What you don’t know is the hilarity that ensues when Carlos asks Siri a question, as he did the other day, making a list of things he needed from the grocers:

“Hey Siri, make a note: two eight-ounce packages of Cream Cheese.”

And Siri responded:

“Twenty-eight ounces of Cream Cheese.”

That would’a been some cheesecake.

Later, Carlos asked Siri to set a time for 5PM, and Siri replied:

“Setting a timer for five minutes.”

But my favorite is the time Carlos asked Siri to read a text sent to Carlos in Spanish. The last word of the text was ‘Gracias,’ and Siri read it as ‘Gracious.’

It’s like Abbott and Costello with those two.

An unvaccinated Houston man is perhaps the first recorded fatality of the Omicron variant in this country. 

It’s like Christmas came early … Texas GOP Attorney General Ken Paxton has been one of Thing 45’s most rabid allies in spreading The Big Lie. Paxton created a team of lawyers to prove voter fraud in Texas, working over 20,000 hours between October 2020 and September 2021 and spending $2.2 million,  and closing three cases.

All cases in which a Republican voted twice.

Carlos and I don’t really buy each other a lot of Christmas gifts because, when we want something we get it. So, we usually do something like a weekend away, or buying something for the house. But there’s always a couple of little goodies I find for him, even though he says he doesn’t want or need anything.

This morning, Thursday morning, two days before Christmas, he says:

“I know something you can get me for Christmas.”

“What? A husband who asks for Christmas gifts before the 23^rd of December?”

Bless his heart.

If you didn’t think the GOP was owned by Thing 45 think about this: the Republican Party has agreed to pay up to $1.6 million in legal bills for Thing 45 to help him fight investigations into his business practices in New York.

They aren't spending that money to help members of their party get elected, just to help a liar and thief and conman and traitor who lost the White House, the Senate and the House, pay his bills.

Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer has said the Senate will hold a vote early next year on the Build Back Better Act that would overhaul healthcare, education, climate, immigration and tax laws.

It probably won’t pass, thanks to Democrat Republican Joe Manchin, but it will get him on the record voting ‘No’ on a bill that his own state desperately needs,

Let him explain that to his constituents.

Due to his kidney issues, Tuxedo needs to go to the vet for blood and urine tests, Tuxedo was not in the mood to pee, so they gave us a litter box with sand and a urine retrieval syringe to take home to gather his pee.

Sunday night we put Tuxedo in one of the bathrooms with the litter box, a bowl of water, and his bed, and he settled down for the night. An hour later his meows started, though Tuxedo’s sounded like:

“OUT!!! OUT!!!”

Every few hours …

UPDATE: the results from Tuxedo’s bloodwork and urine analysis came back and his numbers are all normal, and he’s doing very well. He still has wobbly hind legs, but other than that he’s as delicious as ever.

Justice Joslin, a 34-year-old Nashville native, former football player turned model and actor, who looks good in and out of his briefs.

Would you hit it?

The Funny Papers

Marc Murphy, Darrin Bell, RJ Matson, Nick Anderson, Deb Milbrath, Clay Bennett, Kevin Siers, David Horsey, Bill Bramhall, John Cole, Mike Luckovich, Michael de Adder, Matt Wuerker, Chris Britt, Jack Ohman,

The Funny Papers

Nick Anderson, Drew Sheneman, Bill Bramhall, David Horsey, Deb Milbrath, Matt Wuerker, Matt Davies, Mike Luckovich, Adam Zyglis, Dave Whamond, Kevin Siers, Michael de Adder, Jack Ohman, Ann Telnaes, Clay Bennett,