It's Snarkurday!

Charlie Sheen is suing the Enquirer over their story that, on the set of 1986’s Lucas, then-19-year-old Charlie Sheen raped then-13-year-old Corey Haim.

It all broke when former actor Dominick Brascia told the Enquirer that Sheen was the predator hinted at in a Radar story that ran In September. Dominick—who has also been accused of molesting Haim—says Corey claimed Sheen coerced him into smoking weed and having anal sex. The Enquirer also claims that various “sources” told them that Corey wasn’t Charlie’s only alleged victim, and that Sheen inspired Corey’s subsequent drug abuse, which led to his early death at 38.

And so naturally, Charlie Sheen is the Enquirer and releasing this statement:

“In my nearly 35 years as a celebrated entertainer, I have been nothing shy of a forthright, noble and valiant courier of the truth. Consistently admitting and owning a laundry list of shortcomings, wrongdoings and indiscretions this traveler hath traveled — however, every man has a breaking point. … “These radically groundless and unfounded allegations end now. I now take a passionate stand against those who wish to even entertain the sick and twisted lies against me. GAME OVER.”

Sheen is suing the Enquirer, Enquirer executive Dylan Howard, and Dominick Brascia for “defamation and false light” and claiming that Dylan only published the story because the Enquirer couldn’t break the story that Sheen is HIV+.

It’s all icky; Sheen ALLEGEDLY raping Haim; other boys molesting Haim; Sheen’s pronouncement of how honorable a man he is.

Yeah, I think that’s the most insane part of the story.

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I wasn’t so surprised to see Dustin Hoffman “outed” as a sexual predator, groper, abuser. I’d read a story about how he treated Meryl Streep on the set of Kramer v Kramer and he’s a pig. But I was surprised, somewhat, at many women he abused physically, verbally and emotionally over the years, and how many women’s careers and lives were nearly ruined because of it.

Cases in point: Anna Graham Hunter was seventeen when she worked with Hoffman in 1985 and says Hoffman harassed her and assaulted her on a daily basis. And, in 1991, he did the same thing with playwright Wendy Riss Gatsiounis.

Last week, when John Oliver simply asked Hoffman for an explanation regarding what these women, and others, have said, Hoffman got pissy, defensive and claimed he’d never met Anna Graham Hunter.  And then he used his role in Tootsie as the reason he could never be a pig because he played the character onscreen and loves women and would never!

And yet now others have come forward, like Kathryn Rossetter, who costarred with Hoffman in Death of a Salesman on Broadway and on TV, who says she auditioned for Death of a Salesman because she admired Hoffman as an actor and was thrilled that he pushed for her to get the part. But, when rehearsals began, Hoffman got her into his hotel room and demanded a back rub; she says she gave him a “lame” back rub that ended when the maid interrupted them. When the play began, however, the harassment and assault intensified:

“Since they loved my laugh, it was decided that I would stand in the wings … and laugh on cue in a memory scene. … That scene led directly into the scene in the second act with Dustin and me in the hotel room and Biff walking in on us. My costume was a vintage slip, no bra, garter belt and stockings. The wing space was limited, so directly behind me was a chair where Dustin would sit … One night in Chicago, I felt his hand up under my slip on the inside of my thighs. I was completely surprised and tried to bat him away while watching the stage for my cues. After the show he was busy with the producer and director so I had no access to him to address it. It then happened almost every show. Six to eight shows a week … One night he actually started to stick his fingers inside me. … I withdrew and got depressed … How could the same man who fought to get me the job, who complimented my work, who essentially launched my career, who gave me the benefit of his wisdom as an actor, how could he also be this sexual power abuser?”

Perhaps because he felt a sense of ownership over a woman because he “helped’ or maybe it’s just because he’s a pig; at any rate …

“The groping continued. After the shows at parties, whenever he had a picture taken with me, he would put his arm around my rib cage and then grab my breast just before they snapped the picture and then remove it. He was very skilled at dropping his hand just as the picture snapped to avoid it being recorded. … Only by luck do I have one such picture — where the camera caught him in the act. A picture I had taken with hopes of sending it to my family. A millisecond in time. There I am — big smile and my arm moving toward his with the intention to push it away. But caught as it is, it seems I’m complicit with the gesture. I was not. Not ever.”

Rossetter says one night Hoffman told crew members he was going to assault her and they all gathered backstage to watch him pull down her slip and reveal her breasts.

Pig. But there may be revenge, in a way that would hurt an ego like Tiny Dustin the most; he has a new film coming out and there was … was … talk of an Oscar nomination. Maybe this story will stop that.

Again. Pig.

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More pig? Mario Batali.

It seems that Batali is “stepping away” from his empire, as well as ABC’s The Chew, on the heels of several allegations of sexual misconduct.

Four women have accused Batali of sexual harassment and assault spanning nearly 20 years; a female chef ALLEGES that a drunk Batali offered her a job, then groped her breasts; two other his female former employees have accused him of grabbing and groping them,; a third woman says he groped her breasts at a party.

Batali didn’t deny the allegations, but said:

“I apologize to the people I have mistreated and hurt. Although the identities of most of the individuals mentioned in these stories have not been revealed to me, much of the behavior described does, in fact, match up with ways I have acted. That behavior was wrong and there are no excuses. I take full responsibility and am deeply sorry for any pain, humiliation or discomfort I have caused to my peers, employees, customers, friends and family.”

Apparently, he’s desperate to save his “empire,” which may be difficult as more stories come out.

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Hannibal Buress made his mark in Miami last week, but not the way he would have liked, I’m guessing.

Buress, ALLEGEDLY red-eyed and booze-scented, was leaving an Art Basel event and asked a police officer to call him an Uber. When the cop refused, Buress ALLEGEDLY got “angry and belligerent”—and, perhaps, a little “Don’t you know who I am?”—but walked back inside the venue with the officer following.

The officer thought Buress too drunk to be inside, so he asked him several times to leave; finally, after Buress stepped outside the officer again told him … five times … to leave the area five times, and he declined, and began shrieking profanities, and was arrested.

A witness filmed his arrest, and Hannibal did not go peacefully; he demanded to know what he was being arrested for… um, smell your breath …and when he was told he was being collared for trespassing, he didn’t take kindly to that reason. So, the officers put his drunk ass in the car and added disorderly intoxication to the trespassing charge.

I really wanted to hear him say “Don’t you know who I am?’ So someone, anyone, might respond, “Tracey Morgan? Kevin Hart? My waiter at Carrabas?”

Then Buress would really go off. Still, he had his mugshot taken at Glamour Shots, or so it seems.

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So, Kevin Spacey. Before all the groping of young boys became news to everyone, Spacey was cast in a showy role in All The Money In The World.

But when the sexually assaulted boys began talking, Ridley Scoot, the director of the film, which was finished at the time, decided to spend $10 million reshooting all of Spacey’s scenes with Christopher Plummer taking over. Even other actors in the scenes, like Michelle Williams and Mark Wahlberg came back to the movie to film with Plummer, and this week … thanks to Karma … Christopher Plummer was nominated for a Golden globe for his part in the film.

Clearly, since the film won’t come out until Christmas Day, who else besides Scott and some editors saw Plummer’s performance? I mean, is he so great that he gets a nod for a film no one has seen, or is it clap-back at Spacey.

Yeah, clap-back.

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What’s the newest, bestest, fastest way to improve ratings for a morning show?

Maybe having one of your cohosts fired for being handsy.

Yup, NBC’s Today Show is riding a ratings tidal wave since Matt Lauer was canned for being a pervert an is even outperforming Good Morning America.

How long until ABC gets a scandal of its own? I wonder, because after Charlie Rose’s sexual assault allegations, the rating for CBS This Morning are still in the tank, so maybe it’s not the story but the fact that Matt Lauer’s smug face is off TV.

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I loved that they’ve rebooted Will & Grace this year, and I am mildly interested in the upcoming reboot of Roseanne, but there are some shows that, well, should never have appeared on a TV screen in the first place.

Blossom.

Blossom ran for five seasons on NBC and focused on the title character, a flowery hat wearing Blossom Russo, played by Mayim Bialik and her Dad, Ted Wass, and brothers Tony, Michael Stoyanov, and Joey, played by Joey Lawrence. And it’s Lawrence who’s been pushing for a reboot of the show, saying:

“There’s been serious talk about [a revival], believe it or not. Mayim and I have both said we’d be into it. We’ve talked to Don Reo about it, who created it. If there’s a way in, then I think we’re all down for it.”

Sure, Joey wants a Blossom reunion because what else is he doing? I mean, Mayim is appearing on a real hit show, Big Bang Theory and so does anyone think she’d give up that job for a second shot at Blossom?

The long and short answers are both ‘No.’

 Sorry Joey, take a seat.

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It's Snarkurday!

John Travolta and male masseurs; he just cannot shake the gossip that he loves being rubbed by, and rubbing on, male masseurs. And so why is that?

Well, maybe it’s his personal hotel rider that seems to keep the gossip alive because John Travolta will only be massaged by men, and John Travolta requires that hotel staff put aluminum foil and dark curtains to black out the windows, and john Travolta brings in his own sheets, and removes them when he goes, and John Travolta requires that whatever room he’ll be occupying be empty for a full day before he steps inside in order to avoid anyone else’s scent lingering behind.

Okay, well, I can get behind that scent thing because some folks just douse themselves with colognes and perfumes, but bringing his own sheets? Blacking out the windows? It’s like Johnny wants to protect and haul away the DNA evidence and keep anyone from watching him “do it.”

It appears that one Peter Sloane has boldly gone where no man has gone before … he’s suing William Shatner for $170 million because he says Captain Kirk is his Daddy, and he’d like Shatner to submit to a DNA test and cease claiming he isn’t Peter’s father.

Sloan claims that his birth mother, the late Canadian actress Kathy McNeil, had a brief affair with Shatner, gave birth to his son, then gave the child up for adoption when he was 5 days old. Shatner, naturally, denies Sloan is his son, and says it’s all about the money … and a boat-load of money it is.

But Slone won’t go away easily; he says he met Shatner back in his TJ Hooker days and that Shatner initially “admitted he was [Sloane’s] father.” But a week later, Sloan claims, he was contacted by Shatner’s people who said he would deny paternity and begged him not to go public because it “could be horrendous for [Shatner].”

Peter Sloane wasn’t deterred; he surprised Shatner at a meet-and-greet, he registered the Web domain petershatner.com and began a local CBS radio show under the name Peter Shatner; and that was when Shatner sent the lawyers after Peter who said:

“Bill ... confirmed to me once again that he is not your father. There have been many people over the years who have claimed to be his children … He is not interested in spending time discussing this issue with you.”

Then, Sloane ALLEGES, Shatner’s people shut down his Twitter feed and had IMDb Pro to take down a page about a movie he was working on. And so he wants, or needs, $170 million.

Beam me up some of that cash please.

Jeffrey Wenninger, a former security guard, claims, in a lawsuit no less, that while working for Elton John for twelve years, Elton repeatedly groped him.

In March 2014, Wenninger says that he was riding in a car with Elton when, he ALLEGES, the singer put his hands down Wenninger’s pants and “tried to force his fingers between [my] buttock cheeks.” He also says Elton tried to fondle his genitals “both over and under his clothing.” 

Then Elton said, “Get your todger out [and] say hello to Uncle Elton.”

Perhaps he was looking for Wenninger’s rocket, man?

A month after the incident in the car, Wenninger says Elton twisted his nipples while saying, “You have so many gay genes in you, they just haven’t met up yet.” And Wenninger says there were a lot more moments of groping and fondling by John before he decided to quit his job, though he never once reported any incidents of inappropriate behavior until now. Wenninger says he has suffered emotional, physical and mental pain and wants cash damages from Elton.

Elton John’s team has already hit back, calling Wenninger’s lawsuit as authentic as Elton’s “hair.” Ouch!

Columbus Short could’a been big. He was in the first season of Scandal but suddenly disappeared amid reports of a violet, knife-wielding past. Then he was in a bar fight in LA, sucker punched a guy and ran.

Well, it’s even messier. Columbus Short met Karrine Steffans last year while working on a movie together and two months later they were married. And now that marriage is apparently over because Columbus Short is an adulterer and Karrine Steffans ain’t playin’.

Karrine not only threw all of his sh*t out of their apartment, but she took pictures of the sh*t and posted them on Instagram, where she also started calling out his numerous mistresses. She even posted a picture of Short calmly sitting in the lobby of their building with all his sh*t scattered around, and then captioned it:

“Somebody come get @officialcshort cheating ass and all his sh-t. What about you @aida006…still want him? And @candicernb…you f–ked my husband…want him?” 

After that, she posted a video of the damage with the caption: “You okay @officialcshort?” with her voiceover: 

“Nobody has anything to say. Nobody has anything to f–ing say. You feeling OK, you feelin’ okay?”

Oh, Karrine, you went all Angela Bassett, Waiting To Exhale, on Columbus, but he had his own Tweets to spew:

“Just want to say....that it's unfortunate that way things end up. I felt truly that a woman gave me a home and a place to get my mind right …

“And a place to maturate gifts that I wasn't able to foster, without stability. I love Karin and her brilliantly talented son. But toxicity …

“Of any kind isn't healthy for anyone. I've been working hard to bring you guys quality movies, music and art. And that's exactly what will …

“Continue to happen. How could you not love a woman who took you in a broken place and allow you to heal. I'm thankful for the journey and …

“It ain't the first time I've been homeless. But will definitely be the last!! When it's all said and done stand strong stand tall and …

“Most of all UNBROKEN......If I'm still standing you have no excuse! #MoreThanConquerers.”

Lawdy, child, this man is delusional. I think Karrine might have dodged an actual bullet.

So, That Woman has been dating Corey Gamble for about a year and a half. He started out as a bodyguard-type — what, she thought she was Whitney — and then That Woman basically hired him to be her on-screen love interest and general “handler” to those kids.

And it’s apparently not a secret that Corey cashes a check to be That Woman’s man and babysitter. Because a source, and it might be the one Kardastrophe who doesn’t really have a job, says:

“Corey’s given a stipend [by That Woman] to help look after her kids and make sure they are OK when they go out. He’s essentially an employee.”

And true to Job Description, Gamble was spotted escorting the Kardashian girls — and not That Woman — to Hollywood eatery; he was also included in the family’s Easter Sunday celebrations but that’s just because he pledged his loyalty, in return for coins.

Hmmm, would That Woman pay a man to be her, um, date, and to watch her kids?

That’s a rhetorical question.

So, Vanity Fair recently published a story about the making of Kramer vs. Kramer — part of Michael Schulman’s upcoming biography about acting legend Meryl Streep titled Her Again: Becoming Meryl Streep.

And apparently Kramer vs. Kramer, which resulted in Meryl’s first of 10,000 Oscars was a nightmare, mostly due to Little Man Dustin … Hoffman, that is.

According to Schulman, Hoffman was so serious about his role in Kramer vs. Kramer that he even had their “pretend” apartment redesigned because he said his character wouldn’t live there. But then Hoffman took method acting to the Nth degree by actually slapping Meryl Streep on the second day of shooting so it would appear more real.

On the second day of shooting, as Hoffman’s character Ted follows his hysterical wife Joanna, Dustin slapped Meryl hard across the cheek, leaving a red mark. But Meryl The Legend took the slap, used it in the scene, and took home Oscar gold for it.

But Hoffman’s on-set assholery wasn’t limited to slaps; he also continually made fun and light of the fact that Meryl’s boyfriend at the time, John Cazale, had cancer and died right before filming started. He would taunt Meryl about Cazale, jabbing her with remarks about his cancer and his death and claims it was all so she could bring that anger to her performance. And he improvised a scene by smashing a wine glass on a table, sending shards of glass into Meryl’s face and hair.

Look, Little Man, Meryl Streep is a legend and she has more Oscar Gold than you have Oscar Mayer.

Hoffman should’ve been seeing a doctor about his LMS … Little Man Syndrome.

So Lamar Odom, fresh from the hospital after his drugs and whores weekend in Las Vegas, recently appeared with this wife — no divorce yet — Khloe Kardastrophe on the family’s annual Easter Sunday paparazzi stroll.

But he got himself liquored up first.

Do I blame him? Not really, I’d have to be totally sh*tfaced to appear in public with That Family, too.

And it probably helped to be three sheets to the wind in case the Kardastrophe’s spontaneously combust by going into a church.

Drunks can scramble …

Last week, Justin Bieber announced that he would no longer be doing meet-and-greets with his fans—fans, plural, giggle—after his concerts because he found them draining.

What? The meet-and-greets? Or the fans?

Anyway, it’s a Who Cares moment except that some fans have already paid for meet and greets … some paying $2000 to Meet The Twerp … so what to do, what to do …

Well, despite Justin’s cancelling the event, fans were unable to get refunds without also forfeiting their tickets to his show, and then those that did attend the show went backstage to have their picture taken with a cardboard cutout of Bieber.

Well, at least the conversation would have been more thrilling except … Bieber skipped the meet-and-greet with fans because it’s too hard but did make way for celebrities and their families, like Wayne Gretzky, his wife and their daughter, to meet him.

So, it’s not the meeting of the fans, it’s meeting regular people fans?