The Funny Papers

Dave Whamond, Michael de Adder, Max Espinoza, Nick Anderson, Benjamin Slyngstad, Clay Bennett, David Horsey, Gary Huck, Tim Campbell, Drew Sheneman, RJ Matson,

Bobservations

First off, thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. Tuesday was the day of my birth, but the celebration is a weeklong event. Carlos gifted me a day to myself on Tuesday as he had a conference to attend in Columbia and we will celebrate with a meal at one of our favorite restaurants in Asheville this weekend IF it doesn’t snow as predicted; in that case we’ll dine closer to home … 

So this past weekend we waited for The Storm. They said snow on Saturday with sub-freezing temperatures and then an ice storm on Sunday taking out trees and knocking out power.

Yeah; not so much. We got about an inch of snow that was gone before noon and then ice storm apparently melted before it arrived but …

On Sunday it was quite cold and Carlos decided to practice his trumpet in the sunroom with two of the four sliders open to the 20-degree air.

This from the man who drops an F-bomb every morning that the temperature is 35-degrees or less.

This from the man who sleeps under five blankets while wearing three pairs of socks, long underwear, sweatpants and a sweater.

But standing in a 20-degree sunroom? Now it was my turn for the F-bombs!

This Tuxedo Says is from August 2021 ...

Tuxedo watches a lot of CNN—like his daddy he has a wee crush on Anderson Cooper, whom he calls his Owner-In-My-Head … where does he come up with these things—and is amazed at the way Republicans think …or don’t actually think.

While we must remember Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti, ICE agents have also been responsible for the deaths of seven people of color since the first on the year.

Top Row, left to right:

Keith Porter Jr. was fatally shot by an off-duty ICE agent on New Year’s Eve outside his apartment complex. An LAPD spokesperson said Porter had fired gunshots into the air and a DHS spokesperson said the off-duty ICEstapo officer was “forced to defensively use his weapon” but offers no evidence to support that.

Parady La, Cambodian refugee, died while being held in ICEstapo custody at the Federal Detention Center in Philadelphia. He passed away after suffering severe drug withdrawal, with his family alleging medical neglect. 

Heber Sanchez Domínguez, a Mexican citizen, died while in ICEstapo custody at the Robert A. Deyton Detention Center in Georgia. The cause of death is currently under investigation. 

Victor Manuel Diaz, from Nicaragua, died in ICEstapo custody at Camp East Montana in El Paso, Texas. DHS says Diaz died of a presumed suicide but  the official cause of his death remains under investigation.

Bottom Row, left to right:

Luis Beltran Yanez-Cruz, from Honduras, died while under the custody of the ICEstapo after suffering a heart-related medical issue; his death is also under investigation.

Luis Gustavo Nunez Caceres, a Honduran citizen, died in ICEstapo custody in Texas of “complications related to congenital heart failure.”

Geraldo Lunas Campos, from Cuba,  died in custody at the ICEstapo detention center in Camp East Montana; the cause of death was "asphyxia due to neck and torso compression."

Last year, 32 people died in ICE custody, the most in a single year since the agency was created. 

Add their names to your rage.

Ticket sales for Amazon’s $40,000,000 documentary about the Slovenian Hooker’s return to the White have been, well, much like her husband’s penis, little and soft. According to one of Britain’s biggest cinema operators, Tim Richards, chief executive of Vue, just two tickets have been booked for the 6pm showing at Vue Islington on its opening evening.

Perhaps if Melanie had included her soft-core porn film as part of the documentary she might have sold three tickets.

The “No Kings” protests against the regime are returning March 28, this time with a flagship event in the Minneapolis on the heels of the ICEstapo murders on Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti.

Other demonstrations are expected again across the country.

Stand up; speak up; resist!

Thanks to Doc Heroin Addict the measles epidemic in South Carolina has spread to at least 789 people, surpassing the 2025 West Texas outbreak that sickened 762 people and killed two young girls. The majority of cases remain centered in Spartanburg County, mostly among people who were either unvaccinated or didn’t know their status.

South Carolina has long strived to be the best at something but who would have guessed it would be measles?

Good, fun news, because it has MAGAts in a giant snit, a rumor has it that Bad Bunny will wear a dress during his upcoming Super Bowl performance. And MAGAts are already ranting and raging all over X even though the story has not been substantiated.

Either way, I like the white, but the pink looks more fun, don’t you think?

Jhona Burjack is a model represented by agencies in New York, Los Angeles, Sydney, Hamburg, and São Paulo. It’s like he’s everywhere so … Would You Hit It?

The Funny Papers

Marc Murphy, Jesse Duquette, Matt Davies, RJ Matson, Max Espinoza, Michael de Adder, Lalo Alcaraz, Gary Huck, Daniel Boris

Bobservations

Our contractor stopped by this week to discuss the kitchen and bring the bill for the work on removing the skylights and replacing the ceiling in the sunroom, and as we chatted we started talking about the cats. I said I wanted another cat and Craig said:

“I don’t know. Carlos’ face says something else.”

“Well, you remember Tuxedo, right?”

“Yeah, he always came out to check my work when I was here.”

“I saw a Tuxedo on the front walk and then he disappeared and I haven’t seen him since. I think our Tuxedo was here telling us to get another cat.”

“But you have two now, and you’re gonna want three?”

I smirked a little and  said to Carlos:

“Tell Craig how many cats you had when I first moved to Miami.”

“I had a few.”

“TELL HIM!”

“I had eight cats.”

Craig was shocked and then looked back at Carlos:

“Then I guess you can handle one more … or even six more.”

Carlos was stunned into silence.

This Tuxedo Says is from March 2021: It’s quite clear that Tuxedo was, and is, my favorite pet of all time; he and I thought exactly alike.

Keep this in mind as you listen to the lunatics … President Cankles is vaccinated, as are his kids … the CouchF*cker is vaccinated, as are his kids … every Senator who confirmed RFK Jr is vaccinated and so are their kids … even RFK Jr vaccinated his kids.

So ask yourself why they’re all vaccinated but they don’t think you should get the shot.

Clearly, I really, really like a rip-roaring game of musical cakes! Who’s up for it? It’s all about that base, about that base, tabout hat base, no treble ….

On Facebook this week people are calling RFK Jr’s wife, Cheryl Hines, The Marvelous Mrs. Measles and I am here for it.

To be fair, Hines disagrees with her husband but still she stays with the crazy.

Let this sink in … the GOP wants y'all to believe that twenty-two years ago the Democrats forged President Cankles signature on a birthday drawing to Jeffrey Epstein, then put that drawing into a leather binder and gave it back to Epstein, and then had it seized from Epstein during Cankles first term so they could bring it out during his second term.

Oh, and Cankles and all his minions in the Cult say that’s not his signature … you decide:

Democrat James Walkinshaw just won the Special Election for Virginia’s 11th Congressional District beating a Felon backed MAGAt by a landslide and gives the Democrats another vote to release the Epstein files.

The Resistance is real.

Ethan Vaughan is a model and an actor and quite young at twenty-five, but does age matter … if the question is Would You Hit It?

The Funny Papers

Ed Wexler, Nick Anderson,Marc Murphy,Morten Moreland, Jack Ohman,RJ Matson, Pedro X Molina,Michael de Adder, Max Espinoza, Gary Huck