Bobservations

Yesterday I woke up and, because it was still dark outside, noticed a flashing light. I looked over and saw Carlos’ alarm clock flashing 12:00 because clearly the power had gone out sometime during the night. I nudged him.

“Charlie [that’s a name his Aunt Gloria calls him, and so do I from time to time] Charlie? The power went out.”

He mutters, Uh oh, and I doze off again. But I hear him get up, and hear the shower running and about a half-hour later, I wake up. I stumbled to the kitchen and he says:

“The power went off last night.”

I say:

“I know, I woke you up and told you.”

“No. Max woke me up by crawling on top of me.”

“Maybe Max began crawling on top of you because I woke you up to tell you the power had gone out and you moved and woke him up.”

“I think you were dreaming.”

Yes, I dreamed the power went out and dreamed that I woke up and told Carlos about it, and then, miraculously, my dream came true.

I’m that good.

I’m hoping that my dream where Carlos listens when I speak will come true, too.

Oy.

I follow a page on Facebook about ‘What’s Going On …’ in our local area. People post questions about looking for a contractor, or someone to do some work; they advertise yard sales; they recommend businesses; and then there are others.

Some posts, I hate to say, are so illiterate, I literally have to read them out loud in what I call my toothless cousin-f**ker voice just see make sense of it; that gives me a laugh. But this week a woman posted about buying truck parts at an Auto Zone and the nice young black man that helped her carry them to her truck. I didn’t see the point in mentioning he was black as it had nothing to do with the story until she added:

“It was nice, him showing me the respect I deserve.”

Seriously; but then another woman posted:

“I know him, he helped me at the Piggly Wiggly.”

Now, the first women never mentioned the young man by name, which caused me to think that, if you took these people at their word, there is one, just one, nice young black man in Smallville who runs around helping white women—and you know they’re white women because of their FB profile photo—and giving them respect.

Oy. But then …

Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw, a 32-year-old Bluffton, South Carolina was caught speeding through a stop sign at over 60 miles per hour.

When stopped by police, Cutshaw was slurring her words and a breathalyzer showed her blood-alcohol level at .18 percent –well above the .06 legal limit. But Cutshaw said she shouldn’t be arrested because she is a "very clean, thoroughbred, white girl” and a cheerleader and a sorority girl who graduated from a "high accredited university" and because her partner's "a cop."

When officers asked what being a "white, clean girl" had to do with anything Cushaw replied:

"You're a cop, you should know what that means."

Cutshaw was arrested and jailed on charges including drunken driving, speeding, disregarding a stop sign, possession of drug paraphernalia, and marijuana possession and being a self-entitled white privileged girl.

Sorry, hon, add criminal to your list of accomplishments.

If you need proof that Mike Pence is a lying hypocritical tool, look no further than an article he wrote back in the 90s demanding Clinton resign for having an extramarital affair.

But cut to 2017 and he has no problem licking the boots of a serial adulterer.

Element TV Company, a South Carolina television maker, is laying off 126 of its 134 workers because of _____’s tariffs on imports from China.

That skeleton crew of eight employees will stick around in the hopes that the plant can reopen in three to six months.

_____; making America great again by helping 126 people lose their jobs.

Boy band singer, and openly gay, Lance Bass said he’s “heartbroken” after placing a bid to buy Brady Bunch house, and thinking he’d been the highest bidder, only to find that he wasn’t.

“Super excited to announce they accepted my offer on the #BradyBunch house last night!!! This is going to be a fun project!”

Then came this:

“Marcia Marcia Marcia!  Im feeling heartbroken today. As many of you may have heard, we placed the winning bid on the iconic Brady Bunch house—at least that’s what we were told. The agent representing the estate informed us we made the winning bid (which was WAY over the asking price) after the final deadline for all offers had passed—even writing up the “winning bid” for my team after informing me of the good news. Isn’t a deadline a deadline? This was a dream come true for me and I spent the night celebrating amongst friends, family, and fans alike. The next day, due to “unforeseen circumstances” the same agent informed us that there’s another Corporate Buyer (Hollywood studio) who wants the house at any cost. We were prepared to go even higher but totally discouraged by the sellers agent, they will outperform any bid with unlimited resources. How is this fair or legal?? How can I compete with a billion dollar corporate entity? I truly believe I was used to drive up the price of the home knowing very well that this corporation intended on making their offer and it’s not a good feeling. I feel used but most importantly I’m hurt and saddened by this highly questionable outcome. I just hope it is not demolished. Thanks for all the love and support. #CrushedDream #ShadyAF #DouglasElliman #ShadyBrady”

Lance believes he “was used to drive up the price of the home” as a “Corporate buyer” did make a bigger bid, and that buyer is HGTV, who it has purchased the home and plans to “return it to its ‘1970s glory’.”

Right. I’m seeing gray everywhere … and shiplap.

Oy! Again!

Todd Kincannon, the former head of South Carolina's Republican Party, was arrested last week after he choked, stabbed, and mutilated his mother's 10-year-old beagle at her Greenville county home. Upon his arrest, Kincannon said he killed the dog because:

"I'm the second coming of Christ and I got a command from God to do it."

Officers who responded to the call say Kincannon came out of his parents' home in his underwear and covered in blood and dog hair and announced that “every 1,000 years there needs to be a sacrifice and blood must be spilt." He held up his arms to show what appeared to be dog bites and said:

"I have a sign. I'm about to get crucified in the media."

Yes, you are. And he will be charged with animal cruelty though there is no report that he will be taken in an evaluated for some sort of mental break.

I mean, this story, and the fact that in 2015, Kincannon was charged with criminal domestic violence after threatening to kill himself, his wife, and her family; in 2015, his law license was suspended following threatening emails he sent to people in connection with that arrest.

A grand jury indicted Kincannon on domestic violence and kidnapping charges last year but those charges are still pending.

Seriously? This man should have been locked a long time ago but, you know, Republican, South Carolina, domestic violence.

Now, for some fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-bulous news … the fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-bulous Jessica Lange is coming back American Horror Story: Apocalypse.

Makes perfect sense because this season is said to be a cross-over between Murder House and Coven, both of which starred Lange.

I.Am.Dying. Especially when it’s been confirmed the show had been renewed for two more seasons beyond Apocalypse.

Gosh, I love this … after Donald _____’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized—with a pick axe no less—the city of West Hollywood issued a resounding “Fuck You, Mr. President” and passed a unanimous resolution to remove the star from the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Sorry, not sorry.

We watched a couple of movies this weekend, the first being Trumbo, about the Hollywood blacklist of suspected Communists in the 40s and 50s. One of the people who helped to end the blacklist was actor Kirk Douglas who hired Dalton Trumbo to write the script for Spartacus and made sure he was given credit on screen.

The actor who played Douglas, Dean O’Gorman, top, just oozed sex appeal onscreen, especially in scenes as Spartacus in his little, er, not so little, leather jock strap.

We, or I, also watched Home Again, a tired Reese Witherspoon rom-com where she plays a forty-something woman who takes in three twenty-something young men and falls for one of them.

Sadly, she fell for the wrong one, because she didn’t fall the quirky, cute and sweet Jon Rudnitsky, bottom, who played George.

As Julie said in Pretty Woman, “Big mistake. Huge.”

Steaming hot or quirky cute ... I don't have a type.

A Trifecta of GOP Asshats ... And How They Think About Women

Y’all remember Arnold Schwarzenegger, right? From the big budget action films, for one; and from his time in office as Governor of California; and, lastly, as the man who cheated on his wife with the maid and had a baby with her.

Oh yeah, and it goes without saying he’s a Republican. I mean, he’s the stereotypical Republican. And even more so because of something he’s just done.

Back in 2003, Schwarzenegger requested the painter of his official portrait include his wife's, Maria Shriver’s, face in the painting.  And the artist obliged, creating a campaign button of sorts on Schwarzenegger’s lapel with Maria’s face on it.

Lovely, no?

Then, after leaving office the story broke of the maid schtupping and of the child he’d fathered with the help and, well, Maria, kicked Arnie to the curb. Oh, he begged for forgiveness; he publicly whined about wanting his wife back; he released this statement:

“After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago. I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.”

His feelings of sorrow must have abated because Schwarzenegger has decided to re-issue his official portrait to the public, with Shriver’s face erased and replaced by a smudge.

That’s what he thinks of his ex-wife; it’s what the GOP thinks of women.

Okay, Ray Rice. Yeah, he beat his girlfriend in the elevator and lost his job, and the NFL is still trying to spin itself out of this one. But this isn’t about the NFL, but another three letters, GOP, and specifically Todd Kincannon, the chairman of the Simpsonville, South Carolina Election Commission.

Yes. South Carolina.

After the Rice story broke, Kincannon released this Tweet:

Uh huh. But he wasn’t done because, well, he’s a member of the GOP and the GOP thinks very little about women, unless the woman wants to control her own body. See, in Todd Kincannon’s world, Ray Rice is the victim, and ever since the story broke Todd has been on a roll, making light of domestic violence, violence against women, and even his own significant other:

Indeed, while most of us are in shock by what we saw in that video, Todd Kincannon thinks the woman deserved it, and that’s it’s all a big joke. Even his own wife, Ashley, should be grateful that she was thoughtful enough to be thinking of him, lest she get a beat-down, too.

GOP.OMG.

Well, well, well, last week South Carolina’s own Appalachian-Trail-Hiking-Mistress-Schtupping-ex-governor-current-congressman has broken off his engagement to his mistress because … his ex-wife is mean.

Uh huh. Oh, and he announced it on Facebook, changing his status from “Adulterer” to “Single.”

In the long and rambling Facebook post, Sanford complained about his ex-wife making life too hard for him with an acrimonious divorce, and then lists the amounts of money and assets he gave to The Darling Jenny—and, yeah, that’s sarcasm there because she’s no peach—and says she has continually asked for so much more that he had to ditch the mistress that he so loved but had never married:

“Jenny had said at that time was that if she didn’t get those things we would go to court and just have another public spectacle. I found that idea haunting, and so I indeed folded all the cards and that brings us to today. “

And so his five-year-engagement to his thirteen-year-mistress, The Not-So-Darkling Maria Belen Chapur suffered because, well, he cheated on his wife and she was mad:

“No relationship can stand forever this tension of being forced to pick between the one you love and your own son or daughter, and for this reason Belen and I have decided to call off the engagement … Maybe there will be another chapter when waters calm with Jenny, but at this point the environment is not conducive to building anything given no one would want to be caught in the middle of what’s now happening.”

And Marky ends by saying he must rededicate himself to God for answers; yup, a good Christian, and a good Republican, whenever they cheat on their wives and then have to break it off with their mistress, always turns to God because …..

Luckily, most people who are friends with Sanford on Facebook — and that in itself leads to the question WHY??? — aren’t nearly as accepting of his sad, sob story about mean Jenny; here are just two of the best:

It just proves, again, and how many times do the people of South Carolina need to be kicked in the teeth by Mark Sanford, that he cares most about his own personal life and less about the duties of the job to which he was elected.

But hey, South Carolina Republicans, you voted him back into public office. How you feeling about that now?

Schwarzenegger

Kincannon
Sanford

Dueling Asshats Of The Week: You Make The Call

Sometimes we have an overflow of ISBL Asshat of the Week candidates but one seems just a tad more asshatted and he, or she, takes the crown, er, ball cap. But this week I’ve a bit of a conundrum; I’ve got two people that deserve to be called Asshat of the Week—and we could have a tie—but maybe y’all can help pick a winner.

Let’s begin …

I’m not a young gay — by any stretch of the imagination — and I am not, yet, an old gay, but, I remember when I was a wee queerling, back in the day, when some of The Gays would discuss wanting to be married; and this was in the days when the mere idea was a ludicrous one, there was no Massachusetts, no Iowa, no thing; The Gays didn’t get legally married anywhere, anytime, anyplace, ever.

And I remember some of The Gays who were adamantly opposed to marriage equality because they didn’t want The Gays to fall into the same kinds of categories as The Straights; being gay was outside the norm and some of us, er, them, didn’t want to be “normal.”

So, I kinda understood how they felt, and why they felt that way, but in the years in between then and now, I think many of The Gays have come to see that we want to be treated like everyone else; to have that choice; we want to marry, or not marry, like everyone else. And now I think that many of The Gays, who may not wish to fall into some kind of traditional set-up of spouse–and-spouse, still want the chance to choose that role for themselves.

So I was stunned, stunned I say — and I’m saying that like cartoon rooster Foghorn Leghorn ... Stunned! Stunned I say! — to hear about Hawaii State Representative, openly lesbian, and a Democrat, Jo Jordan voting against marriage equality in her state.

Yes, a gay woman has voted against the right to be treated equally under the law and she will forever be a footnote in LGBT History as the first known openly gay lawmaker to vote against marriage equality.

That’s sad, and bad, though the good news is that, despite her vote, Hawaiian lawmakers have approved Marriage Equality in the House, and now it goes back to the Senate for approval, and if passed — and I say if when it really looks like when — Governor Neil Abercrombie will sign it into law.

Jo Jordan said she set aside her personal beliefs when she listened to the five days of testimony — much of it anti-equality — during a joint committee hearing, and while she says that perhaps up to 75% of her constituents favor marriage equality she voted No.

And then muttered something about not everyone feeling like they have been given a chance to participate in the process which, I think, means she wants the majority to vote on the rights of the minority. I think she’s trying to play both sides against the middle so she can keep her job, and I hope the good people of Hawaii see through it and vote her out.

I mean, she’s gay, and she doesn’t want equality for The Gays; she says that three-quarters of Hawaiians want marriage equality but she wants everyone to be heard. It makes no sense to me. She makes no sense to me. She has said, since coming down against equality, that "Nobody's going to beat me up. Nobody's going to throw me out of my [LGBT] community."

Well, you’re right there, Jo. We can’t throw you out of the LGBT community but we can find your reasons, or lack of reasons, for voting against equality enough to hopefully throw you out of office, which is why I nominate you for ISBL Asshat of the week, unless ……

Y’all wanna go ahead and give the award to former South Carolina — dear God, why are there so many asshats in my state — Todd Kincannon who Tweeted this week:

Yes, camps. And I’m not thinking he means a fun summer camp with canoe races and bonfires, I suspect he means a Concentration Camp with barbed wire and ovens. But then, perhaps worried that he’s coming off a little too Adolf, as in Hitler, Kincannon then tried to walk back his remarks and say that transgendered people shouldn’t be in ‘camps,’ per se, but maybe a good mental institution’.

"I have plenty of compassion for trannies," Kincannon said, using a word that most of the LGBT community and anyone with a brain that fires on cylinders finds offensive. "They should all be locked up in mental institutions and their care paid for by the state."

So, naturally, the T in the LGBT community, as well as the L, G and B’s, and many straight folks, took umbrage with his remarks on Twitter and Kincannon kept stirring the pot:

"The trannies are still mad!"

Then he said that anyone and everyone who stood up for the transgendered community, anyone who called him out on his moronic, asshatted, stupid, homophobic, Nazi-esque stance were, in fact, "trannies" themselves, and then he went on to say that his special brand of hate was due to his knowledge — he knows this y’all — that transgendered people choose to be that way:

"Jews, brown people, and gays are born that way. It's okay to hate trannies because they choose trannyism. Just like Muslims."

And when some people asked that he respectfully stop using the word ‘tranny' — and also saying that he had a right to his opinion, mind you, no matter how vile — Kincannon responded thusly:

"How about 'dickchicks'? [or] disgusting goddamn weirdos that all normal people hate who need serious mental health treatment?"

"There is no sane heterosexual or homosexual man who enjoys 'dickchicks'."

"You freaks are about to legitimately creep me out. Good lord. You look like a nightmare."

"Gayness is not a mental illness, but wanting to exchange your junk for somebody else's sure as fuck is. Silence of the Lambs shit."

When some folks who follow him — and why are they following him, this man does not need a pulpit or a soapbox or a microphone — reminded him that there is an extremely high rate of suicide among the transgendered community he seemed to like that idea:

"[My reaction to suicide] depends on who it is that offs himself ... Tell me, if you were a suicidal 'dickchick' wouldn't you want to go to a mental institution instead of arguing with me on Twitter?"

The good news — and there is some — is that Todd Kincannon hasn't held political office in years, but the fact remains that he is still a figurehead within the GOP and this is the kind of person that holds power and sway within the party, which is why he is also a candidate for ISBL Asshat of the Week.

So, who will it be, the apparently self-loathing, Jo Jordan, who has voted away her chance at equality because, well, I don’t know why because she’s never said a concise and cogent thing about her vote, or the inexplicably vile Todd Kincannon. One’s a democrat, one’s a Republican, proving that asshattedness is clearly bipartisan. One's an anti-gay gay and one's a transphobic moron.

So who gets you vote … or do we make it a tie?