Snarky Thoughts

Oh these days there are so many ALLEGATIONS of sexual misconduct by the men in Hollywood, and all of their trials are happening now. Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, Scientologist Paul Haggis, and current Scientologist Danny Masterson will each have their days in court this fall. Bill Murray dodged a court date by ALLEGEDLY paying his accuser over $100,000.

My Thought: Court TV should really start streaming and they could make a bundle on these Perv Trials.

Spacey  Weinstein  Haggis  Masterson

The thirst continues … over the past couple of years, Madonna has let us know that she self-identifies as a 26-year-old, “sex obsessed“ woman who may or may not be a lesbian. Though she’s never shied away from letting it all hang out in a tub of soapy water recently Madge has become a wee bit shy about her sexuality, On TikTok—because that’s where are the young girls and old girls who act like young girls hang out—Madonna asked her followers to interpret the results of a complex series of events to determine if she was gay.

My Thought: Oh, she came out all right, as Thirsty and Irrelevant and Desperate and a little Sad.

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Kelly Ripa has written a memoir, Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories, to make some coins, and in the book she talks of her complicated relationship with her longtime co-worker Regis Philbin. Regis and Kelly hosted Live! with Regis and Kelly together for ten years And she says he teased her to no end, though in later years they had a great relationship. Cut to Kathie Lee Gifford has been crawling out of steerage on a Carnival cruise ship to stomp her foot and telling world that she will not read Kelly’s book.

My Thought: who asked her to read it? Who asks her anything these days?

Kelly  Kathie Lee

Caitlyn Jenner warned us, and now the Great State of California is losing one of its biggest assets with Mark Wahlberg joining the list of one-percenters leaving the state in their private jets for greener pastures; though in Mark’s case, he’s moving a few hundred miles into Nevada to, he says, make a better life for his children. No one knows if he loaded up the contents of his $90 million home into his $2 million fleet of automobiles and moved out of Beverly … Hills, that is, but we do know he moved to income-tax-free Nevada to build a “state-of-the-art studio,” shoe factory and a separate factory for his apparel company.

My Thought: Not for the children, but for the bank account, his true love.

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It's Snarkurday!

Anyone who watches The Real Housewives of New York knows that former besties Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel had a huge falling out in 2010 and stopped speaking. But this week, when Jill’s husband, Bobby Zarin, passed away, it looked like the fences would be mended.

On camera, at least.

Frankel was in Aspen when she learned of Bobby’s death and chartered a private jet to whisk her back to New York for the funeral, and she arrived just before the start of the ceremony. But Bethenny wasn’t alone; no, she had an entire camera crew from RHoNY following her … at … a … funeral. And even more pathetic, is that Jill Zarin knew they’d be filming at Bobby’s funeral and she was fine with it.

And, naturally, Bethenny Tweeted a photo of she and Jill holding hands:

“Today is a sad day with a silver lining. I laughed. I cried. I saw old faces & watched a family come together surrounding a loss. ‘I have a dream’ that Bobby’s death makes us realize what is important & treat each day as our last.”

Wow, she co-opted Martin Luther King.

Reality stars, like Frankel, and former reality stars like Jill, have zero shame.

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Oops; fashion photographers Bruce Weber and Mario Testino stand accused to sexual harassment of male models.

Last month, a male model named Jason Boyce sued Bruce Weber for ALLEGEDLY sexual harassing him during a photo shoot in 2014.  Since then, fifteen more models have come forward claiming Weber of asking them to join him in private clothing-free “breathing exercises” in which he would ALLEGEDLY guide their hands over his body and vice-versa.

Now, Mario Testino also stands accused of inappropriate behavior by thirteen male assistants and models going back as far as the mid-90s; accusations included subjecting them to unwanted sexual advances, groping, and masturbation. Two former Gucci models claim it was well-known that if you wanted to advance your career, you met with Mario for a nude shoot at the Chateau Marmont.

Weber released a statement:

“I’m completely shocked and saddened by the outrageous claims being made against me, which I absolutely deny.”

Testino’s lawyers also questioned the credibility of the models. You know, blame the victim.

Luckily, many in the fashion industry believe the models and have kicked Weber and Testino to the curb. In fact, brands Michael Kors and Stuart Weitzman both said they will not to work on future campaigns with Mario Testino, while Ralph Lauren, who frequently works with Bruce Weber, announced that they will not do business with anyone who “behaves in a way that compromises” their commitment to a safe work environment.

But best of all is that Anna “Nuclear” Wintour issued a statement denouncing sexual harassment and assault in the fashion world, and announcing Condé Nast would no longer be working with Mario Testino or Bruce Weber.

They pissed off Anna?

Bye Felicias!

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More sexual harassment stories? Matt Damon.

No, he hasn’t been accused by anyone, but when the stories and stories and stories began to break, Matt kinda wished these women wouldn’t talk so much about it.

Now Matt has had a change of tune … and when he was asked what he learned from the whole mess, he said:

“I really wish I’d listened a lot more before I weighed in on this. I think ultimately what it is for me is that I don’t want to further anybody’s pain. With anything that I do or say, so for that I’m really sorry.”

And then he added:

“I should get in the back seat and close my mouth for a while.”

Good on Matt for learning.

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Last week we learned that Mark Wahlberg was paid $1.5 million for ten days of reshoots for All the Money in the World while co-star Michelle Williams earned about a $1,000.

Michelle did the reshoots because she believed in the movie, because she didn’t want to be a nuisance, and because she wanted to “fix” the film after Ridley Scott decided to edit Kevin Spacey out.

Wahlberg just wanted more money and threatened to not do the reshoots if the coins weren’t served up to him; he didn’t care if the movie was saved, he didn’t care about Plummer’s recasting or any of that.

It was cash.

And when it was revealed that Wahlberg’s talent agency is the same agency that represents Williams, and that they screwed her over in favor of MarkyMark, suddenly Wahlberg looked like a greedy self-serving ass…because he is.

And so, after a week of people calling him a douchebag, Wahlberg announced he donate the$1.5 million to Time’s Up.

Oh, Mark, let’s all clap you on the back for doing the right thing, but not because you wanted to do the right thing, but because you were shamed into doing it.

Siddown.

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Selena Gomez’s mom loves to talk and kinda loves throwing her daughter under the bus:

Case in point: Selena recently worked with sexual pervert Woody Allen and when Selena’s mom, Mandy, was asked about that: 

“No one can make Selena do anything she doesn’t want to. I had a long talk with her about not working with [Woody Allen] and it didn’t click… She makes all her own decisions. No matter how hard you try to advise. It falls on deaf ears.”

Well, now Selena and her team want you to know that she donated her salary from the film to Time’s Up, okurrrrr?

After Timothée Chalamet and Rebecca Hall pledged to donate their salaries from Allen’s A Rainy Day in New York to Time’s Up, some fans criticized Gomez for not following suit, and so Gomez, who has yet to make a similar public stand against Allen, had a “source” announce that she “made a significant donation anonymously” to the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund that “far exceeded her salary for the film.”

Wait. What. She donated anonymously and then released a statement saying she donated?

Selena is trying to have it both ways – she wants to work on Woody Allen films, but not have to explain why she’s working with an accused predator, and then, of all the nerve, she wants to give herself credit for her anonymous, large donation to Time’s Up.

Bitch. Please.

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A little over three months ago, Jane Fonda appeared on Megyn Kelly’s NBC show and threw a shade face at the host for asking about her plastic surgery.

This week, Jane was on the second hour of Today with Lily Tomlin when she clocked Megyn who wasn’t even there!

Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie interviewed Jane and Lily Tomlin about the third season of Grace and Frankie and when Hoda brought up their friendship and wondered how long they had known one another, Lily looked at Jane and said:

“Oh my God… Before your first facelift.”

Jane snapped back:

“Who are you, Megyn Kelly?”

Lily countered:

“Oh, that’s right, I forgot she was the one!”

Both Hoda and Savannah tried to keep from laughing because Megyn Kelly was clearly nearby.

Still, good on Jane and Lily.

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It's Snarkurday!

You can’t keep a cougar down … Rumer, er, rumor has it that 55-year-old Demi Moore, who never met a young man she didn’t have to have, is shacking up with 25-year-old Nick Jonas.

It’s all on the DL, and the two meet at her friend’s downtown LA loft for their good times. Angeles loft because, for now, Demi doesn’t want y’all to know. But, ALLEGEDLY, it was Demi’s 29-year-old daughter, Rumer, who told Mama Cougar she had another younger man for her, according to a source, most likely Rumer herself:

“Rumer knows Demi is attracted to younger guys, and she figured that since Nick is single and has experience with older women, he’d be up for a love connection. They hit it off — and now Demi and Nick are hooking up.”

Demi was married to 16-years-younger Ashton Kutcher before he left her for the fat younger Mila Kunis; then she hooked up with 31-year-old rocker Sean Friday, 36-year-old Pink Taco owner Harry Morton—who also dated Demi’s daughter Rumer, and 31-year-old art dealer Vito Schnabel.

Nick is Demi’s youngest, so far, because her next boyfriend just graduated from seventh grade.

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Last year, two songwriters, Sean Hall and Nathan Butler, sued Taylor Swift for ALLEGEDLY ripping off the lyrics to “Shake It Off” from the 2001 3LW hit “Playas Gon’ Play.” Taylor, who loves to sue, but hates getting sued, tried to get a judge to throw the lawsuit out.

The two men say Taylor’s chorus of “Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate” was suspiciously similar to the chorus they wrote, “Playas they gonna play, and haters they gonna hate” and they wanted credit … coins … for their work.

And again, TayTay, who loves to earn her coins from suing over intellectual property is not in the mood to play play play … and her lawyers are arguing that the phrases “Players, they gonna play” and “Haters, they gonna hate” are too short to get legal protection on, and therefor they don’t belong to anybody.

Unless, you know, TayTay says she wrote them.

Swifty’s lawyers also argue that Sean and Nathan can’t monopolize the ideas of players playing and haters hating because there is only one person in the music industry capable of attempting to monopolize the act of hating, and that’s Taylor Swift.

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Paris Hilton recently got engaged to Leftovers actor Chris Zylka who ALLEGEDLY proposed with a $2 million ring.

Clearly, Paris is the one with the coins in this pairing so clearly she bought the ring, gave it to him for the proposal, and then flashed it all over social media.

But if you remember that Paris was once besties with Lindsay Lohan, who has a penchant for thievery, especially, of jewelry, it seems only fitting that Hilton has hired 24-7 security to guard her ring.

Hasn’t she heard of a safe? Doesn’t she know that Lohan is out of the country? Why didn’t she just let her fiancé buy the ring, and then, if it was stolen, you’d just have to shell out another $199 to Zale’s?

Just sayin’.

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Last week the women, and men, to be fair, wore black in solidarity of women and the sexual abuse they face, the discrimination they face, and the pay inequity they face, not just in Hollywood but everywhere.

Still this is Snark, so we’ll deal with Hollywood, and Ridley Scot’s film All the Money in the World. You’ll remember it co-starred Kevin Spacey until we learned what a creeper he was to young boys. Then Ridley cut Spacey from the film and replaced him with Christopher Plummer trouble was, the film was finished, so Scott asked some of the films co-stars, Nark Wahlberg and Michelle Williams, to come back and reshoot some of their scenes with Plummer.

And of course they’d get paid for their work … and therein lies the rub.

Rumor has it that while both are equally billed in film—even though Williams is getting raves and Wahlberg is not—and both returned to film for the same number of days—Mark Wahlberg was paid $1.5 million while Michelle Williams was given a check for … wait for it, it should really piss you off … about $80 per day, for a total of about $1,000.

Even worse, none of the other actors brought back in were paid, and even Ridley Scott, the director, wasn’t paid. But Wahlberg’s team of lawyers and agents and accounts negotiated that hefty fee.

Women in Hollywood might be wearing black every day especially given that Williams and Wahlberg are represented by the same agency and that agency worked a huge payout for their male client and basically no deal for their female client.

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The New York Times recently published an op-ed entitled “Publicly, We Say #MeToo. Privately, We Have Misgivings” written by Daphne Merkin, who feels that #MeToo will lead to the end of flirting.

Right?

In France, the movement is cause for great concern because many … many women … think flirting is life …and maybe flirting is coming out of your hotel bathroom naked and asking your employee for a handy … I guess.

A collective of about 100 French women signed an open letter published in Le Monde rejecting what it sees as a new puritanism in the wake of the sexual harassment and assault scandals:

“Rape is a crime. Insistently or awkwardly hitting on someone is not.”

And there were many women of note who signed on to this nonsense, like doctors and lawyers, female politicians, even Catherine Deneuve.

Um, ladies, no one is saying that flirting is out, but they’re saying that asking for a rubdown, exposing yourself, groping a woman, touching a woman, without her consent is no longer happening.

There’s a difference between a simple bit of flirtation and whipping your dick out and asking an employee to suck it.

Last time I checked that wasn’t flirting.

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Hugh Grant is going to be a dad for the fifth time at 57-years-old. This will be his third child with 35-year-old girlfriend Anna Eberstein; they already have a two-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son, but this is where it gets itchy …

Hugh had a “fleeting affair” with Tinglan Hong which resulted in a child being born in 2011; Hugh and Tinglan didn’t pan out and so then he met Anna and they had their first child in 2012.

Then Hugh and Tinglan got back together for the second half of their fleeting affair in 2013 and they had another child.

But, alas, that was over, and Hugh went back to Anna and they had a child together in 2015.

Now in 2018, he and Anna again are going to be parents.

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Disney always knows how to make coins. They make a feature length cartoon and make billions from that and then turn it into a Broadway show and then a live action film; they bag tons of money for the same project.

But Disney needs to learn a very simple lesson: blackface is over.

So far, Disney and Guy Ritchie are making a live-action version of Aladdin and took some heat for casting a non-Arab Princess Jasmine and then adding a new random white character to, you know, get white people in the seats. But this is too much …

There are accusations that Disney is making up extras to look more brown. The accusations come from a background actor named Kaushal Odedra who says when he arrived on-set he noticed an awful lot of white background actors. And then, a few hours later, those same white actors were suddenly brown:

“Aladdin was the perfect time to show diversity but also be accurate. They’re being out of touch with what’s going on around them.”

But Disney has an excuse … and it’s just about the lamest nonsensical POS I have ever heard:

“Great care was taken to put together one of the largest, most diverse casts ever seen on screen. Diversity of our cast and background performers was a requirement and only in a handful of instances when it was a matter of specialty skills, safety and control (special effects rigs, stunt performers and handling of animals) were crew made up to blend in.”

Oh, so they admit to using brown people as extras but when it comes to crew and animal handlers and the like, only white folks were available?

Try again Disney. When you making a film set in the Middle East about Middle Eastern people, why not, oh I don’t know, cast Middle Eastern actors in the parts. Except then the fear is that white people wouldn’t see the film and so there’s be fewer coins to be had.

Shame on you, Mouse House.

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Tonya Harding Is back y’all, and why we’re suddenly celebrating this criminal is beyond me.

But she’s the topic of a new film and so she’s being interviewed by everyone everywhere, though maybe some aren’t thrilled by the idea.

Like Piers Morgan of Good Morning Britain who wasn’t afraid to remind everyone that it’s really Nancy “WHYYYYYYYYY” Kerrigan who is the victim.

Piers kept trying to get Tonya to admit she was involved in the 1994 pipe attack on Nancy. Tonya’s ex-husband Jeff Gillooly said she knew all along of the conspiracy to take down Nancy and even Tonya said in her 2008 autobiography that she wanted to tell authorities about the pending assault but didn’t because Jeff threatened her life.

Still, Piers was having none of it:

“Maybe it suits you to play the victim. But I think the victim in all this wasn’t you. It was Nancy Kerrigan who had her Olympic dream shattered.”

But Tonya is delusional and has been playing the victim card for decades, so she will never admit that she planned it, knew about it, and wanted it done.

Girl, bye.

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We haven’t heard from Kanye in a while, not that I’m complaining, but here he is again, going after people for their fashion sense, even if he’s married to the perpetrator.

Apparently, Kim Kardastrophe revealed that she received an email from her husband … they don’t actually speak? … in which he put her on blast for her sunglasses:

“[Kanye] sent me a whole email like, ‘You cannot wear big glasses anymore. It’s all about tiny little glasses.’”

And instantly she was in tiny glasses because, you know, what Kanye says ….

Clearly, because now all the Kardastrophes are wearing tiny glasses like the Tiny Man ordered.

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Random Musings

Perhaps he can thank _____ for the boost in popularity ...

Colin Kaepernick, the former 49er’s quarterback who started the Take A Knee movement over police brutality against black Americans, has signed a book deal with Random House worth just over $1 million.

Too bad most _____ supporters can’t, or won’t, read, because then they might learn the truth of why Kaepernick took a knee in the first place.

Hint: it has nothing to do with troops, anthems or flags.

Do you think it’s because they’re gay?

The Washington Blade, the oldest LGBT newspaper in the country, find themselves getting shut out of questions at White House press briefings. Chris Johnson, the Blade’s White correspondent says:

“Many times during the briefings, I see Sanders look directly at me as I raise my hand for a question, but she nonetheless skips me for another reporter, usually from a conservative, Trump-friendly outlet like Breitbart or Newsmax.”

Oh, go figure a Huckabee doesn’t wanna talk to The Gays; go figure that a _____ White House prefers a Breitbart question over The Gays.

Go figure ...

Okay, so now that all the bodies are buried in Las Vegas, the National Rifle Association [NRA] is back, along with spokes-tool, Dana Loesch, to try and get more guns sold and more weapons on the street because, well, coins ... Dana, in a new ad for the NRA says:

"We are witnesses to the most ruthless attack on a president, and the people who voted for him, and the free system that allowed it to happen in American history ... their hateful defiance of his legitimacy is an insult to each of us."

Clearly, Dana Loesch and the NRA must have been out of the country during the eight years of Obama if they think calling this buffoon in the White House a buffoon is ruthless. But Loesch drones on:

"But the ultimate insult is that they think we’re so stupid that we’ll let them get away with it. These saboteurs, slashing away with their leaks and sneers, their phony accusations and gagging sanctimony, drive their daggers through the heart of our future, poisoning our belief that honest custody of our institutions will ever again be possible."

Huh; phony accusations like how a man was allowed to purchase thirty-plus weapons in the course of one year without being noticed; a man who was allowed to turn his weapons into rapid fire machine guns, you know, the better to kill innocent people at a concert.

This is the NRA standing on the bodies of dead Americans, children and adults, not because they want to protect the Second Amendment, which is in no danger of being repealed, but because they want to make more money off selling guns.

They should also see about getting a piece of the casket industry because they have a goal there, too.

Fuck off.

Mark Wahlberg has come out ... not, not like that ... and said that he prays God can forgive him for Boogie Nights:

“I just always hope that God is a movie fan and also forgiving, because I’ve made some poor choices in my past.”

Honey, I’d be less concerned about Boogie Nights and pray more that your God will forgive you for Daddy’s Home and Daddy’s Home 2.

Oh, and since we’re speaking of guns and how enraged we were after the shooting in Las Vegas, here’s a new number for you ....

In the three weeks since the massacre in Las Vegas, the worst mass shooting in modern American history, at least 2,545 people have been shot across America, 772 of them fatally.

But let’s talk about something else ... like how there have been more than 50,000 gun violence incidents in America so far in 2017.

Last week, Louisiana’s Caddo Parish Sheriff Steve Prator blasted the state’s Justice Reinvestment Package—bills that would reduce Louisiana’s prison population by 10 percent and save more than $260 million over the next decade by slowly releasing nonviolent offenders—because he wants to keep the “good” prisoners so they can do manual labor:

“In addition to the bad ones ... they’re releasing some good ones that we use every day to wash cars, to change oil in the cars, to cook in the kitchen, to do all that where we save money. Well, they’re going to let them out ― the ones that we use in work release programs.”

Yes, he suggests keeping the good prisoners so they can cook and clean and toil the fields for free while being locked up at night.

Huh; slavery say what?

This is rich ... according to a poll by NPR, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, and the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, a significant majority of white Americans ... WHITE AMERICANS ... feel they are the targets of discrimination.

Yup, 55% of white people surveyed believe discrimination against white people is an ongoing problem.

I got a question for you asshats, you WHITE asshats, who are feeling all discriminated against and shiz ... care to trade places with a black American, Muslim American, female American, gay American, Mexican American?

Don’t answer, that’s a rhetorical question. Now sit down until you can think of something intelligent to add.

God, this is why I hate white people.

Last January, right after Fox News booted Roger Ailes to the curb amid a sexual harassment scandal, the network’s top-rated host ... at that time ... Bill O’Reilly, struck a $32 million agreement with a longtime network analyst to settle new sexual harassment allegation.

Although the deal has not been previously made public, the Fox News’ parent company, 21st Century Fox, was aware of the victim’s complaints against O’Reilly, which included allegations of repeated harassment, a nonconsensual sexual relationship and the sending of gay pornography and other sexually explicit material to her.

This $32 million payout was at least the sixth agreement made by either O’Reilly or Fox News to settle harassment allegations.

And, even after that huge settlement against him, the very next month 21st Century Fox began contract negotiations with O’Reilly, and granted him a four-year extension that paid $25 million a year.

The easier to pay off your lawsuits, I guess.

In other O’Reilly news, the other day the sexual predator sent out this Tweet:

“Sean Hannity kicking serious butt in the ratings. Tapper on CNN as low as you can go.”:

And Tapper, who suffers no fools, especially the sexual predator type, Tweeted back:

“‘Low’ would be sexually harassing staffers and then getting fired for it—humiliated in front of the world. Now THAT would be low.”

Score Tapper!

Some Hot Mens from the TV ... Up top is Terrell Carter, who plays a gay attorney on Empire with a body that can stop time! Oh, and he can saaaang!

On the Bottom left, we have a returning Hottie in Alfonso Herrera, who plays hot Latino priest on The Exorcist. In the Middle is the totally adorable, but sadly straight, Brandon Kee, from this season of Project Runway; and on the Right is one Jason Ritter, who was called quirky cute in this week’s episode of Kevin Probably Saves The World. And quirky cute is a good kind of cute.

Just sayin’.