The Funny Papers

Mike Luckovich, Clay Bennett, Daniel Boris, Dennis Goris, Lalo Alcaraz, Chris Britt, John Cole, Nick Anderson,  S.G. Artley, Michael de Adder, Max Espinoza, Steve Brodner,

I Didn't Say It ...

Raphael Warnock, Democrat Senator from Georgia, on SCOTUS’ dismantling of the Voting Rights Act:

“The Voting Rights Act of 1965 is the crown jewel of the Civil Rights movement. Without it, I quite literally would not be standing here today in front of you as a voice in the United States Senate for the people of Georgia. This [Cankles] Supreme Court just threw out the protections that were earned by the Civil Rights movement, those who bled, who fought and who died, so that people might have a voice.”

Okay, for those of you who don’t think we need a Voting Rights Act any longer in America I have one simple question to ask you:

Would you want to be Black in America today? Or treated like a Black American? Given all we know about the way people of color are still treated in the United States, would you want to be Black?

And that’s why we need the Voting Rights Act, why we need to elect Democrats, why we need term limits on the court, why we need equality for all Americans.

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Gavin Newsom, California Democrat Governor, on the newest ridiculous indictment on James Comey:

“The day after he talked about a beach photo and an indictment of his enemies  he talked about his Kremlin ballroom. He’s not doing anything to try to unite this country. The biggest reflection of this moment is the sewer we’re living in because of [Cankles]. This guy is cosplaying as the Pope, as Jesus, putting his face on Mt. Rushmore. None of this is normal.”

Cankles truly believes that the more monuments he leaves behind the more history will portray him as a great leader.

But when all his gold-plated toilets and wall décor and ballrooms and arches and signs and shoes and Bibles are thrown onto the trash heap, that’s how we’ll think of him: trash heap.

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Hillary Clinton, former First Lady, former Secretary of State, former Senator from New York, on the dismantling of the Voting Rights Act:

“In the 24 hours since the Supreme Court’s majority ruled to demolish the Voting Rights Act’s remaining protections, Louisiana and Tennessee have already signaled they will redraw their congressional maps with the clear effect of shutting Black voters out. The Court’s decision overlooks reality for a self-serving right-wing fantasy and it will live in infamy.”

Still think it’d be no different being Black in America today when two states—and more will likely follow—heard that SCOTUS ruling and began the plan to make it more difficult for Black voters—and all voters of color—to be heard.

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Pope Leo, on Cankles’ baseless claims that the Pope supports Iran’s nuclear weapons program:

“I have already spoken from the first moment ‘Peace be with you.’ The mission of the Church is to preach the Gospel, to preach peace. If anyone wants to criticize me for proclaiming the Gospel, let them do so truthfully. The Church has spoken out against all nuclear weapons for years, so there is no doubt about that.”

Sad that Cankles wants to pick a fight with the Pope considering the Leo is educated man and Cankles can barely pick a giraffe out of a lineup.

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James Carville, Democratic strategist, political consultant and author, on that SCOTUS ruling:

“The only nine people in the entire fucking government that operates under no ethics rule. These sons of bitches were so political, so happy to help the Republican party any way they could. What they’re trying to do at every juncture they can is screw Black people as hard as they can.”

Now John  Roberts is trying to spin it that SCOTUS was not taking a political stance in gutting The Voting Rights Act.

Voting. Rights. Act. It doesn’t get simpler than that no matter how Roberts and his band of racists and self-loathing Black men try to spin it.

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The Funny Papers

Trevor Irvin, Clay Bennett, Benjamin Slyngstad, Dennis Goris, Max Espinoza, Phil Hands, Pedro X Molina, Tim Campbell, Nick Anderson, Chris Britt, Michael de Adder, Gary Huck, Ted Littleford,

I Didn't Say It ...

Mark Kelly, Democrat Senator from Arizona, on Cankles’ threat to bomb Iran's civilian infrastructure:

“If those words become orders to destroy civilian infrastructure with no valid military purpose, it’s hard to see how they would not violate the laws of armed conflict. America leads best with strength, discipline, and professionalism. Illegal orders to make civilians suffer would be a black mark on our military and our country. ‘A whole civilization will die tonight' are words no President of the United States had ever spoken until this morning. [His] behavior is unhinged and making Americans less safe. After a 25-year career in the United States Navy, I have never met or served with anyone who so completely lacks the qualities of good leadership as [Cankles] does. If the President takes the actions he has threatened to take, countless Iranian civilians will die, it will massively escalate this war, and the United States will be seen as a country without a moral or ethical compass. That will make Americans less safe right now and risk the lives of thousands of service members. The consequences will have a lasting and damaging effect on our nation. [His] mistakes have led us to this perilous moment, but the solution is not to escalate even further. This must stop."

And the best way to stop it is to have the GOP strap on their balls and stand up for America against the lunatic. But since that’s unlikely to happen with the spineless GOP, then then next best plan is to Vote Blue No Matter who in the midterms and if Cankles hasn’t destroyed the country and/or the world, then we can remove him from office, try and convict him, and lock him up.

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Jasmine Crockett, Democrat Representative from Texas, of the firing of incompetent women from the regime, but keeping the incompetent men:

“Well, first it was Kristi Noem, now it’s Pam Bondi … it would be too much … that Pete [Hegseth] be next. I see a theme. He will throw the incompetent women under the bus a lot faster than the incompetent men. Let’s just agree that America needs a ‘do over.’ The President nominated these awful people, the Republican-controlled Senate confirmed them, and well … too many people thought we should give this much power to the pussy grabbing, 6-times bankruptcy filing, 34 count convicted felon bestie of Epstein.”

Cankles will always sacrifice the women in favor of his buddies so, again, let’s get Democrats in office and impeach DUI Pete and get him locked up, too.

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Yassamin Ansari, Democrat Representative from Arizona, on introducing articles of impeachment against Secretary of War Crimes and DUI Hire Pete Hegseth:

“What we have seen out of [The Regime] over this weekend has been absolutely horrifying and gut-wrenching. The threats against Iranian civilian infrastructure and the entire country of Iran are unreal and apocalyptic. Today, [Cankles] said, quote, the entire country could be taken out in one night, and that night might be tomorrow night. That was his quote. Iran is a country of 90 million people. Threatening them with annihilation is a monstrous war crime and puts them and American service members and Americans at grave risk. It also only serves the interests of the Islamic Republic regime, further entrenching their power, providing them with a convenient boogeyman while punishing the civilian population. As a chief enabler of this illegal war, Pete Hegseth is responsible for directing this insane military action against Iran, which has already killed thousands of civilians, led to the unnecessary deaths of American service members and displaced over a million people in the region. That's why I'm introducing articles of impeachment against Hegseth for repeatedly violating his oath of office and the constitution, including the disregard of Congress and willful targeting of civilian infrastructure in Iran, like water desalination plants, like hospitals, like schools and bridges. As the top official in the Department of War, Pete Hegseth has the duty to comply with the laws, lead by example for other military officials, and uphold his commitment to the Constitution above all else. He has done none of that. Instead, he has trampled on the most fundamental principles upon which the United States was founded upon, including the separation of powers, congressional oversight, and respect for the rule of law. That's why I'm calling for Pete Hegseth's impeachment and removal from office immediately.”

Ansari  is the only Iranian-American in Congress and is standing for her Iranian people and her American people, protecting both from a drunk warmonger. Pete has often said he wants to “kill Muslims” and now he is getting his way and is firing our generals in order to increase his control over the military and ensure his loyalists hold top positions.

Hegseth is the real terror threat against this country and needs to be removed.

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Pope Leo, on Cankles’ threat to wipe out Iran's civilization:

"Today, as we all know, there was this threat against the entire ​people of Iran, and this is truly unacceptable. There are certainly issues of international law here, but even more, it is a moral question concerning the good of the people as a whole, in its entirety … I would invite the citizens of all the countries involved to contact the authorities, political leaders, congressmen, to ask them—tell them to work for peace and to reject war always. Attacks on civilian infrastructure is against international law ... it is also a sign of the hatred, the division, the destruction that the human being is capable of."

I am no fan of the Catholic Church which has long its demons free rein within the church, but I will stand with them against the idea of destroying an entire civilization that has done nothing to me, has not threatened me.

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Andy Beshear, Kentucky Democrat Governor, after SCOTUS struck down Colorado’s ban on "conversion therapy" for minors:

"The Supreme Court is absolutely wrong. Torture is never free speech. It’s just torture. And faith has been used at different times to try to justify torture, and it’s always, always been wrong. If [the court] is going to show people hate, a governor's there to show them love. If [the court] is there to show them judgment, a governor's there to show them acceptance. We should always be in the suicide prevention business. Never in the suicide causing business … We should always stand up for our convictions, and we should always push back against discrimination. I don't like bullies, and so I'm always going to push back. I believe all children are children of God and I don't want people out there picking on kids, especially kids that already feel marginalized or at higher risk for suicide. [The Bible] says, 'Love your neighbor as yourself, not love your neighbor, unless.' I see you. I care about you. I know this hurts, but there are people out there that support you and want to lift you up. You are not alone. We have to elect people that are against discrimination. We have to create a check on the [regime] because right now Congress is not doing its job … I'm going to continue to stand with our LGBTQ+ community until everyone's rights are recognized and this current discrimination, especially by the very top of our federal government, ends."

Beshear is putting it in the simplest terms where it can make the most sense. Listen and understand; you don’t have to ‘understand’ trans but you have to treat all people with respect.

It’s just that simple.

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Ain't That America XXXVII

A bit of good news this week as Cankles found himself smacked down by several courts, as Pammy Jo Bondi found herself smacked down from her boss, as Kristi Noem and her husband were smacked down by ginormous boobs, and the war that isn’t a war, that’s over but not over, that is killing more and more of our troops, raged on and will cost Americans childcare and healthcare among other things …

Due to his illegal war in Iran Cankles has decided the federal government can no longer take care of daycare, Medicaid, Medicare because, as he said:

“We have to take care of one thing: military protection.”

Cutting funds for Americans to continue to fight a war he says we already won?

 

Shortly after his rambling nonsensical speech the other night, telling us that Iran was basically obliterated, but then also saying the war goes on, the spot price for current physical cargoes of Brent crude oil soared to $141.36, the highest level since the 2008 financial crisis.

Making America Great Again.

 

Ten years ago last week, Cankles said he would pay off the national debt in the span of just eight years.

Didn’t happen because instead of paying it off he doubled it from $19 trillion to over $39 trillion and the bill will be due long after Cankles is gone.

 

ICEstapo agents will be stationed outside graduation events for the nation’s newest Marines to identify whether any of their family members are undocumented.

As the illegal war in Iran continues, the Marine Corps has begun requiring everyone to present REAL IDs, US passports or US birth certificates to access any sites.

Since undocumented immigrants are ineligible for federal REAL IDs and don’t have US passports or birth certificates they will be rounded up and detained just for visiting their families who are fighting wars for the criminal president.

 

Last week we learned that GOP Representative Elliott Engen was arrested on suspicion of driving while impaired. Now we also know that in his car was GOP Representative Walter Hudson, who was also impaired and in possession of a 9 mm Smith & Wesson handgun in his waistband.

Drunks and guns; what could go wrong?

 

In the first days after Pam Bondi was appointed attorney general last year, the Department of Justice began shutting down pending criminal cases at a record pace.

The cases included an investigation into a Virginia nursing home with a record of patient abuse; probes of fraud involving several New Jersey labor unions; an investigation into a cryptocurrency company suspected of cheating investors.

In total, the DOJ closed more than 23,000 criminal cases in the first six months of Cankles’ regime so they could open cases against his so-called enemies.

And since so many of those cases were dismissed, well, read on until the end ...

Cankles shared the first images of his planned presidential library in downtown Miami, posting a video that depicts a skyscraper that appears to be about 50 stories tall.

That tall and yet not one book? What the hell kinda library is that?

 

Lindsey Graham was ineffective talking his colleagues into keeping the government open, but he chatted up Mickey Mouse last week at Woke Disney World where he had breakfast at Chef Mickey’s while Disney characters go around to all the tables for a little chit chat.

Then when he slithered back to South Carolina, he went to a shooting range to prove his masculinity, perhaps with a Pink Barbie Rifle.

 

Republicans are considering reductions in federal health spending to help pay for a budget bill containing as much as $200 billion to fund the illegal Iran war and immigration enforcement.

Say goodbye to healthcare because the illegal war is more important than We The People and remember that on Election Day.

Spain has closed its airspace to US planes involved in attacks on Iran, ​a step beyond its previous denial of use ‌of jointly-operated military bases. The closure forces military planes to bypass NATO ​member Spain en route to their targets ⁠in the Middle East though it does not include ​emergency situations.

Oh, and then Italy also denied permission for US military aircraft to land ‌at the Sigonella air base in Sicily ‌before flying to the Middle East.

And then Poland humiliated Cankles by bluntly rejecting his desperate plea for them to send their Patriot air defense system to the Middle East to help with his illegal Iran War.

You started this mess for no reason other than Epstein, asshat, so see your own way out of it.

 

The Cankles’ Regime is extending family planning grants for Planned Parenthood after a protracted legal battle. White House spokesman Kush Desai said the regime could not fulfill its goal of withholding Title X family planning grants for the nation’s largest abortion provider due to “significant legal challenges.”

 

Pope Leo said last week that God rejects the ‌prayers of leaders who start wars and have “hands full of blood,” in unusually forceful remarks as the illegal Iran war.

Of course, Faux Christian KKKarolying Leavitt completely lied about the Pope’s remarks, suggesting he said he will not prayer for the soldiers.

He said God rejects the prayers of leaders who start wars, dear. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.

 

In a fairly scathing ruling, Judge Richard Leon declared that “The President of the United States is the steward of the White House for future generations of First Families. He is not, however, the owner...no statute comes close to giving the President the authority he claims to have” and then shut down construction of the so-called ballroom Cankles wants;

“Unless and until Congress blesses this project through statutory authorization, construction has to stop!”

We need to oppose this ballroom at every turn. It’s the People’s House, not Demented Old Pedophile’s House, and he should not get to determine what is built on it.

 

U.S. District Judge Randolph Moss has ruled that Cankles’ executive order ending federal funding for National Public Radio and Public Broadcasting Service is unconstitutional as it violated the First Amendment of the Constitution by perpetrating “viewpoint discrimination and retaliation of this type.”

 

Cankles kicked Pam Bondi to the curb last week and replaced her, for now, with Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche.

How embarrassing to be the Attorney General of the United States and be fired by a convicted felon.

Th upside is that Pammy Jo can still be called to testify about the Epstein Scandal and still see her ass in jail perhaps. But that shouldn’t stop America from …

Ain't That America XXXII

Another week down, with a hit of good news from SCOTUS for a change which spurred a lie-filled rage speech from Cankles about the “Democratic SCOTUS;” poor delusional old man. And of course the State of the Union speech is Tuesday and the Democrats, many of them at least, may not show up, going instead to a rally on the National Mall.

I am not in favor. I think they should show up, and say and do nothing, other than perhaps raising small signs that could say anything from “Release the Files” to “Say Their Names,” or perhaps show photos of the victims demanding accountability from the regime.

That would rattle Cankles and send him off-script into an insane rage-a-thon, which I won’t be watching because I can neither look at his decaying personage nor listen to his ignorant voice.

That said …

Pope Leo has rejected Cankles’ invitation to “America 250” Festivities in Washington DC because he wants to spend the day with migrants instead.

That’s all.

 

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent claimed that in spite of the Supreme Court’s decision to block Cankles’ illegal tariffs the regime would initiate new tariffs imposed under other statutes ensuring the revenue grift remains unchanged. He also said Americans who paid for the tariffs through higher prices will never see a rebate of that money.

Grifters gonna grift.

 

At DHS new Secret Service protective detail agents are getting  a wardrobe upgrade courtesy of taxpayers because adulterous dog-killer Kristi Noem doesn’t like the suits they bought for themselves.

So We The People will buy them new clothes cuz … grifters gonna grift.

 

Nationalist Christian, or Nat-C as I think of him,  Speaker Mike Johnson has denied a request by Reverend Jesse Jackson’s family to his body lie in honor in the Capitol.

The Little Johnson says the practice is reserved for former presidents and select former government officials and military honorees but the honor was given to Reverend Billy Graham in 2018.

But not Jackson; that sounds about white coming from Nat-C Johnson.

 

Butler, Ohio Mayor, and a Republican,  Wesley Dingus is facing two counts of voyeurism after he was allegedly caught on camera sniffing a teen girl’s underwear.

The party of pedophiles.

 

Oh, and the husband of Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer has been barred from the department’s headquarters after at least two female staff members told officials that he had sexually assaulted them.

The party of sexual predators.

 

A large banner featuring Cankles’ bloated face was hung on the exterior of Justice Department headquarters.

They’re putting up pedophile’s pictures at the DOJ cuz, you know, the party of pedophiles.

 

Roughly 80% of career leadership at the ICEstapo  has been fired or demoted under DogKiller Kristi Noem’s tenure as she and her lover, Corey Lewandowski have targeted employees for allegedly talking to the press.

 

The Republican Party of Eau Claire County headquarters in Altoona was vandalized overnight when the windows were spray-painted with the phrase ‘pedophile protectors,’ and around a dozen eggs were thrown onto the building.

Truth in advertising.

 

The FBI formally notified the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension [BCA] that it will not provide them with access to any information or evidence that it has collected in the January 24 ICEstapo murder of Alex Pretti.

Coverup.

In February 2026, a rumor spread that Bo French, a GOP candidate for the Texas Railroad Commission, which regulates oil and gas, wanted to deport Native Americans. Several social media posts made the claim, including on Facebook, where one user said French had called for the deportation of “third world savages” including Native Americans. French says it never happened but here’s a direct quote from his X account:

“Since we are going to denaturalize and deport all the third world savages who hate our country, I am calling for adding these third world savages, who we conquered, then bizarrely let have a nation inside our nation, to the list. “

We let native peoples have a nation in our nation? Or did we steal their nation to create our own, give them a few crumbs of land and then take it back.

Look in a mirror, Bo; that’s the enemy.

And what do we do with the enemy

Funny Papers

Dave Whamond, Nick Anderson, Mike Thompson, Joe Thibodeau, JD Crowe, Michael de Adder, Max Espinoza, Lalo Alcaraz, Jesse Duquette, Jack Ohman, Clay Bennett, Rick McKee,