The Funny Papers

Lalo Alcaraz, Peter Shrank, Clay Bennett, Matt Davies, Dave Whamond, Adam Zyglis, Matt Wuerker, Bill Bramhall, Ann Telnaes, David Horsey, Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson, Marc Murphy,

Bobservations

There is some hopefulness on Consuelo.

I’ve seen her on the deck, twice, coming for food we’ve left out. But she’s scared and so she won’t come to me or come into the house. She looks a little ragged—it rained one night—but otherwise okay.

We’ve set out old clothes, her scratching post, a cat carrier with blankets, food, w treats, but still she won’t come out when we’re around. I think she’s just scared right now. Our next step, I think, is to get a feral cat trap, and see if we can trap her. That way we can get her back inside.

Fingers permanently crossed.

It’s been more than thirty years since the AIDS Memorial Quilt was created in San Francisco, and in those years,  it has traveled the world and touched millions of hearts. Now, the Quilt is going home for good.

The AIDS Memorial Quilt, spurred on by the NAMES Project Foundation, will be moved from Atlanta to the National AIDS Memorial in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park for long-term preservation and educational purposes; related archival collections will be under the care of the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress in Washington.

If you’ve never seen it, all or part, it is an amazingly beautiful sad, heartbreaking memorial to those we’ve lost to AIDS. I’ve seen parts in San Francisco and Miami and saw it on the Mall in DC twice.

It breaks your heart, but gives you hope. It deserves a permanent home.

In other good LGBTQ+ news … Cyndi Lauper will receive the inaugural High Note Global Prize from the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights and the High Note Global Initiative.

Lauper is being lauded for co-founding True Colors Unitedin 2008 after learning that while 10% of American youth identify as LGBTQ+, up to 40% of American homeless youth is LGBTQ+. True Colors United works to prevent and end youth homelessness, focusing on the unique experiences of LGBTQ youth.

True Colors United offers free training and resources on how to meet the needs of LGBTQ+ youth experiencing homelessness. They advocate in government and media to help ensure critical funding and services for all youth and create opportunities for youth who have experienced homelessness to be key leaders in the effort to end the problem.

Congratulations Cyndi. Girls just wanna have fun, but they wanna help. too.

More LGBTQ+ good news … LGBTQ advocates and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have reached a deal to ban harmful gay conversion therapy for minors in the state of Utah. The deal was announced by Governor Gary Herbert on Twitter.

The proposed rule is expected to be published Dec. 15 and could go into effect as early as Jan. 22, according to a news release.”

But then … The Notre Dame Academy has come under fire after Carly McGoldrick, a parent who identifies as bisexual, reported that when the school took 8th graders on their annual trip to Chicago to see The Nutcracker, the chaperones made the kids leave the theater when it was revealed that Clara’s parents were played by two men:

“I’ve been in contact with an audience member … who said the walk-out was disruptive and confusing. It happened about 5 minutes before the performance actually began, and I can only imagine how humiliated the students were. Waiting for NDA to …  issue an apology for embarrassing [the students] in front of an entire auditorium.”

Kim Grilliot, NDA president, issued an apology, after McGoldrick’s tweet started a firestorm of anger:

“We apologize for our decision for 8th graders leave to a performance of The Nutcracker before it began due to casting choices. The mistake is contrary to our inclusive spirit and reminds us our actions should affirm that we are all God’s children.”

Well, isn’t that special, but … NDA also claims the school’s Spirit of Inclusion statement, adopted in 2014 ,affirms that NDA welcomes "all into our Gospel community including but not limited to people of all colors, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, gender expression, abilities, economic classes and nationalities.”

Except, I guess when it comes to Clara having two dads. For their part, the 8th graders painted a rock on the school’s campus in rainbow colors with the words “God Loves U” in response to the incident.

Listen to the children is the lesson here.

Ehsan Abdulaziz, a forty-six-year-old millionaire property developer, claims he never raped that 18-year-old girl; he simply tripped and fell on her while his penis was out of his pants.

Seriously.  Abdulaziz had already had sex with the teenager’s 24-year-old friend, whom he already knew, in the bedroom and said his penis might have been poking out of his underwear when he fell on the girl. He says he simply wanted to see if the young woman wanted a t-shirt to sleep in, or a taxi home, but claims she pulled him on top of her and placed his hand between her legs.

Now, his semen and DNA were found inside the girl, but Abdulaziz said it was possible he had semen on his hands from having sex with the 24-year-old earlier.

A jury acquitted him in just 30 minutes of deliberations. Seriously.

It appears he goes by the name Wake.

Hot. The long hair. The facial hair.  The body. The soulful eyes. The smile. The shower.

I’m fully woke. Just sayin’.

More Religious Hypocrisy From The Catholics

Lynn Starkey has been a guidance counselor at Roncalli High School, a Catholic high school in Indianapolis, with over 39 years of experience. But she’s out of a job because, you guess it, gay and in a civil union with a woman!

The school and the city’s Archdiocese will not be renewing her contract for the 2019-2020 school year because, they say, Starkey breached her employment agreement by falling in love with a woman and having a civil union ceremony … four years ago. In addition to her 39 years of service, Lynn Starkey was recognized as Teacher of the Year in 2009 while still a lesbian.

Lynn Starkey filed a discrimination complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission in November 2018, claiming she was discriminated against based on her sexual orientation.

Huh.

In addition, another guidance counselor at Roncalli, Shelly Fitzgerald, who had worked at the school for fifteen years was placed on leave last month when it was learned that she, too, had married a woman.

Starkey’s attorney, Kathleen DeLaney:

“There are more than 60 schools in the Archdiocese of Indianapolis and thousands of employees. Shelly Fitzgerald and Lynn Starkey are the only ones we know of who have been asked, ‘Are you violating church teachings?’”

And if that’s true, if the Archdiocese hasn’t questioned every employee, then they have singled out both Lynn Starkey and Shelly Fitzgerald because they are gay, and doesn’t that sound like plain and simple discrimination?

But, again, it’s the Catholic Church which would rather remove a valued employee … two valuable employees … because of their sexual orientation, but also turn a blind eye to priests raping children.

Gay people, they fire; pedophiles, they protect.

How Christlike.

ABC-WWSB

Michael Neri Shuts Down Homophobic Mom Who Pulled Her Kids From His Class

Michael Neri is a drama teacher who runs the runs Talking Props Theatre School, a performing arts school for children ages 8 to 13, in Kidderminster, England. But here was no drama in his response to a mother who pulled her two children from his school after learning that Neri is :::gasp::: a homosexual!

The unnamed mother texted Neri:

“Hi Michael.

Following our chat this week, I have decided that ____ and ____ will not be attending class on Monday.

You have a strong reputation for performing arts which encouraged me to sign my children up for classes. I have recently learned of your lifestyle and as a Christian I cannot allow my children to be influenced by unconventional ideas. It is our belief that a man should marry a woman. I look forward to receiving my deposit which can be posted to me via checque.

Regards _____”

And Michael Neri responded:

“Hi _____,

I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed to hear this. I pride my students on the love and respect they have for others and their passion for equality. You would only be infringing upon our family.

As far as I’m aware, my sexuality doesn’t affect my ability to teach, just like it wouldn’t affect a doctor’s ability to treat one of your children should they become unwell. I’m sure your children’s health would come first, should they need emergency treatment, or would you need to check their doctor’s lifestyle prior to their life-saving operation?

I wish you luck in finding an appropriate stage school that meets your needs, however from my experience I find that theatre without gays is like cooking without spices (just my opinion).

I hear StageCoach are enrolling but their teachers have been known to wear mixed fabrics  which I’m sure you are aware is forbidden in the bible (Leviticus 19:19).

Please feel free to come see our Musical ‘Happy Days’, confetti will be used in the finale but please rest assured that this is not an attempt to corrupt your Christian lifestyle.

We just love glitter.

Unfortunately, deposits are non-refundable but don’t worry, your deposit has been donated to Stonewall, an LGBT charity.

Regards, Michael”

I just hope they donated in the bigot’s name … and put confetti in the envelope.

Good

Bobservations

It’s been a year … and nothing’s changed …

Alyssa Alhadeff, 14, Scott Beigel, 35, Martin Duque Anguiano, 14,  Nicholas Dworet, 17, Aaron Feis, 37, Jaime Guttenberg, 14, Christopher Hixon, 49, Luke Hoyer, 15, Cara Loughran, 14, Gina Montalto, 14, Joaquin Oliver, 17, Alaina Petty, 14, Meadow Pollack, 18,Helena Ramsay, 17, Alexander Schachter, 14, Carmen Schentrup, 16, Peter Wang, 15.

Demand gun control.

Remember when _____ said at the State of the Union that he would cure HIV/AIDS in ten years?

Yeah, not like this … the Department of Health and Human Services [HHS] announced that it is close to finalizing a conscience protection rule that would allow people to discriminate in health-care settings under cover of law.

While the final rule is at the Office of Management and Budget for review and not available to the public, under the “draft” rule, which has been made public, health-care providers will be able to refuse to provide treatment, referrals, or assistance with procedures if these activities would violate their stated religious or moral convictions.

In other words, they can refuse health care and service to the LGBTQ community. And the deliberately vague language could apply to everyone from receptionists refusing to book appointments to scrub nurses refusing to assist with emergency surgery.

Fuck _____.

On the upside for our community, Major General Matthew Beevers of the California National Guard has said they will not comply with _____’s transgender military ban:

“As long as you fight, we don’t care what gender you identify as.”

I still find it ironic that a man who dodged the draft because his feet hurt is trying to tell anyone who wants to join the military that they cannot because of their gender identity.

Fuck _____.

After inviting Vernetta Alston, a school alumnus  and an openly gay councilperson to speak at a Black History Month event, Immaculata Catholic School canceled the event and closed the school for the day after officials heard “a number of groups” planned to protest the school’s inviting a Lesbian to speak. The pastor, Christopher Van Haight, told parents:

“As a pastor, I cannot place our Immaculata students into this contentious environment.”

Fuck you. You invited the woman, who has never hidden her sexual orientation, but then caved to threats from bigots and homophobes.

How Christ-like of you pastor, letting hate rule the day, ruin the day.

So, the Grammys … with JLo giving a tribute to Motown. The best photo I saw was a picture on Facebook of Diana Ross’ daughter, Rhonda, on the phone during the show, with the caption:

“Rhonda Ross is calling the police on that Motown tribute.”

And an arrest should have been made. But with all the stripping off of clothing and shaking her ass, perhaps JLo was giving tribute to a strip club in Detroit.

Smart move …  Sandusky, Ohio city officials have decided that the city will no longer observe Columbus Day as a holiday, and are switching it for Election Day. The new rule, which takes effect this year, will give workers in all municipal offices the day off on Election Day.

This could be the start of the Make Election Day a holiday movement. Let’s hope.

Mac’s Cashsaver is a family-owned Christian grocery store with several locations in Southeast Arkansas and that is an ad they ran in the local paper:

“Heaven has a wall, a gate and a strict immigration policy. Hell has open borders. Let that sink in.”

Perhaps a wall should be built around that grocery store to keep the asshats inside.

Michael Bloomberg is preparing to spend at least $500 million from his own pocket in a run for the presidency.

Show of hands? Who really wants another billionaire running the country?

Last week, watching Will & Grace, Karen, whom I someday aspire to be, slayed me when she called Jack’s Latino fiancé …

“A Mexican Jumping Queen.”

And when he protested, she said …

“Shut your Paella hole.”

Needless to say, I’ve been driving Carlos crazy all week, though he had no problem when Karen, and I, suggested that we flip his “Spanish Omelet.”

Just sayin’.

Finally … some hotness from Down Under ... Benji Condie is a slab of delicious Grade A beefcake swimmer and fitness model from Sydney, Australia.

And he sizzles.

I’m’a need a minute.

Tuesday Thought #3

A Hurricane Of Ignorance Threatens Texas

Well, if you thought Hurricane Florence striking North and South Carolina was bad, just wait until Hurricane Ignorance hits Texas.

As part of an effort to "streamline" the social studies curriculum in public schools, Texas’ State Board of Education voted last week to adjust what students in every grade are required to learn. Among those changes are the removal of both Hillary Clinton, First Lady, Senator from New York, Secretary of State and the winner of the popular vote in the 2016 presidential election, and Helen Keller, from the curriculum.

The board did vote to keep a reference to the "heroism" of the defenders of the Alamo, Moses’ influence on the writing of the United States’ founding documents, multiple references to "Judeo-Christian" values and a requirement that students explain how the "Arab rejection of the State of Israel has led to ongoing conflict" in the Middle East in the curriculum. 

Hurricane Ignorance.

High schoolers have been required to learn about Hillary Clinton, who was the first woman to ever win a major political party's presidential nomination, in history class, and, under a section about citizenship, they were assigned to "evaluate the contributions of significant political and social leaders” including Clinton, Andrew Carnegie, Thurgood Marshall and Sandra Day O'Connor. Barry Goldwater was also removed from this teaching requirement; the board recommended removing evangelist and Baptist pastor Billy Graham, but the state board kept him.

Go figure.

Third-grade social studies teachers have been required to teach their students about Helen Keller, who despite being deaf and blind graduated from college and lived a life of activism and authorship, but Keller did not make the work group's list and so students in other grades will no longer be taught about her achievements.

So why didn't Clinton, Keller and several dozen other historical figures make the cut? Well, here’s where it gets dumb …

Two teachers from the group of board-nominated volunteers that made the recommendations say Texas requires students to learn about so many historical figures that it resulted in rote memorization of dates and names instead of real learning. So, the volunteers came up with guidelines for grading every historical figure as to who is "essential" and who isn't by asking asked questions like, "Did the person trigger a watershed change" … "Was the person from an underrepresented group" … "Will their impact stand the test of time?"

Out of 20 points, Keller scored a 7 and Clinton scored a 5; the work group found that by eliminating Clinton from the requirements, teachers will save 30 minutes of class time, and by eliminating Keller teachers will save 40 minutes.

Thirty minutes to discuss Clinton’s decades and decades of public service? Forty minutes for Helen Keller’s achievements in the face of so many so-called disabilities? These are not worthy of being taught, but Billy Graham, a homophobic asshat gets a pass, as do local members of the Texas Legislature. 

But two remarkable women … nothing.

The vote last week was preliminary, and the board can amend the curriculum changes further before taking a final vote in November so there is hope that Hurricane Ignorance doesn’t devastate the state’s educational system.

Of course, it does make it all the clearer why Texans vote the way they do.

Dallas News

Christian School Tells Boy To "Get Over" Being Raped

The Brentwood Academy, a prestigious private "Christian" school in Williamson County, Tennessee, is feeling a little tarnish on their reputation this week after being accused of allowing teenage boys to repeatedly rape a 12-year-old boy, downplaying the assaults, and refusing to report them to authorities.

And now they’re set to face a 30 million lawsuit, filed by the parent of that boy; the suit says four eighth-grade boys repeatedly raped and sexually assaulting her son during the 2014-15 school year and that Brentwood Academy Headmaster Curtis Masters told the rape victim to "turn the other cheek" and that "everything in God's kingdom happens for a reason."  

Like a $30 million lawsuit, eh? It happened like this ...

On five separate dates during the 2014-15 school year, four eighth-grade boys at Brentwood Academy sexually assaulted “John Doe”.

The first incident occurred at an after-school football game party, where several students restrained John Doe, placing their buttocks on his face and their scrotums , or into, his mouth.

On four other dates, four male students and others “conspired to engage in male on male sexual harassment, sexual assault and/or rape upon John Doe in the locker room not supervised by an adult."

In January and February of 2015, one boy would call John Doe’s name in the locker room and then two boys held the doors to the locker room closed while a fourth boy raped John Doe. The rapist forced his penis into John Doe’s mouth while those around him 'eat it, eat it;’ that same boy would then anally rape John Doe.

The boy later bragged that he "f---ed that boy up the ass and stuck a Gatorade bottle in him."

And it appears there were other boys in the locker room who took part in the rape by watching and doing nothing to stop it; there is some evidence, however, that at least some of those onlookers, told their parents of the assaults because, in April 2015, the mother of a sixth-grade student told John Doe's mother about the assaults.

John Doe's mother immediately went to the school and spoke with counselor Chris Roberts, an employee of Christian counseling ministry Daystar Counseling; in the lawsuit, is accused of not reporting the rape allegations to authorities, and instead telling Jane Doe that this is not how "Christian institutions handle these things."

Oddly enough, though, Tennessee law requires counselors and school officials to report suspected child abuse or neglect. 

When Jane Doe took her son to a pediatrician who instantly contacted the  Department of Children Services. That must have worked, because a few days later, middle school director Nancy Brasher, right, called Jane Doe after discussing the allegations with Headmaster Curtis Masters, right, and middle school athletic director Buddy Alexander.

The lawsuit claims that Nancy Brasher initially accused John Doe of being at fault for not reporting the attacks, and that it could not be true “because the four students had been removed from the locker room in January 2015.”

Well, first blame the victim, and then provide an alibi for the rapists, eh, Nancy?

During an April 20 meeting with John Doe’s mother and father, Headmaster Masters said he considered the allegations to be “boys being boys and he could not investigate each of those and run a school.”

You know, it’s just rape, and he has better things to do.

But then, at some point after that meeting, Masters said the boy who raped John Doe admitted to him that some of the allegations were true. And yet nothing was done; well, except that the Headmaster told John Doe to “turn the other cheek” and that one of the students would receive an in-school suspension. He also offered John Doe the option of changing in and out of his gym clothes in Masters’ office until cameras were placed in the locker room.

Just so, you know, maybe he wouldn’t be raped again ... and again.

In addition to the Headmaster Curtis, Nancy Brasher, and Buddy Alexander, the suit also accuses assistant basketball coach Lyle Husband and sixth-grade basketball coach Mike Vazquez of negligence leading to the continued attacks on John Doe.

In response to the lawsuit, Masters emailed this statement to the media:

"Our highest priority is the safety and protection of our students. We take any allegation involving our students very seriously. We responded immediately and fully cooperated with authorities when we became aware of concerns in 2015. We are obligated to maintain confidentiality in any legal matter. Out of respect for all parties involved, and based on the advice of our legal counsel, we are unable to discuss details at this time."

Jane Doe and her son are seeking $30 million in total damages and demanding a jury trial. I hope they get every penny, and I hope they get a jury trial; I hope the media follows this lawsuit carefully and that the oh-so-tony Brentwood Academy gets shut down for good.

The Tennessean