I Didn't Say It ....

Mitt Romney, in a prerecorded message for the Values Voter Summit:

"We will uphold the sanctity of life, not abandon or ignore it. And we will defend marriage, not try to redefine it. We need a President who understands that we will not have a strong economy unless we have strong communities and strong families. This isn’t conjecture or some quaint belief, it’s evidenced by a Brookings Institution study that Rick Santorum brought to my attention some time ago. For those who graduate from high school, get a full-time job, and wait until they’re 21 until they marry and then have their first child, the probability that they will be poor is 2 percent, but if those things are absent, the probability of becoming poor is 76 percent. In short, culture matters, and as President, I’ll protect our culture and preserve the values of hard work, personal responsibility, family, and faith."

So, what he’s saying is “Women? I’ll be telling you what you can and cannot do, and Gays? You will never have marriage equality in this country. And Rich Folk? I got your back.”

So presidential.

President Barack Obama, on Mittsy's many gaffes of late:

"What people want to know, though, is you're not writing off a big chunk of the country. This is a big country. And people disagree a lot but, one thing I’ve never tried to do and I think none of us can do in public office is suggest that because someone doesn’t agree with me that they’re victims or they’re unpatriotic....There are not a lot of people out there who think they’re victims. There are not a lot of people who think they’re entitled to something....We’ve got some obligations to each other, and there’s nothing wrong with us giving each other a helping hand so that that single mom’s kid, even after all the work she’s done, can afford to go to college.”

While he wants to help those 47%, Mittsy doesn’t want to be bothered.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck, The View’s resident wingnut, as always, beating the GOP drum and agreeing with Mittsy:

"I also think there's a general feeling that with more and more people becoming dependent on government that by next July we could perhaps be celebrating "Dependence Day" and not "Independence Day" in this nation."

Hasselbeck, who never met a Republican for whom she wouldn’t goosestep—remember her rabid adoration for Mama Grizzly Bore™--spewing doom and gloom for the country, because that’s how the GOP likes it: fear-based voting.

Reichen Lehmkuhl, realty show famewhore, on the demise of Logo’s The A-List:

"As much as I will miss the illustrious and fabulous life of an 'A-list reality star,' being public, being subject to the small but progressive, loud and proud, 'gay hate and take down other gays' judgment machine, and being the target of gossip from the flawless corps of amazingly accomplished, secure, sassy, role model bloggers—and don't forget the very brave commenters on those blog stories; all winners—of the gay media hate-o-sphere... the dignity department of my soul tells me that it's time for a new direction. I will, of course, also miss having the few worst moments of my life put on screen each week, with all 900 recorded hours of my best, positive, happy, benevolent, successful, charitable, fun, and loving moments vanishing, hidden as if they didn't exist, and swiftly deleted from any sort of public view whatsoever."

Funny, he takes to the media to complain about his treatment in the media, which he sought, and fought for, and probably used to pay for his Grindr account.

Rupert Everett, who once said gay actors should stay closeted, rearing his ugly head again:

"[My mother] thinks children need a father and a mother and I agree with her. I can’t think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay dads. Some people might not agree with that. Fine! That’s just my opinion. I’m not speaking on behalf of the gay community. In fact, I don’t feel like I’m part of any 'community.' The only community I belong to is humanity and we’ve got too many children on the planet, so it’s good not to have more."

Oh, Rupert.

So, children of single parents are just so unlucky and sad? Divorced parents should give their children to two-parent, opposite-sex couples? And so should a parent whose spouse has died?

You say you belong to the community of humanity, and yet you denigrate parts of that community regularly.

You should sit down unlike Madonna needs another gay stereotype for a movie.

Louise Pratt, Australian Labor Senator, who has a transgender partner, on the need for marriage equality:

"I am one of those hundreds of thousands of Australian citizens who knows that the laws of our nation hold our capacity for love and for commitment to be lesser because of the gender of our partner...One of hundreds of thousands of Australian citizens who knows that the laws of our nation say we are less deserving of rights, respect and recognition. We know that those ideas are not true and that the laws that reinforce them are not right. This debate has a personal impact for me...I think it is one of the bitterest, bitterest ironies of this debate that historically gay people have been stigmatized as promiscuous and immoral while being denied by the law the right to demonstrate the importance and consistency of their relationships in the way that any other Australian can. Think about that."

Amen.

Equality isn’t much to ask for, and yet many people just don’t get it.

Barney Frank, on Mittsy’s foot-in-mouth issues:

"Mitt Romney’s attack on the moral character of disabled veterans, elderly and disabled Social Security recipients, and hard-working Americans in low-wage jobs because they do not pay income taxes is especially galling given the great energy he has put into evading income taxes on his very high income. Many of those whom Mr. Romney impugns pay a significant portion of their income in payroll taxes which support Social Security and Medicare. And until Mr. Romney stops hiding his own tax records, we can speculate that those people pay a higher percentage of their income in these taxes than Mr. Romney does on his foreign accounts, tax shelters, and other evasive devices. What Mr. Romney has done is to make clear – although he had not intended to be so public about it – the philosophical rationale behind efforts of the Romney-Ryan ticket to weaken the Social Security and Medicare safety nets."

Mittsy has one agenda, and he’s had it his whole life: make Mittsy rich.

And that’s what he’d do if he was ever elected president.

Ozzie Guillen, Miami Marlins manager, on Toronto Blue Jay’s Yunel Escobar’s three game suspension for a homophobic slur:

"I think he just did it for fun. I know he didn't mean to hurt anybody's feelings. Nobody is that stupid. In my house, we call (each other) that word every 20 seconds. I've got three kids. For us, it's like 'What's up, bro? What's up, dude?' It's how you say it and to who you say it. But that's our country. We have to respect this country. Sometimes for us it's funny, for other people it's not."

Ozzie? You’re an idiot. Even after your own troubles--you called a reporter a 'fag'--you still don't get that it isn't right.

Saying What’s up, fag is not family friendly, unless your family is the Westboro Baptist Church. I hope your children grow up top love their father, but understand that he is a complete moron.

Chris Kluwe, football player, LGBT ally, my newest hero:

"Every time you propagate the message that being gay is to be less than human, that same sex marriage cannot be as filled with love and laughter and tears as heterosexual marriage, that gays don’t deserve to pass a legacy on to their family, you quicken that howling storm and sweep away a tiny bit more humanity from the world, drive one more child to contemplating the cold razor’s bite, or the yawning abyss of the overdose because they simply cannot deal with the unceasing assault upon their psyche.

Well I, for one, will not stand for it.

I will not stand for a world that demeans those it finds ‘different’ or ‘gross’. I will not stand for an ideology that promotes slavish adherence to a single arbitrary standard, that sacrifices children on the altar of oppression and control. I will not stand for one more RED TINGED MUSHROOM CLOUD second of people thinking that they have the right to live someone else’s life for them, for the complete lack of empathy so often shown in our society. I stand for gay marriage. I stand for the end of segregation. I stand for a woman’s right to vote. I stand for equality under the law, for treating others how I want to be treated, for the fundamental human right to live a happy life free of tyranny. I stand for my children."

Word.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But......

Wow, am I shocked.
Charlie Sheen's, um, yeah, 'tour' is a bit of a bomb.

Opening night in Detroit saw a sold-out crowd of more than 4,500 packed into the Fox Theater, dying to see the trainwreck perform, um, live. But from all reports, it was a thoroughly disastrous night for the "warlock."
Some audience members, obviously the ones who've been screaming at their TV sets during Charlie's wackadoo interviews, began the show by heckling the warm-up guy. It got so ugly, in fact, that someone woke Charlie from a drug-induced coma and shoved him onstage and reprimand the crowd--to no avail.
The comic was booed off the stage, and house lights soon came up, causing the impatient masses to grow even more restless, as they waited for the Sheen Show to start.
And, finally, when the headliner launched into his first 'Violent Torpedo of Truth' performances--more than an hour after the disjointed show first started--the ovation turned to boos and jeers and walkouts.
Quelle surprise!
Many in the crowd demanded their money back--and let me say this, if you paid money to see Charlie Sheen....Charlie Effin' Sheen...and felt taken, too bad--but were denied.
But many of those demanding s refund might have wanted the money to spend on souvenirs, and by souvenirs,m I don't mean bricks of cocaine; those all go directly to Sheen. But you could buy t-shirts emblazoned with Charlie-isms like "F---ing Brilliant!" and "I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen".
And me, nowhere near Detroit. Boo-freaking-hoo.
The, um, 'show,' such as it was featured scores of video clips, including fan tributes from YouTube, violent film excerpts and one of Sheen just playing Call of Duty. As the crowds began to rant and rave about the horrid performance, Sheen told them, "I've already got your money!"
And sent it straight up his nose.
Other Charlie-isms, for which Detroitians paid $45:
"Tonight is an experiment"
"I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you"
"Show of hands here who has tried crack? :::crickets::: I don't do crack anymore, but this is a good f---ing night to do some crack"
Is anybody else as confused by this s--t as I am? I wrote every word!"
OMG He is high-larious. See what i did there? High...........larious?


And speaking of trainwrecks, wannabes, and whores.

Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, and Danielle Staub are apparently starring in their own reality show. Or, maybe because they're all famewhores they just gathered togetherher and paid people to film them.
Montag, best known for using plastic surgery to transform herself from a pretty young girl into an inflatable sex doll with the IQ of a bar of soap, sat alongside Pavelka, who is best known for speed dating through twenty-six women and falling in love with one and then proposing and then breaking it off and then calling her all sorts of evil names on TV.
He's.A.Keeper.
Not far behind was former Real Housewives of New Jersey's very own Danielle Staub, AKA prostitution whore, drug mule, and star of her own poorly selling sex tape.
Heidi, Jake and Danielle.
Definitely Must-Not-See TV.

And, now for some good gay news.

Newly out, and still enjoying her Coming Out tool-belt and Home Depot gift card, country singer Chely Wright is engaged.
Her fiancée, Lauren Blitzer, a LGBT Civil Rights activist, and Chely have set a date and plan to be married this summer in Connecticut, where equality lives for all people, not just the heterosexual kind.
It seems that Chely and Lauren met through LGBT youth advocacy work, and realized they both have a love for, um, Scrabble?
Scrabble. Is that some sort of Lesbian sex game? Just asking.
Chely Wright, who once considered suicide rather than coming out as a lesbian, now says, "The freedom of being out and open about who I am allowed me to find and fall in love with Lauren...the most amazing woman I've ever known."
Congrats ladies.
And, as a wedding gift, I've registered you two at Ace Hardware, and will be gifting you with a belt sander and some Doc Martens.
Enjoy!
 
It looks like Lindsay Lohan's association with crime isn't quite over yet.
But maybe, just maybe,m this time crime will pay. It seems that La Lohan is in "final talks" to play mob-daughter Victoria Gotti in 'Gotti: Three Generations,' an upcoming  feature film about Victoria's mafioso father, John.

If this holds up--and it depends on whethe Lindsay goes back to jail or rehab for the summer--she'll star opposite seriously heterosexual John Travolta, who has agreed to play John Gotti.
And to make this film even more of a circus, rumors are swirling--as rumors are apt to do--that Kim Kardashian recently met with executive producers to discuss playing John's daughter-in-law, Kim Gotti.
A Kardashian and a Lohan, together.
This just reeks of an Oscar winning film.
Oscar.Mayer.
Producer Marc Fiore, who obviously has grandiose dreams, says his $75 million production is "going to be the new 'Godfather.'"
Oh, but he did.
There was another story out that Lindsay would play Sharon Tate in a film about Charles Manson.
Or that she would be in the new 'Superman' movie.
But those have to wait, while Lindsay sees if she stars in Prison Bitch.
That's not a film, that's her future.

This has crazy written all over it.
After Britney Spears', um, lethargic-looking demeanor during promotional performances for her new album, comes word that Brit-Brit doesn't want to be bothered performing any more.

She wants to act.
A source--and by source, I mean the team of men who hoist her Frito-laden ass about the stage with she lip-syncs to songs she does not remember--says, "Britney is very mindful that she has to evolve as an artist now she is heading towards her thirties. Music will always be a part of her life but she has come to love acting, and comedy especially. She is currently considering a few scripts. One is a comedy and a kind of parody of the popstar she is and the other is a more serious role which is an action movie."
A serious role in an action movie? Aint no such thing.
But the question I pose is this: if Spears cannot be bothered to learn to sing, much less learn the dance moves, to take this new album on tour, how will she ever become an actress?
Seriously, she has all the intelligence of a pork rind.
I see Brit-Brit's future like this: wackadoo tours, more head-shaving, more drama, another wackadoo tour, and then she'll fade from view, only to resurface in 2041 on some Bravo reality show, like, well, maybe, the Real Housewives of Backswamp.

And the gay is coming out after more than fifty years.

The 1951 novel From Here to Eternity, by James Jones, is set to be re-issued digitally through eBook firm called Open Road, and it will ALLEGEDLY feature two scenes involving gay content that were previously censored from the original publication.
Uh-huh. FHTE is going back to its gay roots.

The novel, which focuses on US soldiers serving in Hawaii in the months leading up to Pearl Harbor, was later adapted into a 1953 film starring Frank Sinatra. In the original book, there were two scenes that didn't make the cut: one focused on Private Angelo Maggio--the role Sinatra played in the film--revealing that he had sometimes been paid to have oral sex with another man; the other excised scene involved a military investigation into possible homosexual activity.

In addition to The Gay, the filthy language of the original novel is being pout back in. Get ready for some F-bombs.

James Jones' daughter, Kaylie, explains: "My father fought bitterly to hold on to every four-letter word in the manuscript. The publisher was concerned about getting through the censors."
And so The Gay and The Profane were cut from the novel and from the film, but now they're back, baby. And maybe that famous beach scene, with Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr, could be filmed again with, say, Colin Farrell and Matt Damon?
Just asking.

What does an actress do after she costars in an Oscar-nominated film?

Well, if you're Mila Kunis, fresh off her hot 'Black Swan' performance, you see what kind of offers come up, and then you take your pick.
One part, though, that Kunis won't be taking, even though an offer was made and all other parties are, um, into it, is being one of Charlie Sheen's goddesses.
Indeed!
At the Columbus, Ohio stop on his horrendously awful  'My Violent Torpedo Of Truth/Defeat Is Not An Option Tour,' Sheen began a campaign to secure Kunis as goddess number three in the Sheen crackhouse, saying, "Here's the good news: my goddesses have already f**king approved [Mila]. She's pre-approved! I'm going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes. I'm going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. A super f---ing hot thief named Mila Kunis. Mila, please, we have a warehouse full of your favorite s--t to steal," 
And she must be thrilled.
And then, in incoherent Sheen-speak, he added: "I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila f**king Kunis. If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t , trust me, you're still f**king winning, you're still winning at that moment."
For her part, rumor has it that Mila Kunis was less than thrilled with that particular offer, and even a little disgusted by it. Pals close to the actress say Thanks but no thanks, to Charlie, adding, "Obviously Charlie wanted to name someone who would create publicity for his tour, but the thought of it grosses Mila out."
It grosses me out, too.
And most of America.

More on Brit-Brit.

Less than a day after Spears debuted her new music video for 'Till the World Ends', she is fighting off rumors that she used a body double in the video.
Is that so far off the mark? I mean, she doesn't actually "sing" so should we be surprised that she also doesn't "dance"?
It is being suggested that choreographer and backup dancer Tiana Brown plays the role of Britney Spears' body in the video--accusations that the Spears camp, Camp HooHaw, denies. Now, to be fair, Brown has danced on the road with Britney on the 'Circus Starring Britney Spears Tour', but the rote answer Brit offered when asked if she's got a body double is, Oh hell to the no. It's Britney, bitch!
But then she turned to her handlers and asked, Which one is Britney?

Wow. Sink much.
He was one-half of a gay-married couple on The Amazing Race.
Then he dated Lance Bass.
Then he "starred" on Logo's The A-List.

And now, you ask--or maybe don't ask, though I'll tell you anyway--what is Reichen Lehmkuhl up to now?
Apparently, while waiting for season two of A-list to start, Reichen has gotten himself a side job spanking his monkey on a webcam, though the paycheck is about as big as the payoff. The pictures of his choking the chicken session made their way on to the Internet this week, and I, for one, was waiting for Reichen to deny that the pictures were of his Little Reichen being strangled.
Not so.
After confirming that the images were, in fact, him, Lehmkuhl released a statement:
"I don't feel that this story represents anything different in me than what the majority of gay men have done at one point or another--as far as posting a private picture over internet lines for private viewing. In my, now, nine years of being in the public eye, I've seen many less-flattering photos attributed to me, so that's a plus. Moving on…"
Moving on?
To what?
A little back-door video? Or, howsabout moving on to something else altogether, like, say, obscurity?

Oh, Paris! Were you jealous that Lindsay was getting all the jewel thief press and just couldn't stand it for another minute?

It seems that old-coke-in-the-vah-jay-jay,Paris Hilton, is being sued by the insurance company of Damiani jewelry, ALLEGING that she hasn't returned $60,000 worth of loaned jewels.
Wow. You beat Lindsanity there. She just, um, "borrowed" a $2500 necklace, but you've upped the ante.
It seems that the jewelry in question was part of the $2.8 million stash that was stolen from her house, while she was "borrowing"them, by the Hollywood Bling Ring back in 2009. The jewels were eventually recovered and returned to Hilton, who then never bothered to give them back to the jeweler.
What is it about the celebutards that they forget to put on underwear and return things they borrow?
And the insurance company, Allianz, even blames Paris for the robbery because she left her front door unlocked and ALLEGEDLY left the jewelry lying about like she does her cocaine.
A representative for Paris, who spends most days trying to explain the alphabet to the heiress, says: "We only just received the complaint but it is clear that it is not based on fact. Among other things, nobody from the Hilton team ever told the insurance company that the Damiani items that were stolen were returned. We are not aware of any of the Damiani items being recovered by the police, only costume jewelry was recovered."
It's the old I-ain't-got-your-stinking-jewels routine!
But if it doesn't play out like that, can you imagine the fun of prison if Lindsay and Paris are  jailed together? I mean, which one would be the other one's bitch? And which one could carve a shiv out of soap?

Star Jones is everywhere on the small screen, filling it up from corner to corner and top to bottom, as she scurries about to promote her new book, 'Satan's Sisters'. But, um, she ALLEGEDLY won't be making an appearance on 'The View'.

And, as Star is apt to do, whenever she isn't eating, which is rare, she's yapping it up about ALLEGED  reports that Barbara Walters is personally blocking her from ever showing up at 'The View' again.
Between bites of a Brontosaurs Burger, she says, "You can't push Barbara into doing anything! Are you out of your mind?"
And then she said, "Nom nom nom nom burp."
Star has, however, appeared on the former co-host Joy Behar's show, and while Star moaned and kvetched and ate a bowl of rigatoni, Joy made it very clear she had nothing to do with the guest bookings at her other job. She did, however, seem to be happy speaking to, and feeding, her former co-host.
Of course, a source for ABC--and by source, i mean the guy who defrosts Walters each day before she appears on-set--says, "Since the show began, Ms. Walters has made it her practice not to book the program."
Riiiight.
Maybe the reason Bab doesn't want Star back, aside from the increased food budget, is that Star's, ahem, novel, 'Satan's Sisters' is the tale of five women on a talk show where "alliances are forged, careers are made, and bridges are burned."
The matriarch, AKA old lady newswoman, of a fictional show, called 'The Lunch Club,' is a character named Maxine Robinson, the first African-American to become a network news anchor. Maxine is conniving and borderline nasty.
Sounds a little Walters-esque, eh?
But I'd love to see Star and Barbara togetehr again. Especially in the heat of summer. The iciness between the two women would certainly cool off a hot August afternoon.

I Didn't Say It...........

Andrew Pierce, editor of the UK's Daily Mail, on Elton John and David Furnish having a child:

"I can’t help feeling that his decision to become a father is another grotesque act of selfishness from Sir Elton, and that the child is a little Christmas bauble he and his partner have awarded themselves. How telling it is that he was born on Christmas Day....He [Sir Elton] is also an aging, pampered, self-indulgent millionaire—look at the absurd names he and Furnish have given the poor child, for heaven’s sake! And it is the nagging suspicion that Elton—a man who is by nature an obsessive—has simply acquired a son to satisfy his latest fixation that I find repellent....[But] let me make my position clear. I am a gay man and I believe same sex couples should be allowed to adopt or have their own children—although I think that in ideal ­circumstances a child should be brought up by a mother and father."

And, as a gay man, you should be celebrating the fact that these two men want to raise a child together and not spend time speculating on the reasons why.

Maybe they just want to be parents.

Dan Savage, on GOProud:

"GOProud isn't a pro-gay rights organization, they're an organization of gay quislings and useful idiots that help to window-dress the Republican party which is really still rabidly anti-gay to it's core. It's a little window dressing, a little gay window dressing, that allows them to appeal to moderates perhaps and independents as being less bigoted than the Republican party actually is."

Nicely put, as usual, from Dan Savage.

GOProud seems to exist merely to placate the LGBT community in relation tot he GOP, but I don't think we need placating, we need equality.

Anthony Verdugo, founder of Florida's Christian Family Coalition, on the DADT repeal:

"It is a tragic day for our nation when legitimizing sodomy is preferred over the morale and combat-readiness of America's military. Sadly, those who voted to repeal DADT don’t know that although they won this battle, they have lost the war. The movement to support our Armed Forces is more powerful than ever and will continue to build strength until we win. This cowardly political betrayal of America's service men and women will not be forgotten on Election Day."

Wow.

Where to begin?

Um, gay men and women want to serve in the military, risking their lives, so they can have sex with other men and women?

Um, they can do that anywhere.

Gay men and women want to serve their country for the same reasons that straight men and women do, and it has nothing to do with sex.

Asshat.

Reichen Lehmkuhl, of the 'reality' show The A List, responding to the editor of Next Magazine, who says that each "cringe-worthy" episode of the Logo show probably canceled out 100 'It Gets Better' videos":

"I don't appreciate your bullying words. You can save your 'vapid queens' comment for, well, no one. I can't even imagine speaking this way about other human beings. That you would reduce my existence to someone who is a 'vapid queen' says more about what you don't know about me, along with the kind of person you must be. Is this seriously how a 'senior editor' at a magazine talks about people?"

Oh, to be a D-list pseudo celebrity who takes umbrage at being called a vapid queen when, if you've seen five minutes of the show, you realize he is a vain, vapid, egotistical, self-indulgent, gym rat, glamor boy wannabe

Vapid is just the first step.

Mama Grizzly Bore, on her 'reality' show, talking about conservation, as she chainsawed a tree:

"Conservationists write me these nasty letters because I support an industry like this. They write me these nasty letters using their pretty little pencils on their pretty little stationery not realizing. Where do you think your pencil and your piece of paper came from, people? It came from a tree that was harvested."

Okay, MGB, I guess by your logic, oil spills are okay because we drive cars, and so we shouldn't complain.

Maybe, just maybe, if you pull your self-involved head out of your self-involved ass, you might realize that conservationists are just looking at different ways to do things other than destroying our environment.

Seriously, MGB, you are the dumbest human being ever.

Newly elected Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie, on Birthers:

"It's an insult to his mother and to his father, and I knew his mother and father; they were my friends, and I have an emotional interest in that. It's an emotional insult. It is disrespectful to the president; it is disrespectful to the office. What bothers me is that some people who should know better are trying to use this for political reasons. Maybe I'm the only one in the country that could look you right in the eye right now and tell you, 'I was here when that baby was born.'"

While I appreciate his efforts, no one, and I mean no one, is going to convince anyone who thinks Obama wasn't born in this country that was he was born here.

Stupid goes all the way to the bone.

Richard Chamberlain, on gay male actors staying closeted:

actor to come out."

Hmm, Dick? May I call you Dick, because you're talking like a dick.

The reason there is still such homophobia in this country is because gay men and women are in the closet.

That ignorance of what gay men and women are is what feeds the homophobia and the fear.

Better that we all come out and show the world that we are just like everyone else--only a wee bit more fabulous!