Bobservations

The past couple of Mondays we’ve had some wild weather here in South Carolina. Last week we had heavy rains and tornado watches and I had to be at work, So I told Carlos to leave the weather reports on and if it gets bad and a tornado is close he needs to gathers the cats, his phone and charger, and some water and get into our master bedroom closet which is at the center of the house.

Luckily all we got was heavy rain and some high winds but no tornadoes in South Carolina.

This past Monday we got the same story but I was off work this week. Still, I reminded Carlos … cats, phone, water, closet. And we barely got a drizzle of rain and no really high winds.

Yesterday morning, I’m getting ready for work and I hear a siren go off in the distant, a long, sustained moan. I race from the back of the house out to the living shouting “Cats! Phone! Water!!” and find Carlos putting down his trumpet and looking around in shock.

That damn trump gave me tornado siren vibes and so I punished Carlos by putting him in the closet with the cats and NO phone. That’ll teach him!

The Great Tuxedo still has a lot left to say and he still has a place to say it.

Kathie Lee Gifford has said she doesn’t  like the LGBTQIA+ community using too many letters in its title:

“I don’t even know how many letters there are now. They’ve really got to stop with that.”

Listen,. Grandma, I don’t need some self-identifying straight white Christian woman telling me or anyone else in my community how we can or can, should or shouldn’t identify.

Gifford claims to have more gay friends that straight friends but then she sure loves to tell us how to live our lives.

Siddown.

JD Vance took time out from making sweet love to a love seat to tell us that the rising gas prices because of the war in Iran are, yes, Joe Biden’s fault:

“All of this conversation happens where Joe Biden left us in a terrible situation, and the reason why gas prices are where they are today is because of [Cankles’] work to get them lower, because the Biden administration, they were crazy high.”

So let me get this straight: When gas prices go up under Cankles, it’s Biden’s fault and when they go down under Cankles it’s his genius?

Anyone wanna tell Couchfucker that Biden has been out of office for fifteen months and gas prices went up just last week.

At the Oscars Jimmy Kimmel’s joke about Melanie’s “documentary” sent the regime into a tizzy attacking Kimmel’s family after he said:

"There are also documentaries where you walk around the White House trying on shoes."

Within hours, White House Communications Director Steven Cheung posted a rant:

“[Kimmel] is a classless hack who is self-projecting his depression and sadness onto others. [He] lives a pathetic existence where nobody, not even his family, enjoys his miserable company."

That's the official White House communications director … posting that … from his government account … about a shoe joke.

We’re at war and this has the regime pissed off.

Speaking of Cankles’ War, he asked several countries to send war ships to the Strait of Hormuz and, well, it didn’t go as he’d hoped:

France said No! China didn’t pick up the phone. The United kingdom said it was “discussing its options” but made no commitment. Japan also didn’t respond. South Korea declined. Germany said Nein. Norway basically laughed and went back to living their good life.

Still, this nonsense begs the question: why does Cankles need help in a war that he said he's already won?

Chief Justice John Roberts defended the Supreme Court against a barrage of attacks that Cankles unleashed against the court for striking down the core of his pivotal tariff policy:

“Personally directed hostility is dangerous and it’s got to stop.”

Hey Johnny, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you rightwingnuts on the court give him free rein to do what he wanted? And then he did it and you voted against it and now he’s mad?

He’s a monster criminal grifter rapist that the Supreme Court created so check yourself in a mirror asshat, this is on you.

Now, after all this serious stuff, let’s have a laugh … Melanie spoke at a Women’s History month gathering and said this:

“As a visionary, I know success is not born overnight, but rather, takes shape after a long, and sometimes challenging process. Often alone at the top, I follow my passion, listen to my instinct, and always maintain a laser focus. In solitude, my creative mind dances—filling my imagination with originality. Attention to detail, demanding schedules, and multi-tasking are everyday realities when building towards success. This principle resonates across all my roles: as a mother, humanitarian, philanthropist, and entrepreneur. As well as with my new film, where I shaped its creative direction, served as producer, managed post-production, and activated the marketing campaign. Curiosity is a core value that keeps me ahead of the curve. Curiosity begets knowledge, opening doors to ideas and industries that I may have otherwise overlooked. This unrestricted mindset has led me to build across very different sectors: fashion, digital assets, publishing, accessories, skincare, commercial television, and of course, filmmaking.”

Clearly narcissism and delusion are family traits.

Pau Ramis is a Spanish model  with blue-green eyes and who stands at 6’2” which is all very nice, but Would You Hit It?

Snarky Thoughts

Oh these days there are so many ALLEGATIONS of sexual misconduct by the men in Hollywood, and all of their trials are happening now. Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, Scientologist Paul Haggis, and current Scientologist Danny Masterson will each have their days in court this fall. Bill Murray dodged a court date by ALLEGEDLY paying his accuser over $100,000.

My Thought: Court TV should really start streaming and they could make a bundle on these Perv Trials.

Spacey  Weinstein  Haggis  Masterson

The thirst continues … over the past couple of years, Madonna has let us know that she self-identifies as a 26-year-old, “sex obsessed“ woman who may or may not be a lesbian. Though she’s never shied away from letting it all hang out in a tub of soapy water recently Madge has become a wee bit shy about her sexuality, On TikTok—because that’s where are the young girls and old girls who act like young girls hang out—Madonna asked her followers to interpret the results of a complex series of events to determine if she was gay.

My Thought: Oh, she came out all right, as Thirsty and Irrelevant and Desperate and a little Sad.

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Kelly Ripa has written a memoir, Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories, to make some coins, and in the book she talks of her complicated relationship with her longtime co-worker Regis Philbin. Regis and Kelly hosted Live! with Regis and Kelly together for ten years And she says he teased her to no end, though in later years they had a great relationship. Cut to Kathie Lee Gifford has been crawling out of steerage on a Carnival cruise ship to stomp her foot and telling world that she will not read Kelly’s book.

My Thought: who asked her to read it? Who asks her anything these days?

Kelly  Kathie Lee

Caitlyn Jenner warned us, and now the Great State of California is losing one of its biggest assets with Mark Wahlberg joining the list of one-percenters leaving the state in their private jets for greener pastures; though in Mark’s case, he’s moving a few hundred miles into Nevada to, he says, make a better life for his children. No one knows if he loaded up the contents of his $90 million home into his $2 million fleet of automobiles and moved out of Beverly … Hills, that is, but we do know he moved to income-tax-free Nevada to build a “state-of-the-art studio,” shoe factory and a separate factory for his apparel company.

My Thought: Not for the children, but for the bank account, his true love.

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