WTF? Rachel Zoe

WTF? "Stylist" Rachel Zoe, wearing the latest from the Chewbacca Collection.

And don't get me started on those bell-bottom trousers--thanks Isaac. Those are just a joke.
She looks like a cartoon character.

Not to mention, ladies and gentleladies, in this picture Zoe is roughly eight months pregnant, and she's carrying low; in her ankles, I'm guessing.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

Filed Under: Did Not See This Coming

An anonymous source--and by source I mean fame-seeking whore--claims that Christina Aguilera had an open marriage with her husband Jordan Bratman, so that Christina could be free top pursue relationships with...................other women.

Now, this, ahem, source, happens to be a woman who ALLEGES that, while at gay bar, The Abbey, Christina sent over her bodyguard to ask if she would be interested in meeting the singer.

The fame-seeking whore says:

“The bodyguard told me it was an understanding within their marriage and that she brings girls home and Jordan’s okay with it…I met Christina in the bathroom and she told me she liked to play with girls. I ended up not pursuing anything with it because the situation just seemed so weird to me, but Christina was definitely looking to hook up…My understanding was that Jordan wasn’t involved when she brought girls home, so maybe the divorce is because Jordan’s jealousy got the best of him.””

Yeah, the situation seemed so weird but not weird enough for you not to flap your lips to the first person who offered you a payday.

And now for some more Gay Rocker News:

 Just last week, Gavin Rossdale admitted to having a gay affair back when he was just a 17-year-old sexual experimenter. But, his former cross-dressing lover Marilyn [AKA Peter Robinson] is less than thrilled with Rossdale's confession.
Why? Does the confession embarrass him? Well, no. Actually Marilyn's a little pissed because when he first blabbed about the affair he was treated badly, and now Rossdale is promoting his, um, open door youthful indiscretion.

Marilyn said:

"I find it sad that when I spoke out about what we had, I was labelled a tattletale - and now, Gavin is using it to promote himself'. [I am] pleased that Gavin is finally able to be honest about our relationship." Maybe one day Gwen will allow my name to be spoken again in her home without it having any negative connotations. We were together five years. But it felt like 40."

Okay.
He said. He said. She said. He said.
Or something like that.

I love a good catfight, and now we have a new one with Chelsea Handler facing off against Mister Mariah Carey, AKA Nick Cannon.

On Twitter, naturally.

Chelsea Handler:

"I just heard nick cannon is starting a comedy tour. Who's going to do the comedy?"

Nick Cannon:
"Wow @chelseahandler I actually used to have respect for you as a comic. But for one artist to diss another in the same art form. #Tasteless, Soon as I get off stage tonight, I'm going in on @chelseahandler I'm about to be relentless! OFF WITH HER HEAD but right now I got to focus."
Nick Cannon:
"Funny how all of @chelseahandler fans are coming at my like I did something to her. I don't even know this broad! She on my s–t! But since it's all in fun and supposedly just comedy, Let's get to the muthaf–kin' JOKES!!"
Nick Cannon:
"Everyone knows @Chelseahandler had sex with the head of E! for her show. So when it gets canceled does he get residual p–sy for the reruns? @Chelseahandler Looks like she got hit in the face with a hot bag of nickels!"
Nick Cannon:
"Just talked to @50Cent He said he made @chelseahandler get G-Unit tattooed on her balls!"

Nick Cannon:

"@50Cent wasn't hitting @chelseahandler they was just sharing testosterone tips."
Nick Cannon:
"@chelseahandler is like the new @joanrivers just without the funny and more plastic surgery."
Wow, Nicky can't take it at all.
Word to the wise, Never tell Mister Carey that he ain't funny.
Even though he isn't.

Well, it seems Jessica Simpson's singing career isn't over yet, but her career as a human being is teetering on the edge.

 Simpson invited The 4Troops, a singing group of Iraq and Afghanistan vets, to join her onstage when she taped her upcoming PBS Christmas special. But then Simpson, or her father Joe, apparently uninvited the vets because they chose to wear camouflage instead of their finest uniforms.
A source--and by source, I mean the gal who reads the comics to Jessica--says:

"Jessica's dad, Joe Simpson, effectively kicked them off the show because he didn't like what they were wearing. They were in camo pants and blazers, the same outfits they wore to sing for General David Petraeus on the USS Intrepid. They were told they couldn't perform unless they were wearing tuxedos. They waited for six hours until midnight only to be told their number with Jessica had been cut from the show. The irony was Jessica was on stage saying how much she supports and admires the troops, and the veterans were stuck in a room in the basement. Instead of enduring more humiliation, the veterans left."

Jessica Simpson is denying that cutting their performance was a personal issue, and her rep--the one who spoon feeds her so she won't get dirty--said:

"The song was cut due to time. Jessica wasn't even aware. She is wholeheartedly devoted to the troops. She just returned from the Persian Gulf where she performed for and met with service men and women stationed at several different locations. The military was the source of inspiration for her entire Christmas album, so much so that she recorded a duet for the album with a USS Harry Truman sailor."

I have a better idea.

Why not cut one of Jessica's overblown, overindulged, auto-tuned, pitchy songs and let the vets sing?

Uh oh Nate.
Your show is going down faster than Oprah on a pile of Oreos.

Yes. It seems that although Oprah's main gay--other than her husband Gayle--Nate Berkus is watching the viewers run from his show.

The Nate Berkus Show debuted strong, but his ratings are fading fast.
Nate is drawing less viewers than Nancy Grace--whatever that means, and industry analysts--and by industry analysts, I mean people who watch TV all day, every day--says:

"Berkus is likeable, but he pings from decorating to mommy bloggers to saving money to auction tips with the occasional celebrity appearance, making it difficult to discern the show's true identity."

Nate, honey, you're cute, you're gay, this should be working. But, dear, if you're a designer, why are you doing Mommy and Me segments. I mean, you don't see Martha Stewart delivering the news.

Stick with what you know.

Don't make Oprah step away from the cakes and kick your ass for losing some of her money.

Michael Jackson's dad wants money--and a lot of it--now that his meal ticket has passed away.

Joe Jackson has filed a lawsuit, seeking somewhere between $10-$500 million from Dr. Conrad Murray, who is ALLEGEDLY responsible for Michael Jackson's death.

And, yeah, this is why Joe needs the money:

• -20% for loss of support because, dammit, Michael can't work now that he's dead.
• -40% for emotional distress because, dammit, Michael can't work now that he's dead.
• -40% for loss of comfort, aid, society, and companionship because, dammit, Michael can't work now that he's dead.

But Joe may have trouble getting all that he thinks he's owed, because Dr. Murray is broke and his insurance company refuses to cover ANY settlement, regardless of the amount.

Poor, Joe, he may actually have to find a job instead of sponging off his children.

And, speaking of lawsuits, the family of the 17-year-old boy who was ALLEGEDLY attacked by Jodie Foster last May will file a civil lawsuit against the actress. The boy's father--and by father, I mean the slacker who refuses to work when a lawsuit will pay the bills--says:

"We have retained an attorney to proceed with a civil suit against Jodie Foster for her assault since justice was not served by the DA's office."

Someone is apparently angry that the criminal case against Foster for ALLEGEDLY lashing out at, and bruising and scratching, the boy for attempting to take a photograph of her. Photos of the bruises and scratches were submitted to the LAPD, but assault charges were eventually dropped due to a lack of evidence.

Tony R--the bruised and scratched boy in question, says: "Ms. Foster viciously attacked me for taking a photo which was totally uncalled for and it scares me to think that we live in a society where it's really okay to hit people if you're a celebrity in Hollywood or if you are rich and famous."

But it's perfectly okay to sue the rich and famous because you ALLEGEDLY got scratched.

Despite all the buzz that über-stylist--I love using the word, über-- Rachel Zoe is expecting her first child, Zoe is essentially denying it.

When asked if she was pregnant, Zoe ALLEGEDLY showed off her flat stomach and said, "Not at all. I'd be home sleeping."

Still, last week, several unconfirmed reports stated that the 39-year-old stylist and husband Rodger Berman were expecting a baby. The rumors may have been fueled by her Bravo reality show, The Rachel Zoe Project because the couple's decision over whether this was the right time for them to have a child was a major topic throughout the entire season.

Or the story could have been fueled by an image of Zoe sporting a baby bump, unless it turns out to be true that all she did was to have that extra grape at lunch.

Random Musings

Is it me or is the Today Show turning into The SideShow? I mean, is there any actual news left? This morning, in the 7AM hour, the big story was Elvis' birthday. Forgive me if I'm insensitive [or just fuck off ] but hasn't he been dead for like a hundred years? So, why are we celebrating his birthday?
Then, to top it off, Matt "I'm a newsman, dammit" Lauer, promised an interview with Balloon Boy Hoax Daddy, Richard Heene, because now Richard says it wasn't a hoax--even though his wife says it was a hoax.
Hmmmm, maybe it's just me, but isn't this just another attempt by MediaWhoreHeene to get his mug on TV.
And isn't it nice of the SideShow to accommodate him?
Piss off.
There's word that Jay Leno is being cancelled.
Then comes word that he's being shipped to Hiatus, wherever that is, though I'm sure it's a country where people don't know funny because then they'd get Jay Leno.
Then comes word that he's going back to the 11:30PM timeslot.
Um, NBC? Didn't you give that to Conan? And by shipping Leno back, aren't you kind of admitting that you made a New Coke Kind Of Mistake?
But NBC says Jay Leno's "show has performed exactly as anticipated."
Oh, so you meant to drive away 52% of your audience.
Good thinking.
Y'all know, if you read my lil 'ol blog you do know, that I don't care to comment on Tiger Woods and his, ahem, personal issues. But Charlie Sheen is another matter, because Charlie Sheen is a dickwad untalented drug-and-alcohol addict who never seems to learn his lesson. The lesson? Don't drink. Don't drug. Don't get married. Again. Don't have more children. But Charlie, up to his eyeballs in trouble from his Christmas Eve alleged wife-beating incident, is turning into a giant yellow-bellied coward. Seems Charlie won't be making a personal appearance at the upcoming hearing concerning the restraining order implemented by his wife Brooke Mueller because he allegedly threatened to kill her. Charlie will testify via phone! His attorney filed the motion, and the District Attorney did not opposed. But, and this is where it gets Charlie Sheen Weird, the hearing is to get the restraining order dropped so he and his wife can be in the same room and mend their tattered drug-drunk-fest, er, marriage, and yet Charlie doesn't want to be in the same room to talk about it? Charlie Sheen is an asshat. And, he'll probably hate this more, he's a horrible actor. Can't act. Not funny.
People are idiots.
Oh, not you of course, those other people.
It seems that folks are already up in arms about President Obama's upcoming State of The Union address because the two nights available are the nights that American Idol premieres or the night that starts the last season of Lost.
Yes, only in America, where we just bungled a terrorist attack, where Wall St has come back to thumb their noses at us while they line their pockets, where unemployment goes up and home ownership goes down, we are more concerned about missing a TV show.
Now, I loves me some American Idol and I loveslovesloeves me some Lost, but, seriously.
People are stupid.
Noooooooooooooo! Not you!

Apparently Bristol Palin, daughter of The Quitter, Levi's baby momma, has her own business. Paperwork was filed in Alaska last September by Bristol, as the organizer of an new enterprise, BSMP LLC.
BSMP [Bristol Sharon Marie Palin] will :::::ahem::::: "provide lobbying, public relations, and political consulting services." The company is currently the ambassador for the Candie's Foundation, a pro-abstinence organization.
Yes, Bristol, who dropped out of high school so she could give birth to her drop-out boyfriend's love child is touting abstinence. Um, she couldn't have done that before she, um, you know, rode the Johnston?
Just like her mama, the Governor Who Couldn't, Bristol follows the "do as I say, not as I do" brand of thinking.
This one kills me.
Literally.
I.Died.
In the newest issue of Latina Magazine, Jennifer Lopez laments not winning an Oscar El Cantante, a movie nobody saw:
"I feel like I had that [Oscar worthy role] in El Cantante, but I don't even think the academy members saw it. I feel like it's their responsibility to do that, to see everything that's out there, everything that could be great. "Well, it is a little bit frustrating. It was funny; when the Oscars were on, I had just given birth on the 22nd, and the Oscars, I think, were a day or two later. I was sitting there with my twins--I couldn't have been happier--but I was like, 'How dope would it have been if I would've won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award?' 'Thank you so much! I just want to thank the academy!' But we joked about it. It's all good. Things will happen when they're supposed to happen. I have the utmost faith and no doubt that it will one day, when and if it's supposed to. You can't get all crazy twisted over it."
Jennifer Lopez winning an Oscar!
It's funny, cuz it'll never happen.

These two I lovelovelove.

Cher, and Christina Aguilera, on the set of their new movie [I know! Two fab divas together!] Burlesque.

The film is about of a burlesque club called The Burlesque Lounge, where Christina's small- town-girl-with-a-dream-and-a-talent-as-big-as-her-breasts shows off her amazing, um, voice. Yeah. Not the breasts, I don't think.

Cher plays Tess the owner of the lounge and she is apparently going to guide Christina's Ali through the perils of small-town-big-city burlesque-itude.

Of course, it doesn't hurt that the film also stars homolicious Alan Cumming, hottie Eric Dane, sexy Stanley Tucci, and The Body Cam Gigandet.

It's a big gay movie!Rachel Zoe, stylist to the stars who have no taste of their own, took to the beaches over the holidays. Apparently, however, she forgot her suit, so she just slipped into some leftover skin she had laying around. Seriously, someone give her a cookie, and then make her go away.

Lindsay Lohan is accused of stealing.

Again.

'Nuff said.

I miss Oprah. No, I don't!