The Bad and Some Good ... Monday May 16, 2022

These really are the easiest posts to compile because there are dumb people everywhere and it seems they are all trying to out-dumb one another with fear and loathing, but there were a couple of semi-bright spots … so here goes:

KENTUCKY

A homework assignment given to several middle-schoolers at Christian Academy of Louisville [CAL] encouraged them to persuade an imaginary friend to reject homosexuality.

Not so much as Don’t Say Gay, as Don’t Be Gay. Screenshots show the assignment required students to write a letter to a hypothetical friend "struggling with homosexuality" and persuade them "God's design for them is good”:

"Assume that you have known this friend since kindergarten, that you go to the same church and that you have been pretty good friends over the years until now … The aim of your letter should be to lovingly and compassionately speak truth to the person you’re talking to in a way that does not approve of any sin. Instead, TRY TO PERSUADE THEM OF THE GOODNESS OF GOD’S DESIGN for them."

CAL School System Superintendent Darin Long said the assignment had been given as “part of a unit of study which discusses 'What are humans and where is their identity, and how a person could discuss homosexuality with a friend from a biblical perspective with compassion and love.

You’re sinning; you’re wrong: that doesn’t reek of compassion and love. Judgement. Not so Christ-like, CAL.

KANSAS

It seems the GOP’s newest strategy to win votes it to trot out that old ‘Gay Is Bad’ mantra that helped George W Bush take the White House in 2000. And Kansas’ junior senator, Republican Roger Marshall, is taking his culture war fight to Hollywood and cartoons.

Marshall sent a letter to the board of the TV Parental Guidelines asking it to update its criteria for the warnings it puts on children’s programming citing “parents raising legitimate concerns on sexual orientation and gender identity content on children’s TV shows.” When asked for a list of the offensive LGBTQ+ programming, Marshall spoke of Netflix’s “She-Ra and the Princesses of Power” and Nickelodeon’s “Danger Force” and the idea that normalizing these cartoons will turn kids gay.

I used to watch Bugs Bunny slap on a wig and squeeze into a pencil skirt to pull one over on Elmer Fudd and it didn’t turn me trans.

I also watched plenty of cartoons that were decidedly straight and they didn’t turn me hetero.

As Popeye said, 'I yam what I yam,' and it ain’t no cartoon’s fault..

TEXAS

Governor Greg Abbott and other GOP state lawmakers shifted about $1 billion in federal Coronavirus aid to help pay for their campaign to arrest migrants at the U.S.-Mexico border.

We just passed a million COVID deaths in this country and the GOP is using money that could have helped a COVID patient in a publicity stunt.

But, hey, immigrants bad.

AMERICA

Retired Army Lieutenant General, disgraced ex-National Security Advisor and QAnon High Priest Loon Michael Flynn is now spouting another ridiculous lie … that COVID vaccines contain “dormant pathogens” that will be triggered into action when 5G towers issue an 18 gigahertz signal for one minute causing the IP36 gene deletion among the vaccinated to be activated and turning them into zombies.

Looks like Flynn’s brain has already been eaten by the undead.

GOOD

TEXAS

The state Supreme Court has ruled that neither GOP Governor Greg Abbott nor GOP Attorney General Kern Paxton had the authority to order child abuse investigations of families that provide certain medical treatment for their transgender children.

The downside is that the court did not go so far as to order a blanket ban on all such investigations, saying that decision was up to the Department for Family and Protective Services [DFPS].

Still, it’s a step …

FLORIDA

Lyman High School students were upset after school officials announced that they would cover up any yearbook photos that displayed any part of a “Don’t Say Gay” student-led walkout last March, causing a delay in yearbook production so the book could fit in with homophobic school board policies.

But the yearbook controversy has ended and Lyman High School students will receive a complete yearbook, without covered photos and captions, after the Seminole County Public Schools board voted unanimously to put disclaimer stickers in the yearbook instead of covering three … three … photos from that student walkout.

The photos in question? Students holding Rainbow flags and a “Love is Love” sign, along with quotes from students sharing their views on the legislation and why they participated in the protest.

A small win, but I’ll take it.

As I said, not a lot of good this week but that means We The People have to make the Good News happen by speaking up and standing up and shouting out and voting to remove those people from office who are out to harm women in their quest to take this country backwards.,

CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE!

This Bitch: Michael Q. Flynn

Lt. Gen. Mike Flynn, admitted liar and fired former National Security Advisor for the twice-impeached, one-term loser, is denying he ever called for a violent Myanmar military-style coup in the United States despite numerous reports and video evidence that that is exactly what he said.

In Dallas on Sunday, the QAnon loon told a crowd of QAnon loons that a deadly Myanmar-style coup “should happen here” in this country.

CNN says Flynn "appeared to endorse Myanmar-style coup in the United States on Sunday."

The Daily Beast said Flynn “told a QAnon conference this weekend that he supports a violent military coup in the U.S.”

Newsweek says Flynn “said that a Myanmar-like military coup “should happen” in the U.S.”

On the social media platform Telegram, an account allegedly belonging to Flynn posted this:

“Let me be VERY CLEAR—There is NO reason whatsoever for any coup in America, and I do not and have not at any time called for any action of that sort. Any reporting of any other belief by me is a boldface fabrication based on twisted reporting at a lively panel at a conference of Patriotic Americans who love this country, just as I do. I am no stranger to media manipulating my words and therefore let me repeat my response to a question asked at the conference: There is no reason it (a coup) should happen here (in America).”

But, as they say in sports circles, let’s go to the videotape:

Could you hear that? An attendee at the Lunatic-a-Paloozer asked Mikey Flynn:

“I want to know why what happened in Myanmar can’t happen here?”

And the little lying loon said:

“No reason. I mean, it should happen here.”

He should be under arrest for sedition.

NCRM

Bobservations

Carlos is a little lost with the iPhone. Every couple of days he’ll ask me how to do this or that; how to edit a photo, share a photo; hot to get an app. But, because he’s Carlos, the one thing he figured out on his own was how to change Siri’s gender and place of origin. His Siri is no longer some innocuous pleasant-sounding women, but an English gentleman, and this provides me hours of fun.

Carlos, when he can’t find his phone, calls out for Siri, and I usually respond in my own English accent:

“Sod off, ya bloody wanker, I’m right where you left me.”

But the best was the night Carlos hummed a melody and asked me the name of the song; now, while he’s musical, his signing-humming voice is less than perfect and I had no idea the tune; so, he held up Siri and asked her him, and he responded:

“I don’t know what you’re asking of me.”

Carlos was not amused and asked again and got the same response, and it was hard to tell who was angrier …Carlos or Lord Siri.

To be fair, the “essential workers” in Tuxedo’s life are the ones who put food in his dish, who let him nap of the table on the deck after a walkabout in the yard, and who hold him on their shoulders so he can sleep. But, then again, he’s always grateful.

After his breakup with Jennifer Lopez—and her mad dash to ReBoot Affleck—Alex Rodriguez is going for a glow up by teaming with Hims & Hers—the beauty company he and JLo invested in before busting up—to develop the brand’s first makeup for men:

“I wanted to create a product that solved an issue I faced every day. I realized as I was jumping from meeting to meeting, I needed something quick and easy in my routine to conceal blemishes or razor bumps.”

I think he stayed too long at the JLo.

Tim Keller, mayor of Albuquerque, New Mexico, put up a joke sign given to him by “The Daily Show” refusing checks from Thing #45:

“Just to clarify, we would accept one check from him for the amount of roughly $200,000 for services rendered.”

Keller says the city never received $200,000 it tried to charge his campaign for a rally he hosted during his presidency because … grifters gonna grift.

I had a dream the other night that Kim Kardastrophe and I shared a storage space and she was trying to get me to get my stuff out of it. That’s all.

Before leaving office, Barack Obama gave Thing #45 a warning about Michael Flynn.

Not surprisingly, Thing #45 ignored him, and made Flynn his National Security Adviser, and then fired him  for lying to Pence, after which Flynn pled guilty to lying to the FBI, before Thing #45 pardoned him. And since then, Flynn literally took the QAnon oath, has become increasingly unhinged about COVID, which he thinks was invented to help steal the 2020 election.

How did this ass become a general? Was he always an insane fuck or did he lose his mind? And to think the virus was created so Joe Biden could be elected President? If that was true, why didn’t the former guy attack the thing even harder and save the world and thus fund himself reelected?

Crazy fucker.

Has anyone else noticed that not one person in the country has said they miss Michael Elizabeth Pence? That speaks volumes about his political future.

It seems Texas Governor Greg Abbott, a Republican because of course, knew about the  looming natural gas shortages before a deep freeze plunged much of the state into blackouts a few months back, but did nothing while people died except to blame windmills.

Texas? For the love of the goddess, do better and remove this fool from office.

The co-worker who hoards gas and toilet paper told me this week that I didn’t need to wear the mask. I told her that, yes, outside, away from people, I don’t, but inside, where social distancing is hard, I do, until I’ve had my second prick.

And then this bitch tells me she has been vaccinated twice—though she never ever mentioned she was getting the vaccine—and said I was safe. I asked to see her vaccine card and she told me she didn’t have to show it. I reminded her that if she really had one, she wouldn't mind showing it.

Next up: socially distancing from the fucking stupid cuz there’s no vaccine for that!

I don't follow her on Twitter, because ...dumb, but I did see a Lauren Boebert Tweet where she announced that her was “Patriot”.

I replied: 

And it's spelled 'f-u-c-k-i-n-g i-d-i-o-t"

And it is.

It took the GQP leaders McCarthy and McConnell over five days to condemn Marjorie Taylor Greene for saying that wearing a mask is the same as sending Jews to the gas chamber. Let that sink in.

Another mass shooting in America, this time in San Jose. That’s all. I have no comment because those people in power don’t give  flying fuck about gun control as long as their pockets are lined with blood money, and the American people don’t seem to want to demand that Congress do something.

Lucas Cruz, another hot male model from España. With those baby blues and that mop of hair, he’s all kinds of dreamy.

The Funny Papers

Michael de Adder, Steve Breen, Mike Luckovich, Bill Bramhall,  Dave Whamond, Nick Anderson, Bill Bramhall, Adam Zyglis, Jack Ohman, Marc Murphy, Darrin Bell, Clay Bennett, Ed Wexler, JD Crowe, Ed Hall

Tuesday Thought #3

The Funny Papers

Darrin Bell, David Horsey, Nate Beeler, Scott Stantis, RJ Matson, Paul Szep, Bruce Plante, Clay Bennett, Steve Breen, Chris Britt, 

Bobservations

Believe it or not, but some Republican lawmakers in Utah are so pleased with _____’s decision to shrink two Utah national monuments that they want to honor him with his own road, the “_____ Utah National Parks Highway.”

But not if state Senator Jim Dabakis, a Democrat, has his way. If the House passes the bill, then Dabakis wants to attach an amendment to the Senate bill that would rename the frontage road that runs along the would-be _____ Utah National Parks Highway; and that frontage road would be called the “Stormy Daniels Rampway.”

Bam!

Sidenote: Dabakis, the co-founder of Equality Utah, is the only openly gay member of the Utah legislature.

The Gays can do snark better than anyone.

Speaking of gays … can we stop calling them gay athletes or gay actors or gay … “whatevers”, and just say they are athletes or actors or whatever. No one calls Tom Brady a straight football player, so why was Michael Sam a gay football player?

I mean, if you wanna say Sam is a football player who is openly gay, or Adam Rippon is a skater who is openly gay, that’s good. But they aren’t gay “whatevers”; they’re people who happen to be gay.

I long for the day when the gay label will end and we’ll just be people who can say “This is my husband,” and can either be a man or a woman and it really makes no difference.

In _____’s continuing war on Transgender people, the Education Department has announced that it will not investigate or take action on any complaints filed by transgender students who are banned from restrooms that match their gender identity.

Hate; once again hate from the _____ team.

Poor Mike Huckabee. First he’s an ass, then his daughter becomes the Lying Laughingstock of the US; and now this …

Mike Huckleberry joined the board of the Country Music Association Foundation on one morning and then was forced off by board members in protest of his anti-gay views twenty-four hours later.

One board member, Jason Owen, who is gay and a father, and manages Little Big Town, Kacey Musgraves and Faith Hill, said:

“Huckabee speaks of the sort of things that would suggest my family is morally beneath his, and uses language that has a profoundly negative impact upon young people all across this country. Not to mention how harmful and damaging his deep involvement with the NRA is.”

Huckabee, for his part, whined like a little bitch, as is his habit:

“It appears that I will make history as having the shortest tenure in the history of the CMA Foundation Board.  I genuinely regret that some in the industry were so outraged by my appointment that they bullied the CMA and the Foundation with economic threats and vowed to withhold support for the programs for students if I remained.  I had NO idea I was that influential!  …  The message here is ‘Hate Wins.’”

Actually, asshat, the message here is that Hate Loses.

Wisconsin Governor, and Republican because, of course,  Scott Walker has come up with a strategy to stop the long string of Republican losses in special elections: he has stopped calling special elections.

Walker has refused to call special elections for Assembly District 42 and Senate District 1 by c;aiming that the state House term was almost over and it could wait until the midterms. But is that true, or is Walker the GOP will lose these right-leaning seats like they did in January when Democrat Patty Schactner flipped the heavily rural, pro-Trump Senate District 10. Walker called that special election a wake-up call and is now refusing to have any more special elections.

But Democrats are fighting back; the National Democratic Redistricting Committee [NDRC]) is suing to force Walker to hold those special elections.

This is how the GOP works these days; if they think they’ll lose a special election, they simply cancel all elections.

In Sorry Not Sorry news … _____’s former NSA advisor, and traitor, Michael Flynn has been forced to sell his house to pay his legal bills after pleading guilty to lying to FBI agents about his Russian contacts.

Again, Sorry Not Sorry… but look on the bright side Mike, prison will be free for you.

In This Makes Me Smile So Hard My Face Hurts news … _____’s fortune” has dropped some $400 million since he took office.

Sure, you can blame real estate—markets in New York City continue to struggle—but _____’s lack of personality is also to blame.

The value of _____’s hotel licensing and management company dropped an estimated $50 million in the last year because the _____ brand is fading; markets in Toronto and New York, where investors have removed the president’s name from hotels in New York and Toronto, and this week workers in Panama pried the _____ name off a hotel there.

The Fat Bastard has dropped 244 slots on the Forbes list, making him the 766th-richest person in the world.

At the top sits Jeff Bezos with an estimated $112 billion, which makes _____’s hated Washington Post owner about 37 times richer than he is. 

My face hurts still.

And from this, too … the turnout for a rally on Sunday at the Lincoln Memorial in support of _____ that was organized by the Gays for _____ was attended by about 100 people.

So, there are at least 100 gays that are dumb.

Last week at _____ golf courses around the world, the presidential Seal began appearing …and by Presidential “Seal,” I don’t mean the Fat Bastard in a water tank having fresh fish thrown at him to eat, but the actual Presidential Seal of the United States.

Trouble is, that’s kind of illegal …go figure … and now _____ is trying to say that the seal was erected by enthusiastic members in honor of Presidents Day weekend.

Tell me another story, Nana.

Lastly … The Mens …from the top … Andy Favreau, who plays blond beefcake on Champions, a show with a sassy gay boy on it. Jordan Buhat is the hot drug-dealing cutie from Grown-ish, and Morgan Spector, a CIA agent with dimples for days on Homeland.

Just sayin'.