Random Musings

I just finished reading Guts by Kristen Johnston.

If you don't know her, she's an actress, most well-known for appearing on #rd Rock from the Sun. I never saw that show, because of a severe case of John Lithgow loathing, but I've always enjoyed Kristen on talk shows; she's quite funny, and very self-deprecating, and I am all about self-deprecating humor.

Oh, and humor aimed at others, too. But I digress,

Guts tells the story, and stories, of Kristen Johnston's life, as a Freak in school; of feeling like an 'other'--feelings which resonated with me as I reflected on my own school days, or daze. It also chronicles her addiction to pain medications and alcohol, and how, while appearing in a play in London, her stomach literally exploded.

Hence, Guts.

But it isn't all horror stories and drug addiction,. It's recovery, from the whole stomach thing and from addiction. it's the story of being different and feeling different, and how long it takes some of us, no matter what our circumstances, to realize we aren't different, we're just us.

It's hysterically written. You'll be laughing one minute and then be horrified the next, but it's a great, great story.

Guts: the Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster by Kristen Johnston. 

Get it.

The GOP is taking Barack Obama to task for his alleged politicizing of the capture and death of Osama bin Laden.

Um, GOP? STFU.

See, bin Laden was captured and killed under his watch, so he has earned the right to talk about it.

And, if politicizing that bothers you, take a stroll back in time, to W's "Wanted: Dead or Alive" speech. Or even back to W's fighter pilot arrival on that aircraft carrier and the banner that said "Mission Accomplished" when it wasn't.

And then take a gander at W's 2004 re-election campaign when he used fear of reprisal from al Quaeda to win the election.

Oh, GOP, you're all so Bible-thumping, but you missed the passage about those who have have no sin casting the first stone.

Again, STFU.

Okay, when I first saw that Tan Mom--seriously, she doesn't look tan, she looks like a burn victim--who is in trouble for bringing her young child into a tanning booth with her, I was disgusted.

Then I saw the mom, who obviously has issues with her looks because she's addicted to tanning and looks at least twice her forty years. Her skin is as chewy and sick looking as leather, and all I could think of was the N-word.

Not that one: Naugahyde.

Seriously sad.

Richard Grenell says he was "hounded from the Romney campaign by anti-gay conservatives" and so he tendered his resignation.

Was it the anti-gay forces who bashed the Romney campaign for hiring an openly gay man when Mitt Romney clearly does not like the gays? Or, was he chased away by his own Tweets and his own words?

I think it was a combination of both. I mean, how can you have a spokesman who has Tweeted some very hurtful and harmful things about other public figures, including some homophobic Tweets about Rachel Maddow?

His self-loathing drove him from the campaign. His own words.

Sitting down to watch Smash this week, the show began with, of course, a fabulous showtune, "Another Opening, Another Show."

I was giddy as a schoolgirl, singing along, and trying to get Carlos to join in.

But, and I cannot fathom this, he said, while he may have heard the song before, he said, and I'm so sorry, He.Does.Not.Know.The.Words.

I am seriously afraid the Gay Mafia and the Showtune Squad will be knocking on our front door any minute asking for the return of his Gay Membership card, the Toaster Oven, and his copy of The Gay Agenda.

Pray for him.

Sweet Tweet:

New book; er, books.

I have a tendency to read more than one book at a time. I was reading Stephen King's 11/22/63--which I found overly long...I mean, does every King book need to be 800 pages--while I was also reading Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay on my Kindle--Yes...I got a Kindle...though I will not stop buying 'real' books.

Now, I am onto The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta, which tells a story of The Rapture, which isn't really a Rapture, but more of a Sudden Departure because it didn't take all those God-fearing, God-worshipping folks, but it did take some of them, and some non-believers and, gasp, even some homosexuals.

So, what if The Rapture came and didn't take the ones who thought they should go? And what if it did take the ones who didn't believe? Or the ones who, according to those God-fearing-and-worshipping folks, shouldn't have been allowed to go? How do those Leftovers feel about being leftovers?

And, I am also reading The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon. 

It's an older book, first published in 1988, but I recently saw the movie based on the novel, and I really enjoyed it, so i decided to see what the novel was like.

It tells the about a young man, graduating from college, and how he spends that last summer before "life" is supposed to start. And how that last summer shapes what may, or may not, be his "life".

It's kind of a coming of age story, though, from what I saw in the film, it's also a coming to life story.

And, of course, I am scouring Amazon for a new Kindle read, so....there will be more. 

I've given up on Idol because, seriously, except for Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, none of the winners have had any great success. In fact, some of the losers have become more successful than the winners.

Daughtry, JHud. Adam Lambert.

But, I was channel surfing the other night as the show started and I was stunned to see that Miss Ryan Seacrest is still coming down the big stairs as the show opens, like some sort of cheap Vegas showgirl.

Ego much.

And I'm also not much for The Voice. 

I don't care for Blake Shelton or Adam Levine, and Cee Lo's little tiny hands kinda scare me. I do enjoy, though, watching to see how drunk Christina is acting.

But then even that gets sad and I click away.

And, in addition to not watching Idol, I also don't watch The Apprentice because Trump is a toupee-wearing, ego-0manaiacal blowhard.

But I digress. it isn't Trump and His Magic Hair that has gotten me a'scurred, it's the appearance of former Idol loser Clay Aiken.

He's on the show this time around and I saw a picture of him with his new face.

His new jacked up face.

Seriously Clay? Why?

Did anyone read that story of the woman who took her lottery ticket back to the store to see if it was a winner and, after scanning the ticket, she was told she hadn't won anything?

Well, she threw the ticket away. And another woman found it, took it into the store, and had it scanned and found that it was a MILLION DOLLAR TICKET!

Now, the woman who bought the ticket is suing the woman who found the ticket because she wants her million. But the finder has already spent some of the money.

Is this a case of :finders keepers" or should the ticket purchaser be allowed to recoup her winnings? And, if so, should the finder have to pay her for the money she spent?

My personal thought is that the store, and the company who made the faulty scanner, should somehow be involved in paying off this woman, After all, had the scanner not been wrong, she never would have thrown the ticket out.

What do you think?

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

Hey, Hines Ward?!? You just won Dancing With the Stars! How are you gonna celebrate?
By getting a DUI, I guess, which does not mean "Dancing Under the Influence" but "Driving Under the Influence".

Police officers Ward was pulled over, in DeKalb County, Georgia, about 2AM one morning after swerving down the street and hitting a curb in his Aston Martin.
He took a number of tests on the scene. Tap. Jazz. Interpretive Ballet. And he failed all of them, along with a variety of intoxication tests, including a hand-held breath test, which came out positive for alcohol consumption. Ward ALLEGEDLY became agitated during the tests, and swayed back and forth while with officers and even mixed up the letters in the alphabet. He later refused to give a breath sample on a Breathalyzer machine at the DeKalb County jail.
He did admit to having the requisite two beers before getting behind the wheel of his car, but he may wanna rethink that. Two beers does not make ones BAC nearly twice the legal limit, unless he meant two cases, or two kegs.
His lawyer, however, is singing a different tune, probably after getting a hefty retainer check. He says Ward was not under the influence and that his cooperation with the police was uncanny.
What is uncanny is how a grown-ass man can't remember his alphabet, and some over-paid, self-entitled athlete can't just hire a driver so her can drink all the Corona in the place without endangering anyone else on the road.
I wonder if he'd killed someone on his drunk driving spree, how his lawyer might have spun it.
 
Oh, those Jersey Shore kids.
Fights. Peeing in public. Arrests, Car crashes. Lawsuits.

Yup, now it's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's turn to be sued for $1 million.
It seems that Gotham NYC Entertainment--whcih sounds like a cover for some low-rent porn-making company....ALLEGEDLY--is claiming Sorrentino breached their contract when he fired them in May for "lack of performance."
The management company says the 'Jersey Shore' star failed to give them the required 30-day notice to fix any problems before he terminated their services. Gotham says they served as Sorrentino's managers since 'The Jersey Shore' premiered on MTV in 2009 and have helped him take "his career from relative obscurity to become an international celebrity."
International douchebag, maybe.
Still, The Situation, illiterate as he may be, he most likely has the cash to shell out should he lose. He ALLEGEDLY made $100,000 per episode for the fourth season of Jersey Crappola.
Except, maybe he won't be getting any more MTV paychecks. Sorrentino, perhaps realizing he can't pretend to be in his 20s anymore, now that he clearly looks to be closing in on forty, has decided to bail on the fifth season of the reality show.
Such a shame.

Singer and serial dieter, or is it cereal dieter, Carnie Wilson is ALLEGEDLY facing a foreclosure on her L.A. home.

According to documents from the L.A. County Recorder's Office, it seems that Wilson has defaulted on her mortgage and still owes a whopping $1.6 million on her house. And she ALLEGEDLY has just a few days to come up with the cash or her home will hit the auction block.
Wilson, who recently appeared with fellow Wilson Phillips members Wendy Wilson and Chynna Phillips in 'Bridesmaids,' also made headlines last fall due to her weight. And a lawsuit.
Wilson was ALLEGEDLY fired as spokeswoman for Fresh Diet, a food delivery service, when it became apparent that she had actually gained weight while on the program.
Cereal dieter.
But I guess you can't blame her, really. She ALLEGEDLY lost 19 pounds while using the service, but gained it all back when she launched her own.....wait for........it's not a diet........wait for it.....she launched her own CHEESECAKE company.
Now, she is ALLEGEDLY fat and happy, fat and sassy, and maybe fat and homeless, saying, "I'm fat as f**k, what can I say? You know, after all these years, it's just like we are who we are and it's a struggle for me and sometimes I'm heavier and sometimes I'm thinner."
Sometimes I have a home, and sometimes I don't.


This makes me giggle.

It seems that former " 3rd Rock from the Sun" actress Kristen Johnston recently found herself on a cross-country flight with Nadya Suleman and all twelve of her children.
On the flight, from New York City to Los Angeles, the Suleman gang ALLEGEDLY took up most of business class, and were being unruly and crying, while the flight was delayed for more than two hours.
The crying babies....the TWELVE crying babies....proved too much for Johnson, so she walked over to Nadya and told her to keep those kids quiet. Nadya ALLEGEDLY fired back: “How would you like me to keep eight 2-year-olds quiet?”
Kristen ALLEGEDLY responded, “Get more help!”
Nadya shouted back, “Why don’t you grow a baby and get a life!”
Why.Don't.You.Grow.A.Baby?
Um, why don't you stop?
Seriously. Just stop.