Bobservations

The other night, while watching the telly, Tuxedo climbed into my lap, curled up and fell asleep. Ozzo walked over to Carlos, who tried to get Ozzo into his lap, but Ozzo knows who’s the boss, and when he looked at me for permission, I said:

“No.”

Carlos said:

“It’s unfair. The cats can get on all the furniture, but Ozzo can’t.”

I replied:

“The cats have retractable claws. Ozzo doesn’t and he can ruin the furniture.”

Carlos said:

“But Tuxedo is in your lap, why can’t Ozzo sit in mine.”

I replied:

“Because there are different rules for dogs and cats in this house, just like there are different rules for white people and Mexicans.”

Ouch. Lucky for me, he laughed ... and then started building a wall.

Why don’t I like Walmart, you ask …

In Wichita Falls, Texas, local police were called to a Walmart after a woman was reported to be drinking wine from a Pringles can and riding an electric cart in the parking lot. Officers found the woman at a nearby restaurant and told her she was banned from the Walmart. 

Imagine that … banned from Walmart,

One morning I heard Carlos get up to take his shower. I, however, was nowhere near ready to wake up, so I drifted back to sleep where I dreamt that Carlos had gone to some sunny beach spot for a work seminar. And I stayed home; except I didn’t.

I snuck off to surprise him. But when I got to the unnamed, though gorgeous, beach hotel—and let me just say, I dream in vivid color and detail, so it was some swanky spot—and buzzed Carlos’ room, he didn’t answer. I tried several times that first day and he never answered. I thought maybe he was at a seminar class, so I coerced a maid into letting me into the room where, and this is a dream, remember, so there’s no rhyme or reason, I stole his shoes. I guess I was hoping he’d realize it was me, except he didn’t. I still didn’t hear from him.

So, I called his cell phone; it rang and rang and rang, and when it finally picked up, it clearly wasn’t Carlos but some other man. I was pissed. And then I heard Carlos behind me ….

Sweetie pie? Sweetie pie? … It’s time to get up …

And there he was on the bed  waking me up from my dream. And  even after I told him what he’d done in my dream, he never apologized for ditching me and not answering his phone or explaining who that was who picked up when I called!

A traveler carrying a firearm boarded a Delta Air Lines flight from Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport and flew to Tokyo Narita International Airport on January 3, according to a statement from the Transportation Security Administration [TSA].

The security breach came two weeks into the government shutdown, during which TSA agents have been required to work but have not received paychecks, however, the TSA dismissed suggestions the government shutdown contributed to the security lapse.

Uh huh.

I have an idea for the next government shutdown, and you know there’ll be one as long as _____ is in office and doesn’t get his way. Howsabout rather than furloughing workers, or forcing people to work without pay, a government shutdown means that the president, his Cabinet, all members of the House and Senate, all state officials from the governor on down, work without pay?

Why punish the workers? Punish those responsible for the shutdown, those who refuse to work together on all sides.

That’s what I’d do.

That was then ….

“I honestly try and walk with Jesus Christ every day … My relationship with Jesus Christ is not lip service. It is of utmost importance to me. It is even more important than my relationship with my wife. I know that my wife considers her relationship with Him more important than her relationship with me. Ultimately, that’s who I’m going to have to face. That’s going to be a great day.”—Born-again Christian and former World Series MVP John Wetteland

This is now … John Wetteland was arrested and charged with child sex abuse. Wetteland allegedly sexually abused a 4-year-old relative beginning in 2004 when he forced the child to perform a sex act on him.

Just sayin’.

Carol Channing has passed away at 97.

Five years ago, when she was asked if there was anything she hadn’t gotten around to doing yet, she replied:

“No, I did everything that I ever thought was marvelous.”

And that’s how you live.

RIP Miss Channing

As someone who is utterly out-of-touch, woefully inept, morally bankrupt, inarticulate as fuck, _____ actually Tweeted praise for himself for serving the National Football Champion Clemson Tigers fast food at their celebratory White House visit.

Alas, because he’s dumb as a stump, he bungled the spelling of the word “hamburgers” and instead called them “hamberders” and, well, Burger King ran with it.

And then there was Barack and Hillary ...

And then this ...

A couple of news shows, with a couple of new hotties …

The Passage is the story of a botched U.S. government experiment that turns a group of death row inmates into highly infectious vampires; I’m a sucker for a vampire tale … see what I did there?

It stars McKinley Belcher III, top … I’m assuming …  and Henry Ian Cusick—a lost hottie on the bottom right—so it might be worth a look-see.

Then there’s Valley of the Boom, a look at the tech boom of the 1990s in Silicon Valley. One of the leads is Dakota Shapiro, bottom left; he has that kind of not-hot-but-hot look about him.

I Didn't Say It ...

David Barton, evangelical 'minister' and founder of WallBuilders, on what he thinks will happen now that DOMA is dead: 

“Now that there is no longer a definition of marriage as a man and a woman and DOMA’s struck down, guess what? Guess what happens in the military? Guess what is going to happen in the military? Guess who is going to enlist in the military just so they can have gay marriages and force chaplains to do that?”

Gays flood to the military so they can get married … and shot at in war zones.

Funny, Barton doesn’t seem to have a problem with all the folks who joined the military to get the GI Bill for their educations.

Henry Rollins, on the upcoming elections and the GOP:

"Bad News for the Haters Dept.: You realize that all those obnoxious 16-year-olds you see everywhere, texting their friends who are standing next to them, will be able to vote in the 2016 elections. Do you think you will be able to sell them on your anti-gay/anti-woman/anti-brown/black platform? Do you think they want to end up like you? I bet they don't. Governor Bobby Jindal said that you all have to stop being the stupid party. I don't think you can do it. How did equality become political? Because you can't handle science, change or the truth. America is on the move, you are not."

Out of step. Out of time.

Look at what’s happening in Texas this week; that’s the GOP.

Neil Patrick Harris, when asked about the possibility that he will host next year's Oscars:

"That's the kind of question if you say, 'No, I don't want to do it,' you look like a dick. And if you say, 'I'm dying to do it,' you look like a dick. So you're kind of left in the middle."

Although, if I say I want him to do it, I don’t look like a dick, I look like a raving awards show queen.

And I’m fine with that.

Julie Chen, on the racism on Big Brother, and how CBS aired the remarks in an effort to drive the story:

"CBS and Big Brother showed it because it is now driving a story. It is now affecting how the other players want to see her gone. You know, if it didn’t drive story, and it didn’t have a dynamic on what it is to the elements of the game, it maybe, you can’t just put it in there and say, 'Judge her, everybody.' It has to have to do with the game and the rules of the game...She and the other houseguests have no idea that it has made national headlines."

Actually, CBS first non-commented about the racist and homophobic remarks of several players, saying it wasn’t their job to police/judge the players.

But when it became a news story, suddenly CBS is using it to ‘drive’ the story?

Or raise the ratings?

Paul Katami, on leading the fight to end Prop H8, and how he felt when he was legally able to marry Jeff Zarrillo: 

"I felt taller, I felt lighter. I felt like I could breathe a little easier and I couldn't wait to call him husband...We fought for so long to be able to use that language that defines who we are privately and also associates us publicly...It makes a huge difference."

Wow. That sounds awful. I can see why NOM and all those hate groups rallied against marriage equality if it causes such absolute joy.

Jeff Zarrillo, on marrying Paul Katami after their four-plus-year long battle with the courts: 

"It was just such an amazing week because our lives changed in such a profound way, as well as thousands of others. You've seen wedding after wedding on TV and in the newspaper; we saw a lot in person when we were in San Francisco this weekend. Just seeing how their lives are changing because of our lawsuit has been really profound and frankly, a little heavy to take in at times."

It’s a new day, but, one day, all these same-sex couples getting married will just be couples getting married.

It’ll be no big deal.
As it should be.

Carol Channing, on the idea that Johnny Depp may play her in a film: 
"Every time I see someone impersonate me, I can't help but think I must have a hormonal imbalance. Johnny Depp has said he wants to play me in a movie. Wouldn't that be great? People say, "But he is a man," but it doesn't surprise me at all. I can’t remember the last time one of my impersonators didn't have a 5 o'clock shadow."

I think Depp would be perfect.

Random Musings

Okay, so y'all know I'm no fan of Mittsy Romney, right? i mean, his campaign, between the gaffes, the lies and the flip-flops, was a blogger heaven. I relished every single Why Mittsy? post, and every The Height Of GOP Stupidity entry, but now?

I'm moving on.

There are a lot of posts about what he said in his concession speech and what he didn't say and how he said it or didn't say it and what he meant. A lot of nit-picking about the how and why he lost.

But not from me.

I'm'a take a page from our newly elected President, and I'm'a move....

Forward.

Well, you knew it would happen. You knew Mama Grizzly Bore™ would snow-shoe over to F**ksNews on election night to stir up her own brand of crazy.

But what you may not have known is what she would look like.

Mall hair, frosted lip gloss.

I couldn’t tell if she was auditioning for the touring company of Broadway’s Xanadu, or starring in a new version of that Fox classic: Married With Homophobic and Unwed pregnant Children.

Or maybe she was channeling her inner meth head.

Either way, could you imagine that as Veep?

Dodged.A.Bullet.

Is it me, or does anyone else think Michael Feinstein, Liza Minnelli and Carol Channing all have the same voice. Think about it—Google them if you have no idea who I’m talking about, though you should slap yourself first.

I want to throw a dinner party and invite these there just to listen to them speak. And to make sure they aren’t the same person.

Lizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I spent a good deal of time yesterday reveling in the election results, especially the LGBT friendly results all across this country. So, today, I’d like to point out the asshat who, well, got their asses handed to them by the voters:

Tea Party freshman Representative Allen West, who has claimed that there are 80 communists posing as Democrats in the US House, won't have to worry about that a minute longer.

He’s out.

Former Hawaii Governor, Linda Lingle, is also out.

Lingle once compared same-sex marriage to incest, and once, while governor, invited a group of LGBT Hawaiians into her office so she could veto a civil union bill right in front of them, lost her bid to the US Senate.

Snap.

You be the judge:

Carlos and I watched the movie 50/50 the other night, where the absolutely adorkable, Joseph Gordon-Leavitt  plays a young man with cancer. During the film, there was a reference to Terms of Endearment, and later I noticed how much Angelica Huston—who played the mother—looked like MacLaine.

I drove Carlos insane every time Huston appeared onscreen, by pausing the movie and shrieking, “Isn’t that Shirley MacLaine?”

More great news from Election Day:

Alan Grayson, one loudest, smartest, and most progressive members of the US House is back, baby, winning his race in Florida on Tuesday night over his Republican challenger Todd Long.

Grayson was first elected in 2008, but lost in the Tea Party wave of 2010 by 18 points. This time, however, he bested his opponent by 25 points—a 43 point swing—one of the biggest records in history.

Tweets of The Week:

Happy 90th Miss Channing!

Broadway diva Carol Channing is ninety years old today!