It's Snarkurday!

From my old hometown comes a Kanye Tale ... it seems Kanye West’s ‘Saint Pablo’ tour took him to Sacramento, where he performed just three songs before ranting about Jay-Z and Beyoncé and then quitting the show:

“Beyoncé, I was hurt! ‘Cause I heard that you said you wouldn’t perform unless you won Video of the Year over me, and over ‘Hotline Bling.’ In my opinion—now, don’t go tryin’ to diss Beyoncé, she is great. Taylor Swift is great. We are all great people, we are all equal. But sometimes, we be playin’ the politics too much and forgettin’ who we are—just to win. Fuck winning! Fuck lookin’ cool! I’ve been sent here to give y’all my truth—even at the risk of my own life, even at the risk of my own success, my own career. I’ve been sent here to give y’all the truth. Jay Z, call me, bruh! You still ain’t call me! Jay Z, call me! Jay Z, I know you got killers, please don’t send them at my head. Just call me! Talk to me like a man!”

Okay, so it doesn’t make a lot of sense but then not much Kanye says does so I’ll break it down for you ... he’s gotten his panties in a twist because he believes Beyoncé only agreed to perform at the VMAs this year because MTV promised her that she would win Video of the Year.

Huh, wasn’t it just a few years ago that he took to the stage at the VMAs to say Bey was the greatest?

I guess Kanye fell off his meds and the stage in Sacramento. But the best part is the video of his stunned fans in the audience after he walked off, chanting in unison,

“Fuck you Kanye!”

Now, if they’d just stop buying his music maybe he’d go away.

Well, JLo dumped Casper Smart recently and so she’s been alone about twelve seconds ... time to get a new man? Or maybe an old man?

Just as news broke that JLo’s ex-husband, Marc Anthony, had split from his third wife Shannon De Lima—JLo was Number Two—Lopez and Anthony appeared at the Latin Grammy Awards and shared a kiss onstage.

And now, of course, rumors are running that JLo was responsible for the breakup. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn’t, but she sure did take a run at his lips the moment she heard he might be single.

Could there be a fourth marriage for Anthony and a fourth for Lopez as well? Who cares ... if it happens it’ll last about two years because that’s the going rate for a Lopez-Anthony marriage.

Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna finally had their reality show baby, one Dream Kardashian. Dream? From a nightmare of a couple who can’t seem to stay together longer than it takes to get a girl pregnant?

Okurrr. Well, apparently there was no drama during the birth and media outlets are saying Rob and Chyna are getting along now, for about five minutes, but that won’t last long if That Woman has anything to say about it.

Apparently Granny That Woman got her Depends in a snit because the baby was named ‘Dream’ and not some ‘K’ name as they are ALLEGEDLY contract-bound to do.

“[That Woman] was there and told both Rob and Chyna that the baby’s name needed to start with a K. She said it was all about branding. But they didn’t listen. [That Woman] was yelling, ‘We all agreed as a family it was a K name! I’m so done, I can’t believe you reneged on this,’ and stormed out screaming.”

Kream Kardastrophe? Well, there is a certain ring to it.

I don’t think all supermodels are dumb, but there is a certain stereotype that most of them are a little low on the IQ point scale. Take for example Kate Upton ... Kate’s fiancé, Justin Verlander plays for the Detroit Tigers and he seemed a shoe-in for the American League Cy Young Award. He didn’t win, but being a gentleman and a human being accepted the loss via Twitter rather graciously:

“Just want to say thank you to all the @officialBBWAA who voted for me.”

But Upton was furious and took to Twitter—because that’s where you go when you’re a pissy little supermodel or a President-elect—to vent:

“Hey @MLB I thought I was the only person allowed to fuck @JustinVerlander ?! What 2 writers didn't have him on their ballot?”

And she wasn’t done ...

“He had the majority of 1st place votes and 2 writers didn't have him on their ballots?!! can you pick more out of touch people to vote?@MLB”

And then she dished up a conspiracy theory:

“@MLB how many 2nd place votes? huh? he lost to Justin in 1st place votes. If Tampa bay writers weren't paid off...”

Unfortunately no one, including Justin, could pry Kate’s hands from her phone and keep her from acting like a petulant child who didn’t get what she wanted ... an award for her boyfriend. Seriously ... model’s and Republican presidents, shouldn’t be allowed to Tweet.

So Mimi and her ex-fiancé James Packer are spending more time fighting about their breakup than they actually spent together as a couple, or at least it seems like that.

In fact, Mariah, whose song “All I Want For Christmas” is a big hit at the holidays now feels that  Packer is trying to ruin Christmas for her with this breakup and so she is demanding ... demanding ...  the pay-out from their pre-nup—set to be about $50 million—even though the two never made it down the aisle. She never even got to put on the dress, though maybe that was because she ordered a size 2??!!??

A source—and you know it Mariah phoning the tabloids from the inside of a bottle of champagne—says:

“[Packer] is causing Mariah severe emotional distress especially at such an important time of her life. He knows she is the queen of the holiday season and she knows he’s trying to ruin it for her.”

Mimi is the queen of the holiday season? Now that’s funny stuff!

Anyway, Mimi and Jimmy are said to be fighting over her sure-to-be-craptastic E! reality show, which chronicles the run-up to the wedding that wasn’t and now James wants all footage of him removed from the show. He also wants his ring back, but, hey, it’s rumored to be worth ten million so Mariah won’t be FedExing it back anytime soon. In fact, she’s taken to Instagramming pictures of the ring just to taunt Packer.

In addition, Mariah says she was so distraught about the breakup she had to cancel several dates on her South American tour and packer owes her for that; Packer, for his part, says the dates were cancelled for lack of interest and ticket sales and that seems more plausible.

Mariah also wants James to pay for the mansion in Calabasas they leased together, whining that he “left her with a pile of expenses. He abandoned her with a house full of staff.”

And by staff, I think we all know he means burly men who carry Mariah from room-to-room.

Poor Mimi. My.Heart.Breaks.

Well, well, well ... after his last tirade in Sacramento, and cutting the concert short after just thirty minutes, Kanye West has been hospitalized.

He was supposed to perform in LA after the Sacramento show but canceled at the last minute and then came word that Kanye was canceling the rest of the tour because he was “exhausted.”

Apparently, though, he was Lindsay Lohan Exhausted because he was taken to UCLA Medical Center for psychiatric evaluation ... in handcuffs.  According to LAPD sources, officers responded to a call for a welfare check on Kanye while he was at his trainer, Harley Pasternak’s home “acting erratically.”

How does one tell when Kanye is acting erratically?

When paramedics arrived, Kanye was calmer, but his team of handlers convinced him it was best to go; he was handcuffed to a gurney and transported to the hospital. Word now is that he claims to be overworked, not sleeping, still distraught after the Kim Kardastrophe West being robbed in Paris and, well, perhaps just crazy.

Sleep deprivation does mess with your mind, but it can also be a symptom of, say, the manic stage of a bipolar disorder. And that doesn’t seem so far-fetched, given the range of moods and emotions one sees in Kanye West at any given time; the “manic” periods when he makes almost no sense—like his rant in Sacramento—and the times when he acts angry and paranoid.

Here’s hoping he gets the help that he clearly needs ... and that part of his rehab is to never set foot on a stage again.

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

There is talk that Charlie Sheen has stabilized somewhat since his last breakdown; you know, when he was fired from his millions-of-dollars-a-week TV show, and took his crazy on a tour that fizzled and failed as soon as it started. But then FX brought in a dump-truck full of cash and a new show, Anger Management, was born.

But since he met his future ex-wife, the porn star Brett Rossie, he has ALLEGEDLY gone off the rails. Again. The moment he met this I-Get-Paid-To-F**k-Strangers-On-Video star, Charlie stopped production on his show, fired his management team, evicted two of his former wives and baby mama’s from their homes, and got engaged. And now he’s back to missing work again, which is what started the whole, say Goodbye to 2.5 Men money mess to begin with.

According to sources — and it might be Lohan since she was a guest on the show and a trainwreck in her own right — Charlie’s absences have forced Lionsgate — the show’s studio — to push production schedules back and to use stand-ins for Charlie in certain scenes. And now many in the Anger cast are so, well, angry that they are threatening to stop working if the absences persist.

A Lionsgate spokesperson declined to comment on the situation, and Sheen’s publicist, Jeff Ballard — who, let’s not forget, gets a percentage of Sheen’s money — denies the show ever used stand-ins or shot around Sheen:

“We did not shoot last week because another member of the cast was sick. Charlie is always ready, willing and able to shoot Anger Management and looks forward to returning on Monday.”

Ready, willing and able, but he doesn’t seem to say Charlie was actually there. Still, it would behoove Charlie to stick it out. See, Charlie took a pay cut — to just $100,000 per episode — in exchange for 40% of the show’s profits in syndication, and he’s already show 65 of the contracted 100 episodes. If he makes it to the full order, he’ll be making enough money to bathe in cocaine and hookers for the rest of his life.

If.

Okay, so Dayanara Torres used to be Missus Marc Anthony before he dumped her ass to marry the bigger ass — JLo — who would become the next Missus Marc Anthony and the next ex-Missus Marc Anthony.

But this is all about Dayanara. See, last year she decided to play the Ex-Wife Lotto and filed papers asking that her child support be raised from $13,000 a month — AKA $156,000 annually — to  $113,000 a month — AKA $1,356,000 annually — because Anthony children are expensive. Or something.

Dayanara cried that Marc makes over a million dollars a month, so $113,000 isn’t so much to ask, and they’re still duking it out in court because, well, now Marc also has those Jello Kids to support as well, and you just KNOW Jennifer Lopez ain’t doing it on 13G’s a month!

Dayanara recently claimed in court that she was so hard up for money that she had to sell her house and move into an apartment in the Valley, but Marc Anthony has a whole different story about why Dayanara fled Beverly Hills.

He says part of her problems stem from the fact that she was banging a married guy and when this guy’s wife found out, she showed up to Dayanara’s house in Beverly Hills and started calling Dayanara  a “Whore” — over a bullhorn, no less!

Well, the scorned wife showed up regularly at Dayanara’s house — and Marc Anthony even admits to sending his security people over there — and that’s why Dayanara moved; not because it’s hard to raise two children on $13,000 a month.

Dayanara denies that the Bullhorn-whore drama ever happened.

Rich people problems. Well, rich people with sluts for ex-wives problems, I guess.

A while back the Chipotle restaurant chain came up with an interesting Scarecrow commercial about their food being all fresh and stuff and enlisted the help of Frank Ocean to sing a song — a cover of “Pure Imagination” — in the animated piece. Chipotle advanced Ocean the sum of $212,500, with the promise of an additional $212,500 after he finished the song.

Well, Frank never recorded the song, and left the project because he thought it was a campaign to promote responsible farming and didn’t like that Chipotle was going to stamp their logo at the very end of the ad.

What? They put their logo on a commercial? Yeah, so Frank walked and Fiona Apple came in to sing the song and the commercial was a big beautiful hit for Chipotle. Only, now they want their money back from Ocean, and when he didn’t return it they filed a lawsuit.

So, Frank decided it would be best to save himself some hefty lawyer fees — because you know he would have lost the case — and he mailed a cashier’s check for $212,500 to Chipotle with that message in the memo line:

It was, and I’ll say it, quite the Chris Brown thing to do, you know, like after Chris Brown got through slapping Ocean in that LA parking lot last year.

Just sayin’.

So, did anyone see Justin Bieber’s tough guy, thug boy taped deposition in that lawsuit filed against him for ALLEGEDLY sending his bodyguards to beat someone up because they called the Biebs a sissy or something?

He pouted, rolled his eyes, made fun of his attorney, and snapped his fingers when someone mentioned Selena Gomez, his on-again-off-again-on-again codependent girlfriend who just left rehab because of her Biebs addiction.

Now Justin has been Tweeting about being harassed at his deposition because he was ::::gasp:::: asked questions! He’s the victim here and lawyers are questioning him! He says the deposition tapes were a set-up to make him look bad but he doesn’t seem to realize that it was his own behavior — that of a petulant little boy — that did him in.

And he wants it to end! Y’hear? He’s a busy boy. There’s Sizzurp to chug and mop buckets top piss in and fans to spit on.

The best part of all, though, was Justin’s Freudian slip: when asked if Usher discovered him and was “instrumental” to his career, Bieber took all the credit, with one slip-up:

“I was found on YouTube. I think I was detrimental to my own career.”

Detrimental! Loving it!

So, Lindsay Lohan may have already run through the $2 million Oprah gave her last summer for that reality show docu-series so she needs to find some cash quick, or else go back to working the streets.

There was talk that she was shopping around a book if she could get a $5 million dollar deal, but most sane people realized that any publisher worth their salt wouldn’t pay Lohan $5 million so she could pay someone to write her “story.”

Now, though, she seems to realize that maybe she ought to name names if she wants the big check, so, one night, while barhopping with friends, Lohan sat down and wrote about all the one-night stands, er, boyfriends, um, johns, okay,  customers she’s had over the years and it reads like a Who’s Who and What The Hell Did They Bang Her For? of Hollywood.

In Touch has exclusively obtained a handwritten list, penned Lohan herself, exposing 36 of her famous lovers, the likes of which include — and I'll describe their Lohan Encounters by their film or musical works — Adam Levine: I wonder if he Moves Like Jagger? Zac Efron: High School Musical; Justin Timberlake: Cry Me a River; and Joaquin Phoenix: Walk The Line..

Also named on the list are Colin Farrell: talk about a Fright Night: Evan Peters: a real American Horror Story: Asylum; Wilmer Valderrama: I'm thinking Unaccompanied Minors: and Heath Ledger: The Dark [k]Night.

And then there’s Lukas Haas: which, knowing Lohan, might have been While She Was Out; Jamie Dornan: Fifty Shades of What The Hell Am I Doing? Garrett Hedlund: Death Sentence. And James Franco? Okay, Franco I believe, because you know he went home and wrote a poem.

Anyway, it’s all some tired attempt by Lindsay to spark interest in her, because nothing says that’s a good book like I fucked just about everybody and nothing says this girl is a great actress like She banged Joaquin Phoenix.

If you were thinking that Lady Gaga is just about over, here’s some more evidence that she’s passed her sell-by date:

She created a foundation, naturally named after one of her hit songs, or is it her one hit song, Born This Way, and the Born This Way Foundations mission statement is “to foster a more accepting society, where differences are embraced and individuality is celebrated.” That’s pretty, but loosely translated it means, “lawyers get money.”

See, in 2012, the Born This Way Foundation claimed $2.1 million in net assets and brought in $2.6 million in donations. But a giant chunk of that money went to paying off lawyers, consultants, publicists, travel expenses and all sorts of other stuff, perhaps, like giant shoes and stupid hats. The total spent on expenses was about $1.5 million and the total spent on actual charity, i.e. the mission statement, was $5,000; it went down like this:

$406,552 – legal fees
$300,000 – strategic development
$150,000 – philanthropic consulting
$348,000 – bus-tour productions
$77,923 – travel
$60,000 – research
$58,678 – publicity
$50,000 – social media development
$47,825 – meeting and event coordination
$5,000 – grants to organizations or individuals

And apparently there is a category marked “other” and those expenses — and you can just imagine what those might be — totaled some $808,661.

Now, a spokestool  for the Born This Way Foundation says their mission, er, goal, isn’t to give grants, but to raise “awareness” like when they say they taught 19,000 kids about “civic engagement” during their bus tour last summer.

Methinks it’s time Lady Gaga went back to her real name, Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, and reinvented herself as an actress and guest-stars on Two and a Half Men as Ashton Kutcher’s newest love interest.

Of course, you just know she’d drop the Stefani Joanne and call herself Angelina Germanotta. 

I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Remember when Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez were soooo in love? Yeah, it was just about long enough to make a couple of babies and then it was over.

Rumors swirled that JLo was banging her music video co-star William Levy, while rumors swirled that Marc was banging his HawthoRNe costar Jada Pinkett-Smith, while rumors swirled that Will Smith was banging a couple of dudes....

But I digress. Marc and JLo.

Marc Anthony has finally filed for divorce from Idol judge and cradle-robber Jennifer Lopez. And now he's making like JLo was the big cheater all along. But not with Levy. Nope, Marc is making sounds like JLo was banging her first ex-husband Ojani Noa, and Marc's lawyers want to talk to him.

Anthony’s attorney is reaching out to Ojani Noa as there is speculation that she was spending time with him while married to Anthony.

A source--and, by source, it's gotta be Miss Ryan Seacrest--says, “Marc Anthony’s lawyers are following up with allegations that Jennifer was seeing Ojani while married to Marc, before and after the twins were born. Jennifer allegedly would go to Ojani’s Hancock Park house and spend time with him, without Marc’s knowledge.”

And, if that wasn't enough, Marc Anthony is also looking for financial records of Jennifer Lopez’s because he, and his attorney, believe that she has hidden her money in offshore accounts shortly before the two separated.

I'm not sure about this. JLo cheating? JLo so greedy that she would hide money? I just can't....oh, who am I kidding. This is Typical JLo style. Screw everyone and then act all sweetness and light.

And Ojani Noa may have something to say about that. See, Noa is ALLEGEDLY jobless, and unable to find any work because of Jennifer Lopez: “her lawyers have threatened to sue anyone who has hired or wants to hire Ojani, claiming that any public mention of Ojani being married to her in any form of publicity is a violation of their marital settlement agreement.”

Ouch. So, maybe Noa and Anthony will team up in the Battle JLo.

After her, okay, I'll say it, ALLEGED assault on a woman at The Standard Hotel  a few weeks back, Lindsay Lohan is once again playing the victim. She was attacked, dammit, because nothing she does, or nothing that ever happens to her, is her fault. It's a conspiracy.

Nope, it sounds better when you say it like Daffy Duck: "It'th a conthpirathy."

Some reports claimed that Lindsay Lohan was the victim in another Standard bar brawl that left her soaked in someone else’s cocktail. Unfortunately for the wacktress, it doesn't seem like her version of victimization is true because the only person backing up her story is her serial liar father, douchebag Michael Lohan.

So, with no one on her side and no one to believe that she's a good girl who just got caught up in drugs and booze and kidnapping and car theft and jewelry store robbery, Lindsay has announced that she will no longer go to The Standard; because it's the hotel';s fault she brawls there.

Yes, Lohan is “banning” herself, except......

The folks who run The Standard are saying that they barred Lindsay from bringing her cracked-ass troubles into their establishment. In fact, The Standard has also barred Lohan 2.0, AKA DUI-arrestee Amanda Bynes, from the premises.

So now I’m imagining Original Recipe Lohan and Lohan 2.0 standing outside a 7/11 drinking from paper bags and smacking each other in the face.

Stay tuned.

America’s Next Top Model.

Is it still on? I'm guessing the answer is yes because ANTM headmaster Tyra Banks is peaking out about the upcoming season and a massive revamp of the show, which has become a parody of itself.

See, Tyra has gone ahead and fired everyone from the show next season.

Well, everyone except herself, I mean.

She tossed Miss J to the curb. She took Jay Manuel, and his over-acting hands, to the side and then crushed him. She told British judge Nigel Barker that his visa had expired.

All gone. But.....if you're trying to fix a tired show, wouldn't you look at the one constant, season after season, and tell that Amazon with the five-head that she was fired?

Oh, but she's the boss. And the ego. So, she's gonna be the runway coach, the photo-shoot coordinator, the photographer, and the judge. So she stays.

But, she might not like what former, and also fired, judge, Janice Dickinson has to say about ANTM. Appearing on the Derek and Romaine show on SiriusXM last week to talk about her upcoming one-woman show at XL Nightclub in NYC, Dickinson reacted swiftly to the news that Tyra canned her team: “She’s one selfish greedy woman....She doesn’t have a creative bone in her body, so someone else is pulling the strings on this one.”

She was, however, upset about Miss J's firing, but she questioned Barker's sexually and finished up by saying, “I don’t like any of them. Fact. And they don’t like me.”

But she wasn't finished. At the end of her interview, she dropped one last bomb: “Okay. I’m just going to say it. COVERGIRL chooses the model. It’s not the judges. It’s not Tyra.”

The Five-head will not be amused. 

More on Lohan, the cracktress.

After all the brouhaha about Lohan's chemically altered face, and how Lifetime wasn't sure she could pull off playing Rip Taylor, oops, I mean Liz Taylor, because Lohan could totally do Rip Taylor, news has come that Lifetime has signed Crazy to a contract.

And Rosie O'Donnell is none too happy about it.

Rosie was on the "Today" show with Matt Lauer and Donny Deutsch when it was announced that Lohan will play Taylor in "Liz and Dick" and, as Rosie is apt to do, she made her feelings known: "I feel very sorry for her....I think she needs a lot of time away....She's had a lot of trouble doing every single movie, including SNL. She was out and not in rehearsal. I think she's not in a place to work."

Okay, everyone has a right to her opinion, but then Donny Deutsch actually suggested, "She's our generation's Elizabeth Taylor."

And Rosie lost it.

"You're out of your mind! You're a crackhead! The last thing she did good she was sixteen....I don't think she's right for the role and I don't think she's capable at this point to portray that character."

Well, like I said, Rip Taylor is right up her alley.

Poor Miley Cyrus and, to some extent, Dinty, er, Demi Moore..

Miley's trying to grow up from Disney ingenue to real life woman, and one step in that arduous process was starring in LOL opposite Demi Moore. Miley would be Lola, who is called Lol--yeah, that is a stretch. Demi, of course, is trying to prove she isn't a narcissistic, surgery loving, huffing, nutjob

But now comes word that LOL will not be getting the red carpet treatment from Lionsgate because, they ALLEGE, they couldn’t find a place for the film in their schedule. Or it was just too awful. I mean, Demi and Miley. That's Hollywood for trainwreck.

Lionsgate executives lost their enthusiasm for the picture and began focusing on several higher-profile projects, including flops like Abduction and the rebooted Conan the Barbarian, but now that The Hunger Games is making them all sorts of money, they don't want to release another God-awful Miley-Demi-hot-mess movie.

Execs are spinning the story that the weren't confident they could successfully sell LOL, which centers on Cyrus’ character, but features a series of interwoven tales involving teenagers, so LOL seemed destined for Direct-To-DVD hell, except.....

A clause in the contract that says it must be released domestically in at least 100 theaters.

Look out, Bismarck and Pocatella. I see a LOL in your future.

Trouble is, I don't see a film career in Miley's or Demi's.

It’s hard to break into the upper echelon of the social scene.

If you’re a Kardashian, I mean. It seems that Beyoncé wants nothing to do with the Kash Kow even if she’s Kanye’s latest bedtime whorey.

The Bey-Z don’t like the Kimye.

Seriously? A new language?

Anyway, ever since Kash Kow hooked her large posterior to Kanye’s ego, she’s been dreaming of joining that Beyoncé/Jay-Z inner circle.. But Beyoncé is apparently as turned off by Kash Kow as is most of America, and she is ALLEGEDLY icing Kardashian out of the group.

It’s high school all over again!

But apparently it has to do with the way they live their lives. Beyoncé's marriage to Jay-Z was extremely private, and neither of them confirmed it until long after the event, while Kim’s, for lack of a better word, marriage was a whore-fest media circus, with elephants—Hi Khloe—and circus clowns—Hi Bruce—and then filmed for TV.

Now, I am not the biggest fan of Beyoncé and Jay-Z, who never met a market they didn’t want to tap into—do not make me rehash the Beyonce coockbook—but I am loving the ice-out of Kimye.

Get to steppin’, whores.

And even more on Lohan.

Now, to be fair, there are all kinds of stories out there about the wactress, and sometimes even I have a hard time believing them. Like this one: Rumor had it that Lohan was late to the set for the first day of her first acting job in a few years.

Late.

Now, that seemed like it was just gossip, until…… one irate cast member, Dot Marie Jones, who plays Coach Beiste, Tweeted: “Gonna be a long day!! Some ppl show up late and just throw a wrench in things. Not cool!”

Jones also Tweeted [and later deleted]. “I’d rather be an hour early (I was) than 5 minutes late.”

Trouble is, Lohan wasn’t five minutes late—I mean, that would have given her enough time to fill her water bottle with vodka—but was six hours late. And this was after producers sent a car to pick her up from under a bar at the Chateau Marmont.

And then she went all diva on the set, and demanded a large, extra pimped-out trailer for her to use on the two days she was supposed to work.

A set insider—and I’m guessing it’s Lea Michele, who wants to be the only diva on that set—says  “She came to set with a million demands and was not prepared to work. The cast is already worked to death and then she puts everything behind. She is a diva!”

Yup, six hours late, she hasn’t yet read the script, and she wants to be treated like a star! But her lapdog, spokesmonkey, Steve Honig, spoke out, saying, “I am on the set with Lindsay right now, and everything is going well and on schedule.” 

Uh huh.

That ‘source’ also said, “Lindsay was a total nightmare. She was three hours late in the morning, and when she did finally arrive, she just didn’t want to be there. She did not want to work. She had not memorized her lines, and she kept disappearing so no one could find her.” 

In fact, the cast was so displeased with Lohan they began calling her “That girl” as in That girl is a crack head. Or That girl stole my necklace.

And with all that trouble on the set, Honig finally had to admit Lindsay wasn’t the professional cracktress they make her out to be. He claimed her tardiness was a “misunderstanding” about her call time, and said all the gossip was “a classic example of people trying to bash Lindsay. She busted her ass yesterday and is back on set again today.” 

Oh Steve, you do earn your paycheck, don’t you.

I mean, if Lindsay actually pays you.