Saturday, August 27, 2016

It's Snarkurday!

Little Tommy Cruise has stomped his platform shoes and halted production on the sixth … or sixtieth … Mission Impossible film until he gets more coins.

I guess custom shoes with two-inch lifts are expensive.

Cruise has a back-end deal … and I let y’all do the double entendre on that one … with the folks producing MI 60 but will not begin work until they agree to meet and exceed the back-end deal … seriously the jokes could write themselves … he got for being Brendon Fraser in The Mummy reboot.

The Mummy reboot of a reboot is part of Universal’s upcoming plan to remake, reboot, release all of their old monsters … Frankenstein, Dracula, The Creature from the Black Lagoon … Lindsay Lohan. Universal thinks that this new franchise is going to make them buttloads of money so they’re giving buttloads … again with the jokes … to Tommy.

And once Tommy gets a buttload, he wants one from everyone else but he best be careful … if Universal replaced Fraser with Cruise for The Mummy, maybe Paramount will head down to the Chipotle on La Cienega and tell Brendan Fraser to turn in his apron, the movies are calling … again.

Lindsay Lohan, who can only get work as a drunken cracktress on a yacht these days, has been asked to appear on Russian television to discuss her break-up with Egor Tarabasov.

Huh. Russian TV? Was Wendy Williams unavailable for the chat?

I digress because here’s where it gets funny … Lohan apparently thinks she's a humongous movie star and so she asked for all kinds of shiz before she would agree to go on Russian TV and talk about how Egor was caught with a Russian hooker after having dinner with his American hooker.

Still, the Russian talk show Pust govoryat — airing on a state-owned station — wants Lohan and so she sent a ransom letter, er, list of demands …

She  wants 500,000 Pounds — at first I thought it was “in drugs” and then I realized it was British pounds, equal to $660,000 American dollars — and also wants a private jet to travel back and forth with hair, makeup and manicurist onboard, her own security team, a one year Russian visa with extension and she wants to meet President Vladimir Putin for selfies.

Puta? Meet Putin!

Russia is countering with a rented Fiat, a prepaid gas card, a Maybelline gift bag, a Disneyland Visa, and a photo op with Yakoff Smirnoff.

Does the ‘D’ in DMX stand for ‘Duggar’ because rapper DMX has just revealed that he has become a papa for the fifteenth time after his girlfriend Desiree Lindstrom gave birth to his latest and her first.

DMX made 4 kids with ex-wife Tashera Simmons so that’s five kids with two women and then ten kids with a number of others.

But don’t worry about DMX going broke paying for all those kids; he doesn’t, apparently. Last year, he was arrested twice for not paying child support to Tashera and some other Baby Mama. In 2015 he spent six months in the jail for non-payment of child support.

Huh; maybe the ‘D’ in DMX stands for ‘Deadbeat Dad.’

Or maybe ‘Douchebag,’ because DMX says he picks his Baby Mamas “just like a dog. I sniff the ass, I wag my tail.”


When we last left the two bald-headed loudmouths, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Vin Diesel, they were still feuding.

The Rock took to Instagram to thank everyone he worked with on Fast and Furious 852 … except for  Vin Diesel ... Ouch ... That’s sooooo Mean Girls ... while Vin had vowed to expose The Rock.

Now, Vin has walked that threat back and took to Facebook to whisper sweet nothings about Johnson:
“The reason we brought Dwayne Johnson into Fast 5 was because of you! There was a girl named Jan Kelly who said, ‘I would love to see you guys work together on screen.’ So the role that was initially written for Tommy Lee Jones, we gave it to Dwayne, and he shined in it.”
Really? Tommy Lee Jones? Somewhere in the Appalachian Mountains, Jones is loading buckshot into a rifle, sipping a Budweiser and saying,
“The fuck you did.”

Melania is all [t]Rump, apparently, because she is now threatening to sue people who say mean things about her.

Plagiarism. College drop-out. Illegal immigrant. It’s cool, I have my lawyer on speed-dial. And Melania doesn’t care about those stories because she’s rich, er, married to a rich man, er, married to a man who says he’s rich.

But, listen up, do not ever imply that Melania was once a high-class hooker … think Lohan with a higher price-tag.

The Daily Mail recently repeated a story about the New York modeling agency that Melania was signed to in the 1990s, run by Paolo Zampolli. It was ALLEGEDLY a modeling agency but rumor has it that the “models” made most of their money working as escorts.

So, when Zampolli brought Melania over from her first and last year in college was she modeling nude … or just ‘dating’ nude?

Melania’s attorney, Charles Harder — yes, that is his name ... is his firm called Harder, Harder, HARDER ? — is threatening to go after the  Daily Mail for their ALLEGATIONS.

Again … I have a lawyer on speed dial …

Conrad Hilton walked out of jail just two weeks ago, and now he’s in another messy situation.

Connie is being sued by a woman who says he crashed his father’s Range Rover head-first into her car and was all kinds of drunk—and covered in vomit—when he got out to survey the damages.

Kelly Auld, the woman suing Connie, says that it was just a few hours after a judge slapped Hilton’s wrists for one of his many other crimes, that he had been out drinking and driving and crashing into her car.

Kelly says she saw Hilton swerving like a fool in the Range Rover and says she saw that he was looking ‘dazed and confuses’ and had both hands above his head before he hit one car and then drove right into her, and witnesses say Connie got out of the car, tossed a bong into the bushes and was covered in vomit.

The Range Roger Connie wrecked was registered to Hilton & Hyland, his daddy’s real estate company because, as Kelly discovered, Conrad Hilton was court-ordered not to drive.

I think Connie is trying to out-do big sister Paris … remember how much havoc she caused acting the drunken rich bitch fool?

Oh Amber and Johnny, I thought everything was settled and we’d stop hearing from you … I was wrong. A week ago, Amber Heard announced that she would be donating all $7 million of her divorce settlement to charity. She said she would split the money between the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles and the ACLU. And since her announcement seemed to make it clear that she was not a golddigger, Johnny Depp had to do something …

Depp began by praising Amber for donating his, er, her  money to charity and was, in fact, so moved, that he will not be giving any money to Amber but will cut the charity checks himself.

Except … while Johnny did send checks to the ACLU and Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles — they’re to get $3.5 million each—in Amber’s name, he didn’t send all of it; Johnny’s going on the installment plan.

Depp’s rep says:
“Following Amber Heard’s announcement that her divorce settlement was to be divided equally and gifted to Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles and the American Civil Liberties Union, two exceptionally deserving and important charities, Johnny Depp has sent the first of multiple installments of those monies to each charity in the name of Amber Heard, which when completed will honor the full amount of Ms. Heard’s pledge. Ms. Heard’s generosity in giving to these wonderful causes is deeply respected.” Everybody happy now?"
Um, no … because  Depp was supposed to pay Amber $7 million so she could donate it to whichever organization she chose and he’s not giving it all away at once as was, ALLEGEDLY, Amber’s plan, so her lawyers are looking to go back to court again with Johnny.

This thing ain’t never gonna end.

I do love Amy Schumer because she doesn’t care who she offends … even if it’s Anna “Nuclear” Wintour.

Last Spring Amy got all dolled up and headed off to the Met Gala, and is now saying that it was torture! She appeared on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show to promote her new book and told Stern that she’s an introvert at heart. She likes hanging out with a small group of friends and hates being around famous folks, and when Howard mentioned her appearance at the Met Gala Amy spoke of the painful event.
“I left, not the second I could; I left earlier than I should have been allowed. I got to meet BeyoncĂ©, and she was like, ‘Is this your first Met Gala?’ and I was like, ‘It’s my last.’ I should be grateful I was invited or something, but it felt like a punishment. It’s not me. We’re dressed up like a bunch of fucking assholes and I have no interest in fashion. I like the idea of coming up with a way to dress that’s more comfortable, that looks cool, that sounds good to me. But other than that, I don’t care.”
It’s funny, though, because mere seconds before Amy told Stern the story of it being her last Met Gala, Anna Wintour was scratching Amy’s name off every guest list in New York.

Friday, August 26, 2016

A Gay Couple's Home Was Vandalized, And What The Neighbors Did Next Was Shocking

Shortly after the Orlando massacre, Cari and Lauri Ryding hung a Rainbow flag outside their home as a sign of solidarity. They had  always felt welcome on Strawberry Hill Road in Natwick and so they knew that hanging the LGBTQ Pride flag was the right thing to do.

But, after returning from vacation they found that their flag had been stolen and their house and porch had been pelted with eggs. Cari said they were in shock, after having lived so peacefully in the neighborhood, but it was what happened next that really stunned the couple.

After alerting the local police, they posted questions to Facebook, asking the neighbors if anyone had seen anything; no one did and still there are no suspects. But the Ryding’s neighbors were outraged, and one neighbor, Maura Gaughan, sprang into action. She contacted the Rainbow Peace Flag Project, a local organization that gives away flags to Natick-area residents.

And on the next Sunday morning a group of neighborhood children on bicycles delivered rainbow flags to each and every house on the block; and one by one, every house was decorated with a Rainbow flag emblazoned with the word “Peace.”
“It just happened so quickly — the whole neighborhood said, ‘Get me a flag. Get me a flag. Get me a flag.’ If we can stop whatever hate is out there, I think that’s really important.” — Penni Rochwerger, a neighbor
Lauri Ryding was busy cleaning off the eggs from her porch when she spotted a Pride flag, and as she walked through the neighborhood she saw more and more; on doors and fences; flying high from a flagpole; hanging on a gate.

Lois McGillivray has lived on Strawberry Hill Road for 50 years and she was one of the first to fly the Pride flag:
“I have never met anyone who would do what that person did to that house. This is a place where nobody bothers anybody, no matter how you want to live, as long as you’re not digging up the garden and throwing the dirt in my yard.”
Neil Podolski is Jewish, and he instantly took a flag to fly in front of his home:
“It’s just not right. Who’s to say tomorrow we don’t find a swastika on our house?”
The Ryding’s, after finding their home vandalized, did what most of us might do: they thought of leaving, feeling that maybe the neighborhood wasn’t so safe. But what the neighbors did, in solidarity, “completely overshadowed that fear and we are just overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity.”

All in all, there are now forty houses on Strawberry Hill Road m and the surrounding neighborhood, flying the Pride flag in Peace.

Times do change, y’all. 

I Didn't Say It ...

Cher, on [t]Rump’s RNC promise to protect the LGBTQ community from the “oppression of a hateful foreign ideology”:

“Oh come on. He says those letters like a child that is just learning the alphabet. And then pokes his finger in the air for ‘Q.’ He is the most disingenuous man I’ve ever seen. And I want to tell you: my people will not believe him for a minute.”

The Great and Powerful Cher has spoken.
We will not vote [t]Rump.
Jerry Falwell Jr., coming out for [t]Rump:

“We are at a crossroads where our first priority must be saving our nation. We need a leader with qualities that resemble those of Winston Churchill, and I believe that leader is Donald Trump. As Churchill did, Trump possesses the resolve to put his country first and to never give up in a world that is increasingly hostile to our values. Despite our differences, Americans from all walks of life must unite behind Trump and Indiana Gov. Mike Pence or suffer dire consequences. If Clinton appoints the next few Supreme Court justices, not only will the Second Amendment right to bear arms be effectively lost, but also activist judges will rewrite our Constitution in ways that would make it unrecognizable to our founders.”

Wait. What? [t]Rump is the ‘new’ Churchill?
Oh, honey, sit down. And, seriously, enough with the ‘they’re coming for your guns’ bull shiz; in the last eight years exactly how many guns has Obama confiscated?
Uh, that would be zero, moron.
Amy Robach, GMA newsreader on the casting of Zendaya as Mary-Jane Watson in another Spider-Man reboot:

“We all know Hollywood has received recent and quite a bit of criticism for casting white actors in what one might assume would be reserved for colored people, is this potentially the industry trying to right itself?” 

WTF? ‘Colored people’? Has GMA gone all Good Morning 1955 America?
Robach did issue an apology, saying she meant to say “people of color” and added that the incident is “not at all a reflection of how I feel or speak in my everyday life.” I’m’a ponder that for a minute because it seemed to come out of her mouth a little too easily.
Tony Perkins, leader of the Hate Group Family Research Council, walking back his assertion that God smites the Earth because of The Gays after God sent a flood to his house:

“Deceptive claims are being circulated on the internet that put words in my mouth about God’s role in natural disasters and what causes them. Those claims are inaccurate. What I have said, which I repeated yesterday in a sermon at Greenwell Springs Baptist Church, is that I don’t know what was behind this flood or any other natural disaster. However, as a follower of Jesus Christ, I believe the Bible which makes clear that God is sovereign over the elements of nature and can and does use them for His purposes.”

See what he did there?
He says he didn’t say it, but then he actually says what he says he didn’t say.
In 2015, Perkins agreed with Pastor Jonathan Cahn’s assessment that Hurricane Joaquin, which devastated parts of the Bahamas, was a sign of God’s unhappiness over, among other things, abortions and same-sex marriage … “God is trying to send us a message.”
God’s message to Tony Perkins is, “Sit down, fool.”

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Random Musings

Last week Ryan Lochte apologized on social media—and did a round of The Mea Culpa on every news channel—for not being “more careful and candid” in the way he described events to Brazilian police about that “robbery” that never happened.

Careful and candid? Howsabout saying:
“I’m sorry I’m a drunken ass who vandalized a bathroom then lied to police about then fled the country while my friends were detained.”
Say that, then go away … and that very well may happen because in the wake of lying and being just a general douchebag, Lochte has lost 4 sponsorship deals, including Speedo:
“While we have enjoyed a winning relationship with Ryan for over a decade and he has been an important member of the Speedo team, we cannot condone the behavior that is counter to the values this brand has long stood for.”
And then Ralph Lauren, which outfitted Team USA for the opening and closing ceremonies, announced they would not renew their contract with Lochte either.

Good. Now go.
It seems like it was just a couple of years ago that we — the LGBT community, that is — were boycotting Target for donating to anti-LGBT political campaigns.

Cut to 2016 and there’s a new Target in town … Last week Target announced that it will spend $20 million to install gender-neutral restrooms in every single one of its stores, saying the change is part of an ongoing effort to make all customers and employees feel welcome. Most Target bathrooms are expected to be completed by the end of 2016.

Good on Target.
Last Saturday night was Trash Movie Night at Casa Bob y Carlos so we enjoyed — and I use that word loosely — a disaster epic, in every sense of the word, called San Andreas.

The film starred Dwayne Johnson, AKA The Rock and I will say, he’s a horrible actor. But worse than is acting is that I couldn’t decide if he looked like a talking elbow or a taking penis.

Just sayin’.
In South Carolina LGBT News … Crystal Moore is the chief of police in Latta, South Carolina—population 1,400. Yup, a woman — in that small town — and a gay woman to boot. But Crystal Moore isn’t just content with being the chief of police, she’s set her sights on becoming the female sheriff in South Carolina and the first gay one, too.

South Carolina. Gay sheriff; female sheriff. Who knew?
Carlos and I make a trek to CostCo about every six weeks for supplies; we used to travel up to Charlotte, North Carolina, because that was the closest one and it was about a 90-minute drive up and a ninety-minute drive back.

But two weeks ago, they finally opened a CostCo in Columbia and so the drive is down to thirty minutes each way, but this story isn’t about CostCo. It’s about Dumbass South Carolina drivers.

On the way up I-20 we ran into stopped traffic; there was, most likely, an accident up ahead. We stopped very near a freeway off-ramp and so many cars were pushing to the right to get off the freeway and avoid the mess. As the driver, I noticed that up ahead the traffic was still moving, albeit slowly, so I chose to stay in my lane and get through.

As I also looked up ahead, I noticed that some drivers were doing u-turns and getting off the freeway via a freeway on-ramp and driving the wrong way up the on-ramp.

Stupid ass people. But then, just when you think people cannot be dumber, some of those using the ­on-ramp to get off, were backing up the on-ramp so as to look less conspicuous.

Seriously. I lived six years in  Miami where I saw crazy drivers every single day and I never saw anything like this is my life; South Carolina; it’s not the heat, it’s the stupidity.
I was watching CBS Sunday Morning and they were doing a piece on Stephen Colbert’s Late Show bandleader, Jon Batiste.

Talented musician, great fun, fabulous style, and oh so easy on the eyes … I may have to stay up late some time.
RuPaul’s Drag Race: All-Stars starts tonight, with returning queens, Adore Delano, Alaska, Alyssa Edwards,  Coco Montrese, Detox,  Ginger Minj, Katya, Phi Phi O’Hara,  Roxxxy Andrews, and Tatiana.

I hope Ginger takes it all the way; I hope Adore isn’t allowed to speak because she has a voice only a non-hearing person could love; I hope someone pushes Roxxxy off the stage; I hope someone tapes Phi Phi’s catty mouth shut.

But that’s just me …
In news that is not surprising, it seems that Weston Imer, a twelve-year-old boy, is running Donald [t]Rump’s campaign office in Jefferson County, Colorado.

Imer’s mother Laurel is listed as the office’s official field coordinator but she says she’s allowed her son to organize volunteers as co-chair of the county office.

Makes sense, the candidate has the temperament of a self-indulgent twelve-year-old so …
I originally posted about Martin Blackwell  back in March — see post HERE — after he was arrested for pouring boiling water on a same-sex couple sleeping in an apartment, leaving them with severe burns that required surgery.

This week Blackwell was found guilty of eight counts of aggravated battery and two counts of aggravated assault in the attack on Anthony Gooden and Marquez Tolbert; the defense called no witnesses and presented no evidence. He was sentenced to 40 years in prison.

The jury refused to accept Blackwell’s defense attorney, Monique Walker’s statement that this wasn’t about hate, but about “old-school culture, old-school thinking.”

I wonder if Monique would offer that same defense on a racist white man who poured boiling water on a black man. Hate is hate, Monique; stop trying to justify it as “old school” thinking.
Speaking of asshats … the price of life-saving EpiPens has jumped from an average price of $56.64 in 2007 to $317.82 today.

And conveniently enough, Mylan CEO Heather Bresch, the pharmaceutical executive who oversaw the increase was given a raise from $2,453,456 in 2007 to $18,931,068 today.

Mylan purchased the EpiPen from Merck in 2007; each pen contains about $1 worth of epinephrine. Now you pay $300 for the dollar’s worth of medicine … oh, and you get the pen, too!

Heather Bresch; she’s the new Martin Shkreli. I hope she gets what he got.
I recently posted this to Facebook with the caption: Oh who am I kidding ... I don't shop! #ConsiderYourselvesWarned

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Architecture Wednesday: Villa P

This house; it’s kind of impressive, no?

Oh, that’s not it, that chalet-looking thing at the top; and it’s neither one of the buildings to the right or left. It’s that black scar slightly down the hill.

The architect, working with the existing lynchets — banks of earth built up on the downslope of a field ploughed over eons — and with the natural stone walls of the field, the architects created this home for a winemaker in Novacella, Brixen, Italy … high in  the Alps.

The building has become part of the existing cultivated landscape, with its lynchets and typical stone masonry walls of a former winery. But then a second wall — created to frame the home — is colored with the black pigments of the grapevines.

This creates what appears to be a continuation of a centuries old wall and the shadow it cast upon the hillside, creating the winemaker’s home.

But it’s still a house, a simple one that becomes part of the landscape when the grapes are growing, and become quite noticeable when the fields are bare.

Did I mention there’s wine? And views?

Two More White Convicted Rapists Get Lenient Sentences

Back in June I wrote about rapist, convicted rapist, Brock Allen Turner, who sexually assaulted an unconscious woman behind a dumpster until he was stopped and captured by a couple of other students—see post HERE.

At his trial, again, where was found guilty, Judge Aaron Persky sentenced the rapist to just six months in jail, saying:
"A prison sentence would have a severe impact on him."A.severe.Impact. On the rapist; the convicted rapist. No worries about the victim, mind you, but let’s protect the white, privileged rapist.
I remember thinking, at the time, how this could happen. I mean, Turner was seen raping the girl, he basically admitted to raping the girl, he was found guilty of raping the girl, and then got a slap on the wrist.

How does this happen? I still don’t know the answer, but it’s happened again … and again …

Austin James Wilkerson, a 22-year-old former University of Colorado student, admitted to sexually assaulting an intoxicated woman but will receive no jail time. He was sentenced to at least 20-years probation and two years of work or school release; for sexual assault.

During the rape, prosecutors say Wilkerson tried to make it seem as if he was caring for the intoxicated woman; he checked her pulse, her temperature, and gave her water. But then he began making sexual advances to the girl and when she rebuffed him he called her "a fucking bitch" and raped her.

He even told his friends, bragging actually, that he’d "fingered a girl” who had passed out; he says he let his hands wander — which at first he denied to the police — then went on to forcibly rape her and ejaculate on her stomach.

At the trial, he said it was consensual sex and that the girl was not passed out drunk and wanted him … "passionately." The same girl he’d bragged to friends that he fingers while she was unconscious.

And so he was tried and convicted of rape and during sentencing Judge Patrick Butler decided that putting Austin James Wilkerson in prison would not produce "a great result” even though the victim spoke out, asking Judge Butler to not protect Wilkerson:
"Worst of all is the victim blaming. If I hadn't been drunk, this wouldn't have happened. If I hadn't gotten separated, this wouldn't have happened.' Yet it was excusable for him to rape me because he was drunk? Have as much mercy for the rapist as he did for me that night."
But Judge Butler had no compassion for the victim, or at least nowhere near as much as he had for the convicted rapist:
"I've struggled, to be quite frank, with the idea of, 'Do I put him in prison?' I don't know that there is any great result for anybody. Mr. Wilkerson deserves to be punished, but I think we all need to find out whether he truly can or cannot be rehabilitated."
I wonder if Judge Butler might have the same reaction had Wilkerson raped one of his children, his sister, his mother. And I wonder if Judge Butler thinks his lenient sentencing might impact other cases of white men raping women … or make rapists trelaize that if they have the right skin color they can get away with rape ...

See, up in Massachusetts, 18-year-old David Becker was also charged with sexual assault … two counts of rape and one count of indecent assault and battery against two young women.

The victims had been drinking at a party and had stayed after to help Becker and others clean up. The two girls and Becker went upstairs and talked for awhile until they fell asleep; then, both girls woke up to find David Becker sexually assaulting them.

The next day, David Becker sent a text apologizing to the girls for what he’s done, but in court, and found guilty, Judge Thomas Estes gave rapist David Becker two years of probation, ordered him to avoid drugs or alcohol and to stay away from his victims. He was also ordered to submit to sex offender treatment programs, but Judge Estes did not require him to register as a sex offender. As long as he doesn’t break his probation, no conviction will ever appear on his record.

Even more disgusting than yet another judge basically slapping a rapist on the wrist for sexual assault is Becker’s attorney, Thomas Rooke, who said, of the judge’s decision, that David Becker “can now look forward to a productive life without being burdened with the stigma of having to register as a sex offender. The goal of this sentence was not to impede this individual from graduating high school and to go onto the next step of his life, which is a college experience. We all made mistakes when we were 17, 18, 19 years old [but] putting this kid in jail for two years would have destroyed this kid’s life.”

Again, no mention of the victim’s lives; just a frat brother pat on the back about making a mistake … you know, the kind of mistake where you take you penis out and rape a girl … the kind of mistake where a drunk girl is an invitation for sexual assault.


I read these stories and I am shocked, but then I’m not. I might be more shocked had the rapist been black or Hispanic, because then the sentences probably would have been much more severe … but, in America, in the eyes of judges like Persky, Butler and Estes, left to right below, white men who sexually assault women, drunk or not, and are found guilty of the crimes, need not be punished, lest we disrupt their lives, and their college experience.

When you hear the term “white privilege” and wonder what it means, these three cases are a textbook example.