Architecture Wednesday: Ancient Party Barn

By now it’s probably clear to anyone who looks at Architecture Wednesday that I am obsessed with house created from things that weren’t originally houses … warehouse … garages … water treatment plants … barns.

Barns; gosh I love a good barn that becomes a house. But this isn’t just a barn; it’s a cluster of historic agricultural buildings that were turned into a getaway for a fashion designer & a digital designer who collect reclaimed architectural artifacts; and what better place to showcase those treasures than in a reclaimed barn and its outbuildings. The result is part curation, part restoration of an 18th Century threshing barn, dairy and stables.

The owners decided that, rather than demand specific spaces, they would focus on materials and atmosphere, and on creative re-use of the existing volumes. In order to maintain the barn’s “brooding” presence — and to provide security and a sense of protection from rolling Channel mists — the barn is usually kept in a closed state. However, industrial-scale mechanisms create openings toward views into the countryside while massive, insulated shutters recall the original barn doors, and protect a vast rotating window operated by an adapted chain-lift.

On the east side, an aircraft hangar door allows the exterior to float upwards, creating a canopy over the dining terrace; a single rooflight, running the length of the main roof’s ridge provides steady ambient light to the living spaces.

The original green oak framing was in a state of near collapse at the start of the two-year restoration project so it was carefully disassembled and removed from site for repair.

While the smaller stable range remains timber-framed, the main barn frame and cladding is largely cosmetic – the oak is supported by a steel exoskeleton. This structural approach allowed for rapid completion of the building and the incorporation of the huge opening mechanisms. One of the main challenges was creation of a mezzanine — for sleeping and bathing — into the main volume. A tapering brick chimney supports the corner of the mezzanine, and incorporates a cantilevered, waxed steel staircase and an open fireplace.

The prevalence of recycled and found materials contradict the high-tech solutions to the building’s operational requirements; a ground-source heat pump harvests warmth from the paddock soil to provide heating & hot water; reclaimed light fittings were adapted to use long-life, low-energy LED lamps; integration of heat, light and security systems allow the owner to manage the building and work remotely.

It’s a high-tech dairy and stable and barn. It’s everything ….

HomeDSGN

ISBL Asshat of the Week: North Carolina Republican Robert Pittenger

Oh, North Carolina, what did you do to deserve this mess? I mean, I get it that most of you, a majority, at least, elected that crackpot, hate-filled governor of yours, but these days, in light of the floods in the north state — is God trying to tell y’all something — and the police shootings, and protests in Charlotte, y’all don’t need any more drama.

But you have it, in one two-term Republican, of course, state congressman, Robert Pittenger, who represents North Carolina’s Ninth District, which includes Charlotte, the scene of those protests over the shooting death of Keith Lamont Scott.

And as that area’s representative, Pittenger was interviewed by the BBC about the violence, and the non-violent protests, taking place in Charlotte and in that interview Pittenger says that those people inciting the protests and unrest are black people who “hate white people.”

And the racist is out of the bag, especially when you consider that had Pittenger been watching the protests he would have seen people of all colors and ethnicities and ages and genders, all people who are tired of these, near daily — there was another one in San Diego yesterday — police shootings of black men.

Robert Pittenger is what’s wrong with these scenarios; he is what’s wrong with the South, with its racist elected officials. He used quotes by Martin Luther King in one of his comments, and then demanded that President Obama, Attorney General Lynch, and other black leaders get down to Charlotte and appeal for calm, and then laid blame for all of this protesting not at the police, not at the abundance of weapons in the country, not on the underlying racism that still exists, but Robert Pittenger blamed President Johnson and the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Of course, he also blamed Obama because, why not, and, perhaps most telling, because Pittenger is an ardent supporter of Donald “Stop-and-Frisk” [t]Rump.

But back to Pittenger’s interview; after he stated that this is all because black people hate white people the interviewer, James O’Brien says:

“With respect congressman, I don’t think the people on the streets last night or the night before were protesting against Lyndon B. Johnson’s almost half a century old policies. What is their grievance in their mind?”

Pittenger doesn’t state the obvious, that people, of all colors and sizes and ages and genders, are sick and tired of these shootings and just want police to stop the unjustified killings of black people; instead, he went this way:

“The grievance in their mind is the animus, the anger. They hate white people because white people are successful and they’re not.”

And then he goes off on a rant about the “welfare state” — because, you know, everyone on welfare is an African-American since the white folk are oh so successful — and he says welfare “puts people in bondage, so they can’t be all that they’re capable of being.”

Ah, using bondage to discuss the anger of black people against white people is a good move, especially considering the bondage that white people put black people into over the course of centuries.

O’Brien then asks:

“So, a black man gets shot by a black police officer, and the people protest because they hate white people?”

And Pittenger replies that is the truth because “that’s what they’re saying on TV.” I must have missed that part, because all I heard was people being disgusted by yet another shooting.

And, as happens, when racists, ignorant racists — which is really redundant — get in front of a microphone and  start spewing their hate, Pittenger is trying to walk back his comments. He seemed, for a moment at least, to rethink his racism, and his lunacy, or at least try to hide it from view, and Tweeted one of those non-apology-apologies, via Twitter:

“What is taking place in my hometown breaks my heart. Today, my anguish led me to respond to a reporter's question in a way that I regret.”

Followed by:

“I apologize to those I offended and hope we can bring peace and calm to Charlotte.”

To those I offended? Howsabout everyone?

The sad news is that Robert Pittenger will most likely remain in Congress in the state as he is one of many Republicans who represent extensively gerrymandered district that is safely in the Red Zone.

But, we know, and many of the people in North Carolina know, and folks in his district now know, that he is an ignorant racist Asshat … Of The Week.

If You Only News

Hey Governor McCrory? Say His Name! Keith Lamont Scott

With each passing day, North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory seals his fate and will very probably be drummed out of office in November.

First he passed Hate into law, and then lied about it; then he tried to divert funds from the state’s natural disaster relief fund to cover the costs of the lawsuit brought on by Hate, and then he accused every group who chose to take their business out of the state of extortion, and now this …

In the days following the shooting death by police officers of Keith Lamont Scott, McCrory held a news conference and never once mentioned the dead man’s name.

Instead, he scolded the media for not discussing the flooding in the northern part of the state and suggested they get out of Charlotte and make the floods the national news story … not the murder of another black man in America.

He continued, ignoring the big story, by heaping praise on the first responders to the flood relief and bragged about how they gave him a blue shirt; he bragged about getting a shirt just seventy-two hours after Keith Lamont Scott was gunned down.

A man was shot to death in the street, but I got this cool new shirt!

And then, making sure he’d be voted out of office in November, McCrory praised law enforcement officers — not citizens — for maintaining order during last Thursday night's peaceful protests; he went on to call those who caused damage “outside agitators” and “anarchists.”

“There are groups from out-of-state that want to cause anarchy. This state, this governor and Charlotte will not tolerate those individuals who want to cause harm to our basic society norms. … Thank you very much to National Guard. I saw people hugging, them hugging back. The best in America that we saw. We saw the best of Charlotte in tense situations, where we had community leaders and members of the clergy step in between the Guard and people who didn’t want to have a peaceful situation.”

And so as he talked about everything but Keith Lamont Scott, one news outlet online began posting split-screen images from the video taken by Rakeyia Scott, the wife of Keith Lamont Scott, and McCrory; they also posted images of the protests, and even of one man apparently trying to clean tear gas from his eyes.

All this was shown while McCrory praised Charlotte police officers for their efforts, and then offered sympathy and support to the police, noting what a challenging week this has been for them — without, again, ever mentioning the victim; no words of sympathy for the Scott family … not Keith Lamont Scott, not his widow, Rakeyia Scott, and not his seven fatherless children.

But why should he have sympathy for the family? He’s working, along with Charlotte police chief Kerr Putney, to keep the video of the shooting from ever being seen; McCrory signed a law, which goes into effect October 1, that makes it illegal for such videos to be released unless ordered by a judge.

So there will be no video of what happened, either to prove or disprove how the police say this went down.

Is that how we work to resolve this disconnect between the public and the police? By allowing police to hide evidence in these shootings?

Governor McCrory needs to go; when the governor cannot be bothered to even mention the name of a man gunned down by police, but instead, praises the police and signs an idiotic law that allows police to keep evidence of the shooting out of public view, he does not have the best interests of the people of North Carolina.

He needs to go, North Carolina, and you can do it.

NCRM

My Two Cents: The Debate

Yes, I watched it ... all. 

At about the five minute mark I was ready to change the channel because the sound of Rump's voice and his anally-shaped mouth were making me physically ill, but Carlos politely suggested we continue to watch; by "politely suggested" I mean, he took the remote and tied me to a chair and forced me to watch.

So   ... just a couple of debate notes ….

Rump says that American companies move out of this country because then, when they sell their goods back into the United States, they pay no taxes. He says that practice should be stopped. Good idea, except ... it came from a man wearing one of his own suits, shirt and tie, all manufactured outside this country and then sold back to the US for the tax break. How can you trust him to bring jobs back when he’s made a career of sending jobs out of this country?

Rump said he was “smart” to not have paid any federal taxes. Huh, should we all work to be that smart? I mean, if Rump and his ilk, the 1% — though I believe he’s not nearly as rich as he says — don’t pay federal taxes then it’s no wonder our infrastructure is falling down. Pay your fair share, Rump, and zero is not fair.

Rump says he was never for the Iraq war and yet there is evidence he was; he lied.

He says he wasn’t a birther, but that Hillary’s camp started it; he lied.

He says he wants to do something about gun violence and then praises the NRA.

He says Stop-and-Frisk, a definitively racist practice, is the solution to police shootings; yeah, because more racism is the solution to the problem of race in this country.

Lastly, he said Hillary has neither the looks nor the stamina to be president, but one of the people on that stage last night was cool, calm, collected, and laid out plans and thoughts and ideas and facts, and the other one was a sniffing, twitching, water-gulping, microphone grabbing, face making, rude dick named Donald Trump. He didn’t have the stamina to get through ninety minutes with her.

Just sayin’.

Debate Day: Today In Petulant Childishness

So, the Clinton campaign confirmed the rumor that anti-Rump billionaire, and Twitter Rump Trolling, Mark Cuban will be sitting in the front row at tonight's first presidential debate. Some folks are dubbing it "psychological warfare" though, really, it's just a dig at the Rump and not actual warfare.

But it did inspire that Dead Raccoon Toupee Wearing Wannabe to name-call Cuban and threaten his own seating arrangement and then Tweet about it [above].

Sadly, though Rump cannot spell the woman's name correctly: it's Gennifer Flowers.

Asshat.

h/t and photo JoeMyGod.com

Debate Day: Two Newspapers Endorse Hillary

The Cincinnati Enquirer has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president, the first time in the paper's 100 year history that they have endorsed a Democrat:

“Presidential elections should be about who’s the best candidate, not who’s the least flawed. Unfortunately, that’s not the case this year.

Republican Donald Trump and Democrat Hillary Clinton, the most unpopular pair of presidential candidates in American history, both have troubled relationships with truth and transparency. Trump, despite all of his bluster about wanting to “make America great again,” has exploited and expanded our internal divisions. Clinton’s arrogance and unwillingness to admit wrongdoing have made her a divisive and distrusted figure as well.

The Enquirer has supported Republicans for president for almost a century – a tradition this editorial board doesn’t take lightly. But this is not a traditional race, and these are not traditional times. Our country needs calm, thoughtful leadership to deal with the challenges we face at home and abroad. We need a leader who will bring out the best in all Americans, not the worst.

That’s why there is only one choice when we elect a president in November: Hillary Clinton.”

Sure, it's not a rave, but it says something when a newspaper has never endorsed anyone but a Republican until now ...

And then, the New York Times followed suit and endorsed Hillary Clinton yesterday and then vowed to eviscerate Donald [t]Rump in the paper this morning:

"In any normal election year, we’d compare the two presidential candidates side by side on the issues. But this is not a normal election year. A comparison like that would be an empty exercise in a race where one candidate — our choice, Hillary Clinton — has a record of service and a raft of pragmatic ideas, and the other, Donald Trump, discloses nothing concrete about himself or his plans while promising the moon and offering the stars on layaway. (We will explain in a subsequent editorial why we believe Mr. Trump to be the worst nominee put forward by a major party in modern American history.)

But this endorsement would also be an empty exercise if it merely affirmed the choice of Clinton supporters. We’re aiming instead to persuade those of you who are hesitating to vote for Mrs. Clinton — because you are reluctant to vote for a Democrat, or for another Clinton, or for a candidate who might appear, on the surface, not to offer change from an establishment that seems indifferent and a political system that seems broken. Running down the other guy won’t suffice to make that argument. The best case for Hillary Clinton cannot be, and is not, that she isn’t Donald Trump. The best case is, instead, about the challenges this country faces, and Mrs. Clinton’s capacity to rise to them."

Enjoy the debates ... I see it going one of two ways:

Hillary gives [t]Rump the intellectual beatdown of his life or ...

It devolves into both candidate smack-talking the other.

I'm hoping for the former, but the latter would be fun, too.

The Funny Papers

Clay Bennett, Steve Benson, John Cole, Mike Smith, Dan Wasserman, Mike Keefe, Steve Breen, Pat Bagley

It's Snarkurday!

Brad and Angie have split! Some say he was mean to the kids! Some say he cheated on La Jolie! Some say he drinks! Some say he smokes too much weed!

I say, Meh, it’s another Hollywood marriage gone belly-up. Nothing to see there.

Rabidly devout Catholic — he makes the Pope look like an atheist — Mel Gibson has gotten his new girlfriend, Rosalind Ross, who is young enough to be one of his children, pregnant with his ninth child.

He has seven children with his ex-wife, one child with an ex-girlfriend, and this soon-to-be-child with his, certainly- soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend.

He’s a fine Catholic, no?

So, remember when Mark Wahlberg, before becoming Marky Mark and then becoming Mark Wahlberg again, attacked two Vietnamese men on the same day in Boston? Well, he was 16 at the time and was charged with assault and did 45 days in jail.
  

Then two years ago, Wahlberg tried to get a pardon for his crimes and all kinds of folks were up in arms that, just because he was rich, he could have his record expunged of the crimes.

Well, that ain’t happening … a Massachusetts Parole Board spokesperson says Wahlberg never responded to a letter they sent him asking if he still wanted to keep that pardon request open and so they closed it.

And now Wahlberg is saying he doesn’t care that his pardon was dropped because, he says now, he never really wanted it in the first place … except when he was asking for it, and writing letters asking for it, and pleading to get a pardon.

The estate of Bobbi Kristina Brown sued her boyfriend-adopted-brother Nick Gordon last year for ALLEGEDLY scheming to get her money and being responsible for her death. The suit claimed Nick transferred money from Bobbi Kristina’s account to his own the day she went into a coma. Nick was also accused of injecting Bobbi Kristina with a “toxic mixture” that day.  

Nick’s lawyers called the suit “meritless,” but Nick never got to explain why because he never showed up to court … twice … and that cost him the case because, this week, Fulton County Superior Court Judge T. Jackson Bedford declared Nick Gordon legally responsible for Bobbi Kristina Brown’s death.

Just shows, y’all, show up when the law asks you to, or else.

Nick is still being investigated by the cops, but so far no charges have been filed.

It’s hard out there for pretty people … just ask Halle Berry.

I remember a few years back when Charlize Theron started the Eye Roll Heard Round The World when she cried that none of the meaty roles in movies are written for a “gorgeous, gown-wearing eight-foot model” even though she’d won an Oscar for Monster and followed up that role with Aeon Flux.

And now it’s Halle’s turn; she told a magazine recently that she didn’t want to be typecast as the pretty girl, so she purposefully went after roles where she’d have to de-glam herself.

This from the girl who started out as a model on a TV show about models called Living Dolls. Now, to be fair, her first film role was as Vivian the crack whore in Jungle Fever and she says she had to beg Spike Lee to let her audition for it.

Yes, she begged Spike to be a “crack ho” and won him over by taking off her make-up and becoming a crack whore; she then went on to beg Lee Daniels for the role in Monster’s Ball that won her an Oscar, followed that up with Catwoman and Gothika.

So, is it hard out there for beauties or hard for beauties that make stupid film choices?

In what I like to call Celebrities Acting Like High School Mean Girls, Selena Gomez recently got a new phone number and has announced that she will not give it to ex-boy-toy Justin Bieber.

Stop.The.Presses. A source — called Melena Momez — says Selena instructed everyone that got her new number “not to give it to him.”

I guess Bieber Booty Calls are over.

There are those who think it was the best thing for Tom Hiddleston to dump Taylor Swift like the whiny teenager she is, but, well, girls who write poetry and then turn them into songs that they sing off-key, might have the edge.

Yes, Swifty is said to be planning a revenge album of songs about both Hiddleston and her beau before Hiddleston, Calvin Harris.

How come when she goes for revenge the music listening public is the victim?

Julia Louis-Dreyfus won her ninth Emmy — and her fifth Best Actress Emmy in a row for Veep — last weekend and brought the audience to tears when she announced that her father, William Louis-Dreyfus, died just two days before at the age of 84.

And, in a world where people do not listen, a great many social media fools, instantly began Tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking about the loss of Julia’s dad, Richard Dreyfuss.

And so Richard Dreyfuss took to the web to instruct this slew of morons how to Google Julia Louis-Dreyfus and find out that she isn’t his daughter.

Seriously, people.

Note to pervy guys: leave Sophia Bush alone when she’s on a plane.

Bush recently posted a statement on Twitter about the creepy encounter she had with a fellow traveler and she took him, and his ilk down:

“Dear Random Dude on a Plane:

When you make a woman so visibly uncomfortable, that after you’ve ignored all visual cues to please leave her alone (one word answers, she pulls out a book, puts on a hat, she actually asks you to not speak to her with the tone and words you’re choosing to use) that she finally GETS UP and MOVES SEATS, leave her alone. Do not continue trying to make conversation.

Stop turning around and looking at her. Stop leaning out of your seat and towards her body when she has to grab something out of the overhead bin above her original seat, and sadly also above you, mid flight.

And in my case, stop believing that you are entitled to make me uncomfortable because you ‘watch my TV show’ so I owe you some magical debt. I make it, you watch it. After that, the ‘exchange’ is done. You do not get to harass me, or any woman, because you think you pay our bills.

You don’t bro, I DO.”

Suh-nap!

So, a couple of weeks back someone on a Twitter interview — a Twinterview? — asked Katy Perry if she’d ever work with Taylor Swift and Katy replied:

“Yeah, if she ever apologizes.”

That’s an allusion to the rift between the two pop tartlets over the ALLEGED embezzling by Perry of Swift backup dancers; seriously.

Don’t hold your breath, Katy, because a source — Kaylor Kwift, I’m thinking — has said that Taylor let out a snotty girl laugh at the idea of working with non-award winner Perry:

“Why would Taylor want to collaborate with someone whose latest single (“Rise“) didn’t even break the Top 10? Taylor is a ten time Grammy winner. Katy has zero Grammys.”

And Taylor has zero talent, except for being a whiny self-indulgent, self-entitled, tuneless brat.

But that describes Katy, too, right?

PR 15 Ep 2: Just Half Are Fabulous

This week Heidi sends the designtestants to the park, to meet Tim Gunn and Traci Inglis, Chief Marketing Officer of JustFab, so this must be the, wait for it, JustFab Challenge.

Try to put one over on me, will ya! I know you all too well, PR producers!

Tim and Traci give the designtestants the low-down on the JustFab woman and suddenly women, JustFab women, start swarming the waterfront. I was thinking “Are they designing for these hundreds of women?” and then I thought, “Team challenge?” But, no; the designtestants will, in one day and will $150, design a look for the everyday woman, and for every woman, age and body shape. And, because this is a Product Placement Challenge™, the winning look will be reproduced — and no doubt modified — and sold on JustFab.com.

The designtestants sketch alongside the East River and then get their first Mood sighting, and Swatch sighting, where we learn that Laurence will not be running through the store because she twisted her ankle while twerking.

Seriously … but let’s rip anyway …

THE SAFES

Top Row, left to right

CORNELIUS I don’t really care for the mix of patterns, and, to me, it’s kinda basic otherwise.

DEXTER It’s a big coat … that is all.

JENNI I’ve heard of a drop crotch, but this insane crotch is practically scraping the floor; not for every woman!

MAH-JING This I loved and wondered why it didn’t go Top; maybe because it’s so monotone?

NATHALIA A big jacket over leggings and a sports bra; Tim was right when he called it a cartoon … all it needed was big Mickey Mouse hands.

Bottom Row, left to right

RIK Oh so safe, and oh so looking like a pillow case. Still, I am getting a bigger crush on Rik so I need him to step up.

ROBERI What three things don’t go together? A bland white top, a screaming print, and a smock coat in a laser-cut lace.

SARAH Marshall’s is having a sale and this is 85% off.

TASHA This kinda BoHoGoth monochrome look is kinda cool, but that low-cut waist is not for all women.

THE TOPS

ALEX 

He turned up the bitchy this week by taking dig after dig at ManBunBrik, and maybe rightly so, but there’s something about his robotic monotone voice — and maybe it’s due to that bar through his lip — that irks me.

His perfectionism, and how he plays it like he’s so great — Look at how orderly I am — irked me, too. Tim, though, who is orderly but not braggy about it, liked it, though he told Alex to bring it down a notch because these are One Day Challenges.

Alex created a structured black pant, with a sheer top — and a giant bow — worn over a purple camisole. That’s all.

WHAT HE SAID

My pants are absolutely on point. I know that this is the JustFab woman.

WHAT I SAID

It’s kinda Coco Chanel-y, but is the bare waist really for every woman?

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi likes the polished look, but agrees that a crop top is not for all women. Nina Garcia loves the “bow drama” and says that she would wear it; it’s terrific and versatile and it’s a great pant, but could have used some sparkle. The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it uptown and mysterious, but said he’s seen the bow before … hell, he’s worn the bow before. Guest Judge, actress Nina Dobrev, loved the pants, the bow, and the sleeves, which is pretty much all of it.

ERIN

While I’m getting Madonna with the hair and the gap between her teeth, I am also getting, for this week at any rate, the one to beat vibe. Erin clearly has a POV and a style and a design sense, along with much needed time management skills.

She’s making a baby blue neoprene A-line dress with red sleeves, and, around the waist, an adjustable sequined belt that takes the dress from ‘A’ to shapely.

Tim’s one critique was the addition of the sequins — was it going from sporty to cocktail — but Erin stuck to her guns and the sparkle gave the look a punch.

WHAT SHE SAID

I think it’s the craziest look because of the color.

WHAT I SAID

I like the color, but it’s cartoonish and big … a decision I took back once she cinched it for the judges and suddenly it had a shape.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Adorable Zac Posen™ said it was well done, and loved the transformation; he admitted neoprene was not a good fabric for all women, but also said this look was “high fashion.” Nina Garcia called it fun and a standout, and loved the color—in a runway of mostly black. Nina Dobrev loved the look once it was cinched, but Heidi wasn’t feeling it. She said it might be “too edgy” for all women and she also totted out the word “cartoonish.”

LAURENCE

I’m beginning to like Laurence; she seems like she has a good sense of humor, especially in light of the fact that she had a baby at sixteen and her father threw her out of the house and never spoke to her again — he died in 2007. That could have been a blow, but it seems to have made her stronger, and I like that.

But I worried about her sketch because it was like a parachute with legs; even Tim worried that her straight up-and-down jumpsuit might not appeal to all body types.

She created an Army green, slightly dropped-crotch jumpsuit with a pop of orange down the back. It had a punch and a wow.

WHAT SHE SAID

I think she looks dope.

WHAT I SAID

It reminds me of the flight-suit my Dad used to wear when he was in the Air force—even the colors, the green and orange, were the same.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi loves it, calling it easy and perfect for any woman to wear—even her seventy-something mother. Nina Garcia loved the attitude, the dropped waist and the pockets, but disagreed with Heidi that any age woman would wear it. The Adorable Zac Posen™ loved the details and called it fresh, though he worried about the dangling zipper at the crotch being kinda odd. Nina Dobrev said it was polished and edgy and said she wanted it.

THE BOTTOMS

KIMBER

I got very nervous when Tim came by and Kimber’s work station was spotless and all her materials were neatly stacked. It just looked like she was ready to leave, for the day, or for the season.

Tim liked her look, but worried that the bell shaped top couldn’t work in a floppy material so he suggested she line it, and she did … backwards. She then had nothing for her model to try on and so she ran and shrieked and stressed and cussed.

Note to Kimber: always be working.

WHAT SHE SAID

I’m loving it, it’s girly.

WHAT I SAID

It looks like a sailor outfit; it’s cute, but it’s really ‘Meh.’

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Adorable Zac Posen™ noticed the print from the top as a pocket lining in the pant and liked that; but he hated the top, saying it wouldn’t work on a woman with a larger bust. Nina Garcia said the coolest thing about the look was the model’s hair. Ouch! God, I loves me some Meana Garcia! Nina Dobrev liked the print of the top and that the pants were good for every body type.

BRIK

Gosh, he’s all kinds of sweet and cute and just so not ready to be a designer, isn’t he? He tells us that last week’s brush with death has given him a new perspective and then sets out to make the same shape, pants and top, he made last week, albeit without all the glitter.

It’s a printed stretch pants in white and dark gray, paired with a structured blazer of medium gray … I know! But he was planning to add some forest green leather pieces to the shoulders until Tim slapped that idea off the table.

I think he should’a slapped Brik and told him to ramp up the volume and the design, but that’s just me.

WHAT HE SAID

I made a look that a lot of women could incorporate into their wardrobes.

WHAT I SAID

The color is just awful … rainy day gray … and, yes, he wanted to make a jacket but the sleeves are too heavy. Sleeveless would have been better. And a different color … and a different design. Still, he’s just so puppy cute.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina Garcia reminded us that last week’s look had too many personalities and this week’s design has none. Ouch! And a knit pant? Nina says the only thing worse than a knit dress — see review below — is a knit pant! The Adorable Zac Posen™ said he had little to say and then talked and talked; note to Zac: if you say you have nothing to say, keep your word. Nina Dobrev called it a mismatch with a business top and couch potato bottom, while Heidi simply wondered what girl would wear this.

LINDA

We learned that Linda was a television journalist until she left to be a full-time mom and now that her girls are grown she’s doing this for herself; if that isn’t a “Get Ready To Go Home” story, I don’t know my PR.

Linda goes for a knit dress that, at first fitting, is too big for her model; and, as she cuts it down, it’s stretching and growing like a knit tumor. And so Linda will cover it with a sheer kimono coat. Um, Linda, if the dress is fugly, why cover it with something you can see through? That only makes the fugly more noticeable.

WHAT SHE SAID

I’m feeling like the design actually might work.

WHAT I SAID

First, I noticed the Adorable Zac Posen’s™ face crumble when this hit the runway, and then I noticed the sheer kimono looked like it was made of dirty plastic wrap and that the dress was getting larger the more it moved.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina Garcia looked at it and said, “Hmmmmm?” Never good; she loathed the color palette, loathed the fabric choices, and called the kimono shabby. The Adorable Zac Posen™ said, “Burn the jacket.” Heidi said knits are hard to wear and where would anyone wear this, so Linda said to work, and to pick up the kids and out to dinner and Heidi audibly gasped. Nina wondered if the shredded edges were a choice, and they were, which means they were an awful choice.

Traci Inglis of JustFab returns to award the winner and I was thinking it would be Erin again because he’s was versatile and edgy, but the win went, rightly so on second thought, to Laurence.

The Bottom Two were Brik, again, and Linda; the discussion was that Brik had been a lower twice but that Linda’s was the worst look this week, so who goes home?

This just in … Linda will be reporting live from her living room sofa next week.

Buh-bye.

It’s just Week Two and there are already cliques … Dexter and Mah-Jing against Catty Cornelius … Catty Cornelius, dishing and dogging and throwing so much shade I had to turn a light on to see the show. And this from a guy who, right now, based on his placement, is like “Cornelius, who?” to the judges. Design, dear, and when you win, I’ll walk into the shade with you.

Alex is also giving snark, this week to Brik — who may well deserve it — but I cannot get past his monotone Valley Girl speech pattern. I’m’a need him to stop speaking.

Kimber gets the line of the night when she is struggling to finish and fix all of the mistakes with her look:

“Devil? You can go back to Hell, cuz it’s not gonna happen today?”

And then it nearly did!

When Heidi introduced Nina Dobrev as the star of the upcoming XXX: Return of Xander Cage, all I heard was star of XXX and I instantly went, “Wait, a porn star is a judge? Oh, this could get good.” Alas, it was just a regular actress, whom I’ve never heard of, in a film I’ll never see.

I’m still up for Rik-Brik to happen because they are just so cute. And I’m waiting for all the girls, who this week heaped praise on Erin as the show started, to suddenly turn on her. I mean, this is the PR; that’s bound to happen.

My Faves this week were Erin and Mah-Jing and Tasha.

My Not So Faves were Linda, Dexter and Nathalia, the Three Coatmakers.

What did YOU think?