Saturday, October 22, 2016

It's Snarkurday!

Look, I am about the furthest thing from straight that you can get, but if I were a straight man ::: giggle snort ::: and I was JLo’s man, you can bet I’d be keeping it in my pants and only banging my bank account, er, girlfriend, instead of stepping out on her. But, while Casper Smart is a straight man ::: giggle snort ::: he’s a not-so-bright straight man because he’s been dumped by Lopez again for being a cheater.

Seriously, Casper, the only thing you have to do in life is do whatever Jennifer Lopez tells you to do … her laundry, bathe the kids, walk the dog, satisfy her sexually, measure her ass to make sure it’s still huge, and yet you feel the need to once again dip your wick in some other, um, pool?

And, hon, if you’re gonna cheat, you cheat up, to someone more famous, with more money; you don’t cheat down because now you’re coin-less and out of a job.

Oh Lindsay Lohan … She desperately wants to be a businesswoman because, well, acting is just about over for her … unless you count acting the fool on social media a career. She tried to corner the market on leggings and spray tans and apps for your phone and they all bombed quicker than her last film so now she’s put her name where her mouth is, and where the vodka goes in …

Yes, Lindsay Lohan has announced on Instagram that she is opening a nightclub called LOHAN in Athens. I was thinking Freaky Friday might have been a better name for a Lohan bar; or The Boyfriend Trap; Lindsay Fully Loaded? Seriously, what does Lindsay Lohan know about being a bar owner, other than getting drunk in a bar; stealing another woman’s fur coat in a bar; starting a fight in a bar; passing out under a bar?

To be fair, Lohan is actually a part owner of the bar; her friend-slash-john, Greek restaurateur Dennis Papageorgiou is technically the owner but Lindsay will get a percentage which she will promptly drink up, causing the bar to go out of business about an hour after it opens.

Just saying.

Donald’s cohort in PussyGat, Bill Bush is now officially fired from NBC and is ALLEGEDLY getting a $10 million payout.

He’s been on the job a hot minute and gets ten mil for being publicly outed as a douchebag of Donald-Proportions? Casper Smart couldn’t even get a deal like that and he was Lopez’, um, well, he grabbed her, um, look Casper walked away with the clothes on his back and Bush gets millions.

Oy. Next up Billy Bush comes cleans on Dr. Phil and then appears on Dancing With The Stars. Mark.My.Words.

And now more Lohan … Since she’s owned a nightclub for roughly thirty seconds now, Lindsay has announced that she will also open a line of spas. But it isn’t all about booze and facials for Lindsay; no, she also wants to, and I’ll let her say it, offset all of this capitalism by “creating and distributing organic health drinks” for refugees.

Yes, she’s gonna make smoothies for refugees! Lohan … the gift that keeps on giving … though I imagine her “organic health drinks” are at least 100-proof.

I should’a married Phil Collins when I had the chance. I would’a Sussudio’d him to the poor house.

See, Phil divorced his third wife, Orianne Cevey, back in 2008 and paid her what was then a record for divorce settlements in the UK: he paid Orianne $30.5 million! And now, the two are back together eight years later and Phil says she is keeping the money.

Seriously; I could’a been Mr. Phil Collins for a couple of years, pocketed a cool thirty million and been set for life.

I don’t get Azealia Banks. I mean, rumor has it she’s a singer or something but all I ever hear about her is when she explodes on Twitter against The Gays or gets kicked off a plane or starts a feud with someone.

In a now-deleted Facebook post, Banks claims that Russell Crowe choked her, spit at her, called her the N-word and threw her out of his hotel suite. 

Russell Crowe and Azealia Banks? Mismatch. But, multiple witnesses says that Banks was tossed from Russell’s suite, but not because he was a jerk but because she was a hot mess who threatened to stab him and another guest.

On the night in question, Russell hosted a dinner party for 10 people in his hotel suite; Crowe invited rapper RZA, who directed him in The Man with the Iron Fists, and RZA brought Banks, who says this is what happened:
“To recap my night, I went to a part [sic] at Russell crowes [sic] suite, at which he called me a n***er, choked me, threw me out and spat at me. Last night was one of the hardest nights of sleep I’ve had in a long time. The men in the room allowed it to happen. I feel terrible today.”
Party guests, though, have a different take; they say Crowe never called Banks a slur and only put his hands on her because she was about to throw a glass. They say the whole mess started when Azealia made fun of the music Russell was playing and called him and another guest “boring white men.” Another guest asked Banks to “shut it” — perhaps she said “be quiet” I was just paraphrasing — and then the ugliness ensued because Banks then ALLEGEDLY shrieked:
“You would love it if I broke my glass, stabbed you guys in the throat, and blood would squirt everywhere like some real Tarantino shit.”
Then Azealia reached for her glass, cocked it and Russell Crowe bounced her ass outside.
Look, here’s the queer deal: I ain’t no celebrity — except in my own head — but even I know you don’t allow Azealia Banks into your home and anywhere near the cutlery and the crystal unless you want a bloodbath.

Seriously, Russell, what were you thinking?

Wow, two Phil Collins stories in one week? The man must be really trying to rekindle his career and his third marriage.

This time, though, it’s about a feud to between Phil and Paul McCartney. Yes, like last week’s Grandpa Feud between F. Murray Abraham and Mandy Patinkin, we now have two more old men fighting … or maybe one old man trying to spark a fight with the other …

Phil Collins spoke to the UK’s Sunday Times about his upcoming autobiography, Not Dead Yet and spilled the beans about the time he met McCartney at Buckingham Palace back in Ott-Two.  It seems Phil had a first edition of The Beatles biography by Hunter Davies, so he brought it with him to see if Paul would sign it for him … big mistake, huge.

Phil says when Paul and his then-wife Heather Mills approached him he went in for the autograph, and Paul said:
“Oh Heather, our little Phil’s a bit of a Beatles fan.”
Little Phil? Well, he is barely five-foot-five but still, it was kind of a bitch move on McCartney, and Little, er, Phil, wasn’t having it:
 “I thought, ‘You fuck, you fuck.’ Never forgot it. He has this thing when he’s talking to you, where he makes you feel (like), ‘I know this must be hard for you because I’m a Beatle. I’m Paul McCartney and it must be very hard for you to actually be holding a conversation with me.”
Yeah, even though I missed my shot at marrying, divorcing for millions, and remarrying, Phil Collins, I am Team Phil this time out … though I place most of the blame for on McCartney’s rudeness on that one-legged bitch of an ex-wife of his, Heather.

Just sayin’ … she’s vile.

Whenever Tyra Banks feels like she isn’t seeing her name in the press often enough … and once a year is too much … she races to the nearest reporter to beat that dead horse she’s been beating for over a  decade now: her feud with Naomi Campbell.

It seems that recently Banks and her baby Daddy Erik Asla were guests on the Norwegian-Swedish talk show Skavlan — what, Steve Harvey turned her down? — and the conversation turned to how she was terrorized by Naomi back in the day.

Tyra talked about going to Paris as a new model and how she met HBIC Campbell:
“I got to Paris and it was very difficult I did very well, very fast. But then the industry was saying, ‘Look out Naomi Campbell, here comes Tyra Banks, Naomi Campbell sit your butt down, this younger one is coming to take your place. It wasn’t fair to Naomi, but her response was … to this day I’m very scared of her. I don’t want to go too deep into the past, but it was very difficult, like some of the lowest times of my life dealing with that. I don’t condone her actions and her response, but I understand where it comes from because the world is saying, ‘You’re not going to have your spot. We’re going to take your money, we’re going to take your fame. Go sit down, there’s somebody else.’”
I love how she says she doesn’t want to go too deep into the past and then she does, as she does every time it seems like people have forgotten her while no one in the world has ever forgotten, or will ever forget, Miss Naomi Campbell.

Sit down, Tyra; I see a phone coming toward your five-head.

Friday, October 21, 2016

PR 15 Ep 6: Happy Hour? Not So Much

Last week was a Sob Fest so this week tears are off limits — though no one told Mah-Jing — and the designtestants are about to get their party started by attending a press event at the Absolut Elyx House along with Heidi, Nina, The Adorable Zac Posen™ and Tim Gunn.

But … anyone who watches the PR knows that a party is never just a party, it’s the next challenge and this week is no different. Heidi announces that the designtestants must use the Absolut Elyx House — kind of a retro, Steampunk, speakeasy loft bar — as an inspiration for a luxurious cocktail dress. They will have the requisite one day, but will also have a whopping $300 to spend at Mood.

The designers take their drinks and begin to sketch, or, as in Erin’s case, meander through the space, gathering ideas and inspiration.

Let’s rip ….
BRIK — top left — went a little shiny, a little futuristic, a little robot, but at least he didn’t go into The Bottom Three.

CORNELIUS — top middle — started off using some fabrics he’d used in an earlier challenge until Tim Cher Snapped Him Out Of It. But what he sent down was a boring Ladies who Lunch dress and not a Luxe Cocktail number.

DEXTER — top right — thought he had this one sewn up because Tim loved the color, but then he went Fringe Wild and created a Cher Halfbreed Moment.

MAH-JING — bottom left — was first inspired by the condensation on a copper pineapple and made a red dress that looked like it was dripping blood. He, too, got a Tim Smackdown and started over, creating this boring, too high slit, too badly sewn lace concoction.

ROBERI — bottom right — chose a fabric Tim called a Missoni Navajo Blanket. I like the look, but it doesn’t say luxurious or cocktail; it says, I just ripped this off of a horse and made a dress out of it.
I know instantly she’s out of her element because Tasha does hip-hop-streetwear and that is nothing like luxurious cocktail dress.

And she doesn’t help with her fabric choices, which start off as florals and light colored denim … lightcoloreddenim. I mean, c’mon! Tim is not at all pleased with what he sees and she shows him some dark denim she bought and he suggests that; he also suggest that rather than bringing the cocktail party to the street, that Tasha bring the street to the cocktail party.

It gets ugly, and simple and basic, and then Tasha runs around the room gathering up scraps from other designers to make her look “pop.”

I hurt.

I’m very proud of my look.

I hurt. I hurt she’s proud of this. I’m hurt because it’s basic … ally ugly … with a sash. I hurt.

The Adorable Zac Posen™ said the fit was off, that the sash was bad, and then finished off with an “el cheapo” remark. Nina said it was just a badly made black dress with a ribbon at the waist, though she said she’d wear it before she would wear Nathalia’s — more on that look — while Guest Judge, actress and model, Emily Ratajkowski called it unfinished and weird.
She was all about the copper accessories at the Absolut Elyx House and the feathers on the wallpaper in the ladies room so she chose copper brocade, ostrich feathers, sequins, and a fabric that glows under the lights; it all sounds too much, but Erin just knows that she has this one in the bag.

:::cue ominous drumming:::

Tim is also worried that it’s just too much and Erin actually listened and pulled back on the sequins and the Glow Textile … though she went crazy as a loon with the feathers.

I’m feeling really good … I know I’ll be in the Top Three.

It’s like the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz took a job as a Vegas showgirl—plus, The Adorable Zac Posen™ seemed to gasp at the sight of it.

Heidi asked is if was “cocktail” or “costume,” and then called it overdone, between the wings and the silly, bordering on funny, but really unfunny, design. The Adorable Zac Posen™  said it was Priscilla, Queen of the Swamp, though he loved the copper brocade; he then called it unimaginative — I think it was over-imaginative — and cheap and feather. Emily Ratajkowski said the feathers are a hard act to follow, even for the glitzy fabric; it was too much of a showgirl. Nina Garcia said it was like the Lion King, hated the back, and noted that she gave it one of the lowest scores.
She got it into her head to create a chandelier dress and that’s what sunk her; she spent most of her Mood Dollars on this sequined, bedazzled netted fabric, and then bought some linings as well; I think she should have reversed that expenditure.

Tim is not happy, and drops the “It looks like an ice skater’s outfit” bomb. Nathalia starts over, and is able to borrow fabric from Jenni, who gets Nice Points this episode, to recreate her look into a two-piece, one-piece, sequined chandelier over a pencil skirt looking thing, and, to top it off, she thinks she’s saved it.

I feel like I got it together … I’ll be okay.

It’s a crooked, badly sewn, slice of cheesy motel room shower curtain over a halter top and a pencil skirt. I was doing this crap in my sleep!

Heidi hates it, and calls it a teen prom dress from the mall—those of you new to the PR, anytime someone calls a look “mall” that’s the sign of death. Mall, bad. Heidi was also dumbfounded when Nathalia explained that this was her second look and that she made it in four hours; Heidi said it was a thirty minute look. Nina Garcia called it the furthest thing from luxurious, and dubbed it badly made and cheap. Emily Ratajkowski, though, liked it because, while it looked rushed, it was creative. The Adorable Zac Posen™ agreed with Emily — though he also called it a hot hot mess — because there were some good ideas … badly made.
Rik was inspired by the bartenders — they were hot, to be sure — but then threw a curveball by adding his inspiration was the bartender’s leather aprons. He’ll make a leather apron dress, and I was worried. I kept getting an “it’s too literal” vibe.

But Tim appreciated the idea, though he cautioned Rik from doing any kind of hand-painting or embellishment; he cautioned Rik to keep it simple and let the leather talk.

The last time leather talked to me I ended up in a dungeon in Chinatown and … but I digress.

I feel like I took a risk with the color and doing something unconventional.

It’s very cool, but to me it says Lady Blacksmith not Little Black Dress.

Emily Ratajkowski loved it—but god does she have a monotone robotic speaking voice and mannerisms—and called orange a brave color. Nina loved that Rik went out of the box, and called it confident and beautiful, and said she loved the details. Heidi loved that it was a modern and new eye-catcher of a look, while The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it smart, said he loved the color, but hated the exposed zipper.
She was all about the speakeasy attitude of the bar, as well as the copper and gold accents, so she’s making a loose-fitting copper dress and adds appliqués to it that are very similar to the appliqués Erin added to the coat the two of them made last week; her idea does not go unnoticed; or un-snarked.


But Tim liked it and calls it “compelling” and so Jenni keeps on adding things to it that Brik rightly calls an “under the sea” vibe.
I am so enthused.

It’s very simple, and I am also getting a Little Mermaid Ursula On The Runway vibe. But I do like its simplicity.

Both Heidi and Zac say they thought this was Erin’s look because of the “bedazzling;” Heidi wonders if Jenni copied it, but Nina goes Team Jenni and says maybe Jenni was inspired by Erin and that’s a good thing. Heidi does like the ease of the look, and the plunging neckline, while Nina added that the fabric was beautiful and feminine and the design seemed effortless. Emily Ratajkowski called it a fashion piece while The Adorable Zac Posen™ said he could see it in the Absolut Elyx House; he also said it was a modern take on a vintage look.
At the Absolut Elyx House, Laurence was all about a leather Chesterfield sofa and took that idea and ran with it. She used black leather to create the tufted Chesterfield sleeves on her dress as well as a pleated leather top; the rest was a simple black dress that Tim called “spectacular.”

I definitely think mine stands out.

It’s so serious and severe looking, cool and sleek like Grace Kelly at a funeral, but the back is BAM! I.Love.It.

The Adorable Zac Posen™ loved it, and loved the sleeve treatment, calling the shoulders sharp and mean. Heidi also loved it, calling it elegant while loving the play between hard and soft. Emily Ratajkowski loved how well-tailored it was, though she also thought black was an obvious choice for a cocktail dress, but she wanted to wear it. Nina was gobsmacked; she called it “the Bentley of Little Black Dresses;” she called it perfect; she called the tailoring impeccable; she loved the sexy back.

It was a slam dunk for Laurence … wait. What? The Bentley of LBDs doesn’t take the prize? Now I’m gobsmacked. The judges gave Jenni gets the top spot for her easy breezy speakeasy number.

Erin dodged a bullet with her craptastic salute to plumage but only because Tasha’s basic … ally ugly dress was unbeatable for the Auf’ing.

I love that Cornelius, who tried to use the same fabric he’s already used, dogged Nathalia for her chose of chandelier textile; but I loved when Nathalia looked at is fabric choices and said they’d make a good couch.

Poor Dexter, though; he  was on a high from last week’s win and Tim saying he loved his color choices this week, that he missed Tim saying “watch the fringe”  critique. His Fringe With Benefits look — I think Brik coined that term — would have landed him in the bottom if he hadn’t had immunity. Maybe it’ll take some of the hot air out of his head.

Speaking of hot air, Erin; I knew the instant that she and Dexter laughed like Mean girls about how good they were and how much they loved each other — seriously, Chip’n’Dale are less aggrandizing to one another — the Epic Fail was about to happen.

I’d also gotten a Madonna vibe from Erin; the hair, the gap in the teeth, the speaking voice. But this week, when dogging Jenni for her embellishments on her look, Erin channeled the bitchy, self-entitled, condescending Madge. I’m kinda getting over her, and will say that I loved her fall from the top. A little gratitude and kindness might be in order.

And I loved the backstage comments on EmbellishmentGate — did Jenni “copy” Erin? — while the judges deliberated, when Nathalia snapped to the room:
“Erin is not the only person that has ever embellished something!”
I also loved how Jenni helped both Nathalia and Tasha by giving them some of her extra fabrics for their do-overs; again, Erin take note.

Line of the Night #1 occurred when Brik showed Jenni his fabrics:
“Shiny is a color, right?”
Oh honey, it isn’t, but it’s sweet that you think so.

And howsabout Brik in his shorts at Mood? Yum. And howsabout Ma-Jing’s tears at Tasha’s exit? Girl, get it together, because you’re going soon.

Now, as for me, Laurence should have won this one hands down; that girl was robbed. But she’ll get even by being at The Tents, along with Cutie Rik, I hope. Erin and Dexter, if they stop this Aren’t We Fabulous nonsense, might score a bit higher with me. Jenni, though, with this win, might have a shot, too. As for Nathalia, Cornelius, Mah-Jing, Brik and Roberi? Yeah, maybe they won’t show at The Tents but they might get a good seat.

What did YOU think?

I Didn't Say It ...

Tom Brady, on Donald and “locker room” talk and his vote:

“I met him probably 15, 16 years ago … We’ve played golf together many, many times and I’ve always had a good time with him. He’s been a friend of mine. … He’s been on the Patriots sideline a lot. He’s always called me after games to encourage me … That’s kind of the way it is … Obviously there’s a lot of headlines to make, and I’ve tried not to make a lot of headlines. … The thing I’ve always thought is I don’t want to be a distraction for the team. That’s what my goal is. …  It’s just hard enough to win and prepare without the distractions so when you start having the distractions it’s even harder to prepare. Yeah, I’ll vote … Maybe we’ll talk about it after Super Tuesday or whatever it is.”

Super Tuesday? 
Oh Tom, as my friend Judge Judy says, ‘Beauty fades, dumb is forever.’
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court Justice, on Collin Kaepernick’s protest: 

“Would I arrest them for doing it? No. I think it’s dumb and disrespectful. I would have the same answer if you asked me about flag burning. I think it’s a terrible thing to do, but I wouldn’t lock a person up for doing it. I would point out how ridiculous it seems to me to do such an act.”

I’m usually Team RBG but not this time.
Because Kaepernick sat down we are talking about this; because a man burned a flag we had a discussion. There are times when you need to do something people might not approve of to get your message out.
John McCain, last March, on President Obama’s nominating Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court:

“This issue is not about any single nominee – it’s about the integrity of the Court. With less than a year left in a lame-duck presidency and the long-term ideological balance of the Supreme Court at stake, I believe the American people must have a voice in the direction of the Supreme Court by electing a new president. … We must allow the people to play a role in selecting the next lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court.”

So, again, because Old Man McCain didn’t get to be president, and never will be president of anything, including his homeowner’s association, he’s acting the dick about Obama’s choice, a man many, even many Republicans, believe is a good choice for the courts.
Siddown, Grampa.
John McCain, last week, completely changing his mind and vowing to ‘unite against’ any nominee President Hillary Clinton would appoint to the Supreme Court:

“I promise you that [the GOP] will be united against any Supreme Court nominee that Hillary Clinton, if she were president, would put up. I promise you.”

So, that whole thing about letting the American people decide who should be president and then letting that president make a nominee for the court was just another lie by a bitter old man.
Clinton is leading Donald in Arizona, and I hope that means the people of Arizona will tell Gramps to go f%k himself.
Melania Trump, to Anderson Cooper, about PussyGate:

“And as you can see from the tape, the cameras were not on — it was only a mic. And I wonder if they even knew that the mic was on…They were kind of a boys talk…And he was lead on, like, egged on, from the host [Billy Bush].”

Melania? You’ll do anything for some coins, including rambling along almost incoherently, your face frozen by the Bo.
Honey, and please explain why your husband let you tell your tale to Anderson Cooper, a man he’s called the most biased against him in all the media?
Seriously, you two, Botox and Cheeto, deserve one another.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Random Musings

Today marks the sixth annual Spirit Day to show support for LGBTQ youth and take a stand against bullying.

Go purple in support, if you can, and talk about bullying. Take it out of the closet and take the shame away from the victims and spotlight the bullies.

Go purple.
Oh, this is lovely; a new Donald bumper sticker featuring a Confederate Flag Man kicking a Rainbow Flag Man.

Apparently the decal and its opposite, a Rainbow Flag Man kicking a Confederate Flag Man, was available for purchase from FastDecals, but a quick Google search leads to the FastDecals page but finds no matching items; it appears they’ve stopped selling the offensive sticker.

You know, because one if a flag of Pride and acceptance and one is a flag of Hate and intolerance.
So, a couple of weeks back, Hurricane Matthew visited Casa Bob y Carlos, and the neighbors, and sent one of their trees crashing into our yard, taking down three, or four of our trees, and our fence, in the process.

That’s the bad news; the good news is that the neighbors came by once the weather cleared and the ground dried, and spent two days completely removing their tree and ours from our yard; they even offered to replace the trees we lost — we said no because there are roughly two hundred tree of all kinds on our lot and we really aren’t hurting for more trees. Next, they’re going to have our thirty feet of downed and damaged fence replaced and we’ll be good as new.
On the bad side, an agent for our homeowner’s insurance came out and said they wouldn’t pay for the leaky skylight because it had been repaired in the past so, yeah, prior damage. He did try and see if we needed a new roof and maybe that would help in fixing the skylight leak, but unfortunately, or actually fortunately, our roof is in really good shape.

As for the snapped off tree in the front yard? Insurance won’t pay for it to be removed because even though it was damaged in the storm it didn’t fall down.

Gosh, if only it had hit the house … I kid.
Dayum; FLOTUS looked hot at a White House dinner honoring Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi and his wife, Agnese Landini.

I think she should be FL-FLOTUS … Fabulous Looking First Lady of the United States.
Pharma-douche Martin Shkreli had apparently planned a fan meetup — yes, this dick has fans … dicks who are fans — at the Henry St. Alehouse in Brooklyn Heights.

The good news is that it was shut down by the bar just hours before it began; rumor has it Shkreli picked Henry St. because it is close to the U.S. Federal Court building where he facing an ongoing securities fraud case.

Shkreli Tweeted:
FAN MEETUP: 5pm Henry Street Ale House -- 62 Henry St, Brooklyn, NY 11201. Drinks are on your boy. I have court just before and nearby.”
And that caused the bar to respond:
“There is NO meet-up for @MartinShkreli at our place today. This is not happening.”
Then a spokesman for the bar said:
"We knew nothing of this beforehand nor can we accommodate large groups, let alone one from a controversial figure such as Shkreli. We are a low-key, small neighborhood bar/restaurant, not an event space.”
To his credit, Shkreli apologized to the bar for not notifying them ahead of time and began looking for a new bar prompting one, Brooklyn Public, to Tweet:
Please be advised our drink prices just increased over 5000%.”
So, this week there was a firebombing at a GOP headquarters in Hillsborough, North Carolina and here’s how both sides responded:

Tom Stevens, Hillsborough’s GOP mayor called it “political terrorism,” while GOP presidential nominee Donald No-Last-Name blamed it on, wait for it, it’s nothing new, Hillary Clinton and her animal’s, er, supporters.

The Democrats took a different tack, and created a GoFundMe page that raised more than $13,000 to pay the salaries of those Republicans out of work because of the fire.

One side blames the other, while the other side steps up to help those who lost their jobs.

Um, yeah, Vote Blue.
Carlos and I love Scandal, and because Kerry Washington had the nerve to get herself pregnant this year, the new season is postponed until early next year.

In its place a new show called Notorious — think of it as Scandal at a news show — is airing, and, well, yes, there’s Man Candy:

Daniel Sunjata, top left, plays a hot shot celebrity lawyer and he is just fine, from head-to-toe, and I know this because I saw him nude on Broadway in the play Take Me Out. It was real and it was fabulous.

Also hot is boy-toy Ryan Guzman, top right and, well, yeah, bottom, who plays the part of a beautiful but kinda dumb assistant on the show. Acting? I dunno, but a photo I found reminds me that he also has a fabulous ass.

Just sayin’.
Meanwhile, back at Donald … when he hosted Saturday Night Live last year he said that “part of the reason I’m here is that I know how to take a joke.”

Yeah, not so much. After last week’s lampooning of Donald at the second debate he called for the show to be canceled and said Alec Baldwin, who is a better Donald that the actual Donald, wasn’t even funny.

You decide; this is what Baldwin said in the skit:
“Tonight I’m going to do three things: I’m going to huff, I’m going to puff and I’m going to blow this whole thing.”
The sketch also touched on Donald the Racist, Donald the Stalker, Donald the Misogynist, Donald the Groper and his to turn the tables by bringing in Bill Clinton’s accusers:
“Martha, she is trying to silence these women but they need to be respected, they need their voices heard.”
“What about all the women accusing you of sexual assault?” asked Cecily Strong’s Martha Raddatz.
“They need to shut the hell up.”
Donald then Tweeted:
“Watched Saturday Night Live hit job on me. Time to retire the boring and unfunny show. Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks. Media rigging election!”
Funny that, his addition of media rigging election; it’s so random … I’ll have the soup. Media rigging election … and makes Donald sound like an old man who’s lost his mind.

True dat.
So, it’s no secret that Fox News’ Shep Smith is a big old homo, though he’s never officially come out, but this week he did open up about his sexuality after a reporter directly addressed it though he never said the words, “I’m gay.”

He was talking about former Fox News chairman Roger Ailes’ ALLEGED homophobic comments about him and other journalists and the rumor that that is the reason Smith never officially came out:
“That’s not true. He was as nice as he could be to me. I loved him like a father. I trusted him with my career and with ― I trusted him and trusts were betrayed. … He treated me with respect, just respect.”
Funny though, Shep, that it wasn’t until after Ailes was ousted that you, albeit in a sideways slant, came out as a gay man.

So, take a seat, please, and keep quiet.
Last May, when the Dodgers played the Cubs in Chicago, the team stayed at the Trump International Hotel and Tower -- except for first baseman Adrian Gonzalez, who made accommodations to stay elsewhere … presumably because the hotel is owned by Donald:
“I didn’t stay there. I had my reasons.”
It's assumed that Gonzalez's reasons include Donald’s anti-Mexican stance and his constant blathering about that great wall; Gonzalez is Mexican-American, and is involved in numerous charitable efforts in Mexico.

Good on him for taking a stand.