Tuesday, January 27, 2015

A Pair of Oklahoma Asshats

Boy oh boy, the Republicans in Oklahoma really hate The Gays. I mean, how else do you explain the sudden rash of anti-gay, anti-marriage equality legislation that is being proposed by just two of Oklahoma’s wingnuts?

First up, we have Republican state Congressman Todd Russ who says he wants to protect court clerks from having to issue licenses to same-sex couples because, well, gay, and doesn’t want these clerk to have to condone or facilitate same-sex marriages.

Well, Todd, let me make this queer: doing your job by issuing a marriage licenses — or baking a cake or arranging flowers for that matter — is not condoning same-sex marriages, it doing the job for which you were hired and paid; and don’t get me started that there is not a single gay couple anywhere in the world who asked to have their marriage “condoned” by a court clerk or baker or florist. Plus, doing your job doesn’t facilitate same-sex marriage; it just means that you did your job. And if you choose not to do your job, kindly quit and find some job in Haterville that suits your bigoted needs and let someone who will perform the job for which they were hired do it. M’kay?

But, even better than that, under Todd Russ’ plan, you won’t be married when the state says you’re married; you’ll be legally wed when a “religious official” signs your marriage certificate. Then that official would file the license with the clerk.

But what about religious officials who don’t hate, Todd; those pastors and ministers and priests and rabbis who wish to perform same-sex marriages? Are those then legal, or are they still denied because a court clerk hates The Gays? And if that’s the case, then your new law makes no sense; you are allowing religion to dictate law and that ain’t how we work in America.

Russ goes on to say that marriages “are not supposed to be a government thing anyway.” But they are, Todd, they are; and I would suggest that, if you’re married, and I’m unsure about that because you have a bad case of Gay Face, you begin my having your legal marriage annulled, and then find a preacher to marry you and the missus. You want the laws changed, Toddy, you get the ball rolling.

Russ also makes note of the fact that the people of Oklahoma voted, and yes, by an overwhelming margin, back in 2004, for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and he hates that a judge, a judge, y’all, decided that treating gay people as less than in Oklahoma was wrong, and reversed that vote in October 2014. He’s apparently unaware that times, and minds, have changed from 2004 to 2014, for most everyone in the country except people like Todd Russ …

And Sally Kern. She’s another wingnut Republican Oklahoma state Representative, and she wants to go Todd Russ one, well, two better, by filing three measures aimed at the LGBT community. Kern, as you may recall, is infamous for saying that the, ahem, “Homosexual Agenda” was destroying the nation and posed a bigger threat to the nation than terrorism. Uh huh, yes she did. Of course, she had no proof, no reasonable argument, to back up her claims, but as bigots do, they just spout hate and call it truth.

First up is House Bill 1599, AKA the “Preservation and Sovereignty of Marriage Act.” House Bill 1599 says that no taxpayer funds or governmental salaries can be used for the licensing or support of same-sex marriage.

Again, Sally, we don’t need your support, we need you to do your job. And as taxpayers, we expect to be treated as all taxpayers and if you don’t want us to get married, Old Girl, get thee to a divorce court and end your marriage, too.

Then we have House Bill 1598 or the “Freedom to Obtain Conversion Therapy Act” which would allow parents to seek counseling and therapy to change a gay child’s sexual orientation without interference from the state.

Meaning a religious wingnut parent could force their child into therapy for being gay; and if we learned anything from Leelah Alcorn — and so many others — who killed themselves after being forced into reparative therapies, we learned that they don’t work, and all they do is damage young people, making them feel even more unloved, unliked and less than.

Last of all is House Bill 1597, a measure to allow businesses to refuse to provide services to the gay community, among others AKA “It’s OK to be a Bigot in OK.” It which would allow businesses to refuse service “to any lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender person, group or association,” and be immune from civil liability.

It’s really just a law that allows people to use their religion to deny services to an American citizen. But, does Sally think … and I’ll stop there for a moment because she clearly does not … that her little bill would allow, say, a Christian baker to refuse service to a Muslim customer; or vice versa? And, if I’m, say, an agnostic, can I use that to deny services to a religious couple or group?

What’s good for the Bigot Goose, Sally …

How is it possible, even in Oklahoma, that rational people — and I’m sure some Oklahomans are rational — look at these two morons who, with all that’s facing their state, devote any of their time to seeking to deny rights to the LGBT people, to allow LGBTQ youth to be forced into a therapy that reinforces an outdated notion that they are somehow damaged, that want to take marriage away from the government and give it to the churches but then make the state follow the law of the church.

We don’t do that in America; not even in Oklahoma.
Sally Kern

Brandon Smith Is A State Senator So He Is Allowed To Drive Drunk

Brandon Smith, a Republican … dontcha know … state senator from Kentucky is trying to have his DUI charge dismissed because a one-hundred-twenty-three year old addition to the state constitution bans lawmakers from being arrested while the legislature is in session.
Yes, he’s doing just that.
See, Smith was arrested and charged with DUI on January 6, the very first day of Kentucky’s 2015 legislative session and, after a Breathalyzer test, was found to have a blood alcohol level of .088; even in Kentucky a person is presumed drunk when the alcohol to blood ratio is .08 and above.
But Smith’s attorney Bill Johnson has filed a motion to dismiss the charges citing section 43 of the Kentucky Constitution which states that "members of the General Assembly shall, in all cases except treason, felony, breach of surety of the peace, be privileged from arrest during their attendance on the sessions of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same."
That language was added to the constitution in 1891.
And even Bill Johnson admits that the purpose of that addition was to "keep legislators from being bothered by people who would arrest them during sessions." It was not created to allow asshats like Brandon Smith to get out of a drunk driving charge when he was clearly drunk.
I wonder if Brandon Smith and Johnson would have filed suit to dismiss the charges if Brandon Smith, while driving drunk, killed someone.
Is this what passes for a legislator in Kentucky? A man who clearly breaks the law, endangering the citizens of hisstate, and then tries to weasel out of the crime because of an ancient statuette that doesn’t really apply to him.
No one was trying to arrest Smith during the legislative session to disrupt the session or to “bother” him; he was arrested for breaking the law, for driving drunk.
You’d think a legislator would try to uphold the law, not find some way to circumvent taking responsibility for his actions.
If you’d like, go HERE to send Smith an email telling him to take responsibly for his actions and not try to hide behind some antiquated law.

Weddings and Cocktails and Birthdays ... Oh My!

I’m back!

Gosh it seems like I was off-blog for two days! 

Two days! 

It felt like a stint in rehab, so now I know what Lohan goes through. And I also see that no one managed to pick up a broom and clean up while I was gone. Would it have killed anyone to run a vacuum through the place for me?

Okay … I’ll be fine. And happy, too, knowing that the computer issue that stopped me cold in my tracks was really not that big a problem at all, and fixed by the nice folks at PC Medic in a couple of hours. Then it was back home, fired up and ready for action …

So, what’s been happening around here since I’ve been gone? Well, first things first, today is my birthday — and, no, I don‘t mean my blog birthday I mean the actual days I came slip-sliding out into the world just phumpity-phump-phump short years ago.

And, seeing that I lived yet another year, Carlos made plans to wine me and dine me last Saturday night, until we got The News a week ago Sunday. The News was that our dear friends, and former Round-The-Way-Gays — they are now the Further-Round-The-Way-Gays — David and Neal had decided to get married on the 24th after :::gasp::: a mere 31 years as a couple. Why the rush, I wanted to say, but, thankfully kept my mouth shut.

We have a mutual friend, Chuck, who is a licenses minister and he longed to perform the marriage ceremony for David and Neal and those two crazy kids were just gonna dash up to Chuck and Jeannie’s house and tie the knot all secretive and such. Then another friend, John, heard about that and suggested David and Neal get married is his and his husband Toby’s — they married last October 24t— backyard. It would be just a handful of people, until John began calling friends and inviting people and keeping it a secret.

It turned out to be about twenty or so friends and family who witnessed the wedding — making it my second same-sex wedding, though I never actually believed I’d ever see even one. There was champagne and red wine and white wine and champagne and then thankfully food and fun and cake and pictures and just a fabulous, fun, friendly, family day.

Congratulations David and Neal.

After the party, Carlos and I headed off to dinner at a local restaurant with a view of downtown Columbia and the river, to pre-celebrate the Day Of My Birth. And there was more wine and more martinis and pastas and a killer stacked salads and a delish Key Lime Pie for dessert. And the company of the sweetest man I’ve ever met. We don’t get out to nice diners — just the two of us — very often—so it was just a great evening sitting with Carlos and chatting with Carlos and laughing with Carlos and drinking martoonies with Carlos.

Of course, as happens, Sunday came around and the first thing I did was put my slippers on the wrong feet, so either I am officially old — and who said thirty was old? — or I was still reeling from champ-wine-tooni night. Luckily the computer was still ill because I doubt I’d have been able to slap together a concise yet cogent sentence — as if I’ve ever done that — about anything at all.

So, that was the weekend, with fun, and fury, and fun, and now here I am, thinking of cutting myself open to count he rings and see how old I actually am …

… I think it’s somewhere between forty and death.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Uh Oh--UPDATE 1/25/2015 Updated 1/26/2015

Computer ills ... and y'all know that I know so much about computers.
Back soon.

1/25/2015: Tommorrow the computer gets checked into the Hospital to see what ails her.
Hopefully, it's an easy fix and then I'll be back.. Until then .... play nice!

1/26/2015: It's fixed. T'was nothing major, and I'll be back a'blogging in the AM!

Saturday, January 24, 2015

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I’m loving the new Fox show, Empire — some critics say it’s the best new show of the year though I won’t go that far — mainly because of Taraji P. Henson who plays Cookie, and plays her fiercely. The downside of Empire? That pile of smug, Terrence Howard, a misogynistic douchebag who has been accused of assaulting women at least six time … that we know about … because he’s kind of Bill Cosby Lite., you know.

Out to promote his show, Terrence wants you to know that he’s a good guy, who was only a douche because he was frustrated as a child because he didn’t know who he was, and that he stopped abusing women last year, after marrying for the fourth time:

“A lot of things that I got involved with in younger days, in the earlier days was the product of my environment. [It was] the product of not knowing how to deal with frustration, the product of not knowing who Terrence Howard is. Now I’m married with a new wife, with a brand new baby. I’ve grown so much from anything that’s happened in the past.”

Let’s dish: Howard’s record of ALLEGEDLY assaulting women dates back to 2000 when he was accused of grabbing and shoving a flight attendant during a flight — he was also accused of assault in 2001, 2005, 2011, and 2012 — and then runs right on through to 2013 when his ex-wife ALLEGED that he “knocked her down” and kicked her in the head.

Howard admitted to some of the assaults when questioned by the police, and has taken plea deals in some situations, and in others, the charges were dropped after being “settled in civil court” AKA payoff court.

So, it’s not really in the past is it? Nor is it anything to forget.
What’s this? Lindsay Lohan got a job? In America?

Lohan is currently shooting a commercial for the Allstate’s online brother, Esurance to air during the Super Bowl.

Seriously, Lohan, who’s been in more accidents than I have fingers, is doing a commercial for car insurance? I mean, how many people has she run over and how many cars has she ruined?

You can’t make this stuff up.
Okay, so it’s no secret that Bruce Jenner no longer looks like Bruce Jenner, Olympian, but looks more like, and I’ll say it, Brenda Jenner; but that’s his business and his life and his face and his Adam’s apple and hair and fingernail polish.

But InTouch Weekly stooped to new low recently by superimposing Bruce’s face onto Stephanie Beacham‘s body and adding full makeup in what most rational folks are seeing an attempt to “out” him as transgender. And, let’s remember that Bruce has never spoken about his new look, er looks, publicly so there is no actual factual truth to the story.

In any case, Bruce isn’t the one who’s angry about the story, no, that falls to That Woman, his ex-wife, because the world revolves around her. She is reportedly so incensed over the story that she has had a meltdown — though you cannot tell by her face which has seen more upgrades and injectibles than Bruce’s — and says she will no longer sell give stories to In Touch; oh, and she did not, oh no she did not, give them this story at all.

A source — and it’s Khloe because, well, what else does she have to do besides Instagram her newly thinned waistline all over town — says, “Kris has cut off contact with In Touch, Life & Style and all Bauer publications. They won’t get any ‘real’ quotes from the family, and will be banned from Kardashian-Jenner red carpets, events, premieres and fashion events.”

Until Kris has something to shill, like her ALLEGED upcoming Playboy spread.

Spread. Ew.
In keeping up with the Bruce Transformation Theme … it appears he might just be ready to talk about his new look, but only if it’s done on, wait for it, it’s so predictable, on the 10th season of Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes.

A source — Khloe … yawn — says:

“Bruce and Kris address his changing appearance in a scene they shot together. It will be a plotline.”

Um, if you call it a “plotline” are you finally admitting this is not a “reality” show?

Anyway, you can be sure this “conversation” will be drawn out for an entire season of Kardastrophe until Bruce says he changed his appearance because, well, he wanted to do it … to distance himself once and for all from those famewhores.
Now onto another Kardastrophe, Kanye West Kardastrophe.

He’s talking about the time he was racially profiled by the police … arrested and charged with stealing printers from an OfficeMax back in 2000 … because of his braids.

The story is back now because Kanye was deposed in the case filed against him by a photographer whom Kanye assaulted. In the deposition, Kayne admits to being convicted of a felony and says it was because he was “racially profiled for having a white T-shirt and braids.”

But Kanye gets loose when the details — admitting he was arrested — and doesn’t say where he was when the arrest came down; he does say, of course, that he was already a successful music producer. He also adds that the police doctored evidence to frame him, saying, “I was driving a white Ford Expedition. When I saw the police report, they crossed out where it said ‘Cream Ford Explorer.’”

Cream. White. Oy Kanye, that shrieks conspiracy.

Kanye believes he was convicted of a felony but says it was actually “a mistaken identity for stealing some printers from OfficeMax after I was a platinum producer.”

Maybe he was arrested because his music was so bad, too?
Maybe you never saw it, it was on TV for a hot minute, but LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian‘s reality show has been canceled.

I know! I mean, the couple created the show to dispel rumors about their marriage and how they got together, but apparently no one cared.

Or, everyone knows how they got together: they cheated on their spouses and then dumped the spouses and married one another until such time as one or the other cheats again and that marriage will end and they will each go on to star in another reality show that will be canceled because …

… no one cares about Eddie and LeAnn.
Meanwhile, back at Lohan …

You remember that Lindsay recently completed a not-so-horrific run in Speed-the-Plow in London’s West End and so she’s feeling like a ‘real’ actress again, especially since rumor has it that Oprah wants to capitalize on crazy again and get Lohan a job on Broadway.

My first thought was as an usher but does anyone think Lohan could find a seat in a theater? I mean, there are numbers and letters involved and counting and the alphabet are not her strong suits. But, an insider — possibly Oprah’s husband Gayle — says:

“Oprah bought the rights to several books that she wants to produce for the stage, and Lindsay is begging to be cast in one [but] if that doesn’t work out, she’s hoping Oprah can get her an audition for something like ‘Cabaret.’”

Can you imagine Lindsay Lohan on Broadway? I can’t, not since Giuliani ran the hookers off of 42nd Street!
At a Chris Brown concert you’re just as likely to see him grab his crotch and rap incoherently as get shot.

Truly. Five people were shot at his latest show in San Jose, and now it appears that the judge in charge of Chrissy’s probation isn’t feeling him performing any more. Plus, since Chris went to San Jose without consent of the court, Judge James Brandlin revoked his probation and ordered a further report and hearing on the singer’s status.

A district attorney’s spokesman says Brown specifically violated a provision that forbids him to leave Los Angeles County because he’s still on probation for RihannaGate and still has 200 hours of community service to complete; Two-hundred hours … even if he worked his community service hours off to the tune of fifteen hours a day, he’d barely complete them before his next court date.

Chris Brown is a complete asshat; I mean, he knew he couldn’t leave LA County without permission but feels like the law doesn’t apply to him. I hope the judge tosses his ass back in jail where, when he performs in Cellblock Idol no one will get shot.
In a bit of a Throwback, let’s talk Jason Priestly, known mostly for — okay, known only for — being on 90210 back in the day.

Priestly apparently wrote his memoirs last year because … I don’t know why … and while trying to scare up some interest in them, told a tale of how, while on Beverly Hills 90210, he was on his way to a PR event with Shannon “Crazy” Doherty in a town Car and claims that she bitched at the publicist for not sending a limo to pick her up.

Oooh drama. At least it must have been drama to Shannon — who also has nothing but time on her hands — because  she was just on the Sirius XM show “Just Jenny” — no, not McCarthy thank god — and says Priestly lied about the story because, get this, she hates limos, and he has brain damage … or something:

“I love Jason, but you know he had a car accident, a while ago, a racing accident, and I think maybe parts of his memory got altered from that. Because you know, I’ve addressed this before, everybody changes … they have their own perception of the truth. And his is definitely different than mine. Cause … supposedly I wanted a limo and I’ve always hated limos my entire life. … I just know that at some point, everybody just needs to sell a book, right?”

Lord, two has-beens fighting over a story about a car from 1990? It’s a slow week for gossip.
Taylor Swift is an angel and everyone’s mean to her. I mean, how dare Jake Gyllenhaal show up at a Golden Globes after-party when she was planning on being there, too? She was forced to grab her Gaggle of Besties and head off for the ladies room to bitch and kvetch and cry about her ex :::gasp::: dancing with other girls.

But, it turns out Little TayTay isn’t all Sugar and Spice and inane lyrics and victim of bad boy choices, because, according to Star — hey, sometimes they get it right —she became the Globes Bad Girl by pressuring her BFF, 18-year-old high school friend, Lorde to have a drink at the ball.

A source says Taylor was drinking a rum and coke, but decided to switch to wine and so she started “feeding her rum and coke to Lorde.” Tay Tay apparently told Lorde she didn’t have to drink if she didn’t want to, but kept saying “rum is so good!” and “you’ll feel pretty” and “boys will like you.”

Who knew Taylor was really Rizzo and not Sandy?
So, last week a photo appeared online of John Travolta creeping up on a guy at 3AM in an LA gym; it was creepy because, well, Travolta, gym, massage, ick, and because it’s one of the rare times Travolta’s been photographed without that muskrat on his head.

Now, though, the guy who was creeped up on — one Justin Jones, a married stepfather of two children — has given an interview to The National Enquirer about the incident:

 “I was completely aware of what was happening. He just walks right up to me and introduces himself – ‘Hi, I’m John.’ He asked what I do for a living, if I was married, if I have kids, and what do I do with my spare time. … I understood what was happening when it was happening – it was in his body language. It didn’t make me uncomfortable, but I noticed it.”

It would make me uncomfortable, unless I was in a HazMat suit with a spray bottle of bleach in my hand.

For his part, Travolta explained that he goes to the gym at 3AM to work out because … he … has … kids.

Um, okay?

Friday, January 23, 2015

PR All-St★rs 4 Ep 10: Separation Anxiety

All right, this week we’re gonna keep it simple, because I have a lot to say …

Here’s the deal: Alyssa and Lisa Robertson from QVC — who seems to be made from some sort of plastic material, with perfectly spackled make-up   tell the designtestants that this week’s challenge is to design separates — two items that can be worn together or … yes … separately — plus a fashion-forward version of that look. As a bonus, QVC will manufacture one design, one separate, to be sold as part of their G.I.L.I. line.

The designers have $300 per total and one day to make it work, so let’s rip …
THE TOPS
DMITRY 
As always. Dmitry does what Dmitry wants, and he wants to dress every woman in neoprene and lace because, well, he’s Dmitry and he knows best.

WHAT ZANNA SAID 
The Ready-To-Wear is too extreme, so he’s really going to have to push the fashion Forward look to make them stand apart.

WHAT HE SAID
Ready-To-Wear: Who would have thought … neoprene and lace?
Fashion Forward: It has a beauty about it.

WHAT I SAID
Ready-To-Wear: What Every Woman is going to wear some midriff-bearing wrap jacket made of rubber, er, neoprene? And the lace looks like an afterthought to tie the two looks together. Beautiful? Yes. Well-crafted? Always. But not suited to the challenge.
Fashion Forward: I loathe this dress. I see the jagged hem of the short dress through the lace and it looks like a Wilma Flintstone dress under there. I loathe.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thinks he’s done a fabulous job, but feels the Fashion Forward look is more accessible — i.e. wearable — than his Ready-To-Wear. Isaac disagrees with her and says neither look is Fashion Forward and that they are just two “pretty dresses.” Lisa Robertson loves the yellow number, but thinks it’s far too short — and yet not a word about the jagged hem, while George Kotsiopoulos said Dmitry nailed it and both are beautiful and versatile. Alyssa didn’t really say he’d completed the challenge as much as she complimented him on his skill set.

WHAT HAPPENED
Dmitry's safe.

HELEN 
She doesn’t do Ready-To-Wear; she makes gowns, and only gowns. Michelle is sure this challenge will be Helen’s undoing, and Helen agrees, saying she’s in Fashion Purgatory — which I think looks like the Half-Off Bin at Wal-Mart.

WHAT ZANNA SAID
She likes the color combination on the RTW look, but worries that the Fashion Forward piece reads a little ‘Morticia.’

WHAT SHE SAID
Ready-To-Wear: So sweet, super cute, fun and flirty.
Fashion Forward: So fashion forward.

WHAT I SAID
Ready-To-Wear:  It is just so precious, but is it something a woman over forty—hell, over thirty—would wear? And if it makes a teeny model look a little wide, how is it gonna look on a curvy gal?
Fashion Forward: Another freakin’ cape-let. On her season, Helen was all about the cape, and here she is calling another cape Fashion Forward.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thinks it’s a wonderful job, and loves the colors of the RTW look. George, though, said the separates don’t really work on all body types—which is the QVC customer after all—while Isaac called the Fashion Forward look both amazing, and the more sellable to the two looks. Alyssa wants the Fashion Forward look, to wear, and then throw in a box until her daughter is twenty—and would then presumably wear it to a Halloween party? Lisa Robertson said the Fashion Forward dress is so beautiful, it blinds you to how unattractive the RTW look seems to be.

WHAT HAPPENED
Helen's safe.

SONJIA
I didn’t know this before, but Sonjia doesn’t really so much as sketch as much as she walks through Mood waiting for a fabric to inspire her. M’kay, um, yeah, not the best idea I guess.

And because she does this she loses time and ends up throwing some yellow fabric on the ground and cutting holes in it and then throwing it on a model, and then cutting squares in it. M’kay, um, yeah, not the best idea I guess.

WHAT ZANNA SAID
She likes the RTW dress, but worries that Sonjia always makes a pencil skirt — and will become The Pencil Skirt Lady; she has no opinion on the Fashion Forward because there’s no design, and no dress when she visits the workroom.

WHAT SHE SAID
Ready-To-Wear: It’s delicate and feminine and strong.
Fashion Forward: This girl has got it going on.

WHAT I SAID
Ready-To-Wear: It grew on me — even though it’s still a pencil skirt. I could see it working together and working as separates.
Fashion Forward: To me, this is a mess. It’s a bag, a yellow bag, with some squares cut into it to link it to the RTW look, with a grey coat in RTW fabric thrown over it to further make the looks seem cohesive.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Isaac thought the RTW was “beyond” and gorgeous; he also loved the cutouts and the lace. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thinks the yellow dress would work better flipped around; she loathes the dress, but admits Sonjia is the only one who nailed the separates part of the challenge. Alyssa says “YES. YES. YES.” to both looks. Lisa Robertson loves the edginess of the Fashion Forward piece, while George also felt Sonjia was the best at creating separates.

WHAT HAPPENED
Sonjia wins.
THE BOTTOMS
MICHELLE 
She makes separates! She designs for the Every Woman! This is in her wheelhouse — a phrase she uses far too often and almost always signals, if not a death knell, a Bottom Three Knell.

WHAT ZANNA SAID
She worries that the RTW needs more versatility, and that the hot pants beneath the Fashion Forward look border on tacky.

WHAT SHE SAID
Ready-To-Wear: It looks effortless … wicked cool.
Fashion Forward: The sleeves are just wonderful.

WHAT I SAID
Ready-To-Wear: I like Michelle, I do, but this looks Circus clown to me from the print, to the shape to the styling. All it needs are some big shoes and a red nose.
Fashion Forward: If all you’ve got going are wonderful sleeves that should be the first sign that it’s not enough. It looks like pajamas … old lady granny panties pajamas.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Isaac hates the print and calls it “Duty free” — whatever that means, though maybe he meant, as I thought, ‘doody’? Just sayin’. The beautiful Georgina Chapman™ is not sure she likes the print, but she does like the attitude of the looks. Lisa Robertson was so flummoxed she couldn’t say whether she loved them or hated them, while George said he loves a print — even that print George? — and says both looks are Fashion forward. Alyssa thought the RTW skirt was overworked, but loved the romanticism of the Fashion Forward look.

WHAT HAPPENED
Michelle is safe.

FABIO
Fabio. Fabio. Fabio. I adore you so, but, seriously, your color palette is annoying. He liked nothing he saw at Mood—save for some white silk and baby blue leather—so he opted to dye his own fabrics, making his own textile; but, as usual, it’s pastel blue and the inevitable pink that he chooses.

WHAT ZANNA SAID 
She liked his dyed fabric but worried that both looks were too simple.

WHAT HE SAID
Ready-To-Wear: A true example of the kind of woman I want to dress.
Fashion Forward: Something really, really classic.

WHAT I SAID
Ready-To-Wear: This is cute. I loved the play of the leather front, and the hand-painted fabric in the back, and while a skort sounds scary to me, it looks cute … and young.
Fashion Forward: I like the fabric—though I loathe the colors—but how is this at all Fashion Forward and how does it relate to the Ready-To-Wear piece? I think Fabio suffer from Dmitry-it is, too, in that he does what he wants and then tries to fake it into the challenge parameters.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
George says the Fashion Forward dress feels cute, a little young, but not Fashion Forward, while Alyssa liked the skort and leather top, thinking they would both sell.  The Beautiful Georgia Chapman™ thought the dress needed either less or more. Lisa Robertson liked the skort, loved the leather, but felt it was just all too simple. Isaac, though, was not amused; he thought the Fashion Forward look was over-thought, and felt both pieces were irrelevant.

WHAT HAPPENED
He's safe, though not before Isaac says, “Fabio? You’ve been in the bottom a lot. Don’t do it again.”

JAY
He does only Ready-To-Wear, and yet he struggles; he struggles because he always wants to do more, make more, do extra, because he thinks that will win, when all it does it force him to make a lot of crap pieces.

He cannot find the perfect fabric at Mood, so he just fills a basket with all kinds of stuff, and then goes back to the workroom and makes about a hundred different outfits.

WHAT ZANNA SAID 
She hates the fabric he chose for the pants on the Ready-To-Wear look, and thinks the design of his Fashion Forward piece — he has nothing done on that one — appears more wearable.

WHAT HE SAID
Ready-To-Wear: I’m happy. That’s all that matters.
Fashion Forward: It’s really relaxed and easy.

WHAT I SAID
Ready-To-Wear: look, if all you say about your look is that you like it and nothing else matters, you’ve already packed your bags to go home. And if it’s raining, use the pants to protect you from the elements.
Fashion Forward: A freaking mullet dress, covered in pleats, that looks both heavy and too short and not enough. Use that to hail a cab for the airport, Jay.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
George says the pants look messy because the fabric is just the worst. Alyssa loves the RTW top, but that’s not saying a lot. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said the trousers — don’t you just love a Brit who says trousers or is that just me — are bad, and feels like Jay has already given up. Lisa Robertson loved the color and draping of the Fashion Forward piece, while Isaac called it heavy and wrong and short.

WHAT HAPPENED
In short, Jay's out.
MY TAKE
I called Jay’s exit last week, though I’ll miss the Cutie Patootie.

The best line of the night — other than Isaac’s smack to Fabio — is from Sonjia, who listened as Jay talked about making three or four pieces for his RTW look:

“It’s too many pieces. You can only do two. Two, hunty, not three.”

The runner-up is Michelle, for her comment on Jay’s RTW pants:

“I think he took a table cloth and made a pair of pants. Which is good if you’re eating ribs.”

Fabio needs to stop with the pink and the simple and the plain if he wants a spot in the finale. I so like him and his aesthetic, but this Pink Period is just getting old. I wish they’d create a challenge where each designer cannot do something they’ve already done:

No pink for Fabio.
No form fitting dress from Dmitry.
Lose the pencil and create a sketch, Sonjia
Cut the wackadoo prints from Michelle.
Stop with the cape-lets for Helen.
Then maybe we’d get something good from these people.

As it stands now, it’s Dmitry and Sonjia at The Tents — or whatever is passing for The Tents now — with Helen up there, too. Michelle may go next, if Fabio doesn’t snap out it.

What did YOU think?