Monday, February 24, 2020

PR 18 Ep 11: Let The Games Begin


After a brief moment at the penthouse, where Victoria gets several dozen flowers from her husband for her birthday, we are mercifully taken to the runway for this week’s challenge.

Karlie introduces the designtestants to six women who are 2020 Summer Olympians:  rugby player Naya Tapper, track and marathoner Tatyana McFadden, freestyle wrestler Helen Maroulis, indoor volleyball player Foluke Akinradewo Gunderson, shotgun shooter Kim Rhode, and sprinter/long jumper Scout Bassett. Since the athletes have unique bodies specialized to their sports, the designtestants will make custom victory dresses for their client.

The Button Bag comes out and the designtestants are matched up with a client: Geoffrey gets Naya, Nancy gets Tatyana, Victoria gets Helen, Sergio gets Foluke, Brittany gets Kim, and Marquise gets Scout.

Sounds fun, but, yikes, it’s another one-day challenge, though they have $400 for Mood.

Let’s rip …
TOPS AND BOTTOMS
BRITTANY
Kim Rhode, shooter
Kim wants black. Brittany likes prints and color. But she claims she can adapt, though I’m not sure we’ve ever seen her do that. Kim wants ‘the girls’ out, so there will be a deep plunge at the neckline, but she also has very defined tan lines on her arms from shooting, so she wants those covered up in some kind of strap or sleeve.

Christian likes that Brittany is working in dark colors, which aren’t in her comfort zone, but wants her to “push it” more into her aesthetic.

And yet Kim seems to like the look, though that’s not the highest praise, so maybe a push wouldn’t be the thing to do for a woman who knows how to shoot a gun? Plus, there’s a whole lot of cleavage tumbling out of this dress, so, yeah, even I’m worried.

WHAT SHE SAID
Mine’s the most formal, but it’s exactly what Kim wanted, and it looks like me.

WHAT I SAID
It’s nice, it’s safe, it’s basic; it’s a lot of boobs. It looks nothing like minimal high-low strappy Brittany.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The judges critique the looks with the client onstage first: Elaine says Kim looks like “a bag of money,” while Karlie questions the plunging neckline—even though Kim wanted it.

After the client leaves, the knives come out: Nina calls it a “smart fabric,” but a “very cliché dress”—a “Little Black Dress” that they’ve seen before—and wished Brittany had put her creative stamp on it. Guest judge, Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn also wished Brittany had pushed Kim out of her comfort zone a little. Brandon thought the dress could be worn by any woman, which in this challenge, is not a compliment.

GEOFFREY
Naya Tapper, rugby
Geoffrey bonds with Naya about rugby, though he doesn’t really know what it is: is it played with a net? Um, no, it’s not.

He is also one of three designers opting for a red dress; a party dress for Naya’s night out celebrating with girlfriends. He makes a mini miniskirt with a long slit and strappy shoulders, and Christian is worried about that.

“It’ll be something,” they both say, though they mean different things. But Christian is also worried that the waistline is too high, and the bust line is too low, and the hips are doing something tragic.

Geoffrey recuts the entire look in about a minute. And then disaster strikes: someone … :::cough::: Nancy :::cough::: … melted black double-stick tape on the iron and it ended up on his dress, and we all know the judges will spot it right off.

And Christian is still worried about the hips, so at the very last moment, with everyone headed to the runway, Geoffrey opts to solve that problem. It’s played to look like he won’t make it, but then we see him outside smoking, so it was all for drama.

WHAT HE SAID
She is nailing it …she looks so happy.

WHAT I SAID
I like it though that slit is dangerously close to the fine china, and the fit of the top seems baggy.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
With Naya present, Brandon says she looks “expensive,” though he also notes the stain. Lindsey calls her “confident” and “glowing” and says she “looks incredible.”

With Naya gone, Elaine isn’t going to take points off for the stain but called it “loose around the chest area.” Elaine was “offended” the “tacky” and “stiff” and “rigid” and “shiny” fabric, but Karlie thought Geoffrey made the only victorious party dress for a woman in her 20s going out to a club. Nina worried that when Naya moved you could almost see an “accident.” Brandon thought it was cool and chic.

SERGIO
Foluke Akinradewo Gunderson, indoor volleyball
Foluke is pregnant, and Sergio has never made a maternity dress before because his dresses are too expensive for them to want to invest in with their bodies changing, so Mister Political won’t do maternity. Gimme a break.

Christian doesn’t think Sergio’s design is very “exciting” and Sergio thinks Christian doesn’t understand because he wasn’t in the client consultation. These two are so uncomfortable together because Sergio doesn’t think he needs Christian’s critiques; and yet maybe another set of eyes could have spared us those sleeves?

Still, Foluke seems happy with what Sergio is designing, and that’s kind of all that matters. Kind of … until Sergio opens his yap again:
“My design is so good that she’s already won the gold.”
Cue smackdown; literal and figurative.

WHAT HE SAID
I love what I’ve done … from the color to the silhouette, it makes me stand out.

WHAT I SAID
It’s an A-line, T-shirt gown with a cutout in back.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
With Foluke onstage, Elaine loved that it wasn’t traditional maternity wear. Nina thinks Sergio celebrated her pregnancy while still making it feminine and sexy. Lindsey thought Foluke looked confident while Brandon called the color a hard choice but said Foluke looked “gorgeous.”

With Foluke gone, Karlie thought it was “beautiful” and “stunning,” but said it was a day dress and not a gown. Elaine wanted the baby bump showcased more and when Sergio clutched his pearls and said he would never make a pregnant woman wear something tight, Elaine gave him the Welteroth Head Tilt Eye Roll™ which spoke volumes. Brandon thought the chiffon on the bottom was “beautiful” but felt the sleeves and the darts were off.

MARQUISE
Scout Bassett, sprinter/long jump
Scout is tiny, and clearly has a hard time finding adult looks to wear; she also has a prosthetic leg and really wants to show it off, and Marquise shows her a sketch with a very long slit.

Perfection.

Marquise also goes for red at Mood, but Scout is from China and wants the red to represent China and America. He also accommodates her with her prosthetic leg because heels are tough to maneuver in, and creates a look she can wear with gold sneakers.

Christian thinks “there’s something there” with Marquise’s braiding effect for the straps, but says it’s missing a “cool” factor and doesn’t seem very Marquise. It feels a little “bridesmaid’s” to Christian—which is a death knell on the PR—but Marquise, and Scout, love it, so …

WHAT HE SAID
I feel honored to make a dress for Scout.

WHAT I SAID
I like that she rocks the leg, but other than that, it seems kinda basic.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
With Scout onstage, explaining that often times disabled people feel a need to hide their disability, Elaine says the community sees Scout. Nina thinks Scout looks “amazing” and that the dress is “perfect for her petite figure.”

With Scout gone, Karlie loved the reveal of her prosthetic leg, but felt the bodice was “more sheer than it needed to be.” Lindsey thought the design looked very young in spite of the slit and wished Marquise had gone more “sophisticated.” Nina, who has liked that Marquise makes an outfit for himself that pairs with his model, wished he’d spent more time on Scout’s look, and not made his own—very cool—shirt.

VICTORIA
Helen Maroulis, freestyle wrestling
Apparently, it’s Victoria’s birthday and she has gotten dozens of roses from her hubby, and Brittany’s Green-Eyed Monster says:
“Look, it’s a rose for every time she’s been on the top.”
To be fair, Victoria has hovered at or near the bottom lately. And then, maybe since it’s her birthday, or just plain dumb luck, Victoria gets Helen, who wants a high-low, asymmetrical red dress with cutouts and straps. Brittany doesn’t fail to notice this either.

So, Victoria makes a “Victoria dress” in red for Helen, who loves it so much she says:
"I'll wear this with pins in it!"
One sticking point is that Victoria doesn’t like dresses without sleeves and Helen wants no sleeves. Christian pushes her to leave the sleeves off but is worried about the length of the salsa dress.

WHAT SHE SAID
Helen looks very confident and happy .I gave her what she wanted.

WHAT I SAID
It’s fun, it’s sexy, it’s salsa, but that flap hanging down just seems odd to me.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
With Helen onstage: Nina loves Helen’s salsa, and says fashion can be transformative and feminine and athletic.

With Helen gone, Nina sees “Victoria’s DNA” in the look. Brandon didn’t mind the length but hated the fabric. Elaine noted that Victoria was the only designer whose aesthetic came through but let’s be fair, it was the fact that Helen wanted exactly what Victoria always makes. Lindsey loved the dress and how it accentuated the model’s personality.

NANCY
Tatyana McFadden, track and field
At first, I felt Nancy had the most difficult challenge because Tatyana uses a wheelchair, but Nancy was totally up for it. Tatyana says she has trouble finding clothes because of her broad, muscular frame … and her wheelchair … and admits she’s a “little extra,” so she wants a train.

Nancy loves the idea of a train, and of creating an adaptable design that Tatyana can get in and out of herself. The biggest challenge is the train; will it get caught under the wheelchair? Will it move right? Luckily Nancy takes the time to test out the idea and figures out that shorter and narrower works best.

Nancy ends up making five pieces … blouse, corset, train, skirt, and a second skirt beneath the tulle of the first. It’s a lot but she really wants to give her client what she wants.

Once again, Christian is worried about how much time Nancy is going to need to finish her look; but that’s the usual critique with Nancy who works at her own pace and in her own way.

WHAT SHE SAID
I’m just thrilled beyond words.

WHAT I SAID
I love the train, and the skirt, but the detail around the top and across the arms seems overworked.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
With Tatyana present: Karlie called it “gorgeous,” and said no one noticed the chair; she also notes that if she had that body, she’d never put a shirt on. Brandon is wowed by the reveal of the second skirt, and Nina loves the “fashion,” “function” and “fantasy.” Lindsey calls it “stunning look.”

With Tatyana gone, Elaine thought the color was “a little uninteresting,” though Nina thought it “the right color.” She also loved that Nancy went the extra mile and thought about Tatyana getting in and out of the dress. Karlie did think the trim was a little “heavy” and more texture than necessary.  Brandon said Nancy did a great job of accommodating her client.
It looks like Nancy might finally get her win. Lindsey’s top two were Nancy and Victoria, while Elaine gave it to Victoria. Nina was especially impressed with Nancy and how she “thought about everything” and Brandon admired that Nancy always cares about the person she’s dressing.

Nancy gets her win.

As for the Bottom, Lindsey thought they all did well, but if anyone was to go it should be Marquise; bitch! Nina also thought his was too simple; et tu, Nina? Karlie thought Sergio had a pretty standard silhouette … ooh, wouldn’t it be wild if Sergio went home?

It would have been, but, because they had all pleased their clients, no one … no one … is going home.
Every week, when we watch the show, as Karlie wishes the designers ‘good luck’ in the challenge, Carlos says:
“Don’t fuck it up.”
And I remind him that is RuPaul’s line. But then this week Karlie Kloss uttered those very  words and Carlos was nowhere around to hear them. Luckily, I recorded it for him. Now, if she’d just say:
“Bring back my girls.”
Carlos would be over the Moon.

LINES OF THE NIGHT
Geoffrey, on how he isn’t into sports but has muscles:
“My muscles are more for visual sport … They’re for physical sports too, but just not Olympic sport.”
Hot to trot, eh, Geoffrey?

Geoffrey, during a conversation with Victoria about the word ‘word,’ which she mistakes as ‘weird’:
“She’s funny, she’s mean, she’s everything you could want in a girl.”
He may be onto something there.

Victoria, when the judges decide to keep them all:
“What competition is this where nobody goes home?”
Consider yourself lucky girl, because you tried to quit once and should have been sent home at least twice.

Sergio’s arrogance reveals it’s ugly mug again, as he says Brittany doesn’t has “as much of a technical background” as he does, but he’ll always help because he wants to win for his talent and not because someone, or anyone, or all of them, is not as talented as he.

After the ruling, and everyone stays, Geoffrey panics he thinks two people will go next week. He probably right.

At The Tents: Victoria, Brittany, Sergio and …MarquiseNancyGeoffrey. I haven’t quite figured the fourth spot.

Next week: the avant-garde challenge inspired by the Vessel in New York City. It could get ugly, or it could be amazing.

What did YOU think?

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Hw;efr Qassbrkyu,n Ymsl

Yes, it happened.

Carlos gave his cold.

I'm delirious. He doesn't even know I'm on the computer.

I OD'd on a lethal combination of Nyquil and Bick Boppa Rue last night and dreamed I was playing beach volleyball on a sandy hillside inside a yacht, owned by Sharon Osbourne, that was cruising the Puget Sound toward the Pacific ... thankfully she wasn't seen in the dream.

Pray for me ...
.

The Funny Papers

Clay Bennett, David Horsey, Michael de Adder, Drew Sheneman, Dave Whamond, Darrin Bell, Kevin Siers, Mike Luckovich, Nick Anderson, Michael de Adder

Saturday, February 22, 2020

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...


Oh, Tyra Banks, where have you been. A few years back you said you were creating your own Disneyland, called, Modelland, and then you vanished? Wha’happen?

Well, Tyra is back y’all, and she’s got the deets on her, ahem, attraction, Modelland. Appearing on The Talk, Tyra said that Modelland is “Harry Potter meets the modeling industry” with a little Wakanda thrown in there and is based on her self-published YA novel of the same name.

Modelland! The book and the experience! It’s set in an “alternate universe” and visitors are encouraged to join the #TheUpRiXing led by “Tookie De La Crème, and her squad of atypical beauty rebels.” At Modelland, one can rail against rigid beauty standards while taking selfies and enjoying some Smize Cream.

Seriously. And then Tyra scurried over to The View and told those ladies that her goal is to “bring modeling to the masses” where everybody can “come to Los Angeles, California”—well, to be fair, Santa Monica—where the #TheUpRiXing has opened up a portal “for everybody to come and show their beauty and their booty matters.”

Sounds like a crash and burn if you ask me, and it sounds like Tyra BanX will have no mo money in the bank when this hot mess of a bad idea slinks into the ocean off the Santa Monica Pier.
Last weekend, Amie Harwick, a 38-year-old sex therapist who was engaged to Drew Carey in 2018 before they broke up,was apparently murdered when she fell from a third-story balcony at her home in the Hollywood Hills; police are investigating and have arrested her ex-boyfriend Gareth Pursehouse who has been described as a stalker and who Amie had a restraining order out against until it expired two weeks ago. Now, this isn’t gossip; it’s sad. But it leads us to the gossip, which concerns one flapping-lipped-ignorant-loudmouth who goes by the name of Wendy Williams.

Yes, Wendy Williams shoved her big old foot in her yap …again. The murder of this woman is clearly not a laughing matter, but that didn’t stop Williams from going into a deeply bad taste when she told the audience that Amie fell to her death:
“She was killed not by Drew–but by the ex, um…’Come on down!’…”
Yes. Come on down, about a woman who may have been pushed to her death.
That’s the vile Wendy Williams, who actually appeared stunned when her audience groaned at her attempt at death humor.

Pig. I wonder how far down Williams will go next week…
It looks like maybe Al Pacino should have his girlfriend’s sign an NDA because his current ex, Israeli actress, Meital Dohan has confirmed that she and Al are over because … wait for it … he’s old and he’s cheap.

Meital, 43, and Al, 36 … years older than that, dated for about two years after meeting at a Hollywood party. Now, what gets me is that Meital had to know Al was old because the man made The Godfather nearly fifty years ago; do the math! But it was just Old Man Al, it was Cheap Old Man Al; or, as Meital says:

“It’s hard to be with a man so old, even Al Pacino. The age gap is difficult, yes. I tried to deny it, but now he is already an elderly man, to be honest. So even with all my love, it didn’t last.”

Meital was asked about Al’s gifts and said:
“He only bought me flowers… How can I say politely that he didn’t like to spend money?”
And yet she still wants to be friends with that cheap old dude:
“I had a fight with him and left him recently, but of course I really love and appreciate him, and I was glad to be there for him when he needed me, and to be a part of his legacy. It’s an honor for me. I’m glad this relationship happened between us, and hope we remain good friends.”
Perhaps she hopes to land a spot in the will where Al will leave her zippety-do-dah-day nada.
Celebrities sometimes think they are just so fabulous, and then they go and do something so moronic.

Yes, Orlando Bloom, I’m talking to you. I will thank you for those nude paddle-boarding photos from a couple of summers ago; you have a delightful looking “second” paddle. But this is about tattoos and perhaps not thinking them through all the way.

Orlando Bloom decided to get a tattoo of his son Flynn’s name rendered in Morse code on his arm. Well. He tried to do it. The finished tattoo read “Frynn,” rather than “Flynn” and sharp-eyed trolls noticed it straight away.

Luckily the permanent faux pas was fixed rather easily with the addition of a dot …or was is a dash.

But, let this be a lesson to you out there in blogland who want to get a tattoo: Double-triple-quadruple-check the spelling!

I have some Chinese symbols tattooed on my ankle and I thought they read: Compassion, Friendship, Peace and Truth, but I recently found out it means: Bring me another margarita.

Luckily, either way works for me.

Friday, February 21, 2020

I Didn't Say It ...


Pete Buttigieg, on both FOX News Sunday and CNN’s State of the Union, on remarks by made drug addict Rush Limbaugh about how voters might explain Buttigieg kissing his husband to their children:

“I’m in a faithful, loving, committed marriage. I’m proud of my marriage. I’m proud of my husband. I’m not going to be lectured on family values from the likes of Rush Limbaugh or anybody who supports Donald J. Trump as the moral as well as political leader of the United States. America has moved on and we should have politics of belonging that welcomes everybody. That’s what the American people are for. I’m saddened for what the GOP has become if they embrace that kind of homophobic rhetoric.”

Snap.
Rick Cosnett, The Flash and The Vampire Diaries actor, coming out as gay on social media:

“Hi everyone … dramatic pause … I’m gay. “I just wanted everyone to know, because I’ve made a promise to myself to live my truth every day, and sometimes that is a really hard thing to do, when you have all these subconscious things you don’t even know about from childhood, and from society, and from just life. I’m sure most of you probably knew anyway. And yeah, that’s actually all I wanted to say. I also have a sty on my eye, which really adds to the drama of the whole thing.”

Welcome out, Rick. Ad please accept as our gift from HOMO HQ the Obligatory Coming out Toaster Oven™ and a copy of The Gay Agenda.
Welcome out!
Wendy Williams, apologizing for saying on her show that gay men should “stop wearing our skirts and heels”;

“I’ll start by saying I apologize, I did not mean to offend my LGBTQ+ community on yesterday’s show. One thing I can tell you right now is that I never do the show [from] a place of malice. I understand my platform with the community, from first grade to intermediate school to high school to college to radio and now to TV. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody’s feelings. I’m just having a conversation. If you know me long enough, then you know … I live and let live every day. Life is too short. I’m 55 years old, and maybe I sounded like your auntie, your mother, your big sister, or somebody out of touch. I’m not out of touch, except for perhaps yesterday by saying what I said, so I deeply apologize, and I deeply appreciate the support that I get from the community. I will do better. I appreciate you supporting me. Thank you.”

Piss off. You only apologized when advertisers began questioning whether they wanted to continue supporting your show. And at 55 you think you would have learned by now to think before you spew your idiotic homophobic shiz at us.
Oh, and we are not “your” community.
Piss.Off.
Donald ______ Jr., the president’s idiot son saying something so ridiculous it sounds almost comical:

“My mother escaped a communist country. I grew up, I spoke a language, I have friends from communist Czechoslovakia. I waited in those, you know, bread lines, I can assure you, they are not as glamorous as Bernie and, you know, academia today make them out to be. That’s why there’s no advocates for socialism or communism who actually grew up in those places, who actually lived there, they all come here. You know, the boats only go one way.”

Yes, Junior says he waited on bread lines.
Seriously? I imagine what he meant was that he paid someone to stand in a bread line for him and then cheated that person out of the money when he got his bread.
He’s a _____ after all.
John Bolton, former national security adviser, denounced the House’s impeachment hearings as ”grossly partisan” and said his testimony would not have changed a thing:

 “People can argue about what I should have said and what I should have done. I would bet you a dollar right here and now, my testimony would have made no difference to the ultimate outcome.”

And now we’ll never know, you traitorous prick. All for a few more books sold and some coins in your pocket.

Thursday, February 20, 2020

Bobservations


Carlos is sick. I think it’s the Moron-a-virus. I kid; or do I?

See, when Carlos gets sick, no one has ever been as sick, and he hopes and hopes and prays that I “don’t get this because it’s really bad.” And then, if I do get it, and I complain about it, he says, “It’s not that bad.”

I will give him credit because he’s moved to the guest room while he’s hacking and sniffling and sneezing—so I don’t “get it”—and I’m enjoying the luxury of king-sized sleeping. But then he’s also upset because none of the cats sleep with him. Um, they want the king-sized luxury, too, you know.

This morning, as he moaned in that scratchy deep voice that would be so sexy if it weren’t for the phlegm and the coughing fits, I told him he should pray that he gets well quickly, and he said:
“God can suck my dick.”
Someone won’t be getting better any time soon, I think.
After leaders of the Nevada Culinary Workers Union alleged online bullying by Bernie Sander’s  supporters over the union’s disagreement with his health care plan, Bernie said this:
“Harassment of all forms is unacceptable to me, and we urge supporters of all campaigns not to engage in bullying or ugly personal attacks. Our campaign is building a multi-generational, multi-racial movement of love, compassion, and justice. We can certainly disagree on issues, but we must do it in a respectful manner.”
See what he does there? He accepts zero responsibility for his rabid supporters.

Hey Bernie? Tell’ em to knock it the fuck off because otherwise, you look like you condone it. And you don’t, do you?
Brad Parscale, _____’s campaign manager, Tweeted, and then deleted, a photo of Air Force One at the Daytona 500 with the caption:
“@realDonaldTrump won the #Daytona500 before the race even started.”
Twitterers took about a nanosecond to point out that the photo was from President George W. Bush’s visit to the NASCAR race in 2004.

Here’s the deal—and one or both of these things could be true—wither the _____ campaign is run by a gaggle of lying stupid asshats, or the _____campaign thinks its supporters are stupid enough to believe whatever they say.
Cardinal Valasio De Paolis—the Vatican official appointed by the pope to lead the Legion of Christ, a disgraced religious order and to clean up its history of child rape—has been called out Yolanda Martínez, whose son had been asexually assaulted by a Legion of Christ priest to report the settlement offer the church came up with to compensate her son for his rape.

Cardinal De Paolis had offered the Martínez’ family about $16,000, but only if her son would recant his testimony that the priest had repeatedly raped him when he was a 12-year-old student at the order’s youth seminary.

He gets the money for being raped if he says he lied about being raped.

The Catholic Church.
In great LGBTQ+ ally news, two of my favorite actors, Ruth Wilson and Matt 'My Husband In My head' Bomer, are set to star in the film The Book of Ruth, based on the life of Ruth Coker Burks—center—the self-described “straight church lady” who provided end-of-life care, and oftentimes funerals, to nearly 1,000 gay men with AIDS whose families had abandoned them.

You can read her story HERE
Several #GOPCoward lawmakers expressed concern over _____’s comments on the sentencing of longtime ally Roger Stone.

Really? What they say to their Glorious Leader?

Miss Lindsey: “I don’t think he should be commenting on cases in the system. I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

Susan Collins: “The president should not have gotten involved.”

My favorite is Senator Lisa Murkowski, the #GOPCoward from Alaska who was asked if she believed _____ learned any lessons from his impeachment: “Well, there haven’t been very strong indicators this week that he has.”

And yet they still kiss his ring, though in the case of Miss Lindsey, it’s the ass he’s kissing.

These three #GOPCowards are exactly why this party needs to go. They say he does bad things; they say he doesn’t do the right things; they say he’s wrong, but when it’s time to stand against him, suddenly they lose their voices.

Vote.Them.All.Out.
The other night, bored, I began flipping through channels, not really paying attention. But then … Irish accent; man, I’m a sucker for an accent. And so, I stopped, and discovered Eoin—pronounced Owen—Macken, on s showed called Stumptown.


He’s an actor, director, author and model, and has an honors degree in Psychology; smart, sexy, scraggly bed hair, soulful eyes, dimples and an accent.


Sign.Me.Up.