Thursday, November 26, 2015

Give. Thanks.

I first posted this back in Ott-Eight, a few days after I started this here blog thing, and have edited it, as need be, and reposted it, to kind of remind me of where I was then, what I thought then, and what I wanted out of life.

And I realized that the more things change the more they stay the same.

Now, not to brag, but I've been told that I am an extremely polite person. I was raised on Please and Thank You, Yes Ma'am, No Sir, and I still act that way today.

True story: I was selected for jury duty back when we lived in Miami and when they were questioning us in the courtroom, and it was my turn to stand, well, it was a narrow aisle, so I put my hands behind my back. And as the judge and the lawyers began to ask their questions, I answered Yes sir and No Sir.

The judge stopped for a second and smiled. "Are you in the military?" he asked.

"No, sir" I said. "I was raised by a military man and a Southern woman."

True story: A few years before that, while living in California, I was in a grocery store buying a birthday cake for a co-worker. I asked if I may please order a cake. May I please have a name iced onto it? I pleased and thank you'd my way through the ordering process and finally the girl left to go in the back and finish my order. But, just before disappearing into that back room, she turned and said to me, "I think you are the most polite person I've ever waited on."

I smiled and said, "Could you just shut up, please, and ice my damn cake!"

When all else fails slip into sarcasm. That's my motto. But I digress.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, probably because there are no gifts involved, except for the gift of time; time spent with loved ones and friends; the gift of thanks. This is a day of thanks for Americans; a truly American holiday, like 4th of July, but one we celebrate not with picnics and beer, firecrackers and sparklers, but with a meal we share with loved ones, friends and family.

I have so much to be thankful for this year.

Yes, the usual family and friends and health and happiness, blah blah blah, everyone says that. But I am also thankful that we are an America that has changed, that has become a little more free and a little more equal for the LGBTQ community; the march does still go on, but steps have been made, battles have been won …

Fifteen years ago, when we met and began this ride, Carlos and I couldn’t be legally married anywhere in this country, and here we are now, married for a year, legally, in South Carolina and every single other state in this country.

How I wished for that, though there were times I never saw it coming.

I am thankful for that.

I am thankful for the years I had with my sister — and missing her every single day — because of the things she taught me, and continues to teach me. I am thankful that I could see her, and feel her, alongside my Mom as Carlos and I stood in a courtroom and said, “I do.” I could feel all that love, and for that I am always thankful.

I am grateful to her four daughters, all of whom she raised so well that when Carlos and I told them we were getting married, they all responded, “Now he really is our Uncle.”

I am thankful for my Dad. He didn’t ask for a gay son, but he got one; he didn’t know what to do with a gay son, but he did the best he could. And, when the time came to marry Carlos, and we decided to go west to Washington to do it, it made my Dad’s day. I think he was more excited than we were, more proud that we were doing it. I wish every gay person could have a Dad like mine, who sees that change is good, and sees that not everyone is alike — even in your own family — but who loves you all just the same.

I am thankful for cold mornings and blue skies … colored leaves falling. I am thankful for small dogs and cats because, well, I'm bigger than them and I will always beat them. Just channeling Joan Crawford and Christina at the pool.

I am thankful for......Carlos. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about how lucky I am to have him; even the days when he makes me insane … more insane? I realize I’d rather be driven nuts by him than not to have him at all. I am thankful for the smirk he gives me; I am thankful for the look of horror on his face when I bust out in a showtune; I am just plain thankful. I don’t know where I’d be, or who I’d be, if I hadn’t met him all those years ago.

I am thankful to my Mom, especially today. Thanksgiving was always her holiday; cooking for her family was my mother’s greatest joy and a great gift to all of us. I am thankful that I can keep that tradition alive, and can see my Mom in that.

I am thankful for music and pets and soft blankets and breathing and speaking, and having a voice to use and use often. I realize we are at a tough time in this country, where fear is being used to urge hate towards refugees fleeing their homeland for their lives … fear of our transgender brothers and sisters … fear of immigrants … in a land filled with immigrants.

But I am hopeful, and thankful, that this is not the case with everyone, and that not everyone falls into fear; some stand against it, and speak against it, and fight against it.

I am thankful for that … and thinking being feeling loving breathing laughing crying living and speaking.

For Life … and all it encompasses.

To Life.


Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Architecture Wednesday: Mazama House

Located in the Methow Valley of Washington State, the Mazama house is a secluded mountain valley on the eastern edge of the North Cascades, about 200 miles northeast of Seattle. The architect placed the house in a grove of trees at the end of a large meadow with two major building volumes that indicate the organization of the home.

A grounded 2-story bedroom wing anchors a raised living pavilion that is lifted off the ground by a series of exposed steel columns making it seem as though the meadow in front of the house continues right under the main living space. The raised floor level also provides enhanced views and keeps the main living level well above the 3-4 feet of winter snow accumulation.

To further emphasize the idea of lightness, the exposed wood structure of the living pavilion roof changes pitch along its length, so the roof warps upward at each end. On the inside, the exposed wood beams appear like an unfolding fan as the roof pitch changes.

The house updates the idea of modern craftsmanship with cast bronze inserts at the front door, laser-cut steel railing panels, a curved cast-glass kitchen counter, waterjet-cut light fixtures, and custom furniture pieces; the living room alone  contains more than twelve pieces of custom furniture.

And in addition to being gorgeous and light and open, the house is also a sustainable structure, with 40% higher insulation values than required by code, radiant concrete slab heating, natural ventilation, large amounts of natural lighting, water-conserving plumbing fixtures, deep roof overhangs, built-in shades and high operating clerestory windows used to reduce heat gain in summer. In winter months the lower sun angle penetrates into the living spaces and passively warms the exposed concrete floors.

The home is a tribute to a high level of craftsmanship with thoughtful ideas about sustainability. And so peaceful, too.

Minute Rant: F**k Donald [t]Rump ... Again

In the Haters Gonna Hate Because They’re Morons file …

Donald [t]Rump is sticking to his claims that he witnessed thousands of Arabs cheering in the streets of Jersey City, New Jersey back on 9/11 when the World Trade Center’s came down:
“‘It did happen, I saw it. It was on television. I saw it.”
And when [t]Rump was reminded that it wasn’t on TV, and that police and FBI say it didn’t happen, and the mayor of Jersey City says it didn’t happen, he still says it did:
“I know it might be not politically correct for you to talk about it, but there were people cheering as that building came down — as those buildings came down. And that tells you something.”
Oh, and he says that he watched as people leapt to their deaths from the towers that day … from his home … four miles away. My guess, though, and it seems more likely, is that [t]Rump was cowering in a closet somewhere crapping his pants like the little bitch he is … or something.

Stupid is as stupid does. And, sadly, stupid has supporters in this country.

Bette Says What We All Want To About Caitlyn's Politics

Lotsa folks got all pissy last week when news broke that Caitlyn Jenner, who, as Bruce Jenner, was a longstanding member of the GOP — not exactly the most LGBT–friendly group on the planet — announced that she had requested a ticket to the last Democratic Debate but couldn’t get into the hall so she watched it on television.

Afterwards she said she still planned on voting Republican because “they didn’t convince me.” And, at first I thought, well, that’s just dumb, but that’s her right. Maybe social issues, and civil rights issues, aren’t her greatest concern; so, like anyone else, she can choose to be a republican. I think it’s idiotic, but that’s just me.

But then … a tweet from Bette Midler seemed to say something:

And, she’s right. Caitlyn is uninformed about a lot of issues, many affecting her community and her gender.

Yet, as the If Only You News article pointed out, as a Republican, Caitlyn will likely vote against women, and women’s issues, even while accepting the Glamour Magazine ‘Woman of the Year’ award.

She will vote against the interests of PFLAG even as her mother wins their “Advocate Award”:

She will vote against the Human Rights Campaign’s interests while Tweeting how “imspired” she is by those who need the organization.

And she Tweets her support for Spirit Day, and taking a stand against bullying, and yet she’ll vote for the party that is most likely to continue bullying and denigrating the LGB community.

I’m all for celebrating Caitlyn’s journey of self-discovery, but when it comes to her politics, she hasn’t even taken the first real step.
blatantly stolen from If Only You News

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Minute Rave: Muslim Marine Mocks [t]Rump

Donald [t]Rump is a racist, it’s clear. At the beginning of his campaign he railed against Mexicans, and this week he seemed to revel in the idea of his supporters beating up a #BlackLivesMatter protester, adding that he believes the man should have been “roughed up.”

But it was his assertion this week, in light of the ongoing debate about Syrian refugees, that we close down all mosques in America and force Muslims to register in a national database and wear carry special identification cards that has riled up the more rational among us.

But one man, a Muslim, and a Marine, Sergeant Tayyib Rashid, Tweeted to [t]Rump that he already carries his own identification card — a Marine Corp identification card:

Of course, we all know [t]Rump doesn't have that kind of identification card because he took several deferments rather than serve in the military for his country.

Naturally, the racist conservative Republicans and so-called Christians in this country immediately jumped on Rashid, but he calmly, and quietly, took them all to task.

Lesson to be learned — though I doubt [t]Rump and his racist asshatted minions will ever learn anything — don’t come for Sergeant Tayyib Rashid unless he sends for you.
If You Only News

Minute Rant: North Carolina School Suspends All Clubs Because ... LGBT Club

Up in Lake Lure, North Carolina, a group of parents began complaining about a newly formed LGBT Club at Lake Lure Classical Academy, a K-12 public charter school, and, rather than tell the parents that all groups are welcome at the school, the board of directors suspended the activities of every single club on campus.

It all began when visual arts teacher Layne Long allowed a female student to hold the LGBT Club’s meetings in her classroom and gave the student a poster from the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network [GLSEN] to display. And that sparked one grandmother to complain that, since the poster went up, she was forced to explain the meaning of “gay” and “lesbian” to her elementary school grandchild.

In her one comment on the issue, School Director Jessica Boland expressed disappointment in the situation and said the community is the main reason for the controversy:
“From the school side, when you are in the school community, the issues aren’t as prevalent as the outside community is making it. I find it disappointing that we have to suspend all clubs.”
But, that’s just what they did because some parents don’t want to have to explain gay or lesbian to their kids, and now all clubs at the school are shut down. In addition, the school, if and when it decides to reopen any or all clubs, must follow a new protocol on posters: all club posters must have a stamp of approval from the school director and can only be placed on designated club bulletin boards on the middle and high school halls.

You know, so as not to alarm the children, or their parents who are so backwoods and red-necked that the mere idea of having to say gay or lesbian in a conversation gets their camouflage panties in a twist.

Punish all the kids because some parents are bigots.

Ain’t’ that America? Or at least North Carolina?

I'll Go With You

Janna Barkin is mother to a trans child, and she, like many people, is up in arms about the fear being spread about trans people and which bathroom they should use.

Her solution: 
I’ll Go With You …
How do you know which bathroom to use?
For cisgender people this is a simple question to answer: You use the men's room if you're a man, and you use the women's room if you're a woman. ("Cisgender" refers to people who identify with their birth sex.) But for transgender and other gender non-conforming individuals, just going into a public bathroom can be a challenging and even dangerous experience.
There are many people who want to legislate which bathrooms people get to use. These bathroom police want laws that say a person's gender as recorded on their original birth certificate is the only basis for determining whether a person uses the men's room or the women's room. Such laws are discriminatory against transgender and gender non-conforming people. They also are a violation of privacy -- who's going to be checking?!
I am a mom to a transgender child. He is almost 18. His birth sex was female. (To be clear, I will use male pronouns for Amaya throughout this blog. Our family and community used female pronouns for Amaya until he asked us to switch at age 14.) His transition from female to male was gradual, starting when he was 3. He says his transition is "complete for now."
When he was very young, bathroom trips with our little tomboy were easy. Either my husband or I could go into any bathroom with him. But as he got older, he began to look out of place in the women's room.
In our culture it is acceptable for a parent to take a child of opposite gender into the restroom when they are very young. Tolerances shift around age 5 or 6, and certainly by age 9 children are expected to use the facilities that match their birth gender. Things can get tricky for children whose outward appearance or inner gender identity differs from the gender they were assigned at birth, and for their parents as well.
Very early on, our "girl" looked out of place in the women's room. When I took Amaya to a restroom, it was clear many people were concerned. Some stared and whispered. I often noticed surprise and even shock on people's faces. I know they were thinking: there's a boy in the girls' room. I would even call out to my child, "Hey girl, you can wash your hands over here," to subtly assure these people that everything was okay. I felt uncomfortable, to say the least. My child was well aware of the commotion and would hold my hand very tightly.
My husband and I discussed our problem. Our kid looked like he belonged in the men's room, but it is not okay in our society to take one's daughter into a men's room after a certain age. We were confused and so was our child.
Using the restroom at school caused anxiety that only increased as the years went by. Amaya would frequently have stomachaches. We realized he was not using the bathroom at school. When we spoke to the school about it, he was offered use of the office bathroom as an option. He didn't like doing that, as it made him "different." When he got older, he figured out that going during class made it less likely that there would be others in the bathroom.
I remember the day Amaya took matters into his own hands. He was about 14, just beginning his transition, and we were on a family trip to New York. We were at a Broadway show and the bathroom lines at intermission were incredibly long. While standing in the line for the women's room, I looked over at the men's line and saw my husband -- and to my surprise, Amaya was in line just a few people ahead of him. Gabriel and I looked at each other in acknowledgment of what we were witnessing. This was our child affirming his gender as male. Amaya was looking forward and didn't notice us noticing him.
No one else seemed to notice either.
He had made a conscious decision to stand in that line. It was clear he felt more comfortable in the men's line. It was also clear that everybody else was also comfortable with him being in the men's line. Had my child been waiting in the women's line with me he would have only received confused looks and stares. Not one person in the men's line that day batted an eye.
Most individuals know instinctively which bathroom they feel is right for them, and they will choose the one that most closely corresponds to their gender identity. Denying a trans person the right to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity is an act of discrimination, one that can have devastating consequences. Social movements such Social movements as #wejustneedtopee and #Illgowithyou have brought internet attention to the absurdity of laws that would force trans men into the women's room and vice versa. Everyone goes. Everyone should feel safe when they do.
It is a huge misconception that cisgender people are in danger from transgender, intersex, gender fluid, non-binary or other gender non-conforming people in public bathrooms. There is not one substantiated incidence of a trans person committing any type of crime against anyone in a public bathroom. In contrast, there are many documented incidents of violence against transgender people, especially trans women.
According to the National Center for Transgender Equality, only 17 states have laws that specifically prohibit discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation in public accommodations. Some cities and towns have similar municipal laws. It's a start but it is not enough.
The Equality Act of 2015 is currently in Congress and supported by President Obama. This sweeping act would amend the 1964 Civil Rights Act to ban discrimination nationwide based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Please read about The Equality Act and consider contacting your local Congresspeople to encourage them to vote for it.
Until there is full protection under the law, if you are transgender or gender non-conforming and you feel unsafe using a public restroom I'll go with you.

Monday, November 23, 2015

He Just Wants Is To Using His Real Name

Last year, Facebook stirred up a hornet’s nest by stirring up a bunch of drag queens with a rule that said there can be no Facebook accounts under fake names.

You know, because, for example, Bianca Del Rio isn’t her real name; it’s Roy Haylock. Well, that would be all well and good but I only know, and am Facebook friends with, Bianca, not Roy.

Luckily, the backlash subsided relatively quickly, and drag queens could keep their accounts, and people with too much time on their hands could keep the accounts for their cats and their dogs and their birds.

Still, one young man has continued having his Facebook account deleted because he refuses to use his real name … or does he.

Phuc Dat Bich is not a badly spelled rap song lyric, but the actual name of a 23-year-old Vietnamese-Australian who has had his Facebook profile shut down multiple times over accusations he was using a fake name.

And so he set out to prove he was Phuc by sharing an image of his passport online.
"I find it highly irritating the fact that nobody seems to believe me when I say that my full legal name is how you see it. I've been accused of using a false and misleading name of which I find very offensive. Is it because I'm Asian? Is it? Having my fb shut down multiple times and forced to change my name to my 'real' name, so just to put it out there. My name. Yours sincerely, Phuc Dat Bich,"
He originally posted this last January, but it’s been only the last week or so that the photo surged on Facebook, with more than 128,000 likes and 68,000 shares as of Friday.

And, in case you ever come across Phuc and want to pronounce his name correctly, here’s how to pronounce it:
Fook Dat Bick. Not F**k That Bitch.
Bich did not respond to a request for comment from The Huffington Post, probably because he’s over this whole mess, or didn’t want to stir up that hornet’s nest again but, think about this:

If Phuc were to change his name on Facebook to say, Phil Dan Bish, to avoid getting banned, he would be guilty of violating Facebook's real-name policy.

And he’d be banned. Phuc dat.
Huffington Post

Minute Rant: The Tip Is 'For US Citizens Only'

A woman, a mother of two, here in this country legally, and working as a server at the Bamboo Thai Bistro in Redondo Beach, California, to support her two children and get a Green Card, received a lovely tip from a man after serving him.

In the tip line on his charge slip he wrote:
‘Tip for U.S. Citizens Only’
The server was sure she’d done something wrong not to be given a tip, you know, other than being from Thailand, but we’ll never know because the man bigot who left the charge slip signed that way won’t talk to news people even after the story went viral.

The man left the restaurant, possibly all smug that he was able to be hateful to a stranger, and possibly thought that was that. But it appears that someone else, allegedly another patron, photographed the charge slip and posted it to Twitter.

But this is where we are headed, it seems, when we close our doors to Syrian refugees fleeing for their lives, and listen to the hate-filled rhetoric of a presidential candidate like Donald [t]Rump’s frequent rants against immigrants,

This is America in the hands of people like this man bigot and Donald [t]Rump, and the GOP, where if you look different or sound different or worship different, you are less than.

It’s beginning … and it’s only going to get worse until We The People stand up against the fear and hatred and xenophobia.

After all, when it comes right down to it, we are all immigrants here.

Highway Adopted for Trans Teen Leelah Alcorn

In Warren County, Ohio, a stretch of Interstate 71 has been adopted for Leelah Alcorn, the transgender teen who took her own life on the Ohio highway last December.

Leelah died from blunt force trauma after stepping in front of a Freightliner semi-truck. Police investigators found her backpack, with her laptop inside, at the scene, and found searches for suicide prevention and runaway assistance in the computer’s search history.

There was no suicide note … that day. But a note did appear on Leelah’s Tumblr page after her death. In the note she talks of feeling like “a girl trapped in a boy’s body” since she was 4, but didn’t know it was possible for “a boy to become a girl” until 10 years later.
“When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.”
Leelah Alcorn’s parents took her to see Christian therapists because she must be ill, right? And they refused her requests to aid her in transitioning because of that “illness.” She then told them she was gay, and they reacted by removing her from school, taking away her phone and computer, and isolating her in her room for months because she was “sick.”

And then she killed herself because she saw few choices possible in her future:
“Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.”
A group of her friends adopted the highway in her memory through an online campaign begun in August.
“We are keeping her memory alive by adopting and maintaining the stretch of highway where she lost her life, in hopes of bringing to light the issues faced by transgender people and so that these tragedies can be brought to an end.”
I had mixed feelings when I heard about this; I thought that renaming a stretch of roadway where she had taken her life seemed a little callous. No one renames a gun or a rope or a knife or a bottle of pills after the person who committed suicide.

But then I got to thinking … as people drive that road and see those signs with Leelah’s name on them, they might read it and forget it; or, they might read it and remember, and go home and find out about Leelah, who she was and why she died.

And maybe one of those people is another young person feeling different and not knowing why; another young person who might now understand who they are and why they are, and rather than feel alone, rather than feel like they have no choice, decide they can be themselves and they will be themselves.

Maybe Leelah’s name on a road sign will save just one life, and that’s more than enough to make it worthwhile.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

It's Snarkurday AND My Blogiversary!

So, on Friday, November 21, 2008, this appeared on the interwebz:
I'm new to this blog thing, but I do love to talk and I do have an opinion--hell I have thousands of opinions--so I guess that's as good a place to start. Let's talk about.........Me!
I am a happily-partnered gay male, and I have been with the love of my life for the last eight years. We met online in an AOL chatroom--no, not THAT kind of chatroom--and became IM friends, and then email friends, and then phone friends and then friends across the country and then I went from California to Miami to meet him, and that was that.
A few months later I'd left California and settled in Miami--talk about culture shock! We stayed in Miami for about six years until Carlos--the aforementioned partner--accepted a job in Smallville, South Carolina, and we loaded up the truck and moved to....well, not Beverly Hills, but Smallville. A small town. A cute town.
A town full of nice people who didn't seem at all peeved that the newest arrivals were a couple of mo's from Miami.
That's a start, I think. More to come.....I hope.
And that’s how it all started and here we are today some seven years and 6885 posts later.

Who knew? But enough about me … 
Okay, so Leah Remini’s book about her life in the cult that is Scientology has dropped, and is proving to be quite successful, even without the Tom Cruise juiciness … like how a chipped mug sends him into Joan Crawford Wire Hanger Rage, or how nuts he is about his cookie dough, or how he looks down on Kirstie Alley and John Travolta — difficult, given that most of the planet looks down on Tom … literally; that bitch is short, y’all. 

And Tommy’s probably really upset that his ex-beard Katie Holmes released a statement apologizing  to Leah for pissing her off, but he’s been pretty quiet … except … a source — and it’s probably the minion who didn’t see the chip in the tea cup — says Tommy Grrrl has “freaked out” over Leah trashing him like that, but he probably won’t be commenting and he definitely won’t be doing his Did He Call Me Gay fallback plan of filing a $100 million lawsuit against Remini, he’s just going to label her, as Co$ members do, a “suppressive person” and erase the fact that she’s ever existed from his memory banks.

“He thinks it’s a major betrayal. Leah is what the church calls a ‘suppressive person,’ so she’s evil in his mind. He wipes the memory of any SP out of his life. He’s letting the Scientology people discredit her.”

The only thing Tommy has erased from his mind is that fact he’s a crazy person in the eyes of the world.

Couch-jumping moron.

In ‘Does Anyone Really Care About This’ news Carly Simon has opted to tell us all who the Douchebag is in her song “You’re So Vain.” 

Most people believe that the song is about her ex-husband James Taylor  … or Mick Jagger, who sang background on the song … or her ex-boyfriend Warren Beatty … or David Bowie … or Cat Stevens … or David Geffen, but Carly has refused to give up one name, saying the song is about more than one guy.

But now, because she has a book coming out and needs the press Carly is giving up the name … saying the second verse of her song refers to Warren Beatty. She does say, though, that the other verses refer to two other men whom she won’t name unless this book sells enough and she’s asked to write, and promote, a sequel.

Kylie Jenner, the youngest and least talented — which isn’t saying much — member of the Kardastrophe Klan is planning on going into music now, according to a source, more than likely her pimp of a mother, That Woman, who says:
“Kylie has been in the studio the last couple of months with [her rapper boyfriend] Tyga recording her first song. She plans to debut the single on her app.”
The inside goes on to say that the 18-year-old failed-fashion-designer-turned-failed-fashion-model-turned-failed-Kim-Kardastrophe2.0 “has always been into rap music.”

You know, when she isn’t designing clothes or walking the runway of trying to be her older sister.

Is Amy Schumer a temperamental diva? Maybe so.

Rumor has it that  Schumer pulled the “don’t you know who I am” card at an Equinox gym in New York City when the staff refused to let her in after she couldn’t produce her gym card.
And Amy ALLEGEDLY went off … throwing a “massive fit” and shrieking:
“I know you know who I am, I’m famous!”
Schumer isn’t commenting, especially on Twitter so maybe it’s true ... or maybe it went like this … perhaps Amy thought she was a big enough star that she didn’t need to show ID and tried to waltz past security and not be questioned.” 
And when someone asked to see her pass, she answered:
“I’m famous.”
And now a  spokesperson for Equinox is denying reports that Schumer had a meltdown and says the kerfuffle was “simply a back-and-forth with staffers who didn’t immediately know who she was.”

Well, that sounds like both stories are true, and that Amy Schumer, whom half the country hadn’t heard of last year, now thinks everyone needs to know her name.

Sadly, a lot of people are now thinking it’s ‘Bitch.’

In the midst of nursing back to health her almost ex-husband Lamar Odom, who is still recovering from the seizure he had a Nevada whorehouse after a four day coke-and-prostitute binge, Khloe Kardashian took a minute to appear on The Ellen Show to promote the new book she “wrote.”

I’ll say wrote in quotes because, while I once thought Khloe was the smart Kardastrophe, well, I was wrong, and the evidence was quite clear when, while speaking with Ellen about Lamar, she joked that she’s “part of polygamy now” because she has a husband and a boyfriend — James Harden.

Um, Khloe, you’d have to be married to both men to be “part of polygamy.” As it stands, you’re just kind of a whore.

But then you’re part of Kardastrophe so that makes sense.

When last we heard from Giada De Laurentiis, she was saying she’d never date serial adulterer Bobby Flay because she’s, and I quote, “too smart for that.”

But is she? I mean, she has shed her ex-husband Todd Thompson, and she has moved on to TV producer Shane Farley ... who is still legally married to personal trainer Jennifer Giamo.

While Shane filed for divorce in March 2015, rumor has it that he and Giada began bumping privates back in 2013 when he was set to produce a show starring Giada and Flay. Giada’s rep is naturally now claiming that they didn’t start dating until this past August, though please to explain why Shane moved into Giada’s house right after he filed for divorce in March?

And Jennifer ain’t happy about the shenanigans, even having her lawyer release this statement:
“My client is devastated by what she has learned through the tabloids ... 'Hurtful’ would be a mild characterization. They’re just in the middle of it.”
So, wait, Giada is “too smart” to get involved with serial dater-slash-adulterer Bobby Flay, but moving her new man into her house while he was still married is okay?

Giada’s doin’ a lot more than cookin’ in her kitchen.

Now, since it's my blogiversary, let's end with my favorite Snark Star ...

Lindsey Lohan is at it again, trying to do anything and everything to get herself some attention since she doesn’t actually have a job.

She Instagrammed earlier this year that she might run for president, and I reminded her that whores have pimps not presidents. Then she began flashing a fake engagement ring around town, and we all know it’s fake because johns leave cash on the nightstand not cubic zirconium on your finer.

But this is low even for Lowhan, er, Lohan.

She Instagrammed a picture of herself in what she referred to as “Sharon Tate drag.” Tate, as some of you may remember, was in The Valley of the Dolls and was also brutally murdered, while eight months pregnant, by disciples of Charles Manson.

So, how is this low for Lohan? She posted the picture on Charles Manson’s birthday. Yup, she posted a picture of a murder victim on the birthday of the man who is in jail for murdering her.