I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Oh, hell to the No-prah. Lindsay Lohan took a giant payday and then failed to deliver as promised though she kept the money?

Indeed, it's true; Lindsay Lohan has turned out to be a losing bet for Oprah’s OWN network because, not only did her reality show docu-series fail to score big ratings — in fact it was often trumped by SpongeBob Squarepants — now an OWN insider — either Gayle King or Oprah's personal cupcake feeder—says:

"Lindsay agreed to be authentic and give the cameras full access to her life, but she didn’t. Instead, she didn’t film when she agreed to, did almost no publicity for the show and was drinking since almost day one of filming.”

And so now it looks like the once in-the-works Season Two of Lindsay will never, ever happen. See, the Big O was planning on renewing Lindsay’s reality show  docu-series if it turned out to be a success, but even the premiere was a bust, seen by just 700,000 viewers, which may seem like a lot, until you realize that reruns of The Big Bang Theory — re-effing-runs — average about 4 million viewers.  Lindsay was more like infomercial numbers, though most people ain’t buying what she’s selling.

And so it sounds like soon-to-be-out-of-work Lindsay can keep doing the sit-com-guest-shot career, though she might wanna hurry because her last appearance, on CBS’ 2 Broke Girls, was their lowest-rated episode of the season. In fact, as I saw promos several times before that 2BG episode aired, and not once was the name Lindsay Lohan uttered as a guest star; you only got a brief glimpse of her.

Huh. Sounds like just another day in her, ahem, career.

The Tale of Two Rings.

After consciously uncoupling last month from Gwyneth 'Is This My Head Or Is It A Macy's Parade Balloon' Paltrow, Chris Martin went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame without his wedding ring on and apparently had a grand time. 

Meanwhile, Poor Gwynnie is traipsing all over LA flashing her wedding band, like she's trying to make it seem like Chris is the one who wanted to uncouple, and boasting to pals that she STILL has Martin wrapped around her finger, and if she wanted him back, she'd have him back.

But Chris is telling friends that Gwyneth is so self-involved that she believed she was more evolved than him, and so she could better emotionally handle screwing other men while maintaining the picture of a happy marriage to her public.

My take: they've both been banging whomever they've wanted to for years only now, from what I hear, though rumor has it that Chris Martin might have actually fallen in love with one of his trysts and that sparked the uncoupling.

Uncoupling. It still makes me giggle.

Shortly after Johnny Weir returned from the Sochi games, everything fell apart in his marriage in spectacular fashion. Chronologically, just before Weir left for the Olympics, his husband Victor Voronov accused him of assault, only to drop the charges, and that was when Johnny announced they were splitting up.

Then it got crazy. Johnny and Victor both lobbed accusations at one another; Johnny claimed Victor assaulted him, and added that Victor was trying to blackmail him with some old nude photos of Johnny that Victor had taken; and there was talk of emotional abuse, and who got the purses and, well, it was a mess.

I say was, because now, unlike Gwynnie and Chris, Johnny and Victor are consciously recoupling.

Over the weekend Victor and Johnny agreed to reconcile and Johnny plans to move back into the family home this week, though there are some strings; Victor wants Johnny to sign a document agreeing to publicly apologize for all the nasty things he said about Victor, and Johnny must also agree in writing that he will no longer let his mother meddle in the marriage and will her nose out of their finances.

It's a post-pre-nup, I guess.

Dina's guilty, y'all. Yup, earlier this week Dina Lohan set down her box of wine long enough to appear in court and admit to being a drunk who drives.

Shocking though, that unlike her daughter she didn't find a way to blame it on literally everyone else, including, but not limited to, Franzia, the city of New York, the Long Island Expressway, any and all cars ever made, or me.

Since it was Dina's first DUI, the judge gave her 100 hours of community service and she’ll have to take a DUI class, though, if she's anything like Lindsay she won't do either and then go to court with the words 'F**k you' painted on her talons.

Her license was also revoked, and an interlock will be put in her car and she’ll have to pay a bunch of fines, so hopefully Lindsay can scam another TV show into giving her a guest shot because all that Oprah money is gone and Mama needs to stay out of the Big House.

Miley Cyrus had to cancel a concert in Kansas City this week because she was rushed to the hospital with an :::cough cough::: “allergic reaction”  to some antibiotics she was on, and not any kind of drug or alcohol related issue no matter what anyone says.

Now, who would like to buy a bridge?

The hospitalization comes on the heels of Miley's beloved dog, Floyd, dying, and then her Mama sending a new dog in to take the place of the old one without bothering to get an identical dog so Miley would never be the wiser. Sheesh, has this woman never seen The Brady Bunch? You always replace a dead pet with an identical looking one so no one knows Floyd died.

But, Miley knew it wasn't the same dog so she instantly gave it away and then ALLEGEDLY partied away her pain which lead to "antibiotic allergies."

Still, while Miley may have been rushed to the hospital because of a reaction to antibiotics, it seems the reason she was on the meds in the first place was because she wore herself down by partying extra hard since her dog was taken to a farm where he could run around in an open meadow. 

Yeah; that's easier to buy than an allergic reaction to penicillin.

I don’t watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta because those women are so trashy, but every so often I peek in on the reunion show to watch all the drama balled up into a neat little package.

Well, this seasons’ reunion might be better than a Jersey Table Flip because it seems that one of the “housewives,” Porsha Stewart [right] found herself arrested for assault after attacking Twirling Kenya Moore [left] during a reunion taping.

And Andy Cohen who never met drama he didn’t want to sign to a contract, says:

“To me, it came out of nowhere. The other women felt that Kenya kind of provoked her a little bit and was provoking her. I think I was just so shocked and so surprised, and I was just really upset. I don’t want that happen. I think it’s gross, and I think it’s just totally inappropriate, it’s wrong, it’s not entertaining. It’s just bad.”

Yet he’s airing it and talking about it. But he did give Porsha her pink slip for the attack, so maybe he’s sorry about it, or maybe he’s angry she didn’t attack all the women.

When Kim Kardashian and Beyoncé Knowles were both spotted leaving the same L.A. dermatologist on the same day last week, fans wondered if they’d finally bonded during a girls’ day out. But it appears that the dual skin appointments were just an accident, because ain’t no way Beyoncé is gonna hang with the Kash Kow no matter how much Kanye begs.

She ain’t gonna fold like Anna Wintour, y’all.

Apparently,when Kash Kow arrived at the doctor’s office, she “seemed so excited to see Beyoncé and ran over to her like an eager puppy, but Beyoncé looked like she wanted nothing to do with Kim and was really trying to stay away from her.

To be fair, the two women did have a brief chat — though I guess it was mostly Beyoncé saying, ‘Sorry. Who are you again? — about their respective oddly named children, Green Hydrangea and WestCoast thought the attempt to bond over mommyhood was not exactly well-received.

Beyoncé looked like she couldn’t have cared less,” a source — possibly That Woman, in for her weekly lamb placenta facial — says. “It seemed so clear that she did not want to talk with Kim and was just being polite to her. They really didn’t look at all like friends.”

And why would they be? Beyoncé, Jay Z, and, yes, even Kanye, are entertainers and performers who’ve based their careers on talent and drive.

Kim based her career on being able to lie on her back with her heels to God.

A not so Glee-filled set? Rumors are flying that Lea Michele — who considers herself the star of Glee — and Naya Rivera are battling divas both on-camera and off.

The Naya Fans say that Lea held up production while she dealt with a 'personal issue,' and Naya went to the producers to complain about the hold up. Well, Lea heard about this and dramatically exited stage left and never came back to the set.

The Lea Fans naturally have a different story. They say that Lea and Naya weren’t even shooting scenes together when she asked for a break, and never knew Naya complained about her. But, the Lea Fans say that it was Naya who was kicked off the set and was subsequently fired, though Team Naya says ain’t never happened.

Still, there was an interesting Blind Item circulating around the net this week which might help explain all the drama:

There was a TV actress who broke up with her musician boyfriend after she read text messages on his phone between him and one of her co-stars whom he ALLEGEDLY screwed on the side. While both sides are spinning their own ‘truth’ publicly, we do know that there are two facts that both sides privately acknowledge as being true:

#1: She broke up with him; and

B: She ended it because he cheated.

It seems kinda clear that this blind item is about Naya and Big Sean who recently broke off their engagement, and most people suspect that Sean was banging on Lea’s door which may, or may not, have lead to one diva, or the other, walking off the set.

Stay tuned. And maybe stay tuned to Glee because their ratings are way down and they either need better stories or some hot gossip to keep folks interested.

Good News Friday: Donate A Gun, Get A Peace Lily In Return

John Evans is a retired Methodist minister, and like most of us, he watched the events of the Sandy Hook school shootings in horror. However, unlike most of us, he got an idea, and soon the local Faith Coalition on Gun Violence was born.

In.South.Carolina.

And so this Saturday, at the Washington Street United Methodist Church, John Evans will accept your unloaded guns, no questions asked, and in return he’ll give you a Peace Lily. And, to further make his point, Evans wants the donated guns to be melted down and transformed into a piece of public art.

Evans, right, who still works as a pastoral counselor, hopes that his Peace Lilies for Guns will help combat gun violence peacefully through education, training and local community activism:

“As a coalition, we want to maintain conversations so people who are gun enthusiasts can come offer a point of view.”

Evans hopes that an open conversation between gun owners and gun control advocates will lead to serious discussions of violence prevention. Again, like many of us, he is bothered by an ineffectual Congress, both in Washington and South Carolina, that seems unable, or unwilling to take on the idea of gun control, but remembering all those who lost their lives to senseless gun violence, especially the children of Sandy Hook, keeps him going forward:

“Seeing the pictures of 6-year-olds touched something deeply in me. To think their lives ended, and they didn’t have a chance to even graduate high school.”

Evans has encountered some difficulty in getting his project going; a lot of local churches refused to get involved because they want to stay out of a political issues; I guess the loss of innocent life, though, is not an issue for them.

The Peace Lilies for Guns giveback will be held in the parking lot of the church, where Evans and some other coalition members are parishioners. People can bring any guns they no longer want, Evans said, and the Richland County Sheriff’s Department will destroy them; the department will save some pieces because Evans wants to work with local artists to create an abstract and metaphorical sculpture that John Evans hopes will be displayed in a public area, such as the Five Points neighborhood of Columbia, and will include the names of gun-violence victims.

“I like the idea of using something violent to talk about peace.”

I like the idea, too, and certainly hope they get a decent turnout, especially here in South Carolina, and I hope that, one day, there is a sculpture in Five Points to remind us, every day, that we need gun control — not gun confiscation — in this country.

source

Would You Hit It?

It's a simple question .... actor Anthony Mackie at the recent Captain America: BlahBlahBlah premiere.

Would.You.Hit.It?

Yes or No?

I Didn't Say It ...

Jared Leto, accepting the Best Transformation at the MTV Movie Awards, on AIDS:

"We've made a lot of progress in the battle against AIDS, but it's not time to celebrate just yet. There's no cure, the epidemic rages on. But here's to the hope that one day, we'll put an end of this plague, and the world will rejoice, knowing that no one will ever have to suffer the indignation of this sickness again, nor the intolerance, the fear or the prejudice that lives alongside it. Love who you want to love, live how you wish to live and never let anyone ever stop you from turning your dreams into your reality."

Yes, even in 2014, we still need to be reminded that this epidemic is far from over, so kudos to Leto for saying it so eloquently.

Pope Francis, on pedophile priests:

"I feel called to take responsibility for all the evil some priests -- large in number, but not in proportion to the total -- have committed and to ask forgiveness for the damage they've done with the sexual abuse of children. The church is aware of this damage and is committed to strengthening child protection programs and punishing offenders"

Lovely words. Now back it up with actions.

I'd like to see a Catholic priest who raped small children arrested and tried for his crimes because he was turned in by the Church.

Words are meaningless unless followed up by actions, Frankie.

Mark Takano, the Democratic Congressman from California, staging an "intervention" U.S. House floor to help the GOP overcome their obsession with repealing the Affordable Care Act:

“To my Republican friends, I want to say, this is a safe place. We are here to help. Your addiction to repealing Obamacare and peddling conspiracy theories about the law are not doing any good – for yourselves or for the American people. Stop standing on the wrong side of history….Let’s move on!”

Seriously.

Let's.Move.On.

Like, oh, I dunno, with that Jobs Bill you've been promising for seven years?

Mike Huckabee, on Obama's change of heart regarding marriage equality:

"The position that I hold is the position that Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Joe Biden held in 2008. Barack Obama held it until 2012. And the question now that I'd love to pose to the President is this, 'Mr. President, please explain that when you said in 2008 at the Saddleback Church Forum that you stood for traditional marriage and you did so because you were a Christian and because it's what the Bible taught, please answer. Were you lying then, or are you lying now? Or did the Bible get rewritten. I'm just wanting somebody in the press to answer that honest question....He said it was because of his Christian convictions. Does he have them or does he not?"

He has them, you asshat, but he isn't letting his Christian beliefs become the law in the country.

We have a Separation of Church and State you idiot, though you don't get it because you have a separation of brain and mouth.

Eddie Calvo, Guam Governor, on marriage equality:

“I’m going to be upfront with you, I have an issue with gay marriage. I’m not trying to put my morals on anybody. I just want everyone to understand that when society makes that move, there will now be a new question.”

Thanks for being "up front" but now you can "step to the side" as the rest of the world marches on.

The only new question to be asked will be, 'Will you marry me?' heard from every gay corner of the world.

Evan Wolfson, head of Freedom to Marry, when asked by Face the Nation host Bob Schieffer if LGBT rights is the next chapter of civil rights:

“I wouldn’t call it the next chapter. I think it’s part of the same struggle. I think that what the struggle ... that the civil rights movement did so much to lay the foundation for… was to create an America that’s a more perfect union for everybody. And gay people are part of that everybody. But as we’ve just all heard and said, we’re not done with any of these fights on any of these fronts that overlap anyway. My blood boils when I see voter suppression and the assault on women’s access to contraception…. Civil rights is about the America we want for everybody.”

Simple, eh?

Rush Limbaugh, on Stephen Colbert replacing David Letterman when letterman retires next year:

"CBS has just declared war on the heartland of America. No longer is comedy going to be a covert assault on traditional American values [and] conservatives. Now, it's just wide out in the open. What this hire means is a redefinition of what is funny and a redefinition of what is comedy. What this hire means is a redefinition of what is funny and a redefinition of what is comedy, and there’s blowing up the 11:30 format under the guise that the world’s changing. It’s media planting a flag here. Maybe even media’s last stand. It’s a declaration. They've hired a partisan, so-called comedian, to run a comedy show." 

Wow, I never thought Colbert wielded that much power.

Or maybe Rush has over-medicated himself again.

Debby Boone, best known for her 70's mega-hit "You Light Up My Life", saying she's through preaching the anti-LGBT perspective she was learned growing up Christian--her father is the raging homophobe, and former singer and actor, Pat Boone:

“I'm really happy to be here in support of GLAAD, because I am one of the people that has made the transition from an old way of thinking to a new one. And I think that's really the crux of what GLAAD is all about...I have really good friends and family members that have changed my mind. And the couple that we're with tonight is a lesbian couple who attended the church where my husband was associate rector.”

As times change, people change, and we need to accept those who've affected the change.

Boone has stepped out of her father's intolerant, anti-Christian shadow and she deserves applause for that.

Jennifer LeClaire, news editor of Charisma, on the Honey Maid ad controversy:

"Many are calling for a boycott of Nabisco. I’m not a fan of boycotts, but I am a fan of healthy eating—and I’m not a thin little 7-year-old anymore. I stopped eating Oreos, Nilla Wafers and Nutter Butters long ago to avoid packing on unwanted pounds. That said, Nabisco is still trying to shove something down my throat for which I have no taste. Although I defend their right to do so, I grieve over the latest example of how immorality is the new normal. Our only godly response is to continue speaking the truth in love and to pray for those whose hand may be caught in the cookie jar of sexual immorality when Jesus returns."

I think that when Jesus returns he might have a lot to say about love and acceptance and intolerance to LeClaire because, unlike what she alludes to, Jesus never said a word about The Gays.

Random Musings

So, is the beard in again, or is it out again? And I don’t mean the “Mrs. Tom Cruise” or “Mrs. John Travolta” kind of beard, but the actual facial hair beard.

In a study of 1,453 bisexual and heterosexual women, Australian University of New South Wales researchers found that the more women were exposed to images of bearded men, the more likely they were to find clean-shaven men more attractive, and vice-versa. The women were shown 36 images of men’s faces — the first 24 were exclusively of bearded or clean-shaven men, while the final twelve were a mix of facial hair styles — and as they viewed each picture, they were asked to rate each man’s attractiveness on a scale of four to negative four.

Head researcher Professor Robert Brooks says men who grew beards to be more sexually attractive may have lost their allure now that facial hair has become more popular among other guys: “We may well be at peak beard.”

Someone tell Tom and John that the beard may be over.

Sidenote: years back I had long hair, well beyond my shoulders, and luxurious and curly; I also wore a full, yet neatly trimmed, beard. While standing in a grocery check-out line behind a woman and her son, the little boy kept staring at me and finally tugged his mother’s sleeve and said, loudly:

“Mommy? That man looks just like Jesus.”

Oh, I had a field day with that one!

Remember a few weeks back when Alec Baldwin, after being dumped by MSNBC and Visa for his homophobic taunts to paparazzi, said he would be leaving public life, including social media?

Yeah, he lied. He got into a twitter war — though Baldwin, like the homophobic coward he is, deleted his Tweets — with former Romney aide, Garrett Jackson over the Keystone pipeline documentary Above All Else:

Then came insults about politics and such, until Baldwin tweeted about his thoughts about Jackson’s avatar and wondered what he might be doing on his knees; you know, maybe he's on his knees because he's a gay man and he's about to ... you know, cuz calling someone a gay slur, or intimating they're gay is the height of insult.

Naturally, Baldwin deleted that Tweet, though Jackson kept up:

Last word: Alec Baldwin? You said you were giving up public life; please do so. And stay off Twitter and stop trying to insult people because you have the insulting technique of a 10-year-old child.

Grow the fuck up, and then shut the fuck up.

What’s this? There was a Mrs. Jesus Christ?

A faded piece of papyrus called the “Gospel of Jesus’ Wife” — which caused an uproar when unveiled by a Harvard Divinity School historian in 2012 — has been tested by scientists who have determined that the ink and papyrus are very likely ancient, and not a modern forgery.

Skepticism about the tiny scrap of papyrus has been fierce because it contained a phrase never before seen in any piece of Scripture: “Jesus said to them, ‘My wife...’ ” and also contained the words “she will be able to be my disciple,” a clause that inflamed the debate in some churches over whether women should be allowed to be priests. You know, cuz it looks like Jesus said so.

Of course, this doesn’t really prove anything because, even though the papyrus is ancient, it doesn’t mean what’s written on it is true. Still, I do love to see Churches scamper as they try to deflect the idea that Jesus took a wife, probably Mary Magdalene, because all Churches have long held that women are second class citizens.

Except, now, maybe  Jesus …

So, Nurse Jackie is back and still funny as ever, but while I loves me some Edie Falco, one cannot ignore the charms of Morris Chestnut. Yum.

And, on Bates Motel, Nestor Carbonell has been co-starring since the beginning, but somehow this week’s episode had me looking at him, um, differently, shall we say? Yum.

After weeks of debate, producers of RuPaul’s Drag Race pulled a controversial episode, and made adjustments to the show's future content by eliminating the phrase "she-male" in any context; they have also put an end to the show's long-running "You've Got She-Mail" segment.

It all began on March 17, when the show featured a mini-challenge titled "Female or She-male," in which the contestants were shown a photo of a woman's body part and then asked whether the picture was "female" — meaning a non-transgender woman — or "she-male" — meaning someone who born male but now presents themselves in a feminine manner.

The following morning, a number of transgender activists voiced their concerns on Twitter, followed by stories all over the web and in print media. Finally, the show’s producers, including RuPaul and Logo released a statement:

"We delight in celebrating every color in the LGBT rainbow. When it comes to the movement of our trans sisters and trans brothers, we are newly sensitized and more committed than ever to help spread love, acceptance and understanding."

Notice though, the lack of an actual apology, which caused the debate to rage on until ...this week, Logo issued a follow-up statement with the new rules:

"We wanted to thank the community for sharing their concerns around a recent segment and the use of the term 'she-mail' on Drag Race. Logo has pulled the episode from all of our platforms and that challenge will not appear again. Furthermore, we are removing the 'You've got she-mail' intro from new episodes of the series. We did not intend to cause any offense, but in retrospect we realize that it was insensitive. We sincerely apologize."

I’m glad they did this; though I will say, that while I was offended and uncomfortable with the “Female or She-Male” challenge, I always looked at the ‘You’ve Got She-Mail’ as a riff on Tyra Mail from America’s Next Top Model.

Still, it’s a positive and much needed step forward, so kudos to Ru and Logo for that.

And so, while we’re talking Drag Race …

This week’s Mini-Challenge had the remaining seven queens play a game of "Hung Man" with the Scruff pit crew — grown to ten beefy men in tight Scruff briefs — doing a Ru-version of Hangman, only the letters were pinned to their asses. I’m seeing a new Logo game show because it was fun, and cute and ass-o-licious.

The Main Challenge was Host Your Own Talk Show, with Cher’s son, Chaz Bono, and Cher’s mother, the fabulous Georgia Holt, as featured guests on each queens’ couch, while the runway task was to make an animal of yourself.

Let’s rip …

Courtney Act took the top spot, and I would have given it to her just for the bird wings — the ginormous bird wings — she sported on the runway. But she also got points for her interview look and style. It was Courtney’s first win, but … hot on her heels was my personal fave …

BenDeLaCreme endured a bad few weeks, but this week she really shined. I loved her interview with Chaz and Georgia because she was really interested in it, and not just play-acting as EllenKatieWendy. Plus, that runway look, The Fly, was creepy and cool and ingenious and totally outside the previous weeks looks. Highlight: DeLa guessing ‘butterface’ with just a ‘B’ on that hot ass in Hung Man!

Bianca Del Rio is another fave, and while I loves me some DeLa I can’t help feeling Bianca will take the whole thing. Her runway look was true Bianca, but her interview was one0sided, and directed only at Chaz,

Adore Delano was a mess, and not the hot kind, in her talk show and her runway look didn’t fare much better. On any other year, she might get far, but up against DeLa and Courtney and Bianca, and even Darienne, I think she’ll go in the next couple of weeks.

Darienne’s interview was a bundle of nerves, and pieces falling off. I’m over her, and I’m over her attitude, which might just be hiding a severe lack of confidence.

Joslyn Fox. Bitch should’a gone home tonight. Her questions during the interview were rude and inappropriate—really, Joslyn? Abortion? And her runway look had nothing to do with animals at all.  When Ru said she was safe, I almost through the remote at … Carlos; hey, a new TV is an expense I can’t do right now, and Carlos could heal quickly … right? But she Shantayed and stayed, which means …

Trinity K. Bonet Sashayed Away. Sure, her interview was awful, I mean, when you can’t even remember Chaz Bono’s name isn’t Chad, that’s a bad thing, but it wasn’t any more cringe-worthy than Joslyn’s. And her look on the runway was feathered and fierce. I liked that she’d found her sense of self and confidence and kinda wished she stayed longer.

What did YOU think?

In the same India that recently voted to once again make homosexuality a crime, the Supreme Court ruled that transgender people, or “third gender” as the court said, should be given the rights of citizens.

It’s a bold move, especially given the Court’s last ruling, and I hope it helps with the efforts to overturn the old-new-again anti-homosexuality laws.

In the Too Stupid To Live category we have twenty-five-year-old Bostonian Kevin Edson, who thought it would be a kick to leave a backpack containing a rice-cooker near the finish line of next week’s Boston Marathon.

Cuz nothing is funnier than bombs going off and killing and dismembering innocent people.

I hope when they lock his ridiculous ass up they throw away the key.

And let’s continue with The Stupid … ShoeGate.

Asshats and wingnuts are saying that Hillary Clinton actually planted that shoe-throwing woman in order to look more presidential because … W. Yeah, because someone once threw a shoe at W’s melon, these fools actually think that Hillary Clinton thought someone should toss a stiletto at her head because then she’d look presidential, like W.

Oh hell no. Hillary looks more presidential standing still than W looked during all eight years of his reign of lies and terrorism.

From Fox — of course — commentator Bernard Goldberg: 

“There is a political axiom, I believe first posed by Euclid or Archimedes, that when Hillary does something, or when something happens to her, she has carefully calculated it beforehand. This is almost always true, the one trivial exception being the nomination and election of Barack Obama in 2008. So it would not be stretching logic to suppose that Hillary arranged to have the shoe thrown at her. Remembering the Bush incident, she may have calculated that this would make her seem presidential. This would explain why Ms. Ernst was not pounded to a pulp by Hillary’s bodyguards, and why she seems on the verge of getting off scot free. Don’t be too surprised, the next time you visit Phoenix, if you see her sitting at a table in a downtown Hillary for President store front, stuffing and sealing envelopes.”

Seriously? This tool thinks having a shoe thrown at you makes you look presidential? No wonder he’s a Republican. Also stepping into the crazy ring, weighing in at just 900 pounds, and filled top the brim with prescription meds, is Rush Limbaugh:

"I think it was staged, or set up, or whatever. I don’t know why anybody would be throwing a shoe at Hillary unless maybe it’s an attempt to make the Benghazi people look like nuts and lunatics and wackos."

Sit down, Rush, before the meds truly kick in and you fall down.

Last week Anderson Cooper Tweeted out his support of college athlete Derrick Gordon for coming out as gay:

His Tweet apparently offended at least one moron, Damian Goddard, who Tweeted this:

But, since The Gays are quick with a quip, Cooper Tweeted back:

Snap!

Thanks to pressure from anti-gay Christian groups, the Louisiana House yesterday refused to repeal an unenforceable and unconstitutional anti-sodomy law.

The conservative Christian Louisiana Family Forum sent letters to every legislator urging them to vote against the proposal, claiming that teenagers would be less protected from sexual predators if they went through with the repeal.

Oh, it’s the Save The Children fear tactic again.

So, blowjobs in Louisianan are technically a felony, but I’m guessing that none of these straight men and women legislators and Bible Thumpers thought about women who, um, go down, as being criminals.

In other news, it’s still perfectly legal to fuck a corpse in Louisiana, but two adults performing oral sex is a crime.

Way to go, Louisiana.

In the Everything Old Is … well, still old department comes the news about a sequel to 1993’s Mrs. Doubtfire and Robin Williams is set to star again.

Twenty-one years later.

The original  centered on Williams as a struggling actor and recently divorced father of three who, in order to be closer to his children, takes on the persona of a Scottish nanny, Eupheginia Doubtfire.

No word on how they’ll transform this into a new story that takes place two decades later, unless Williams will play the Scottish nanny hired to take care of his children’s children.

Yeah, that screams hilarity.