Sunday, December 08, 2019

What A Week ....

Consuelo’s adventure, and our week of terror, began innocently enough when she slipped out the door when Other Daddy opened it a week ago Friday night. He didn’t see her go, and we didn’t notice she was gone until it was Treat Time™, 9PM nightly at Casa Bob y Carlos.

Then the terror struck; I was outside with a flashlight, while Carlos called her name. I spotted her alongside our lower deck, but then she was gone. I looked, I called; Carlos called; we shook the treat box … nothing. Then it was late, and we couldn’t stay up any longer. We set out some food and some old blankets, hoping she’d find her way back. And she did, to the food, but not so we could see her or grab her or coax her back inside.

Saturday, we looked and called and set out food; we put out a litter box; we put some of our dirty clothes out, in case she picked up the scent of our filth and came back. I searched along the fence, not high, but perhaps too high for her to jump. Nothing.

Sunday, we walked the neighborhood and looked in the road, and alongside the road, hoping not to see her there. We made flyers and gave them to neighbors; we put them on lamp posts and telephone poles; we set out food again—it seemed someone was eating the cat food—and switched the dirty clothes for a new batch of dirty clothes. Nothing.

Monday I was all over this blog and Facebook, at our local Smallville page, sharing the news and asking anyone who found her to please bring her back. Friends and family shared that post, spreading the word; Mistress Maddie shared my blog post in the hopes that one of her readers was in the Smallville area. Nothing.

Tuesday was a mess. I went to work, but about noon I asked my boss to leave. I wasn’t in the mood. I was hopeless; she was gone… or worse. All I wanted was to know she was safe, even if it was with a new family, and not to think the worst. I came home and Carlos was heading out to do an interpretation at a local school. I wandered the house for about an hour; I checked her food … she hadn’t eaten at all on Monday. I stood in the living room and then I saw her on the back deck, looking at the food dish. I ran outside and she was gone before I got to her. Carlos came home just then and we both looked and called and dropped treats. She appeared again on the deck around 10PM and once again was gone as soon as she saw me. After that …nothing.

Wednesday was the worst. We didn’t see her; she didn’t eat any of the food we set out; the treats were also uneaten. But we put fresh food and stale clothes. I set out her personal scratching post. I called her. Nothing.

Thursday I was at work and late in the afternoon Carlos called; Ozzo was running around the lower deck and Carlos took a flashlight and spotted her, cowering underneath. I left work early again, and was soon home, flat on my stomach, looking under the deck and seeing her scared little face. We set food by the deck, a carrier with blankets, too. Unfortunately, Carlos had a concert and we had to go, but when we came home, she was still under the deck, so we were hopeful.

Friday she was gone again. No food eaten; no blankets moved. We had a couple of appointments in Columbia and when we returned home, she still wasn’t around. That’s when I went, um, well, to put it nicely, insane. I had spotted something that seemed like her under the deck and it wasn’t moving, so as any sane person might do, I got a hammer and a crowbar and began to dismantle the deck, board by board, to see if I could get her. But the thing I saw wasn’t her. I was getting really hopeless now, watching Carlos walk the yard, again, calling her name, again, putting out treats, again. He was looking around the well down by the shed and something scared him and then Consuelo came racing out of the grasses and ran off; we chased, but that little bitch was scared and fast and she was gone; again.

That was when I told Carlos that we were buying a feral cat trap. We called around and our local Tractor Supply Store carried them. We raced down, bought it, brought it home, read the instructions, set it out by the deck, with a dish of food about 5:30. I checked at 6, 6:30, 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, 7:45 … like I said, insane was I. Around 8:30 Carlos asked if I checked the trap and I said I had but there was nothing.

I checked again and shone the flashlight across the yard and her little eyes lit up, and she cried, because she was in the trap!

I called Carlos and got the trap and carried it into the house, and into the guest room. We thought it best to keep her away from the other kids until she settled down; that didn’t take long. While she cried in the trap, as soon as we got her out and Carlos held her, she stuffed her face into his elbow and just purred. I know people think cats are aloof and have no personality, but this girl, our little girl, was smiling at us, happy to be inside, safe. She crawled into my lap and lay down her head and purred and stretched and smiled.

Saturday. Back to normal; she wanted breakfast at 7AM and then wandered through the house, checking in with Tuxedo and Max and Ozzo; and she slept. Oh, she occasionally awoke and came looking for either Carlos or me for a belly rub, but everything was back to normal.

As it should be.

Except this little bitch will never get near an open door again.

The Funny Papers

Ed Wexler, Bill Bramhall, Dave Whamond, Jack Ohman, Michael deAdder, Nick Anderson, Bill Day, Darrin Bell, Mike Luckovich, RJ Matson, Clay Bennett

Saturday, December 07, 2019

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

In 2005, Jamie Foxx was nominated for Best Actor for Ray, spoiler alert … he won … and also for Best Supporting Actor for Collateral, spoiler alert … he lost. And it appears that Foxx’s double nominations came as a surprise to Oliver Stone because in 1999, Stone thought Foxx couldn’t act his way out of a wet paper sack. And we know it’s true, because it’s Foxx telling the story:

“I remember Oliver Stone, when I first auditioned [for Any Given Sunday], he was like, “You’re horrible.” And I was like, “What?” He was like, “Just get the fuck out of here.” As I’m walking out, he said, “Jamie Foxx, slave to television.”

And yet Jamie seems to have appreciated Stone’s critique because he learned from it … though he doesn’t say how. But as we have learned from the past, Foxx received good reviews for Any Given Sunday and proved he could really act by spending five years acting like he wasn’t dating his Collateral co-star, Tom Cruise’s ex-wife Katie Holmes.

He should’a at least been nominated for something for that role.

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Mohamed Hadid, father of models Bella and Gigi Hadid, ex-husband of former RHoBH “star” Yolanda Hadid Foster, is ALLEGEDLY bankrupt.

Or not. Hadid did file bankruptcy papers, but they were for his construction company, 901 Strada LLC, after he was ordered by an :A judge to tear down what he calls Starship Enterprise, a ridiculous half-built 30,000square foot mansion he’s been building in Bel Air for seven years because the multi-million dollar manse is not up to code, was illegally built and, according to neighbors, a “danger to the community.”

And it’s hideous. I would have ordered it torn down on looks alone.

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Gabrielle Union was recently fired from America’s Got Talent amid rumors that she had complained about workplace racial issues she witnessed, including racist jokes and sexist remarks.

Now, NBC, home of AGT, and former home of pervert Matt Lauer, is in damage control mode, releasing a joint statement with AGT, Simon Cowell‘s Syco Entertainment and NBC’s Freemantle defending themselves which has only fanned the flames of ALLEGED stories.

There was a story about Jay Leno making a joke about Koreans eating dogs on camera, which was cut. There were stories about Gabrielle being told her hair was “too black”—whatever that means—and fellow AGT judge Julianne Hough getting notes about her looks. There was also a claim that Gabrielle was labeled “difficult” when she complained that Simon’s smoking inside bothered her since she’s allergic to cigarette smoke. The joint statement by Cowell and the show make no mention of any of this, but instead say that everyone involved in the show is “committed” to a “respectful workplace.” They also claim that they’re working with Gabrielle’s people about her complaints.

As in paying her off so she’ll stop talking? Hint: she won’t. And she shouldn’t.

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SNL comic, and standup comedian, Pete Davidson is asking his fans to sign a non-disclosure agreement before seeing his stand-up shows, and if an audience member breaks that signed NDA by Tweeting or Instagramming opinions about the show, they can be sued for $1 million.

Seriously? Pete Davidson thinks he can sue someone for posting an opinion? The idea that he thinks that is the funniest thing he’s ever done.

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Now, for those of you concerned with Tanning Your Butthole ...

Don’t. Apparently the sun doesn’t treat a naked sphincter too kindly. Just ask actor Josh Brolin who claimed he was butt fucked by the sun’s rays and now his hole is on fire. Josh wrote on Instagram last week that he spread his cheeks in the wild to sunbathe his asshole and it now felt he’d been fingered by a molten curling iron.

And I’ve officially heard everything …at least until next week?

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Friday, December 06, 2019

Our Girl Is Back Home!

The cat trap worked, and Consuelo, scared as could be, is back at home, inside the house, and happy happy happy.

As happy as her two Dads!

Thank you all for your good wishes, and thank you MM for your post. It all meant so much to us!

Back to the Runway

The PR started again last night and, yes, I watched, and, yeas, i have something to say about it.But with the Consuelo drama--we are now the proud owners of a feral cat trap which we hope does the trick--I'll need a minute to recap.

So, stay tuned for some PR snark.

I Didn't Say It ...

William Barr, _____’s Attorney general Bulldog, at the Third Annual Attorney General’s Award for Distinguished Service in Policing, warning certain “communities” that they could find themselves without protection if they don’t respect the men in blue:

“I think today, American people have to focus on something else, which is the sacrifice and the service that is given by our law enforcement officers. And they have to start showing, more than they do, the respect and support that law enforcement deserves―and if communities don’t give that support and respect, they might find themselves without the police protection they need.”

Listen you fat fuck, the police are there to protect all of us, and for you to threaten people who don’t act the way you want smacks of a dictatorship, and _____ is no dictator, he’s just a dick.

And so are you.

Fuck off, lap dog.

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Amy Klobuchar, Democratic presidential candidate, calling _____’s behavior unambiguously impeachable and a “global Watergate”:

"This is something where the Founding Fathers themselves, James Madison said, the reasons we needed impeachment provisions was that he feared that a president would betray the trust of the American people to a foreign power. That is why this is proceeding. I see it simply as a global Watergate."

That’s it in a nutshell.

Too bad the nuts that support this traitor don’t see that because they live in fear of a mean Tweet.

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Lisa Page, former FBI lawyer who has been lewdly attacked by _____ who accused her of bias against him, is now speaking out:

“Honestly, his demeaning fake orgasm was really the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had stayed quiet for years hoping it would fade away, but instead it got worse. … It had been so hard not to defend myself, to let people who hate me control the narrative. I decided to take my power back. Those texts were selected for their political impact. They lack a lot of context. Many of them aren’t even about him or me. We’re not given an opportunity to provide any context. The thing about the FBI that is so extraordinary is that it is made up of a group of men and women whose every instinct is to run toward the fight. It’s in the fiber of everybody there. It’s the lifeblood. So it’s particularly devastating to be betrayed by an organization I still care about so deeply. And it’s crushing to see the noble Justice Department, my Justice Department, the place I grew up in, feel like it’s abandoned its principles of truth and independence.”

The good news, other than Lisa Page speaking truth to power, is that on December 9^th, the Justice Department inspector general report into _____’s charges that the FBI spied on his 2016 campaign will come out, and leaked press accounts indicate that the report will exonerate Page of the allegation that she acted unprofessionally or showed bias against _____.

Wait. You mean, _____ lied …. Again. And still.

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Bernie Sanders, Democratic presidential candidate, on rival Michael Bloomberg’s $31.5 million ad buy:

“I’m disgusted by the idea that Michael Bloomberg or any other billionaire thinks they can circumvent the political process and spend tens of millions of dollars to buy our elections. It’s just the latest example of a rigged political system that we are going to change when we’re in the White House. If you can’t build grassroots support for your candidacy, you have no business running for president. The American people are sick and tired of the power of billionaires, and I suspect they won’t react well to someone trying to buy an election.”

First off, Bernie is quite rich himself, but he isn’t spending 30 million on commercials.

And, to me, Bloomberg’s actions smack of trying to buy his way into the presidency and I’m not having it.

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Pete Buttigieg, Democratic presidential candidate, in his first commercials airing in South Carolina, speaking to both the black community and the religious community:

“In our White House, you won’t have to shake your head and ask yourself, ‘Whatever happened to ‘I was hungry and you fed me. I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” When I say we’ve got to unify the American people it doesn’t mean pretending that we’re all the same. It means unifying around issues from wages and family leave to gun violence and immigration. The hope of an American experience defined not by exclusion but by belonging.”

It’s a simple message, but still powerful.

We are not all the same, but most of us want the same things.

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Elton John, melting down in a profanity-laden rant at a pair of security guards at his show in Australia on Sunday after he saw them removing a woman from his show:

“Hey, you two security guards with the girl, f**k off. Let her up here immediately… come on, you c**ts. Morons, both of you, morons. You don’t treat girls like that. F**king piece of sh*t, you both are. Leave her alone, you turds!”

Elton just love a good rant, but I find it odd how he’s speaking up for women by calling two security guards “cunts”.

Equally odd, is that the security guards were hired by Elton John’s team and acting on their instructions.

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Joe Biden, former VP and presidential hopeful, in a heated exchange with a man who questioned Biden about his son and his age:

"You're a damn liar. Look, the reason I’m running is because I’ve been around a long time and I know more than most people know and I can get things done. That’s why I’m running. And you want to check my shape, man, let’s do push-ups together here, man, let’s run, let’s do whatever you want to do, let’s take an IQ test.”

Oh Joe, did Michelle teach you nothing about what to do when they go low?

Seriously? Pushups? IQ tests?

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Nancy Pelosi, to a reporter who asked if she hates _____:

“I don’t hate anybody. I was raised in a Catholic house and we don’t hate anybody. Not anybody in the world. [But] I think that the president is a coward when it comes to helping our kids who are afraid of gun violence. I think that he is cruel when he doesn’t deal with helping our DREAMers of which we are very proud. I think he is in denial about the climate crisis. However, that’s about the election. This is about the Constitution of the United States and the facts that lead to the president and his violation of the oath of office. And as a Catholic, I resent your using the word ‘hate’ in a sentence that addresses me. I don’t hate anyone. I was raised in a way that is a heart full of love and always prayed for the president. And I still pray for the president. I pray for the president all the time, so don’t mess with me when it comes to words like that.”

Simply put: don’t come for Nancy unless she sends for you.

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Thursday, December 05, 2019

Bobservations

There is some hopefulness on Consuelo.

I’ve seen her on the deck, twice, coming for food we’ve left out. But she’s scared and so she won’t come to me or come into the house. She looks a little ragged—it rained one night—but otherwise okay.

We’ve set out old clothes, her scratching post, a cat carrier with blankets, food, w treats, but still she won’t come out when we’re around. I think she’s just scared right now. Our next step, I think, is to get a feral cat trap, and see if we can trap her. That way we can get her back inside.

Fingers permanently crossed.

It’s been more than thirty years since the AIDS Memorial Quilt was created in San Francisco, and in those years, it has traveled the world and touched millions of hearts. Now, the Quilt is going home for good.

The AIDS Memorial Quilt, spurred on by the NAMES Project Foundation, will be moved from Atlanta to the National AIDS Memorial in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park for long-term preservation and educational purposes; related archival collections will be under the care of the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress in Washington.

If you’ve never seen it, all or part, it is an amazingly beautiful sad, heartbreaking memorial to those we’ve lost to AIDS. I’ve seen parts in San Francisco and Miami and saw it on the Mall in DC twice.

It breaks your heart, but gives you hope. It deserves a permanent home.

In other good LGBTQ+ news … Cyndi Lauper will receive the inaugural High Note Global Prize from the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights and the High Note Global Initiative.

Lauper is being lauded for co-founding True Colors Unitedin 2008 after learning that while 10% of American youth identify as LGBTQ+, up to 40% of American homeless youth is LGBTQ+. True Colors United works to prevent and end youth homelessness, focusing on the unique experiences of LGBTQ youth.

True Colors United offers free training and resources on how to meet the needs of LGBTQ+ youth experiencing homelessness. They advocate in government and media to help ensure critical funding and services for all youth and create opportunities for youth who have experienced homelessness to be key leaders in the effort to end the problem.

Congratulations Cyndi. Girls just wanna have fun, but they wanna help. too.

More LGBTQ+ good news … LGBTQ advocates and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have reached a deal to ban harmful gay conversion therapy for minors in the state of Utah. The deal was announced by Governor Gary Herbert on Twitter.

The proposed rule is expected to be published Dec. 15 and could go into effect as early as Jan. 22, according to a news release.”

But then … The Notre Dame Academy has come under fire after Carly McGoldrick, a parent who identifies as bisexual, reported that when the school took 8th graders on their annual trip to Chicago to see The Nutcracker, the chaperones made the kids leave the theater when it was revealed that Clara’s parents were played by two men:

“I’ve been in contact with an audience member … who said the walk-out was disruptive and confusing. It happened about 5 minutes before the performance actually began, and I can only imagine how humiliated the students were. Waiting for NDA to … issue an apology for embarrassing [the students] in front of an entire auditorium.”

Kim Grilliot, NDA president, issued an apology, after McGoldrick’s tweet started a firestorm of anger:

“We apologize for our decision for 8th graders leave to a performance of The Nutcracker before it began due to casting choices. The mistake is contrary to our inclusive spirit and reminds us our actions should affirm that we are all God’s children.”

Well, isn’t that special, but … NDA also claims the school’s Spirit of Inclusion statement, adopted in 2014 ,affirms that NDA welcomes "all into our Gospel community including but not limited to people of all colors, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, gender expression, abilities, economic classes and nationalities.”

Except, I guess when it comes to Clara having two dads. For their part, the 8th graders painted a rock on the school’s campus in rainbow colors with the words “God Loves U” in response to the incident.

Listen to the children is the lesson here.

Ehsan Abdulaziz, a forty-six-year-old millionaire property developer, claims he never raped that 18-year-old girl; he simply tripped and fell on her while his penis was out of his pants.

Seriously. Abdulaziz had already had sex with the teenager’s 24-year-old friend, whom he already knew, in the bedroom and said his penis might have been poking out of his underwear when he fell on the girl. He says he simply wanted to see if the young woman wanted a t-shirt to sleep in, or a taxi home, but claims she pulled him on top of her and placed his hand between her legs.

Now, his semen and DNA were found inside the girl, but Abdulaziz said it was possible he had semen on his hands from having sex with the 24-year-old earlier.

A jury acquitted him in just 30 minutes of deliberations. Seriously.