Wednesday, August 26, 2009


I don't get the whole Twilight/Robert Pattinson thing. I mean, to me, it looks as if he hasn't had a bath since the late 90s.

And me with my HazMat suit at the cleaners.

There's talk of a Hancock sequel. You know, when they begin to make sequels out of movies that should never have been made in the first place, it's, well, I might be wrong, but it's an End Of Days sign.

It's also a sign, Will Smith, that your career is just about over.

I was channel surfing the other day and came across the Wendy Williams show. Now, I will admit I have no idea who she is, but she is more drag-o-licious than Tyra Banks on a good day.

So I was hooked.

Wendy is up in the audience taking questions and this giant black man stands up and says, in a deep deep voice, "First off, let me say I'm a gay man....."

And Wendy taps him on the arm and says, "Honey, I know. You're wearing a brooch."

And he was; and I died.

Matt Lauer and the Asshats at the Today Show had money-whore Mark Lester on. Y'all remember Mark Lester is the one who says he was the, um, donor de la sperm for Michael Jackson, so he could have Debbie Rowe or a surrogate or someone, give him Paris.

Well, Mark is still whoring out his story. He keeps saying he doesn't want anything ::::$$$$:::: but I smell a broke-ass liar.

Then, as if it wasn't low enough to have Lester on, the Today Show proudly paraded around his daughter and asked viewers to vote in a poll if she looked like Paris or not.

First there was the Michelle Obama Shorts Poll, and now the Sperm Donor Daddy Poll.

Sink any lower Today and we'll never see you again.

Not a bad idea, actually.

I love Flipping Out with Jeff Lewis on Bravo.

He's an anal gay man, which doesn't mean what you think it does--or at least I don't think it does--it just means he is persnickety. and nutty.

And I like nutty people and he is the nuttiest. I also like that he's laying off the collagen lip injections because for the last couple of years he was looking a little too Goldie Hawn if you get my drift.

Billy Ray Cyrus says he's a friend to his daughter, future rehabber Mylie. Just what every teenaged girl needs, a father for a friend while she pole dances on national TV.

And they won't let gays adopt in some places but Billy Ray can have as many soon-to-be crazies as he wants.

Paris Hilton.
Lindsay Lohan.
Oprah Winfrey.

And making their first appearance on the list, and our first couple on the list, in more ways than one:

Mark and Jenny Sanford.

That's all.


Michael Rivers said...

I agree about Rob Paterson. I would have cast someone else. Course, I would have cast a different Bella too. Something is off there. Oh well. haha.

And I totally agree about the sequels to movies that bombed. WHAT is that about suddenly? In the old days, if a movie bombed, it crawled off into the sunset and that was that. Now a sequel is made. I've heard talk of the "next GI Joe." No thanks. The first one was enough!

Beth said...

Wendy Williams? Could that be the same Wendy O. Williams from the Plasmatics? Wait, I think she might be dead. Even if she weren't, I don't think she'd have the ability to have a talk show. I bet it would be entertaining, though. ;)

Allen said...

So is the Wendy show on Cable? Not that it matters, I dont own a tv anyways.


frogponder said...

What doesn't Billy Ray get about the word PARENT??

There looks to be some news about Sanford today - something about the Lt. Gov having a news conference?

Wonder Man said...

I hate Twilight, and I don't get the whole Robert thing either

Berry Blog said...

These are fun tidbits...keep 'em coming. Love the logo picture for this section too

Joy said...

I won't go off on my Twilight rant again, but the books were so bad I couldn't stand to watch the movies. Wonder Man (I think) had a preview of one of the movies, and they all sounded like zombies. Robert Pattinson was fine as Cedric Doggery in Harry Potter. I'm sure they had him bathe.

The Today Show used to be respectable. How many steps above Jerry Springer is it now?

Where is Mylie's mother in all this? Well, she married Billy Ray, so how much judgment as taste could she have? Good one - future rehabber!

Joy said...

"as" should be "and" in that last comment

Mark in DE said...

In the 1st season Jeff Lewis seemed more like an arrogant asshole. In this new season, he's much more likable.

Allan S. said...

Darling, Wendy Williams is a former radio personality. Think of her as a Howard Stern but inside of a delicious black diva homo-loving being. She is legendary in the radio world. She once even had major beef with P-Diddy. She is soft and pink and always wants to know, "how you doing?"

One of my favorite radio moments of Wendy was when she talked to her female listeners how to properly wash a vagina.