Stuff

I don't get the whole Twilight/Robert Pattinson thing. I mean, to me, it looks as if he hasn't had a bath since the late 90s.

And me with my HazMat suit at the cleaners.

______________________________

There's talk of a Hancock sequel. You know, when they begin to make sequels out of movies that should never have been made in the first place, it's, well, I might be wrong, but it's an End Of Days sign.

It's also a sign, Will Smith, that your career is just about over.

______________________________

I was channel surfing the other day and came across the Wendy Williams show. Now, I will admit I have no idea who she is, but she is more drag-o-licious than Tyra Banks on a good day.

So I was hooked.

Wendy is up in the audience taking questions and this giant black man stands up and says, in a deep deep voice, "First off, let me say I'm a gay man....."

And Wendy taps him on the arm and says, "Honey, I know. You're wearing a brooch."

And he was; and I died.

______________________________

Matt Lauer and the Asshats at the Today Show had money-whore Mark Lester on. Y'all remember Mark Lester is the one who says he was the, um, donor de la sperm for Michael Jackson, so he could have Debbie Rowe or a surrogate or someone, give him Paris.

Well, Mark is still whoring out his story. He keeps saying he doesn't want anything ::::$$$$:::: but I smell a broke-ass liar.

Then, as if it wasn't low enough to have Lester on, the Today Show proudly paraded around his daughter and asked viewers to vote in a poll if she looked like Paris or not.

First there was the Michelle Obama Shorts Poll, and now the Sperm Donor Daddy Poll.

Sink any lower Today and we'll never see you again.

Not a bad idea, actually.

_____________________________

I love Flipping Out with Jeff Lewis on Bravo.

He's an anal gay man, which doesn't mean what you think it does--or at least I don't think it does--it just means he is persnickety. and nutty.

And I like nutty people and he is the nuttiest. I also like that he's laying off the collagen lip injections because for the last couple of years he was looking a little too Goldie Hawn if you get my drift.

____________________________

Billy Ray Cyrus says he's a friend to his daughter, future rehabber Mylie. Just what every teenaged girl needs, a father for a friend while she pole dances on national TV.

And they won't let gays adopt in some places but Billy Ray can have as many soon-to-be crazies as he wants.

____________________________

Paris Hilton.

Lindsay Lohan.

Oprah Winfrey.

And making their first appearance on the list, and our first couple on the list, in more ways than one:

Mark and Jenny Sanford.

That's all.