The Funny Papers

Adam Zyglis, Marc Murphy, Bill Bramhall, Lalo Alcaraz, David Horsey, RJ Matson, JD Crowe, Clay Bennett, Gary Huck, Dave Whamond, Darrin Bell, Deb Milbrath, Ted Littleford, Nick Anderson, Michael de Adder, Mike Luckovich,

The Funny Papers

Walt Handelsman, Bill Day, Mike Luckovich, Dave Whamond, David Horsey, Jack Ohman, Steve Breen, Michael de Adder, Matt Wuerker, Kevin Siers, Ed Hall, Darrin Bell, Steve Benson, Deb Milbrath, Nick Anderson, Clay Bennett

The Funny Papers

Ed Hall, Mike Luckovich, Steve Sack, Nick Anderson, Adam Zyglis, Drew Sheneman, Darrin Bell, Jim Morin, Clay Bennett, Kevin Siers, JD Crowe, Steve Benson

Random Musings

The other day Bill O'Reilly complained that President Abraham Lincoln never would have appeared in a Funny or Die sketch a la President Obama because he had integrity ... and not just because the internet hadn't been invented yet.

Ass-followedquickyby-hat.

What’s this? In South Carolina? A homo on a sports team?

Anton Hysén, the Swedish soccer star, came out as gay three years ago, and this week he signed with the Myrtle Beach Mutiny, a South Carolina team that competes in the National Premier Soccer League.

Hysén joins the, also openly gay, Robbie Rogers, who made history a year ago when he became the first openly gay major league soccer player by signing with the Los Angeles Galaxy.

Congrats Anton! And welcome to South Carolina.

Angela McGlowan, a FoxNews contributor, appeared on Sean Hannity's show over the weekend and actually linked the disappearance of Malaysia 370 to Obama's foreign policy.

Hannity: "To me this thing was blown out of the sky, in my opinion. Your thoughts..."

McGlowan: "I believe it was too. The current administration, Sean, doesn't really have a foreign policy plan and they're really a failure in homeland security so I'm gravely concerned..."

It’s the most ridiculous, unfounded, sand stupid “Thanks Obama” ever. But then it’s Fox so, yeah, there’s that.

Mistress Maddie turned me on to a SyFy show called Bitten about werewolves.

Now, I am not a werewolfer, or whatever you call someone obsessed with werewolves, but the hot guys, the shirtless action and some beefcake butt is a bit of an obsession.

And those up there are some of the hot Bitten boys, from the top, clockwise:

Greg Bryk, Greyston Holt, Steve Lund, Paul Greene and Michael Xavier.

Yum.

Out there in Washington, late last year, Eastside Catholic High School’s openly gay, and newly legally married, Vice Principal Mark Zmuda was given a choice: divorce his husband or be fired.

Love won out, so Zmuda was fired.

But rather than the story simply withering and dying, some of the students and faculty at ECH protested the treatment of Zmuda. In fact, they protested for months into the new year and ultimately caused the school president Sister Mary Tracy to resign. And now Mark Zmuda has filed a lawsuit against the school and the Seattle Archdiocese for discrimination and wrongful termination.

The Archdiocese has already drafted a motion for dismissal, claiming that Zmuda knew his marriage went against the teachings of the Church and against school policy. But, yeah, so would the divorce they urged him to get to save his job, no?

And would you like another but? From the ECH website:

“Eastside Catholic School does not discriminate on the basis of an employee’s or applicant’s race, religion, creed, color, sex, age, national origin, disability, marital status, sexual orientation or any other status or condition protected by local, state or federal law.”

Huh? What?

Funny thing is, though, this particular passage has been scraped clean off the school’s website, though everything, everything, lives on in the interwebz.

RuPaul’s Drag Race featured the first week that all contestants met and, well, did not play so well together. In fact, during a group challenge, teams were picked purely along the lines of the original groups. So, who did I like this week, and who disappointed:

The Bestest:

Well, I loved me some Milk this week.

The Pinocchio nose, and the impossibly high shoe and long legs and damned fine walk were surefire winners for me.

And I still loves me some Ben De La Creme though I worry that she’s kind of a one-note, in terms of style and catwalkery.

But she's got a killer sense of humor so that may even things out.

The Meh:

Courtney Act is pretty. That’s all I get from her.

That and an accent.

The Worstest:

Adore Delano. Girl, if it’s an acting challenge, learn your lines. 

And if you’re the leader of the group, think about it before assigning parts.

Gia Gunn is quick with a quip and a read, but other than that she’s as dumb as a box of ricks.

Who are you Ru-ting for?

Last August, New York state Attorney General Eric Schneiderman sued Donald Trump, alleging that his Trump University real estate school was a fraudulent get-rich-quick scheme that charged seminar attendees thousands of dollars for useless training. 

And naturally, Trump has decided to sue Schneiderman for $100M, saying that the state has damaged his reputation.

Uh huh, he said his reputation.

Side note: Last week Trump, at CPAC declared that Jimmy Carter was dead. News to Jimmy Carter, I’m sure, but when called on it, Trump called it sarcasm.

Uh huh. Dead president humor is the height of high-larity.

So, the Mississippi House's Judiciary B Civil Subcommittee has advanced their version of Arizona’s Don’t Serve The Gays Bill, masked, of course, as a "religious freedom" bill, even though there is another town in the state that passed a resolution recognizing the dignity and worth of all residents, even the LGBT ones.

 Oxford, Mississippi joins two other Mississippi cities — Starkville and Hattiesburg — in passing pro-LGBT resolutions earlier this year.

Snap.

So, CPAC was last week and the usual Bag Of Loons crawled from the muck and mire to speak: Bachmann, Mama grizzly Bore, Trump, North, Santorum; it was a freaking’ sideshow of GOP lunacy.

And, in addition to the elected crazies, CPAC once again welcomed ProEnglish — a white nationalist group — even while they shunned groups that represent LGBT and atheist conservatives.

This may explain why CPAC’s diversity seminar was held in an empty room.

That’s no joke; there was literally no one there.

Honey Maid, a nearly 90-year-old graham cracker brand, is now defining "wholesome" with a new campaign featuring interracial and gay couples, a tattooed punk rock musician and a single father.

The new ads — debuting campaign last week all over network television — show what the brand calls "real-life stories," like the one about Jason and Tim, a same-sex couple raising two son, and Honey Maid says, of the ads:

"We recognize change is happening every day, from the way in which a family looks today to how a family interacts to the way it is portrayed in media. We at Honey Maid continue to evolve and expand our varieties to provide delicious, wholesome products so they can be a part of everyday moments of connection in a world with changing, evolving family dynamics."

It’s a similar ad to the Chevrolet ads that began showing during the run-up to the Olympics.

The times are a’changing. Gays and graham crackers! Who knew?

Say what?

On the heels of the news last week that more Americans support same-sex marriage than ever before comes a new poll from the Pew Research Center which reports that the majority of young Republicans feel the same way.

Once again: say what?

It seems that, today, 61% of Republicans and those who lean Republican, under the age of thirty, favor same-sex marriage while just 35% oppose it.

By contrast, just 27% of Republicans ages 50 and older favor marriage equality.

Looks like the younger generation of the GOrwmP — the Grand Old rich white man Party — might just start shaking things up. allowing gays and lesbians to marry.