Charlie and The Wailing Wall

Okay, now I've heard everything.

Well, probably not.

Last week we had a pastor or somesuch telling us that God sent tornadoes to Minnesota because the Lutherans don't hate the gays. See, it was his polite way of saying "God Hates Fags" without actually saying it.

Now, comes word that Charlie Crist--who has had his own run-ins with gayness in the past. It's not telling tales out of school to say that there have been rumors for years that Charlie Crist is a Friend Of Dorothy.

So, I find it interesting that this man, who many think of as a closeted homosexual, thinks that because he asked God to spare Florida from hurricanes that explains the lack of storms down there for the past couple of years.

It goes like this: Charlie Crist told a group of real estate agents he's had prayer notes placed in the Western Wall in Jerusalem each year and no major storms have hit Florida. He made note of the fact that Florida was hit by eight hurricanes in 2004 and 2005, but not since his election in 2006.

Charlene, I mean, Charlie, Crist: "Do you know the last time it was we had a hurricane in Florida? It's been awhile. In 2007, I took my first trade mission. Do you know where I went?" He was referring to a trip to Israel where he went to the Western Wall and inserted a note with a prayer. He said it read, "Dear God, please protect our Florida from storms and other difficulties. Charlie."

"Time goes on - May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December - no hurricanes,"

Crist said. "Thank God."

So then, delusional Charlie, upon hearing that Senator Nan Rich was traveling to Israel, asked her to put a note in the Western Wall.

"It was the same note, by the way, the same prayer," Crist said.

This year a friend was going to Israel and Crist gave him a prayer to put in the Western Wall. The note was placed in the wall in May.

"May, June, July, August - we're getting closer," Crist said. "Knock on wood. I would ask you all to say a prayer."

Charlie? A little suggestion. Think bigger. Put a prayer in the wall asking God to make the United States economy rebound quicker. Make health care reform pass? Stop that bothersome global warming. Give Jennifer Anniston a hit movie.

Or maybe, Charlie, just maybe, you could slip into your ruby loafers and travel to Oz where you can ask the wizard for a brain. Or at least the good sense God gave a goat.