I Didn't Say It ...

Whoopi Goldberg, on the film of The Felon fellating a microphone:

“I’m reluctant to do it, but I have to and that is this … it bothered me all day and I couldn’t figure it out until this morning. I don’t want to hear any more parents out there nervous about what their children are being taught or frightened by drag queens reading books to your kids. If what you saw him do did not disgust you enough to protect your kids, I don’t wanna hear from you anymore.”

If you can celebrate an old man who acts like that in public then STFU about drag queens.

Better still, just STFU about drag queens anyway.

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Deshawn Radden, Survivor runner up, coming out as gay:

“A running list of things I am… A child of God, Son, Brother, Friend, Doctor & a QUEER black man. I came out to my family and a few close friends a few years ago. The journey only began at that point, and it’s taken much growing, learning & unlearning and developing self-love to get here, especially as this part of my identity intersects with my faith. These last few seasons of my life have been transformative for me in that way. I had a fear of losing people because of who I was. However, my loved ones’ responses showed me that unconditional love is just that, unconditional. So now I take solace in knowing who is for me will always rock! And beyond anything, I’m grateful to show up in all spaces as my full self now. As of today, I look to do 2 things: 1. No longer live in duality, but in truth & oneness 2. Be an example that God loves each of us and can/will use anyone. To anyone who may struggle reconciling parts of your identity with your faith, this is my advice: Experience God, on your own, through genuine relationship and see what happens. Love!”

Welcome out, Deshawn, and please accept as our gift from HOMO HQ the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven™ and a copy of The Gay Agenda.

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Kris Mayes, Arizona Attorney General says she has “no intention” of dropping the criminal case against a group of Felon allies who sought to overturn the results of the 2020 election in Arizona:

“I have no intention of breaking that case up. I have no intention of dropping that case. A grand jury in the state of Arizona decided that these individuals who engaged in an attempt to overthrow our democracy in 2020 should be held accountable, so we won’t be cowed, we won’t be intimidated.”

Lock ‘em up.

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Jamie Lee Curtis, Oscar-winning actress and LGBTQ+ ally, mother of a transgender daughter, Ruby Guest, sending love and support to all who feel threatened after the election:

“So the results are in. Many will be celebrating, possibly even gloating over their victory. Many will be stunned and sad with the terrible feelings of the loss. That is the same result despite who wins because that's what America and democracy looks like. Has always looked like. So what does it mean? It means a sure return to a more restrictive, some fear draconian time. Many fear their rights will be impeded and denied. Many, minority groups and young people will be afraid. Gay and trans people will be more afraid. We know that many women will now find it difficult to get the reproductive healthcare that they need and deserve. For all those people there will be those who will help you. Me included. But what it really means is that we wake up and fight. Fight for women and our children and their futures and fight against tyranny, one day at a time. One fight at a time. One protest at a time. That’s what it means to be an American. That’s what it has always meant and will always mean regardless of the outcome. Be gentle with people today. Be gentle with yourself today. Feel your feelings today but most of all ... Be an American today.”

Curtis, mother of trans daughter Ruby Guest, is an outspoken LGBTQ+ ally; she received The Advocate’s Advocate of the Year Award in 2023 and is constantly standing up for us and speaking out for us.

Thank you, Jamie Lee.

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Sheryl Lee Ralph, actress and singer, schooling “people of a certain age” about respecting preferred pronouns.

“Some of the things you used to do and say when you were young, they’re not going to work right now, OK? These children right about now, they want to be called by their name. They want to be respected with their pronouns. In my lifetime … I’ve been colored, Negro, Black, African American. I mean, there have been so many names to try to figure out what to call people (who are descendants) from the African continent in America and around the world that I understood it in many ways—how young people are saying, ‘Look, things are changing once again.’ And so what if they don't look like what you think they should look like? Just try and call people by their name, nobody likes being called out of their name.”

That Sheryl Lee Ralph; she’s a Dream, girl.

See what I did there?

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Andy Beshear, Kentucky’s Democrat governor, in an op-ed for The New York Times.

“As governor, I have vetoed numerous anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-choice bills, yet I still beat [The Felon’s] handpicked candidate last fall. That happened because even if some voters might have disagreed with the vetoes, they knew the next day I would be announcing new jobs, opening a new health clinic or finishing a new road that would cut 20 minutes off their commute. Transgender children deserve public officials’ efforts to demonstrate that they are valued members of our community through compassion, kindness, and empathy, even if not understanding. I vetoed anti-LGBTQ legislation last year because I believe all children are children of God and whether people agree with my decision, they know why I’m making it. They know where I am coming from.”

In March 2023, Beshear vetoed a bill which included a ban on gender-affirming care for trans minors, restrictions on discussion of LGBTQ+ issues in schools, and a provision allowing outing of LGBTQ+ students. Unfortunately, the Kentucky GOP overrode his veto, so the bill became law. In 2022, he vetoed a bill barring transgender girls and women from competing with cisgender females in school sports; lawmakers overrode it too. 

This year, he signed an executive order to outlaw the use of conversion therapy, designed to turn LGBTQ+ people straight or cisgender, on minors after the Republican-dominated legislature failed to pass a bill to this effect.

Beshear remains a reliable LGBTQ+ ally and a rather attractive one at that.

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Dick Van Dyke, 98-year-old comedy icon, when asked about The Felon’s upcoming second term in the White House:

“Fortunately, I won’t be around to experience the [next] four years [but] fifty years ago—May 31st, 1964—I was on the podium with Dr. Martin Luther King, who was addressing some 60,000 people in the Colosseum in LA, and I was there to read a message written by Rod Serling. I got it out the other day and I think it means as much today—if not more—than it did then, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to read it:

Hatred is not the norm. Prejudice is not the norm. Suspicion, dislike, jealousy, scapegoating—none of those are the transcendent facets of the human personality. They are diseases. They are the cancers of the soul. They are the infectious and contagious viruses that have been breeding humanity for years. And because they have been and because they are, is it necessary that they shall be? I think not.”

Well said, sir, well said.

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I Didn't Say It

Herschel Walker, the prolife candidate who make no exceptions for abortion, denying he ever paid for a girlfriend’s procedure:

“I send money to a lot of people. And that’s what’s so funny. You know, I do scholarships for kids. I give money to people all the time. Because I’m always helping people. Because I believe in being generous. God has blessed me, I want to bless others. Now, I got into this race because I’m a Christian. I love the Lord Jesus Christ and I always tell everyone that no weapon formed against me shall prosper. So whoever been out there wanna lie on Herschel Walker, you’re lying on the wrong one.”

The woman in question, who wishes to remain anonymous, but is apparently the mother of one of his children, says Walker talked her into the abortion, paid for the abortion, and then sent her a Get-Well card.

This latest Walker mess comes on the heels of his son, Christian, calling Walker out for abusing his family and being a deadbeat dad after walking away from them.

Ps Herschel now has a new statement where he says he knows nothing about paying for a woman’s abortion, but, like OJ Simpson, if he did it, he’s been forgiven.

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Whoopi Goldberg, at the New York Film Festival promoting her film Till, saying Carolyn Bryant Donham, the white woman behind Emmett Till’s lynching, to confess and admit to lying on him.

“I don’t want her in jail but I want her in front of a judge and jury. I want her to admit what she did and what part she had. And then, you know, for me, that would be perfect, instead of still trying to hide what she did away.”

In August, a Mississippi grand jury declined to indict Donham for Till’s death. Donham claimed that, in 1955, Till whistled at her which led her husband and others to lynch the fourteen-year-old.

Donham ... 21 at the time of Till’s death ... is now 88 and still a free woman. She has never been arrested or charged for her role in the lynching. Her then-husband, Roy Bryant, and brother-in-law, J.W. Milam were each acquitted of actually committing the murder and both men are now deceased.

But she needs to stand up and say what she did, in court.

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Scott Jensen, GOP candidate for governor of Minnesota, claimed that children are identifying as “furries” and are being allowed to use litter boxes to urinate in schools:

“But what about education? What are we doing to our kids? Why are we telling elementary kids that they get to choose their gender this week? Why do we have litter boxes in some of the school districts so kids can pee in them, because they identify as a furry? We’ve lost our minds. We’ve lost our minds.”

Seriously. Now, think about this: everyone in the world carries a phone and yet I’ve not seen one student dressed as a cat, other than on Halloween, and have not seen one photo of a litter box in a school bathroom, but for the GOP morons, this is an issue.

I posted on Monday that Heidi Ganahl,  the GOP nominee for governor of Colorado, has made the same claims … again without a single shred of proof.

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Marjorie Taylor Greene, who has nothing left but lies, spoke at a Thing 45 rally and told the crowd that Democrats are murdering Republicans:

“I’m not going to mince words with you all. Democrats want Republicans dead. They’ve already started the killings. An 18-year-old was run down by a Democrat driver who confessed to killing the teenager simply because he was a Republican.”

That’s a lie, Marge, North Dakota Highway Patrol Captain Bryan said his department’s investigations have “uncovered no evidence to support the claim” that the murder had anything to do with politics or that the victim was a Republican.

But still Large Marge will lie.

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Elissa Slotkin, Democrat Representative from Michigan, accusing congressional Republicans of turning the Solid Start Act, a bipartisan bill to help the nation’s veterans into “a cold heartless, violent” referendum on the right to abortion:

“In terms of making decisions on behalf of women, if you want to take a veterans’ bill and make it about abortion, then let’s do it. What you are saying—and you’re saying in front of the American people—is that you believe a veteran who has been raped, who was the victim of incest, or who is having a dangerous miscarriage, does not deserve access to abortion. If you can’t state it, then be clear you believe in no exceptions for women—a cold heartless, violent approach to women’s health. You want to ban all abortions. That is your goal. Many of you have been open about that, and if you flip the House, we know that you will put forward a full ban on all abortion for all states. We are all, on this floor, elected officials and not medical professionals. If it was your wife, your daughter who was suffering through a miscarriage, are you going to tell her she can’t until her fever gets high enough and until she’s bleeding harder? If that’s what you want for veterans, shame on you! Shame on you!”

Slotkin’s Solid Start Act helps veterans transition into civilian society but Republicans tried to block it after learning it includes a “requirement that the Department of Veterans Affairs provide female veterans with information ‘tailored to their specific health care’ needs,” which would adhere to a new VA policy providing abortion access for women vets who are victims of rape, incest or whose life is jeopardized.

Good on Representative Slotkin for pointing out that, for the GOP, rapists and child molesters deserve more rights than women, and we know this because traitorous House GOP Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy’s plan for the GOP to take back the House says in a section called “Preserve Our Constitutional Freedoms” that Republicans will “protect the lives of unborn children and their mothers.”

Unless the unborn child is the child of an illiterate asshat running for Senate as a Republican, then abortion is fine.

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I Didn't Say It

Jon Stewart, comedian, former “Daily Show” host and activist, taking on Ted Cruz for voting No on the PACT bill, and the subsequent passing of the bill:

"I'm used to lies. I'm used to hypocrisy. I'm used to their cowardice. I'm not used to the cruelty [for a bill] … they had fought for, for more than a decade. The bill that Ted Cruz voted yes on had the exact same funding provisions as the bill he voted no on. It’s the exact same bill. None of this makes any sense. That is just a word salad that he's spewing into his coffee cup on his way to God knows where. All cowards. All of them … I’m not sure I’ve ever seen this situation where people who have already given so much had to fight so hard to get so little. I hope we learned a lesson.”

The bill finally passed this week though these eleven Republicans voted ‘No’: Mitt Romney, Rand Paul, Mike Crapo, James Lankford, Mike Lee, Cynthia Lumis,  James Risch, Richard Shelby, Pat Toomey, Tommy Turberville, Thom Tillis.

Note that Rafael Cruz voted ‘Yes’ this time though not one thing changed about the bill after he voted ‘No’ and then fist-bumped his fellow ReTHUGlicans.

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Whoopi Goldberg, on the passing of pioneering actor Nichelle Nichols who inspired her to appear in ‘Star Trek’:

“Nichelle Nichols was a trailblazer, a heroine, and an extraordinary woman—somebody who inspired millions and millions of people, but who inspired me because I explained when I went to get my gig at ‘Star Trek’ that Nichelle was the first Black person I’d ever seen who made it to the future. She was head of communications. And this show and this woman was the one beacon that said, ‘Yes, we’ll be there.’ And it just made me feel like that was an amazing thing. She helped propel other women to go into space. She was extraordinary and I was lucky enough to spend time with her over the years. She was my friend. She’ll be missed.”

As in many cases, people of color stand on  the shoulders of those who came before them, and help the next generation step up. Nichelle did that for Whoopi, and Whoopi paid it forward.

Rest in Power.

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Joe Scarborough, MSNBC’s ‘Morning Joe,’ on that stunning rejection by Kansas voters of an amendment that would have allowed state legislators to ban abortion:

“I think it’s an example a lot of people who identified themselves as pro-life looking at what happened since Roe was overturned. Looking at the extremism, looking at the 10-year-old girl being chased from the state, looking at the Texas attorney general fighting for the right to let mothers die on the operating table, to tear away the protections that the federal government is trying to put in place to protect moms to have a choice whether they die on an operating table or not. You look at all of the extremities, and now again in another Republican state legislature trying to give the right to members of a rapist’s family to sue a rape victim for $20,000 unless she has a forced pregnancy. This is a rapist’s bill of rights that Republicans are passing, a rapists’ bill of rights for forced childbirth on children.”

The vote made Kansas one of the only red states where abortion remains legal after the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. And it might just be the first because SCOTUS and the GOP’s rapidly increasing radicalism—Don’t Say Gay, don’t honor police officers, vote against healthcare for vets, ban books, attack drag queens—has pissed off a lot of people on both sides.

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Mitch McConnell, Senate Minority Leader, walking back his expectations about how many Senate seats are likely to flip in the midterm election:

“I think it’s going to be very tight. We have a 50-50 nation. And I think when this Senate race smoke clears, we’re likely to have a very, very close Senate still, with us up slightly or the Democrats up slightly.”

I think Mitch maybe trying to play both sides. We do not have a 50-50 nation; there are more democrats than Republican and when we vote, we win. And the four years terrorist reign  of Thing 45, coupled with this radical SCOTUS, and the GOP’s culture wars on everything that isn’t white and Christian and straight, has angered Democrats and Independents and women and the LGBTQ+ community.

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I Didn't Say It

President Biden, on the leaked draft of the Supreme Court’s opinion striking down Roe v. Wade:

"We do not know whether this draft is genuine [Biden spoke before the Supreme Court confirmed the authenticity of the draft], or whether it reflects the final decision of the Court [but] with that critical caveat, I want to be clear on three points about the cases before the Supreme Court. First, my administration argued strongly before the Court in defense of Roe v. Wade. We said that Roe is based on 'a long line of precedent recognizing ‘the Fourteenth Amendment’s concept of personal liberty’… against government interference with intensely personal decisions. I believe that a woman’s right to choose is fundamental, Roe has been the law of the land for almost fifty years, and basic fairness and the stability of our law demand that it not be overturned. We will be ready when any ruling is issued. And it will fall on voters to elect pro-choice officials this November. At the federal level, we will need more pro-choice Senators and a pro-choice majority in the House to adopt legislation that codifies Roe, which I will work to pass and sign into law." 

You heard it from Joe; if you believe a woman has the right to choose her own healthcare options, then vote for pro-choice candidate, er, Blue.

CASTA  GODDAMNED VOTE!

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Brian Kilmeade, Fox & Friends host, proving chauvinism and misogyny are a trademark at Fox:

“Let’s talk about this, something new that kind of got sprung on us last week. For the last few months, we have had a disinformation czar and a unit within the Homeland Security Department … Then, we find out who is in charge of it, and this woman that’s in charge of it, Nina Jankowicz, who’s about eight-and-a-half-months pregnant. “I’m not sure how you get a job and then you just—you can’t do a job for three months. I’m not faulting her, but I don’t know why you would give someone a job that you think is so important.”

And here’s Brian Kilmeade proving he knows nothing about women because he has one foot in his mouth and his entire head shoved up his ass.

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Susan Collins, GOP Senator from Maine, reacting to the Supreme Court leaked draft document:

“If this leaked draft opinion is the final decision and this reporting is accurate, it would be completely inconsistent with what Justice Gorsuch and Justice Kavanaugh said in their hearings and in our meetings in my office. Obviously, we won’t know each Justice’s decision and reasoning until the Supreme Court officially announces its opinion in this case.”

Hey Coathanger Sue? I knew Gorsuch and Kavanaugh would vote to overturn Roe v Wade, but you don’t want to upset the apple cart so you bought what they said, like you bought everything the GOP and Thing 45 have told you for four years.

Collins has already said she’d be a ‘No’ vote if Congress tried to pass a Pro-Choice bill, so Susan Collins needs to have her flip-flopping, ass-kissing, uniformed ass removed from public office.

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Cassie Smedile, executive director of America Rising pro-[Thing 45] PAC, blatantly lying, and stupidly so, about Democrats and abortion:

“We’re not talking about 40 years ago. Today’s Democrats are advocating for the right to have an abortion beyond the birth of the child. And most Americans would say, ‘That’s not something that sits well with me.’ And, so for Democrats to go out on the campaign trail if they want to put all their eggs in this basket and have the conversation about a much more aggressive—much more aggressive conversation about this issue, I think that will be at their own political peril. It’s so far out of step with what most Americans feel on this sensitive issue.”

Cassie? Honey? How does someone about a child that has been born? I know you’re a moron but try to make it make sense.

Failing that, perhaps you should listen to the polls, because nearly every single one says 70% of Americans support a woman’s right to choose.

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Whoopi Goldberg, on the end of Roe v Wade means to her:

“You got people telling me I gotta wear a mask, or don’t wear a mask, or do this. Everybody wants to tell me what to do! This is my body! My doctor, and myself, and my child—that’s who makes the decision [about abortion]. Women, when they decide something is not right for them, they’re going to take it into their own hands [because] we got tired of tripping over [other] women in public bathrooms who were giving themselves abortions because there was nowhere safe, nowhere clean, nowhere to go. It is a hard, awful decision that people make [and] if you don’t have the wherewithal to understand that, to start the conversation with, ‘I know how hard this must be for you,’ if you’re starting it by telling me I’m going to burn in hell, then you’re not looking out for me as a human being, whether I subscribe to your religion or not, and that is not OK. It has nothing to do about your religion. This is not a religious issue, this is a human issue.”

Word. And Whoopi knows whereof she speaks because she has been quite candid of her own illegal abortion she had as a teenager.

Remember, ending Roe v Wade won’t end abortion, it will end safe abortion.

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i Ain't One to Gossip But ...

Wow, this bitch … this past week embattled “Housewife” Erika Jayne seemed to compare herself to Jesus Christ over the public scrutiny she’s faced for her ongoing legal troubles in which she looks like a con artist stealing money from widows and orphans.

A “fan” of the grifter posted a message to social media implying that being slammed in the court of public opinion is the same as Jesus being crucified on the cross:

And Erika Jayne liked being compared to Jesus until people started coming for her:

“Erika Jayne comparing herself to Christ is … absolutely insane.  This woman has lost her damn mind.”

“Erika Jayne is pulling a Vicki Gunvalson comparing her own (self imposed) drama to the crucifixion of Christ….. Girl PUHLEASEEEEEEE”

And because Erika is a vindictive child she battled back with this:

Oh Erika, you aren’t anything near Christ-like. You stayed married for over twenty years to a man who paid for your every whim, like being an aging pop star, and when he slipped some $25 million in your LLC bank account, that you knew wasn’t yours, you spent it willingly.

And you only left your husband minutes before the scandal broke that he was stealing from victims of an airplane crash.

Again, not Christ-like.

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There’s a simple rule about comedy: don’t try it unless you know you’re funny. Amirite, Barbara Corcoran?

Corcoran is feeling the heat after a body shaming “joke” about Whoopi Goldberg on the View. It happened last week when Corcoran, a Shark Tank judge visited the show with Good American CEO and founder Emma Grede, who is set to become the first Black, female guest shark on Shark Tank. During their conversation, The View co-host Sunny Hostin raved about Good American‘s size-inclusive jeans, and Whoopi Goldberg, a comedian, made a joke, saying:

“Will they fit this COVID [butt]?”

Barbara responded with:

“When you get finished with those jeans, and decide you don’t like them, give them to me. I’m gonna make two pairs.” 

The camera then panned to Whoopi, who looked both shocked and unamused, while co-host, and No Fucks Left To Give, Ana Navarro jumped in to defend her and threw a jab at the floral-print dress Barbara was wearing.

“Whoopi, let me just tell you something. Both Sara Haines and Jill Biden wore [Corcoran’s] dress already, on TV.” 

Lessons learned:

Barbara Corcoran should leave the so-called comedy to the comedians.

Fat-shaming anyone, even a comedian, is not a joke.

Ana Navarro will always have your back.

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After the film adaptation of his original production of Cats flopped in theaters in 2019, receiving a litter of scathing reviews, Andrew Lloyd Webber got a therapy dog:

“I saw [Cats], and I just thought, ‘Oh, God, no!’ It was the first time in my 70-odd years on this planet that I went out and bought a dog. So the one good thing to come out of it is my little Havanese puppy.”

I didn’t see Cats because I’m trying to cut out cheese, but I heard a lot of people needed therapy after watching the film.

Sidenote—and this slays me: after spending the entire lockdown together, Lloyd Webber petitioned to have the dog allowed on a plane, and when the airline asked if he could “prove” that he needed the dog, Lloyd said:

“Yes, just see what Hollywood did to my musical Cats."

To which they responded with:

“No doctor’s report required.”

Snap.

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Katie Couric really has nothing new going on, so she wrote a book, Going There, in which she trashes just about everyone.

She says Prince Harry reeked of alcohol and cigarettes when she met him at a polo match decades ago during his hard partying days.

She sang a stupid song to the Martha Stewart and when she didn’t laugh, Katie dubber her a humorless C U Next Tuesday.

She writes about a 2010 dinner at Jeffrey Epstein’s house with Prince Andrew, Chelsea Handler, Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn, George Stephanopoulos and Charlie Rose, and says her seventeen years younger boyfriend, remarked how young the women were who took their coats, and says:

“I couldn’t imagine what Epstein and Andrew were up to, apart from trying to cultivate friends in the media. Which, in retrospect, they must have figured they’d need when the pedophilia charges started rolling in.”]

Um, Katie, in 2010, before you accepted his invite, Epstein had already been convicted and served time for procuring a child for prostitution, so your now faux outrage doesn’t fit.

Couric, who covered for Today co-host Deborah Norville in 1991 when Norville took maternity leave, says she got Norville’s job because Norville was “too pretty” at a time in the morning when people were still getting ready for the day.

Norville was too pretty? How feminist of you, Katie.

Katie saw Today as her “turf” and kept an eye on any woman who was “younger and cuter” like Ashleigh Banfield whose “father was telling anyone who’d listen that she was going to replace me.”

Banfield has already hit back at the lie, saying that at the time she was reporting from a war zone in Afghanistan and her father made a comment that he’d like to have NBC give Ashleigh a desk job, and to Katie that was an assault.

Other targets in Katie’s book include Joan Rivers, possibly because Joan saw through her and hated her; she says she once went on a date with Michael Jackson and said he had a hand like a dead fish; she slams  Neil Simon, whom she also dated, because he was ALLEGEDLY too old, or too turned off, to fuck; she says Larry King once came at her tongue-first and tried to jump her bones.

And she especially loathed her rival Diane Sawyer as the two battled to be the top star in morning TV news and told her bosses:

"That woman must be stopped."

Couric says she and Sawyer battled over interviews and talks about the time Katie got an exclusive with two teens who had been abducted because her team pointed out that she was a widowed mother of two girls, while Sawyer was just a stepmother. 

And then she has the balls to say that Sawyer’s interview with the late Whitney Houston was exploitative, and that Sawyer used Houston's personal troubles to get good sound bites. 

But, and this is rich, she actually texted “I love you and care about you deeply” to serial predator Matt Lauer after he was fired for sexual harassment.

Tying it all up, Katie Couric hates women who are younger and prettier, funnier, more talented, but dines with child rapists and loves sexual predators.

Little Miss Perky is also quite a bitch, apparently.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

It looks like The COVID-19 Break-up is still a thing; you know, where couples end their marriages and relationships because of lockdown and the idea that they really don’t care for each other. Or maybe the idea that you just want some other dick.

Last week Zoe Kravitz filed for divorce from Karl Glusman after four years together, and eighteen months married. They had a dream wedding in Paris, at her dad, Lenny Kravitz’, luxurious apartment and seemed like a lovely couple. But Zoe, like her mother Lisa Bonet, has that kind of wild-child, flower-child free-spirited thing going on and, well, yeah, maybe wanted another dick, because as soon as the split was announced came news that Zoe was having a thang with Channing Tatum.

To be fair, as soon as that story broke, both sides issued denials which, you know, means nothing. I was kinda hoping they would become a couple, oh not because I like Zoe, though I do, and not because I adore Channing’s exceptionally fine ass, though I do, but because of the holidays.

Picture it … Thanksgiving Dinner at Zoe’s … with Channing Tatum, Lenny Kravitz and Jason Momoa.

The thirst is real.

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More Hilarious Baldwin stories? Okay! She is the Christmas Gift that keeps on giving, and the latest present from this wacknut—who blames the media  for her fake Spanish accent—is about the time Hilaria Hillary was confused about how to write her own name on a tax document.

You see, when it was time to put her Juanita Hancock on her 2009 W-4 document, Hilaria Hillary—who had spent 10 years pretending to be a Spanish-speaking native of Mallorca—wrote down two names, crossed them out, and finally wrote “Hillary L. Hayward-Thomas.”

The document is real, and is an exhibit in an old lawsuit against her Yoga Vida studio, and funnily enough, the court records also contain the code of conduct for the Hilarious’ studio instructors about honesty:

“Truth is defined to be when thoughts and words correspond directly to facts.”

Who wrote that? Hilaria or Hillary?

To be fair, she had to sign the document ‘Hillary’ because that is her real name and if she’d signed Hilaria, she would have been committing perjury,

It’s Hilarious. And kinda sad.

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Rumors are flying …again …  that Kim Kardastrophe West and Kanye Kardastrophe West are “essentially over” and living separate lives in California and Wyoming, and …

Oh, who really cares? This was a match made in media-whore heaven and we all knew it wouldn’t last.

PS Kimmy’s still wearing her wedding ring because she’s probably saving the announcement for a Very Special Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes. I mean, it’ll be good for ratings, right?

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It’s been a  rough week for Meghan “My Father is John” McCain. It was her first week back at The View after having  a baby and she was smacked down twice by Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.

On Day One of The Return, Meghan got pissy with Joy’s opinion, and began interrupting her, as usual. Joy, who was talking about GOP infighting, was not having it, and after Meghan shrieked about there being as much fighting within the Democratic party, she added:

“Joy, you missed me so much when I was on maternity leave. You missed fighting with me.” 

And Joy snapped back:

“I did not. I did not miss you. Zero.”

Meghan began pouting about Joy being nasty because she was just teasing, but we all know Meghan doesn’t tease; she has the sense of humor of _____.

Then, on Day Three of The Return, when The View started and the hosts were onscreen at the same time, Meghan glared at the camera, unsmiling and bitter like a Republican just realizing that they lost the White House, the House, the Senate, and any semblance of being a viable national political party.

And when newly elected Democratic Senator from Georgia, Raphael Warnock, was on to discuss his historic—and Jon Ossoff’s historic—win, Meghan, like a Rabid ReTHUG with a bone, kept asking Warnock if he would join Democratic Joe Manchin in rejecting a bunch of progressive political actions … like a better minimum wage, or a Green New Deal … climate change. But Warnock wasn’t having Meghan’s childishness and simply responded that he would work for the people of Georgia on healthcare and a living wage, and so Meghan kept repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating her question until Whoopi was done; she clapped her hands and shouted:

“HEY! Listen! We are going to say thanks to the Senator-elect Reverend Raphael Warnock.”

To be fair, this was the day after Meghan was pushing traitorous Senator Josh Hawley, who would, later in the day, be an inciter of the chaos at the Capitol, and be seen outside the building raising a fist in the air to the protesters, as the best GOP candidate for president in 2024.

Joy clapped at her,

Whoopi smacked her down.

She promoted a traitor for president,

Not a good first week, eh?

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Speaking of Rightwingnuts, howsabout 90s TV Hercules, Kevin Sorbo?

Sorbo is a very vocal _____ supporter, and, of course, a COVID denier, and is now one of the lunatics who swears that the mob who stormed the Capito;, after leaving _____;s Insurrection Rally moments earlier, were, in fact, not _____ supporters, but left-wing “Antifa” members in right-wing MAGAt cosplay, attempting to instigate violence and make _____’s supporters look bad… like that’s possible.

That theory has been dispelled because most of those MAGAt idiots were dumb enough to post repeatedly on Facebook about the protest and the riot and where to meet up to discuss who got to wear what costumes. Still, Sorbo took to Twitter to say:

“ANTIFA led the charge into the capitol building dressed as Trump supporters. To all the people who actually believe that it was Trump supporters who started the riot today: Where was antifa and BLM to counter? They show up to every single event, so why not this one?”

Well, antifa and BLM knew to stay away because they knew what a shitshow this would be. But still, Kevin persisted, and so it took Xena: Princess Warrior AKA Lucy Lawless, to put Hercules in his place by Tweeting:

“No, Peanut. They are not Patriots. They are your flying monkeys, homegrown terrorists, QAnon actors. They are the douchebags that go out and do the evil bidding of people like you who like to wind them up like toys and let them do their worst.”

Yes, Xena took down Hercules, though it wasn’t a fair fight really, because how can Sorbo use a sword with one hand whilst keeping a tinfoil hat on his head at the same time?

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