Bobservations

The other morning I was in the back of the house doing some work on the computer when I heard Carlos in the laundry room and then a crash. I started to ask what had happened, but Carlos beat me to it.

“What fell?”

“Nothing back here. What happened in the laundry room?”

“Nothing, but I heard a crash.”

I met him in the hallway and he asked:

“Was it in the bedroom?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t in the bedroom.”

“Was it in the bathroom?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t in the bathroom.”

“Was it in the guestroom?”

I shrieked in my best Carol Burnett as Eunice voice:

“I WAS IN THE OFFICE!”

Carlos goes into our bathroom and into the closet all the while saying, “Was it in here? Was it in here?”

Sidenote: I went to the kitchen and saw the culprit: Ozzo. He loves to sneak cat food from their dishes the moment we leave the room and he got tangled up in the cord to the landline and pulled the phone off the counter.

Carlos is still searching the house for signs of a crash.

I can already picture Junior and The Dumb One sneaking onto the golf course at midnight to dig up Mommy because Daddy needs a few documents.

The authorities in Accra, Ghana are investigating after a man was mauled to death by a lion after climbing into a zoo enclosure. Authorities suspect he may have planned to steal two rare white lion cubs which have become a big draw since their birth last November and the cubs’ mother attacked him.

Sorry, not sorry.

Remember Brandy Bottone, the  pregnant Dallas woman who made headlines after arguing that she was allowed to drive in the HOV lane because under Texas’ new abortion law her unborn baby counted as the second passenger?

Her citation was dismissed. However, Bottone has since received a second ticket for the same offense at roughly the same location and she again maintains that, under the law, and the fact that her citation was dismissed meant she could use the HOV lane.

Brandy’s testing Texas and I am here for it.

In North Carolina, Jonathan Young, a former Sunday school teacher, was sentenced to 87 years in prison for abusing and sexually assaulting at least three young girls behind church walls and on church buses.

In Arkansas, Keenan Hord was arrested on a charge of sexual indecency with a child during his time as a youth pastor and faces charges that include sexual assault and possessing sexually explicit material involving a child; he’s accused of molesting over 30 boys.

In Tennessee, Jason Kennedy and Brittney Branham, the principal and secretary of the Liberty Christian School in Riceville were arrested and charged with improper sexual activity in front of an underage teen and former student at the pastor’s home.

But, again, tell me how Drag Queen Story Hours are damaging to children when it clearly looks like churches are so dangerous.

Best dressed at last weekend’s VMA’s was none other than Lil Nas X—AKA Montero—who wore a gorgeous Harris Reed look. Somewhere in  Malibu, Cher threw a teacup at the TV and screamed:

“Bitch stole my look.”

And he rocked it.

A Southwest Airlines pilot helming a flight to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, took to the plane’s intercom and threatened to return the aircraft to its departure gate at the airport if passengers didn’t stop sending nude photos to him via iPhone’s AirDrop feature.

Um, I need to see a phot of the pilot, and maybe some of the nudes, cuz I have my own nude selfies queued up and ready to go.

The ashes of Nichelle Nichols, AKA Lieutenant Nyota Uhura in the original Star Trek, will be sent into deep space on a rocket fittingly called the Vulcan Centaur, with the memorial spaceflight company, Celestis, running the “Enterprise Flight” mission.

Nichols’ son, Kyle Johnson, donated her ashes after she passed away in July. Nichols will be joined by the remains of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry and his wife, Majel Barrett, who played nurse Christine Chapel in the series, and James Doohan, who played the Enterprise’s engineer, Scotty.

Fitting, no?

Caylan Hughes is a 36-year0old model, actor, personal trainer, nutritionist/dietician and Hot Ginger, but all that matters is: Would You Hit It?

I’ve Seen This Movie

A driver involved in a car accident in the Van Nuys area of Southern California gave onlookers quite the sight to see when he emerged from his vehicle, apparently unscathed, and nude.

The two-vehicle crash occurred and the man’s blue truck collided with the curb and created a bit of a traffic jam when the driver of that truck exited the vehicle through the passenger door, naked, with clothing in his hands. He then walks calmly up the street, away from the accident, dropping his clothes along the way.

 

The Terminator, right?

JoeMyGod

Random Musings

Sometimes it’s hard out there for a Republican …

Last week New Jersey Governor Chris Christie nearly missed his 9:55 Amtrak train from DC to New York and then he didn’t get the seat he wanted on the train and then he ALLEGEDLY had a hissy fit on his phone and then … he got kicked out of the Amtrak quiet car!

Alexander Mann, a commuter on the train tells the tale:

“He got on last minute yelling at his two secret service agents I think because of a seat mixup, sat down and immediately started making phone calls on the quiet car. After about 10 minutes the conductor asked him to stop or go to another car. He got up and walked out again yelling at his secret service. He was drinking a McDonald’s strawberry smoothie.”

I guess he didn’t get the Happy Meal?
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I am a fan of ABC’s Once Upon a Time, because I like it’s twist, and sometimes twisted, take on fairy tales. I also like that they don’t stick to the stereotypes of what a fairytale character should look like.

As in this season’s twist on Camelot, with Guinevere being a Latino woman, and Lancelot being African American.

But it’s Merlin, the white neared old man from the story that interests me now, because he’s played by much younger and far hotter, African American actor Elliot Knight.

That ain’t your Daddy’s Merlin, people.

[1,2,3]

Linda Harvey is a religious wingnut who hates gays and hates Halloween, and possibly really hates the gays on Halloween.

But she says this about the upcoming Trick-or-Treat Fest:

“Halloween celebrates the spirits of darkness like no other event. [Demonic forces] are more active than ever in recent times in America because we are inviting their activity in our lives. So here’s my question about Halloween: ‘Why hand your children to dark spiritual powers on a silver platter?’”

Seriously, I agree with her because everyone knows the Devil is so bad about returning things that you should never serve your children on a silver platter ... use a paper plate instead.
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True story: Norwegians use the word "Texas" as slang to mean crazy. It pops up frequently in everyday conversation, as in the phrase "Der var helt Texas!"

Translation: That’s totally Texas!

It became part of the language when Norwegians started watching cowboy movies and reading Western literature. Its first usage dates back to 1957, when it appeared in a novel by Vegard Vigerust called The Boy in which Vigerust writes about a boy who wanted to buy a village and says “he would make it even more Texas in the village".

Nowadays, the word is widespread all over Norway and most frequently used in the phrase "helt Texas" — 'Completely crazy' — and has appeared in Norwegian newspapers 50 times this year alone.

Funny, because here in America, when we say Texas we often mean ‘crazy,’ too.
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First off, I have an alibi … and the alibi is that this happened in Portland, Oregon and I haven’t been there in years.

But … last week a man broke into a Portland home in the middle of the night and found a couple sleeping in bed so … he stripped naked, climbed in the bed and began kissing the man.

The kiss apparently awoke the Sleeping Beauty and he found the naked burglar straddling him. The victim pushed the suspect off of him and the suspect put his pants back on and fled.

The suspect was arrested and faces charges of burglary and sexual abuse, as well as unlawful use of a weapon.

Again, I was three thousand miles away at the time.

This story is still all over our news. If you haven't heard, I'll break it down ...

A girl at a local high school was on her phone in class when the teacher asked her to get off the phone.

She said, 'No.'

He asked for the phone to be given top him for the rest of the class.

She said, 'No.'

He asked her to leave his class.

She said, 'No.'

The police officer on duty at the school was called into remove he and flipped her, in her desk, onto the floor and dragged her from the room.

The officer, who has had these same issues in the past, has been fired.
But, here's the problem with this ...

While the officer's actions were reckless and ridiculous and violent, what do we do about students in school ... children ... who have zero respect for authority?

What do we do about this rash of police violence against, mostly, African Americans?

What do we do about teachers who are so overworked and underpaid that they have lost control of their classes?

All kinds of questions, no clear answers.