I Didn't Say It ...

Eric Holder, Obama’s Attorney General, on Bill Barr, _____’s Attorney General Pitbull:

 “As a former U.S. attorney general, I am reluctant to publicly criticize my successors. I respect the office and understand just how tough the job can be. But recently, Attorney General William P. Barr has made a series of public statements and taken actions that are so plainly ideological, so nakedly partisan and so deeply inappropriate for America’s chief law enforcement official that they demand a response from someone who held the same office.”

But when you work for a criminal, you act like a criminal, and do the bidding of a criminal.

Bill Barr is a criminal.

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Kevin McCarthy, House Minority Leader, actually saying we can’t impeach ____ because he’s in his first term:

"In modern history, we've never gone after impeaching a president in the first term."

Seriously, the man defies the Constitution, lies, cheats, bullies, bribes trying to get himself reelected and we should just let him do it and then go after it?

Hey Kevin, you dumb fuck, should we let a murderer commit the murder before we do something, or should we try to stop him?

Asshat.

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Hank Johnson, Democratic Congressman from Georgia, smacking Republican dipshit Matt Gaetz, AKA  #DUIGaetz for Hunter Biden for substance abuse issues:

“I would say the pot calling the kettle black is not something we should do. I don’t know—I don’t know what members, if any, have had problems with substance abuse, been busted for DUI, I don’t know. but if I did, I wouldn’t raise it against anyone on this committee. I don’t think it’s proper. And, you know, I think we have to get back down to what is most important here.”

Matt Gaetz should clean his own house, or, at the very least, resign from the House. He’s a disgrace, and kudos to Johnson for calling out his hypocrisy.

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Mark Levin, Fox “News” host, showing his asshattery:

“What the Democrats have done here will only be stopped and the precedent that is so damning to this country will only be stopped if it is unleashed on them. The next president who’s a Democrat must be impeached. They must be investigated over and over again, follow exactly the Schiff-Nadler procedures, the Nancy Pelosi process. It must be done. I know it sounds painful. I had a caller say to me the other day when I said that it was disingenuous, that it shows that we’re no better than them. No, that’s wrong. It shows we must defeat this internal Fifth Column enemy. And they must understand that we have the willingness to do it so they don’t pull this again because otherwise, this is the precedent set in place now. Republicans will be rollovers for the rest of their time and Democrats will be bulldogs. We can’t allow that.”

God, and this passes for news and/or commentary on Fox? Impeaching an unknown Democrat just because of _____?

Grow.The.Fuck.Up.

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John Heilemann, MSNBC, claiming _____ will get another country to interfere with our elections if he’s not impeached:

“We are now in a situation where Donald _____ last summer after Bob Mueller testified: he got up the next day, picked up the phone and did foreign interference again, invited foreign interference from Zelensky. What is going to happen at the end of January when by all reasonable reckonings he is acquitted in the Senate? What is going to happen? What’s going to happen is Donald _____ is going to go and look for foreign interference again. I guarantee it. He is going to try to solicit foreign interference in the 2020 elections and it will be from someone that is aligned with Vladimir Putin. It’s as clear as the notion the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.”

The man knows only one way to “win,” and that’s through bribery, lying and cheating.

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Art Acevedo, Houston Police Chief, saying that  Sgt. Christopher Brewster, who was killed while responding to a domestic violence, denouncing GOP  Senators who have not reauthorized the Violence Against Women Act:

“One of the biggest reasons that the Senate and Mitch McConnell and John Cornyn and Ted Cruz and others are not getting into a room and having a conference committee with the House is because the NRA doesn’t like the fact that we want to take firearms out of the hands of boyfriends that abuse their girlfriends. You’re either here for women and children and our daughters and our sisters and our aunts, or you’re here for the NRA.”

Well, to be fair, most politicians are there for the NRA coins.

Sick as that sounds.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Dan Patrick, Texas Republican Rightwingnut Lt. Governor, offering a reason for the shooting in Texas:

“We may have to look at the design of our schools moving forward and retrofitting schools that are already built. There are too many entrances and too many exits. There are not enough people to put a guard in every entrance or exit …. maybe we need to look at limiting the entrances and exits into our schools so that we can have law enforcement looking at the people who are coming.”

So, it’s never guns. It’s doors. It’s trench coats. It’s abortions.

No, it’s Texas, and it’s asshats.

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Fred Guttenberg, father of Parkland victim Jaimee Guttenberg, on Patrick’s asshattery:

“I think those are the most idiotic comments I’ve ever heard regarding gun safety. Let me be clear, he should be removed from office for his failure to what to protect the citizens of Texas. To hear him continue to make the argument—after 10 people died in his state—that guns are not the issue is simply a crock.”

Hopefully more and more Americans are not buying what the GOP, the NRA-owned GOP, is spewing.

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Martin a gay man who didn’t come out until he was 85, on it being his greatest regret:

“It’s tough to be an outsider. I regret being such a sissy. So nervous. So bloody shy. I left it till I was actually 85 years old to really basically come out. I’ve missed the boat as regards to finding a lovely partner, a soulmate that I could love, live with. If you ask me if you want to set up with another young guy, go ahead, do it. You’ve got it. You owe it to yourself. And to him.”

Welcome Out, Martin. And, naturally, you’ll accept our Coming Out Toaster Oven and copy of The Gay Agenda.

See, it doesn’t matter so much when you come out, it matters that you come out.

And you, sir, have helped a great many people by doing so. Thank you.

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Donald Glover, on the rumor that his Star Wars character, the young Lando Calrissian, was sexually fluid:

“How can you not be pansexual in space? There’s so many things to have sex with. I’m serious. I didn’t think that was weird. Yeah, he’s coming on to everybody…It just didn’t seem that weird to me. It’s kind of like, the doors open. It’s like, no, only guys or girls. No, it’s anything. This thing is literally a blob. Are you a man or a woman? Like, who cares? Have a good time out here.”

And now you know!

PS He’s hot.

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Oliver North, traitorous arms dealer, blaming school shootings on Ritalin and video games:

“If school shield had been in place in Santa Fe High School, far less likely that would have happened. The problem we’ve got is we’re trying like the dickens to fight the symptom without treating the disease. The disease in this case isn’t the 2nd amendment, the disease is youngsters who are steeped in a culture of violence, they’ve been drugged in many cases. Nearly of these perpetrators are male and they’re young teenagers in most cases. They’ve come through a culture where violence is commonplace. All we need to do is turn on the TV. Go to a movie. Many of these young boys have been on Ritalin since they were in kindergarten. Now I’m certainly not a doctor, I’m a Marine. But I can see those kinds of things happening.” 

He’s not a doctor, but he knows that Ritalin is the cause. But, um, Ollie? Traitor? Criminal? What about young girls on Ritalin? Why are they shootin’ up the schools?

Oh yeah, you’re a lying, pandering, NRA check cashing asshat.

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Art Acevedo, Houston Police Chief, blaming elected officials for inaction on the state and federal level in response to repeated shootings at schools:

"Let me tell you, people at the state level and the federal level in too many places in our country are not doing anything other than offering prayers. We need to start using the ballot box and ballot initiatives to take the matters out of the hands of people that are doing nothing that are elected into the hands of the people to see that the will of the people in this country is actually carried out. I think that the American people, gun owners—the vast majority of which are pragmatic—actually support gun sense and gun reform in terms of keeping guns in the right hands, [but] if you have firearms in your home and you do not secure them and you don't secure them in a manner that can preclude someone from grabbing them and taking them and carrying out this carnage, [there] is a criminal liability that attaches. I believe that anyone that owns a firearm that doesn't secure it properly [and it] ends up in the wrong hands and used to kill innocent people, that that should carry some significant consequences. We need to think about that on the national level across this country."

Another voice of reason. Listen.

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Sarah Paulson, my favorite actress—besides Meryl—on her relationship with Holland Taylor: 

“If anyone wants to spend any time thinking I’m strange for loving the most spectacular person on the planet, then that’s their problem. I’m doing just fine.”

Word.

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Matt Bomer, My Husband in My Head, on the night during a preview of Broadway’s revival of The Boys In The Band, when the prop crew forgot to leave a towel for him during a shower scene:

“I had the choice to either do the rest of the 10-minute scene butt-naked, which would not have made any sense. Or, there’s like a glass partition, so I had to kind of coyly reach around and grab my tighty-whities and put them back on my soaking wet body, and then do the rest of the scene in wet tighty-whities.”

Okay, I’m’a just say that the crew didn’t 'forget,’ they wanted a chance for some Bomer Butt on Broadway and gave it their best shot.

I mean, it’s what I would have done.

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