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Michael de Adder, John Branch, Lalo Alcaraz, Rick McKee, Ann Telnaes, Benjamin Slyngstad, Nick Anderson, Adam Zyglis, Matt Wuerker, Mike Luckovich, Steve Greenberg, Joe Thibodeau, Darrin Bell, Clay Bennett

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The Bad and The Good ... Monday May, 2, 2022

These really are the easiest posts to compile because there are dumb people everywhere ... but that’s what makes it so frightening. So this week, I decided to include some Good News as sort of a palette cleanser for the crazies …

BAD

TENNESSEE

GOP Governor Bill Lee has signed a new bill to allow Ivermectin, AKA horse paste, to be available for the treatment of COVID-19 without a prescription in Tennessee. Horse.Paste.

Of note is that in 2019 Governor Lee declared that God would stop school shootings and opioid overdoses if enough people would just pray for it to happen. In 2020 he asked people to pray away the COVID.

How’s that workin’ for you, Governor? Looks like your god doesn’t care about school shootings, opioid deaths, or COVID.

OKLAHOMA

The state Senate approved a GOP bill to outlaw abortion, putting the state on track to be the first in the nation to enact a total abortion ban once the GOP governor signs the measure into law.

Raped and pregnant? Too bad. Victim of incest? Too bad. Not viable for mother or child to survive a pregnancy? Too fucking bad.

GEORGIA

GOP Governor Brian Kemp signed several education bills into law last week: one empowers the state school athletic association to exclude transgender athletes, one allows for the banning books, and one makes it wrong to teach history, well, real, true, history.

The world is going to hell in a  handbasket and Kemp is worried about books and history and transgender athletes.

OKLAHOMA

GOP Governor Kevin Stitt has signed a bill prohibiting the use of nonbinary gender markers on state birth certificates.

The bill followed a flap last year over the Department of Health’s agreement in a civil case allowing a nonbinary option. The birth certificate in that case was issued to an Oklahoma-born Oregon resident who sued after the agency initially refused the request. The GOP and Stitt were incensed and Stitt issued an executive order prohibiting any changes to a person’s gender on birth certificates.

FLORIDA

Jeremy Baldwin teaches social studies at Booker High School in Florida and has flown a rainbow colored Coexist flag in his classroom for four years without any problem, but shortly after the Don’t Say Gay law was signed he was forced to take it down because it’s “political” in nature.

Now, I get the rainbow part cuz, you know, gay is illegal and all, but the idea of asking people to coexist, regardless of their religious beliefs, is too hot a topic?

Oh Flori-duh.

GOOD

GEORGIA

About 200 members of the Sons of Confederate Veterans gathered at Stone Mountain over the weekend for an observation of Confederate Memorial Day, but they were met with roughly 100 counter protesters shouting and jeering, forcing the SCV speakers to struggle to be heard over the din. SCV member Kenneth Buggay said:

“These protesters are against our Christian faith. They are anti-Christ. We have been fighting this war since 1861. We will be victorious.”

You’ve been fighting for 161 years and you are nowhere near victorious, asshat.

KANSAS

The GOP-controlled House failed to override Democrat Governor Laura Kelly’s veto of a transgender sports ban, blocking the measure from becoming a law.

Kelly is the fourth governor this year to veto a transgender sports ban, though two of the others—Utah GOP Governor Spencer Cox and Kentucky Democrat Governor Andy Beshear—had their vetoes overridden by their state’s legislatures; the Indiana legislature has not yet tried to override GOP Governor Eric Holcomb’s veto.

FLORIDA

The Human Rights Campaign is welcoming people to Florida with new billboards:

“Governor Ron DeSantis welcomes you to Florida, the ‘Don’t say gay or trans’ State.”

The “Don’t say gay or trans” part is written over “Sunshine”—Florida’s official nickname.

UTAH

Jillian Orr recently graduated from Brigham Young University— a private university in Utah sponsored by the Mormon Church—but she may be in trouble with the university for her graduation stunt.

Orr, who is bisexual, sewed a rainbow flag into her graduation gown and showed it off at the ceremony, and then shared it to social media where it went viral.

Stand out. Speak out. Live out.

And CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE.

They're Everywhere ... March 21, 2022

These really are the easiest posts to compile, because, literally, they're everywhere ... but that's what makes it so frightening.

ALABAMA

The Alabama House of Representatives has approved a bill that would ban the teaching of “divisive concepts” in K-12 history after a debate in which Democrats accused Republicans of trying to erase history. The bill passed 65 to 32, on a mostly party-line vote, with … wait for it, no one saw it coming … four Republicans joining the Democrats in voting against the bill.

The bill, by GOP Representative Ed Oliver has been one of the most controversial this year. Oliver was asked if there was any indication that is happening in Alabama, Oliver said there is but did not provide any specifics.

He said the bill was intended to be preventive meaning he’s trying to prevent something from happening even though he has no proof it’s happening or going to happen.

Look let’s call this what it is: A White Fragility Bill for white people who can’t handle the truth.

SOUTH CAROLINA

As if lethal injection wasn’t bad enough, South Carolina is now prepared to conduct executions by firing squad once it’s approved by the state Supreme Court. The murder of South Carolina’s 35 death-row inmates can follow.

Even more vile, is that, under a law passed in May 2021, the electric chair is the state’s primary means of execution though inmates can also choose lethal injection and now firing squad, too.

LOUISIANA

Don’t Say Gay comes to Louisiana in a new bill, submitted by GOP  Representative Dodie Horton, that would “prohibit discussion about sexual orientation or gender identity” in K-8 classes and keep instructors from discussing their own sexual orientation or gender identity with students in grades K-12.

Dodie decided the state needs a Don’t Say Gay bill after looking at Twitter and Facebook and then … wait for it … praying about it.

I long for the day there’s a Don’t Say God bill that affects Congress.

CALIFORNIA

Rachel Hamm is running for Secretary of State and has been endorsed by Steve Bannon and Michael Flynn, which should be warning enough, but then Hamm speaks:

 “I’ve been a prophetic dreamer so I had spent a lot of 2019 and 20 having a lot of political dreams that I was in office. And because our youngest son Ezekiel is a seer ... I said, ‘Hey, can you look around and see what you’re seeing?’ … And then he goes into the closet—which is where I had been when I was praying—and he said, ‘Whoa ... You’ve got a really big guy in your closet, and his power is pushing me to the ground,’ and he had never had that reaction ever, to an angel … And he said, ‘Immanuel,’ That wasn’t an angel. It wasn’t an angel that was Jesus himself. And so that’s why I’m running for secretary of state.”

Cuz Jesus came to her in her son’s closet.

This is the same Rachel Hamm who claimed in 2021 that she had repelled a home intruder in the name of Jesus and sent him to murder the witch living next door.

Huh.

 UNITED STATES

If you ever needed proof that you can’t be too rich and too stupid at the same time, look at Elon Musk, the world’s richest man, who has challenged Russian President Vladimir Putin to “single combat” for Ukraine via Twitter:

“I hereby challenge Vladimir Putin to single combat. Stakes are Ukraine. Do you agree to this fight?”

Seriously, if you thought Putin was a tiny little man with a microdick who longs to prove his manhood, take a look at Elon Musk.

MISSISSIPPI

GOP Governor Tate Reeves declared a victory as he signed a bill into law the state GOP falsely claim would ban the teaching of “critical race theory” in the state’s public schools and community colleges. Reeves lied when he said:

“Children are dragged to the front of the classroom and are coerced to declare themselves as oppressors, that that they should feel guilty because of the color of their skin, or that they are inherently a victim because of their race.”

That has never happened because, if it had, you just know Reeves would have trotted those poor victimized white children before the cameras.

 TEXAS

More than 27,000 mail-in ballots were flagged for rejection in the first test of new voting restrictions enacted across the country. It puts the rate of rejected mail ballots in Texas on track to significantly surpass previous elections.

Rejected mail ballots are uncommon in a typical election but surprisingly enough this batch represents 17% across 120 counties.

They’re trying to make sure only the right white person votes.

OHIO

GOP Governor Mike DeWine signed a bill into law that does away with the permitting restrictions to carrying a concealed firearm in the state.

Ohio law previously required eight hours of training, including live-fire practice, to obtain a concealed carry permit, and a background check was required, but not anymore.

The new law also eliminates the requirement that people inform a police officer if they are carrying a weapon. An officer can still ask and lying to the officer about carrying a weapon is a misdemeanor.

That’s the GOP, less education and more guns.

TENNESSE

Last week Tennessee House Republicans advanced legislation to ban public schools from using textbooks or materials that “promote, normalize, support or address LGBT issues or lifestyles.” While similar to Florida’s ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill, which would forbid instruction on sexual orientation and gender identity in kindergarten through third grade, the Tennessee version would apply to all K-12 public schools. GOP Representative Republican Bruce Griffey, the bill’s sponsor, says the sexuality of children should be left to their parents.

What the what?

Get educated and save yourselves from The Stupids.

And CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE!

They're Everywhere [Though a Lot Are In Florida] ... Part Six

Since they’re still at it, I’m still posting …

FLORIDA

I guess we should let it be known that you can take a gun  into a movie theater, and if another patron won’t get off his cell phone, and you confront him about it, and he tosses popcorn in your face, you can shoot him dead and be found not guilty.

That’s what happened this week to retired Tampa police officer … uh huh … who murdered Chad Oulson eight years ago.

Flori-duh.

ARIZONA

Governor Doug Ducey has no regrets about spending $500,000 to elect a GOP state senator, Wendy Rogers, with open ties to the white nationalist movement because, as he said, it’s still better than having a Democrat in her seat.

Ducey would rather a racist on office than a Democrat because racists stick together.

 FLORIDA

New statewide requirements on how race is discussed in schools, colleges and workplaces were approved by the Florida House this past week.

The legislation—which still needs Senate approval before going to DeSantis, who is certain to sign it into law—prohibits any teaching that could make students feel they bear personal responsibility for historic wrongs because of their race, color, sex or national origin.

I believe it’s the White Fragility Law.

Oh, and fuck Flori-duh.

UNITED STATES

Thing 45 recently launched Truth Social as a stand against censorship and for Free Speech.

Within hours they had already banned a used for creating an account called @DevinNunesCow.

Free Speech unless you hurt Devin Nunes’ feelings.

OKLAHOMA

Oklahoma Attorney General John O’Connor is reviewing dozens of books found in public school libraries to determine whether they violate state obscenity law. Books like … Of Mice and Men and Lord of the Flies … and newer titles that cover LGBTQ and social justice issues.

In 2018, O’Connor was nominated by Thing 45 to the federal bench but he did not get a hearing after the American Bar Association rated him “not qualified” on the grounds of “professional competence and integrity.”

He was appointed Oklahoma Attorney General in July 2021 by GOP Governor Kevin Stitt and immediately joined a suit to block Biden’s vaccine mandates.

Oklahoma, not okay.

FLORIDA

In an 11-point plan outlining the future agenda of the GOP, Senator Rick Scott proposes banning all government collection of racial data. The proposal would also remove all data on race from the US Census Bureau’s next population count in 2030.

He wants to erase the races in this country.

OHIO

Senate candidates Josh Mandell, a Republican, Morgan Harper, Democrat, participated in a debate last week and things got, um, interesting.

Mandel declared that “the only country on the whole planet where Africans were not brought as slaves” was the “Jewish state of Israel.”

Israel declared its independence in 1948.

Harper refused to shake Mandel’s hand after it was over because stupid is also a virus.

TEXAS

January 6 rioter Jenna Ryan claims that she was denied “basic human needs” while in jail over charges related to the Capitol attack.

What was she denied? Basic needs like “sunshine, phone, food.”

And she claims she was tortured in prison … possibly because she couldn’t access her Instagram.

Get educated and save yourselves from The Stupids.

CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE. 

Don't Say Gay, But Nazi Is Okay

The GOP of Florida, starting with dick-tator Ron DeSantis, is trying to make it illegal to say ‘gay’ in public schools; to make it a crime for children of same-sex parents to even talk about their Dads or Moms; to make the schools subject to lawsuits if they dare allow the children to discuss anything that might make the parents of other children uncomfortable.

Fucking snowflakes.

But Equality Florida is launching a new, two-part ad campaign to address those GOP legislative priorities that target—and could potentially harm—marginalized students, like those within the LGBTQ+ community.

The 30-second clips address two pieces of legislation centered around censorship in the classroom. One proposal, dubbed by critics as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, would closely regulate LGBTQ+ instruction in the classroom and conversations with younger students. Both versions of the bill have cleared their first committees in party-line votes, with Republicans voting in support of bigotry and hatred, and Democrats siding against.

These new Hate Bills, sponsored by Ocala Senator Dennis Baxley and Representative Joe Harding, would ban school districts from “encouraging classroom discussion about sexual orientation or gender identity in primary grade levels or in a manner that is not age-appropriate.” And the bills allow parents to sue a school district if such a violation occurred. Baxley says the bulls would promote parental rights and prevent schools from advancing “social agendas” like … equality.

The other legislation targeted by the ad campaign is called the “Individual Freedom” bill and it seeks to ban required discussions and lessons in classrooms and workplaces of any subject that Republicans contend are meant to “indoctrinate” cultural guilt in students and employees.

It’s anti-woke legislation, And meant to be a way to not discuss slavery, not discuss Civil Rights, not discuss LGBTQ+ rights, lest little Billy or Sally’s parents get butt hurt about it all.

This is DeSantis’ response to the teaching of Critical Race Theory which … read this and understand it … has never been taught in any school in the country—it was originally part of a law course at Harvard—and is not set to be taught at any school in this country.

Once again, it’s the GOP using fear of ‘other,’ be they people of color, or people of a different orientation or gender identity, to set this country back to the 1950s, when Black people knew they place, and LGBTQ people were in the closet.

The legislation, filed by Senator Manny Diaz Jr. and Representative Bryan Ávila allows people to sue for discrimination if they are made to feel “guilty” or “discomfort” because of training or school lesson is not pleasing and supportive and all-white.

Opposition to these Hate Bills has also come from the state’s largest parents group, the Florida PTA; child welfare and medical experts; and educators who warn of the chilling effect of the legislation’s vague language.

But the GOP doesn’t care. They want to keep America white and straight and bigoted and closed and racist and, let’s be clear women, because they’ll be coming for you next: male.

Oh, and please keep in mind that a few weeks ago when Nazis rallied in Florida not a single Republican spoke out against them. Clearly, you can’t say Gay but Nazi is okay.

Ain’t that America?

Florida Politics

The Funny Papers

Nick Anderson, Benjamin Slyngstad, Deb Milbrath, Dave Whamond, Drew Sheneman, David Horsey, JD Crowe, Kevin Siers, Jack Ohman, Ann Telnaes, Clay Bennett, David Fitzsimmons, Ed Hall, Michael de Adder,