Snarky Thoughts

Oh this is sooooooo surprising. One of Nick Cannon’s baby mamas, LaNisha Cole, went after Nick for posting “fake” photo ops with his other kids and their mothers. Cole—who shares 3-month-old daughter Onyx with Cannon—seemingly responded to questions about her and her daughter not being included in the recent snaps.

My Thought: LaNisha? Nick had at least nine other children with a handful of other women when he knocked you up and you think he has time to remember y’all? Please.

photo

It looks like Leonardo DiCaprio has dumped his “ancient” girlfriend, model Gigi Hadid, and gone back to his own tried and true “Only Models Under 25 Rule.” After dumping model Camila Morrone on or around her 25th birthday, and after the internet tore him a new one  for dating only models in their early 20s, Leo hooked up with “old” Gigi Hadid, who at 27 is on the old and dusty side, I’m guessing. Gigi and Leo were seen out and about in New York and his publicist dropped some quotes to the press about the couple, but quicker than you can say “Grandma Gigi,” 48-year-old Leo has moved on to 23-year-old model/actress this week Victoria Lamas.

My Thought: Leo will marry when he is officially four times as old as his bride … when she’s 23 and he’s 92 … and in diapers.

photo

John Mayer claims that he hasn’t really dated since getting sober six years ago. Telling Alex Cooper on his Call Me Daddy podcast that, without alcohol as a crutch, he lacks the “liquid courage” to go on dates. Well, that doesn’t explain the nearly four-hour dinner he shared with actress Kiernan Shipka last month, where the 45-year-old singer serenaded the 23-year-old Kiernan.

My Thought: I don’t believe a word Mayer says, and if he’s not dating it’s not his choice, it’s women saying, Oh hell no.

photo

I have never seen Titanic, but even I have heard the debate about why Kate Winslet’s character didn’t make room on the floating door for Leonardo DiCaprio's Jack, so that his character would survive. And while the debate rages … Rages? Really? … on, Kate Winslet, out promoting Avatar: The Way of Water, weighed in again about saving Leo, and said, “I don’t fucking know.” But apparently Titanic director, and egomaniac, James Cameron says he actually commissioned a scientific study to see if two people could stay afloat on a door after the Titanic went down to “put this whole thing to rest” and he claims there was no way both Jack and Rose could have survived.

My Thought: Do people really care about this? And does anyone really believe James Cameron commissioned a scientific study?

photo

I Ain't One To Gossip ...

Again …I don’t watch Dancing with the Used-To-Be-Stars-or-Second-Bananas-Or-Retired-Athletes-Or Actors-Looking-For-A-Comeback and never have, but I do read about it, especially now that Tyra Trainwreck Banks is the new host.

That bitch just can’t get through a show without a hideous dress or a huge on-air mix-up, like this week when they were whittling down the dancers to the bottom two.

And yet, she left three couples on the dance floor—Anne Heche and partner [who knows their names]; Vernon Davis and partner; Chrishell Stause [who?]and her partner—and called them the bottom two.

Bitch can’t count; and apparently can’t read either because she’d just finished telling Monica Aldama [another who?] and her partner that they were safe, and yet they weren’t. Trainwreck said:

“There’s actually been an error. I’m looking right now and we have three couples, so we need to clarify this for one second. The bottom two couples are Anne and Keo and Monica and Val.”

So, she has Monica come back out, while the judges tried to shoo Vernon and partner, and Chrishell Stause [who?]and partner offstage lest Trainwreck screw things up again.

And like she did the last time she screwed up she released the same crap from her mouth:

“This is live TV, right? This is the craziness of live TV… This is live TV. I was reading my cards, but my cards were wrong. So here we go. …  This is live TV, and we’re all human.”

Yeah, except the last host they had never did that in the 48 years this show has been on TV, Tyra. Perhaps a little less time win the makeup chair with the spatula, and a little less time picking a dressing from the ugly, pile, and little more time paying attention.

photo

Mariah’s back with more snippets from the book she “wrote” The Importance of Being Mimi or whatever. And this time she’s dogging her ex-fiancé, who had to sue to get the ring back, by the way, James Packer.

Mariah dated and was engaged to the Australian billionaire for 8 months until he finally, truthfully, literally, paid her off to go away—and here I thought Lindsay Lohan was a hooker—and she tells the world that the two never had sex in their entire relationship.

That must have been the world’s longest, and least fulfilling, dry hump … until James’ wallet shot the wad of bills at Mariah and she went home.

photo

Speaking of people who “write” books about their lives, we now have gossip-monger Perez Hilton who has written about the time he made out with John Mayer in his book, TMI: My Life in Scandal.

It seems that in 2007, Hilton had finished co-hosting MTV’s New Year’s Eve celebrations with Christina Aguilera and the two of them decided to hit a club in Chelsea where they met up with Jessica Simpson and her then-boyfriend John Mayer.

Perez ALLEGES that as they all sat down, Mayer leaned into him and said:

“I like to watch gay porn, you know. My favorite porn star is Brent Corrigan. He really turns me on.”

Hilton then ALLEGES that Mayer leaned in and shoved his tongue into Hilton’ mouth, and Hilton, despite being momentarily paralyzed, began making out with Mayer.

Hilton ALLEGES that Simpson watched her boyfriend and Hilton make-out but covered her face with her hair. I’d have gone to the kitchen for bleach and a Brillo Pad™ to scrub my eyes clean. I mean, look at the pair of ‘em up there… creepy and creepier.

Mayer and Simpson’s reps are not responding because, again, ick, but Mayer has spoken of it:

"The only man I kissed is Perez Hilton. It was New Year’s Eve and I decided to go out and destroy myself. I was dating Jessica at the time, and I remember seeing Perez Hilton flitting about this club and acting as though he had just invented homosexuality. All of a sudden I thought, I can out gay this guy right now. I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I have ever put on anybody almost as if I hated fags. I don’t think my mouth was even touching when I was tongue kissing him, that’s how disgusting this kiss was. I’m a little ashamed. I think it lasted about half a minute. I really think it went on too long.”

Again, ick.

photo

Former Beverly Hills, 90210 has-beens Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling are addressing Jessica Alba’s ALLEGATIONS that she wasn’t allowed to make eye contact with the cast when she filmed an episode of the show fifty-six years ago. In a teaser for their new podcast, 9021OMG, both Garth and Spelling said they didn’t recall such a rule:

“Tori, did you — I just need to know, did you tell her not to look me in the eye?” “Why’s it all about you?” “Well, because I had all the scenes with her, like, if anybody was, you know, didn’t want to have their eyes looked into, it would’ve been me. But I don’t remember because I have the world’s worst memory.” Spelling then speculated that maybe the producers sent around a “cool memo” that mandated the odd request. This bit of fluff began last week when Alba appeared on Hot Ones and spoke of ‘The Rule’: “I couldn’t even make eye contact with any of the cast members, which was really strange when you’re like trying to do a scene with them. It was like, ‘You’re not allowed to make eye contact with any one of the cast members or you’ll be thrown off the set.’” Garth, who was the one not being looked at, will only say that she  remembers Alba as being “super talented”: “She was very young, and she was really sweet. It does not surprise me that she’s gone on to be so successful.” Perhaps because she didn’t look at the cast, Alba didn’t have whatever talent she has, or had, sucked out of her body by a cast of talentless acting vampires. photo

“Tori, did you — I just need to know, did you tell her not to look me in the eye?”

“Why’s it all about you?”

“Well, because I had all the scenes with her, like, if anybody was, you know, didn’t want to have their eyes looked into, it would’ve been me. But I don’t remember because I have the world’s worst memory.”

Spelling then speculated that maybe the producers sent around a “cool memo” that mandated the odd request.

This bit of fluff began last week when Alba appeared on Hot Ones and spoke of ‘The Rule’:

“I couldn’t even make eye contact with any of the cast members, which was really strange when you’re like trying to do a scene with them. It was like, ‘You’re not allowed to make eye contact with any one of the cast members or you’ll be thrown off the set.’”

Garth, who was the one not being looked at, will only say that she  remembers Alba as being “super talented”:

“She was very young, and she was really sweet. It does not surprise me that she’s gone on to be so successful.”

Perhaps because she didn’t look at the cast, Alba didn’t have whatever talent she has, or had, sucked out of her body by a cast of talentless acting vampires.

photo

It's Snarkurday!

I’ve often called Helen Mirren the ‘British Meryl Streep’ …or, Streep is the ‘American Mirren.’ Now, however, we have an ‘American Hugh Grant’ in Owen Wilson, a confirmed bachelor who has fathered two sons with two different women.

A la Grant, who recently married one of his Baby Mama’s.

And now it appears Wilson has ALLEGEDLY fathered another child with a third woman and is undergoing a paternity test to see if he is the daddy.

Well, sperm donor. Wilson shares his 7-year-old son, Robert, with his ex-girlfriend Jade Duell, and is also the father of 4-year-old son Finn, with another ex, Caroline Lindqvist, and will no doubt be in this child’s life if Maury opens that envelope and proves he is the father.

But, um, Owen, howsabout not having a slew of children with a slew of women, because you cannot be a full-time daddy to three children by three different women. M’kay?

photo

Well, there is one anonymous Hollywood publicist who offers one piece of serious advice to his female clients: avoid John Mayer.

Sidenote: I think everyone should heed that advice.

Mayer, who’s dated Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Taylor Swift, and Katy Perry, is known to be “manipulative,” according to the mysterious PR flack.  Mayer once actually claimed that he didn’t sleep with women of color because his dick was racist and yet he still managed to get girls. The publicist says:

“I tell women in Hollywood to steer clear of him. He’s manipulative. He has a reputation … and it’s better to exercise caution dealing with anybody who kisses and tells.”

And tell and tell and tell and, a la Swifty, write songs about it. Mayer has said that he loved “sexual napalm” Jessica Simpson, has ridiculed Aniston for wanting him to pay as much attention to her as he did to his phone, and, yes, he’s a Taylor Swift song.

Like I said, the world should steer clear.

photo

Oh Madge, stop; just stop.

This week Madonna and her legal team were told to stop trying to obtain records from the neighbors in her Upper West Side co-op in NYC. It seems Madge stands accused of “harassing” her neighbors by continuing to seek records from the co-op board after losing a lawsuit.

Madonna sued her building, Harperley Hall in 2016 claiming that, because she’s always traveling the world, there was no way she could be in her condo all the time to satisfy the new rules against non-homeowners using the condo. The case got tossed because Madge filed too late and, since Madge doesn’t like being told what to do, so tried to dig up board records including voting information and annual meeting minutes to “investigate how her lease was changed” and “how her family may use Unit 7A without breaching the lease.”

Well, a judge has put the kibosh on Madge trying to harass her neighbors into getting that information:

 “Plaintiff [Madge] does not need those materials anymore to prove a case that, by law, she is no longer allowed to prove.”

In other words, Madge, we’re done.

Take a seat and follow the rules or, as Judge Judy would say:

"Uh, moooooove!”.

photo

Meanwhile onto other diva news, and by diva, I mean the weave and ass shaking, the lip-syncing, the sell your soul for coins loving, Beyoncé.

This week, while touring with current husband—you know this shiz won’t last—Jay-Z, the stage fucked up, and the only way for Bey to get down was from a ladder. And Bey doesn’t know how ladder works.

Seriously. The Carters were in Warsaw and one of the moving stages had clearly had enough of the gyrating while mouthing the words to her songs and took a break. And the only way for Bey to get down from the stage was if she hiked a leg and went down the ladder her assistants propped against the broken set piece.

And she wasn’t happy, though she pasted ion that trademarked Beyoncé smile™ and, after several minutes of people telling her she’d be fine, she finally hiked her leg up and descended the ladder held steady by about ten minions.

Seriously? Bitch doesn’t know how to use a ladder?

photo

We already mentioned her once, back in that John Mayer mess, so let’s dish on Jessica Simpson, who’s made a fortune selling shoes but understands her singing and acting career … and that makes me giggle … career …are all but over.

Word on the street is that Simpson has lost all motivation for life, along with husband Eric Johnson, stay home boozing and eating all the time. A source—and you know it’s Jessica herself—says:

“She feels like her acting career over, she’s aged out of Hollywood, and too fat. She doesn’t want to work out like she did before for roles … [She and Eric] rarely leave their huge mansion. And have everything delivered, no matter what it is!”

Now that may seem farfetched …especially the ‘aged out’ of Hollywood part because everyone knows she’s no actress, but what about that singing career? Simpson was ALLEGEDLY offered a Las Vegas residency, but would have had to lose weight for and she didn’t want to do that, so she declined.

And stayed home and ordered pizza.

photo

The Kardastrophe-Jenners have fired another influential behind-the-scenes person in their entourage: their longtime makeup artist Joyce Bonelli. A statement, no doubt released by That Woman, says:

“The family doesn’t speak to her anymore. She hasn’t worked for them for months. They just stopped working with her because they didn’t see it as a right fit anymore.”

And to make their point, every single Kardastrophe has stopped following Bonelli on Instagram.

The shock! But now the truth comes out … things turned sour last year, when Bonelli ALLEGEDLY “tried to go around them on a deal so the Kardastrophes wouldn’t make money off of it.”

Well, of course, it’s about the coins. How dare one of their employees make money off their name? I mean, they owe Satan a buttload of cash for making them famous. And by ‘Satan,’ I mean, That Woman.

photo

Mo’Nique has been battling with her Precious director Lee Daniels ever since that movie came out … almost ten years ago.

Damn, girl can hold a grudge. She famously claimed she was blackballed from Hollywood by Daniels for not “playing the game” by demanding to be paid for promoting the film for which she won an Oscar.

Daniels clapped back by saying Mo’Nique had too many “demands” and then Mo’Nique doubled down by adding Oprah and Tyler Perry to the list of people who treated her shabbily.

And now Daniels, who holds a grudge almost as tightly as Mo’Nique spoke again about their feud and asked Mo’Nique to stop blaming him, Oprah, and Tyler Perry for her career crash-and-burn, especially since Lee helped her win that Oscar:

“It breaks my heart that she feels that we blackballed her. No one blackballed her. Mo’Nique blackballed her. And for her to continue to talk about Oprah and myself and Tyler is disrespectful and, yeah, that hurt … I don’t understand her motive. I don’t get it. I really don’t … For her to think that I could do anything but, I don’t know, I don’t, like, it ain’t even worth the conversation. Like, she needs to shut up.”

Daniels oughta take his own advice and whenever Mo’Nique’s name comes up, simply say nothing. I mean, nothing ends a public feud faster than saying nothing. But Mo’Nique has already said she will never stop talking:

“The truth only goes away if we stop talking and y’all and I ain’t gonna stop talking and Lee Daniels, you shut up.”

Seriously? This has devolved into ‘You shut up!’ ‘No, you shut up.’?

Howsabout you both shut up?

photo

Guy Pearce is the latest person to spill the beans … twenty years later … about Kevin Spacey’s predilection for roaming groping hands.

If you recall, last year Gabriel Byrne revealed that Spacey caused shooting on The Usual Suspects to shut down because of his inappropriate sexual behavior and now Pearce says Spacey got “handsy” with him on the set of L.A. Confidential:

“Amazing actor; incredible actor. Mmm. Slightly difficult time with Kevin, yeah. He’s a handsy guy.”

Mild shade, until Pearce added:

“Thankfully, I was 29 and not 14.”

As a reminder, 14 is how old Anthony Rapp was when Kevin ALLEGEDLY molested him.

So, I’ll say it: I hope authorities come after Spacey with the same vengeance with which they’re gone after Weinstein because he deserves to be punished for being a sexual predator.

UPDATE:

Scotland Yard is investigating 3 more possible sexual assaults by Kevin Spacey:

“Between February and April of this year, police received allegations that the American actor sexually assaulted men in London and Gloucester. This brings the number of claims against Spacey being investigated by London police to six – five complaints of sexual assault and one of assault. The police have not confirmed the name of the person being investigated. Two of the latest allegations are said to have occurred in London – Westminster (1996) and Lambeth (2008) – and the third in Gloucester (2013).”

Perfect.

photo

It's Snarkurday!

Lisa Marie Presley has been married ... a lot; I mean, we all know about the Michael Jackson sham and the Nicholas Cage crazy, but there are others; and that means she’s been divorced ... a lot, too. But normally her divorces are quiet and quick, until this current one—I won’t say ‘last one’ because ... it’s Lisa Marie—from Michael Lockwood, her husband of ten years, is getting ugly.

Lisa Marie and Michael have twin 8-year-old girls who are now in the custody of the LA County Department of Children and Family Services after Lisa Marie told the authorities that she found disturbing things on Michael’s computer ... something along the lines of child porn, though no one is really saying.

Lisa Marie says the images and videos made her “sick to her stomach” and so she called the Beverly Hills Police Department; using a search warrant, they found the questionable images and videos, and also confiscated 80 ... eighty??? ... of Michael’s devices.

Now the divorce is not just irreconcilable differences, but about the ALLEGATIONS of “sexual abuse and neglect” against Michael Lockwood and, while he wants spousal support, she is claiming to be broke.

Yup, Lisa Marie is broker than broke. She’s already gone through her $300 million inheritance from Daddy Elvis, owes $7.3 million to the IRS, is $655,000 in debt, and is living with her daughter Riley Keough and her husband.  

And, she says, her brokeness is ALLEGEDLY Lockwood’s fault because, again, she says, he stole from her and failed to make the payments on her English manor house and so she owes another $5.4 million there.

But, to be fair, this is what constitutes broke in Lisa Marie’s life: she receives $100,000 a month from her father’s estate and another $4,361 monthly for being the creative director at Graceland. Over 100K a month is broke? That’s almost $3,500 a day. I should be so broke.

Now, I don’t know if Lisa Marie is broke—okay, I know she’s not Bob Broke, she’s Presley broke—and I don’t know if her husband is some kind of Subway Jared perv, but I do know that this is one fugly split.

[photo] 

Speaking of celebrity divorces, it now appears that after splitting up—perhaps because of Ben’s dalliance with the nanny—Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are finally, truly, really done being husband-and-wife.

Ben has moved out of the guest house and Jennifer is filing papers. I’m kinda glad because this marriage-is-over-but-he’s-living-in-the-guest-house-and-we-take-vacations-together mess has gone on too long.

[photo]

Poor Little Justin Bieber ... back in May 2016, an indie artist named Casey Dienel accused Justin and Skrillex of stealing a sample from her song Ring The Bell and using it without permission. So now she’s suing, but getting Justin to talk may be hard.

Bieber was scheduled to give a deposition last week, but didn’t even show up. He called in sick ... well, the nanny called in sick ... he couldn’t talk with the rectal thermometer in his mouth.

But Casey Dienel’s lawyers think he’s #FakeNews and say they have proof via several YouTube videos showing him partying with his friends in the early morning hours before his scheduled deposition... damn you, YouTube ... and then hours after calling in sick, Bieber, posted more pictures to Instagram of him drinking with his friends.

To be fair, no one ever said he was smart.

Casey’s lawyers are pissed, because they flew from Nashville to LA for the deposition, so now they want Bieber to give his make-up deposition in March in Nashville.

I imagine his excuse for missing that deposition is that he got locked inside the overhead compartment on the plane.

[photo]

Katherine Heigl had it made; she was the It Girl on Grey’s Anatomy back in the day, but then her head got too big and she ran from that show to make movies. A few were successful, but then even her films were bust so she went trotting back to TV. Her first foray of shame was in something called State of Affairs, which was cancelled about halfway through the first hour it was on.

So, don’t blink, because Heigl is back in a new show called Doubt and there is no doubt that it will die a quick death.

But this story is about her promoting Doubt on The Late Late Show with James Corden, and Corden saying he’d heard—or had been told, by Heigl—that John Mayer had something to do with her finding her husband and falling in love and blahblahblah.

See, about a month after Heigl and Josh Kelley started dating, she says that she didn’t know if he was serious, and so she started “hanging out”—banging—John Mayer; she swears they never “did it” but says she just used John  to make Josh jealous:

“[John] wasn’t interested in me in that way, but he would talk to me about like other hot girls and stuff. It was friends! But Josh didn’t know that. But Josh, to this day, doesn’t quite believe me ... But I did use it a little bit to put a fire under him. It was like, ‘Hey, if this isn’t exclusive and you’re dating other people, that’s fine, but I’m going to continuing seeing John.'”

Seriously, Josh was jealous of John Mayer? I mean, Mayer has banged garbage cans in LA and if Heigl thinks that’s an endearing quality to make Josh jealous then the two of them, the three of them, are crazy.

Or maybe Josh Kelley knew they were banging and sacrificed himself to save the world from a Heigl-Mayer spawn.

[photo]

Two years after Nicole Kidman escaped the cult of Scientology Tom Cruise, there were rumors she was dating Lenny Kravitz.  I remember hearing that and thinking, “Lucky bitch,” but neither Nicole nor Lenny ever confirmed it ... until now.

Nicole is starring in a new HBO series Big Little Lies and one of her co-stars is, small world, Lenny’s daughter Zoë Kravitz, and when Nicole was interviewed about the show and the other actresses and how they all knew each other, she said this:

“Well, I knew Zoë because I was engaged to her father. It’s all in the family! I love Lenny; he’s a great guy.”

Back in 2007, Nicole admitted she had been engaged to someone before marrying Keith Urban in 2006, but she wouldn’t say to whom ... and now we know.

Seriously, it looks like some celebrities don’t have to share their every moment with the media ... though this romance was back in the days before everyone had a smart phone and an Instagram account.

And again, I’ve seen the video of Lenny onstage and he splits his pants down the middle and so, again, “Lucky bitch.”

Even if it was a short engagement.

[photo1, photo 2]

Sometimes it’s best when athletes don’t speak; I mean, make your coins from your athletic prowess, but don’t talk, at all.

Case in point, Cleveland Cavalier Kyrie Irving who has just come out ... no, not that way ... to say that the earth is flat.  Oh, but he did; he said it on the Road Trippin’ with RJ & Channing podcast:

“This is not even a conspiracy theory. The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat. … It’s right in front of our faces. I’m telling you, it’s right in front of our faces. They lie to us.”

He says science is just opinion and that sometimes—shades of Hair Furor—they lie, because he did learn that the earth was round but found that to be a lie?

What the what? It got to be such a story in the NBA that even LeBron James weighed in, saying “if he decides he wants to say the Earth is flat, so be it. He’s an interesting guy, and he believes it.” 

What the ... ? LeBron? You need to sit down and rethink that statement because what you should have said was something along the lines of, “How cute, but the earth isn’t flat and science isn’t just some guy’s opinion.

And Irving? Child, you need to stop talking and get back to class.

[photo]

Harrison Ford is one of those movie stars who like to fly planes and for a while he was good at it. Then he flew one into the ground and seriously injured himself, and last week he ALLEGEDLY landed his plane on a taxiway instead of a runway at the John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, California and nearly missed hitting another plane carrying 110 passengers.

And now his newest role is playing the subject of an FAA investigation because, as he was coming in for a landing on the wrong runway, he asked the tower:

“Was that airliner meant to be underneath me?”

And that answer would be, “No, fool! You aren’t supposed to be over that airliner!”

And, not only that, Ford also ALLEGEDLY misidentified what kind of plane he was piloting and was ALLEGEDLY broadcasting to the wrong tower!

I’m thinking Hans should no longer fly Solo.

See what I did there ... ah, who cares!

[photo] 

Disney is doing live-action remakes of pretty much all their cartoons because M-I-C ... see ya real soon ... K-E-Y ... why, because we need the coins.

And now comes word that Disney will be doing a live version of The Little Mermaid and, color me crazy, but Lindsay Lohan wants to be the mermaid.

On her Instagram page, Lohan actually put a photo of herself alongside a picture of cartoon Ariel, and then announced that she wants Bill Condon to direct, and her sister, Ali, to do a song for the film, and that Kat Graham should play Ursula.

Sadly, were this version of The Little Mermaid be made, it would end up with Ariel in prison for killing someone in an undersea bar fight.

Seriously, Lindsay? Sit down before you fall down.

[photo]

Remember how broke Tori Spelling is? I mean, the IRS is after her, as are most credit card companies because Tori and her husband Dean McDermott don’t pay their bills.

And so what better way to try and get out of debt than to become pregnant with your fifth child and then ask your Mommy, Candy Spelling, to throw you a lavish baby shower. Nothing says I can’t pay my bills than a $40,000 party for a fetus.

Money that could have been used to pay off a credit card or, oh, I don’t know, maybe pay off Dean’s ex-wife, Mary Jo Eustace, the one he left after he started schtupping the married to someone else, Tori.

See, Dean owes Mary Jo thousands of dollars in back child support for their 18-year-old son Jack, and after seeing Tori’s Instagram of the FetusFest, Mary Jo is expected to rake Dean’s ass over the coals next month in court.

But, hey, back child support, or a party for your fifth child?

Asked and answered.

[photo]

So, Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black became the Cute-Hot-New-Gay couple when they hooked up a few years ago, but maybe the newly out Tom should’a waited awhile before settling down, because, ALLEGEDLY, he’s kind of a photo-sharing, model-banging player.

See, Tom ALLEGEDLY sent a soft-core—it wasn’t hard, if you get my drift—porn video to a fan on Snapchat while, he claims, that he and Dustin were Ross-and-Rachel’ing it, i.e. they were on a break.

But he also had a bit of thing, and a couple of more things, with a model named Edward William whom he met on a London street. They started “hanging out” a year after Tom and Dustin became an item, and Edward has ALLEGEDLY “hung out” with both men several times.

But then Edward and Tom became “f**k buddies” whenever Dustin left town and for a year-and-a-half Ed was Tom’s booty call. Now, to be fair, some folks say Tom and Dustin have an open relationship so maybe Dustin knew?

But if he knew, and he saw that guy, wouldn’t he have gone off? I mean, I would ...

Edward and Tom stopped doing each other in 2015 when Tom got engaged to Dustin and Edward found a boyfriend who was less trick and more full-time.

Happy endings all around, or so it appears.

[photo 1, photo 2]